Chapter Text
The mood throughout the village shifts on this day. Many are still mourning all the lives lost thirteen years ago. Others are celebrating the Yondaime’s sacrifice, remembering how he and his wife had given their lives to defeat the terrible beast that had threatened to destroy the village.
Naruto, for all his attention-seeking habits, knows how to go unnoticed when he needs to. He’s learned the hard way not to provoke the villagers during Commemoration Day. Seeing the jinchuuriki isn’t going to bring up good memories for anyone, and they are much more likely to take their grief out on him today if he were to be spotted.
He keeps his head down as he weaves through the streets, making sure his bright blond hair is hidden under his hoodie. He keeps to the dark alleyways, pressing himself as close to the wall as possible and not making a sound. The confusing network of passageways might be a nightmare to people who didn’t live in this area, but it had saved his sorry ass more times than he could count when he’d been running away from irate villagers.
The boy expertly maneuvers past the crowd unseen, moving away from the village center until he reaches the forest at the base of the Hokage Monument. Naruto puts his tree-walking skills to good use then, climbing up until he finds a thick branch he can settle down on.
And right on time, too. The fireworks display began just as he’d found the right spot. He hears people cheering in the distance as the pyrotechnics light up the night sky.
Naruto imagines they’re cheering for him instead. He pictures people singing him a happy birthday and giving him bowls of ramen for his birthday. And they’d tell him what a great ninja he was and how much they enjoyed having him around.
Eventually the fireworks die down, though Naruto knows it’ll be a long time before the people out on the streets disperse. He makes himself comfortable in the tree he’s sitting in, daydreaming about cakes and finding his long-lost parents.
Looking up at the night sky, he finds the brightest star and wishes that just this one time, he didn’t feel so alone on his birthday.
Naruto is suddenly distracted when he sees some sort of movement below him, and he tilts his head to get a better look. His spirit lifts when he recognizes the familiar figure.
“Hanzo-nii! Naruto calls out.
“Naruto?” Hanzo squints up at him. “What are you doing up there?”
The boy leaps from where he’s perched on the branch, meeting his friend down on the ground.
“What are you doing around here?” Naruto cheekily asks him back.
“Too many people out there,” Hanzo says, scrunching up his nose. “I’m not one for crowds.”
“Same here,” Naruto tells him. “So uh, you just decided to take a walk this side of the village?”
“What, am I not allowed to?” Hanzo says jokingly. Then he beckons Naruto with a head tilt. “Will you join me?”
Of course Naruto readily accepts. Hanzo is the only friendly face he’s seen today, other than when Iruka-sensei had checked in on him this morning.
“Got any fun stories for me tonight?” Hanzo asks.
Naruto enthusiastically dives into his latest pranks, down to every last ingenious detail. Hanzo laughs at all of his antics, not once telling him off for his delinquent behaviour.
“And, and then-” The boy cuts himself off mid-sentence to giggle hysterically at the memory. “Kiba let all fifty-four of their clan’s ninken out on the street to chase that cat! You should’ve seen-”
“Shhh!” Hanzo suddenly hushes him, pulling him behind a thick bush.
“What’s going on?” Naruto asks, only to have the man’s hand clamp over his mouth.
“Stay quiet,” Hanzo whispers, before pointing towards something ahead of them.
It’s a pair of men, obviously a little more than intoxicated. Naruto stills, watching as one of them pushes his companion against a tree. He’s not sure what to expect, but never in a million years did he guess they’d start kissing.
Naruto knows what the word “gay” means, has even thrown the word around to make fun of people before — until Iruka-sensei had smacked him upside the head for it. However this is the first time he’s actually seen people being, well, gay.
He bites his lip, watching as the kiss continues to grow more heated. It isn’t long before he hears strange noises coming from them. He knows it’s wrong to keep watching, but Naruto can’t tear his eyes away from the scene.
He feels very hot and tingly all of a sudden, and he doesn’t notice Hanzo moving his hand from Naruto’s mouth to his chest, pressing the boy closer to him. Naruto feels something stiff prod at his back, but he’s too focused on the way one of the men start to kneel.
“What’s he doing?” Naruto squeaks unintentionally.
“Who’s there?”
Hanzo is quick to pull them both down to the ground, safely out of sight. Anxiety and dread immediately douse the fire that had been building up inside him. If they were to find him, who knows what they’ll do? Naruto’s pretty sure he could outrun them, but Hanzo isn’t a ninja.
His stomach flips at the thought of anyone hurting his friend.
The couple, now spooked, are quick to leave the way they’d come. Naruto and Hanzo stay still for a few more minutes, only relaxing when the coast is clear.
“That was close,” Naruto sighs in relief. “They would’ve been really mad if they saw us.”
