Chapter Text

PROLOGUE

Waking up is just another unfortunate event in Dean Winchester's life. When he closed his eyes the last time, it was supposed to be the last time he would open them, there was no reason for him to be on earth anymore, so what was the point of waking up again? His brother already had Eileen and Miracle with him, along with the promise of a wonderful future ahead of him, Sam could finally be happy and Dean could rest, he just wanted to rest, go to heaven or hell and live in blissful ignorance of memories or pain. All he wanted was to be in complete ignorance of memories, where he could spend eternity trapped in a late night conversation with Cass or having dinner with his family in the bunker.

Unfortunately, judging by the moldy ceiling he was staring at the moment, Dean highly doubts he was lucky enough to die, well, what can you do, right?

He sighs tiredly before sitting on the bed, Dean tests his movements, his body seems very soft, his movements are fluid, and he no longer feels the pains that came with old age and years of fighting. Without pain and without the feeling of peace, Dean certainly wasn't dead, he would know, but he wasn't home either. The room he woke up in seemed quite pleasant, if you compare it to the many worse places he's been before, of course. The air conditioning is freezing and providing him with a satisfying and comforting background noise, the windows have old curtains, but they seem very clean and cared for. The wallpaper is the ugliest thing he's ever seen, and it's totally something Jack and Cass would like, maybe Sam too, but his little brother has always been an idiot, I mean, seriously, who thinks floral prints are an acceptable choice for motel curtains?

He stands up somewhat unsteadily on his legs, there's no pain in his knees and no clothes on his body, Dean, for some reason, was only in his underwear. Thanks to his state of near-nudity, Dean was able to notice a few things about himself and the room he was in. First, there were no tattoos on his chest or scars on his body; second, his body seemed much more defined than it actually was, I mean, make no mistake, Dean was a forty-one-year-old man with a well-preserved body, but his muscles weren't as defined as they were when he was 20! Moving on from body observations, Dean noticed with a grimace that this room smelled like baby poop, and a very smelly baby, because not even Sammy had a sour smell like that when he was a baby. Another observation to be noted was the bed, there was only one, which meant that Dean was alone, there was also only one bag and, if his memory serves him right, the bag was one of the old ones he kept under the bed in his room in the bunker, which was strange, since the bag looked new and not old.

His eyes searched for more information, his legs refused to walk before he knew the danger he was in. There are three more bags on the floor next to the only table in the room and a nap in its center that Dean believes is the source of all the stench inside the room.

His first stop is the bags, all opened with the same caution as someone who intends to handle a bomb, each of the three suitcases contains something different; the first contains some family clothes, cards and fake IDs; the second contains firearms, silver knives, holy water and even some grenades - Dean makes sure to leave them all in a case where they won't struggle and explode if the bag moves too fast. The third leaves him confused, inside there is no bomb, curse or weapons, just baby clothes for both men and women -, baby bottle, diapers, talcum powder, wipes and a closed jar of powdered milk.

What the hell is going on? He thought, and his eyes wandered fearfully to the side to the basket that rested innocently on the table.

Dean squeezes his eyes shut and prays to any damn merciful entity that hears him that whatever is under the basket's thin covering is a stink bomb and not a baby.

Slowly he pulls the cloth away and golden eyes glow and fade as they look in his direction, Dean doesn't need to think too much about who they belong to, he already knows that baby's face well.

"Damn it, kid, what have you done?"

Jack's excited giggle isn't the answer Dean wanted, the flailing arms and the rotten smell give away the only thing the kid seems to be aware of to do. Dean wrinkles his nose, it seems that besides being lost he now has a baby with divine powers to clean, great.

Dean hesitates to pick Jack up, but forces himself to do so, and it feels good to do so. The weight feels right in his arms, but it also feels out of place, a perfect fit and an awkward size. He frowns at the baby who was once a young adult, then looks around again, searching for a clue as to what’s going on.

On the nightstand is an old-fashioned phone, one of those you don’t expect to see in 2020. Dean walks over and takes the phone off the charger.

- Thursday, January 10, 2002. - There’s a message from an unknown number that has only one piece of information – Witches’ Convent, Indianapolis.

He should have taken it as a suspicious text sent to the wrong person, but after he tries calling Sam and Eileen and gets no response from either of them, Dean freaks out and instead decides to just go ahead and head to Indianapolis. He gathers his things and only stops when he’s about to change Jack’s diaper.

In the pocket of his jeans that were on the floor, he finds Baby's keys and, as he leaves the motel room, he sees his car.

Good, at least you stayed the same, honey. It was his only thought full of relief as he opened Baby's trunk and put all his belongings inside.

"Okay, kid, I don't know where we are or how we got here, but it looks like we're on a good old time travel adventure, which means we're screwed and alone." Jack didn't answer, of course not, but he had the decency to laugh at Dean, which was good, at least one of them wasn't worried about the situation. "Sammy won't answer me and Eileen even less, so we're just going to throw ourselves into this hunt and hope everything works out, and we get answers, the good old Winchester way."

Jack yawned adorably and dozed on his chest, not paying a bit of attention to Dean's nervousness – although it was valid, after all, the boy was just a baby…

An unnatural shiver runs down Dean's spine and makes him tense, he frowns and searches his surroundings, hands going towards where one of his angelic blades should be, there is nothing around him and there is no more angel blade in his jacket either, shit!

He hugs Jack to his chest and goes to the motel receptionist.

"Check in." He suddenly says to the young woman behind the counter, she is a little startled by his sudden appearance, but Dean is nervous and wants to get out of that place as soon as possible. He hands over the motel key and pretends to be interested in what the girl says before asking for what he really wants. "Do you have any atlases or maps?"

The receptionist nods and goes to the back, coming out with a thick map and charging Dean six dollars. He pays in cash.

"Thanks... where exactly are we?" He should probably smile now, to play up his natural charm or just to seem more friendly, but he doesn't even think about it, it will probably take him a while to get used to doing that again, I mean, Dean was forty-five, he didn't flirt with women the same way he used to, his charm now was that of a funny father or uncle, not the charm of a possible date night.

The clerk frowns at him, probably wondering about his gruff way of speaking and the baby who was dozing in his arm.

"Pontiac."

That doesn't impress Dean, but he's not sure why, it was almost like, deep down, he already knew exactly where he was.

He smiled and thanked the girl. "Thanks honey, it helped a lot."

Back in the car, Dean opened the map until he found the motel where he was staying. He traced the routes and state highways with his fingers, moving north until he reached Indianapolis.

"Okay, good news kid, we're not lost, I know exactly where we are. All we have to do now is stop at the grocery store. You'll need a car seat to ride in the Baby." He explained, even though Jack was still asleep, Dean really needed to speak out loud, or he would go crazy.

Dean gets into the driver's seat and with his right hand he starts the car, his left hand remains holding Jack tightly against his chest. He doesn't know exactly how to proceed from now on, but he pulls out of the parking space, onto the lonely two-lane road and drives on, anyway, he will think about what to do later, after hunting down this witch convent, maybe it is a trap, but maybe he will get some answers from these witches.

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

NANNY AND NURSES

- Poltergeist, Connecticut. – That's what John Winchester's text to Dean Winchester said. John Winchester, the man who died years and years ago...

"Holy shit, why do these things only happen to me?"

Shortly after Dean arrived in Indianapolis, John texted and ignored all of Dean's questions about where he was and if they could meet up, all his father would say was that he'd been in Texas longer than expected and that Dean was old enough to fend for himself. Dean knows his father is being an idiot for ignoring his concern and desire to see him again, but it's nice that his father reminded him that he didn't need John, he never did.

- Yes, sir. – It's his usual programmed response, the automatic answer he always gave his father when they talked. Dean remembers that after Sam left for college, things had gotten tense between all of them. His brother had only grown more unhappy with his lifestyle as he got older; upset about their father moving them around the country, the way he wanted unquestioning loyalty without giving an explanation of what he was doing or where he was going, because he couldn't be their father. Dean had done his best to mediate, but they were both so stubborn, they'd always been so much alike. He remembered how he'd ended up giving Sam a ride to the Greyhound station after one last explosive argument where Sam had shoved his Stanford acceptance letter in John's face. Dean had never really understood Sam's desire for the apple pie life, but he understood how important it was to his little brother right now, and he'd do whatever he could to keep him happy for as long as possible. Their separate lives, though, were big problems now, because they'd left his little brother bitter and unwilling to call Dean, and he needed Sam to listen to him if he wanted to keep him safe and protected... His expression must have soured a little over the text exchange, because Jack looked ready to burst into tears. "No, no, no, it's okay, Jack, I'm not mad at you, honey, it's okay." Jack doesn't understand what Dean is saying, but the sound of the Winchester's voice seems to calm him down enough, Dean makes a few faces to make the boy laugh, just in case, he didn't want to hear a baby crying first thing in the morning.

Taking care of Jack is a strange experience. While the boy reminds Dean of Sam as a baby, they also have nothing in common. While Sam was a happy baby who only cried when he was hungry, Jack cried for everything and anything; Sam wasn't afraid of loud noises or bright lights, maybe because of everything that happened with Mary, Dean doesn't know, but Jack was afraid, loud noises triggered the baby's pitiful cries, turning on the light or opening the window in the morning also seemed to scare the boy; Sam wore whatever diaper or clothes John or Dean put on him, but Jack didn't. Some clothes seemed to bother the baby. The same went for the diapers. Dean had to spend hours choosing the softest diapers or clothes with the most comfortable fabrics so that Jack wouldn't cry.

Dean sighs and sits on the bed next to where Jack is lying and squirming excitedly.

"Hey, kiddo," Jack laughs at the attention. Dean lies down next to him, trying to think of what to do next.

They were staying at a two-star motel, a Super 8, on East Southport Road. It was a pretty basic place, but still a little expensive. Dean decided to spend a little more just to avoid the risk of Jack getting sick from any mold or dirt in the rooms. There was one time when Sammy had spent days sneezing due to mold exposure, and Dean didn't want to risk letting Jack go through that at such a young age.

The mysterious number didn't send any more messages after the last one, but it wasn't necessary, Dean recognized some signs of witchcraft as soon as he entered the city, luckily he didn't have to search every corner, he fell straight into the convent of magical bitches, all he needed now was a plan and a babysitter. Luckily, there's a phone book on the nightstand, and he manages to find a young woman who needs money and is willing to babysit on a Saturday morning.

The phone in the room rings to tell him about young Miriam, Dean asks to be let out and hangs up.

"Okay, kid, your babysitter is here, I made some devil's traps with chalk right next to the door, put holy water in all the drinks in the fridge and put salt on the window. As long as you don't act suspicious, the girl will think we're just two normal guys, capiche?" He asks, looking at the baby. They're both serious and looking into each other's eyes, but Jack can't keep his expression for long because he soon starts laughing and touching Dean's face with his chubby little hands. It's so cute and brings back so many memories that Dean's heart hurts a little.

There was a knock on the door, and Dean held Jack in one arm before checking the peephole and opening it for the young woman.

"Good morning, are you Mr. Winchester?" She looked a little surprised, she looked like a college student, maybe in her 20s or 22s, blonde and brown eyes, she reminded Dean of Claire, she seemed like a nice girl.

"It's me, thank you for agreeing to take care of my son so early, I really can't take him with me. Seriously, I really appreciate it."

"Oh, sure, no problem." She seemed a little blushed at the thanks and even looked away, she seemed like a nice girl, but Dean really needed to go now, so he handed Jack to her and picked up one of his bags without looking too much.

"There's milk in the fridge, it needs to be cold, otherwise the boy won't drink it, if he needs to be changed he needs to use the diaper from the big package, not the small one, he doesn't like the texture of the diaper from the small package, his bath needs to be at three in the afternoon, he refuses to take a bath at any other time. "Jack is usually very quiet and peaceful, just don't make loud noises or open the windows, noises and lights bother him, if he starts crying a lot, put some static on the radio, and he'll calm down." He instructed, already turning to leave, Jack extended his little hand to Dean, but he needed to go, so he forced himself to ignore the boy. "See you later Jack, good luck, Miriam."

“I should have changed it to Old Tom, that’s what I always told them.” Nurse Joyce said for the fifth time since they woke up. “Henry’s a good man, but he still shouldn’t be allowed to drive a truck by himself, I mean, he never knows when to stop and rest, you know?” They nodded, though they didn’t understand, this seemed to please the nurse, because she continued talking as she slowly unwrapped the bandages where they had injured themselves.

“You seem very competent at your job, I’m very grateful for your help.” Joyce just waved her hand, dismissing the thanks.

“Okay, let’s see how your arm is, honey, you really must be very lucky, because getting hit by a truck isn’t for everyone…” She hesitated as the bandages were removed. “What…”

“Is something wrong?”

“Yes… I mean, no! But there must be something wrong, honey, your arm was wrecked when you came to my clinic.” They look at his arm, and it looks fine, they test his legs, and they look fine too. Great, they were trying to get out of there anyway.

"Wait, sir, where are you going?" Joyce tries to stop him, but they don't need to stay there anymore, they try to thank her and move away, but she still insists on pushing them back to the bed, and it's very annoying.

"If I'm better now, I don't need to stay here, there's no reason." He explained, managing to get away from Joyce, but more nurses arrived to hold him against his will.

"Sir, you don't even have anywhere to go, please stay until we figure out what to do with you." One of the nurses holding him spoke, her voice seemed soft, but they realized it sounded more like a growl, she was angry for some reason.

"I appreciate your concern, but I really want to leave." They still don't know where they are going or who they are, but there is an unsettling feeling in the room, they didn't realize until there were so many nurses in one place.

Something stung their necks, and they turned to Nurse Joyce, knocking everyone else down in the process. Joyce had a syringe with a colored liquid inside and was smiling pleased with herself, but when they turned to her the smile disappeared.

"Why did you do that?" They asked, approaching her.

"What are you?" Was the answer they received.

More stings hit their bodies, some on their necks and others on their shoulders, when they turned they noticed that all the other nurses were holding syringes, this did not seem like normal behavior for nurses. Their bodies began to feel heavy and weak, they did not think it was normal to feel this way, in fact, many things in their bodies did not seem normal or right, but now there was really something wrong.

Their vision went black, and they do not remember what happened after that, only that the voice calling for Cass was back, but this time it did not ask questions or call for anyone, it just said "Holy shit".

Chapter Text

HOLY POOP

“What do you mean I can’t visit my brother?”

The receptionist across the desk shrugs indifferently.

“I’m sorry, but the nurses have specified that no patients at this clinic are allowed to have visitors, their motto is that everyone deserves absolute confidentiality, they’re more like a refuge for fugitives from abusive situations than a hospital where anyone can walk in.” She frowns a little and adds, “And to be quite honest, you seem a little strange to me, I mean, you came in after hanging around our clinic and gave me a name that’s not even on our records…”

“That’s because my brother arrived recently, I told you…”

“The only person who has arrived recently was a man of about 28 years old, and he was hit by a truck, I’m sorry, but you two don’t look like brothers to me. Anyway, I’m really sorry, but I can’t let you pass.”

Dean frowns, his plan to infiltrate the possible convent seems to be going down the drain, he forgot that it was harder to lie without having wrinkles to support the fact that you had ‘forgotten’ your own fake brother’s name, in his defense, he hasn’t looked like a boy band kid in a long time.

“Listen here, honey.” The woman crossed her arms, she was determined not to let him pass. Dean leaned on the table that separated the two, discreetly his hand slid to the gun he had hidden in the waistband of his pants. “I’m just going to go in and out, it won’t even take me ten minutes.”

The blonde smiled and brought her face closer to his, she gave off a strong flowery scent and looked very hot the more Dean looked at her.

“I don’t think so, sir, actually, you and I should go out and do something else, what do you think?” She bit her red lips and fixed her gaze on Dean’s eyes.

He just smiled. There were many mirrors around the waiting room, there were also huge vases of flowers and some scented candles, the whole clinic seemed designed to exude peace and tranquility, with its pastel-colored walls and white furniture. None of this was a sign of witchcraft, it could just be the style that rich people liked, but the fact that the smell of the flowers was strong and there were no windows or ventilation, this could mean that there was a charm spell and that there was a witch nearby, in this case, right in front of him.

“You know, honey, I'm old and tired, the last few years have been shit, and I just want to get back to my family as soon as possible.” He pulls out his gun and points it at the receptionist's forehead. “It's nothing personal, you know?”

She can't react when the iron bullet explodes her skull, her body falls and the spell is undone, the clinic finally shows its true rotten and disgusting appearance. These witches must be newbies, he knows Rowena would be disgusted by the state of this place, honestly, just because they're witches doesn't mean they have to be dirty!

"Okay, let's finish the job." Luckily he didn't want to risk his own life and was smart enough to bring a few gallons of oil, the place would burn down in no time, he just needed to make sure the patients were all dead.

It hadn't been hard to find the clinic, there had been reports of men and women going missing around town, Dean interviewed two families before understanding what was going on. Apparently, no one in town remembers the clinic unless it's mentioned recently, or they see the building. Some reported that their wives and daughters suddenly disappeared after running away with their friends and some women said that their husbands were a drunkard and ran away with their mistresses, Dean's best theory was that the women became part of the convent and the men were sacrificed for some spell.

There were many rooms, but all of them were empty or with names scratched out, Dean left a trail of oil in each of them. Only on the second floor was there a room that seemed to be in use.

Silently he peeked through the door and saw a group of nurses trying to restrain a man, one of them managed to inject a needle into his neck, perhaps to knock the man down, but it seemed it didn't work, because her smile disappeared when he turned around.

"Why did you do that?"

Dean couldn't pay attention after that.

There's no way it could be him, he would have already come if it was, it must be just a coincidence, right? He thought with his heart pounding against his chest, there was no way the witches' patient could be Cass, right? Cass was dead...

But it was him, it was Cass, the other nurses gave the angel their own injections and finally managed to knock him out.

"Holy shit!"

It wasn't a good idea to say that out loud. All the magical bitches turned towards him and Dean had to be quick and shoot them in the head, four were dead before the gun needed to reload.

"Fuck!" He ran away from the room, knowing it was only a matter of time before one of those pests reached him. He took the bag off his shoulder and opened it, expecting to see ammunition and grenades, maybe even other weapons, but no, instead of weapons, all he had were dirty diapers that he had to keep in the bag, so the Impala wouldn't stink, talcum powder and two or three pieces of clothing that he planned to throw away since the fabric wasn't to Jack's liking. "Holy shit, hell!"

His body was thrown against the wall at the end of the hallway, and the last five witches left the room to stand in front of him. In a quick thought, Dean grabbed the closest dirty diaper and threw it at the black-haired witch's face, she was the youngest of the magical bitches and didn't have a good reaction time to protect herself from the diaper's stinky attack, Dean didn't expect anything to happen other than an exclamation of disgust at being hit by baby poop, but it was a pleasant surprise when the witch's skin started to melt, and she started to scream.

"What's happening!?" "What did he do!" "What is this!?" The bitches looked terrified, honestly Dean did too, mainly because he had messed with that diaper without knowing the risk he was taking, but he didn't have time to stay and watch what they would do next. Without thinking much, he grabbed the other two diapers and threw them at the witches' heads, hitting only one and the other was dodged. Now there were only three magical bitches and Dean didn't give them time to react, he threw talcum powder in their faces and rubbed the last diaper on the face of the one closest to him, the other two he slammed their heads on the floor and watched them pass out while he heard the screams of pain of those who were hit by the apparently deadly poop. "Okay, that was literally the creepiest shit I've ever seen." He says to himself as he carefully dodges the melted remains of the dead witches, it was a creepy sight and Dean knows he would have to research this later, but first he needed to take care of something, or rather, someone more important.

"Cass?" He called out as he entered the room, but his angel was no longer lying on the floor. Could it have all been a hallucination? Dean was no stranger to hallucinating Cass, especially after losing him again. “Damn it!”

His eyes burned, he wanted to cry, but he didn’t have time, he needed to burn the place and the rest of the magical bitches before they woke up.

He went back to the hallway and picked up the bag from the floor, finished pouring the gallons of oil on the bodies of the last survivors, and then turned to leave.

“Hello.”

Dean stopped, that voice, he recognized that voice.

I love you, Dean.

“Cass.”

It was him, it was Castiel in all his angelic glory, well, kind of, he looked different, younger, or at least the shell of him looked younger, his hair was as messy as ever, and he wasn’t wearing a trench coat, just simple black pants and a button-down shirt that looked huge on him. Still, Dean didn’t think he’d ever seen the angel look more beautiful.

“Excuse me, but do we know each other?”

Chapter Text

THEY

“Cass, it’s me...” The man repeats for the second time, his eyes widening as he stares at them, they had no idea who this man could be, but the voice was familiar. “Cass...” The voice is deep, very similar to the voice they heard before, but so different, despite both sounding full of emotion and desperation, it lacked the husky tone that the voice had, the man in front of him had a much softer tone than it should have.

“We should leave.” They said without taking their eyes off the nurses’ bodies. Killing was wrong, but it seemed right that the nurses were dead, it seemed right, because even without knowing this green-eyed man, he seemed sure, he seemed fair. “We’ll talk later, you have work to finish, and I don’t want to stay in here anymore.”

The man frowns, but doesn’t argue, the two run down the hallway, and they’re almost certain they’ve seen this scene before, maybe it was déjà vu? That’s what they called it, right?

“Wait a minute, I’ll light this place, and we can leave.” He explained, lighting the lighter and bringing the flames closer to the oil trail.

They watched patiently, waiting to see what this man would do. It was strange, as if watching the man was the most interesting thing in the whole world. They could spend hours just watching this mysterious man talk or walk. It was a good feeling, but also strange. They didn’t know who or what they were. Maybe they were dangerous, and this man was confusing him with someone else. What was his name again? Cass? Maybe he was confusing them with this Cass.

In a few minutes, the entire building was burning, and soon this would attract people’s attention. They needed to leave. The man gestured for him to follow him to a black car, and with no other options, they went, sat in the passenger seat, and turned to watch the landscape passing by the car window. There was a couple running together away from the burning building, two stray dogs and an ice cream truck, the ice cream man was smoking outside but had to put out his cigarette when the fire in the building became too obvious.

“So…” The man started interrupting their observations, they didn’t care and turned to focus their gaze on the man. “Playing patient? Because you were in the clinic, I mean, I know your healing isn’t as good as it used to be, but…”

“I got hit by a truck.” That seemed to shut the man up, who choked on air.

“Huh!? And are you okay? How…”

“I was walking down the street and I heard you calling for someone named Cass, unfortunately your voice was a distraction and I just didn’t notice the truck.”

The man looked very confused now, that was good, because they too felt confused about whom this man was and why his voice was in their heads?

“You really don’t remember me?”

They shake their heads and look back out the window, oblivious to the hurt look on the human's face.

"Well, I'm Dean Winchester, and you're my friend, your name is Castiel, you're a... you were..." Dean stutters, hesitant, but they turn to Dean, curious and full of questions that need answers.

"If I'm Cass, then what am I?" Dean opens his mouth to answer, but they still have questions. "Am I a man or a woman? Why does my body feel weird? I hear your voice in my head, but I don't know why, is that my ability or am I crazy? Do I like coffee? I tried some of what the nurses offered me, but I don't know if I liked it or not. What about my family? Do I have one, or am I an orphan like the bat boy who lost his parents in the alley?"

There was no answer, Dean seemed paralyzed and couldn't think of anything to answer Cass's questions, which was strange, since the man had just said that they were friends and that they knew each other.

“Uh…” Cass looked closer at the man, eager for answers. “I… I'm sorry, man, I'm a little confused by you, I don't think I've ever heard you talk so much before.”

They tilted their heads, it was a common form of body language to indicate their confusion, they had seen many nurses do this to each other and even on TV too.

The man cleared his throat and took a deep breath, the car stopped for a red light, and Cass had Dean's full attention directed exclusively at him.

“Okay, to answer your questions in order, I believe you are a man, your body is certainly that of a man, why it seems strange I have no idea, you should be the one to know. As for you hearing my voice in your head, I'd say it's the remnants of some memories coming back, or maybe you can hear some of my prayers for you. About the coffee, I'm not really sure... I mean, you usually only drink what I drink, I was rarely at breakfast, so I don't have an answer for you." The light turned green and they started moving again. "As for family, well, your blood family or... well, I don't know, they were a bunch of jerks, there were some nice ones, but not like you. Anyway, it's not like you needed them, you know family doesn't end in blood and all that emotional crap..."

Cass didn't understand much of what was said, what did Dean mean by their body being that of a man? Wasn't their soul that of a man, just their body? Why would they be hearing prayers, or rather asking why would anyone pray for them? Was Cass a bad person? Dean was their gentle companion who prayed for them to be better people, like they saw wives doing for their husbands in a TV commercial? Why didn’t Cass drink coffee? Why wasn’t their family with them, and what did Dean mean by ‘blood and all that crap’?

The other man cleared his throat—apparently Cass was a man too.

“Where did you come from, anyway?”

He frowned and narrowed his eyes. “I thought you knew where, I thought you knew me.”

Dean laughed, he had a beautiful laugh.

“If I told you came from heaven, would you believe me?”

“I’ve been here almost two days, I’ve had better flirtations.”

The car screeched to a halt at another light, Dean turned around to give him his attention again.

“Huh? From who?”

Cass shrugged, uninterested.

“The girls at the clinic, the guy in the truck too, they were all really nice.”

Dean drives again, this time he only walks a little and then turns the wheel and enters the parking lot of a building with a huge sign.

“If the bitches – sorry – the nurses, were so ‘nice’ and you don’t remember me, then why did you come with me? I mean, I could be a total fuckup!?” He asks, parking the car and getting out, Cass follows him.

“You just seemed safe, that’s all.”

“That doesn’t make any sense, my angel.” The nickname makes Cass frown, being called an angel seems wrong.

Dean opens the door for Cass, and when the door closes, he locks the car.

“Where are we?”

“Motel, Jack is with me, I left him with a babysitter.”

Cass doesn't know who Jack is, but if it's the powerful energy that's sending shivers down his spine, he doesn't know if he's ready to meet him.

"Hey, Cass, aren't you coming?" He asked, gesturing to the building. Cass wanted to follow the man, but he didn't feel ready to do so, not yet.

"I..." He took a deep breath. "I appreciate your help, Dean."

The Winchester walked back to him, but Cass took a few steps back. If Dean touched him at that moment, all his determination to leave would disappear.

"Why does this sound like goodbye?"

This is the second time you've asked me that. He thought with a pain in his chest. He didn't need to remember who Dean Winchester was to know that there was a bond between them.

"No... it's not goodbye, I just..." He looked at the building. There was a lot of power emanating from there. Cass had felt it since he woke up this morning, but it was so far away that he managed to ignore it. But now? Now it was so close that it was calling to him, begging him to come closer, to go to the source, but Cass couldn't, he wasn't ready for that yet. "Sorry, Dean, but I'm not ready."

His answer confused and hurt the Winchester, but Cass was scared, the source of power that called to him was calling him father and that was a terrifying thought, especially when you don't even know what or who you are.

"Where are you going?" Dean asked, his voice cold now, unlike the emotion-filled voice of a minute ago. If it weren't for the bright eyes, Cass would have believed he had angered the other man.

"I'm not sure. I feel like I'm needed somewhere, I'll let my feet take me where I need to go."

Dean laughed, he didn't sound amused, but he seemed in a better mood than before.

"Hippie talk, Cass, do you really plan on walking across the state just because of a feeling?" He pauses, hesitating before answering, but finally nods, that's exactly what he intended to do.

"I guess I'll see you around, Dean."

"But..." He stutters and tries to grab Cass's hand to stop him from leaving, fortunately or not, Cass is faster and manages to pull away with the pain in his chest from Dean's hurt look. "At least... at least take some money, Cass, you need shelter and food..."

You can't stay here, Cass. It's too dangerous for you and for us.

His brow furrows in pain at those words spoken in Dean's voice, he wants to question the reason, understand what purpose he has if not to be by the Winchester's side, but he doesn't question it, because he knows the answer, none, Cass had no purpose without Dean Winchester, and that needs to change.

"I don't want anything from you." Dean steps back and his hand falls limply to his side, it's like watching a robot shut down. "Goodbye, Dean."

And he left the parking lot without looking back and without daring to listen to Dean's call that sounded so painful to Cass, it hurt him, but he needed to leave, he felt it, maybe, after he resolved himself, he would go back to Dean and finally get closer to meet that powerful creature who called him father.

Chapter Text

RAGE

“Hello, Mr. Winchester, you…” Miriam, the babysitter, is silent, Dean doesn’t say a single word to the young woman, just hands her a wad of cash and sits on the bed with his face in his hands.

The babysitter seems to get the hint, because in less than a minute the door opens and closes, and then Dean is finally alone with only a baby to witness his emotions.

It was almost like the last time, Cass came back and left, but unlike the last time when the angel had no choice, he left of his own free will this time. Preferring to cross the entire state on foot instead of accepting any help from Dean.

It was an impulse, really, he didn’t want to do it, it wasn’t on purpose, but Dean grabbed the closest chair he could find and threw it against the wall, causing several pieces of wood to scatter across the floor and fly into the air. Jack screamed in terror at the noise and Dean regretted his actions immediately.

“Jack?” The boy was curled up on the floor, where he was playing with an empty cookie box, tears in his little blue eyes and using his hands to cover his ears. His little body was shaking all over, both from fear and from sobs. Jack was scared, the boy who had faced God and the Devil, was scared, scared of Dean...

"I'm sorry..." he whispered, afraid to raise his voice and scare the boy even more. "I'm sorry..."

He didn't try to get closer until Jack stopped shaking and fell asleep, Dean wouldn't want to traumatize the baby by forcing unwanted proximity.

As soon as Jack slept peacefully in bed, Dean went to the bedroom balcony and leaned against the large balcony to get some air, calm down, try not to think too much about how much of his horrible temper was Cass's fault for leaving and Jack's fault for now being afraid of him.

It was almost midnight when his phone rang and took his derogatory thoughts out of his mind.

"Hello" He answered without seeing who the call was from.

- How's the case going? - Dean rolled his eyes, it was his father, he didn't even remember that the man had sent him on a case.

"I'm fine, thanks for asking, anyway, I haven't been able to go to Connecticut yet." Silence on the other end of the line, Dean held his breath, he shouldn't have said that.

- Why? - It was the only word John said.

Dean stepped away from the large balcony, assuming a more upright position and keeping his head high before answering.

"I had some problems to solve, nothing serious, just..." He stopped himself from continuing, John would go crazy if he knew that Dean was hunting not one, but an entire coven of witches.

- Just what, Dean? Stop hesitating, I didn't raise you like that, boy! -

"Sorry, sir." It came out automatically and left a bitter taste on his tongue, Dean hated how his body seemed programmed to follow his father's tone of voice.

- So what? What were you hunting? – He asked, starting to sound impatient.

“Just a ghost haunting an abandoned hospital, Dad, I was around and…”

- Just stop getting distracted and go to Connecticut, I wouldn’t ask you to go if it wasn’t urgent! – Dean bites his lip to keep from answering petulantly, yes, sometimes they were urgent, but other times they were just contacts John made and needed a hunter who could take care of them, as if John owned a company and sent his employee to take care of the little inconveniences on his behalf.

“Yes sir, I’m sorry, sir.” He tried to sound sarcastic, but he couldn’t, his voice came out firm, but serious, there was no mockery in his tone, just a soldier answering to his captain.

The weight of the phone in his hand is unsettling, looking at the list of numbers on his phone is unsettling. There are only two people registered, J.W. for John Winchester and the unknown number, not even Sam's number was saved, all because, after the 2000s, Dean gave up trying to reconnect with his brother, Sam made it very clear that he didn't want anything to do with him anymore. His phone was as pathetic as Dean felt.

I don't want anything from you.

He laughed, there was no way not to laugh, I mean, Dean was ridiculous! He was pushed away by his father, his brother, by his mother when she was alive, and now by the only person who never took him away.

You're a murderer, Dean. Chuck's voice says, God's voice says he's a murderer, and who is he to doubt?

You're a good man, Dean, you deserve good things.

