Chapter Text
Seeing Eddie in that state did scare her a bit. She had expected to get emotionnal over their reunion sure, but… Eddie cried. He was so relieved, as was she. They’d never been that close, but they did share a sort of quiet understanding : they were family. Athena loved Eddie of course, as she loved every member of the 118 that Bobby brought into her life. And now she could say for sure thta Eddie saw her as family too. It was always good to know, to have proof, especially from someone as reserved as Eddie was.
She still feared that those tears of relief revealed the terrifying nature of what had actually happened to both of them.
She’d be able to see it on Buck’s face. Maybe not the full extent of the damage, of the trauma, thta was inflicted on them but anyway, she’d see it. Because she had come to know Buck. She had to, for Bobby’s sake, to understand and love her husband even more she had learned to love Buck.
And oh how she loved that boy.
Before she took the first direct flight from LAX to Portland, she had had to convince her husband not to drop everything and come with her.
« Honey, you won’t even be allowed to see them. I promise I’ll get them home- »
« I need to go Athena. I have to see them.» His voice was stern, but she knew it held no anger towards her, more like towards the world and everything that stood between him and the ones he’d been worried about for the past four days. So she kept on talking in a calm voice.
« Bobby, I know, I know. » She brought her hands to his shoulders and began rubbing them, grounding him. « But, they already didn’t want me there. It’s only so I can identify them they said. Maybe I won’t even get to talk to them. But, I’ll be able to see if they’re okay. And I promise you, whatever it takes, I’ll get them home, eventually. »
Bobby took a deep breath. She could see that he was trying his best not to snap at her. So she just smiled.
« I want to see them both home two. We’ve all been so worried and now we finally know that... » She hesitated, not knowing if her choice of words would anger her husband or make him realise the reality of the situation they were in. «… that they’re alive, and they were found together so that means… They probably weren’t alone in this, whatever this is. That’s the only information we got, and I want you to focus on that for now, ‘kay ? »
« I know… I’ll get to it, I just… God, Athena I don’t know what to thing, we are so much in the dark about this, why can’t we know anything ? »
« That’s what I intend to find out. » Her resolve was clear.
« I know you will, and I’m so glad that you’re going to be there for them, because I know that when they’ll see your face, any hurt they feel will fade away, just for a bit, but enough. » He was now smiling at her, forcing himself to hold it together.
« I’ll text you every step, everything I learn you will too. But, » she looked at him guiltily « I’m gonna need you to keep hiding everything to the others okay ? We need to learn everything before alarming the others. I don’t want this to become messier than it already is... »
Bobby agreed, reluctantly, and then they held each other tightly, one last time before she took of for the airport.
Athena and Bobby had both made a promise, a vow. Never to hide anything from each other ever again. So, even if it was an official matter, even a federal one, there was no way Athena Grant-Nash was breaking that promise.
As she was nearing Buck’s hospital room, she saw the two agents, Perez and Gibson, waiting to intercept her as they were sitting on a bench next to the door. Gibson got up first, he was the one who told her that Eddie was being « suspicious » and « uncooperative » and that he may have had something to do with all of this which was absurd, but it was up to Athena to prove him that.
« So, can you testify of his identity ? »
« That is firefighter Edmundo Diaz, yes. »
« How sure are you of that ? » Gibson insisted as Perez approached them.
« Son, Eddie is like family to me and my husband. » She was beginning to lose her temper with this guy. « Honestly, we’ve always seen him as a sort of son-in-law, » Gibson’s eyebrows shot up at that, « so yes, the man in that room is who he says he is and I would greatly appreciate it if you could stop doubting that and tell me what he could’ve done to make you think otherwise ? »
Gibson tensed and when he opened his mouth Athena braced herself for the flow of anger that was sure to come, but instead, Perez stood between them.
« Sergeant Grant. We still can’t tell you anything. We have to end our interrogations to share any kind of information with you. Not that we should. » She eyed her partner, expecting a comment that he was visibly holding back. « But, I can sense how much you care about these men and I get how frustrating it is not to know what’s going on. I’m sure they’ll share their testimony with you anyway after they get out of here. »
Athena scoffed.
« Well, I know them. They’ll actually try anything not to tell me what put them in that situation. »
« Maybe they’ll surprise you. » That was Gibson, and Athena was really confused. It must have shown on her face because Perez continued.
