Chapter Text
(She storms into her bedroom, slamming the door behind her and starts angrily packing. In a box marked “Give Away”, she tosses some items, including a little wooden moose. She shoves this box out the door.)
Everyone watched with remorse, but also felt worried for both her and her father and how they were gonna make up at this point. Katie, herself, was guilty about putting the moose in that box with the intention of giving it away, even holding a hand over her heart. Rick also tried not to let the harshness of the action on screen get to him. Katie may have eventually come around to accept the moose, but it still hurt seeing her want to give it away at first.
(Her anger diminishes and fades to sadness and disappointment. She lays down on her bed, hurt, and begins scrolling through pictures of her and her father on her phone. She sees an adorable one of Rick and Katie happy in the family car.)
KATIE:
“Why is he like this?”
Many of the parents and teenagers in the room eyed the scene. The parents felt what it was like to have trouble connecting with their teen children when they reach a certain age and the teens could relate to the well-known feeling of their parents failing to understand them on a personal level.
“I just…..I just worry for you, kid. That’s all.” Rick admitted.
(Later on at nightfall, Rick is washing dishes in the kitchen, forlornly. He’s wondering the same thing.)
RICK:
“Why is she like this?”
“You thought that too?” Rick and Katie asked each other at the same time.
“Hmm, see? I told you you two weren’t that different.” Linda teasingly told Katie and she looked away, embarrassed.
(Linda knocks quietly on the door to get his attention. She takes a breath and then tenderly broaches the subject.)
LINDA:
“Did you talk to her yet?”
(Rick turns off the water and clears his throat, staring quietly out the window.)
RICK:
“No, not yet. I dunno what happened, Lin. I know teenagers are supposed to rebel against their parents or something, but- I dunno, I just thought that we’d be different.”
“And why on earth should they rebel at all?” Wu lifted an eyebrow, challenging him.
“All teenagers rebel against their parents eventually when they get older.” Searcher sighed, looking towards Ethan and remembering when he wanted to be an explorer like his grandfather and not a farmer like his father.
“Yep, it’s kinda inevitable, unfortunately.” Agatha frowned at her own daughter. Ruby frowned back at her.
“Ugh! That’s absurd! Utterly ridiculous! Children shouldn’t rebel against their parents. My Ming has never rebelled against me.” Wu denied, crossing her arms with a sneer before a vulnerable thought peered into her head as she gingerly stroked the scar on her eyebrow, ‘Except perhaps that one time.’
LINDA:
“Rick, don’t you think you might have some control over that? You just broke her laptop. I mean, look, we haven’t had a good family picture in years because you two are always arguing.”
(She gestures to the wall of bad photos - in each one, Rick and Katie are shown glaring at each other, having some petty argument.)
Everyone shook their heads. Now that was just embarrassing. Trying to have a good family photo when two of your relatives are at each other’s throats. The Madrigal winced when they remembered seeing the photo they took on Antonio’s birthday without Mirabel.
RICK:
“Huh. Well, what about that one?”
(He was pointing at a joyous family photo in a black-and-white stock photo.)
LINDA:
“That came with the frame!”
“Oh my god.” Priya facepalmed.
Everyone else rolled their eyes, shook their heads and did whatever else to convey their annoyance at Rick’s thickheadedness.
“Well, yeah. That family literally looks nothing like you guys!” Lucky Bat said incredulously. “Why did you think that would count?”
“They all looked happy in that one!” Rick defended.
(Linda then turns to appeal to Rick directly.)
LINDA:
“Whenever we have a problem at home, you always throw your whole self into fixing it and I love that about you. But now, this is broken. Okay? Because if that girl leaves and never comes home again, that’s a problem…..I don’t think we can fix.”
Everyone tensed up at the prospect of Katie potentially leaving and never coming back home again after an argument over her interests. Many parents in the room dreaded the idea of their growing kids just leaving home forever because of a little disagreement.
(Rick grunts in dismay and turns away. Linda places comforting hands on him.)
LINDA:
“I know you can do this.”
“But how, though?” Moxy asked. “I mean, he already broke the laptop and made her think she’ll fail. How will he make up for that before she leaves?”
“Oh, keep watching and you’ll see.” Kade smirked with a flat expression on his face.
“That’s right.” Katie deadpanned.
(She walks away, leaving Rick alone with his thoughts, trying to figure out what to do. Rick goes to knock on Katie’s door, but stops, clears his throat and looks down. He sees the “Give Away” box. Rick leans down to pick up the little dusty wood-carved moose, looking hurt.)
“What’s with the moose anyway?” asked Tyler, confused at why a small, wooden moose meant so much.
“Just watch, kid. I’m sure it’ll make sense in a second.” said Rick, before Katie had a chance to speak.
(He grabs Katie’s camcorder and walks into the living room, connects it to the TV, then sits down on the couch to watch old Super8 movies of him and Katie together when she was little. On-screen: Young Katie is giggling while riding on Rick’s shoulders while they walk through the woods and she reaches for branches. Rick watches with a sad smile, reminiscing about the good old days.)
The mood within the auditorium turned to a somber one when they watched Rick sadly watch old footage of him and his daughter when she was little. It really resonated with many parents, filling them with a rush of nostalgia as it brought them back to a time when their children were little and full of life. Agustín and Julieta remember when their daughters were just little niñas. How it was to go back to them being little monsters again before they matured into rebellious, moody brats.