"Good man, as if..." He mumbles to himself, he doesn't want to be angry at his own thoughts, at his own memories of what Cass used to say to him, but Dean does, he gets angry because that Cass said the nicest things to him and then left, the Cass who made Dean believe he was a good man despite what God judged, that Castiel is gone, he doesn't remember Dean anymore and from the looks of it he doesn't even want to have anything to do with him. And who could blame the angel? Dean was his downfall, he was what everyone lost, it was thanks to his love for Dean that Castiel died… It was already past three in the morning, Dean needed to check on Jack, but he didn't want to go in, he still wanted to hit, kick and scream, he wanted to hurt, because that was all he knew how to do, hurt people and himself.

His fist collides with the balcony railing, it's made of iron, but it gets crooked after Dean hits it, that doesn't make him feel better. If anything, it makes you feel worse. He hits it again, and again, hits it until the damn railing is so crooked it looks like rubble, but still nothing changes and Dean still doesn't feel better.

Although his emotional state doesn't change, something does, but it has nothing to do with him, but with Jack. Inside the room, Jack starts to cry, he was probably woken up by Dean and his irrational anger, anger that disappears to make room for concern.

"Jack?" He goes back into the room only to not see the baby anywhere on the bed, his heart races and his breathing becomes shallow. "Jack? Jack!?"

The boy isn't lying next to or under the bed, nor is he in plain sight in the room, but his cries can still be heard.

"Baby!?" Dean runs into the kitchen and the cries get louder, he looks under the table, inside the cabinets and even inside his gun bag that he irresponsibly left lying on the floor where a baby could have gotten to it. Still, there's no sign of Jack, but the cries continue loudly. "Baby? Where are you, kid, please..." Something pings in his head a few times before Dean dares to look, he slowly bends down towards his bag and opens it to pull out a pistol. His hands unlock the safety of the pistol, and he slowly raises his head to shoot whatever it is that broke in and took his son.

Imagine his surprise when the supposed monster is actually just a baby with wings.

"What the fuck..."

Chapter Text

ALONE

There was a note stuck to the fridge, not much written on it, just a brief warning ‘Mr. Winchester, Jack has been crying all day, I think he has colic, you might want to take him to the pediatrician. ’ It was a sweet note, Dean was truly grateful that she was concerned about Jack, but he would be even more grateful if the note had told him that his baby had sprouted wings!

“Fuck!” His frustration causes his anger to return, and he slams his fist against the kitchen wall, which is not a good idea since it only serves to scare the flying baby even more. Luckily, the boy’s terrified cry brings Dean back to reality and reminds him to swallow his feelings and focus on what was most important at the moment. “Oh no, no, no. Shhh, it's okay kid, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, Shhh…

Dean has a hard time catching the boy, as Jack's wings continue to flap wildly, and he doesn't seem to have any control over when he goes up or down, it's only when he uses a chair and a blanket that Jack finally comes down.

Using the chair to get higher and the blanket as a net, Dean manages to trap Jack's wings enough to lower the boy into his arms.

Jack struggles against the blanket, Dean hates himself for scaring the baby even more, but it's worth it when he manages to wrap Jack and the wings tightly enough for the baby to stay still – amazingly this seems to make Jack more comfortable than uncomfortable, although he's still sniffling and looking at Dean with wide eyes, as if asking to be comforted.

"Are you in pain?" He asks without expecting an answer, surprisingly Jack responds by waving, it's a scene that's both adorable and heartbreaking at the same time, because there's nothing Dean can do to help Jack's pain go away.

It reminds him of the first time Sam broke his arm, a ghost was haunting the motel where they were alone, and it attacked Sam while he was sleeping, luckily daddy got there in time, so nothing worse could happen, unfortunately Sam broke his arm and cried all night in pain, he cried until Dean gave him a kiss where it hurt...

Hmm, it doesn't hurt to try. He thought before bending down and placing a kiss on Jack's forehead, it seemed to calm or confuse the baby enough to make him stop crying. "It's a healing kiss." He explained to the curious little eyes that were watching him intently. "I used to do this for my little brother when we were little, it helps the pain go away." The baby exclaims a soft 'ahhh' as ​​if he had understood everything that was said to him, Dean holds the boy against his chest and little by little Jack begins to blink slowly, until he finally cuddles up and falls asleep.

With Jack asleep and the adrenaline slowly leaving his system, Dean finally takes a deep breath and sits exhausted on the bed, what was he going to do now? First Cass died, then Dean died but came back and was now living in 2002 and creating god, then Cass came back but with no memory, then he abandoned Dean again, breaking his heart, now Jack had wings and everything seemed like a big conspiracy against Dean's happiness...

His chest tightened, and his breathing began to get faster again, he tries to calm himself, to focus on the feeling of having Jack in his arms still alive, still breathing, still there. It wasn't working, and his hands were starting to shake, suddenly he no longer felt anger or sadness, only pain and fear.

The walls seemed to be closing in, cornering Dean as if they planned to suffocate him.

“Breathe, Winchester, breathe…” He murmured to himself, trying desperately to stay calm and in control. He had already messed up more than enough for today. He had scared the boy twice, broken a chair and a railing. He didn’t need to do anything else by panicking! Tears began to stream down his face, silent but painful. His eyes closed. He didn’t want to look at Jack, at everything the boy meant. Jack didn’t deserve Dean’s anger, but his mind insisted on blaming the boy. After all, who else was powerful enough to do all this? To take him back to the past and bring Castiel back from the void, even without his memories. Dean felt horrible for wanting to yell at a baby, for wanting to demand answers from someone who couldn’t even talk to him and who would only get scared again.

Panic took over his body, and he began to shake. Every breath was a struggle, every beat of his heart a painful reminder that he was still alive. His eyes fluttered open, searching for someone who wasn't there to help calm him, searching for his brother or his angel, anyone who could hold him back to reality. Unfortunately, there was no one, just a still-sleeping baby who couldn't do anything to help Dean... He was completely alone.

Shaking, he forced himself to stand up and walked to the bed, it was better to leave Jack there before Dean dropped the baby. He felt like he was losing his sanity, everything was spiraling out of his control, Jack wouldn't be safe with Dean until the Winchester was able to fix his problems, and believe me, he had a lot of problems.

Sammy would know what to do now… It’s the first sane thought he can think of, but it’s quickly dismissed, his little brother was only 18, maybe 19, and he was living happily and healthily away from all the supernatural shit that wanted to kill him, Dean couldn’t just show up at his brother’s house with a biblical baby and ask for help.

“Damn it…” He mumbled breathlessly and still unable to calm himself down enough to stop shaking. “Come on, Winchester, who else can you ask for help? Cass is gone, so who else… who else could…”

A scream of frustration catches in his throat, he doesn’t want to get angry, he can’t get angry.

It’ll scare the kid, he thinks, it’ll push the kid away from you, he repeats it like a mantra in his mind.

His lip bleeds, but Dean doesn’t scream, his hand clenches until his knuckles turn white, but Dean refuses to slam his fist against the wall.

His forehead rests against the wall, and he closes his eyes and forces himself to breathe, he thinks of his father's voice telling him to stay calm, stop crying and be strong, Dean needed to pull himself together, he needed to stay calm!

Breathe, kid. John's voice repeats in his mind, Dean hated it when his father spoke to him like that. Take a deep breath, Winchester! What will happen to your brother and you if every time things go wrong you start freaking out!

"I'm calm, sir..." It was a lie.

Are you lying to me, son!?

"No sir, I'm calm!" He muttered through his teeth, his eyes still closed and his father's serious face fixed in his memory.

So breathe, kid, calm down and tell me, what are you going to do now?

"I... I..."

Hurry up, Winchester!

"I'm going to... I'm going to calm down, and think about my next move, sir." He replied when he finally felt his breathing return to normal.

Great, son, you're okay, kid, I'm here…

Dean opened his eyes and pushed John's voice away from his thoughts, because no, his father wasn't there, he was never there, not when Dean needed him, it was always Bobby who was there…

"Oh" He sighed. "It's 2002… it's still only 2002…"

He picked up his phone and dialed a number he thought he would never dial again.

Chapter Text

HELLO BOBBY, IT´S ME, DEAN WINCHESTER.

“Come on, pick up, pick up...” Dean begged into the phone as he paced back and forth in his room. It was already the fifth call he had made, and Bobby still hadn’t answered. Maybe he was busy, maybe he was sleeping. Dean didn’t know, but whatever had happened wasn’t doing anything good for his anxiety.

A beep sounded, and then the dear, gruff voice rang out: - Who is it? What do you want? -

Dean’s heart stuttered a beat, and he had to swallow another scream to escape his throat, this time, however, it was a scream of happiness.

“Hey...” He stammered breathlessly. “Bobby, it’s me...” He didn’t know how, but now he was crying and smiling at the same time. “It’s me, Dean Winchester.”

There was silence and then: - You idiot, why didn’t you say so before? What’s wrong with your voice, are you crying!? -

Dean sobs in anguish, it was good to hear Bobby again, it was a relief, actually, but it was still so painful, so cruel, he had seen Bobby a while ago, but he was a completely different man than the father Dean lost thanks to the Leviathans, but this... this man who is calling him an idiot while looking worried, this was his Bobby, this was his father.

“Bobby, I... I need help.”

- Yeah, but I've known that since I met you. - Despite the joke, his voice is serious. - Where are you? I can send someone or I can come over. -

It was a tempting proposal, Dean doesn't know how he's going to strap Jack into the car seat, but he can't accept it, seeing Bobby would be wonderful, but it would be like poking an old wound with a hot iron, Dean needed time to comfort himself before going to meet a dead man, the car ride would be the time he needed.

"No, I don't..." Dean calms down and takes a deep breath, he can't let his panic return. "I wanted to come to you, if you don't mind... please." His voice trailed off as he spoke, afraid of receiving another rejection so soon after the last one.

- Are you an idiot? - Dean felt his eyes burn as he waited for a negative answer. - Of course you can come, kid, what a stupid question!-

The Winchester couldn't help but laugh, not a happy laugh, but one of relief.

"Thanks, seriously, I... I really need help..." He hesitated. "Bobby, before I go over there, I... I know it's been a while since I've called or spoken to you, but I need you to do me a favor..."

It was humiliating, in 2002 Dean wouldn't even talk to Bobby, still afraid that the old hunter was mad at him because of the rude way John had left the last time they saw each other. Dean needed help, but he felt pathetic, having to ask a favor from the man he hadn't spoken to back then.

- Just tell me what you need, idiot, I don't have my whole life to wait for you to say it, an old man needs to sleep too, you know? -

The bad-tempered joke manages to get a smile out of Dean and relax him enough to continue.

“Okay, so, I... I'm taking someone special with me, someone important and someone I love very much, but...” His eyes search Jack in bed, the baby still sleeping and tightly attached to his wings and the tattered blue blanket. “Well...”

- No problem, bring your girlfriend here, I promise not to scare her too much with all my tests. -

Dean smiled nostalgically despite the tears that were still streaming down his face.

“Well, actually, Bobby, it's not a girlfriend, it's a little more surprising...”

- I always knew, boyfriend then. -

His cheeks got hot, but Dean laughed out loud this time, he held back a little so as not to wake Jack, but he managed to feel better for being able to laugh.

“Maybe I’ll introduce you to him if I can make amends, but no, it’s not really a boyfriend or girlfriend, it’s something… someone a little more surprising…” Bobby seemed more cautious now, Dean could tell by the soft ‘hmm’ the old hunter let out. “It’s not anyone dangerous, just unexpected, please don’t do anything until I explain everything to you…”

There was a sigh on the other end of the line, but Bobby nodded: - Okay, I'll be waiting for you then. -

“Okay…” Dean wasn't ready to say goodbye, but he needed to, so he did. “See you later… Bobby.”

- Goodbye, kid. -

When the phone hung up it was as if all the tiredness hit Dean at once, his anger, his sadness, his fear, everything was gone and only exhaustion was left, he needed to sleep, but he didn't feel right sleeping in the same room where so many bad emotions were felt at once, Dean longed for safety, to feel at home, so he took Baby's keys and gently picked Jack up.

“Shh… shh, it's okay.” He whispered, rocking the baby gently, he didn't want to wake Jack, but he couldn't leave the boy alone.

Dean locked the bedroom door and went down to the parking lot, his car was the furthest from the entrance, even though there were hardly any guests at the motel. She looked divine, illuminated by the dim light from the streetlamp. Dean loved that car, loved how she could protect him and keep him calm.

“Hey Baby, I missed you.” It hadn’t been that long since he’d been in the car, but it had been a long time since he’d been home, so instead of sitting in the front seat, he sat in the back.

“We’re going to be okay, Jack, we’re going to be okay…” It was a false promise, Dean couldn’t promise that they would be okay, but he could dream that they would, dream that everything would be better now that he could call for help. “We’re going to be okay.”

His eyes closed, and he fell asleep with Jack’s soft weight on his chest. For a moment, it was almost like going back to his childhood, when John slept in the front seat with a shotgun by his side, ready to keep his children safe, and Dean slept in the back seat with Sam on his chest, feeling safe enough to fall asleep, unafraid of the monsters that lived in the dark…

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

BOBBY!

“Okay, Jack, the easy part was letting Bobby know I was leaving, now we need to get through the hard part.” Dean explained to the baby as he cleaned up the divine mess the boy had made, Jack was lying under the blanket that had been used to keep his wings still and was incredibly quiet for someone who was crying so much. “The hard part is going to be convincing the guy not to kill you…”

Jack stares at him blankly, he’s still half asleep from the trip and Dean thanks God… not really, anyway, Dean is grateful that the boy is tired enough to stay quiet while Dean is messing with his diaper, he didn’t want to turn to dust for messing with angel shit or whatever, he didn’t even know God pooped!

“Anyway, you’re going to have to be cute, baby, the cutest of them all, we need to convince an old hunter that you, little antichrist, are safe to live in the world.” It was supposed to sound like a joke, but it came out a little desperate instead of humorous. “Heh, easy, huh?”

The baby blinked slowly, in that strange way Cass used to do, a little hand reached up and grabbed one of the tips of his wings, they were beautiful wings, with shiny, soft rose gold feathers, a little too big, but they gave Jack the impression of being one of those little cupids painted on the ceilings of churches. Dean finished changing the boy's diaper and put it in a separate bag, since the incident with the witches he thought it wise to start treating those things like powerful grenades. He removed his gloves and put Jack's pants back on.

"Okay, kid, I need you to show me the most adorable face you can." He asked, lifting the baby up until he could look him in the eyes, the wings flapped, and the chubby little legs kicked while Jack laughed loudly, he loved being held high, it must be something angels liked. The boy's eyes were closed as he laughed, his pink mouth was open and there weren't many teeth, just a few that hadn't fully erupted yet, his chubby cheeks swayed as his laughter intensified, and his magnificent wings flapped softly. It was an adorable sight, Dean felt the cruel urge to bite those cheeks, he remembered doing that a lot with Sam, until his father asked him to stop because Sam was crying - in fact, baby Sam always laughed when Dean nibbled on his cheeks or belly, but John scared them both by slamming the door, any baby would be terrified if they heard a sudden noise.

Dean put Jack's suitcase back in the backseat and tucked Jack back into the sheets before strapping him back into his travel seat.

"Okay, kid, let's continue our trip, you looked cute, but Bobby is a tough guy, so you're going to need to be even cuter if you want to survive, capiche?" The baby blinked twice and then blew bubbles of saliva, it was so disgusting but so precious, Dean hated how sissy he was around babies.

“We’re here…” Dean announced to himself.

It was an unnerving feeling to be back, but it was also good, the junkyard looked the same as he remembered, full of old cars, lots of weeds and a stray cat or two – maybe they were rats? Bobby’s old mutt, Rumsfeld, Dean remembered, was fast asleep on the porch, the old dog drooled a lot and, despite being a guard dog, barely reacted to Dean’s arrival. The house hadn’t changed either, the same good old cabin, with windows covered by thick curtains, doors covered in protective sigils and a roof that looked like it would collapse if the wind blew too hard, it looked perfect.

“We’re here.” He repeated breathlessly, suddenly being there was the scariest thing Dean had ever done, and that was ridiculous since it was just Bobby's house, not hell or purgatory, just... just Bobby's house, the same house where Dean had his first beer, where he had played baseball for the first time as a normal boy, the same house where he had managed to put down the shotgun and be just Dean Winchester and not a hunter...

He missed that house so much, but he was still afraid to go near it. How many years would Bobby live if Dean had just turned around and let the old hunter live in peace? Many years, probably, and if it hadn't been for the baby in the backseat, Dean would have done just that, but he couldn't, he couldn't because he was alone, and he wouldn't be able to if he was alone.

"I'm going to go out and talk to him, okay? But I'll be back, I promise." He whispered as a reassurance to Jack and checked the baby in the rearview mirror, just to make sure the boy understood that he wasn't being abandoned and that everything was okay.

The little eyes blinked slowly, and the wings beat against the car seat, it seemed like an uncomfortable position to be in, but Jack didn't complain and Dean wasn't going to complain. The Winchester took a deep breath and got out of the car.

The plan was to use the short walk from the Impala to the cabin as time to prepare, but the door to the house opened as soon as the car door closed.

"Hell, finally you idiot, I thought you were going to chicken out and run away..." Bobby couldn't finish his sentence, Dean ran to the old hunter and grabbed him in a tight, tearful hug. The other man's hand gave Dean two hesitant pats on the back, and Dean thought he might have finally surprised the great Bobby Singer. "Kid..."

The man's voice was hesitant and a little scared, Dean felt like laughing.

"What happened, is your brother okay, or your dad?"

He pulled away laughing and wiped his face, feeling embarrassed for crying.

"Sorry, I just... Sorry." Bobby splashes holy water on his face and puts his hands on his shoulders when nothing happens. Dean laughs at the man's paranoia and lets the old hunter look for signs of possession. When he doesn't find any, Bobby pulls Dean back into his embrace and squeezes him tightly, feeling the Winchester's body shake with his sobs and endless apologies. "Damn, I missed you, I missed you so much, even though I still hate it when you throw holy water on my face without warning." This seemed to surprise the older man even more. Dean didn't want to scare the man or make him more worried than he already had, but he underestimated his own pain when he thought he could hold back the emotion of being reunited with Bobby. Dean pulled away, finally able to formulate complete sentences and feeling more relieved and relaxed than before. "I'm sorry..."

"Stop apologizing, kid. Tell me what to do to help you, idiot."

Dean laughs: "I'm sorry. I really need help."

“Yeah, I noticed…” He answers hesitantly, Dean may have caused the old man a little shock by showing up and being so emotionally open and desperately affectionate. Bobby clears his throat to recover and then continues speaking. “What’s all the suspense anyway? What do you need?”

“Well…” He hesitated, glancing at the Impala before looking back at the hunter. “I’m going to need you to be open-minded now, okay? Not only is this someone I need to introduce you to, but I also have so, so much to tell you, so much that I don’t even know where to start, actually…”

Singer’s eyes also turned to Dean’s car, he seemed a little nervous, but willing to accept Dean’s terms. “Okay…”

“Promise me you won’t draw your gun.”

“Why?!” He turned around, startled, his hand already hovering over the holster where his pistol was.

“Just promise me.” Bobby hesitated. “Please, Bobby, I really need help, I only have you, please…”

There was a clear struggle on the other hunter’s face, Dean could tell by the way his thick eyebrows furrowed and then softened, his hand fell limply to his side and Bobby sighed.

“Okay, okay! I promise I'll be open-minded, and I won't pull out my gun.”

Dean couldn't help but sigh in relief. Without waiting for Bobby to change his mind, Dean walked over to Baby and opened the back door to grab Jack from his car seat.

The boy had fallen asleep, and his wings wrapped around his small body, shielding the boy's eyes from all the bright light he hated. Dean smiled despite all his exhaustion, it was a peaceful scene that only someone who has ever taken care of a baby could appreciate.

“Shhh, Shhh.” He whispered, calming Jack's complaints, so the boy wouldn't wake up scared. “It's okay, baby.”

“Holy shit!” Dean's body tensed, Bobby's voice didn't sound aggressive, just surprised, and that calmed Dean's nerves, at least a little.

“I know this is going to sound crazy, but…”

“You're a father!”

He expected all kinds of reactions, but definitely not this one: “Huh? No, it's not mine, I mean..." Only then did Dean realize that Bobby probably thought the wings were coverings and not limbs of a biblical creature, which is why the hunter's reaction was one of surprise and not aggression; he thought Jack was human, not a Nephilim, the Antichrist or the literal god himself. "Bobby, he didn't..."

"Well, I can't say I expected that." Bobby approaches, thankfully unarmed, and strokes Jack's blond hair before looking at Dean in awe. "So, who's the mother? Where is she?"

Dean tries to answer, but Bobby's reaction suddenly changes, and he slaps Dean on the ear.

"Hey!"

"Don't give me that 'Hey!', what the hell, Dean, how did you manage to father a child, I thought you were more responsible than that, son!"

The Winchester seemed a little bewildered by Bobby's questions and change of mood, but he was able to answer.

“B-but… I mean, he’s not… I’m taking care of him, but the boy isn’t mine… well, not by blood, actually, we’re not related at all, but, well, I’m taking care of him, you know?”

Bobby suddenly seemed to understand and moved away from the two of them a little, his eyes now more cautious as he analyzed Jack’s ‘blanket’: “Let me guess, you were on a hunt and killed a family that happened to have a puppy, you didn’t have the heart to kill it and ended up adopting it?” It seemed like an absurd story, but plausible, I mean, wasn’t that basically what Dean did to Bobby-John?

“Eh… well, then, it wasn’t me, actually, I didn’t even want the kid…” He admitted with immense shame, Sam and Cass were Jack’s parents, Dean was at most the drunk stepfather who scared the baby. “The story of how I ended up with the kid is actually a bit long, and you might want to sit down before listening.”

Bobby nods seriously and gently wets his hand with holy water before wetting Jack’s hair, as expected nothing happens.

“Let’s go inside, you look like you could use a beer.”

“Yeah, thanks.” He thanks him, following the other hunter into the house, Dean feels more relaxed as soon as he sits on the old couch and receives a bottle, despite what he told Bobby, he doesn’t drink the beer, the memories of last night are still very fresh in his mind, at that moment he was sober, and he didn’t even want to know how much worse he could be if he drank.

He takes a deep breath, his eyes getting heavy as he prepares to tell Bobby everything he’s been through.

“Bobby, I’m going to sound like a crazy person, but…” His hand tightened around Jack, seeking the warmth and security to continue speaking. “I’m from eighteen years in the future, and…”

Bobby jumped back, and his hand went to his pistol. Dean stood up, startled by the reaction, and pulled Jack away, but Bobby didn’t look angry, just worried.

“What the hell, Bobby!?”

The other hunter raised his hand in a peaceful gesture, but his hand was still holding the pistol.

“Sorry for the reaction, kid, but you should say you were cursed, you caught me by surprise!”

Dean frowned and backed away until his back was against the wall, Jack was squirming, but he still hadn’t woken up, Dean needed to loosen his grip on the boy, but he was afraid if he let go just a little, Bobby would shoot.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, I’m not cursed, now put the gun down, Bobby.”

“Maybe you just don’t remember, but something happened when you said it, and I’m not going to risk it, Dean.”

“What are you talking about? Nothing happened…”

“When you said it, your mouth moved, but only a beeping sound sounded, as if you were censored.” He gestured. “Say it again.”

“Huh?”

“Just say it again!”

Dean sighed, already regretting having come, he knows Bobby was right to be cautious, but Dean was too tired for that now!

“Okay! I just said I’m from eighteen years in the future and…”

“See! Something happened again, I couldn’t hear anything!”

This was confusing, why wouldn’t Bobby hear? Maybe it was a one-time thing?

“I died and came back.” Silence, Bobby didn’t react, maybe he hadn’t heard it again?

“You did what!?” Well, it seems he heard it. “Dean, what the fuck?!”

The Winchester raised his free hand in a peace sign and sat back down on the couch, it seemed like he couldn’t say he was from the future, okay, things would be hard to explain, but he could find a way.

“I sold my soul, I went to hell…” Bobby looked mad as Dean talked, but he couldn’t let Bobby talk until he explained everything. “An angel saved me, a lot of shit happened after that, and I might not be able to explain it all now, but the important thing is the angel, he’s Castiel, he’s been taking care of me for a long time, and now he’s lost his memory, the kid is his, Cass had a fight with Lucifer and… well, now I have a nephilim.”

“WHAT!?”

“Calm down, he’s a good kid, I swear, but I really need help taking care of him and bringing Cass’ memories back…” Everything goes silent as Bobby just stares at him in shock, the other hunter looks like he’s going to say something, but Dean remembers Jack’s diapers and decides to tell him about them before he forgets. “Besides, the shit this boy does is just as, if not more, sacred than any holy water, it literally turns impure creatures into dust, it’s crazy.”

“DEAN!”

The old man’s scream startles Jack and wakes the baby, the wings open and the crying starts.

“Damn, Bobby, you scared the kid!” Something heavy falls, Dean looks up and is startled when he sees Bobby passed out. “Bobby!”

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

CASSIE BOY

It hasn't been long since he broke up with Dean, but after walking around non-stop, Cass managed to get a cell phone after getting involved in a strange interaction, there were some men fighting in the middle of the street, he was worried that something would happen to them and got between the two, they shot at him and after the bullets ran out their anger also ended, in fact, they were very nice to Cass and offered him money. Cass tried to be nice back and complimented his clothes, the men gave him some too, it was interesting, although the perfume of the clothes was a bit strong.

Anyway, Cass managed to get money, nice clothes and a cell phone, although he doesn't really know how to use the cell phone or what to spend his money on, still, sometimes he gets texts from unknown numbers, things like: - Hey Cassie boy, long time no see, I'm sending you this message to tell you to take your pretty ass straight to Podunk. It's a little town on the outskirts of Bargersville Indiana. The little boss said there are some local teenagers who need help. He warned you to be careful if you drive. –

Getting to Bargersville was quick since he was walking in that direction, it was only 7 hours according to his cell phone. The walk was interesting until he reached a dirt road and the forests began to be replaced by empty fields and the houses were replaced by old abandoned barns. Some truck drivers passed by a few times and asked if he was lost, when Cass said no they warned him to be careful because 'strange things happen around there'.

Unfortunately, the truck drivers were right and strange things happened when Cass arrived at an old church, starting with the fact that several teenagers were praying fervently and that there was a little ghost girl on the altar kneeling too.

"Hello." He greeted, and his voice echoed off the walls of the church, the teenagers looked up from the ground and turned to him with their hands in a sign of supplication, they were all crying and looked scared, but they couldn't speak. “I was told you needed help, what can I do for you?”

There were desperate gestures and attempts to speak, but the teenagers seemed to be stuck in their prayer positions. The only one who had managed to move was the little ghost girl, a small creature in a white dress, pale skin and long dark curls, she would be his best bet to find out what was happening.

“Hello.”

“What are you?” The girl asked, her little eyes shining with tears, she looked so sad and scared. Cass knelt down, he doesn’t know why, but something told him that it was necessary to be in this position to have a proper conversation with children.

“I don’t know. What are you doing here?”

She sobbed and tried to wipe her wet face, but her hands didn’t seem to be able to let go of each other.

“Daddy grounded me, said I was a bad girl and I couldn’t leave until I finished all my prayers.”

Cass looked around, there were only scared teenagers around, no adults or other ghosts that he could sense.

“And where is your daddy now?”

Another sob, this time there was blood running down instead of tears.

“I don’t know, but I can’t go out and look for him until all my prayers are said.”

He nodded, his body still felt awkward to move, but there were some movements that seemed automatic.

“And how many more prayers do you need to say?”

There was no answer, the ghostly blue eyes filled with red tears became unfocused, and the little ghost seemed to be lost in thought.

Cass turned to the teenagers, now they were able to sob and whisper, so they could answer some questions for him.

“How long have you been here?” He asked the front row, they looked the dirtiest and most tired, looking at their clothes, Cass thinks they might be friends of the men he met in the city, no one else wore a leather jacket and boots from what he saw in 7 hours of walking.

“I…” A dark-skinned young man answered with a shaky voice, he seemed surprised that he could speak. “We… we were just playing… we didn’t think the legend of the Cry Baby was real, I swear we didn’t…”

A loud sound rang out and silenced the boy, all the teenagers looked away or closed their eyes, none of them looking at Cass or the little ghost.

“You’re forcing them to pray, why?” He asked curiously as he turned to the girl again, she looked different from before, her black, curly hair was now covered in blood and smooth with dirt, she also looked angry.

“They are bad people! And bad people should beg for forgiveness!”

“Is that what your father said?”

“Yes!” She stamped her foot, something snapped and the cry of pain from one of the teenagers was heard, Cass imagined it must hurt to have a broken bone. “Daddy said I can only leave after I finish my prayers, but if I can’t leave, then neither can they!”

Another crack and more screams, it was distressing to see these young people suffer, but Cass felt even worse for the ghost of the little girl.

“Did your father say that, before or after he killed you?” That seemed to calm the little girl down, or maybe she was just surprised by the random question. He wasn’t sure why he said that, he didn’t know anything about the legend the teenagers were talking about or about the life of this young soul, but something, deep down in his mind, told him that the little girl wasn’t loved by her father.

“What?”

“There’s blood on your head, your eyes and your dress, he beat you while you prayed, he said that only then would you be heard by God…” Memories that didn’t belong to him flashed before his eyes, the girl’s name was Anna, she was the daughter of the leader of this church, there was a lot of cruelty involved in raising this man, but a lot of love on the part of the little ghost, she was such a kind girl. “He lied to you, God wasn’t listening to you, your father hated you and wanted to make you suffer, but he liked your mother, so he always took you to the hospital, he didn’t want you to die…”

There was something familiar about this story, something that made Cass wonder if her relationship with her father was as bad as Anna’s. The memories stopped and Cass was back in the church, her hand touching Anna’s soul.

“I’m so sorry, Anna… Your father doesn’t love you.” He hesitated, but he needed her to know, ghosts needed to be let go in order to move on, how many years had Anna been there, alone and scared, praying to a God who might not be listening and waiting for a father who didn’t care about her?

“No…” She sniffed, her head shaking in denial. Cass tried to get closer again, maybe to comfort her or maybe to wipe away her tears. She pulled away, her chubby face contorted in anger. “NO!”

The church windows shattered, the teenagers screamed, and Cass was thrown away until he hit a wall. It hurt, but only for a few seconds, it was like being hit by a truck again, but there were no witch nurses this time, he just felt his bones go back into place, and he got up to approach Anna again.

“You need to stop now, Anna, you’re hurting people, you’re not a bad girl, let them go, and let yourself rest.”

“No! I can only leave after I finish praying!” Her screams made the teenagers scream in pain, but Cass didn’t feel the same effect. The lights turned on and illuminated everyone, causing huge shadows on the wall, for some reason this seemed to make Anna stop screaming.

“Anna?” He called, but there was no answer, all the teenagers seemed fine, but scared and still stuck in the prayer pose. “Anna?”

He called again and approached the little ghost, she had returned to normal, but seemed more scared than before.

“Don’t touch me!” She screamed, running away from Cass, but refusing to turn to look at him. “Please, I don’t want to go to hell!”

Hell? He thought confused, he had no idea what she was talking about.

“I have no power to take anyone to hell.”

“That’s a lie! I saw your true form, you’re a demon! The devil’s spawn!”

“Is that what I am? Well, I don’t feel like a demon, I didn’t come here to do any harm, I just felt like they needed my help, so I came here.” That didn’t calm the ghost down, but it seemed to do some good, since all the teenagers were able to move freely again. “Anna, please turn to me, let me help you.”

It was no use, the teenagers fled the church, and still Anna didn’t look in their direction.

The phone buzzed inside his leather jacket, and Cass picked it up to see what the unknown number had sent.

- Stop being a wimp and send this soul to heaven at once, Cassie, I’m tired of waiting! –

He looks at the message and then at the ghost girl, he didn’t want to answer the unknown number, but he needed help and answering the messages was his only chance.

- How do I make a young ghost with over 50 years of pain calm down enough so I can help? –

- ... – The answer took a while to arrive and was not useful. – What, you idiot, just send this girl upstairs! –

Cass blocked the number and turned off his cell phone, it seemed that the messages were sent by an idiot, and he would not waste his time paying attention to answers that were not to his liking.

“Anna…” he hesitated, he did not know what to say, Cass did not know much, in fact, even his name had been told to him by someone else, but he did not want to leave Anna alone here, she did not deserve this. “You prayed for a long time, suffered and suffered for a long time…, but it does not have to be like this anymore. Don't you want all this to end? That you can finally leave this church and go play outside, with other children?”