“I wouldn’t have let anything happen to you,” Hanzo reassures him. Naruto can’t help but be touched, knowing that his friend, this civilian, would have stood up for him without question. He’s honestly a little stunned by this, only snapping out of it when Hanzo gently touches his chin to make Naruto look up. “Let’s get out of here, huh?”
This time Naruto accepts when Hanzo invites him home, because he’s not quite ready to go back to his own shitty apartment. They sit on the man’s bed together, talking about anything and everything that came to mind.
Naruto learns that Hanzo is as generous with physical affection as he is with the verbal kind. He pets Naruto’s hair, even going as far to pull the boy closer when Naruto finds himself sitting between the man’s legs.
Nobody has touched him as much as Hanzo did. Most people are disgusted by Naruto, acting as if they’d catch some deadly disease just by being around him. Iruka-sensei is the only one who has ever given him hugs, but he’s never spent time in his teacher’s bed like this. He wonders if Hanzo would let him fall asleep here.
The thought is exciting…he’s never been invited to a sleepover before!
“Oh I didn’t know it was your birthday today,” Hanzo says, as soon as Naruto mentions it off-handedly. “Happy birthday! That makes you thirteen now, doesn’t it?”
“Mmm-yeah,” Naruto nods. “I’m practically an adult!” Hanzo laughs softly at this, but doesn’t try to tell him he’s not. The boy decides he really likes this guy.
“Hanzo-nii…” he asks, after thinking for a while. “What were those two guys doing out there? Are they…boyfriend and boyfriend?”
“Looked like it, yeah,” Hanzo laughs again. “It was pretty hot, watching them. Don’t you think?”
“Yes?” Naruto says, a little unsure. “But why were they making those sounds? It’s like they were hurting each other.”
“People make those noises when they do things that make them feel good. You know, like fucking.”
Naruto laughs at the vulgarity. It’s a word Naruto used a lot before, because he used to cuss all the time until Iruka-sensei taught him manners and “proper language”.
“What does fucking feel like?”
“Well it’s like-” Hanzo starts to say, then catches himself. “Ah, I shouldn’t tell. You wouldn’t get it anyway.”
Naruto whines. “Come on! I wanna know what the fuss is all about!”
“If I tell you, can you keep it secret?” Hanzo’s voice lowers an octave, and he bows his head to whisper into Naruto’s ear. “I heard ninja are supposed to be very good at keeping secrets.”
Naruto shivers, though he’s not really sure why. “Promise! I won’t tell anyone anything.” Hanzo hums in thought, then he relents.
“Well…there’s a lot of touching and kissing.” Hanzo says, slowly running his hands up Naruto’s back. “Sometimes on the chest if you’re fucking a girl.” He demonstrates this moving his touch to Naruto’s own chest, which makes the boy’s breath hitch. His mind swims and his body starts to feel hot again like it did earlier. “Guys prefer places much lower…”
Hanzo’s hands travels down to his thighs now, moving in a hypnotic rhythm . Naruto doesn’t know if he wants the feeling to stop or last forever. He opens his mouth to say something, anything, but nothing comes out. All he can register is Hanzo’s touch how it makes his thoughts scramble.
Should he stop this? The tips of Hanzo’s fingers are just barely touching the area Iruka-sensei had told him not to let strangers touch. But Hanzo isn’t just any stranger, he’s a friend, isn’t he?
Then the man finally presses down between his legs, and it’s like he’s been set on fire. His eyes roll back as something inside him surges. A choked groan makes it out his mouth, and he grips onto the man’s arms for dear life.
His vision whites out for a moment, and there’s ringing in his ears.
“That,” Hanzo’s deep, husky voice brings him back down to earth. “Is why people love to fuck.”
“Wha-what was that?” Naruto’s mind is still hazy, but an incomprehensible sense of guilt is beginning to creep in. He puts a shaky hand over Hanzo’s own, which is still between his legs. “D-did we do something bad?”
“Did it feel bad?”
“N..no?”
“Then we didn’t do anything wrong,” Hanzo tangles his fingers into Naruto’s hair, using his hold to gently turn the boy’s head towards him. “But you mustn’t tell anyone, okay? They wouldn’t understand. They might even hate you.”
“Hate me?” Naruto gulps. He suddenly feels very sick.
“But they won’t, because no one will find out.” Hanzo says seriously. “Our little secret, remember?”
Naruto does end up spending the night in Hanzo’s bed. But he lies awake for hours staring at the plain ceiling. He’s not used to sharing a bed, nor is he used to anyone holding him while he’s meant to be sleeping.
He thinks about what he saw earlier in the night, how the two men had kissed each other with such passion. Sasuke had been his first kiss, but that was totally an accident! And he’s daydreamed about kissing Sakura on the lips before, but he had no idea that kissing could look anything like he’d seen those guys do.