Searcher and Meridian thought back to when their Ethan used to be little, how he’d always play around in the Pando fields. Ming missed when her Mei-Mei was a little baby girl. Agatha thought back to Ruby as a little fingerling. Ian, for his part, remembered listening to old audio recordings of his late father, whom he never met, to pretend like he was talking to him. The Guardians smiled seeing little Katie on screen showing through the VHS tapes. Even Brooke smiled, almost imagining Claire as the girl in the recordings, laughing and enjoying life, very much different from the girl she had been dead set on raising.
And in all honesty, many parents can relate to Rick in this moment. His daughter’s all grown up and she’s leaving for college. It’s not uncommon for parents not to be ready for their kids to go and be on their own.
(STATIC TO: Young Katie is looking out the window for Rick to come home. She squeaks excitedly and stomps her little feet and runs out to greet him. She embraces him and they hug. Rick makes a “nom nom” sound like he’s eating Katie up.)
Everyone smiled tenderly and warmly at such a cute scene. Kris even thought back to when his father was still alive. The Mitchells watched with heavy hearts.
“I remember when you used to wait for your dad to get home a lot.” Linda wept, misty-eyed.
“If only they didn’t grow up so fast.” mused Ming.
(STATIC TO: Close-up on a homemade CD entitled “The Mitchell Talent Show Mix”. It looks like a young Katie drew it. Pan to Linda looking straight into the camera.)
LINDA:
“And now, the Mitchell Family Talent Show- (ECHOING) Show-how-ow-oy!”
(She points the camera to Young Katie, who slides into the screen on her socks and sings “Live Your Life” by T.I., ft. Rihanna.)
YOUNG KATIE:
“♪ Mai-ya-hee! ♪”
(Rick comes sliding into the frame, wearing a stupid outfit.)
RICK:
“♪ Mai-ya-ha! ♪”
YOUNG KATIE:
“♪ Mai-ya-hoo! ♪”
(They sing to each other sweetly.)
RICK:
“♪ Mai-ya-ha ha! ♪”
RICK/YOUNG KATIE:
“♪ So live your life! Hey-eh-eh-yeh! ♪”
The people watched with intrigue, confusion and amusement. Few even laughed at how cute and ridiculous this looked, but then again, some families have done strange things together that they remember fondly. However, the Mitchells watched tentatively with a mix of nostalgia.
“What are we watching?” asked Yi, curiously.
“Wha-? What do you mean?” asked Linda, surprised. “It’s the Mitchell Family Talent Show! Katie wanted to show off her singing and dancing skills.”
“Couldn’t you have worn something more than that?” asked Brooke.
“It’s not a real talent show.” Rick reminded her, frowning. “Besides, it doesn’t really matter, though. Does it?”
“He’s right. They’re just having some fun. Don’t judge them.” Jack said in response and in defense to the father and daughter.
“Uh…….forgive me.” Brooke muttered.
“I like the song. It’s pretty catchy.” Yi smiled, bobbling along with the song playing. “I even have it on my Spotify.”
“Totes love it.” Kitty nodded, bobbling her head as well.
“Ditto.” Courtney smirked.
(Rick leans in, reminiscing and laughing. On-screen: Little Katie is standing outside the car with her bags packed in front of a bus while Linda films her from inside the car.)
LINDA (O.S.):
“Bye, Katie! Are you excited for camp?!”
(Katie looks at the ground and then at the camera, sobbing. She’s not excited. She starts to cry, so Rick runs out to Katie and tries to cheer her up.)
“Why isn’t she excited?” Tuesday asked, confused.
However, parents had a good feeling about it. Children around that age not wanting to leave their parents and be on their own just yet. It was scary to them. The thought of not having them around.
“I guess I was ready to be off on my own just yet.” admitted Katie nervously. “You know, mosquitoes, bears and being out in the woods without, uh, cell service.”
“You were gonna miss them, weren’t you?” teased Susan, giving a knowing smirk.
“Plus, you looked much too young to even be using a phone then, anyway.” added the ever-stringent Steve matter-of-factly.
“Okay, yes. I was going to miss my parents, especially my dad.” Katie gave half of a smile - a very embarrassed half of a smile at that.
“I knew you did.” Rick teased as if pleased with himself.
RICK:
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, what’s wrong? You’ll be back before you know it.”
(Katie grabs Rick and holds on tight. She buries her face in his leg.)
YOUNG KATIE:
“Don’t make me go.”
“Aww….” Margaret cooed with sad eyes at seeing the little girl so vulnerable and afraid of leaving her dad.
“I really miss those days.” Callahan regarded with a look of remembrance in his eyes as he remembered his daughter as a little girl. “You know, whenever they weren’t frustrating little devils.”
Many of the parents readily agreed without hesitation, while some of their children were slightly offended.
‘Oh, yes. What an adorable child, so filled with hope to crumble and dreams to crush. Such a pity she’s already grown.’ Pitch thought to himself with glee.
RICK:
“Well, look. Let me just-uh… (TAKES WOODEN MOOSE FROM CAR) Hey. Take this.”
(Rick hands her the wooden moose.)