No reaction, Cass needed to try harder, if only he could touch her soul again, find out more about Anna's life…

His cell phone buzzed again, Cass refused to check the message.

“Your mother…” He begins, not really knowing how to continue, but he is relieved when she reacts to it. “Your mother was… good… she loved you…” Anna turns slowly, but still doesn’t look at him. “She’s up there in heaven… she’s… she’s waiting for you…” It was a lie, he doesn’t remember if he liked lying or not, but now he decided he definitely hates it, it was like swallowing nails that cut his throat. “Please, let me… let me help you get to your mother.”

He hesitated, but held out his hand for the ghost to take, she looked at his hand and then at his face, there was fear in her eyes, but also resignation. Anna sighed through her tears and placed her small hand against Cass’s.

“Promise me that mommy is waiting for me?” There was hope in Anna’s voice.

Cass felt something warm in the back of his throat, it tasted horrible, but he swallowed hard before lying again: “Yes, Anna, I… I promise.”

“And my daddy, will he be there too?”

He didn’t know how to answer that, it was a 50/50 chance that Anna’s mother really was in heaven, but her father… Cass was 100% sure that a man like that would never get within two steps of the gates of heaven, whether heaven was real or not.

“I… I don’t know, your father he… he wasn’t a good man, Anna, he couldn’t be with you, I’m sorry…”

There was crying, but acceptance, Cass wondered how there could be love when all Anna had received was hate and pain, suddenly there was light, Anna hugged him and everything brightened until Cass could only see white, when it was all over, Anna was gone and there was only Cass in the church.

Applause rang out behind him.

“Well done, Halo boy, you tricked an innocent little girl, cruel, little brother, even for you…” Cass vomits, feeling sick. “Holy shit.”

Chapter Text

FAMILY

Cass doesn't remember much of what happened after he threw up, he does remember a man with a funny accent talking to him, but he disappeared when some teenagers entered the church and ran to help Cass.

The teenagers in question were the same ones who were trapped in the first row of chairs earlier, they both had dark skin and green eyes, they were probably brothers. They checked on him and asked if he had anyone to call or somewhere to go, it hurt to tell them that there was no one.

Adhi and Sarah, the brothers who helped Cass, took him to their house where they explained to his parents what had happened, hiding the ghost part of course, and Cass was welcomed with open arms by the family.

The whole time Cass is talking to the children, the parents of the young people take a look in their eyes that clearly suggests they don't trust him, so he tries his best to stay quiet and act as normal as possible so as not to scare anyone.

Collins, the mother of the teenagers, she has thick hair and bronze skin, Cass finds her charming. Despite her distrust, she treats him well and even makes him tea. She smells of sugar when she offers him a hot cup and asks how he likes his tea to drink.

“I…”

I don’t even know if I like coffee or not. He thought in anguish. He’s never had tea, or doesn’t remember having had tea.

For a moment Cass worries that Collins will find out he’s not human and send him away, but the woman just rolls her eyes with a smile on her face and says, “You Americans, honestly, never know how to appreciate good tea.”

She gives him a strong English breakfast with a splash of milk and a teaspoon of sugar.

It’s good, he thinks.

But with honey it would be better. A voice suspiciously similar to his own sounds in his head, Cass wonders if it was a memory he heard.

Joel, the teenagers' father, is tall and hairless, and smiles all the time, despite clearly being concerned about the presence of a strange man in his home and around his children. Joel is polite, though, and gives him a beer at dinner that Cass likes a little less than the tea, but that brings back memories he didn't remember, memories of late nights spent laughing and talking to a man with green eyes and a loud laugh. Cass feels a great sense of longing as he looks at his face full of laugh lines and crow's feet, though he can't even remember the man's name.

After dinner, he sits awkwardly at the table until Collins tells him he can be useful and help with the washing up. He likes being useful, and scrubbing the dishes and silverware is rhythmic and mundane in a way that his days haven't been since he woke up. Cass decides he likes it too.

After all the dishes are cleaned, he is led into a room with pastel walls, devoid of any decoration that suggests personality.

The couple leaves him alone just to check on their children, and Cass decides to explore the new room that was so different from the rest of the house. Everything there was in soft, neutral colors, from the bed to the closet and from the floor to the ceiling.

Opening the drawer of the white wooden dresser, he finds a handful of framed photos of Joel, Collins, Adhi, Sarah and a third young woman, she is very different from the rest of the family, with her white skin and blonde hair, yet she fits in next to the others and looks happy and loved.

I wonder what it would be like, to have a life like theirs…

The bedroom door opens and Cass puts the photos back.

“I’m sorry.” Joel just waves his hand, he is smiling, but he looks sad.

“It’s okay. I just came to check if you need a towel and… well, I also came to say thank you…” Joel says, placing the towel and some clothes on the bed.

“You and Collins already thanked me for everything.”

“I know, but you can never be too grateful.” They spin side by side, Joel takes one of the photos from the drawer, Cass feels bad for envying how the man looks at the image with such nostalgia, because he wasn't able to do the same, he had no memory...

“This is Maya, she was my first daughter, Collins and I adopted her after we thought Collins couldn’t get pregnant.” Cass took her eyes off the photo and fixed her eyes on Joel’s face, it was amazing how much emotion he could show just by frowning. “She was very loved by us.”

“What happened to Maya?” He asked, although he didn’t need to, something inside him told him Maya didn’t have a long life.

“Some racist boys… they scared her, made her trip on the street and a car ran her over, the doctors said her death was quick and painless, but that doesn’t mean it was painless for us, Adhi and Sarah suffered a lot with the loss of their older sister, it was only a year ago, they became rebellious…” He sighed, finally Joel put the photo away. “I’m grateful for you bringing my children back, you don’t seem to be going through a good time, but you still stopped to help my children escape from the kidnappers, you saved me, my wife, from going through yet another loss. For that, I am eternally grateful, Castiel.”

“I don’t deserve so much gratitude.” His heart aches, he doesn’t know why he was suddenly so shy, there was just something about Joel’s gratitude that made him… sad isn’t the word, but Cass felt bad, he hadn’t gone to the church with the intention of saving people, he was just aimless and desperately needed a purpose, he used the situation to feel better about himself.

Cass sits down in the only chair in the room, he looks exhausted, although his body isn’t sore or worn out.

Joel sighs and finally looks at Cass.

“Have you ever lost anyone, Cass?”

I don’t know. He thinks without giving an answer, silently he wonders if there is a family looking for him, but he doesn’t believe there is, something in him just knew that Dean was all he had, it left him with a cold feeling in his stomach. Of course, if he tried really hard he could picture the face of the green-eyed man smiling at him after a tiring day, he could see a young man in a suit smiling at him and waving his hand and another man with slightly long hair and exasperated but tender eyes. They seemed like good people, Cass misses them, even without knowing exactly who they are.

“Honestly, Joel? I… I think I had a son… maybe there were brothers or… or maybe a father?” His shoulders slump, he feels a headache, but the pain in his chest is stronger. “I really don’t remember anything…”

Joel arches his eyebrow: “I’m sorry, mate.”

Cass leans back against the chair, defeated, before answering Joel.

“Don’t be, I’ll be fine.”

“Collins and I can take you to a safe place, where they’ll help you get better and maybe reunite you with your family.”

It sounds tempting, but the phone in his jacket pocket was weighing him down. The message had led Cass to people who needed help. He had saved lives, and that made his life worthwhile. It gave him a purpose he wouldn’t have had if he had just waited for his family to decide to look for him.

“I’d rather keep walking, looking for people who need help, doing something good, maybe discovering who I am in the process.” Joel smiled at Cass, it was a soft smile.

“Go where the wind takes you, right? Collins was a hippie. I’ve heard speeches like that for years. I get it. But you know, you need other people too. Creating connections and roots is an important part of life. No one deserves to be alone, you know?”

Cass doesn’t understand, but he nods and doesn’t say anything else. Joel says goodbye with a ‘Good night’ and leaves the room, closing the door behind him. Cass waits until his footsteps disappear down the hall before heading out to take a shower.

He puts on an old shirt and clean underwear and crawls into bed, though not to sleep, instead he just stares at the ceiling and tries to imagine what his home was like before. If he had one. He eventually falls asleep and dreams; he dreams of lifeless white clouds, the beating of powerful wings, he can even see someone, something with a playful smile and many golden wings, he feels weak, close to the creature, but safe.

When the clouds and the creature disappear, the image of the green-eyed man appears, he smiles and laughs loudly, pulls Cass into warm hugs and is always looking in her direction. If he looked closely enough he might think that Dean and the green-eyed man were the same person, but it couldn't be, Dean was young, and his eyes were not sad, unlike the green-eyed man, he was older and had tired eyes, but he still managed to smile sometimes. In the dream there were other people, they laughed and drank, they talked, Cass couldn't see or hear what they said, but he felt satisfied to be there. It didn't feel like home, he didn't feel strong or safe, but he felt protective, as if, despite not being happy or confident in his place, he wanted people to feel happy and safe and would do anything for them.

The next morning, he leaves without saying goodbye. He gets on the first bus he finds without knowing where he is going and just sits and waits for his phone to ring again, for a new message to send him to a new destination that will give him purpose again.

It only takes two days of aimless travel and one day of walking before he receives a new message: - Hey, little brother, feeling better? -

Cass thinks about not answering, but he really wants someone to explain things to him, for someone to talk to him. Without thinking, he answers: - I'm in Pontiac, Illinois, can we meet up? -

There was no direct answer, just an emoji. - 😈 -

Chapter Text

After being scolded by Bobby – both for selling his soul and for adopting the antichrist – Dean and Bobby made a deal, Dean would have to do his hunting and come home often to see the boy - Bobby made him promise he wouldn't be like John and Dean agreed wholeheartedly, and in exchange Bobby would stay with Jack until they figured out how to hide the boy's wings.

He stayed two days at the hunter's house before receiving a new message: - Pontiac, Illinois, I have a gift waiting for you at a diner 😏 –

“So what? You just go to Pontiac just because some jerk sent you a message? Dean, you don't even know who that person is! It could be a demon or worse!” Bobby questioned irritably, he and Dean were still having disagreements due to the Winchester's great life decisions, that and Dean wasn't telling everything and Bobby knew there was more to his story than Dean was telling.

The Winchester in question was crouched beside the bathtub, struggling to clean Jack's golden feathers - who would have thought that wings could make such a mess or get dirty so easily?

"I know, Bobby, it sucks, but if I want to find out I need to investigate, maybe it's the person responsible for bringing me back, or maybe it's a trap to take me back, I don't know!" He shouted, already feeling his anger and frustration returning. Jack whimpered in fright and tried to pull his wings away from Dean's hand, that was enough to make the Winchester regret having shouted. "Shhh, it's okay, baby, I'm not mad at you, okay, I'm sorry."

It seemed to work to calm the boy down, but he was still wary of letting Dean clean his wings again. Sometimes Dean thought he could be a good person, then his anger would take over, and he would remember that he was a despicable man, like now, for example, where a baby was moving away from him out of fear.

He wipes his face with the towel before Bobby notices his tears. “I don’t know what’s going on most of the time, okay? All I know is that I’m tired, Bobby, I’m so tired of fighting, but I have a baby to take care of and an angel who has no memory and who might hate me.” Jack was wrapped in a soft towel, Dean wouldn’t be able to finish the bath if the boy was afraid of him. “I have a family, small and dysfunctional, but they matter, and I need to keep them safe, because they’re all I have left. So, yeah, Bobby, I’m going to Pontiac, I’m going to take my chances and hope that whatever’s sending me messages isn’t another one of Chuck’s cruel pranks, hope that it’s not demons or heaven wanting revenge now that I’m weaker, because this is my fucking life and I can only accept it and play along, otherwise people die!” His eyes were burning with tears and his hands were shaking, he wanted to clench his fist and punch some wall until his fingers broke, but he forced himself to keep his hands soft and light, because he was holding Jack with those hands, and he would rather die than leave any injury on the body of an innocent child who didn't even understand why he was so angry!

Dean took a deep breath, refusing to look Bobby in the eyes, feeling ashamed of the effort he was making to not become violent. To calm himself down, he held the towel that was wrapped around the baby's body and used it to carefully dry Jack's hair, Dean liked how soft babies' hair was, Sam always had a lot of hair, it was relaxing to run his hands through it when his brother was still little, an easy way to get Sam to sleep was to hum to him and stroke his hair, Jack didn't like Dean's songs, but he liked having his hair stroked to sleep.

Bobby sighed behind him, this brought Dean back to the present.

“I’m sorry for the shit you’ve had to go through, son, and I admire your courage and resilience, but you need to be careful Dean, stop trying to do everything yourself! You have a son now…” Bobby interrupts before Dean can open his mouth. “And don’t tell me he’s not your son, you idiot, it’s pretty obvious you adopted the kid. Now listen to me, I’m with you, I’m in front of you, I’m here, and I’ll help you, kid, in whatever shit you get into, because no matter how idiotic you are, you’re part of my family and I take care of my family too, understand?”

There were no words for Dean to answer Bobby, he just nodded and tried to wipe away the tears, he was too emotional, it was annoying.

“Understand, kid?” He asked again, more firmly. Dean smiled.

“I get it, Bobby.”

They leave the bathroom and Dean sets Jack down on the bed to find some clothes for the kid.

“So, I don’t really understand what exactly a ‘Chuck’ is, but considering he was your first concern before the literal devil and the fucking angels, I’m going to assume he’s a fucking entity, what do you need to fuck this piece of shit? I can get you a thing or two…”

“Chuck is God. God with a capital ‘G’, if that’s any reference.”

The old hunter’s mouth snaps shut, and Dean hears Bobby take a deep breath. This shouldn’t be funny, in fact, it sucks, but Dean has to fight back his laughter as he distracts himself by dressing Jack in a diaper and pants. The shirt had to be improvised with a soft cloth tied around his neck and waist, since the wings wouldn’t fit through the clothes, and it wasn’t wise to let the baby get wind on his body, Dean learned that the hard way with Sam.

“Okay…” Bobby started, sounding too calm, which meant he was freaking out inside. “God… You picked a fight with God…”

Dean finished tying the cloth/shirt and lifted the boy to roll up Jack’s wings and hold him against his chest to make him sleep.

“Actually, God picked a fight with me, I didn’t even believe in the guy until he showed up and proved himself to be a real asshole of the highest order.”

“I know… Anything else I should know? You know, besides the fact that you apparently have a beef with the literal and proverbial God?”

“Well…” He thought. “I’ve already slept with an angel, technically one of the guy’s sons, and I’ve slept with his sister… I’ve also killed a lot of angels and stuff like that, does that matter for anything?”

Jack yawned with his face hidden in Dean’s chest and Bobby didn’t even blink at this statement, he just rubbed his face and left the room saying something about ‘not dealing with that shit, sober’.

Dean chuckled and turned his attention back to the baby. “I think we’re going to give old Bobby a real headache, don’t you think?” The baby didn’t answer, of course, but he blinked sleepily at Dean before sneezing and closing his eyes to sleep.

Bobby was gone for ten minutes and then came back carrying a heavy bag. Dean didn’t even blink when he saw the tip of a bazooka sticking out of the bag.

“Man, I can’t carry a bazooka in my car, it won’t fit in the trunk, and I’m definitely not having that in the front seat.”

“That’s not for you idiot, that shit’s for me, a man needs to feel safe if he wants to sleep, you know.” He pulled out an assault rifle. “This one’s Rufus, there’s silver bullets in this thing, it might not be good for angels and God, but it’ll slow down demons and make me feel more confident about letting you go alone.”

Laughing is wrong, Bobby is being very serious and Dean wouldn't want to seem cruel about the man's concern, but it was funny, it was funny to imagine himself pointing a damn rifle at God or Lucifer, maybe even an angel, it was so ridiculous.

"Stop laughing you idiot, you'll wake the baby." He mumbled, sounding serious, but there was a smile trying to escape him.

"Sorry, I know, sorry, but..." He doubled over laughing. "Seriously? Bobby, a rifle against God?"

The laughter got louder, luckily Jack was still asleep in his arms and didn't look like he was going to wake up any time soon.

"Are you going to stop laughing and listen to my plan, or would you rather I lock you up? I won't hesitate to put you in my panic room, Dean, I'm serious."

"Okay, okay, sorry." He said, wiping away the tears of laughter, and put Jack on the bed and surrounded him with pillows, so the boy wouldn't fall. "Let's go to the living room, we don't need to wake the boy up talking."

"Okay." He nodded and hoisted the bag with the bazooka and rifle onto his shoulder.

“Are you going to carry this everywhere now?” he asked, amused.

“You bet, kid.”

“Your plan sucks.”

“At least I have one.” The discussion of the plan took all morning, Dean expected something strategic or defensive, but all Bobby had was a call schedule! Dean was supposed to call every three hours, at first it was every hour, but Dean managed to make Bobby see how ridiculous that sounded. “What did you want from me, kid? A plan to defy God? I’m not Jim Carrey!”

The Winchester rolls his eyes and puts the last bag in the trunk before closing it.

“Anyway, thanks for everything, Bobby, you don’t know how much it means…”

“Oh, shut up, idiot.” They hug, Dean takes advantage of the proximity to take a deep breath, Bobby smelled of cheap beer and dusty books, it was terrible, but comfortable, it reminded Dean of times when he was still little and slept in Bobby’s living room, the old hunter always carried him to bed when he saw him on the couch, sometimes Dean pretended to sleep, just to feel the security of being carried. “Usually I’d say some standard shit like ‘Godspeed’, but…”

“I better not.” He scoffs.

“I better not.” Bobby agrees.

Dean opens the driver’s door but hesitates, his thoughts are on Jack and Cass right now, if he died on the way to Pontiac then Jack would never know what happened to him and Cass would never remember him…

“Bobby, you’re going to keep an eye out, right? In case any hunters report a strange man or something…”

The old hunter rolls his eyes and nods.

“Sure kid, don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye out for your boyfriend.”

Dean rolls his eyes but can’t help the smile that forms on his lips, it wasn’t the first time or the last that people had called him and Cass boyfriends, but it was the first time they’d been called that after Dean knew for sure that Cass loved him.

“Thanks, Bobby.”

“Don’t be so worried, Dean, if anything happens to you, I promise to take care of your boys, and I don’t just mean your angel or your son, I’ll take care of Sam too.” Dean nods, feeling a little more relieved. “But it’s good that you came back alive, you know, I still have a lot of questions for you.”

The Winchester smiles understanding that this was Bobby’s way of saying goodbye and takes one last look at the hunter and the cabin, before finally getting into the car, he was nervous about leaving Jack alone when the boy was vulnerable, but he trusted Bobby to take care of everything.

“See you later, Bobby.”

“See you later, Dean.”

He drive Baby and as soon as he’s outside the junkyard his phone rings with a new message with the coordinates for Dean to follow. His hand shakes with anger as he thinks he might be being watched, so he decides to take a chance and sends a message: - Who are you? -

- ...- every second of waiting for a response made Dean even more anxious. – Just an old friend 😈🍷-

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

“Cass?”

Dean spent the next few hours of the day driving non-stop to Pontiac to a coffee shop called “The Cup and the Scone.” It was a simple but beautiful place with a strong smell of coffee. For some, this could be comforting. For Dean, it was just an easy way to dismiss the possible threats that had brought him there. Lucifer certainly wasn’t there. I mean, the place was nice, but it lacked all the drama and chaotic energy that the Devil loved. Imagine his surprise when he walked in and, sitting at a table looking as strange as ever, was Castiel, as still as a statue.

Dean wished he could have controlled himself a little more, but it was impossible. I mean, how was he supposed to act? Cass disappeared before his eyes and Dean couldn’t do anything, so the two of them went back to the past together. Cass didn’t remember him and ran away, again without Dean being able to do anything! It was inevitable that he would hug Cass after losing him so many times.

The hug may have surprised Castiel, but it was returned with as much warmth and eagerness as Dean.

“Hey Cass.”

“Hello Dean.”

They pull away and Dean finally takes the moment to just observe the other man, he was fine, but he looked strange. The angel was now dressed in a leather jacket that matched his rejuvenated appearance very well, he also wore a t-shirt with ‘Fuck you’ written in white and black jeans with a pair of high boots. It was a good look, but Dean felt a little disoriented by the sight, it was strange to see Cass without his trench coat, I mean, almost every time he was without his characteristic piece of clothing it was because he wasn’t Castiel…

“… Dean?” The Winchester looked up, his eyes instinctively meeting Cass’s eyes.

“Sorry, I got a little distracted, what were you saying?” The angel moves a little closer, and Dean manages to notice Cass’s face enough to notice everything he hadn’t noticed the last time they saw each other. Castiel no longer has any visible signs of gray hair or wrinkles and laugh lines, there is a thin beard on his jaw, and his eyes are still a piercing sky blue that is always striking and so beautiful that they almost seem fake.

“I asked how you found me?” Dean leaned up a little to look up, Cass seemed to be a few inches taller than Dean, which made the angel, for the first time, taller than the Winchester, it was kind of hot…

Focus, Winchester. He thought, licking his lips.

“Actually, I had no idea you were still around Indianapolis, I came for another reason.”

Cass tilts his head in that adorable gesture he always has.

“Are you the phone man?”

“Huh?” The angel reaches into his jacket and pulls out a phone, he turns it on and on the screen there is a picture of two random people, Dean can't resist asking: “Dude, did you steal it?”

“Hmm?” He exclaims confused and then answers. “Oh no, two men were fighting in the street, so I stopped them both.”

“And what, they accepted it nicely and gave me their cell phone as a thank you?”

There’s no quick answer, Cass thinks and then nods confidently.

“Yeah, actually, that’s exactly it… I mean, they shot me first…” Dean’s eyes widen. “But then we were fine, they even gave me their clothes as a way to make up for the ones they ruined, I got some money and a phone too, they were very kind.”

Jesus, Cass. He thought and got closer until his hand touched Cass’s left arm, the angel’s hand automatically went up to Dean’s left shoulder, they both sighed at the contact, it was like being complete again, being safe.

They were very close and some of the coffee shop attendants were giving them looks, but fuck them and fuck personal space, they never liked space anyway.

The two remained lost in each other's gaze until someone started clapping, and they finally came out of their trance.

"For the father above all of us, boys, please get a room." Dean was startled by the voice and acted quickly as he stood in front of Cass. "Aw, how cute, a human protecting my brother from me, well, how are you, Dean-o, did you miss me?"

"Balthazar?"

"Hello, Winchester." The angel approached the duo, Dean didn't move away for fear of what the other angel could do to Cass. "Oh, don't be so suspicious, we were partners in another life, don't you remember?"

"I remember, just like I remember you dying, I didn't think I'd see your angelic ass a second time, what are you doing here?"

Balthazar rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers, Dean braced himself for the worst, but all that happened was reality changing, he, Cass and Balthazar were now in a bar with slow music playing in the background, there were no doors or windows and that wasn't good, but at least there was nothing trying to kill them yet.

"Please sit down, we don't want to stand like idiots, okay?" He joked good-natured, gesturing to a table that appeared out of nowhere.

Dean was tense about having Cass near the other angel, so he sat down first, he looked up expecting his friend to sit next to him, but the angel seemed too confused to even move.

"Come on, brother, sit down, I didn't come for revenge, relax." There was still humor escaping the angel's accent, but there was a little hesitation too, as if he was worried about Cass's reaction.

"I'm sorry, but do I know you?"

The other angel's smile fell, and it was enough to make Dean tense.

“Okay, fine, Gabe warned you about this, I shouldn’t be so surprised…” “Wait, Gabe? Like Gabriel? That piece of shit is back too?!”

Balthazar ignores the Winchester in favor of grabbing Cass’s hand and pulling him to the table. Dean instinctively drew his gun, but all it took was a wave of his hands and his gun flew.

“Calm your nerves, sweetie, I just want to talk.” They all sit down, Castiel still confused but looking unfazed as Balthazar pulls him to sit at the table, it was a little odd to see Cass just accepting contact from someone he killed in another timeline. “Okay, talking isn’t really what I should be doing, actually, I have a message for you…”

Dean’s jaw tightened and Cass tilted her head, usually they would be on the same page in a situation like this, a connection forged from years of friendship, but this time they were just in completely different states of emotion.

“You’re the message man.” Cass suddenly spoke, catching Dean's attention, who was glaring deathly at Balthazar.

"Well, yes, but not really, Cassie." He mocked, waving his hand, he looked the same as before, at least the same as Dean remembered, it had been many years since the other angel died, too much had happened to Dean for him to care, but nothing could get it out of his head that there was something wrong with the shell Balthazar had, I mean, had the poor guy always looked so young or was that just angel magic?

"You probably have a lot of questions, but unfortunately I'm out of time, you see, the new boss is taking some much-needed rest and I need to get back to my new post, so..." He snapped his fingers, an angelic blade appeared on the table, Dean stepped back, but Cass seemed drawn to the blade, almost as if it were calling him. "This is yours, little brother, I hope you still know how to use it."

“Wow, wow, Cass, I know you have no memory, but that’s no excuse to touch the sharp part of the blade that can kill you.” Dean grabbed the angel’s hand, which seemed to snap him out of a hypnotic trance. He turned to Balthazar. “What’s your game here, Balthazar, were you the one who did all this to us? I’m sorry, but this kind of shit seems too big for a simple angel, don’t you think?”

Balthazar sneered.

“I’m a cherub, you fool, but yes, you’re right, I’m not responsible for any of this, the boss that is.”

“Who’s the ‘boss’, exactly?” Cass questioned, making air quotes with her fingers, a reaction that made both other occupants at the table soften, Cass was adorable sometimes.

“Well little brother, I would love to tell you, but I have to go…” The angelic blade was pressed against Balthazar’s throat, in less than two seconds Dean was reminded of the reason why it was Castiel who had taken him out of hell in the first place.

“I have no memories, and I am very angry about the whole situation, I came here expecting answers, and you will answer me, or I will pierce your throat.”

“Dean, Dean-o, hey…” He stammered, sounding tense with Castiel’s threat. “Control your boyfriend.”

A cold look in his direction was all Dean needed to take a step back and pretend Balthazar wasn’t there.

“Coward…” The blade tore a bit of skin and the grace threatened to come out. “Wait, wait, come on Cassie, I’m your brother, you already killed me once, we don’t need you to do it a second time.”

“Answer my question if you don’t want to die, who’s your boss!”

“God!” He replied, leaning back with a mocking smile, he looked tense, but not as scared as expected.

“If I’m your brother, where were you when I woke up four days ago? What happened to me?” He looked increasingly frustrated as he questioned Balthazar, Dean hadn’t remembered Cass like this since the angel still served Heaven.

“I don’t know…” The blade pierced deeper into his skin. “Calm down! Calm down, damn it, I swear, I don’t know! I only survived until the War between you and Rafa, me and the others have no idea how you ended up down here…”

That didn’t seem to please the angel and everything went into slow motion as the blade rose and fell to kill Balthazar, fortunately, an annoying voice rang out and was enough to stop Castiel.

“Hey, little brother, what did we talk about trying to stab your brothers?”

The angelic blade disappeared into Cass’s jacket and Balthazar disappeared from his chair and reappeared next to Gabriel, the archangel who was also supposed to be dead, but what the hell was going on with the world!?

“Hell, man, you’re alive too!”

Confetti flew to a ridiculous melody as Gabriel bowed like an actor, thanking the audience. “What the fuck, are we all just getting revived for free? What, did you guys drink Lazarus juice?”

The archangel smiled, a tight smile, but still playful.

“It’s good to see you too, Dean, but I didn’t come here for you, just to get my little carrier pigeon.”

Cass took a step forward, but Gabriel held up a finger as if to say, ‘Stay put.’

“Dear Balthy her, he got stuck with one of my old annoying messenger jobs, unfortunately he doesn’t do a very good job, so we can talk once he’s out and back to his new post.” Balthazar rolled his eyes, he looked a lot like Sammy when he was being a brat.

A flap of wings later and Balthazar disappeared, all reality returned to normal, and they were back in the cafeteria and Dean was getting more and more irritated with all this angelic shit, Castiel tried to take a step forward, probably planning to face Gabriel and get answers, but Dean was faster this time and placed a hand against the angel's chest, stopping him. Strong as Cass was, Dean knew he could have been killed by the angel, but that wasn't what happened.

"That's right, Dean, hold your angel, cowboy, he may be strong now, but I have millennia more experience as an archangel than him, it wouldn't be a fair fight." Dean ignored the joker and stood in front of his friend.

"What's going on, Gabriel, what are all these messages, what's wrong with heaven, why are you and Balthazar alive again?"

The prankster shrugged and said, “To be honest with you, Winchester, I have no idea, all I know is that you killed my father, and suddenly we have a new God in heaven.”

“Huh!?”

“Yes, Dean-o, that’s what I said, but what’s happening in heaven doesn’t concern you yet, the important thing here is our dear Cassie, the boss is worried about him.” A snap of his fingers and Cass disappeared from behind Dean to reappear sitting in a chair and appearing to have fallen asleep next to Gabriel.

“Hey!” The archangel pointed his hand at Dean, and the Winchester stepped back tensely.

“Look, buddy, the boss spent a lot of his energy rewinding time and bringing everyone back to life, Michael and I are in charge of everything until the boss returns, the plan was for Cassie here to take care of things, but something went wrong, and now we have an angel with no memory, things aren’t going according to plan, you know?” Dean nods, though he doesn’t understand, his eyes focused on where Cass was. Gabriel rolls his eyes. “He’s just sleeping, stop being a worried wife, it’s no fun.”

“Why don’t you fix his memories?”

“Huh?”

“Why don’t you bring back his memories? Are you going to tell me that heaven can’t fix simple amnesia?”

The archangel snorts and snaps his fingers again, Dean is now facing the other man.

“We tried to fix him, okay, but the memories are trapped in the Void, not even our little boss could get all the memories out of there.”

“So what, are we just going to give up?!”

“That’s right.” He scoffed, moving away to sit on the cafeteria table, no one complained, so Dean would assume that all the employees and customers were charmed not to see or hear their conversation.

“But…”

“My brothers and I have been asleep in the void for years, Dean, we don’t want to go back there and, fortunately, our new boss is a big believer in free will for everyone, that includes us angels, and since the boss is tired, he can’t go to the Void alone, and he won’t send others there either. So, yes, Dean, Cass will be without memories for a few millennia.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Dean got irritated, he had been doing that a lot these past few days, but in his defense, he had a right to be irritated about everything. “Are you going to tell me there really isn’t anything that can be done?”

Dean grabbed Gabriel by the collar of his shirt and the archangel barely reacted, he was stronger, Dean couldn’t do anything against him, but it helped him not to use his hands to do something stupid, like punching the archangel and risking breaking his fingers. Gabriel shrugged.

“You can always try to bring the memories back with the power of love, I mean, it worked against Chuck, didn’t it?”

A snap of his fingers and Dean was sitting next to Cass, another snap and Gabriel was gone.

“Fuck!”

Chapter Text

DATE

- Okay, so…- Dean takes a deep breath and tries not to stare at Castiel, he was outside the coffee shop making a call to Bobby, Cass was still inside typing on her phone and looking very frustrated. - … I have good news and bad news.-

Bobby sighs on the other end of the phone, and Dean knows the old hunter is about to have a real headache.

- Okay, what's the bad news, then? -

Dean waves to some girls who pass by smiling in his direction, he was trying to be a little more charming and charismatic again, honestly it was very difficult.

- So, the bad news is that my angel won't recover his memory anytime soon.-

- Okay…- He hesitates and then asks. – And what's the good news?-

- The good news is that heaven really did get a new God, but…-

— But?-

- But you're with him now, and it'll be a while before the kid can return to the throne of heaven… -

The line goes silent and for a moment Dean worries that he's finally reached Bobby's breaking point, I mean, hell and the antichrist were acceptable things, every hunter knew that shit was real. Angels, heaven and God? That was hard to believe, but still easy to understand, now to hear that you have God sleeping in your house and that you carried him in your arms? Well, that seemed a little absurd even to Dean, and he's seen a lot of absurd things.

- Bobby?- He called hesitantly, a minute passed, and the other hunter didn't answer. He felt a sudden chill.

“Dean?”

“Holy shit!” The phone fell from his hand and shattered on the sidewalk. “Damn, fuck Cass, that scared me!”