« This case is… extremely sensitive to the Federal Bureau. That is why we are taking every precaution needed and why we don’t want to share details too soon… to people we don’t know, to people we don’t trust yet. »
« I see… » Athena looked between the two of them, they looked as if just that little piece of information was already a mistake for them. « This is an internal problem isn’t it ? Rogue agent ? Or agents ? »
Before she could theorize too much. Perez took the decision to reveal something of value. Something Athena immediately knew she had to keep to herself.
« Actually, this investigation led to the death of several FBI agents… As well as police officers. »
« And one of the confirmed culprit was a Detective Lieutenant. »
Athena kept silent at that. She understood how sensitive it made their investigation. Even though she felt there was still much more to it than they let on, she couldn’t push her luck. She only had one question.
« Were any of the previous victims, or culprits firefighters ? »
Perez sighed and hesitated, but she did answer.
« Some victims were, yes, but it isn’t really a pattern. As for the culprits… Not that we know of, no. But then again, there isn’t an assured pattern for that either. »
It seems to be a long running investigation, at least several years, and they still don’t have a pattern ? What is the nature of the crime commited ? Are the victims dead or alive ? What truly happened to Buck and Eddie ?
Athena knew she couldn’t press for more information. Her wits and charm already got her more than the agents initially expected, and now she could see that they both held back.
« Now, Sergeant, it’s time for you to identify our other suspect » Gibson said while straigthening his stance.
Even though she glared at him at the word « suspect » being thrown at her Buck, her loving, kind, golden retriever-esque, joy to be around Buck. But, she knew better now than to angry them. They were all supposed to be on the same side : understand what had happened, and who is, or who are, the true culprits.
She had to take a few deep breaths before entering the room. She’d been told when she first got here that he was still asleep, but apparently he wasn’t hurt. But she hadn’t really expected Eddie to be hurt either and he was, she’d seen the bandages. Even if she tried her best not to think about them, they looked familiar, she’d seen them on people who… People who… Well that can’t be it. That’s obviously not what happened, and once we’re out of here Eddie will tell me that somebody did this to him, somebody hurt him. And Athena had every intention of finding out everything thta had happened and lead her own investigation, FBI matter or not.
She pushed the door open.
A bright sunny familiar smile greeted her. If she hadn’t expected to cry when she saw Eddie, she’d expected it for Buck. But, he looked so happy to see her. And as far as she could tell from here, he wasn’t hurt, he was fine. So, she smiled just as brightly. He held out his arms.
« ‘Thena ! I’m so happy to see you » There were some tears in his eyes when he said that, but they were not threatening to spill. It was quite disarming to relive a similar situation to what had been her reunion with Eddie, but to have it be so… joyful. She crossed the room and wrapped her arms around him as his own hands held tightly on her back.
« Oh Buck, you, you- » She had to take a breath, she didn’t even know what to say « You look fine ! You aren’t hurt are you ? » She pushed back a bit to examine him more closely, but still, he looked fine.
« No, just got some bandages on my leg, put really nothing to worry about, barely a scratch. »
That did make her frown. Because the nurses had said nothing about that. She guessed it truly was nothing to worry about. And, Buck wasn’t even connected to anything, no IV, nothing showed he was in any kind of pain. He might as well be up and walking. And as she thought that, he got up to hold her more.
« See ? I’m really fine » There was a moment where she just hummed in his ear and he swayed them a bit. Then he spoke again « I really should be out of here. If it wasn’t for the investigation, I would still be by Eddie’s bed, he’s the one who needed recovery. »
Athena took a step back, but she kept her hands on Buck’s arms, not wanting to break contact for anything.
« I have to tell you : I can’t ask you about what happened. And as much as I want to know, you should refrain from telling me for the moment, because they might prevent me from speaking to you again. We all have to wait until they finish interrogating you both. »
« I think they don’t have anything more to ask me… Do you think this’ll be over soon ? »
Athena winced before she could catch herself, and Buck noticed.
« They still have some questions for Eddie. He wasn’t being the most… forward. You know him, he was just frustrated you two got separated. And from what I gathered, the agents didn’t really give you any specifics on why they needed keep you in hold. »
Buck nodded but waited for her to continue. He seemed weirdly more at ease with the situation than she or Eddie was. Maybe he knew something they didn’t ?
« So, I saw Eddie first, now the agents shouldn’t give him too much trouble, at least not on his identity. I’m here to do the same for you. For now we don’t have much time, five to ten minutes maybe ? »
« It’s okay ‘Thena. Just seeing you and knowing that you’re here is enough, for now at least. Because… I do want to get back to LA so bad. » As he said that, something flashed in his eyes, fear. « Oh god, is everyone okay ? Maddie ? Chris and Jee ? Did anyone else get caught up in this ? »
Before he could spiral, Athena stopped his rambling.