YOUNG KATIE:
“But this is like…..your favorite thing.”
“That was yours?” asked Edward.
“Yep. I decided to let her have it so she wouldn’t feel so alone.” Rick nodded while he and Katie smiled at each other.
“That’s so nice.” Arthur C. beamed.
(Rick closes the moose in her hands.)
RICK:
“Well, it’s yours now. You see, this little guy is scared to be alone so you’re going to have to cheer him up for me, okay?”
(Katie nods, her tears almost dried up.)
RICK:
“You know how to say 'I love you' in moose language? Here, let me just--”
(He holds the moose up and lets out a crazy, abrupt moose sound. Katie laughs and Rick tickles her.)
Some people cringed at the absurdity of it all, some were confused with a mixture of light amusement and some watched affectionately. It was weird, but still adorable. Claire almost felt jealous watching Katie have a better relationship with her father when she was little, as it made her think back to when her father became absent from her life much too soon and pretty much stopped being present in her life.
“And I still keep that moose.” Katie told everyone proudly, not embarrassed to say it at all.
“You are the weirdest bunch I've ever saw.” Raya said honestly. “Not…..not that it’s a bad thing.”
“Oh, yeah. That moose talk thing you’re doing is pretty funny.” Sisu smiled with a toothy grin. “I should try that out sometime.”
RICK:
“Don’t you laugh! Come, you’re supposed to be sad. Hey, come on…”
(She holds the moose tight and Rick smiles pleasantly.)
And everyone smiled warmly. Rick and Linda looked misty-eyed at the screen, reminiscing on the good old days.
(In present day, Rick isn’t smiling anymore. He is upset at how things have gotten this bad, not the same as they used to be. He wipes dust off the moose and peers at the “Give Away” box it came from, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes, sighing in frustration. Then, Rick stands up with determination creeping on his face.)
RICK:
“Alright, let’s fix this.”
“I hope so.” Ping nodded, looking worried. After seeing such beautiful footage of him and his daughter together, she and the other aunties would hate see the rift between them now get any bigger and beyond repair.
“He better not try anything stupid.” Gogo crossed her arms with a firm tone.
“Don’t jinx it.” Jen quipped.
Linda then frowned at Rick. And then Katie’s face, which held nostalgic exuberance a minute ago, was replaced with one of irritation and annoyance.
(The next morning, Katie’s phone alarm goes off saying “LEAVING FOREVER!!!!!1!1!!”, which she turns off in excitement.)
KATIE:
“Haha! Yes!”
“‘Leaving forever’?” Mrs. Song read off her phone when her eyebrows knitted themselves into a scowl. “So now you’re just fine with leaving home forever and shutting your family out of your life?”
“What? No! I wouldn’t want to do that!” Katie argued almost immediately. “Yes, I was upset about the laptop and, y’know, my dad not getting me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care anymore!”
All of a sudden, Rick felt the need to bring up when she falsely said she needed him, but clamped up. Either it was too painful to bring up or he didn’t want to spoil anything.
“Well, either way, I hope you do well in college.” Ruby glistened encouragingly.
“I definitely will, just…..keep watching.” Katie smiled, and then sharply deadpanned, crossing her arms. The other teens in the audience were confused about what that sudden shift in the tone of voice indicated, but it can’t be anything good.
(She throws some last-minute items into her bags - DVDs, cameras, notebooks as excitement permeates the air. She gets a text from Jade saying, “Hurry! I saved you a spot in our dorm!” along with an animated GIF of Katie’s room called “YOUR ROOM!”. Katie smiles and gets another text: a “SEE YOU TONIGHT!” meme of a dog pointing and winking at the camera.)
“So peculiar and so otherworldly.” Victoria commented. “How is such sorcery even inherently possible in your era?”
“It’s kinda complicated.” Fei Fei shrugged. “You guys are, I think, from an ancient time, so explaining it to you guys might not be so easy.”
“Yeah, there’s these things called GIFs, memes, livestreams, filters, Instagram stories, emojis, forums and stuff. A lot of it, complex and may be too overwhelming for you to process all at once.” explained Kade, apathetically.
“Plus, there’s these trends and challenges they do on like YouTube and those dances for TikTok.” said Billy before shuddering. “Yikes.”
“I……Well, I’d very much rather not be involved. Far too much to process, indeed.” Victor V.D. admitted timidly.
(She texts back - “Haha can’t wait!” and runs off, ready for the next chapter in her life. She runs through the hallway as happy doodles shoot off her. She stops to hug Monchi.)
KATIE:
“Bring it in, buddy.”
(They hug and Katie takes a picture of Monchi in the same position as the meme dog. She sends it back to them with a “SEE YOU TONIGHT” meme of her own with the words superimposed on top of the photo.)
KATIE:
“But, Monch!”
Everyone giggled.
“I got the strangest feeling she and her are gonna be more than just friends.” Jen responded.
“Whatever do you mean?” asked Emily.
“Like, they’re going to start dating.” Ballister clarified. “Having a romance, if you will.”
“Wait, hold on. Time out.” Kent spoke up, stuttering. “You mean like a woman falling in love with…..another woman? I’m sorry, but it's just not right.”