The angel blinked and tilted his head to the side.

“I saw you seemed nervous, and I was worried, are you okay?”

Dean stared at his destroyed phone and sighed before walking over to where his car was parked.

“Sure, Cass, I’m fine, just frustrated with your idiot brothers and all.”

He grabbed a new phone from the glove compartment and turned it on to send a text to assure Bobby that he was still alive.

“I understand your frustration.” Dean tried to get out of the car, but Cass was standing by the open door, staring at him intently. “I was trying to get Balthazar to text back, but it seems the ‘messenger angel’ is having an ‘off day.’”

“You don’t have to use quotation marks all the time, Cass.” He explained, but the angel looked confused, probably not remembering what quotation marks were and just doing them automatically. “Anyway, if it wasn’t Balthazar texting back, then who was it?”

Castiel shrugged, Dean stood up, waiting for Cass to step back so they wouldn't collide, but the angel didn't move a step, he just remained chest to chest with Dean, pinning the Winchester against the car – the hunter didn't care enough to ask the angel to move away.

“The name I got when I asked was Uriel” Dean's eyes widened, but Cass seemed oblivious to the other's shock. “I asked why they had switched with Balthazar and I found out that the 'boss' seems to have demoted some soldiers to simple messengers, whatever that means.”

The two stared at each other for no reason, Dean just needed to think and let his eyes focus on Cass while he got lost in thought, everything was getting crazier and crazier, but it seems that Jack created a damn company in heaven, I mean, does the kid really give angels vacations? Can angels be demoted from their positions? How does that work?!

“Dean? You look a little pale.”

The Winchester blinks a few times and looks away from Cass to send a message to Bobby again: -I'll call you later. - That's all Dean writes before putting the phone in his pocket.

“I haven’t eaten anything on the trip here, maybe I’m feeling a little weak, would you like to join me for dinner, Cass, maybe even stay for dessert?” It’s an innocent question, but Dean wouldn’t be himself if he didn’t wink and use a teasing tone when making the suggestion.

As expected, however, Cass sees no malice and just nods before walking away from the Impala and heading back to the cafeteria.

Back at the table where they were before, Dean watches Cass read the menu as if it had all the answers in the world and the universe. Dean was hoping to get a burger, but “The Cup and the Scone” was more famous for selling coffees, teas, smoothies and various options of bakery items, unfortunately there was no apple pie on the menu, but Dean got a chocolate one and a cup of black coffee, while Cass got a scone with honey and a cup of tea.

In all the years they've known each other, Dean has never known the angel to like tea, or honey scones, but he decides to start taking notes on what his friend likes, just for future reference, like when Dean manages to convince Cass to come home with him and be able to make the angel's favorite foods to convince him to never leave again. Cass takes a first tentative bite of his scone before starting to devour it with a gusto that Dean could only match on a good day. The angel hums softly as he eats, and the loving smile is almost impossible to stop when Dean realizes that Jack usually does the same when he's drinking milk, both Cass and Jack close their eyes and hum happily at the food, it's the most adorable shit Dean has ever seen, perhaps second only to the memory of baby Sam trying to walk to Dean and scowling when he fell. They eat in silence, Dean doesn't know exactly what to say to Cass now. His people skills are still rusty, but that's okay because Cass never needed small talk, and they're comfortable just eating together.

"So, you talked about going where you thought you needed to go." Dean started after they both finished eating. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

Cass sips her tea and sighs before putting the cup back on the table: "I did, but it didn't turn out as well as I would have liked."

"Why, what happened?"

"There was a little ghost girl..." Dean shuddered, cases with children were always difficult. "She was stuck in the church for a few years without being able to get out... I lied to her that her mother was waiting for her in heaven..."

"And how do you know that's a lie? It could be true, right?" From the look on the angel's face, Dean knew that wasn't a possibility.

"Her mother knew about the abuse... She never did anything to stop it and stayed married to her husband even after he killed Anna."

Dean sipped his coffee to try to clear the bitter taste that was left in his throat.

“How did you find out?”

“I touched her soul, saw some things. Later two teenagers took me home with them, Collins, their mother, was a nurse and made sure I was okay and let me stay the night, the kids told me a thing or two about life after Anna was murdered, that’s how I knew Anna’s mother had died of old age and married her daughter’s killer.”

Dean swore under his breath, he would love to have a beer right now, coffee wasn’t a useful drink for conversations like these, but he wasn’t going to drink it, for Jack’s sake, he repeated in his mind. Drinking made him aggressive and destructive, and Jack didn’t need that, nor did Cass.

“Well, how did it all end? Did Anna go to heaven?” There was no answer, Cass was just staring blankly at the remaining honey on the plate. “Cass?”

The angel looked up.

“Is it weird that I feel sick about lying to Anna?” That took Dean by surprise. “I don’t remember much, but I feel like lying was never my best skill.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that, I mean, faking during hunts was never your strong suit, but you were a good liar when you needed to be…” From the look on Cass’s face, that wasn’t what he wanted to hear right now, Dean cleared his throat. “Just saying. Anyway, don’t beat yourself up so much, buddy, you were trying to help, I bet Anna doesn’t care about the lie anymore now that she’s in heaven.”

Cass sighed and finished his tea, Dean wanted to comfort his friend, but he had no idea what to do, usually Cass knew what Dean meant without Dean having to explain himself, but now the angel had no memories and Dean suspected that this was the reason why the two of them were no longer in sync with each other’s thoughts and actions as they used to be in the past (future?)

Dean cleared his throat feeling uncomfortable, it was a little cruel to have Cass right in front of him and feel like they were strangers… Well, actually, Dean was a stranger to Castiel, it would probably be for many years, maybe centuries, after all who knows when the angel will recover his memories? If he ever will…

“I like the color of your eyes.” Cass says suddenly.

“Huh?” The angel shrugs and shows his phone.

“Gabriel texted me, said he can sense your restlessness from afar and that I should change the subject before you have a breakdown.”

Dean smiles at the absurdity of their current situation, but he can't help but be glad that Cass was still so painfully bad at small talk.

“Well, I'm glad Gabriel is being useful for something, and I'm glad you like my eyes, are they a pretty color?” He asks, winking a few times and smiling at the angel, the hint of a smile also appears on Cass's face.

“Green is a little less visible than blue, but yes, the color of your eyes is very beautiful, honestly, I think it's one of the few things I remember, I like the color in your eyes.”

This surprises the Winchester, who straightens up in his chair and looks into Cass's eyes expectantly.

“You don't remember who you are, but you remember the color of my eyes?”

“Yes.”

It's absurd to even think about it and, with any other person or creature, Dean would think it was a ridiculous idea, but it made sense that of everything about Dean, Cass would remember his eyes the most, I mean how many times did the two of them stare at each other? How many times did they get lost in each other's gaze…

Dean feels his cheeks heat up and laughs at that, it was so stupid now that he was thinking about it, I mean, they've been in love forever, right? Every look between them made it so obvious, Dean just wished Cass could remember their bond, so Dean could apologize to him for taking so long to realize it.

“Dean, you’re blushing.”

The Winchester laughed even harder, coming from someone else Cass’ statement would seem like mockery, but this was just Cass pointing out a fact and Dean couldn’t care less if his friend saw him blushing like an idiot.

“So, why do you like my eyes?”

Cass opens his mouth to speak, but Dean interrupts him before he does: “And don’t say it’s because mine match the color of yours.” He jokes, waiting for the angel to give a big explanation as to why he likes green, but nothing comes, Castiel just nods and stays silent, staring at Dean and drinking his tea.

His cheeks get hot again, and Cass hides his smile behind the cup.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come home with me?” He asks hesitantly, Dean really wanted to have Cass back, he was selfish and needed the angel by his side, but he didn’t want to force Cass to do anything he didn’t want to do.

“I still feel like I have things to do, Gabriel informed me that this is due to my lack of memory, it seems like I’ve ‘gone back to factory programming’.”

Dean frowns in confusion.

“You don’t seem to have gone back to being a little soldier obsessed with orders.”

Cass shrugged, “I don’t know what you mean, but Gabriel thinks I’m ‘programmed’ for an important mission, but I can’t remember what it is, so I feel like I need to do something.”

The hunter sighs and rubs his face, he was happy that Cass had spent time with him and selfishly happy that the angel’s few memories were still about him, but Dean is also frustrated, all he wanted was for Castiel to come back to him and never leave him again.

“Give me your phone.” He asked suddenly.

“Why?”

“Just give it to me, Cass, I promise not to steal it from you.” He scoffs, the angel frowns and puts his hands in his jacket pocket.

“I don’t think you’d steal it, Dean.”

“I know, Cass, it was just a joke.”

“Hmm.” He mumbles and hands the phone to Dean.

The first thing the Winchester does is delete all the photos from the gallery, they were about drugs and nudity of the previous owner of the phone, Cass didn’t need that; the second thing Dean does is point the camera and take a picture of Cass’s confused face, the angel’s eyes shine, but Dean doesn’t mind and just sets the photo as wallpaper; the last thing Dean does is add his number to Cass’s list, he adds all five emergency numbers he has, and Bobby’s too just in case.

“There.” He hands the phone to the angel. “I added my number and that of a friend of ours, if you need us you can call us anytime.”

“Oh.” He sighs with a small smile appearing on his face. “Thanks Dean.”

“If you’re ready to go home, you can call me too.”

“I’ll call, don’t worry.”

“Well…” Dean clears his throat. “I guess you haven’t gotten any new messages yet, right?”

Cass’s phone flashes with a message. - Wendigo in Benewah – They read it together.

“Who sent this message?” Dean asks, he and Cass are so close that Dean can feel the angel’s breath.

“Um, I don’t know, it doesn’t seem like Gabriel or Balthazar, they use a lot of emojis, it doesn’t seem like Uriel either, he tends to add some unflattering insults to me…”

“Um, whoever it is, a wendigo or a group of them is going to be a pain, it’s probably a mountain range in the Northwest. Do you have an atlas or something?”

Cass denies, and Dean takes what he keeps in the glove compartment. He starts flipping through the pages and when he finds what he's looking for he moves it to show Cass a map of Idaho, pointing to Benewah County in the northern corner.

"Here, if you're planning on walking there, I'll warn you it's going to be a long drive, but driving would be much faster." He says expectantly, hoping Cass would understand the invitation and accept it.

"I see." He answers, looking at the map with impressive focus; it wouldn't be surprising if the angel was memorizing the map. Cass looks away from the atlas and turns to face the hunter. "Would you come with me, Dean?"

The car's headlights are on, illuminating the dark street of the coffee shop and illuminating Dean and Cass. Dean's instinctive reaction is to sigh in relief.

"Well, Wendigos are too nasty to try to take down on your own, I mean, you could take them down on your own on a good day, but I doubt you remember how to use your angelic powers. Lucky for us, I have nothing else to do, and I'd love to join you."

They both smiled.

Chapter Text

Dealing with a Wendigo alongside Cass was probably the most fun Dean had ever done, I mean, the angel was incredibly annoying to the creatures, even if it wasn't his intention. The Wendigo tried to call Cass using Dean's voice, but the angel just looked around in confusion and called back, when the creatures realized that Cass wasn't going to move towards the trap, they jumped on the angel, which resulted in Cass getting surprised and blasting the three Wendigo with a blast of light.

"What do you mean, 'I don't know how I did it'? You blew up three monsters at once, Cass!" They were having their post-victory meal at a greasy spoon restaurant where Dean convinced Cass to try a burger and fries, of course they also ordered a pie to go, Dean couldn't leave his friend without the amazing experience of eating a good apple pie.

"I don't know what I did, I just did it." He explained, with his mouth full, Cass was more interested in humming while eating his burger than anything else. The angel licks his lips (not that Dean was looking) and lowers the burger to the plate before speaking again. "I don't understand why you're so surprised, I thought you already knew I had some abilities."

"Yeah, Cass, abilities of a 'standard' angel, which in itself is pretty impressive, not abilities of an archangel or... I don't know, I don't remember what other classifications of angels exist, all I'm trying to say is that this is all really weird, don't you think?" He asked, nibbling on the straw of his chocolate milkshake. Honestly, Dean would rather be getting drunk on beer, but he needed to sober up, so his next best option was to fill his veins with sugar until diabetes knocked on the door. Cass shrugs, eyes fixed on Dean's mouth. The Winchester arches an eyebrow and licks his lips before offering Cass some of the drink.

"Thanks, Dean." He hesitates, probably never having tried a milkshake before, but when he starts to drink it, the angel's eyes light up and Dean is sure he lost his milkshake to Cass.

"So, did you like it?" Cass doesn't need to answer, Dean already knows the answer. "Anyway, has anyone from the heavenly care given any sign of life? I don't know, maybe they said something about your grace being back?"

"Grace?" The milkshake is left on the table and Cass now stops curious and more interested in Dean. "What would a 'Grace' be?"

Dean thinks for a moment and then answers: "Well, humans have souls, but angels have grace, you know? Grace is what you're made of?" It wasn't a good explanation, but in his defense, Dean wasn't the smart brother Sammy was.

"I thought it was made of flesh?" He said tilting his head, not for the first time, Dean wondered if there were other angels who did that or if it was a quirk of Cass's.

"No, man, it's just a shell, you know? A vessel, angels can't walk the earth without a vessel..." The waitress passing by looked at Dean strangely, he just smiled and waved at her with a fake smile. "As far as I know you're several meters tall, have huge wings, a voice that bursts eardrums and a gaze that burns the eyes..."

The angel didn't seem surprised, Dean arched his eyebrow in a silent question, but Cass didn't answer, just took the milkshake back and busied herself drinking it.

"Cass? Did you remember anything?" Now it was the angel who was nibbling on the end of the straw.

"Well, I don't know if it's a memory, I mean, it sounds weird, but it fits with what you described, although it doesn't make much sense..." Dean perked up, thinking that maybe the angel was recovering his memories with a little chat, maybe Dean should talk more? That would help, right?

"Let's get the rhythm going, Cass, tell me, what do you remember?" He bit his lip as he thought, Dean pretends to look at Cass's nose and tries not to lose focus on what his friend is going to tell him.

"Well, I was somewhere with white clouds, it looked beautiful, but artificial and lifeless, like a painting. I felt small and there was someone with me... something with a smile and lots of golden feathers..."

Gabriel, maybe? Dean thought, he didn't know many angels besides Cass, they were all jerks anyway, but he could tell that few angels were creatures that smiled.

"And how did you feel around this someone? Did he seem dangerous?"

"Hmm, a little, I felt weak, but safe."

Yeah, Dean would definitely bet his money on Gabriel, from the little time he and the archangel interacted Dean could tell a few things about that son of a bitch, first that he liked to fuck with people, second that he was a jerk, third that he liked sweets, and fourth that he really loved his brothers despite being a coward and having abandoned them, the proof of that was in the way Gabriel and Lucifer interacted, despite what the devil did, there was pain in Gabriel's eyes when he thought about what his brother had become. It wouldn't be surprising if Gabriel was close to the other angels before abandoning them.

“Okay, I’m going to take a guess and say you’re remembering Gabriel, but that’s just a shot in the dark.”

“I’ve never told you about my family before? I was really hoping you could tell me more about them…”

Damn, Cass looked so disappointed.

“Well, I may not know much about the others of your kind, but I know our family.”

“We have a family together?” Cass seems to think for a moment, and then her eyes widen. “You’re my baby’s mother?”

“Huh!?” Dean jumps in surprise and a little embarrassed, where did Cass get that from!?

There were few people in the diner, so few heard Dean’s surprised exclamation and Cass’s speech, but the ones who did were casting glances towards the two.

“Dude, I’m a man, I can’t be a mother, that’s not how it works among humans…” he explained, trying to ignore the looks he was getting. He hated being looked at like that, with that disgust and distrust. For a moment, it was almost like being back in 1994, when Dad was away for months and Dean had to… He’d rather not remember what he had to do that year, it was just bad and he hated it.

“Sorry for the mistake, but there was a powerful aura with you when we met a few days ago.”

Dean looked away from the other occupants of the diner and decided to focus only on Cass now, to focus on the calming presence and the penetrating gaze of his friend.

“Yeah, it was probably Jack, what does that have to do with it?”

“He called me Dad, I just thought it would make sense that you were the mother, why else would you be with my supposed son?”

The Winchester wishes he had an answer for that, but the truth is he doesn't know anything, it sucks, but Dean has no idea why Jack is with him instead of in heaven, I mean, yes, Gabriel said something about the little boss being exhausted, but why would Jack think it would be a good idea to regress in age and settle down next to Dean!? Why not Sam or his mother, what was her name again, Kate Kline? Kelly Kline?

His phone rang, breaking the silence and scaring Dean a little.

- Bobby, is Jack okay? - It's the first thing Dean asks as soon as he realizes Bobby is calling, after the hunt Dean had called the other hunter twice in less than three hours, everything seemed normal, but if Bobby was calling now, then something must have happened.

The line goes silent for a moment and Dean feels his fingers close around the phone, Cass seems to sense the Winchester's anxiety and places her hand on Dean's left shoulder, his concern diminishing a little, but not enough.

- Bobby, hello? - Something crashes on the other side, and Dean thinks he can hear Bobby yelling something about a poop explosion. - Bobby? -

- Listen here you idiot… - The older hunter finally answers, Dean sighs in relief and squeezes Cass's hand, who is still holding his shoulder. - You were gone for a week having fun with your angel and hunting monsters, but I really need you to come home.-

- Sure, right, but why, what happened, are you guys okay? -

- Of course your son is okay, idiot, I'm taking good care of him, I'm not incompetent. The problem is that you must have spoiled this boy too much, he hasn't stopped crying since the last call we had, he heard your voice, and then he never stopped whining! -

Dean sighs in relief that it was just a little baby tantrum, he worried that something worse had happened, but it was okay.

“Dean?” Cass calls softly, his voice even hoarser than it should be normal.

“It’s okay, Cass, Jack just misses me.” His friend nods with some level of understanding and then slowly pulls his hand away from Dean, as if he’s afraid to let go.

- Kid? Oi, can you hear me? - Dean turns his attention back to Bobby and takes a deep breath.

- Yeah, yeah, I can hear you.-

-Good, how long until you get back?-

Dean checks his watch.

- I’m a little far, it would take about 18 hours from where I am to you, I probably won’t make it there without stopping or two on the way. -

Bobby sighs, sounding tired and Dean thinks he might have heard a ‘shit’: - Okay, but you’re going to talk to your son and calm him down, because I’m on the verge of a breakdown! -

The line goes dead and Dean knows he's been put on hold.

"Who was that?" Cass asked, taking another sip of his milkshake.

"Oh, it was just Bobby, he's taking care of Jack for me."

"Is that your dad?" He offers the milkshake back, and Dean laughs when he realizes that half of his sugary drink has already been taken by the angel.

"You could say that." Dean finishes his milkshake and takes out his wallet to leave money on the table. "So, I need to get home, but I'm not leaving you empty-handed. I know you said you didn't want anything from me, but..."

"I'm sorry about that..."

"Huh?"

Castiel sighs and wipes his hands on a napkin before getting up from his chair.

"I've had some time to think about what I said that day, you just wanted to help, and I was rude, I'm sorry, Dean."

The Winchester opened and closed his mouth like an idiot fish, he didn't remember the last time someone apologized to him before, I mean, there were a few times, but... well, Dean had always been a little cruel to Cass, and he understood if the angel was angry, of course he did, but... he didn't know how to react to Cass's apology, he didn't understand why the angel was apologizing in the first place, anyway, Dean needed to answer something so he did what he did best, he answered with humor.

"Hah, how cute, Cass, did you go to therapy during our time apart?"

The blue eyes looked softly in his direction, and Dean didn't know how to react to that, so he just smiled arrogantly and looked away.

"I had a lot of time to think, I also had a long talk with two nosy teenagers that I saved before I met you again..."

"The kids from Anna's case?" He asked surprised.

“Yeah, Adhi and Sarah, good kids, were worried I had a concussion after I threw up and nearly passed out when Anna left.”

“Huh!?” He stood up from his chair, the phone forgotten, and all eyes now focused on the angel and human duo, Dean couldn’t help but be grateful that there were only drunks and an exhausted waitress to witness their conversation. “Cass, did you get sick? Why? What happened…”

“It was just emotional, Dean.” He stated it as a fact, a very stupid fact, who fainted from too much emotion? That was shit that only happened in cartoons!

“Who said such nonsense, Cass?”

He shrugged, “Collins, she was the one who diagnosed me.”

Dean was about to question who Collins was, but the phone chirped, and it was clear that Bobby had come back on the line with Jack.

“Let’s go to the car, Cass, we’ll finish this conversation at the motel.” He said with the phone to his ear and turned to leave the diner without waiting for Castiel.

-Jack, hey, baby, are you okay, kid?- Of course there was no answer other than a sad baby sniffle that broke Dean’s heart. - Hey, baby, what’s wrong, why are you crying? -

The sound of Jack whimpering got closer, and Dean assumed that the boy had stolen the phone from Bobby’s hands.

 - Listen, I’m not going to be able to come to you right now…- There was a whimper on the other end of the line, and Dean knew that Jack was understanding everything Dean was saying, so he continued. - Shh, shh, baby, let me finish talking, okay. I can’t come to you today, I’m tired and too far from home, but I need you to be strong, okay? Bobby needs you to stop crying, or he's going to lose his mind, so I want you to be a strong little boy and hold on until I get to you, okay? Can you do that for me? -

The whining stopped, but Dean could still hear Jack's anguished sobs, it was like being back in the past, with Sammy sick in a motel room and Dean having to calm him down to get his little brother to stop whining because Dean was just going to buy some medicine at the pharmacy, and he'd be right back.

- Look, let's make a deal, okay? I know you can understand me, so let's talk man to man now, what do you say I bring you a box of Nougat cereal? - Silence, Jack was still sniffling, but the crying and sobbing stopped. - It might take me longer to find your cereal, but it's worth it, don't you think? -

There's no answer from Jack, of course, but Bobby speaks again.

- I think the little god accepted your offering, Dean. – The Winchester smiled in relief. – Although I'm curious, isn't he a little too young for cereal? –

Dean snorts and rolls his eyes, what kind of silly question is that? Sam has eaten cereal his whole life and never caused any problems.

-Relax, Bobby, Sammy loved cereals when he was Jack's age and just look at him, the guy looks like a bull, big and strong! Jack will be fine.-

- I don't know if I believe that, son. -

- Come on, trust me – He rolled his eyes – I've been feeding Sammy cereal since he was 7 months old, Jack will be fine. –

- Speaking of Sam, have you talked to him yet? –

Dean bites his lip and leans his back against the car.

- Not yet…-

- Dean…-

- I know, okay. – His hands rub his face, and Dean feels the weight of fatigue return with full force. – He should be the first person I should look for, but… but there’s still a long time before things go wrong, okay, I just want to give him more time of peace and normalcy…-

Bobby sighed on the other end of the line and just mumbled a brief ‘okay’ before hanging up the phone.

“Dean?” Cass suddenly called, Dean didn’t even notice the angel standing behind him until he spoke.

“Oh, hey Cass.”

“You look exhausted.

Dean shrugged and gestured to the open door of the Impala: “Just need some sleep, get in, let’s go back to the motel.”

 Cass wished he understood Dean better.

Watching the man drum his fingers on the steering wheel, Cass thought he might have rediscovered a little anxious habit of Dean’s. I mean, in his mind little flashes of the green-eyed man come back to Cass, flashes of moments where Dean hummed a song or tapped his fingers to a musical rhythm.

The Winchester's jaw is also tense, Cass worries that he'll break his teeth if he keeps clenching his jaw like that, but decides not to say anything. In the last week they've spent together, he's learned a lot about Dean's preference not to talk about what he's feeling. Cass actually preferred it that way, too, since he himself doesn't know what he's feeling most of the time.

The car - Baby, as Dean insisted on calling it - stopped in the motel parking lot and they both got out. They went to the room they shared and didn't say anything to each other until they lay down to sleep. Well, Dean lay down to sleep. Castiel preferred to sit at the table and text his 'brothers'. On his phone, there were Gabriel, Balthazar, Dean, Bobby and 'Angelic Care Network'. Dean had named the last one on his contact list.

He sent a message to Balthazar. Gabriel didn't like Cass sending him too many messages and rarely responded to him. Balthazar didn't either, but he was easier to talk to than Gabriel.

- I think Dean is hurt, but I don't know why. – He sent the message.

- … - The three dots disappeared and then came back before the message reached Cass. – Fuck, what do I have to do with this? –

Cass started writing again: - What can I do to make him happy? –

- … … … -

It was two minutes of waiting playing Bounce – a ball game that Dean introduced to Cass – before Balthazar responded with a very long text that seemed to have many words with sexual connotations.

- I refuse to read such a long message. Sum it up. –

- … … - Another minute and finally Cass got a response. – Fuck him. –

Without blinking, Cass left the conversation and deleted Balthazar's number.

- Gabriel. – He sent it to his 'brother'. – Dean is sad, what can I do to help him. –

It took two hours for Cass to get a response, but he didn't care, it wasn't often that he needed to sleep and playing Bounce was a lot of fun and kept Cass entertained.

- I should tell you to fuck off or tell you to do something horrible, but I'm getting a new lease on life and I decided to try to be less of a son of a bitch. – Cass doesn't know if he understood what Gabriel meant by that. - … Anyway, call the Winchester to do something to distract his mind, go shopping or something.

He planned to send more messages asking Gabriel about what to do and maybe be able to pressure his 'brother' for more answers, but Gabriel seems to have blocked Cass.

"Hm." He grumbled, looking around the room for something Dean would like and that Cass could use to cheer him up.

There was pie, but they already had pie, Cass remembered to get dessert before they left the diner.

There was Jack and this Sammy guy, probably both Dean's children, Cass doesn't know if there was any way to buy children, but he doesn't think Dean needs more children, he looks pretty tired with only two.

In addition to pie and his children, Dean also liked Baby, but Cass couldn't offer Dean another car, something told her it would be a great offense to the Winchester, however...

"Dean, Dean..." The man grumbled and sat on the bed with his eyes still closed and sleepy. "Hello Dean."

"Tell me what you want, or I'll throw you on the floor..." He looked like a growling bear, Cass found him very adorable.

"I want a car."

"Huh?"

Chapter Text

AMMY

Cass was counting out a large wad of fifties. After waking up, Cass managed to convince Dean to drive around town to access different ATMs and withdraw enough cash to buy a car. Gabriel wasn’t specific enough about what to take Dean to buy, but Cass thought a car would be a great option. Dean seemed very excited and talked nonstop about all the cars Cass would love.

Even though it was only 6 in the morning, the dealership was already open and looked good enough for Cass to buy her first vehicle. The stickers on the various windshields in the parking lot advertised “low prices!” and “moving fast!” To him, the stickers made no sense, but Dean said it was just advertising. Since it was early, they were the only ones on the property, and there was a small group of men in cheap suits watching them closely. They looked very professional. Cass particularly liked an older man in a trench coat. He looked very comfortable.

“Okay, Cass, we’re here. What’s up?” Dean asked with a big smile, his eyes darting from car to car. Cass didn’t really understand Dean’s fondness for vehicles. To him, they all looked pretty much the same, with only the colors and number of doors changing. But he wanted to cheer Dean up, so he would try his best to pick a good enough one. He squinted at the cars and assessed how comfortable each one looked. The first one Cass saw was a 1970 Ford F-series pickup truck. He didn’t really understand what that meant or why Dean seemed to think it was a good car. I mean, Cass had taken the truck for a test drive—after Dean had reminded him which pedals to press and what the lever was for—and he hadn’t liked it one bit. First, the truck smelled bad and was very noisy. Second, the seats were made of cloth and were uncomfortable. Cass wanted something more airy and with leather seats. “Well, let’s look at some others, there are plenty to choose from.” The salesman in the trench coat said cheerfully, he seemed like a very friendly gentleman with his big smile and comfortable clothes, Cass really liked the man's outfit.

The next car was a 1967 Ford Mustang, it was a 'classic car, with an unmistakable roar and acceleration that keeps you in the seat. It's the kind of car that makes you feel alive every time you step on the gas' was what Dean had said when he showed the vehicle to Cass, it must be true because the salesman looked surprised and nodded in agreement.

"I don't know, Dean, the color is too flashy..."

They both looked at the sky blue color of the Mustang, Dean studied it for a moment and then grimaced.

"Well, it's not really the best color, but don't you want to take it for a spin?" Cass thought for a moment and then shook his head, he hated the color and had a feeling he would hate the rest of the car too. Dean sighed, but his smile remained firmly on his face. "Okay, man, let's get something smaller and colorful then, check out that one over there..."

Dean grabs his hand and drags him to the next vehicle.

"The 1969 Camaro, the perfect rival to the Mustang, with its bold looks and powerful performance, it's the kind of car you drive with a smile on your face. And of course, it's not flashy, it's a nice color, don't you think?"

Cass agrees, it was a nice color indeed, the seats looked comfortable and Cass liked how easy it was to drive, but there was one small problem with this car.

"Dean, it doesn't seem like there's enough room in the back."

The Winchester and the salesman in the trench coat frowned and turned to look at Cass.

"Yeah, man, so what? I mean, you're just one, you don't need a lot of space."

"But what about you?"

Dean frowned.

"I have my own car?" He answered looking confused, Cass guessed he'd have to word his answer better.

“But what if I need to take Jack? Or Sam? Or the people I rescue while hunting...” Dean cut him off with a wave of his hand.

“Okay, okay, I get it, let’s try another one then.”

They pass by many cars and even when the vehicle fits Castiel’s standards he still doesn’t feel satisfied, when the clock strikes 8 o’clock Cass thinks about giving up, he wanted Dean to smile again, and he already achieved that feat, but as soon as he thought about telling the Winchester Cass saw something that made him stop.

A two-wheeled vehicle with leather seats. It looked like a very strange car, but flashy, it caught Cass’s attention like no other vehicle before.

“Dean?” He called, his friend turned away from the conversation with the salesman in the trench coat and walked over to Cass.

“Hey, man, what’s up? Did something catch your eye?”

He waves and then points. The Winchester looks where Cass pointed, and his eyes widen a little.

“A motorcycle, seriously?”

“Motorcycle?”

Dean rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling.

“That’s a Honda Shadow 750. The Shadow is a reliable motorcycle with a stunning design that turns heads. It has enough power for any adventure and is reasonably comfortable for long trips.” Cass nodded, feeling delighted by the new thing called a ‘motorcycle’. Dean looked between Cass and the vehicle and grimaced. “Seriously, man? So many amazing options and you prefer a motorcycle? What about all the talk about needing a spacious vehicle?” He hadn’t really thought about that, or about the practicality of this ‘motorcycle’ type of vehicle, but Cass had liked it, and he wanted nothing more than the ‘Shadow’.

The salesman cleared his throat and the pair turned to see what he wanted: “If I may, there’s a good price on that bike and if you want to take it, I can always give you a discount on the sidecar.”

“What’s a ‘sidecar’?” Dean was grimacing again, so Cass could only assume that the Winchester wasn’t too fond of this ‘sidecar’ thing. “I’ll bring it to you, gentlemen, in a minute.”

As soon as the man in the trench coat is out of reach, Dean turns to Cass.

“Seriously? How do you expect to hunt if there’s no room for you to store your stuff?”

He shrugs and replies, “I don’t need weapons, and I have very few clothes, a single backpack will do for me.”

“What about dead bodies? And if you ever need to carry a body, how are you going to do that?”

“Well, I can always strap it to the back, there seems to be plenty of room on the bench for two people.”

The salesman returns with a small two-wheeler, it’s the same color as the bike and looks comfortable enough to fit a child or two; Cass believes Sammy and Jack will fit perfectly if he needs to take them on a trip.

As much as Dean doesn’t like Cass’s choice, he doesn’t complain. He haggles, that’s the part he’s good at, he saves the angel about a thousand dollars, but there’s a lot of paperwork and weird packages that seem too good to be true. Cass’s obtuse way of responding to the salesmen’s offers doesn’t get them anywhere, so eventually Dean has to take over and start barking instructions at the old man in the trench coat to stop trying to get them to spend any more money. They leave after almost two hours.

“If you wreck this thing, we’ll trade it for a car, okay? And I’ll get to choose.”

The angel agrees, but doesn’t seem convinced that Dean is serious.