« Buck, Buck ! Everyone is fine, I promise. We were all just so worried about you ! You, Buck you- » She did have to hold back tears now « You were gone. For almost four days we had no idea where you were ! I got the information that you were here yesterday afternoon and… And then I couldn’t actually be sure that it was you, until right now. » As she said that, her hand came to rest on his cheek, and his own hand rested on it. « But, I can’t tell you more about it now, I promise we’ll get to the bottom of this soon enough, once you are out of here. And… I’ll take you both home. »
Buck tried to smile a bit more at that, the rising panic now ready to retrieve.
« Does everyone know… that we’re okay ? »
« Yes. I had to hide them the full extent of the situation, because of the federal importance of the case... » She tried to convey how guilty she felt about that. « I had to fight Bobby not to come all the way here, but he really wanted to. The others would have done the same if they knew that you were in the hospital, in Portland of all the places. When I heard that… I thought I’d go crazy. »
Buck chuckled fondly. But then, all the joy he had initially felt was fading away, she could notice, she always tried her best to notice those things.
« What is it Buckaroo ? » She brought her other hand to his face as he shook it a bit.
« N-Nothing. Well, not nothing but… I can’t tell you about it yet. » He looked so small. From one second to the next, his whole demeanor changed completely. « Athena… We were so afraid. » His eyes were wild and he started rambling unknowingly. « We were so scared ! Eddie got hurt, really really hurt and- and I thought I’d lost him ! They made us do and say things we could never be ready for and oh god- » His own sobs cut through his monologue and now Athena’s hands were wet with the hot tears falling from Buck’s eyes. She was shushing him, but it was no use. « I thought he died ! And it was all my fault, and I couldn’t live with him dying, and especially not this way ! It should’ve been me ! I should’ve got hurt, not him ! I could live without a leg but not without him ! » At that, Athena felt her heart sink and she held onto him tighter, trying to get his attention by looking straight into his eyes but they were clouded by the tears and the memories flooding him.
« Buck, Buck, please, I know it hurts but you have to stop, keep your voice down, please baby come back to me, it’s over now, you’re safe, Eddie’s safe. »
It was no use, Buck was too far gone. Athena wasn’t actually the best at handling panic attacks. She knew about them, she had had some. But it was so distressing for her to see someone she loved suffering because of it, she forgot all about what could calm him down. She only realized later that… She was too scared herself in that moment to help him.
« They won’t let me see him, they won’t let me see him because they know, they know that this is all my fault, I did this to him ! He never would’ve gotten hurt if it wasn’t for me. H would have been fine if I wasn’t just so stupid, if I had learned from my mistakes and just, just- »
The door flew open and Gibson was the first one to get to them. Athena held Buck in her arms, protectively, even if she knew she’d have to let go now.
« Sergeant, » That was Perez, standing in the doorframe. « Please follow us before the suspect compromises his testimony even more. »
« Oh god, » Buck’s mind seemed to clear and he suddenly let go of Athena and steped back towards the bed. « I’m- I’m so sorry, I swear I didn’t mean to- »
« Buck ! » Athena almost shouted at him, hoping to get him to shut up, and it worked. He clasped his mouth shut and looked at her expectantly. « It’s fine. You just calm yourself down. Don’t say anything more. » He nodded and sat back on the bed.
Agent Gibson stood in front of the bed, between Buck and Athena, he crossed his arms and widened his stance, waiting for Athena to say something, but she couldn’t.
« We’ll get this sorted out tomorrow. » Agent Perez finally said behind her back. « For now, we can’t allow you to spend any more time together. »
As she left the room, Athena felt even more scared than she did before she saw that their boys were alive and well. Because now she knew : they were certainly alive, but they weren’t well.
How much more do they have to suffer ? She couldn’t help but think desperately.
*
« What do you think ? »
« About what ? The coffee ? Or what we heard, that we shouldn’t have ? » Gibson smirked and then looked at her, and there was a flash of worry in his eyes.
« Come on Laura, you know that’s not how we work. » He set his coffee cup on the table they both sat at in a corner of the hospital cafeteria. « What do you think about all of this ? »
They just got back from yet another conversation with who they now knew as firefighter Diaz. The visit from sergeant Grant really seemed to comfort him, he opened up a bit more, told them everything he could remember and it matched what firefighter Buckley had told them first. So there was no reason now to believe any of them were lying. But… Laura knew they were still hiding some details. Buckley’s outburst was a proof of that.