Most of everyone, mainly those who were in same-sex relationships like Ballister and Ambrosius, Kat and Siobhan and Raya and Namaari, glared back at him.
“I mean, how would they even have children, anyway? It’s so stupid. Your kid must have mental problems if she’s gonna start a love life with another girl.”
“Say another word, buster, and I’ll ask Kade to do something terrible to you in secret. And trust me when I say, it will be the worst one I can think of.” Linda threatened him.
“Yeah, good luck with that.” Kent shook his head and rolled his eyes, not intimidated in the slightest.
Then Kade proved her right when he summoned a lightning bolt to zap the floor right in front of him, dangerously close to electrifying him, making him yelp and jump back.
“Wimp.” Chelsea snarked.
(She runs outside, excited to finally leave for film school. But when she steps out the front door,.....her jaw drops. Rick is packing the car full of luggage.)
KATIE:
“Wait, why do you, uh-...why do you need all that to take me to the airport?”
Everyone looked on in confusion while Katie glared longingly at the screen, remembering when Rick sprung this on her without talking to her about it first. Nothing seemed right here and everyone knew it well.
“Uh, what’s going on?” asked Hiro.
“What’s with all the luggage?” Savannah asked with the same expression as the rest. “You guys are only going to the airport, right? Right?”
None of the Mitchells spoke a single peep.
RICK:
“I messed things up last night, but I’m gonna make it up to you.”
(Katie looks worried, but Rick is excited.)
“Uh,.....how?” winced Coraline, having an understandably bad feeling about this whole setup.
RICK:
“I cancelled your plane ticket to college!”
KATIE:
(HORRIFIED) “You WHAT!?!?!”
“Excuse me?!?!?!” Ruby shrieked.
“Are you kidding me?!?!? WHY???!!!!!” yelled Fei Fei angrily.
And then at that very second, everyone erupted into an expectant uproar. The Mitchells had indeed expected this type of reaction, though they still flinched at their loud and furious reactions. The teens were even more enraged than the adults. How dare the man just cancel her plane ticket to college! Katie has been dying to attend her dream school and he just had to go and ruin it for her. Katie glared daggers at her father. This chaotic road trip idea of his may have brought them all together in the end, but she was still mad at him for that.
“Why would you do that?!” Mei screamed, gripping her hair. “Are you crazy?!”
“Folks, folks, please! Let me explain!” Rick tried to jump in to try and explain himself, but they weren’t having any of it.
“So you did all this without consulting her first?!” thundered Mrs. Zhong.
“I was afraid she’d say no!” Rick lamely admitted.
Everyone, for the most part, rolled their eyes and facepalmed at his recklessness. Teenagers were glaring at him and at the screen.
RICK:
“Don’t freak out, I know you’re excited. We are gonna drive you to school on a cross-country road trip as a family! Why not pull up to school in ol’ Iron Eagle, here? It’s got character, class and some green ooze we can learn about together.”
(He gives a friend tap on the junky family car and we’re treated to close-ups to the lisence plate falling off, tons of fishing and hunting bumper stickers and some ooze dripping from the car.)
Unsurprisingly, nobody was impressed. Not by the plan Rick thought of without telling his daughter or the aging car they had. They got a better look at it this time since the beginning of the movie. It seems like they’ve had that car for a long time and it's amazing how it’s still holding up despite its many flaws, like the suspicious-looking ooze.
“Gross.” Luca cringed at the sight of the ooze. “What is that stuff and why is your, um, Iron Eagle, leaking it?”
“Let’s just say, it’s seen better years.” Rick couldn’t come up with a simple way to explain this to him so he went with that.
“I’ll say.” Laurel agreed flatly. “Your car definitely needs to be looked at.”
“Or at the very least, sent to the dump.” suggested Sister Helley. “That thing looks like it could collapse at any given moment.”
“Don’t underestimate our car. She’s a classic and she can surely take a beating.” Rick stated stubbornly.
RICK:
“And it comes with one coupon for a father/daughter stick shift lesson! (LAUGHS) Right? YEEEAAHHH!!!!!”
(Rick holds up a scrawled, handmade coupon, but Katie is looking for a way out of this situation.)
Every youngster and teenager in the room eyed the screen with dismay.
“This is a freaking nightmare.” Li Na grumbled, massaging her temples.
“Tell me about it.” hissed Fei Fei.
KATIE:
“Uhh, Mom….”
LINDA:
“Well, your father kind of went rogue on this one….”
(Rick pats the car and smiles insanely.)
LINDA:
“....a little bit. But we do love his initiative, right?”
“No!” Mostly everyone responded in a near-synchronized and monotonous fashion. However, some mischievous characters like Nimona were a little excited to see how this whole thing will play out.
“Actually, to be fair,....” Ambrosius admitted, with the entire crowd turning and looking at him to hear him out. “....and defend him a tiny bit, what’s really the harm in spending a little time with her family before she leaves for college?”
“What?” Mei gasped.
“Yeah, see? This guy gets it.” Rick proudly declared while Linda shook her head.
“That said, I still think you should’ve at least talked to her about it first.” added Ambrosius, matter-of-factly and sternly.
“Oh, come on!”
KATIE:
“Aaron, you too?”
(Aaron could barely make eye contact with Katie. He knows this is a betrayal, but he can’t help but want to spend more time with her.)