“I won’t crash it, I’m a moderately competent driver.”

Considering that the angel had driven a few cars to test the engine and managed not to crash any of them, Dean thinks the angel might be right. That doesn’t mean Dean is confident that Cass can ride a motorcycle, I mean, the guy didn’t even know what a motorcycle was, how did he expect to ride one?

“So… do you even know how to drive this thing?”

“No.” It’s the simple and honest answer, Dean doesn’t know why he thought he would get a better answer. “But you can teach me how to drive she, I’m a quick learner.”

“She?”

Cass nodded and picked up the helmet he had bought, it was black and nothing special, it covered his entire face and had a dark visor.

“You call your car Baby, I thought I should name mine too.” He put the helmet on and Dean licked his lips, it sucked, Cass looked very attractive dressed in one of Dean’s jackets, black jeans and boots.

“Well, and what did you decide to name 'she'?” The angel climbs on the bike, somehow that makes him even more attractive, shit, Dean needed to concentrate.

“Amnesia.”

“Huh?”

“The name is Amnesia. Just Ammy for short.”

Dean can’t help himself, he laughs.

“Damn, that’s a good name.”

“I know, I thought about it a lot while we were signing the papers.” He picked up the other helmet he had bought and handed it to Dean. “Take a ride with me, Dean?”

Dean looked at where he had parked the Baby at the end of the street, and then at Cass. He still needed to buy Jack’s cereal and Cass needed someone to instruct him on how to ride, it was two birds with one stone, right?

“Fuck, why not?” The helmet was on, Dean threw his bag into the sidecar and sat on the back of the bike to hold onto Cass’ waist.

“Fuck.” Dean cursed teasingly. “You look hot, Cass, was buying the bike a masterstroke to win my poor heart?”

Cass rolled her eyes at Dean and closed her visor, her face flushed, but he was undeniably smiling. “Compliments won’t erase the faces you made at my Ammy.”

“Oh, come on.”

“Dean, that’s…” The Winchester didn’t even need to look before denying it.

“No, Cass, that’s not cereal.”

“But it’s in a colorful box.”

Dean smiled, he’d done a lot of that today, and it was only 9 in the morning.

He and Cass rode the angel’s bike a few times before stopping at the grocery store. Dean had called Bobby and asked if there were still enough diapers and milk, so he was getting what Jack needed and left Cass with the seemingly impossible mission of getting a box of cereal.

“Just because the box is colorful doesn’t mean it’s cereal, man. How hard is it, I mean, it says Nougat in big, colorful letters, you can’t miss it.”

Cass nodded and went back to give him back the laundry detergent he’d taken.

It took a while for them to leave the store, even though Dean had only grabbed a pack of soft diapers and some soft cloths to use as shirts for Jack. He tried to help Cass find the cereal, but the angel was pretty stubborn about finding it on his own, and it took him almost half an hour.

“Cass, we have to go, how hard is it to find cereal?” There were no answers, Cass must have been focused on the most difficult mission of his life, finding Nougat’s.

“Your wife?” A girl a little older than Dean, maybe 28 or 30, asked, she seemed quite friendly and also carried a basket with diapers and milk.

“What?” He looks at the cereal aisle and then at the woman next to him. “Oh, well, no… it’s a little complicated, actually…”

She nods with a smile: “Let me guess, teenage parents? I understand honey, I was a young mother too, I won’t judge you, although I must admit it’s pretty rare to see a father accompanying his mother shopping, it’s usually just us women.”

Dean rubbed the back of his neck, starting to feel a little embarrassed by the attention.

“Well, I’ve been babysitting my little brother forever, so I’ve kind of learned a thing or two about babies, but this isn’t for my son, actually, my friend recently had a baby, and I’m just helping him take care of it.” She arched her eyebrow and a flicker of understanding dawned, though Dean had no idea what she seemed to understand.

“Oh, I see, your ‘friend’, Cass?”

He arched his eyebrow, a little confused by her tone. “Yeah, he…”

“Dean, is that Nougat?” The woman glanced at Dean and Cass and then smiled brightly before quickly saying goodbye and rushing off to the line. “Who was the weird lady?”

Dean rolled his eyes and tried to hide the blush that burned his cheeks, he understood what the woman was saying, he and Cass looked like a gay couple shopping for their kid and Dean’s explanation just made it sound like he was trying to justify himself, damn it.

“Nobody important.” He changed the subject by taking one of the six boxes of cereal from Cass's basket. "Why so many boxes, Cass?"

The angel shrugged: "You asked me to get the cereal, but you didn't specify how many, so I brought six."

"Why six specifically?"

"I'm afraid of prime numbers." He answered seriously, but there was a smile on his face.

Dean raised an eyebrow in amusement, he didn't know where Cass's mood suddenly came from. His friend shrugged and said: "I talked to Uriel, I couldn't find the cereal."

"Couldn't it have been Gabriel or Balthazar? Why Uriel?"

"Gabriel blocked me."

"What about Balthazar?"

"I blocked him."

Dean wouldn't question it, each one with the strange family they deserve, he wouldn't judge.

"And what, Uriel only agreed to help you?" He asked in surprise and stopped behind a man carrying boxes of beer in the line.

“No, but I was quite insistent, he cursed me a bit, but he was very helpful and told me where to find the cereal.”

The line moved and they followed.

“I also told you where to find the cereal.”

“No, you pointed to the aisle where you thought the cereal would be, I need precise instructions Dean, not just ‘That aisle over there, in the middle of the shelf on that side.’”

Okay, maybe Dean should have explained himself better. They put the products on the conveyor belt and the attendant starts passing the groceries without paying attention to the two.

“After all, what did Uriel do that triggered your joke?” He asked, putting the groceries in a paper bag.

Cass shrugged: “I just remembered it while we were talking, it came to me suddenly, I wanted to use it to make you laugh.”

Dean smiled and handed Cass the bag before handing the cash to the clerk and leading Cass out of the store with an arm slung over his shoulder. He planned on just following the angel to his bike and then heading back to the motel to get his stuff, but something in the store window caught his eye.

“Why don’t you go on ahead, buddy, I’ll catch you in a minute?”

“Where are you going now, Dean?”

They returned to the motel, Cass only had a bag of clothes that Dean had lent him and a pistol that he would hardly use, but that served to calm Dean’s nerves.

“Well, I have a long trip ahead of me, so I’m going to drive non-stop to Bobby’s house in Sioux Falls.” The Winchester closed the trunk and gave Cass a hesitant look. “I wasn’t planning on asking, but… if you want to come…”

Cass looks at him regretfully, her perpetually chapped lips stretching into a small smile: “Thanks, Dean, but I still have this feeling that I need to do something before I meet Jack.”

“Okay, I understand…” Cass knows he doesn’t understand, but that’s okay, because Cass doesn’t understand where this feeling that there’s something he needs to do comes from either. “Well, that’s it then… See you later, Cass.”

“Goodbye, Dean.”

The Winchester's breath catches, Dean's eyes shine with tears and Cass worries that he said something wrong, he steps forward to apologize, and a beige fabric hits his face.

"Hm." Cass holds the fabric away to get a better look at it, it was a beige overcoat... he lets out a sigh when he realizes that the piece of clothing is familiar. "Dean?"

He calls, curious to know where the feeling of familiarity with the overcoat comes from, but when he looks up, the Winchester has already left the parking lot.

In the distance, Cass can see that Dean has tears in his eyes and red cheeks, it breaks his heart to see his friend so sad about his goodbye, but it warms his chest to know that Dean went out of his way to give Cass a gift.

With bated breath he takes off his jacket and puts on the overcoat, the weight of the clothes feels nice on his shoulders and Cass feels like things are better now. He smiles to himself as he watches Dean leave.

Chapter Text

-Hi, Cass.-

-Hello, Dean.-

The Winchester smiled at the familiar greeting. He had arrived at Bobby's house less than two hours ago. One hour was spent listening to the older hunter's sermon, and another hour convincing Jack that eating Nogaut cereal so late at night wasn't a good idea. Now Bobby was sleeping in the panic room with his bazooka, and Dean was upstairs pacing back and forth until Jack fell asleep on his shoulder, with his small wings firmly wrapped around his own body.

-How are you, Dean?-

-I'm fine. I mean, I'm exhausted and got a sermon from Bobby, but I'm fine. Jack too. - Dean adjusted the winged baby on his shoulder, holding him so he wouldn't fall. -And you?-

-I'm in Louisiana. Hunting something called a Kappa.-

Dean frowned and looked at his phone. -How can you be in Louisiana? We separated less than 19 hours ago! At what speed are you driving that bike, Cass?-

The angel huffed on the other end of the line, seemingly holding back laughter.

-I drive Ammy at a perfectly acceptable speed, Dean, don't worry.-

He rolled his eyes at Cass's tone and walked to sit on the bed.

-Alright then, Mr. 'McQueen'.- He heard Cass softly say 'Who?', but pretended to ignore it. He couldn't remember at the moment, but he was almost sure the Disney movie didn't exist yet. -Anyway, tell me how exactly you got across the country in less than a few hours?-

-Well, someone from heaven sent me coordinates that led somewhere, but I didn't know how to follow the coordinates, so I asked them to send one of them to show me the way.-

Dean bit his lip to hold back laughter. His body was trembling from his failed attempt, and Dean had to lay Jack on the bed to avoid waking the baby.

-Dean? Dean, are you okay?-

He wiped a tear of laughter from his eyes and replied, -Damn, Cass, you have to warn me when you're going to say something like that.-

-I don't understand.-

A smile appeared on his face, and Dean felt like an idiot. There was Cass trying to be serious about something, and here was Dean laughing and smiling like a teenager talking to their first crush.

-Sorry, it's just...- He gestured even though Cass couldn't see. -Anyway, it's just funny that you hitched a ride in the angel taxi.-

A soft 'Oh' sounded from the phone, and Dean could almost imagine Cass standing in the middle of the street looking amazing in his trench coat and waving at his own phone.

-It was a very interesting experience. Flying was like riding a motorcycle, fast and refreshing.-

Dean's heart ached a bit at that statement. Cass sounded very excited saying that. Dean didn't know much about Castiel's life before falling to Earth, but he imagined it made sense for an angel to miss flying.

-Dean? Are you there?- Jack's wings fluttered as Cass spoke. The little antichrist must have been reacting to the angel's voice. Dean smiled.

He sighed and hid his guilt with a laugh. -I'd like to say I understand what you mean about enjoying flying, but I'm terrified of heights. Although, now I'm a bit worried. You said you were driving Ammy responsibly, but, Cass, if riding the bike is almost like flying, at what speed are you driving?-

Silence on the phone line, and then Cass replied, -I have to go now, Dean. I think the Kappa I was warned about is about to attack someone. Goodbye, Dean.-

The angel hung up, and Dean fell back on the bed next to Jack with a silly smile on his face. It was very good to talk to Cass, even better to know that his friend was okay and alive.

That night, resting was easy.

-And then it turned out to be the sister all along.- He finished recounting his last case while relaxing his sore body in the motel bathtub. He had fled from Bobby the previous night, promising the hunter he would tell him everything he could remember about hunting gods, demons, and other supernatural beings, but first, Dean needed to run to Connecticut. He had been back in the past for almost two weeks and still hadn't gone to hunt the poltergeist his father had sent him after. Imagine his surprise when John Winchester called in the morning to yell about the poltergeist still haunting an old farm and Dean simply letting it happen.

The case should have been simple, so he didn't mind taking Jack with him. The boy needed to get out a bit, and Bobby needed some time to recover from holding the new God in his arms. When they arrived at the farm, Dean expected to be attacked by a supernatural creature that murdered men, but instead, he encountered a crazy woman trying to kill all the men in the family so her father would pass the farm to her. It was madness to discover that the victims' own sister had killed them all.

-That hunt sounds exhausting, Dean. How are you?-

Jack sighed, and Dean smiled, satisfied with the feeling of peace he was experiencing. The boy was with him in the bath. Dean had tried to make him sleep to have a moment of relaxation in the bathtub, but the baby was very insistent on taking another bath. Now the boy floated serenely in the water with his golden wings stretched out, occupying half the bathtub space.

-I can't say I'm great, but really, the fact that a human girl did all that...- He took a deep breath and swallowed hard. -Well, I was unprepared, you know. We haven't dealt with crazy humans in a while. I wasn't prepared to remember their capacity for cruelty like that.-

There was a moment of silence, and Dean worried he had said something wrong. A few minutes passed, and Cass still hadn't responded, but Dean didn't hang up the phone. He left the phone on the floor next to the bathtub and pulled Jack closer, laying the baby on his chest.

"Hey, kid, what do you think? Do humans have any hope of salvation?"

Do I have any hope of salvation?

No answer. Dean didn't know exactly when babies should start talking, but he remembered Sam trying to talk at 10 months. Jack, however, was a very quiet baby, crying a lot but quiet. Sometimes he made a sound or two, but it didn't seem like he would start talking soon.

The chubby hand of the baby came out of the water and touched Winchester's smooth chest, Jack observing Dean's smooth skin with a confused expression.

"What is it? Surprised I still have firm muscles?" Dean gently poked Jack's sides to tickle the boy, who laughed and flapped his wings, splashing water everywhere. "You know, I could have a body like this at 40 too. You just need to snap your fingers and change the aging process a bit. What do you think?"

Again, no answer, but Jack was now laughing without Dean needing to tickle him, so the boy certainly understood what Dean was saying.

He looked at his phone and waited a few more minutes before hanging up. Cass simply left and forgot to say goodbye. Dean tried not to take it personally and went back to trying to relax in the bathtub with Jack.

-Look who decided to show up,- he mocked. He didn't want to, he really didn't want to be petty about Cass's last call, but Dean couldn't help it. He was tired and couldn't rest because he was worried sick about an angel who didn't even bother to say goodbye before leaving Dean talking to himself on the phone!

Despite being upset, Dean kept his voice low. Jack was sleeping in his travel seat, and he really didn't need to wake the baby now.

-Sorry to bother you...- Cass apologized uncertainly, his hoarse voice calming Dean's nerves. Dean needed to be more understanding and calm with his friend. He easily forgot that Cass didn't remember him as before. To him, Dean was a stranger, and yet the angel talked to him. Dean needed to be better than that.

He sighed. -No, I'm sorry. I wasn't nice to you. My bad, Cass.-

-It's okay, Dean.-

They didn't know where to go after apologizing. Honestly, Dean wasn't used to apologizing, but he was living a new life, and it wouldn't make sense to continue being the same jerk he was in his previous life. Dean had already stopped drinking and was trying to enjoy the small miracles he had now, like Bobby and Cass's presence, or the constant company of little Jack.

-So...- Dean began hesitantly. The Impala glided smoothly down the road, and Dean tried to calm himself with the soft purr of his car's engine. -What do you need?-

-Well...- Cass seemed unsure where to start. There was a hesitation in his friend's voice that Dean didn't remember hearing before. -Well, I just wanted to know if...-

-If? - Silence again. - Cass?-

No response. Dean gritted his teeth and gripped the steering wheel to keep the tears of frustration from escaping his eyes. He hated feeling so emotional since he came back. In those moments, he just wanted his brother by his side to hug him and say some cheesy line from one of Sam's chick flicks.

-Cass?- He called one last time. If the angel didn't respond, Dean would hang up.

Two minutes passed, and Dean finally thought about hanging up, but Cass spoke again. -Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts. Are you still there, Dean?-

-Yes, yes, I'm still here. What's up, Cass?-

There was a pause and then a sigh, as if Cass was giving up. For a moment, Dean worried that he would hang up, but Cass spoke again: -It was nothing, just... there's a haunted cinema here in New Orleans. I managed to guide the ghost to the 'other side' and took the chance to watch Attack of the Clones. I remember you mentioning something about this movie.-

That wasn't what Castiel wanted to say. Dean felt there was something more the angel wanted to say, but he didn't press his friend to talk. Dean just rubbed his face, checked Jack in the rearview mirror, and decided to talk about what Cass wanted to talk about.

-Ugh, of all the Star Wars movies for your first, it had to be that one?- He said, adding a touch of humor and teasing to his voice. He could only hope it was enough to calm Cass. -Wait, was the cinema still open when you were hunting the ghost?-

He heard his friend sigh in relief and allowed himself to relax, feeling more confident that the call wouldn't be disconnected.

-No, but I figured out how to operate the projector after I got rid of the ghost.- Cass was chewing something. Dean guessed it was popcorn, or maybe peanuts. -I told the owner I was a psychic, and he just let me in.-

-I thought you didn't like lying?- He teased with a soft smile on his face.

-I don't, but I believe it was safer to tell lies than to speak directly. Sometimes people may not be ready for a direct conversation.-

Dean didn't like the implication of that sentence. Was Cass lying to him about something? Did he think Dean wasn't ready for some conversation? No, that was ridiculous. Dean was just being ridiculous.

-Are you eating something now?- He changed the subject.

-Apparently, popcorn is very cheap to make. I don't know why they charge so much when you watch movies, but I helped myself.- Cass took a sip of Coca-Cola. Dean identified the drink when he heard Cass hum while drinking. For some reason, the angel preferred sodas and tea over beer, and they were always dark-colored or purple sodas. -I think they also have Spider-Man here. Should I give the movie a chance?-

Dean smiled.

-Definitely, Cass. You're more of a Peter Parker than an Anakin, I guarantee. All we need is a pair of glasses. Maybe a red and blue spandex.- He tried to sound flirty, but he sounded more tired than charming.

-You sound tired, Dean.-

-Really, Sherlock.- Cass softly said 'Who?', which brought an easy smile to Dean's face. -I couldn't sleep. I was...-

I was worried about you. He wanted to tell the angel, to make him understand how much Dean cared about him, but Winchester preferred to keep it to himself. Cass seemed not to trust him. Dean couldn't keep acting this way with Castiel. It would be like saying he didn't believe in Cass's ability to survive...

-Dean?-

-Anyway, are you enjoying the movie?-

The angel sighed. Dean could feel his friend's disappointment, and it hurt. -I should hang up.-

No, no, no...

-Cass...-

Come on, Winchester, ask him not to hang up, please...

-Yes?-

Stay, please, don't hang up. He thought, but didn't say. Instead, all he said was, -Good night, Cass.-

-Good night, Dean.-

The 'beep' after the call ended echoed through the empty Impala, and now Dean was alone again... He wanted his brother by his side, he wanted Cass and Jack, but all Dean had now were empty seats and a baby who couldn't talk to him...

"Damn."

Chapter Text

It's a funny feeling. After Dean left, Cass was lost again, but there was still that feeling of being pulled somewhere, so that's what he did, Cass rode his motorcycle at high speed and enjoyed the wind in his face and the constant feeling of euphoria.

Everything was fine during the first few hours of driving, he had good reflexes and even though he was going above the speed limit he never hit other cars, but it was when he passed next to a truck that things changed. There was a scream and Castiel was surprised, which made his motorcycle skid across the road. He rolled on the asphalt and barely registered the pain of his injuries, too busy suffering from the headache.

There were flashes of red and black flashing in his eyes, there was blood and fire, there was a disgusting smell and a lot of screaming. Cass was disoriented, he didn't know where he was or what was happening, it seemed like a nightmare, but they were memories.

'Help! Sammy!’ It was Dean’s voice, Cass realized, feeling his head hurt even more, Dean was somewhere lost in the middle of that nightmare and Cass couldn’t find him, it was impossible, there were too many screams to know where Dean’s screams were coming from, everything was too dark for Cass to see either.

A heavy hand grabbed his shoulders and there was someone trying to talk to him, Cass couldn’t see properly and was feeling a lot of headache, he just wanted things to calm down and for the man to stop yelling at him.

“Archangel Cassiel, pull yourself together!” A cold voice ordered, it wasn’t the same voice as before, it sounded like two different people.

“Who are you? What’s going on?” A dark-skinned woman in a black suit was standing above him, she looked very intimidating.

“I’m Raphael, we’ve met before.”

Cass doesn't know what this means, but his visions are getting worse, and now he can feel something burning on his back, it was hurting, hurting a lot...

"What is this? What is happening to me?"

"You are recovering memories, bad memories, the worst ones will come first, this is the result of years under Naomi's surveillance, of course the Void also has a hand in this, but..." Raphael waves his hand unpretentiously, she seems to be a very strange woman, Cass doesn't know if he likes her, but he doesn't care about that at the moment, because his back feels like it is being burned, and he can't stand the pain anymore. "Anyway, I believe you are in pain, so I will finish my work and I hope I never have to see you again."

The woman extended her hand and Cass tried to back away, he doesn't understand what she intends to do and by the tone of Raphael's voice she doesn't like him very much, unfortunately it seems that she doesn't have much patience, because she holds Cass's neck and forces him to stay still. When contact is made, Cass feels the pain slowly disappear and then closes his eyes. Little by little the screams become muffled and the pain in his back diminishes, but does not disappear, as if there was still a ghost fire burning everything. His eyes open, and he is back to reality, no more flashes of memories and no more screams. He looks up and Raphael is standing next to Gabriel, both seeming indifferent to his current state. "What did you do?" Raphael shrugs and disappears into thin air. Gabriel sighs and rubs his forehead before reaching out to Castiel and helping him up. "What did she do? Why is she here?" The other man rolls his eyes and snaps his fingers, Cass steps back expecting to be teleported somewhere else, but all that changes is the state of his clothes and his bike getting better. "You're welcome, little brother, how are you feeling?" Cass frowns and picks up his ‘angel sword’ (it was a silly name, but Dean said that’s what they called it).

“Oh, sure, let’s play with knives, that’ll be interesting, I mean, I was expecting a hug and a ‘thanks, Gabe’, but that’s okay, we can do it your way.” Another snap of his fingers and Cass is now tied up with chains and sitting on the floor in front of Gabriel.

“What was that, and what did you do to me!?”

Gabriel rolls his eyes and sits next to Castiel, the road is empty, and unfortunately no truck will pass by and run over Gabriel.

“Listen, Cassie boy, I didn’t do anything to you other than try to save you, capisci?”

“Then what…”

“They were memories, silly, bad memories, really bad if you were suffering so much from them.” There was a mocking tone in Gabriel’s voice, but Castiel could see concern in the other man’s eyes.

“Who was that woman?” He asked, taking advantage of the fact that Gabriel hadn’t run away yet, and left him without answers.

“That’s Raphael, our older brother, be grateful that he came down here to help you, from up there I could see how disturbed you were, I mean, one of your heads was even…” He trailed off, something Castiel was grateful for, because he wasn’t understanding anything his ‘brother’ was saying. “Sorry, you have no memories, I forget, you probably don’t even know how many heads you have…”

His eyes narrowed, and his head tilted, his ‘brother’ was very confusing, wasn’t it obvious that Cass only had one head?

“Anyway, Cassie, I have a new mission for you, usually I would assign you to more important things like preventing the apocalypse or something like that, but since the little boss took over, we haven’t had so many problems of this level… at least not yet.” He whispered the last part, Cass is really too tired to try to understand right now.

His phone beeps in his pocket and Gabriel smiles.

“See, Balthy has already sent the coordinates.” He snaps his fingers and Cass is freed from his restraints. “Well, since everything has been resolved, then…”

They both fall to the ground when Castiel knocks his ‘brother’ down and presses his ‘angelic sword’ against Gabriel’s chest. The other man doesn’t seem the least bit worried or impressed.

“That’s no way to treat your big brother, Cassie…”

“You’re nothing to me, Gabriel.” The man below him’s mouth snaps shut, and his expression turns serious. “I want answers!”

“Too bad, brother, I don’t have any answers for you.”

“Then who does?”

“God.”

“What’s his number?”

Gabriel makes an offended face and throws Cass back.

“Don’t be silly, Cass, God doesn’t have a phone number.”

“And how do I get in touch with him?”

“Pray or, I don’t know, schedule a visit with Mommy Winchester, Dean would love to get you two together.”

Cass’s brow furrowed, and he got up from the floor, Gabriel simply snapped his fingers and appeared standing next to him.

“I don’t get it, does Dean have God’s number?”

Gabriel laughed out loud and shook his head, “No, little brother, Dean has God in his arms, dear Winchester is literally raising the almighty baby.”

Cass didn't know what to say to that, I mean, yes, he knew Jack was that scary source of power that called his name and said Castiel was his father, but he didn't expect it to be God, something in his mind insisted that God didn't look as soft and young as Jack looked.

"Anyway, I've said too much, I'm going to go..."

"Wait!"

Gabriel rolled his eyes, he seemed to be irritated, in fact, Cass could feel that he was irritated, it was a funny feeling, like hearing a growl or feeling the heat of a fire.

"I already said I've said too much, I'm not going to..." Cass interrupted him by showing his phone to his 'brother'. "What the fuck?"

"Coordinates."

He rolled his eyes: "I know, halo boy, but why are you showing me this?"

Cass shrugged and put his phone back in his coat.

"I don't know how to follow these coordinates."

"Of course you do, you've followed them before."

“Yes, but I did it walking or taking a bus, I don’t know how to follow coordinates on a motorcycle, I don’t understand road maps.”

Gabriel arched his eyebrow: “Well, and what do you expect me to do?”

Cass stared at his ‘brother’ fixedly, if he stared long enough he could pretend to see Gabriel’s wings, large, golden wings like the ones he saw in his dreams.

“Can you take me there?”

“Huh?”

- Hi, Cass – Dean's voice sounded softly in his ear, he sounded tired.

It had been a few hours since Gabriel had thrown Cass from the sky into the middle of the river that ran through the city, it was annoying having to swim to the edge, but it only took Cass a few minutes to get out of there. Luckily, Gabriel was kind enough to leave his motorcycle parked on the street near the river and not in the river. When he got out of the water he was helped by fishermen and received some information about a creature called Kappa and that the fishermen were 'sure' that it was brought by a new trade of Japanese fishermen.

- Hello Dean. – He greeted without taking his eyes off the river below him, after moving away from the fishermen, Cass sat on the edge of the Mississippi River to enjoy the breeze and stay dry. - How are you?–

- I'm fine, I mean, I'm exhausted, and I got a lecture from Bobby, but I'm fine, Jack too. And you? -

Cass thinks for a moment before answering, was he okay? He doesn't know, I mean, his current situation is better than it was a few days ago, so he should be fine, right? Anyway, Cass doesn't know the right answer to Dean's question, so he just says: - I'm in Louisiana. Hunting something called Kappa. -

- How can you be in Louisiana, we've been separated for less than 19 hours! How fast are you driving that bike, Cass? -

The angel snorts while holding back a laugh.

- I drive the Ammy at a perfectly acceptable speed, Dean, don't worry.-

- Very well then, Mr. 'Mcqueen' -

Cass looks confused at his phone and mutters a soft: "Who?"

- Anyway, - Dean changes the subject. - Tell me how exactly did you get to the other side of the country in less than a few hours? –

- Well, someone from heaven sent me coordinates that led somewhere, but I didn't know how to follow the coordinates, so I asked one of them to show me the way – It's not the whole truth, but it's not a lie either, Cass was embarrassed by his deplorable situation, he didn't want to make Dean worry so he couldn't let him have his little accident earlier.

On the other end of the line, he heard Dean make some strange sounds and was worried that the Winchester had choked.

- Dean? Dean, are you okay? –

Silence and then a humorous answer: - Damn, Cass, you have to let me know when you're going to say something like that. –

His head tilted in confusion, some fishermen who were passing by gave him a funny look, but they seemed too tired to pay any more attention to Cass.

- I don't understand. –

- Sorry, it's just... Anyway, it's just funny that you hitched a ride in the angels' taxi. –

"Oh." He sighed to himself as he nodded, Dean had found what Cass had said funny, that was good, Cass liked Dean's laugh: - It was a very interesting experience, flying was like riding a motorcycle, fast and refreshing –

There was silence again, the burning in Cass's back returned a little softer than before, but still painful, the silence felt a little cold.

- Dean? Are you there? – A shiver ran down his spine and Cass had the feeling that there was someone else there and was listening to them, his eyes turned to the river, and he decided to keep watch there in case the Kappa showed up by surprise.

There was a sigh on the other end of the line, it seemed sad, but Cass didn't have time to think about it too much, because Dean soon started laughing: - I'd like to say that I understand what you mean about liking to fly, but I'm terrified of heights. Although, now I'm a little worried, you said you were driving the Ammy responsibly, but, Cass, if riding the bike is almost like flying, how fast are you driving? –

Someone suddenly shouted and Cass knew he would have to hang up as soon as possible, which was good, since he didn't want to have to lie to Dean and admit that he might be riding his bike a little too fast.

- I'm going now, Dean, I think the Kappa I was warned is about to attack someone. See you later, Dean. –

- And then it turned out to be the sister all along. – Cass listened to Dean finish telling about his latest case.

The Kappa was easily defeated after Cass hung up the phone, there was a big fight in the water, and he almost lost his beloved coat, but no one got hurt, and he even got a gift from the hunt, all thanks to him saving the life of one of the fishermen's wife, she was a baker and insisted on paying Cass somehow, but he refused to accept money, so he got a whole bag of beignets, they were delicious and he couldn't stop eating them.

Now he was standing outside Miss Diana's bakery, drinking a hot cup of green tea and eating his beignets covered in sugar and lots of honey, while listening intently to Dean telling him about his hunt.

- This hunt seems to have been exhausting Dean, how are you?–

The wind blew cold on his face and Cass managed to sigh in satisfaction, it was a good feeling to be eating something warm and feeling his body cold, everything was even better with the smell of bread coming from Diana's bakery.

- I can't say I'm great, but really, the fact that a human girl did all that... - Dean takes a deep breath and swallows hard. – Well, I was unprepared, you see, we haven't dealt with crazy humans in a while, I wasn't prepared to remember their capacity for cruelty like that.

Dean was talking, Cass could hear him, but he couldn't either, he tried to call for the Winchester a few times, but it was getting harder and more confusing.

His eyes closed to try to focus on Dean's voice, but all he could hear were screams, terrible screams.

He opened his eyes and barely had time to react before dark, stinking shadows jumped on him.

Cass felt scratches and bites, felt himself being touched all over his body, and felt sick and dirty. It was as if disgusting creatures were corrupting and staining everything he was. He was ready to give up and accept that he wouldn't be able to free himself from their disgusting hands, but he heard a familiar sound in the distance.

Someone was crying. Amidst all the screams of pain and evil laughter, there was someone crying.

Something on his back hit the shadows that were trying to hold Castiel, and he finally found the strength to move away from the creatures and approach the place where he could hear the anguished crying. It was a surprise when something bright appeared in the darkness. It was a man, Cass couldn't see him clearly, he was covered in light, but there were some shadowy parts too, small parts, but still noticeable.

He moved a little closer to the small ball of light, all sense of urgency disappeared and Cass felt like things would get better now.

"Hello?" The small man was startled, the white light that covered his entire figure glowed weaker and changed color to purple, it was fascinating to watch. "Don't be afraid, I'm Castiel, I've come to save you."

- Hello Dean. –

It was two in the morning, Cass probably shouldn't have called, but his last memories had stayed in his mind and, even after getting another hunt to keep himself busy, Cass still couldn't stop thinking about everything he saw.

- Look who decided to give a sign of life. – Dean's tone of voice sounded a little rude, Dean must have been upset that Cass had called so late at night.

- Sorry to bother you… - He whispered, feeling embarrassed, he didn't want to wake Dean, he just wanted to hear his voice and make sure everything was okay, the image of Dean Winchester crying and begging for help would be etched in Castiel's mind for many years.

Dean sighed: - No, I'm sorry, I wasn't nice to you, sorry, Cass. –

- It's okay, Dean. –

- So… - Dean began hesitantly. – What do you need? –

- Well... - He hesitates about where to start, should Cass bring up the fact that he remembered Dean at what seemed like the worst moment of his life? Would that cause Dean pain? Cass was just worried and curious, he had so many questions about the past, but he didn't want to risk making Dean remember an unhappy moment... – Well, I just wanted to know if... –

- If? –

Cass bites her tongue and tries to focus on something else, tries not to think about Dean crying, about Dean covered in wounds, tries not to think about how the light that surrounded her friend had almost gone out after they were attacked by the shadows. Cass tries not to think about how her hand grabbed Dean's arm so tightly that it hurt the Winchester.