Suddenly he pictures kissing Hanzo and Naruto feels his face grow hot. He blinks quickly to rid his mind of the image. He couldn’t possibly have a crush on the man, could he? But he felt that fluttery sort of feeling as he lay in bed next to him.
Naruto knows what they did wasn't exactly right. But it wasn't that bad either, was it?
“Are you alright? You’re pretty quiet there.”
“Huh?” Naruto looks up from his ramen bowl to find Iruka looking over him with concern. The boy rubs his eyes and gives the man his best grin. “I’m great, sensei. I just uh- couldn’t sleep much last night!”
“Yeah, the activities were pretty loud,” Iruka says. “I hope nobody gave you any trouble.”
“I stayed out of everyone’s way and behaved myself, believe it!” Naruto assures him. Then, his thoughts betray him by recalling last night’s events. He feels Hanzo’s hands on him like a phantom touch, and he starts to feel warm again. Naruto takes a large bite of tonkotsu pork to try and distract himself.
“Say, Iruka-sensei…” he starts, but his teacher pokes him in the cheek as a reminder not to chew with his mouth full. The boy rolls his eyes, swallowing before he continues. “You don’t have a girlfriend, right?”
“No, why?”
“How about a boyfriend?”
The teacher chokes mid-noodle slurp. “B-brat,” he coughs out, wiping at his mouth. “Where are these questions coming from?”
“Just curious,” Naruto shrugs, hoping he can pass off as nonchalant.
“You better not be thinking about dating,” Iruka warns. “You’re only twelve.”
“Thirteen, actually.” Naruto reminds him hotly.
Iruka gently elbows him. “You’ll always be a cute little eight year old to me,” he teases. Naruto makes a noise of complaint, and decides to steal a dumpling in retaliation. Iruka lets him, like he always does.
Iruka clears his throat awkwardly. “Is there…a boy you like?” he asks quietly, and Naruto violently shakes his head.
“No, not at all!” The boy denies the insinuation emphatically, making a dramatic X with his arms as if it proved his point. “Eugh, im not gay. That’s gross!”
“Don’t say that, it’s rude!” Iruka chides, before his expression turns teasing and he wiggles his eyebrows. “Is it Sasuke?”
“I think I’m gonna vomit.”
Naruto groans as soon as he wakes up. He can feel the tell-tale stickiness in his underwear again, and jumps straight to a cold shower. The boy knows a little bit about puberty from the lessons at the Academy, and that these things are bound to happen at his age — but this has been happening almost everyday for the past few weeks now.
It’s mortifying.
He’s just about to leave when he takes one last look in the mirror. He hesitates at the sight of his hair. Would Hanzo think it looked messy? He fluffs it, then brushes it, then flips it this way and that before catching himself.
Why did he care so much about what the man thinks? Now he feels even more ridiculous. He gives up on trying to fix his hair, shaking it out before racing out the door because of course he’s late again.
“Heya, Naruto!” Hanzo calls out as the boy passes his cart. “Another mission today?”
“You know it!” Naruto comes to a sudden halt and back tracks a few steps to talk to his friend. Hanzo reaches into his sling bag, pulling out a big peach. The boy gawks. “No, way! Those aren’t even in season!”
“I’ve got my ways.” The man winks, tossing the fruit to Naruto. “Will I see you later?”
Naruto bites his lip, nodding. He’s been staying in Hanzo’s house more often, especially when training sessions and missions end earlier than expected. It’s where they play their “secret games”, as Hanzo calls it, involving rounds of strip-poker or similar activities. And the things that happen after that—well, they’re the reason behind many of Naruto’s wet dreams.
He feels that niggling sense of guilt again, hiding all of this from the people in his life, but he did promise Hanzo he could keep a secret. And if they ever found out…Naruto doesn’t even want to consider the consequences.
He pushes those thoughts to the back of his mind, taking a bite of the sweet peach as he goes on his way.
“You need to concentrate if you want to control your chakra,” Kakashi says sternly. He’s rarely impatient with Naruto, but the boy has been struggling to get this right for much too long. A few feet away down the river, Sasuke and Sakura are already throwing shuriken at each other as they flitted about gracefully on the water’s surface.
“I’m trying my best,” Naruto grits his teeth as he wobbles again, seconds before losing his focus and plunging into the river.
“Tsk,” Kakashi folds his arms. “Again.”
Naruto takes a deep breath before stepping out onto the surface once more. He manages to stay on top for at least five minutes this time, but he’s underwater as soon as Kakashi tests his balance with a light push.
The jounin sighs, dragging Naruto to shore by the leg. He can tells Naruto is just as frustrated at himself as he is. The Chuunin Exams are coming up, and Kakashi had been convinced that his students would be ready. Now he’s beginning to think submitting their names to the Hokage might not be the right move.
Naruto is holding his team back, and Kakashi won’t stand for it.