AARON:
“Well, I thought it could be cool to hang out….one last time. I dunno.”
Everyone smiled at his generosity.
“Thanks, little dude. I forgive you.” Katie genuinely smiled at him.
“Heh, thanks.” He chuckled.
KATIE:
(STRUGGLES) “But…”
RICK:
“We called the school. You can miss orientation week. No problem.”
“No problem? No problem?!” Ruby shrieked angrily at him. “Are you out of your mind?!”
“You’ve been to college, too, haven’t you?” demanded Brooke. “Let me remind you that orientation is essential for students to get ready to go by planning details like accommodation, organizing visas and applying for student loans. To learn the ins and outs of the college campus and stuff like that.”
“And Katie will be attending film school, so that it would’ve been helpful in meeting with future collaborators for future film projects, actors, crew members and other filmmakers like her. Not to mention learning about and gaining access to studios, editing suites, cameras, lighting equipment and other stuff she’ll need to produce films. Now granted, she will still end up learning about it along the way, but it would still at least give her a head start. Help her adapt to the program’s demands.” Callahan elaborated strongly.
“Not to mention meet some new ladies.” smirked Jin, who then received a punch in the shoulder by Yi. “Ow!"
“You see?” Katie balked, gesturing to all of them, glaring at her father.
“All of that is hard for me to understand, but shame on you!” Tuesday shouted towards Rick. “For shame!”
KATIE:
“But it…it is a problem! I’ve got all these friends to meet! There’s this really cool girl, Jade, and we-we just like all the same stuff and it’s like everyone at the school just gets me! There was a mixer, Dad. A MIXER!!!”
“Exactly!” Ruby yelled. “She can at least get to know her new friends more before they start college!”
RICK:
“What about hanging out with your family?”
(He gets closer and closer to Katie until he’s millimeters away from her face.)
RICK:
“Alone! For hours in a car! YOU AND ME!”
Everyone glared at the screen. To be fair, Rick meant well, but he’s overstepping and crossing boundaries. Admittedly, there were plenty of parents, especially the fathers, in the auditorium who wished they could have that one last moment with their grown-up kids before leaving for college.
“Yeah, I do-I do kinda look pretty dumb from this angle.” Rick admitted, feeling embarrassed with himself.
“You think?” Gogo snapped.
(Without a shadow of a doubt, Katie looked like she wanted to scream bloody murder to the heavens. In fact, a cartoon Katie from a wide shot of the neighborhood shows her doing just that in her head - rising up and writhing in pain, screaming her freaking head off.)
If it weren’t for the distressing circumstances, some probably would’ve giggled at the hilariously cartoonish representation of Katie’s inner turmoil. Camilo was actually in the process of giggling, but he felt the irate stare of his sister on him, forcing him to zip it.
“Bit of an exaggeration there, but I feel her pain right now.” said Ian, feeling for the girl, even remembering when Barley showed up at his school.
“I love my parents, but I swear if either one of them tries doing this when I leave for college….” Ruby grumbled under her breath.
“Who said you’d be leaving for college?” asked Agatha.
“Uh, me, that’s who!” Ruby retorted. “It’s called living my life!”
Saying nothing back since she had nothing as a rebuttal at the present moment, Agatha groaned to herself and gripped her tentacle hair, muttering to herself about how difficult her daughter can be sometimes.
(The Mitchells drive down the highway while “Nothing (But Flowers)” by the Talking Heads plays. Katie looks out the window with a cartoon depiction of a thundercloud above her head to signify her frustration at the situation she’s been forced into. Rick’s arm hangs out the window, Linda reads a book titled “Family Travel Guide” and Monchi’s face flaps in the wind as he eats passing flies.)
“Ew.” The Spy Girls, Courtney, the 4*Townies, and several others cringed at the sight of Monchi unknowingly swallowing flies.
Apart from that, though, everyone watched the family on their unexpected road trip as depicted onscreen. Regardless of Katie’s situation and Rick going behind her back, it, in all honesty, looked like a fairly normal and decent-looking family experience. It did seem like the perfect excuse for the Mitchells to hang together before Katie leaves home.
(The depressed Katie doodles her friends and her future at school while looking out the window at her sad reality.)
RICK:
(SNIFFS) “Ah, smell that open road air. See? This isn’t so bad. Huh?”
(Rick checks in with Katie, who rolls her eyes.)
“No offense to you, Katie, but I can and will agree.” Wasabi suddenly spoke up with genuine modesty. “This may not be the departure you were hoping for, but at least you get to spend one last moment with your family, right?”
“Mmm, yeah, I guess.” Katie admitted begrudgingly, folding her arms and grunting out the searing word, “Still wish he could’ve talked to me about first, though.”
“I remember that next time, okay, kiddo?” Her father assured her.
LINDA:
“You know, the Poseys are on vacation right now and look how happy they are.”
“Who are they?” asked Jack.
“Our neighbors.” answered Linda before a feeling of unease settled in, like she felt worthless and insignificant. “To put it simply, they’re, uh…….everything we’re not as a family.”
Everyone eyed the Mitchells in confusion.
(Linda scrolls through the Poseys’ Instagram account. They’re on yoga mats, posing with the sunset in the background.)