- Cass? –

- Excuse me, I got lost in my thoughts, are you still there, Dean? –

- Yes, yes, I'm still here. What happened, Cass? –

He paused for a moment and then sighed, Cass couldn't do this, he couldn't ask Dean about what he saw, he also couldn't let Dean know that now whenever Cass thought of Dean he felt his back burn with pain. - It was nothing, just... there's a haunted movie theater here in New Orleans. I managed to guide the ghost to the 'other side' and took the chance to see 'Attack of the Clones', I remember you saying a thing or two about that movie. –

It was a lie, one that Castiel wouldn't be able to keep if Dean asked too many questions, in fact, he was sitting on top of the theater, eating popcorn and drinking Coke while staring at the sky and trying to think about how good it was to fly with Gabriel instead of how much his back hurt.

- Ew, of all the Star Wars movies to be your first, it had to be this one? - He says good-natured, Cass feels like it's fake and feels selfish for being happy that Dean is pretending, he doesn't know how he would react if Dean sounds sad or in pain, he would probably get on his bike and run to the Winchester's side, and Cass wasn't ready to see Jack yet. - Wait, was the theater still open when you were hunting the ghost? -

Damn, he thought, slapping his hand on his forehead, a habit he picked up from Dean, Cass knew that if he kept talking to Dean, the Winchester would soon discover his lie.

-No, but I figured out how to operate the projector after I got rid of the ghost. - It was a half-truth, I mean, he had to learn how to operate the projector to burn the film that kept the ghost trapped in the theater, but that was it.

Nervously, he grabbed a handful of popcorn and put it in his mouth, feeling the need to chew before he started talking too much.

-I told the owner I was a psychic, and he just let me in. - That was also a half-truth, he actually just asked Diana and her husband if there was any haunted place in the city that needed help, they introduced him to the theater owner and the man laughed and said he didn't believe in that 'nonsense', so Cass knocked him out and broke into the theater.

-I thought you didn't like lying? - Dean teased, Cass could hear him drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, it was a nervous tic he discovered the Winchester had, he was probably already worried about Cass.

- I don't like it - He answered honestly - but I think it was safer to tell lies than to speak directly, sometimes people may not be ready for a direct conversation. -

There was silence on the other end of the line before Dean spoke again: - Are you eating anything now? - He changed the subject, and Cass was relieved by that.

- Apparently popcorn is very cheap to make, I don't know why they charge so much when you watch movies, but I helped myself. - Cass takes a sip of Coke and hums contentedly, he would have preferred a grape soda, but they were out of it so he settled for Coke. - I think they also have Spider-Man here, should I give the movie a chance? -

He didn't know if the said Spider-Man movie had been released or not, but there was a big poster above the theater advertising the movie, and Cass remembers Dean liking this colorful man.

- Definitely, Cass. You're more of a Peter Parker than an Anakin, I assure you. All we need is a pair of glasses. Maybe some red and blue spandex. - He sounded tired.

- You look tired, Dean. -

- Swear, Sherlock. -

Cass frowns in confusion: "Who?"

- I couldn't sleep, I was… - He doesn't finish his sentence.

- Dean? -

- Anyway, are you enjoying the movie? -

Cass swallows hard, feeling the guilt of lying starting to consume him, the truth is there is no movie, he wants to say, the truth is that I'm scared of what we've been through together, the truth is that I want to be by your side and keep you safe, I want you to never scream or cry again. That's all Cass wants to say to Dean, but he can't, because he's not ready, and he doesn't want Dean to think he's weak, he doesn't want his friend to think he can't trust Cass's strength to keep him safe.

- I should hang up. – He says to himself with his heart aching, he shouldn't have called.

- Cass…- Dean calls and Cass remembers Dean's voice calling his name in that same way, it was in a different scene from the terrible one where they were surrounded by shadows and fire, it was in a closed and cold place, smelling of dust, and it seemed too small for the two of them to stay, so Cass had to leave him and Dean called his name.

- Yeah? –

Ask me not to hang up and I'll stay, he thinks.

Dean takes a deep breath and Cass feels a little hope, but it doesn't last for long.

- Good night, Cass. –

- Good night, Dean. –

The ‘beep’ after the call ended hurt Cass, and now he was alone again, and all he wanted was the presence of the green-eyed man by his side again.

Chapter Text

JOHN

Meeting his father after so long is... interesting. There are no hugs, tears or words of longing, nothing, in John's defense, because Dean has only been away for a few weeks, while for Dean it has been years. The last time they saw each other, John had his hair and beard starting to turn gray, wrinkles forming on his face and one or two more scars on his face, he was an older man than he is now, and his eyes were full of longing and sadness, his last words were words of love. Looking at the man in front of him now, Dean almost doubts if the John from his memories and this John were the same person.

He and Jack were on their way to Bobby's house when John called, there was some angry cursing for Dean taking so long to do the job, and then there were some orders for Dean to go meet him in a small town in Montana. In his mind, Dean screamed in anger and cursed his father, but in reality all he said was 'Yes sir' and 'Bye sir', before hanging up the phone and banging the steering wheel until one of his fingers broke and Jack began to whimper in fear.

When Dean got to Bobby's house, he went in without saying anything and grabbed a beer, left Jack on the older hunter's lap, opened the beer and got back in the car. Dean drove for another 10 hours without stopping to sleep and a little drunk. Bobby tried to call him, but he ignored him, he needed to go to his father and have a talk with him, he needed his father to stop yelling at him and hug him, because despite everything, Dean still loved him and it was inevitable that he wouldn't.

Of course, nothing goes as planned. As soon as he arrives at the motel where his father was staying, John throws him a shovel and tells Dean to leave his things in the room and follow him to burn some ghosts, apparently John had found a 'rat king' of ghosts, at least 10 or 11 ghosts trapped and causing trouble.

No problem, Dean thinks at first. Okay, I can help him with this hunt, and then we can sit down and talk, I can tell him about what I'm going through, and he can help me...

It takes two weeks for them to find and burn all the ghosts that haunted the house, they don't stop for a minute until the job is done and John invites Dean to drink with him at a nearby bar.

Finally, Dean thinks, maybe now we can talk.

But that doesn't happen, John asks him about what happened to his middle finger, Dean lies, saying it fell off his hand after being thrown off by a ghost. John asks what Dean has been hunting, Dean lies, saying only ghosts and the occasional werewolf. A girl walks by and winks at Dean, she's young and laughing with her friends as she looks at him, Dean is disgusted when the girl waves at him, she must be Claire's age, but he still winks and smiles at her.

"Don't let me get in the way, son." It's the first time his father has called him son in a cheerful tone instead of a serious one. John gives his son two warm pats on the shoulder and gets up to play pool with the other drunks at the bar, he doesn't notice the tears of frustration Dean can't hold back, and he doesn't realize that Dean hasn't even touched his bottle of beer because he wanted to be sober to talk to his father.

Fuck it, Dean thinks, before ordering two more bottles and drinking them all in one go.

Fuck it, Dean thinks as he stumbles out of the bar.

Fuck it, Dean thinks as the pretty girl follows him to the parking lot and flirts with him.

Fuck it, Dean thought after kissing the girl he didn't even know, only to pull away and slam his hand against the wall before telling the frightened girl to go away.

Fuck it, just fuck it.

There wasn't much money in his account, he hadn't been scamming recently, and he didn't plan on spending the money he would have used for gas and diapers, but he was frustrated, angry and tired, so fuck it, he spent it all on drinks and drove to an empty road where he wouldn't be bothered and maybe, if he was lucky, another group of vampires would show up and kill him.

The first bottle of vodka was gone in less than seven minutes, burning his throat and stinging his eyes, a few times he choked and almost had the vodka come back up his nose.

The dizzy feeling makes him happy and makes his heart race, he both loves and hates being drunk, he loves it because there are no worries for a drunk man, and he hates it because there is always something waiting to kill him and Dean can only have faith that he will survive another day after a night of drinking.

The second bottle is whiskey, Black Jack, he stole it, this drink was too expensive to afford. Unlike the first, the second bottle of alcohol takes an hour to finish. He drinks it and vomits, chokes a little on the vomit, and then drinks some more from the bottle. The cycle continues until he starts to feel like he's on the verge of fainting.

He was angry, very angry, but not with John, he was angry with himself, Dean doesn't know why he did it, because he acted like he was a stupid brat trying to please daddy, he was better than that, Dean was a grown man, he was a better hunter than anyone else, so why? Why was he trying so hard to act like his father expected?

A frustrated sob leaves his lips, he was disappointed in himself, why did he think things would be different? John was never attentive, he never realized there was something wrong with his children until Sam yelled in his face or Dean pointed it out.

“Ah,” he sighed, “Why did I think coming here would be a good idea?”

He was sticky and smelly, there was vomit on his shoes and sweat and whiskey on his clothes, Dean was disgusting, he felt disgusting, yet he just wanted to drink more, to get drunk enough to forget that he had spent two weeks ignoring Bobby’s calls, two weeks pretending not to see Cass’s texts, two weeks acting like an asshole… he just wanted to forget that he had kissed a young girl who was old enough to be his daughter.

The urge to vomit came back double when Dean remembered her tongue entering his mouth, she was a woman with attitude, he would have liked her if she were years older, but all he felt when he remembered the kiss was disgust, as if he was back in the 90s, back in those disgusting six months, but instead of being the young 16-year-old Dean felt like one of those disgusting truck drivers, old and sweaty truck drivers who got drunk on alcohol and then…

He vomits and passes out, in the morning Dean wakes up with his face covered in drool, dirt and vomit, he is sick of himself, he doesn't want to go back to John, but he can't leave without saying goodbye, or it would raise suspicions.

With a sigh Dean gets up from the ground and walks to the trunk, there should be a bottle or two of holy water, he knows he shouldn't use an important resource just to feel less dirty, but he can't get into his car like that, Jack has a great sense of smell, Cass too, if Dean sat on the seat smelling like he did then both angelic creatures would feel bad about Dean's mess.

His first stop before heading back to the motel is the gas station, there he can clean himself up better and change his clothes, he is still dirty, but he doesn't smell as much as before and there is no dried vomit on his clothes.

His second stop is a diner where he orders a coffee and buys a box of caramelized cinnamon rolls, daddy's favorites. Finally, Dean heads back to the motel, his dad's truck is parked outside, and he parks next to it. Dean hates that car for several reasons. First, it was a small car, only for two passengers. The first time John arrived with that car was a few days after Sam left for Stanford. Dean felt it was a personal attack, that John had bought the truck as a way of telling the world that Sam Winchester wasn't coming back. The second reason was just the bad memories he had of nights having sex in the back of dirty trucks...

"Dad." He calls as soon as he knocks on the door. He learned a long time ago not to enter the room with his sleepy and hungover father. Furthermore, he had a black eye for days after that, it was one of the rare times he saw his father cry. "I'm coming in, okay?"

A minute of waiting and finally there was a mumble, that was the only affirmation he needed before entering the room. To his surprise, his father wasn't in bed.

“Dad?”

“Where were you last night?”

A shiver ran down his spine, this wasn’t good, that was the voice John used when he was disappointed, the same voice Azazel failed to imitate when he possessed John. What happened while Dean was away? Did he do something wrong?

“I-I went out to get some air, sir.” Dean hates himself for stuttering.

John gets up from the table where he was sitting writing in his journal, he approaches with a silver bottle in his hands, holy water probably, Dean doesn’t flinch or lower his head when his father comes face to face with him.

“Why did the young lady from last night come back to the bar crying? She looked scared, son, what did you do?” His father’s rough hand is deceptively gentle as it touches his face, Dean shivers under John’s gaze.

“I didn’t do anything, I would never…”

“Son, there’s guilt in your eyes, what you did to that girl.”

You don’t understand! Dean wants to scream, his lips tremble to say it, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about!

“I would never…”

His father's hand gently squeezes his cheeks and forces him to keep his mouth open, Dean's hands tremble and some of his coffee falls on the floor. John pours the liquid from the bottle into Dean's mouth, and he's so nervous that he chokes at first, but he swallows it all, nothing happens, Dean is not a demon, but John still doesn't look happy.

“What did you do to that young lady, son.”

“I didn't do anything, sir.” He takes a deep breath, his speech coming out distorted, because his father's hand is still holding his face.

“Dean, you've been acting strange for weeks, I know something's wrong, talk to me.” John's hand gently releases Dean's cheeks and the older Winchester takes his silver knife from his jacket, for a moment Dean thinks his father might stab him, only his trust in John keeps him in place. “I thought Sam might be in trouble and that’s why you were acting strange, but he seemed fine the last time I saw him, we spent two weeks together, and now I can say for sure that there’s something wrong with you.”

The touch of the John on his arm is gentle, his father wasn’t affectionate, but he would never hurt Dean like that, he was just trying to test if his son wasn’t a monster, the cut on his arm didn’t have to hurt…

“You have nightmares, more than usual. Your arm always stretches across the bed looking for someone, when you don’t find someone you wake up. I thought you might be looking for a lover, something like that, but it couldn’t be, the fear you feel when you wake up is the same as I saw in your eyes when you woke up without Sammy sleeping next to you, on the nights I came back early from hunting and picked Sam up so he wouldn’t wake you up…” John looks almost heartbroken as he says the next words. “Dean… do you have something to tell me?”

Dean can't breathe, he can't think or speak, his hands are shaking, his heart is beating fast, and he's sure he's going to throw up again.

"Dad... Dad, I..." He chokes on his saliva and can't say it, but he wants it, he wants his family back together, he wants Sam, Bobby, John, Cass and Jack all together, he's scared and he just wants his family.

Tell him, Dean thinks, please, just get it over with and tell him, tell him the truth, he's his dad, he'll help...

"I..." The box of sweet rolls falls to the floor, Dean isn't feeling well.

"Son?"

"I..." The coffee falls to the floor and Dean chokes on vomit, John is quick to grab his arm and pull his son into the bathroom.

As he vomits into the toilet Dean can feel his father's eyes burning into his back, there is distrust and concern, there is also fear, Dean has never acted like this with John before, he thinks he may have ruined his only chance to tell his father the truth without making him believe that Jack was dangerous, now it was too late, John will see Jack and see the wings, then he will try to kill him, he will consider Dean's baby a monster and blame him for Dean being sick...

Dean needed to run away and get away from John, as soon as possible...

Chapter Text

DEAN

The reunion with Dean was stranger than John had initially thought.

You see, it hadn't been that long since John and his son had worked together, it was only a month ago when John was investigating suspicious activity on a cattle ranch. Dean seemed fine, very cheerful even, John knows he can be a distant father at times and finds comfort in knowing that despite everything Dean still loves him enough to be happy with his presence.

They had only been together for a short time, only hunting a werewolf and breaking up again after going out to celebrate at a bar, usually Dean was satisfied with that before they went their separate ways. Imagine his surprise when John asked his beloved son to go get rid of a poltergeist in Connecticut and discovered that the boy was slow to follow his orders.

That was his first sign. Dean was very obedient, John raised him well, a strong and fair man, so it was so shocking to learn that his son had disobeyed him so blatantly! His first thought was that Dean was just having an affair with some woman and that it was distracting him from his work, his second thought was that Dean was becoming rebellious, maybe even using some kind of drug, like Sam used marijuana once when he was 15. All of these thoughts were quickly thrown out after a week of the situation continuing.

John then began to suspect that Dean might have been bewitched or possessed, but he had whispered 'Christ' during his last call with his son and nothing had happened, still that was his biggest suspicion, so John sent Dean to come to him in a small town in the state of Montana, it was quite an experience to see his son again, an experience that John doesn't know if he will be able to erase from his memory.

There was something so sad and wrong about his son, his boy so kind and full of life looked almost dead standing up. John was never the best father in the world, but he knew his boys, and Dean Winchester had never looked as tired as he did now. It was almost like being back in November 2nd, 1983, when Mary burned to the ceiling and Dean witnessed it all with Sam in his arms, the next few days after his loss were the worst John had ever been through, Sammy wouldn't stop crying and John felt lost, but the worst of all was Dean's unbearable silence, his chatty little boy was as quiet as a grave and had stayed that way for a whole year, it was the hardest time John had ever been through in his entire life, and he had been in a war.

Dean arrived early at the motel, he seemed normal if you didn't know where to look, he looked tired, but he was smiling, John wouldn't have noticed that there was something wrong with his son if he hadn't been actively searching.

When they went to investigate the house of the 12 ghosts, Dean passed him and walked confidently ahead of John that was his first evidence that something was wrong, Dean knew the rule, John went first, always, that was a rule they followed ever since Dean started going out hunting more often. The second piece of evidence that something wasn't right was the subtle stain under the right shoulder of Dean's jacket, the stain smelled of Similac formula.

The next piece of evidence became clear only after they got back to the motel and Dean went to the bathroom to take a shower, that in itself wasn't unusual, no, what was unusual was that his son didn't close the door, he left a small gap open. It might not mean anything, maybe John was crazy, but he couldn't ignore that in all these years since Sam left their lives, Dean had never left the bathroom door unlocked, a habit that John knew his son only did when he was worried that Sam needed him or when he was so drunk that he forgot to lock the door. Dean wasn't drunk and there was no Sam around, this increased John's concerns.

His suspicions grew by the day, fortunately the case of the 12 ghosts lasted long enough for John to analyze and catalog the oddities of Dean's behavior:

1. Dean had reinstalled the security locks on the Impala.

Child locks were something Dean installed when he turned 16 and John gave him the Impala, when he first noticed it in the car he joked that Dean was planning to get someone pregnant, at the time Dean laughed and explained the reason he put the locks in, apparently an angry Sammy was very likely to jump out of a moving car if it meant he could annoy Dean.

2. Someone named Cass was texting Dean every day.

At first John pretended to be blind and ignored it, it was probably just a mistress trying to get his son's attention, Dean was a very handsome man, John is proud to say that both of his sons were lucky enough to get Mary's beauty. After the messages continued for two more days and John saw Dean smiling at his phone, he started to pay more attention to his son's phone when Dean was sleeping. The messages had nothing nefarious or sexual, it didn't seem like some random mistress that Dean fucked once and never saw again, it seemed like someone who actually knew his son.

- I saw this and remembered you… - It was the message that came with a picture of an apple pie - … Which is ironic, since I'm not good at remembering things. -

There were many others, some that Dean replied with a joke and others that Dean really seemed to get carried away with and replied with huge texts, but there were almost none recent, as if Dean had been ignoring the girl for the last few days.

1. Bobby.

Don't get him wrong, but John didn't like old Robert Singer, yes, he understands that he wasn't a good father, but who does that grumpy old man think he is to tell John how to raise his children? Anyway, knowing that Dean was communicating with the old hunter made John even more worried, there were no messages, of course not, Bobby didn't like to leave a trail of conversations and always preferred phone calls, even knowing this John is still curious about why his son calls Bobby every night or why Bobby calls every morning, but, mainly, John wanted to know why Dean was doing this secretly.

2. Sammy.

The main proof that Dean was acting strange was the lack of conversations about Sam.

John loves his son, he really does, he is always very happy to know that Dean has so much love for his younger brother, it's not always that brothers love each other and get along. Whenever the two are together, Dean talks about something Sam liked or would like if he were there with them, John always listens to everything Dean has to say about Sam until his son starts to get annoying and John has to tell him to shut up. They have been hunting together for two weeks and so far there has only been one mention of Sam, and it was John who commented on it, somehow Dean seems to be more concerned with something else than Sam or busty women for the first time in his life. There were many other details about Dean that John noticed in the last few days, like the nightmares, the way his son always woke up looking for someone in bed, how Dean didn't drink anymore, etc. With this information together, John started to formulate one theory after another, and it didn't do much to calm his worry and paranoia. At the end of the second week together they finally burned all the ghosts and John decided to do a final test to see how much his son had changed, he took his money and took Dean to the bar with the prettiest waitresses and the best beers. They spent two hours there just talking, John asked about what happened to his son's middle finger, Dean clenched his jaw and smiled without showing his teeth, which meant he was lying when he said he fell on his hand when he was thrown away by a ghost.

Dean failed his first test, his boy had never lied to John before.

John asks about what Dean has been hunting, again Dean lies, saying only ghosts and occasionally some werewolves.

Once again Dean failed his test, the real Dean would never hunt werewolves alone, not without John's support.

The original plan was to get the impostor drunk and force him to talk, but at no time did the man drink beer, John's suspicions were that it could be a demon possessing his son and he felt that there was holy water in the beer, but he doesn't know.

John was about to invite the fake Dean to play pool and maybe get the impostor to talk, but before he could say anything a young blonde walked by laughing with her friends while looking at her son, Dean winked and smiled at her, the same smile Mary had when she was flirting, it was a smile that won hearts and that only Dean could do so well, this calmed John's fears a little, he was probably just too paranoid like Sam always accused him of being, that couldn't be an impostor, it was Dean, because only Dean smiled like Mary.

Maybe the problem was me, he thought regretfully, Dean must be exhausted and John was tiring his boy, they just needed a night away from each other, Dean needed sex to relax and John wasn't going to interfere.

“Don’t let me get in the way, son.” He said, smiling a little more relieved and giving his son two warm pats on the shoulder before getting up and walking to the pool table. He wasn’t planning on actually playing, the plan was to watch the supposed impostor talk to the girl and find out if Dean acted differently with other people.

Two minutes passed and Dean still hadn’t moved from his spot. For a moment, John thought that maybe Dean wasn’t going to go out with the girl, but his son called the waitress and asked for two bottles of beer. It was the first time Dean had had a drink in two weeks. His son drank three bottles of beer at once and staggered up from the table. John was worried that his son would get into trouble and went after him after Dean closed the bar door.

“Dean?” He calls out, but his son seems lost in thought and doesn't hear his call. John thinks about approaching, but the girl from before appears. She's an attractive young woman with blonde hair and green eyes. She has freckles on her face too. John feels nostalgic when he sees her flirting with Dean. His son seems a little awkward, but he flirts with her anyway. The young woman seemed like someone with a lot of attitude, because soon she and Dean were kissing. John smiled with satisfaction. It seems that Dean wasn't that strange after all. After all, his son just needed a distraction. Things should change in the morning. He turns to go back to the bar, but is stopped when he hears a scream.

"NO!"

John's smile disappears. The girl who was kissing his son now looks scared and is running away from the bar. Dean seems to have hit his hands on the wall and left a trail of blood on the bricks of the bar, not that his son seems to have noticed. What the hell happened? John wonders as he watches his son stagger to the Impala and drive away. He tries to call for Dean, but his son ignores him. There was something really wrong with that boy, and John wasn't going to wait any longer to find out.

Back at the motel, John geared up for hunting, locked the bedroom door, and headed to his truck. He needed to find Dean before the impostor hurt anyone else.

Looking for Dean around town brings back memories that he still resents. It was 1994. Adam had turned 4 and John decided to take his son on a family camping trip. It was something he did with all his boys at some point. For Sam and Adam, it was when they were 4, but for Dean, it was when he was 3. Mary wasn't pregnant yet, and they were thinking about having another child at the time, so they agreed to go on a camping trip with Dean to give him all their attention and make him understand that they would love him forever, even if they had another child in the future. That year was supposed to be Adam's introduction to the rest of the family. John wanted his boys together and was thinking about introducing them to Kate. She was a wonderful woman and would be safe with Dean and Sam, just as Dean and Sam would be safer living with her. Unfortunately, John's plans were thwarted when Dean reminded him of the reason why it was best to keep the Winchesters away from the Milligan's. The Milligan family was a normal family. They went to church on Sundays, went out to eat together after an achievement at school or work. They talked about everyday problems over dinner, problems that didn't involve monsters or being wanted by the FBI. Furthermore, they were good, just like the Winchesters used to be. Meanwhile, the Winchester family, or what was left of it, was an incomplete family, without faith despite using exorcisms and the name of Christ to protect themselves. They rarely went out together without arguing over some silly thing that had already been discussed in the past. Their conversations were always about hunting or hunting injuries. John doesn't even remember the last time he talked to Dean about a girl his son might like, or to Sam about some school project.

John spent 6 months away from home in 1994. It wasn't his original plan, but he lost track of time when he was teaching Adam how to set up a tent or roast sausages over a fire. He made a mistake, he knows that, but he doesn't understand why Dean had to do what he did instead of trying to call John!

It was disappointing to be told by Singer that Dean had been taken to the police station because he was caught stealing from a supermarket. John gets it, okay, he gets that the money was gone and that his son was just trying to feed Sam because John was an irresponsible jerk who forgot about his own children's basic needs, but that didn't excuse Dean not only stealing food, but condoms and cigarettes, lots of cigarettes! Why the hell did his 15-year-old boy need cigarettes and so many condoms?!

John had been very disappointed, he told Dean and his son apologized, but it wasn't enough, Dean had been irresponsible to risk himself like that, what would have become of Sam if the police had sent the child protection services to the motel and seen a child alone in the room? They would have lost Sam, all due to Dean's apparent addiction to sex and cigarettes!

The argument between them was the biggest John had ever had with Dean, at one point his son just ran out of the motel room and disappeared into the streets, John and Sam spent the whole night looking for the teenager until they found him passed out from drinking so much in an alley near the bar, that was the last straw for John, he was angry with himself and angry with Dean's irresponsibility, but he was also worried and didn't know what to do, so he made a deal with the police to leave Dean alone, and he would take his son to a foster home where he would learn not to do that again.

Of course Dean hated the idea, but John had realized his mistake in leaving so much responsibility on Dean, the boy was not ready to take care of Sam and be responsible, the pressure on his shoulders was making Dean start having addictions that could evolve from cigarettes and sex to drugs and maybe torture, many hunters ended up falling into these addictions and killing themselves in the process, John could not see the same thing happening to Dean.

It was two months without his boy, John felt like he was going crazy without Dean, Sam was very persistent in knowing where his brother was and picky about his food, John had tried to give the boy a banana and received a two-hour lecture about how irresponsible it was to give fruit to people without knowing about their allergies (Yes, apparently Sam Winchester was allergic to bananas), John also had many arguments with Sam due to their very different ways of thinking, the boy was only 11 years old, and he already argued with John about everything and anything!

Having Dean back was a relief, John had barely realized how important Dean was for their lives to work, without Dean John and Sam didn't remember to wash their clothes or eat when they were lost researching a case or studying Sam's case, without Dean they didn't talk in the car, because Dean was the one who always had something to talk about or a song to sing, without Dean John was lost and consequently Sam too.

Searching for his son now, almost eight years later, brings back memories with the fear of losing Dean to a demon or skin walker, whatever is possessing his son or posing as him.

John searches the alleys, the motels, the bars, the closed streets and even in a bakery that sold pie, but there is no sign of Dean Winchester.

Defeated, John returns to the motel and decides to wait for an hour or two. Hopefully the impostor hasn't realized that John has discovered his ruse and will return to the room. If not, John will swallow his pride and ask Bobby for help. Somehow the creature has tricked the old hunter into helping him, but John can alert the man and make him help in the search for Dean.

It's 6:16 when Dean's voice calls out to him: "Dad." He knocks on the door. John stands silently, holy water in one hand and a silver knife in the other. "I'm coming in, okay?"

The impostor enters carrying a bakery box and a cup of coffee. From the smell coming from the box, John can only assume that they are sweet breads, his favorites and the ones Dean always bought after a hard day. He scans the room for John. John doesn't move from his seat in the chair, waiting for his son's impostor to notice him alone:

"Dad?" The creature calls again, John is starting to get irritated by this, only his boys could call him father, not this impostor.

“Where were you last night?” He asks, staring into Dean’s green eyes, it was unnerving how his son’s appearance was perfectly imitated, but the eyes were so different that John couldn’t accept that this was the same boy he saw just a month ago.

Maybe it really is a demon, his paranoia whispered to him, sending a shiver down his spine.

“I-I went out to get some air, sir.” Dean doesn’t usually stutter, but a demon wouldn’t humiliate himself by pretending like this, John’s concern grows even more, was there any chance that Dean was possessed without knowing it?

John gets up from the table where he was sitting memorizing an exorcism in his journal, he would usually be confident to recite an exorcism without having to read it first, but this was his son and John would never risk his son’s life. He approaches and Dean doesn't back down or lower his head, his son had perfect posture and respect too, he looked like the same young man John knew, but still so different, Dean seemed to have difficulty keeping his shoulders back, as if he wanted to shrink or fall into a slouch, that wasn't Dean's style.

“Why did the young lady from last night come back to the bar crying?” He asked, pretending he hadn’t followed his son and seen him hurt his hands by hitting the wall. “She looked scared, son, what did you do?”

His right hand went up to Dean’s face, his boy was a little taller than John now, it was touching to think that this man was the same little boy John had held when he was born, gently he touched his son’s face, because it had to be his son, even a skin walker couldn’t get all the freckles on Dean’s face, there was one who tried and failed to put the freckles in the right place.

“I didn’t do anything, I would never…” That wasn’t what John was implying, but it was worrying that the demon thought that before anything else.

“Son, there’s guilt in your eyes” There was also fear and disgust, maybe Dean really doesn’t know he’s possessed, but he knows something isn’t right, could demons do that? John would do more research as soon as he freed Dean from the possession. “What did you do to that girl.”

Dean’s lips tremble, but he doesn’t speak. John’s heart aches to see his boy in this situation. But the most worrying thing is that the demon hasn’t manifested itself to attack John yet. This was suspicious. It made John even more worried. Was there really a demon, or had Dean lost his mind and what John had been witnessing in the last few days was just his son going crazy like other hunters had done? There were so many questions. Fear was suffocating John. He needed answers.

“I would never…”

John gently squeezes Dean’s cheeks, there was barely any facial hair on his son’s smooth skin, John’s action makes Dean shut up and stay still as John holds him and pours the holy water into Dean’s mouth, he waits for something to happen, something that tells him that his son was fine and was just a demon that could be exorcised and everything would be okay, unfortunately nothing happens, I mean, Dean chokes on the holy water, but he doesn’t burn or scream, he just swallows the liquid and looks at John.

It was his son, not a demon…

No, he thinks nervously. Maybe he’s a skin walker who’s great at pretending, John just needed a small cut to get the proof and get his son back.

“What did you do to that young lady, son.”

“I didn’t do anything, sir.” Dean takes a deep breath, his speech coming out distorted, because John still hasn’t let go of his face.

“Dean, you’ve been acting strange for weeks, I know something’s wrong, talk to me.”

Please, please, son, if it's you, talk to me…

He lets go of Dean's cheeks and grabs his silver knife from his jacket, for a moment John expects the skin walker to step away and attack, but he stays in place.

"I thought Sam might be in trouble and that's why you were acting strange, but he seemed fine the last time I saw him, we spent two weeks together, and now I can say for sure that there's something wrong with you."

He gently touches the blade of the knife to his son's arm, he hated making his children bleed, but it was necessary…

"You have nightmares, more than usual." He continues talking, explaining to Dean all the signs he noticed, trying to distract his son from the pain. "Your arm always reaches across the bed looking for someone, when you can't find them you wake up. I thought you might be looking for a lover, something like that, but it couldn't be, the fear you feel when you wake up is the same I saw in your eyes when you woke up without Sammy sleeping next to you, on the nights I came back early from hunting and picked Sam up so he wouldn't wake you up…”

They never look away, only when the knife moves away from Dean's arm and John watches, waiting for a reaction, do they both look away. Their son wasn't a shape-shifter…

“Dean… do you have something to tell me?”

Please tell me you didn't go crazy, tell me you didn't get lost in the hunt and become one of the monsters…

“Dad… Dad I…” Dean chokes and his voice breaks. “I…”

The box of sweet rolls falls to the floor, Dean looks pale, sick.

“Son?” John reaches for Dean's arm, what was happening to his son didn't seem like anything Dean had ever done before! “I…” The coffee falls to the floor and Dean chokes, John is quick to grab his arm and pull his son to the bathroom.

As he watches his son vomit, John thinks about the hunters and soldiers he saw lose their minds and commit suicide or kill their own comrades, John thinks about the state he found his son in at 15, an addict to cigarettes, sex and alcohol, there were many other factors that were worrying, Dean could be suffering from his many traumas and addictions, something must have happened in the month that John left him alone, something that triggered all these changes in Dean…

Looking at his boy sitting on the floor and looking so small, John knew he needed to watch over him as best he could, Dean wasn’t well…

Chapter Text

FRIEND OF MY RIGTH ARM

Sometimes Dean felt like a trained bird. A bird of prey trained by a master with a firm hand. Many say that Dean Winchester is a loyal dog, a soldier, but that was not how he felt, Dean was not a dog tied to a leash that only needed to tear off the ties and run away from his owner, no, he was a hawk, a hunter with wings and claws, who could fly away and survive on his own using his claws, there were no cages holding him back, what was there was his inability to be free, Dean could fly and get away as much as he wanted, but the moment he heard his master calling for him, he would drop everything he was doing and fly back to him, no matter how much his owner hurt him, Dean always came back, if not to his owner then to someone similar, someone just as bad.