She sighed in frustration and hunched over her seat to talk to her partner in a small voice, he was still looking at her expectantly.
« I don’t think we’ll get anything more out of them. Of course, we’ll have to interrogate Buckley once again. » They both understood that it was necessary, not because what he said was overly suspicious, it clearly came from a place of trauma and was triggered by a panic attack, but still, it could have brought back something else. « We’ll have to be careful though, about the way he phrases the events from now on. He seems to blame himself a great deal and that can shape his testimony in a whole other way, it might get confusing. » Gibson nodded.
« Well, as always, » He rose from his chair, ready to throw the now empty cup in the trash. « it’s your call, I’ll follow your lead on this. » He paused, and kept staring at her. « I, for once, haven’t got a clue what we should do next, so it’s up to you, and then we’ll keep digging for other leads as we always do. But if you think we can get something more from these too, then we’ll keep on looking. »
James Gibson and Laura Perez had been partners for almost 10 years now, and even if their colleagues made fun of them for it, this had always been their dynamic. Perez was the one to take the decisions, to choose which lead to follow, to choose whose testimony to trust and whose to press for. It came from a place of mutual respect, of trust, and nowadays friendship. It hadn’t been easy at first : Laura was closed off and Gibson had to prove he was worthy of her trust, it truly had been a battle, and sometimes she still wondered how Gibson was still here after all she’d put him through.
The Jigsaw investigation, which seemed to go on forever, had become their top priority, they knew everything there was to know about it, and maybe even more.
For Gibson, as he had told her, what started as a quite frankly morbid fascination for the case had morphed into genuine interest as more traps were being laid over the years. And when they’d met, Gibson had been the first, and the only one, to volunteer as her partner in the Jigsaw related investigations. In the last four years, they’ve solely worked on those investigations.
When he got no answer from her, he tried again.
« Laura, come on, you always have something to say about the testimonies. So, » he put his hands on his hips. « what do you think about what we heard from Buckley’s breakdown ? »
She took a deep breath and finally got up from her seat, facing her partner.
« Buckley knows the basic internet facts about the Jigsaw traps and apprentices. So, he must know about the « Jigsaw logic » behind most traps : the victims are on trial for not having enjoyed their lives to their true worth. The only thing we could learn from them anymore is why were they chosen… But you know as well as I do that’s the hardest thing to get from the victims everytime, and something we can’t really press for if they’re not ready to tell it. » She paced a bit, thinking. « But… With them, and especially Buckley… I think, I think we can earn their trust. » She looked right into Gibson’s eyes as she said that, showing her resolve to him. « It will take time, and we can’t guarantee they’ll want to tell us, but… I think it’s worth a shot. I mean, they’re first responders, they want to help, they’d want for us to catch the one who did this to them simply for the fact that they could hurt others. They just… Need a bit of time, which obviously we don’t have much of, but… There’s nothing more we can do right now. »
Gibson hummed in appreciation.
« I don’t know about Diaz though... » Her partner said casually while he sported a small smile. « He did start to open up after that sergeant came to see him, but he really stuck to what what essential and gave us details when we specifically asked for them. The tape we retrieved made sure not to reveal anything too specific about why they were here. »
« Well you know how sensitive this can be. We already know from the nurses report that Buckley has a history of self harming that seems to have started a long time ago… But some is pretty recent. I think it’s fair to say that this could have been his « sin » for which he was chosen by this particular game master, it fits the pattern at least. » She sighed. « I have no idea for Diaz though. And they’re both firefighters, and from what we’ve read and heard, they’re greatly appreciated in their jobs and by their community. »
She paused and a frown settled on her face.
« The tape said that they had to reveal their deepest secret to one another. They seem to care a great deal for eachother, and they still hid things. So, I don’t expect them to just tell us right away… Maybe if we can get them to tell sergeant Grant... »
« That means she’ll have to be very much involved in the case… We have to trust her with that kind of information first. »
« Something tells me she’ll want to know as much as they can provide her. But she also cares about them, so maybe she’ll wait, like we have to. »
They stood together in silence for a minute or two.
« We’ll just have to see where these two want to take us next then. » Gibson concluded. They were used to these kind of situations. The physical evidences were never enough to find a lead. They always ended up relying on the testimonies of the victims, when they survived, which wasn’t an ideal way to investigate, and led to nothing.
They could just hope that this time, maybe for once, they’ll get something different.