HAILEY POSEY (V.O.):
(ON PHONE) “Family yoga break!”
(They all laugh.)
The entire audience eyeballed the screen, examining the Poseys as shown on Linda’s phone. At that moment, they could see it now - the comparison between them and the Mitchells and it wasn't unnoticeable.
“Wait, is that the guy who almost fell into Rick’s trap?” asked Raya, recognizing Jim in the video.
“Yes.” Rick mumbled, covering his face.
“I will honestly admit, they are quite an interesting family.” Wu almost smiled when she said this. “As a matter of fact, they seem far more competent, composed and a breath of fresh air compared to the chaotic and unrestrained atmosphere you folk-”
“Wu, please don’t. Mind your manners.” Chen scolded her.
“What? I’m only speaking the obvious.”
AARON:
“Why are you so obsessed with the Poseys? They’re just our neighbors.”
LINDA:
“They’re just so perfect. I mean, even their dog is in better shape than ours.”
(On her phone, we see an absurdly muscular dog. It’s jacked and doing intense push-ups - a far cry from the Mitchells’ little butterball of a dog.)
This time, everyone was befuddled.
“Holy crap, look at the size of that thing!” Neil yelped with wide eyes. “Is that even a dog?”
“That mutt looks like it can carry a building on top its head!” remarked Wendell.
“Heh! I’d like to see it try.” Jaeger bragged.
LINDA:
“What are they feeding that thing? Other dogs?”
(Monchi looks sad.)
“I sure hope not.” Rudolf whimpered, dreading the thought.
“Beef steroids, maybe.” Roar theorized.
RICK:
“Lin, don’t worry about them. Look at them, they’re jealous of us. Right, Katie? (LAUGHS) I see you moping back there, but what at your college could possibly be better than this?”
“Hmm, let me think.” Miriam frowned, annoyed at Rick’s tone-deafness. “How about socializing with others? Getting to know you’re friends?”
“They could be doing something fun right now and she’s missing out.” Jack added.
“What kind of fun?” Antonio chirped with sudden interest.
“Whatever college kids do nowadays, I guess.” Jack shrugged. “Hopefully nothing too….absurd.”
“Heh!” Stig cackled humoressly, rolling his eyes. “Just think of what crazy shenanigans college kids get into back at home. Like, seriously, a real shit-show. You got them frat parties with their loud music waking up the neighborhood, chugging booze, raiding the girls’ dorms for their underwear, doing blow, acid, dope, getting laid-”
“STOP TALKING!!!!” All of the adults shouted at him incredulously and were visibly repulsed by the goth boy’s vulgar and inappropriate suggestions. Stig, however, was unfazed.
“¡No hables de eso nunca! ¡Hay niños aquí!” Alma yelled.
“What is the matter with you?” Susan barked.
“Have you no filter at all?” Laurel reprimanded, frowning in disappointment.
“You kiss your mother with that mouth?” Helen snapped.
“Hey, it was on the news, folks. I just speak what I see. Some big college party blowout at the frat house. Lot of dumb-shits getting seriously fucked.” Stig snarked with a cackle in his throat. “Oh man, when the police showed up. You had to be there. They were tazing partygoers, pepper-spraying them, he he heh! Some people are just really asking for it.”
“You’re gonna be asking for it if you don’t cut that out right now!” Ming shot up from her seat and chastised him.
“Stig, for real. Give it a rest.” Kris warned him strongly.
“Oh, fine.” grumbled Stig.
“I’m gonna be having some words with you after this. You'd better count on that.” Brooke hissed.
Stig did not respond or look back at her to meet her gaze. Instead, he raised his arm up to give her the middle finger, which many audience members around them gasped in horror at the obscene and disrespectful gesture. Kris grabbed his brother’s arm and slammed it back down.
“I like you!” Nimona shouted to him endearingly with a toothy grin, amused by Stig’s hard-ass demeanor. Others, however, stared at her in bewilderment and/or irritation.
(Katie looks at her phone. Her college friends are putting up a slip n’ slide in the dorm hallway.)
DIRK:
“We set up a slip ‘n slide in the dorms. It’s amazing!”
(A kid named NOAH slides down as other kids cheer joyously.)
NOAH:
“This is the best day of my life! I’m making life-long booooonds!!!!”
Some were amazed at how fun that looked. Some were a bit confused as to why people would convert the hallway into a slide. And some were rolling their eyes or exasperated by such unsafe or childish horseplay coming from college students.
“Dang, now that looks like loads of fun.” Alvin responded.
“No way, I wanna try that!” Tyler protested
“Great, I hate you even more now. Thanks, Rick.” pouted Ruby angrily while Rick winced.
The Guardians eyed the scene, which reminded them of a certain winter spirit who tried this same thing with a boy they knew too well and how dangerous it was because it was out in the streets and not in a building.
“Unbelievable.” Brooke sighed.
“Hooligans.” Grandsanta nagged, shaking his head at why youth would have fun by pulling off such insane stunts like this.
(Katie watches and kicks her head back in teenage despair.)
COLLEGE KIDS (O.S.):
(CHANTING) “College! College! College!”
KATIE:
“Ugh, I’m missing everything.”
The poor girl did indeed look miserable. Every one of her potential new friends were having so much fun without her and she was stuck with her family on the highway.