His father was not a bad man, Dean knew he tried his best..., but he was not a good man either, Dean recognized that now better than before. His father was a drunken mourner chasing the past without realizing that he was just going around in endless circles, unfortunately Dean is exactly like him. Even after John Winchester's death it was still as if he was there, as if every decision in Dean's life was filtered and made by John, as if at every step he was watching Dean, guiding him with invisible hands that only wanted the best for his son. He knows that John cares, that his father is only human and that he was destined to be flawed, even more so with Chuck playing the writer of their lives, but still... still Dean hoped that his father would one day be able to free him and let him truly live.

"Dad..."

"No. Stay, Dean, I'll be right back." They were back to square one, that's what Dean thought watching John get out of the Impala and walk to the diner. It had been weeks, four weeks to be exact, John had freaked out after that tense morning when the tests showed nothing and Dean had been so nervous that he had been vomiting for hours, he had been pathetic and weak, but he had expected his father to just sigh and leave like he always did, but that wasn't what happened, in fact, the opposite happened, John Winchester stayed! For the first time since Dean was 11, Dean was suddenly the priority! Not Sam, not the hunt, not revenge, just Dean... it was good, but it was strange.

The first week was like living a dream, his father was there! He was with Dean and attentive to everything Dean needed, getting food when he was hungry and water when he was thirsty, talking to him about more than women and hunting, talking about Baby, about his favorite movies and cartoons, having a real conversation about Mary where Dean had to hold back a lot to not say more than he should have known, but it was still perfect.

For a week Dean had been slowly introducing the idea of ​​a grandson to John, he knew his father understood but was being kind in giving Dean time to take it easy, or so he thought. For a week everything was wonderful, Dean had his father, not his general, but his father, the father he had when he was four and who he had said goodbye to with a warm hug and words of love when he was forty-one. A week was all Dean had before his reality came back to bite him in the ass.

It was a quiet Sunday after a simple ghost hunt, John was in the bathroom getting rid of all the ectoplasm and Dean was taking some air on the balcony of the motel, he planned to tell his father that night, talk about Jack and try to convince him to go to Bobby's house where he could talk about everything he had been through to both of his father figures...

Then Bobby called and John heard Dean answer, and suddenly Dean remembered that John Winchester was not the most mentally stable man in the world...

To be quite honest, Dean has erased that night from his memory, he only remembers curses being shouted into the phone and some cruel words directed at Bobby, after that he doesn't remember anything else, just that suddenly he was sleeping in Baby's passenger seat and his father acting like a lunatic.

John wouldn't let Dean answer the phone anymore, in fact, he broke the phones, so Dean couldn't touch them anymore, when asked why John said that Bobby had been possessed, that the old hunter was talking crazy about a supernatural creature crying and asking for Dean, about someone named 'Cass' being worried and wanting to know where Dean was. John didn't sound good when he said that part, as if he had heard something abominable and terrifying on the other end of the phone, as if it was Lucifer answering, but Dean doubts it very much, his father was a tough man, demons didn't scare John Winchester, so what did he hear on that call that made his hands shake and his skin crawl? Dean doesn't want to know, all he wants is to call Bobby and know if he and Jack were okay.

He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face, he was feeling exhausted, he needed air, and he couldn't even get out of the car without his father going crazy! Damn the moment he installed the child locks on the doors, the spell backfired, or something…

A strong wind blew past the Impala's window, sending shivers down his spine. Dean looked away from the diner and turned to look across the street. Something was very wrong. He looked around, trying to identify the source of his uneasiness. The shadows around the car seemed to move strangely, and the wind was changing its course as if something was running around the car.

Dean's hands tightened around the pistol, his eyes focused on the darkness. He saw a quick movement out of the corner of his eye and turned his head to the back seat, but there was nothing there.

The silence was oppressive, and he could feel his heart pounding. What if it was what his father heard on the phone? What if it was something sent by Chuck as revenge or…

A soft sound sounded, almost imperceptible, coming directly from his side of the window. He turned his head quickly and prepared to shoot the creature that was waiting for him, but before he could pull the trigger, the monster opened the door of the Impala.

Dean jumped in his seat, his heart racing at the possibilities of what could be waiting for him. His eyes narrowed at the shadowy figure, and the more he watched, the more his heart calmed.

Right there, covered in shadows and wearing a hideous beret, was a familiar face smiling down at him.

“What’s up, Winchester, scared?”

“Benny…”

“Good to see you again, Chief.”

Dean let out a sigh of relief, he was ecstatic to see Benjamin Lafitte alive again, but it was almost too good to be true, so he refused to let his guard down. He gripped the pistol tightly in his hand and got out of the car, it was a relief to be out of the Impala after weeks of traveling without being able to leave unless John was by his side.

“Hey, no hugs? I thought you’d miss me more!” Benny grumbled with a good-natured grimace, he hadn't been too fond of physical contact at the beginning of their friendship, but Dean had long ago discovered that Benny was a vampire almost as needy for affection as Dean was, unfortunately Dean couldn't risk it, he needed to stay alert and that meant interrogating his friend first.

“Who sent you? And how do you know who I am?”

Benny made a confused face and snorted in disdain.

“What do you mean you sent me, Chief, I just opened my fucking eyes…”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, I just woke up, I thought I was back in purgatory, but I smelled you…” Dean grimaced at that comment. “When I saw you here, looking so young and cute, I couldn’t help but come check on you.”

The same thing had happened to Cass five weeks ago, Dean remembered the angel saying something similar, he just woke up suddenly and walked aimlessly until Dean found him with the witches. That shit didn’t make sense.

The bell on the door of the diner rang and Dean turned around in alarm to see if his father was coming, thankfully it seemed he wasn’t.

“Hey, Chief, what’s got you so upset, you’re not usually this scared…” Dean interrupted him by gesturing with his gun, the pistol wouldn’t do much against a vampire like Benny, but it helped Dean feel in control and that was what he needed right now.

“Listen, Benny, I need you to give me irrefutable proof that you’re the same guy I remember…”

“Huh…”

“Please, Benny, a lot of shit has changed since you’ve been gone, like, too much shit man, and I’m all alone in this shit now, without Sam or Cass, all alone, powerful creatures might be after me and I can’t trust you without knowing for sure that you’re the same guy I remember… please…” His voice was weak, he spoke quickly, barely breathing, he was nervous and anxious, he wanted to get out of there before his father came back and arrested him again, but at the same time, he was afraid of leaving his father alone and losing the man forever again, Dean was so confused and worried, all he wanted was something to hold on to.

“We already kissed.” Benny whispered softly, his voice was calmer and gentler than Dean thought he’d heard it before, that was a subject the two of them wouldn’t touch even with a forty-foot pole. “In purgatory, before we found your angel, you were frustrated and tired, I took advantage of that… I kissed you, and we had a moment until you had a panic attack and started hyperventilating and calling for your angel over and over, it attracted some monsters, and we almost died.”

Dean remembered that, sex with men wasn’t usually for pleasure, it was work, and when Benny kissed him Dean wanted it, because sex would have kept his mind off his worries and fears, but it had been so long since any man had touched Dean like that he freaked out, it was humiliating and scary.

The sound of the diner bell caught his attention again, looking again, Dean saw his father’s jacket and knew that this was the time to leave. Without grabbing bags or weapons, Dean grabbed Benny’s arm and pulled him away from the car.

“Chief, where are we going?!” He asked, starting to sound scared. Dean’s actions were probably upsetting the vampire.

“Leave, Benny, now!”

A gunshot rang out and Dean pushed Benny behind a car.

“What the fuck…” The vampire swore before pulling Dean behind him. John was aiming again, ready to fire. The bullets were silver. They wouldn’t kill Benny, but they could knock him down long enough for John to kill him. “Dean, who is that man!?”

Golden shot. This time he grabbed Benny’s arm. The vampire growled and bared his teeth. Dean knew he was getting ready to attack and grabbed his friend’s arm.

“Please…” He whispered. John was calling for him, but Dean couldn’t go back. He couldn’t stay trapped with his father if there was any chance that Jack and Bobby were in danger. “It’s my dad, please…”

The vampire whispered ‘shit!’ and another shot rang out, this time it bounced off the car they were hiding in and hit Dean’s arm. The pain made him scream, and his father called his name again. Benny didn’t need to hear anything else before he turned around and put his arms around Dean’s waist.

“Wow, what are you doing?!” His voice was higher pitched than he was used to, his friend even looked at him curiously, and that increased the heat in his face.

“Relax, chief, I’m going to get us out of here.” Benny lifted him in his arms and to keep from falling, Dean held on to the vampire’s shoulders. “Point the way.”

Resigned to his fate, Dean pointed to the forest. They would have to get away from his father before heading towards Bobby’s house.

“Okay, hold on, princess.”

Chapter Text

RATTO DI PROSERPINA

Finding diapers and a car seat in the trunk of the Impala made John's heart skip a beat, his suspicions confirmed by his son's frightened reaction. Maybe John had pushed too hard, but he just wanted to help, his boy didn't need to hide anything from John, didn't he understand? John would still love Dean even if his son had gotten some random woman pregnant, although Dean's reaction told him that maybe it wasn't a random woman, but someone his son really loved and who might no longer be alive...

Looking at Dean lying curled up on one of the beds in the room, John could only remember Mary, how nervous his wife had been when she found out she was pregnant, yes, they wanted children, but they were still so young and didn't feel ready, he remembers how Mary tried to run away because she thought John wouldn't accept being the father of their child, she had the same anxious and nervous reaction as Dean, even getting a strong fever that could have killed the baby, all due to her anxiety. The thought of Dean having the same reaction as Mary made John's chest hurt, he never wanted to become a monster to his children, but if Dean was as afraid of him as he showed, then John had failed miserably.

He needed to be better, was his only thought. He needed to show his son that he was trustworthy, that Dean could trust John with his problems!

With that thought in mind John spent the first week focusing entirely on Dean, no hunting or bars, just him and his oldest son, he asked Dean about the Impala, gently questioning him about the child locks on the doors, slowly but surely introducing Dean to a conversation about children. He asked about Dean's favorite movies and cartoons, something that until that moment John hadn't realized he knew so little about what his son actually liked.

They even talked about Mary, John talking about how cool it was to choose a name for Dean when they found out Mary was pregnant. At first, if Dean was a girl he would be called Jude, like the Beatles lyrics that Mary loved, and if it was a boy he would be called Samuel, but as the months went by and Mary felt more and more the desire to have her mother close by, they decided that if the baby was a girl then it would be Deana in honor of Mary's mother, and if it was a boy he would be called Dean, which was the name that stuck in the end. Dean seemed emotional when he found out about this and John felt bad, he often forgot that it wasn't just him who lost Mary that night, Dean lost her too and many times John preferred not to talk about his wife and ended up taking away Dean and Sam's memories of their own mother... He would be better, he decided as a promise to himself and his children, John Winchester would be a better man, he would at least try. For a week John did his best to be the compassionate father his son deserved, in return Dean slowly started to come clean about what he had been doing when he was away from John, he talked about how expensive diapers were, but he didn't specify the size, although John had a feeling Dean's son would only have a few months and not years to live, his son was very fatherly, if he had known he was going to be a father Dean would have dropped everything and run home just to raise the baby. He also talked about a cereal, Nougat, or something like that, he said he had started buying a lot of boxes in the last few days, which didn't make sense to John since Dean hated cereal, he said it looked like pencil sharpener dirt and always let Sam eat the cereal alone, with that John understood that the cereal was for Dean's baby and started to worry that maybe his son was feeding a newborn with cereal full of sugar! Anyway, the first seven days were incredible. It had been years since John had felt so at peace. For the first time in a long time, he felt happy. All that was missing was Sam for everything to be perfect. John even thought about calling and trying to talk to his youngest son, but the same day he thought that, everything went wrong.

It was a quiet Sunday after Dean convinced him to go on a simple ghost hunt just "so he wouldn't get rusty," Dean said, but John had the feeling that it was just an excuse for his son to have time away from John and get the courage to talk openly about the baby he was hiding.

He had just come out of the bathroom after removing all the ectoplasm from his body when he heard Dean's phone ring. No one had called Dean in the last few days, so John was worried. He knew that his son's baby wasn't with its mother, that most likely the mother was dead. He also knew that the baby should be with Bobby, and the old hunter's call was worrying, to say the least.

“Hey, kid,” he called softly for his son. Dean looked nervous, but John felt like it was more his fault than Bobby’s. “Are you okay?”

Dean glanced over and then looked back forward as if he had heard something that caught him by surprise, which was strange, because John could only hear distorted words that seemed affected by the call. He moved closer to Dean, wanting to hear who was on the other end, something wasn’t right.

- Stay where you are... I'm coming to you... - It wasn't Bobby's voice, much less a human voice.

John snatched the phone from Dean's hands, ignoring his son's complaint.

- What are you, what do you want with my son?! - Bobby was the one who answered, even so it was almost impossible to hear what the old hunter was saying, the monstrous voice was still nearby and seemed to be talking to someone else, but John wasn't able to hear it, that didn't make his fear calm down.

- Listen, you idiot, I know you're not the most mentally sane person in the fucking world, but Dean needs to go home, Jack has been crying for days and... - He didn't hear another word from Bobby, that scary noise that John thought was static was a baby crying? Was it his grandson crying!? – Just tell me where you are, idiot, Cass will come to you and…-

A series of curses later and John hung up the phone, breaking it under his feet. Fuck being a good father, he didn't have time for this anymore. Some cult or some monster was coming after his son, possibly even controlling him for days, and John needed to find out what it was and keep Dean safe. Whatever the creature that answered the phone was, it wasn't a demon, it wasn't anything John had ever heard of.

"Dad?" John ignored the call and ran into the room, grabbed the bags as they were and went to the truck, only to give up halfway. Dean would never let him leave without the Impala.

Fuck! He thought, running to the Impala and putting the bags in the car haphazardly.

"Dad, what the hell are you doing!?" Dean screamed, sounding scared, even panicked. "What happened, what did Bobby say? Jack is fine, Cass he…” John didn’t listen, he grabbed Dean’s arm and put his son in the car, they had to leave at any cost.

“What, hey!” John got into the driver’s seat, activated the child locks and started the car, Dean couldn’t get out until John allowed it. His son kept trying to talk, looking more and more panicked, and consequently making John more and more scared.

After a day of aimless travel with no stops, Dean gave up talking to John, which was good, because John was feeling too nervous and the adrenaline in his body would make him commit unforgivable acts like knocking Dean out with some drug or punching him, he needed silence, a damn moment to think.

It was three days of silence and endless research, they stopped in a city just long enough for John to pick up a few books on cults and demonic babies before they set off again, it took Dean passing out from hunger for John to remember that they were human and needed to eat, even so he always stopped at a diner, got the food and got back on the road, only letting Dean get out of the car to use the bathroom, he knew his son hated feeling dirty, so he bought Dean wet wipes for him to clean himself, but he refused to stop at a motel and let Dean use the phones, he wouldn't risk letting Dean call and turn them in to the cult or anything like that.

It had been a long few weeks that seemed endless. John barely slept. When he wasn't reading, he was driving. When he was driving, he made Dean read out loud to him. His best theory so far was that Dean had gotten a demon pregnant or the other way around. He even inspected Dean's abdomen when his son fell asleep, looking for a C-section scar or a mark that proved a demon had touched his son. There was nothing. Even so, that didn't diminish John's paranoia. Something demonic was out there crying because Dean was away, and something worse was looking for him. John couldn't risk it, but he couldn't live on the run either. He needed information, and he needed it now! He stopped the car at a roadside diner. Furthermore, he knew there was a retired hunter working there. Not only that, but he knew that the woman used to use cat meat in some recipes when sales were bad, and she didn't have money to buy meat. He didn't need to buy food there, but he needed some black cat bones if he was going to summon a demon.

“Dad…” Dean called, he had seemed weak in the last few days, he had barely eaten or slept properly, maybe it was the consequences of being away from the monsters, or maybe the creatures didn’t need to be close to slowly suck the life out of his son!

“No. Stay, Dean, I’ll be right back.” He ordered firmly, the idea that his son could be dying was the final key for John to decide that he would summon a demon and get answers from him.

The diner was the same disgusting one that John remembered, without many customers and average in appearance, a simple place that wouldn’t raise suspicions, but if anyone found out the truth they would certainly close the place down.

“John Winchester, what a pleasure to welcome you, to what do I owe your visit?” Telma’s harsh voice greeted him as he walked through the door, and the bell announced his arrival. Telma was big, not tall, but fat, she had relaxed her diet after retiring. The woman who once could have run a marathon against vampires could now barely walk. She had dirty blonde hair and huge bags under her eyes. ‘Consequences of a life full of misery,’ was what she always said to John.

“Good to see you, Telma.” It was a lie. Although Telma had been one of his first mentors in the world of hunting, John and she had never gotten along very well. However, she was one of the few people who had more experience in hunting besides old Rufus and Bobby.

“What do you want, Winchester? Have you completed your revenge?” She scoffed, chewing on the end of the cigarette she was smoking.

“My son needs help… I need help.” He bit his lip. He hated asking for help. It hurt his pride, especially when it came to taking care of his children. He was their father. He should be able to keep them safe, but he couldn't do it alone. It was destroying him inside.

Telma took on a more serious expression and threw her cigarette out the open window of the diner before approaching the counter with heavy steps.

"What's hurting your son?" She whispered so that the few customers wouldn't hear. Her breath was rotten and smelled of alcohol. John didn't care.

"He started acting strangely in the last few days. I tested to see if he was possessed or a shifter. He passed the tests. However, recently I saw him talking on the phone and when I picked it up to listen, I heard something terrifying. An inhuman, loud, powerful voice. Along with it, I heard a shrill noise. Bobby was on the other end of the line, with the creatures, he said the baby was crying… I don't know what's going on, but I think my son may have been the victim of a cult…” Telma looked at him seriously, she seemed disbelieving at first, but contemplative too.

“If it had been anyone else talking that nonsense, I would have laughed and told them to fuck off, but you, Winchester, demons have attacked your family before, I wouldn’t be surprised if they did it again, from what you described, they certainly weren’t ordinary demons, so what exactly do you need from me?”

John swallowed hard, someone walked through the door, walking away, he didn’t pay attention, but his eyes drifted to the window, and he could see Dean standing next to the Impala, there was a shadowy figure at his gunpoint…

“John?”

“Get the shotgun, Telma! The demon found us!”

As soon as John ran out of the diner, he saw Dean being pulled away from the car and drew his gun, ready to shoot.

The shot hit near the creature’s feet, and John saw his son being pushed behind a car.

John got closer, aiming for the head, it might not kill, but it would hurt like hell. The diner window opened and John saw Telma aiming and shooting.

Two bullets were fired by Telma and one missed, the other ricocheted off the car and John heard his son scream.

"Dean!?" He screamed in panic, wanting to see his son to make sure he was okay.

The monster jumped away from the car when another shot from Telma almost hit where they were, John looked for Dean and managed to see his son in the creature's arms before the thing ran into the forest.

"Damn it! Go after them, Winchester, I'm calling for backup!"

John didn't need to be told twice before running into the forest following the tracks that the monster left unconsciously or not, it didn't matter if John had to run all night, he wouldn't let his son die!

Chapter Text

The pain throbbed in Dean’s shoulder, hot and pulsing, as if the bullet were still inside burning through his flesh. He could barely keep his eyes open. Everything was a blur of trees, wind, and the metallic smell of blood—his own. When consciousness cleared a little, he realized he was still being carried in Benny’s arms. The vampire looked exhausted, but every step was steady, determined, as if nothing could bring him down.

“Chief?” The Southern drawl cut through the haze in Dean’s head. He lifted his gaze and found Benny’s canines showing in a worried half-smile. “You okay? You blacked out after that man tried to shoot us with a shotgun.”

The memories came in confused flashes: John emerging from the forest’s darkness, the shots echoing like thunder, the impact of the bullet tearing through his shoulder, his body collapsing to the ground. He remembered Benny’s furious voice, cursing loudly, and then the void.

“Yeah… yeah, I’m fine,” Dean muttered, squeezing his eyes shut against the burning pain. “Damn… I’m fine, just… weak. Where are we?”

“Close,” Benny replied, adjusting Dean’s weight in his arms. The smell of wet earth and rust began to mix with blood. “Had to stop for a bit to patch you up.”

Dean let out a short laugh, almost a groan.
“So, you get hungry? Bet I smell irresistible, huh?” The teasing came out rough, memories of Purgatory creeping in—nights he’d woken to Benny licking at wounds on his body, always trying to disguise the need. Since Cas had shown up, those scenes had stopped; his angel never let the vampire get too close.

Benny flashed all his teeth in a smile that looked more animal than human.
“A little, chief. But don’t worry, I did nothing but the necessary. Don’t wanna end up on your angel’s bad side. Especially not when we show up at your folks’ place with you bleeding in my arms… doesn’t look good.”

Dean snorted, exhausted, closing his eyes for a moment.
“Careful, okay? Cas might not be there, but Bobby… he…”

“Bobby? Your Bobby? The one you kept talkin’ about? Wasn’t he dead?”

Dean’s mind spun. Damn. Benny didn’t even know what had happened. If he’d just woken up, then… he knew nothing.

“Okay, listen. We’re in the past. The year is 2002. I woke up here weeks ago. Cas is here too and—” His heart lurched. “Shit! Jack! I forgot about the kid!”

Benny frowned but didn’t ask anything. He only tightened his grip on Dean and quickened his pace, the forest fading behind them until the faint lights of Bobby’s scrapyard appeared.

Seeing the house was like breathing after drowning. But the relief lasted only seconds. A desperate cry split the silence, and from the door came Castiel—carrying Jack in his arms. The angel looked anything but celestial in that moment. His eyes burned with an inhuman fury, his face carved in pure menace, and there was something predatory in every step. Jack, in his arms, cried with the same intense glow in his eyes.

The air grew heavy. Even Benny, usually calm, stiffened as if facing a greater predator.

“Hey, hey, angel!” He raised his hands, but his voice shook. “Easy there, feathers, it’s me. I’m a friend, remember?”

“He doesn’t remember…” Dean tried to explain, his voice failing.

“And you’re just telling me now?!” Cas snarled, and the sound vibrated through Dean’s chest. It was low, almost animal, closer to a wolf or bear than anything human. The baby in his arms suddenly stopped crying, staring up at him as if calming him with a silent gesture.

Cas drew a deep breath, closing his eyes.
“I understand.”

As he stepped closer, he turned briefly toward the window. Dean followed his gaze and his heart froze: Bobby was behind the curtains, aiming a shotgun straight at Benny’s head. Only when Cas gestured did Bobby reluctantly lower the weapon.

“You’re hurt,” said the angel, his eyes back on Dean.

Before Dean could answer, Cas placed both hands on his shoulder, and the heat of healing burned from the inside, pulling a low groan of relief from him. The pain vanished. Jack was carefully placed back into Dean’s arms, and the boy nestled against him with a sigh.

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean murmured, clutching the baby to his chest.

Benny, more at ease now, set him gently on his feet. But they had no time to breathe: Bobby appeared in the doorway, shotgun still in hand, his eyes locked on the vampire.

“He’s fine, Bobby, Dean’s fine,” Cas said, but Bobby didn’t blink.

“Jack says he’s a friend,” the angel added.

“I’ll decide that.” Bobby raised the gun again.

“What the hell?!” Benny’s eyes widened just before holy water splashed across his face. “What the fuck, man!?”

Dean burst into laughter, even exhausted, but quickly lifted a hand to stop Bobby from pulling a silver blade.
“Easy, easy, let’s just go inside. I need to get out of here as soon as possible. My dad could be on my tail and I don’t want you caught in this Winchester mess.”

“The hell you don’t!” Bobby snapped back. “You disappeared for days, boy!”

“I know, my dad… he—”

“He looked like a goddamn lunatic!” Benny cut in, still wiping his face. “That bastard shot at the chief!”

“And who the hell are you?” Bobby swung his glare back to the vampire, ready to shoot again.

“I—”

“Benjamin Lafitte,” Castiel interrupted, voice calm but firm. “Vampire. Dean’s close friend.”

“Real close,” Benny muttered, trying to provoke. But the smile died quick when Cas only frowned with that confused, angelic expression. “What’s wrong with the feathers? He’s even more spaced out than before.”

“No memories, remember?” Dean sighed.

“Oh, right.”

“Cut the crap! Goddamn idiots, what the hell is going on here?” Bobby exploded, shotgun still steady. “Who is this man, Dean?”

“I can explain—” Cas began, but Bobby raised a hand.

“I want to hear it from the Winchester. Thanks, Cas.”

“You’re welcome.”

Dean huffed, hugging Jack tighter and gesturing toward Benny.
“Bobby, this is Benny. A vampire. But he’s a friend.”

“Yeah,” Benny lifted his brows. “Humans are friends. Not food.”

The joke drew only a sigh from Dean. The tension didn’t ease. Bobby pinched the bridge of his nose, exhausted, and turned back into the house.
“Inside. Now.”

When they reached the kitchen table, Bobby already had two whiskey bottles open. He leaned back in his chair, eyes hard on the three of them.
“Alright. Start talking.”

The silence was suffocating. The smell of rust, whiskey, and gunpowder hung heavy in the air. Dean settled Jack in his lap, the baby playing with his jacket like there wasn’t a storm raging around them. The contrast only made the knot in his stomach worse.

Dean drew in a deep breath, trying to figure out where to begin.
“Bobby… it’s complicated, but I can try to make it simple…”

“I don’t want simple, I want the truth.” The hunter slapped his palm against the table, the sound sharp. “Start with him. Who is he?” He jerked his chin toward Benny.

“I already told you—”

“Quiet, Cas. I want to hear it from him.”

Benny shifted in his chair, his drawl heavier under the tension.
“Benjamin Lafitte. Call me Benny. And yeah, I’m a vampire. But if it helps, I don’t drink from humans—not without permission and hardly ever straight from the vein. I really don’t know what’s going on. I woke up just a few hours ago and already had to run for my life and Dean’s.”

The silence dropped heavier. Bobby raised his brows, unconvinced.
“And why the hell should I believe you?”

“Because,” Dean cut in, firm, “he saved me. More than once. If I’m breathing right now, it’s because of him. Otherwise I’d still be locked up with my dad.”

Bobby’s eyes narrowed, but he didn’t answer. Only took a long swig of whiskey.

That’s when Cas spoke, his voice calm, almost mechanical:
“He isn’t lying.”

Bobby shot him a sharp look. “And since when do I trust a vampire on the word of an angel with no memory?”

Cas tried to add something, but Dean rubbed at his temples, worn out.
“Look, Bobby, we don’t have time to fight each other. My dad’s lost it! He’s really gone crazy, I’ve never seen him like this.”

The mention of John made the air heavier. Bobby’s face hardened, but pain burned under the anger.
“Your dad seemed out of his mind last time I talked to him, Dean. His voice… never heard John like that.”

Dean shut his eyes, the memory of gunshots still echoing in his head. His shoulder no longer hurt, but the memory did.
“I don’t know what went wrong, Bobby. It was so strange—he acted like demons were after us! He banned me from using the phone, kept me locked up the whole time while driving around looking for some hunter named Thelma and…”

“Thelma?” Bobby looked more worried now, if that was possible. “What the hell did your idiot father want with her, did he tell you?”

“Huh? No, I don’t even know who she is or why he wanted her, I just—”

“This isn’t good, Dean, not good at all. John’s gonna do something stupid, I know it.”

“Huh, why?”

“Thelma’s a demon specialist.” Everyone went quiet; even breathing seemed to stop. “I sent your dad to her right after we met. He told me about your mother, and I spotted some demonic signs in his description. At the time I was more worried about him dragging two kids on hunts, so I sent him to Thelma and asked him to leave you and Sam with me. The problem with Thelma is… she’s sadistic. Known for summoning demons and torturing them.”

Cas frowned, and Jack babbled as if questioning the reason himself.

“Thelma’s daughter made a deal with a demon years ago. They killed her right in front of her. She was never the same. She knows she can’t kill demons, but the thrill’s in torturing them. That’s what she does best. When we need answers, we call Thelma—she always gets what she wants out of them.”

“What, but… but how! I’ve met demons, Bobby, they never give in to humans!”

“Well, if you’d asked me that before, I’d say I don’t know her secret. But now that I’ve met your winged friend here”—he gestured toward Castiel seated beside Dean—“I can tell you for sure that woman’s got an angel blade.”

Silence. Shit just got worse. As if Dean’s father losing it wasn’t enough, now he was working with another lunatic—and not just any lunatic, but one armed with the worst weapon possible.

“Son of a bitch…” Dean’s fury made the baby in his arms whimper, and he quickly soothed him, rocking gently so he wouldn’t scare him more. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Benny’s wide-eyed stare as he noticed the pair of wings that had been wrapped protectively around Jack. “Okay, so let me get this straight: not only do we need to figure out how to get Cas’s memory back, what or who brought Benny back, and how to stop the damn world from ending, but we also gotta deal with my dad, a hunter order, and some lunatic armed with the only weapon that can kill Cas?”

“Well…” Cas was the first to break the silence. Bobby looked tense, Benny nervous and confused, but Cas seemed unnervingly calm. “Actually, the only thing we need to do is recover my memory.”

Dean frowned. He wasn’t sure his angel had been following the conversation.
“Cas.”

“It was Jack who brought Benny.”

The hunters went quiet, processing his words, but the vampire reacted much more vividly. Benny’s eyes went wide, locking onto the winged baby.
“The kid brought me back from the dead!?”

Cas nodded, while Jack only giggled—a delicious laugh that made Dean breathe easier than he had in days.

“Explain yourself better, dumbass,” Bobby demanded, downing another glass of whiskey.

“Well, since I arrived, Jack’s told me a few important things, and it seems it’s thanks to him we’re all here. More precisely, me, Benny, and you, Dean.”

“Yeah, Gabriel explained some of that to me, but what’s Benny got to do with it?”

Cas shrugged.
“The boy grew worried when you didn’t come home. His cry was heard by me and others like me. Before I knew what was happening, I was pulled into Bobby’s living room—”

“Yeah, his damn motorcycle wrecked my rug,” Bobby muttered.

Cas ignored the complaint and went on.
“Jack said he was leaving me alone for a while, since he knew it was strange for me being without memories, but he believed I could find you thanks to our ‘deep bond.’” Benny snorted, mimicking air quotes, but kept quiet instead of mocking Cas and Dean’s bond. “When I couldn’t find you, Jack grew more worried, and then his eyes glowed and he passed out. He only woke up when you showed up with your friend at Bobby’s door.”

Dean sighed, weary, his headache pounding worse. He didn’t know what to say or how to react, but Jack stretched his tiny hand toward his face, as if to calm him. Dean smiled. After so many days away from the boy, having him back in his arms was an enormous relief. He’d even forgotten how good it felt to hold a baby. He rarely had since Sam grew up, and the few times he had, the baby wasn’t his—so he never let himself get too attached.

“So, to put it clearer, Jack can just bring people back from the dead?”

Cas seemed to listen to something, then shook his head.
“Actually, he can only bring back people who died before you.”

“Huh? Why am I the reference point?”

Cas shrugged.
“He doesn’t know either. He’s trying to explain some things to me, but I really can’t understand without a greater context. Anyway, it seems only we and the angels can recall anything—something to do with Heaven not having a temporal cycle like Earth, Hell, or Purgatory.”

Bobby looked skeptical hearing Cas’s words, but Dean somehow grasped bits of it.
“Alright, so that means the apocalypse is still a concern?” This time he asked directly to Jack. Bobby seemed increasingly doubtful of the whole conversation, but stayed silent.

“Mm, Jack says yes. Seems that since he’s the new ‘boss,’ he chose to do things differently from his predecessor and allow free will for everyone. Which means angels can choose to interfere or not, and Jack can’t guide us. He said he had to give up his omnipotence when he struck a deal with the ‘Empty.’”