“You’ve been distracted lately,” he says. “On top of coming in late to training and missions. Are you trying to let your team down?”
Naruto is immediately on the defensive. “Of course not!”
Kakashi crouches to meet his eyes, which remind him painfully of his own sensei. He softens his tone, reminding himself that Naruto’s trouble with chakra control has less to do with the boy, and a whole lot more with the Kyuubi living inside him. “You can do so much better than this. What’s up with you?”
Naruto is quiet for a long time, and Kakashi wonders if he’s ever going to answer. “I asked you a question, Uzumaki.”
“Sensei… Am I a bad person?” The boy looks at him, and the lost expression on his face makes something inside him twist.
“What, why?” Kakashi frowns at the unexpected question. “Has anyone been giving you a hard time?” He’s not above using his rank and reputation to scare villagers into leaving his genin alone. And it wouldn’t be the first time he’s done it, either.
“No,” Naruto says quickly, standing so he can shake his limbs out and put on a brave front. “Sorry, I was just being dumb. I’m ready to walk on water now. Let’s go!” He moves to jump onto the water’s surface again, but Kakashi stops him with a firm hand on his shoulder.
“Tell me the truth, Naruto. Is someone is hurting you or telling you unkind things?”
“No, I swear,” the boy vigorously shakes his head. “It was just a stupid question.”
“But you will tell me if there is.” Kakashi says seriously, leaving no room for ifs and buts. “That’s an order.”
“Y-yes sir.” Naruto swallows hard. “Can we get back to training now?”
It’s well-past sunset when Team Seven returns from their mission. Naruto is exhausted, but he only takes a quick shower before stepping out of his apartment again.
He takes the long route, away from the restaurants and bars that would have people milling about. Fortunately the back streets are empty tonight, save for a few stray cats digging around the garbage for food. It reminds Naruto of the time he used to go dumpster-diving for leftovers, way before he knew how money worked and how to use it to get food.
Now, Hanzo cooked dinner for them on most nights. Teuchi-san had begun to question why Naruto didn’t come by as much, and he had to come up with excuses each time. He missed ramen terribly, but Hanzo’s company just made him feel so much better at the end of long days.
“You look terrible,” the man says by way of greeting. “Rough mission? Was it that cat again?”
“Cleaning out a farmer’s animal pens, actually. With a whole lot of piss-mopping and shit-shovelling.” Naruto digs into the gyudon Hanzo had so graciously cooked for them. “I love animals but boy are they a lot of work.”
“Yikes, that doesn’t sound pleasant.” Hanzo settles into his spot next to Naruto at the kotatsu, using one hand to give the boy a sympathetic back rub. With the other hand, he presents Naruto with a small rectangular box. “For you. I realise I never did give you a proper gift on your birthday.”
Naruto blushes, remembering the events that did happen that night. He slowly lifts the box’s lid to reveal a single kunai. It’s different from the standard Konoha kunai one might find at the village armory. Naruto admires the way the light reflects off the shiny metal. “Is this really for me?”
“I had to pull a few strings to get this thing from back home, but I thought you might like it,” Hanzo says.
“From Ishigakure?” The boy is astounded by the present. “You really didn’t have to.”
“I wanted to. You’ve grown to be someone I’m quite fond of.”
“You are…” Naruto blinks a few times, trying to decipher what the man meant. “…fond of me?”
Hanzo leans in, his hand sliding up to the boy’s nape. “Do you trust me?”
Naruto nods, even as he suddenly feels unsure. That’s when the man pulls him in for a kiss, and he freezes at the sensation of someone else’s lips on his own.
Before this, they’ve only ever touched each other. Naruto’s thought about kissing him before, even had dreams of this moment. He never thought that it would actually happen, and deep down he knows that it shouldn’t happen.
“Hanzo,” Naruto is breathless when he forces himself to pull away. “We can’t.”
“I’ll take care of you, Naruto. I promise.” The man strokes Naruto’s cheek with his thumb, looking at the boy like he’s something precious. Not once in his entire life has anyone looked at him with such adoration.
And just like that, Naruto crumbles.
Hanzo does so much more than touch and kiss him that night. And gods, did it fucking hurt. He wanted to beg the man to stop, but Hanzo was whispering beautiful things in his ear the entire time, was so gentle when he wiped Naruto’s tears away.
The whole thing felt like it lasted hours, but it could have been minutes. Naruto’s shivering and aching when it’s over. The scent of blood and cum fills his nose, but Hanzo carefully cleans him up with a damp cloth, before holding him close and telling him softly how well he did. How good he was.
“I love you,” Hanzo had whispered at one point. That’s another first. Naruto can’t remember a time when anyone has told him that.
He can barely keep his eyes open after, fatigue winning the battle against consciousness. He falls asleep wondering if this is what it meant to be loved.