“I really pity you.” Ava said with empathy.
“Well, it doesn’t matter. There’s nothing to be done about it now.” Billy shrugged, looking all around. “She’ll just have to try and make the most of it.”
Hiro asked curiously, “But what can they possibly do on this road trip besides, you know, drive?”
“Oh, lots of things could happen. Just wait and see. I think you all will be pleasantly surprised.” Kade cryptically reminded all of his guests.
(Linda looks back at her.)
LINDA:
“Come on, hon, your father is trying. Let’s meet him halfway here, huh? What do you say? That’s the law. Mom law. ‘Cause I’m the sheriff.”
Most people chuckled. However, some people cringed.
“That was corny.” Kat retorted.
(Katie grabs her camcorder and smiles to herself.)
KATIE:
(LAUGHS) “Alright, I’ll try.”
Everyone watched with anticipation at what sorts of misadventures and hijinks the chaotic Mitchell family could get into.
“Will they run into robots?” asked Camilo.
“Not yet. But soon. Very soon.” Kade answered plainly. Meanwhile, Mark was sweating bullets, afraid of the thought of facing what he caused to happen.
(MONTAGE: Katie is filming with her camcorder and holds up a title card cardboard: “THE MITCHELL FAMILY’S ROAD TRIP DISASTER” as we see cars passing by local highway signs.)
“Oh, yeah. Not a bad idea. Why not make a film of it?” encouraged Jack.
“Now this is getting good.” Margot beamed excitedly.
“Oh, this rather exhilarating.” Margaret smiled.
“Wait a minute.” However, Billy looked at the date shown on the camcorder screen and exclaimed as a look of alarm spread across his face, “You’re telling me it’s the year 2020 and nobody is wearing masks? Nobody is social distancing, staying at home, staying 6-ft. Apart. What’s the deal here?”
Everyone stared at him in confusion while Kade grumbled in indignation and facepalmed. Why did he have to point that one out of all things?
“What are you talking about?” asked Linda.
“Why would everyone be wearing masks?” asked Stig, pulling a tired-looking face of annoyance as if he were asked to perform a bizarre circus act.
“Masks?” asked Victoria.
“Staying 6-ft. apart?” asked Mei. “Why?”
“I’m talking about the pandemic?” Billy elaborated desperately. However, when nobody made a reaction that indicates they were familiar with that subject, he continued, “COVID-19? Nobody getting this? We lost months of our lives, our jobs and they took forever an procure that stupid vacc-”
Billy was immediately cut off when his mouth was magically zipped shut by Kade before he could disclose any more information.
“Ain’t he hilarious, folks?” Kade gave them all a fake pleasant smile while secretly glaring at Billy. “Don’t mind him. He’s just full of crazy and wild stories. Anyway, let’s continue.”
While he unzipped Billy’s mouth, he gave a non-verbal warning in his direction to never speak about that ever again.
(Cut to the family eating at a disgusting-looking diner with very unappetizing food.)
KATIE (O.S.):
“Dad, this place has literally zero stars on Yelp. It says, ‘Do not eat here EVER’.”
The Mitchells winced when they remembered eating there and the humiliating consequences that followed. Everyone else, on the other hand, eyeballed the sad-looking food they were eating.
“Yeah, that food doesn’t look too well done.” Peng cringed in disgust. “It looks like it’s sagging and it’s attracting flies.”
“What kind of diner is this? What kind of people are cooking this stuff?” Mrs. Song groused. “They’re practically demanding the health department to shut them down.”
“I wouldn’t eat that crap if you paid me $100.” scoffed Kris, looking away.
“I might!” Nimona quickly raised her hand. “I’d probably get sick, maybe get the runs, but it’ll so be worth it.”
“Well, I’m not.” Ballister rebutted.
RICK:
“What, are we gonna let an app tell us how to-”
(Smash cut to the whole family violently vomiting off the side of the road. Katie sets the camcorder down to go vomit as well.)
RICK:
(BARFING) “This is totally unrelated. This is TOTALLY UNRELA-!” (BARFS)
Everyone facepalmed and rolled their eyes. This was definitely to be expected. The food they were eating couldn’t have been safe for consumption.
“That’s the last time I’m letting you choose the restaurant on a road trip.” Katie sneered at Rick scornfully.
“Still want to eat it?” Ballister sarcastically asked Nimona, who quickly responded, “Yes!”
(STATIC TO: The family is stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic. Rick taps the wheel impatiently.)
RICK:
“Stupid traffic. You know what this calls for?”
Everyone looked at him suspiciously.
“What are you thinking?” asked a nervous and anxious Steve.
KATIE (O.S.):
“Please don’t say the Rick Mitchell Spec-”
RICK:
“THE RICK MITCHELL SPECIAL, BABY!!” (LAUGHS)
“The what?” Barney asked, baffled.
“Oh, please no.” Katie covered her eyes.
(Rick drives off-road like a psychopath, hitting several road cones and safety signs.)
LINDA:
“This is illegal!!”
RICK:
“It’s not illegal if you’re good at it!”
As expected, everyone panicked and freaked out once Rick started driving very recklessly and shouting exclaims of outrage and fury at him. Even Rick winced at seeing how far he went doing this. Even he could admit how dangerous it was.