Bobby slapped his thighs and stood, heading for the panic room while grumbling that he couldn’t listen to any more of this tonight. In the end, only the four of them remained, with no idea what to do next.

“Well, I’ll let the lovebirds hash it out. I’m gonna hit a hospital to feed. See y’all tomorrow, chief, feathers.” And before anyone could reply, the vampire was out the door. Not that Dean could blame him—he’d run from this madness too if he could.

His head ached, so he closed his eyes, trying to block it out. A terrible idea.

“Dean.” Cas’s hand touched his right shoulder. There was no mark there anymore, but the peace that always surged when Cas touched him still came.

“Hey, Cas.”

The angel sat closer, and Jack stretched his little hand to grab his father’s trench coat. Dean smiled.
“Well, looks like someone liked my gift.”

“Yes,” Cas answered softly, his deep voice roughened by the low tone. “I liked this coat a lot. It brought me good memories.”

Dean’s heart thudded with hope. At least something good had happened.
“What did you remember, Cas?”

“I remembered nights like this.”

“Terrible nights?” Dean teased, exhausted, but Cas only chuckled low and shook his head.
“No, nights when we were like this. Sitting together, speaking softly so no one would wake.” His face warmed at the memory. Dean’s cheeks flushed too; those had been his favorite moments of the day—sitting and drinking beside his best friend, sharing thoughts and stories, talking about movies or things they’d seen while apart. Dean had loved that. “I still don’t remember much, but I’m glad I remembered more about you.”

They shared a smile, and Jack chose that moment to reveal he’d fallen asleep, a tiny snore rumbling from his little throat. Both laughed. Jack had dozed off against Dean’s chest, one hand gripping his shirt and the other clutching Cas’s coat.

They should’ve pulled away and put the boy in a bed, but neither moved. When Dean drifted to sleep against Cas, the angel simply scooped him and Jack into his arms and carried them to Dean’s room.

Castiel kept watch over their sleep all night.

Chapter Text

Dean blinked a few times, trying to focus on the phone screen in his hands.

- How’s your Winchester? –

He had to reread the message twice, three times, before realizing he was holding the wrong phone. It wasn’t his.

Downstairs, the muffled sound of conversation reached the room. Cas and Jack were talking about… bees? Honey? Dean was too tired to care. Honestly, he was too tired for anything. He had only gotten up because he heard the phone vibrating and, for a second, thought it might be John trying to contact him.

But it wasn’t. The messages were from Balthazar.

- Has the little boss stopped crying yet? –

Dean didn’t reply.

-Gabriel needs you somewhere else, let us know when you can leave.–

He sighed heavily, letting the phone fall onto the bed. The weight of frustration pressed against his chest. He had barely seen Cas, barely spoken to him… and he already had to leave again. Loneliness always seemed to lurk, waiting for the right moment to pull him under.

He stood up slowly, his body protesting every movement. Exhaustion was a constant shadow whenever he was near his father. Funny—or cruel—how it worked: when he was away from John, he felt angry, restless, ready to explode. But just being close, or even thinking of him, left him… meek, drained, diminished.

As he descended the stairs, the first voice he heard was Benny’s.

“Chief?” The vampire raised a brow, sitting next to Bobby. The sight was strange: the two actually seemed to be getting along. “You look like hell, Dean.”

Dean forced a crooked smile, without showing his teeth. He didn’t have the energy to respond. He just needed coffee.

“Good morning, Dean,” Cas said as soon as he entered the kitchen.

Dean lifted his eyes and couldn’t hold back a low, rough laugh, even in his exhaustion. The sight was absurd: Castiel poking a toaster with a fork, completely unaware of the risk of blowing up the entire kitchen. Beside him, Jack floated, trying to imitate his father—only with a spoon. A pair of domestic chaos that, somehow, looked adorable.

“Cas, Jack… what the hell are you doing?”

"Breakfeast"

Jack flew straight to him, babbling as if trying to explain something. Dean didn’t understand a word, but he noticed something else: how easily the baby moved in the air. Agile, steady, as if he had learned to master his wings on his own. That realization hit him hard. He hadn’t been there when Jack learned to fly. He had missed it.

“He did well,” Cas said, stepping closer. His blue eyes stayed on his son, who was still flying around them, making excited sounds. “When I arrived at Bobby’s, he was panicked. He couldn’t stop flapping his wings, flying uncontrollably like a trapped fly. Bobby didn’t know what to do… neither did I.”

Jack suddenly landed, falling into Cas’s arms, but immediately stretched his small hands toward Dean. The hunter carefully took him.

“You taught him to fly?”

Cas shook his head, a little melancholic.

“No. I don’t know how to fly, or rather, I don’t remember how. I was just as lost as Bobby. So I texted Balthazar. They showed up within seconds. Suddenly, the house was full of Gabriel and Raphael.”

Dean raised an eyebrow, surprised, walking to the coffeemaker with Jack in his arm.

“Two archangels, Cas? Why didn’t they send any lower-ranked angel?”

Cas seemed animated, stepping closer again, almost pressing his body against Dean’s while he poured coffee.

“I discovered more about my past.” His voice carried a soft excitement. “Did you know I was considered one of the fastest in Heaven?”

Dean turned, genuinely surprised. He had never really asked about Cas’s past. He had never cared. Cas wasn’t “Castiel, the soldier of Heaven.” To Dean, he was just… Cas. The friend. The idiot who messed up while trying to do the right thing. The man who was always there. And, if he were honest, the only one Dean truly loved—though he had no idea how to show it.

“Dean?” Cas asked, confused at the silence.

He cleared his throat, trying to hide the knot forming there, and held Jack a little tighter in his arms.

“Sorry. Zoned out. Go on.”

The angel smiled, satisfied, and they sat at the table. Jack also seemed attentive, flapping his wings as if he wanted to join in.

“Gabriel explained to me that angels aren’t born, they simply… come into existence. But even so, we learn. When created, we were divided into four groups.”

Dean raised his brows, curious.

“The angels with the strongest grace were given to Michael, to learn how to fight and lead his garrisons in the future.”

Dean scoffed inwardly. Figures. Michael had always been an authoritarian jerk.

“Those inclined to knowledge and healing went to Raphael, who maintained the stability of angels.”

“Wait. Are you saying Raphael was the one responsible for wiping angels’ minds, like Naomi?” Dean felt his blood boil.

Cas tilted his head.

“Who is Naomi?”

Dean sighed. “Forget it. Keep going.”

Cas continued, and Jack flapped his wings as if cheering him on.

“Gabriel trained the messengers, the ones tasked with communicating with prophets or carrying out missions on Earth. He enjoyed taking his pupils to admire God’s creation up close.”

Dean arched a brow.

“So you were Gabriel’s? I thought you’d be Michael’s… or Raphael’s. I mean, from what I know, you led a garrison and you were badass enough to be the only angel to pull me out of Hell, so I figured you were Michael’s.”

Cas shrugged.

“Actually, my mentor was Samael.”

The silence that followed was heavy. Dean set his coffee down, Jack’s wings drooped, and both stared at Cas as if they’d misheard him.

“What?” Cas asked, innocently.

Dean blinked, glancing at the baby in his arms before looking back at the angel. It was ironic—and maybe inevitable—that Cas had been trained by Lucifer. In the end, it made sense. Cas had always been different from the others, always choosing what was right over what Heaven deemed correct. He had turned against his brothers, against God. And now… he was raising the Devil’s child as his own.

Dean let out a humorless, weary laugh. It was insane how much Castiel and Lucifer could resemble each other in some ways.

“Fuck it. I need something stronger.”

He handed Jack back to Cas and walked into the living room. He found Bobby and Benny on the couch, watching him with a mix of surprise and weariness—they’d clearly been listening in. Without Dean even asking, Bobby shoved a whiskey bottle toward him. Benny was already pouring himself another glass.

The coffee got a generous splash of alcohol, and Dean drank the first swallow like a man gasping for air.

Dean slumped on the couch, his mug now more whiskey than coffee. The burn in his throat didn’t reach the weight inside him.

Benny leaned back beside him, arms crossed, eyes sharp. Bobby, in the armchair, watched him like he was calculating just how close Dean was to breaking.

The floor creaked, and Castiel entered, holding Jack against his chest. The baby was calm, babbling softly as he curled his tiny fingers into Cas’s coat. The image was almost too peaceful for a room so heavy with tension.

“Jack asked me to tell you that drinking this early isn’t healthy, especially on an empty stomach,” the angel remarked, though without judgment, just relaying the message of the young God in his arms. He sat beside Dean, staying still while Jack tried to grab Dean’s mug.

Bobby cleared his throat, breaking the silence.

“Dean, we need to finish the talk from yesterday. I let it slide because you were exhausted, but now we have to be serious, boy.” His eyes were hard, tone firm. “Your father’s out of his mind. Worse, he probably thinks you’ve been kidnapped or worse. You and I both know how vengeful and unstoppable that man can be when he sets his mind to something. So, what’s the plan?”

Dean stared at the glass in his hand, swirling the amber liquid. His stomach twisted. He didn’t have a plan. Not anymore.

“Plan?” He gave a humorless laugh. “The plan was to prepare my dad for the idea of me raising a baby, then eventually tell him the truth about Jack’s origins and ask for his support and help. You know, like kids usually do when they’re scared and lost. Turn to their father for shelter and strength.”

A heavy sigh slipped from his lips. He felt defeated, and it was so unfair. He finally had Cas and Jack together again, just like he wanted, but now that wasn’t a good thing, because he couldn’t stay with them. It was dangerous, and he didn’t want to risk Jack—or worse, his father.

“For now, the plan is… to run. Run until I figure out something better.”

Bobby frowned. “Running won’t solve anything, Dean.”

“It won’t,” Dean agreed, finally meeting the old hunter’s eyes. “But it buys me time. Time to think of something that doesn’t end with my father killing my family—or my family having to kill my father to protect themselves!”

The silence stretched. Dean took a deep breath, looked at Jack in Cas’s arms. The child watched him intently, tiny wings fluttering as if sensing the tension.

“I wish I could leave him here with you, Bobby, where I know he’d be safe.” His voice came out low, heavy. “But John will come after you soon, maybe he’s already on his way. I can’t risk it. I won’t make you or Jack targets because of me.”

Cas straightened, nodding to himself as if reaching a decision.

“Then leave him with me.”

Dean blinked, startled.

“What?”

“I’ll take care of Jack while you deal with your father,” the angel said without hesitation. His arms closed protectively around the baby, like a shield. “He’ll be safe with me.”

Dean’s chest tightened. Part of him knew he could trust Cas blindly, knew Jack would be safe—after all, Cas was the boy’s father, the one who protected him from Heaven and Hell alike. But another part—the most tired, broken, needy part—couldn’t bear the thought of separating from the boy.

“You didn’t even want to see him…” It came out harsher than he meant, but that was how Dean was: cruel when in pain. The thought of separating from Cas and Jack again—it hurt. “What changed?”

The angel looked at Jack. The baby met his gaze, and they both got lost in each other for a moment before Cas smiled and answered.

“I still feel I have a mission to fulfill, that something greater than Jack is pulling me. But that feeling weakens when I’m with him. Somehow, I feel in control with Jack in my arms. During the days you were gone, I spent a lot of time with Gabriel. He believes something powerful may be trying to manipulate me. It wouldn’t just be me protecting Jack—Jack would also be protecting me.” He looked into Dean’s eyes. “We’ll be fine, Dean. The sooner you settle things with your father, the sooner we can be together again.”

Before Dean could answer, Benny leaned forward, his slow drawl filling the room.

“Well, if the angel’s keeping the kid, I’ll stick with the Winchester. Ain’t safe for the Chief to walk around alone, especially if what old Bobby here said is true and your daddy thinks you’re caught up in something demonic.” The vampire looked Dean straight in the eye. “It’ll be my pleasure to fight by your side again, Dean.”

Dean raised his eyes to his friend. Benny didn’t seem to be offering; it sounded like a decision already made.

“Benny—”

“Don’t argue.” The vampire smirked. “You’re gonna need someone to keep your head straight when shit goes south. And honestly, I don’t trust you not to screw up on your own—especially in your little ‘widowed housewife’ state.”

Dean scoffed, unable to hide the flicker of relief inside him. He looked from Cas to Benny, then to Bobby, who watched everything in silence—his face stern, but his eyes full of worry.

For a moment, Dean felt a spark of peace. Small, but real. He wasn’t alone. He’d be okay.

“Well, if we’re splitting up, we need to make sure you know what you’re doing, Cas.”

The angel tilted his head in confusion, but Jack seemed to understand perfectly and laughed at his father.

Chapter Text

Cas didn’t know much about many things. His memories were scattered pieces — broken fragments of enormous wings, green eyes staring at him intensely, the silhouette of a tall man surrounded by terrible screams. That was it. Nothing whole. Still, there were truths about himself he carried with absolute certainty.

The first: Cas was a fighter. A warrior. A soldier. During the time he stayed at Bobby’s house, watching war documentaries on TV while waiting for Dean, he recognized that in himself. The strategies, the chaos, the brutality — everything felt so familiar that there was no doubt he had marched through countless battles. Perhaps even wars worse than those fought by humans.

The second: Cas was old. Not old like Dean sometimes joked about himself, complaining about his back or hangovers. Cas didn’t feel pain. He didn’t feel anything physical, actually. But he knew — with a certainty that needed no proof — that he was the oldest creature still walking the Earth. One memory flash supported this: he saw a small creature crawling out of the vast sea, slow and clumsy, trying to adapt to the dry world for the first time. And a voice told him, firm and grave:
“Do not step on that fish, Castiel. Great plans await this fish.”
He had never heard about the origin of humans, but deep inside, he was certain that fish was the beginning of everything.

The third: Cas was a parent. The parent of a being of immense power, loved and revered by all — but above all, by Dean. His human friend had undeniable affection for Jack, even if he tried to mask it with sarcasm or indifference. Cas noticed. Dean hovered nearby, always ready to catch him if the boy’s wings failed. Seeing Dean like that, so protective, was funny. Baltazar called it “mother hen.” Cas only knew it was adorable. And he loved watching.

And finally, the most indisputable of all truths: Cas was a warrior. A protector. Perhaps even a killer of his own kind — if Uriel and Baltazar’s accusations were true. But, in any case, there was one thing he definitely was not.

He was not a good mother.

“What the hell is so difficult about—”
“Calm down, Chief. The angel is trying!”

Cas sighed deeply. He was already starting to regret volunteering to take care of Jack alone. Being a warrior was one thing; keeping a tiny, all-powerful being alive was a completely different mission. One that terrified him far more than any battle.

“Dean, calm down. Don’t you think it’s asking too much for a literal angel to try to change a diaper?” Bobby muttered, trying to bring some reason to the argument.

But that did nothing to calm Dean.

“You’re kidding me, right?!” He exploded, gesturing at Cas, who was standing in the middle of the room, holding an open diaper like it was a great enigma. “This guy has pulled souls straight from hell, Bobby! From hell! How can this be harder than putting a diaper on a baby?”

Cas blinked, as serious as ever, and cast an uncomfortable glance at little Jack, who was flapping his legs and wings on the couch, laughing as if he understood the confusion he caused.

“It’s… more complicated than it seems, Dean,” Cas replied, his voice calm, almost offended. He lifted the diaper awkwardly, as if he didn’t even know which side was front or back. “There are… straps. And adhesives. And an order that must be followed.”

Dean rubbed his face, exasperated. “My God, you’re not trying to set a trap, Cas, it’s just a diaper!”

“Actually,” Cas countered serenely, “I’ve set traps before. That was considerably simpler.”

Benny coughed to hide a laugh, while Dean stared at Castiel like he was the most incomprehensible creature on the planet.

“You—” Dean pointed, choked between anger and disbelief. “You’re the angel of the Lord, with wings and a sword and I-don’t-know-what-else, and you can’t handle a few-months-old baby who weighs less than your pants?”

Jack laughed loudly, clapping his hands, as if approving the scolding. If Cas focused, he could swear he could hear a few teasing words from Jack.

Cas looked at Dean, then at the baby, then back at the diaper, as if silently challenging it.

“I will succeed,” he finally declared. He would not give up, no matter what; he had promised to help Dean and he would do it one way or another!

“Great,” Dean huffed, crossing his arms. “Because if you don’t, I’m filming it. And then I’ll laugh at your face for all eternity.”

Jack giggled again, as if he understood exactly what was happening. Cas could only stay quiet and sigh.

Jack lay on the couch, laughing and kicking the air, as if he knew three adults were about to lose their dignity because of him.

Cas knelt beside the baby, the diaper open in his hands, his brow furrowed in concentration. Bobby crouched on the other side, scratching his beard with a frown, and Benny crossed his arms, watching with interest.

“Okay,” Cas said solemnly. “Apparently, the side with the designs should face outward.”

“Don’t tell me. Or did you think the manufacturer spent money on the cute little bear for no one to see it?” Bobby muttered, pulling the diaper from Cas’s hands and turning it. “This is the inside, genius.”

Benny leaned forward, pointing. “And these straps… go in front, right?”

“No,” Cas replied seriously, holding the tapes as if they were magical runes. “They attach in the back, to hold the structure.”

“Structure?” Bobby raised an eyebrow.

Behind them, Dean huffed loudly, arms crossed.

Cas carefully placed the diaper under the baby as he had seen Dean do before, taking care not to scratch Jack’s soft skin accidentally, but when he pulled the tapes, they immediately stuck to his coat sleeve. He tried to release them, but the adhesive pulled the sleeve, and the diaper folded strangely, forming a kind of disastrous origami.

“I… think I stuck it to myself.”

“I don’t believe this.” Dean rubbed his face.

“Hold the baby, Cas!” Bobby ordered, moving Jack aside and yanking the diaper from the angel’s jacket. The sound of the adhesive peeling off echoed as if it were more humiliating than any defeat.

Benny grabbed another diaper, twirled it in his hands, and said thoughtfully, “What if we just stick one side to the other? Like… this?” The way the vampire held the diaper over Jack’s legs looked wrong, as if he wanted to dress the baby in a skirt or belt.

Dean’s eyes went wide, looking more stressed than Cas had ever seen. On one hand, it was concerning how much stress was evident in the Winchester, on the other, it was adorable how much Dean obviously wanted Cas to succeed so Jack would be well cared for by him.

Jack laughed so loudly he hiccuped, while Cas tried again to place the diaper under the boy, this time without letting the straps stick to his clothes.

“I will succeed,” he insisted firmly, not taking his eyes off Jack. “No matter how many attempts it takes.”

Dean shook his head, exasperated.

“Jesus Christ. Step aside.” Dean pushed Benny to the side with his shoulder and knelt next to Cas. “I’ll show you just one more time, okay? Pay attention, Cas.”

Dean’s hands moved with impressive speed, as if handling something far more serious than a diaper. Cas had seen those same hands take down Wendigos, handle blades with deadly precision, and even rebuild a car engine as if it were part of his own anatomy. But now… now they were strangely delicate.

Dean adjusted the cloth with almost supernatural patience, making sure not to scratch Jack’s sensitive skin, stretching each flap so it wouldn’t be uncomfortable. And whenever he noticed the baby frown, he pretended to bite his little pink feet, eliciting giggles.

“All done.” Dean clapped his hands, but quietly. Jack hated loud noises, and he did everything to never scare him. “The most important thing is to secure the diaper properly, or the consequences will be unpleasant.”

“Like… waking up in the middle of the night covered in stuff no one should have to deal with.”
He laughed at himself, clearly speaking from experience. Cas blinked slowly, taking it all in. He had seen Dean change a diaper before, but he was always distracted by the softness of the fabric or the hunter’s natural ease with his hands. Now, for the first time, he was paying one hundred percent attention to the lesson.

“I understand.”

“And don’t forget: only this brand, this size here.” Dean pointed to the blue pack leaning against the wall. “Otherwise, the little brat cries all night and… well, your sanity is over. Trust me.”

“Alright, Dean.” Cas stood up with him. Dean wiped his knees and, almost automatically, picked Jack up. “So now that you’ve taught me everything, will you be calmer leaving Jack with me?”

Dean blinked, surprised by the question. Jack also seemed to stare at the angel with a sort of silent judgment. Behind them, Bobby and Benny were laughing loudly, as if watching the best comedy show on TV.

“Everything? Dude, that was just the first lesson.” Dean adjusted Jack in his arms and started walking around the room like an infantry sergeant. “You still need to learn how to prepare the bottle, give a bath, check for fever, strap the baby in the sidecar of the bike — because, let me be clear, Jack isn’t riding the Ammy without safety.”

He was already marching around the room, dumping instructions non-stop. Cas just watched in silence, impressed. It was astonishing: so many little worries just to keep such a tiny creature alive. No wonder humans worshiped mothers so much — it was almost miraculous.

“Cas!” Dean shouted now from the kitchen, making the angel jump. “Hurry up, man! We don’t have much time to teach you everything. Step it up!”

Cas exhaled but ran after him. He seemed exhausted, yes… but if it was to take care of Jack — and give Dean some peace — he would learn. And he would do everything right.

The kitchen was quiet until Dean tossed a container of powdered milk onto the table with a thump. Cas blinked at the object as if it were some newly discovered mystical artifact. Bobby and Benny were already settled in chairs, Bobby with his arms crossed watching the whole scene with amusement, Benny with a bag of blood in one hand and holding Jack on his lap with the other, clearly ready to watch the spectacle.

“Okay, Cas. Lesson two.” Dean pointed to the container, then to the empty bottle. “This is science. Precision. You cannot get it wrong.”

Cas tilted his head, serious. “Like a potion?”

Dean narrowed his eyes. “No. Not like a damn potion. This is baby formula, not some witch spell we hunt. And if you mess it up, Jack will be sick or gassy all night. Got it?”

The angel just nodded firmly. Dean sighed, opening the bottle and picking up the measuring spoon.

“First: filtered water. Lukewarm, not boiling. Not cold. Lukewarm. Because if it’s too hot, you cook the baby’s mouth. Too cold, his stomach becomes a battlefield.”

He poured the water into the measuring cup, then into the bottle. His movements were fast, exact, as if he’d done it a hundred times (and he had).

Cas watched every gesture with nearly glowing eyes. “And how do you determine the exact temperature?”

Dean raised an eyebrow, brought the bottle to his wrist, and touched a drop to his skin. “Like this, man.”

Benny leaned forward in the chair, laughing. “Chief, you’re full of surprises. Who would’ve thought the same man who made Leviathans run in fear would be the same one giving motherhood lessons to an angel?”

Dean shot him a deadly glare but ignored the vampire when Bobby turned horrified toward Benny.

“Leviathans? What the hell does that mean!”

They decided to ignore the older hunter for now.

“Now, the important part. A full scoop of powder, not heaping, not half. One scoop for every two ounces of water. If you mess it up, it’s chaos.”

Bobby muttered, half-amused: “Trust me, Cas, this kid can eat some questionable stuff, but if he drinks the wrong formula, he’ll spend the night swimming in crap.”

Dean huffed. “You know that well, right Bobby?” The other hunter flipped him off; Dean just ignored it and then handed the spoon to Cas. “Your turn.”

Cas took the spoon with steady hands. He dipped it into the powder with exaggerated delicacy, and when he pulled it out, the spoon was overflowing.

“No, no, no!” Dean almost freaked out. “You want to kill the kid? Level it off!”

Cas looked at the spoon, then at Dean. “I don’t fully understand the logic here. For human teenagers, they need lots of food because they’re in a ‘growth phase,’ but for babies it’s less? Aren’t they the ones who need to grow the most? More food is more strength.”

“That’s not how it works, Cas.” Dean ran a hand over his face, trying to control frustration and laughter — he seemed torn between laughing and pulling his hair out. “Trust me, you don’t want to be near Jack after a formula overdose.”

Dean stepped closer and took Cas’s hand, guiding his fingers to level the spoon against the edge. The touch was brief, but Cas fixed his eyes on the movement, memorizing every detail as if it were crucial to learn.

“Now pour.”

Cas tilted the spoon carefully, as if handling nitroglycerin. The powder fell into the bottle. He repeated the operation a few more times, with Dean supervising closely.

“Good. Now cap it.”

Cas obeyed, but screwed the cap on so tightly that Dean had to intervene. “No need to twist so hard, man! Just until it clicks, okay?”

Cas relaxed his fingers, but understood and nodded.

“Next part is shaking.” Dean waved his hands in the air to demonstrate. “But firm, no laziness. You have to mix everything without lumps.”

The angel picked up the bottle and began shaking it so vigorously it looked like he was trying to summon an earthquake.

“Whoa, Cas!” Dean grabbed his arm. “You’re not trying to blow up the bottle, just mix the milk!”

Bobby and Benny were almost falling out of their chairs laughing, even Jack — the little traitor — joined in the giggles.

Dean rolled his eyes and, sighing, took the bottle. Shook it a few times, gently, rhythmically. “Like this. See? Easy.”

Cas imitated the motion, this time more controlled. And when he finished, he raised the bottle like a trophy, staring at Dean seriously. “Ready?”

Dean took the bottle, gave it another quick shake, and tested it again on his wrist. “Yes. Jack should drink this before bed and after waking up, and you need to burp him after each feeding, otherwise he might reflux and vomit, understood?”

“Understood.”

“Good, Cas. Next time you’ll do it alone. I’ll trust that you’ll do it right, okay?”

Cas just nodded, like a soldier receiving orders. But when he saw Jack grab the bottle and happily start sucking, a small smile appeared on his lips.

And Dean, without commenting, noticed the smile.

After finishing his milk, Jack burped and quickly fell asleep. Dean explained that it was necessary to have short naps during the day; otherwise, Jack would get tired and start crying. This was important information for Cas, especially because he rarely paused in his own days, always focused on missions from Baltazar, so focused that he would never stop driving until the tank ran dry. He would have to be more careful with his habits now that he would be traveling with a baby.

It was already three in the afternoon. Benny was on the couch, watching a show about vampires and laughing at every silly thing on the screen, while Bobby had gone out for a walk with his old dog, one that Cas refused to be near no matter what Bobby said about it being harmless. Cas was convinced that animal wanted to attack Jack and eat him!

“Come on, Cas, if we go past this time, he won’t take a bath!” The creak of the wooden floor echoed under Dean’s steps as he climbed the stairs with Jack nestled in his arms. The baby snored softly, tiny wings lazily brushing against the hunter’s shirt. Cas ran right behind, not wanting to miss a single new lesson.

In the small upstairs bathroom, Dean turned on the bathtub faucet, adjusting the water with calculated movements. He tested the temperature with his hand and nodded to himself.

“First rule of bath time, Cas: never forget this. A baby’s skin isn’t like an adult’s. Their skin is sensitive, like… I don’t know, tissue paper, got it?”

Cas tilted his head, watching the water as if it held all the answers in the world. “And if the temperature changes during the bath?”

Dean snorted. “Then you adjust. Don’t let it get too cold, don’t let it boil. Balance.”

Cas stored that as if it were a life philosophy and nodded.

Dean held Jack in his arm, carefully removing the tiny clothes. The baby fussed, bothered by the cold air. Dean automatically kissed the top of his head and murmured a few gentle words, quickly calming Jack.

Cas watched every gesture, fascinated. The delicacy contrasted with everything he had ever seen Dean do: hands that killed monsters now removed a baby sock as if it were the most precious thing in the world.

“Now comes the fun part.” Dean glanced at him sideways. “You’re going to hold him in the water.”

Cas blinked, confused. “Me?”

“Yes, you. Hold him firmly, but not like you’re going to break him. Support the head, always the head. If you let go, it’s over. So don’t let go.”

Cas approached the tub, knelt down, and received Jack from Dean’s hands. Wide wings fluttered as they touched the water, splashing droplets onto the tiles. Cas stiffened, arms rigid as statues, fearing he might do something wrong and scare Jack.

“Relax, Cas!” Dean laughed softly, placing his hand over Cas’s to adjust. “You even look scared.”

“Maybe a little,” murmured the angel, eyes fixed on the baby.

Dean grabbed the small cloth towel, wet it, and began soaping Jack. “Gentle movements. No scrubbing, it can cause rashes and you don’t want that.”

Jack laughed as Dean brushed his little belly, kicking water everywhere. Drops landed on Cas’s shirt, but he didn’t move, as if each splash were part of the lesson.

“Now you.” Dean handed him the towel.

Cas took the cloth with a strange reverence and, following what he had seen, slowly cleaned the baby’s little hands, then the feet. When Jack laughed loudly, Cas froze.

Dean smiled sideways. “Relax, Cas.”

The angel took a few seconds to absorb it, then continued, each movement more careful than the last.

When they were done, Dean wrapped Jack in a soft towel, drying him quickly to avoid the cold. “This is the most important lesson: never, never leave him unsupervised. Not for a second. Bath time is the most dangerous time in a baby’s life.”

Cas nodded, understanding the gravity just from the guilty look Dean carried.

Jack, however, just fussed and tried to reach his wet little hand to Cas’s face, and Cas bent instinctively, letting the baby touch his cheek.

Dean watched the scene silently for a few moments, and when he spoke, his voice was quieter:

“You’re getting the hang of it.”

Cas lifted his eyes, serious, but with something soft in them. “Only because you’re teaching me.”

Dean looked away quickly, mumbling a shy “hm” as he carried Jack to lie down on the bed.

Dean arranged Jack on the towel, but instead of dressing him immediately, he grabbed a second smaller, softer towel. He looked at Cas seriously.

“The wings are the trickiest part.” He spoke softly, wanting Cas to absorb every word. “No rubbing. Don’t pull the feathers. You have to dry them like… like a little bird.”

Cas blinked slowly. “A… bird?”

Dean nodded. “You just touch, press gently, and let the towel soak up the water. Don’t rub, it hurts.” Sigh. “I learned this the hard way, you know, all the knowledge I have about babies came from trial and error. Sammy was my mentor in this. When I woke up and realized I’d have to take care of Jack, I thought I was ready for everything. But then these wings appeared, and I had to relearn some valuable baby care skills.”

Jack spread his little wings, still dripping, shivering slightly from the cold. Dean approached and, with incredibly gentle movements, pressed the towel over one wing. He didn’t drag it, just pressed and lifted. The towel absorbed the water, leaving the feathers damp but not soaked.

“I know I’m giving you a lot of information, but it’s important, okay? I need to know he’ll be fine without me, and I know nothing bad will happen to him, because even without memory, you’re still the same Cas.” Dean smiled, and something warmed in Cas at the hunter’s trust in him. “See? Press, release. Press, release. No rush.”

Cas watched as if every gesture were vital. When Dean handed him the towel, the angel took a deep breath before starting.

He brought the towel to the other wing, hesitant, and placed it over the tiny feathers. Pressed… held his breath… and released.

Jack flapped his wings, making a small sound of contentment.

Dean smiled. “That’s it. Keep going, you’re doing great.”

Cas repeated the motion, each time more confident in his gentleness. He dried patiently, covering every part of the wings until the sheen of water disappeared.

“Now, after removing the excess, we need to arrange the feathers. It’s like combing a child’s hair. They align themselves, but if you leave them wet, they stick and it hurts later.”

Dean ran his open fingers lightly through the right wing, separating the ones that were stuck together. Jack let out a tiny giggle and kicked in the air.

Cas hesitated for a second before imitating the motion on the other wing. His fingers brushed the feathers, slowly ordering them, and the baby relaxed, closing his eyes.

“Seems familiar…” Cas murmured, almost unconsciously.

Dean glanced at him, mouth curling into a half-smile. “Yeah, probably you and your siblings took care of each other’s wings once. Who knows, I certainly had to take care of Sammy’s hair.”

The silence that followed was filled with something different. Just the muffled sound of Benny’s laughter, a few distant curses from Bobby, the gentle rustle of wings, and Jack’s calm breathing.

Dean cleared his throat, breaking the moment. “Okay. Mission accomplished. Now let’s dress this kid before he decides to pee on you.”

Cas lifted the baby wrapped in the towel like a trophy, but his eyes stayed on the now-clean, aligned wings, even more radiant. He said nothing, but inside him bloomed something strange — a mix of pride and tenderness he knew he had felt before.

Maybe being a mother was very difficult for him, maybe he wasn’t as good as Dean at taking care of Jack, but Cas would rather die than give up without trying, because that boy was important, Dean was important, and they deserved Cas’s best effort.

For a moment, while dressing Jack carefully under Dean’s watchful eyes, Cas was able to truly relax and smile.