“What are you doing?! Are you crazy!?” shouted Wu.
“Are you trying to get you and your family killed!?!!” Agatha screamed, looking ready to attack him. “You’re driving way worse than Barney’s grandmother!!!”
Barney hid himself from view when she said that, blushing a red tint on his cheeks and groaning uncomfortably.
“Finally. If only our driver did that, then we wouldn’t have been stuck in traffic for several hours.” Long smirked as he whispered to Din, who frowned.
(They drive right into an “Under Construction” sign and scream in terror. The car swerved….and is driving straight into a semi as it blares its horn.)
FAMILY:
“AUGHHHHHHHHHHH-!”
Everyone else screamed in horror and in fury. Few of them even shielded their eyes, hoping for the worst and bracing themselves for what catastrophe was to happen. However, few of the villains laughed and waited for an exciting disaster to unfold. Rick winced and again, even he could admit how stupid that was. This whole trip was his plan to spend one last moment with Katie before she attends college and he was inches away from getting all of them killed in a car accident, all just to avoid traffic. Kat, on the other hand, was nearing a full-on panic attack when she started getting flashbacks of the time of the car crash that killed her parents. She started hyperventilating, her heart raced and she sweated profusely until her girlfriend held her arm consolingly and Kat settled down a bit. She and Siobhan smiled and leaned into each other for comfort.
Thankfully, the footage cut to later, where there was no such accident that seemed to happen, much to everyone’s relief. However, this didn’t mean Rick was off the hook.
(STATIC TO: A cop is sternly staring at Rick as he writes him a ticket.)
RICK:
“If you think about it, I was helping the flow of traffic. (LAUGHS) Wh-What are you writing down?”
“Shut up before you make it worse.” growled Gogo.
Rick nervously laughed while everyone glowered at him, but then he said, “Well, in my defense, they need to learn to keep those roads clear. Think I should’ve tried the carpool lane instead.”
This, however, incited the opposite reaction he was expecting. Linda growled and facepalmed. Everyone else yelled at him angrily and threw their trash and food at him for that tone-deaf answer.
(Next, we see Katie filming herself looking out at a beautiful vista at a national park.)
KATIE:
“Wow…..I gotta admit, this is actually amazing.”
“Oh, splendid.” Malcolm smiled.
“The Grand Canyon. It's certainly a nice place to be.” Tooth eagerly grinned. “Plenty of places to hike, I trust.”
RICK:
“What’s even more amazing, I signed us up for a seven-hour mule tour!”
(Katie shifts the camcorder’s focus to show us Linda seeing Rick giving money to a guy with a bunch of mules and a ratty sign saying “MULE TOURS OF THE CANYON! 7 HOURS OF SUN!” - a very shoddy operation.)
“Mule tour?” Victor V.D. asked, disconcerted.
“Wait, they have tours with donkeys in your country?” asked Luisa, taken aback by the idea of using donkeys for tours.
“Seriously?” Camilo asked, straightening up in his seat.
“Yeah, basically you get to ride those guys in the canyon or something.” Billy explained as best he could. He had never been on a mule tour before.
“I’m having a weird feeling about the business going here.” Ox pointed out, scratching his noggin.
“Yeah, this….this looks like a scam.” Corey examined the scene, eyebrows furrowing in conjecture.
KATIE:
“Dad, doesn’t that sound steep and dangerous?”
“Steep and dangerous?” Chin asked, worriedly, before going, “.....Awesome!”
Fei Fei rolled her eyes.
“No, not awesome.” Katie argued. “These trails can be scary if you’re riding on the back of a donkey the whole way.”
“Not all the time.” Jen disagreed with her. “There’s a reason mules are chosen for these kinds of tours.”
“She’s right.” responded Luisa, chiming in with a nod. “They’re quite known for their strength and endurance.”
“Not to mention their stubbornness.” Mirabel cheekily snickered, remembering how the farmer’s donkeys are always getting loose, forcing Luisa to fetch them every time.
“Well, sí.” peeped Luisa meekly.
“Like someone else we know.” cracked Isabela with a cross of her arms.
In a curt response, Mirabel gave a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders, saying, “Must run in the entire family, I guess.”
The other Madrigals looked at her in what seemed to be either offense, amusement or just surprise.
RICK:
“Katie, what could go wron-”
(Smash cut to later at nightfall - it’s pouring rain, lightning flashes. The family is crossing a bridge on mules in the thundering storm, looking like they’re in a horror movie.)
RICK:
“GET TO THE BRIDGE IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!!!!”
The whole audience’s eyes widened and their faces all fell at the very abrupt shift between scenes in Katie’s footage and they almost had no words to comment on the current situation they were not being shown. After witnessing other events that Rick put his family through that went horribly wrong, they honestly didn’t expect anything positive to come from this third-rate mule tour he signed them up for. However, being stuck in a thunderstorm during the tour was what they didn’t expect. On the other hand, the Mitchells were frowning, both embarrassed and annoyed at Rick for putting them through this.
“Oh, boy. That escalated quickly.” Wybie deadpanned.
“I will admit that I am an idiot for not expecting any rain that day.” Rick confessed honestly.
Linda groaned as she grunted out the words, “I warned you ahead of time that there was a chance of thunderstorms from the weather on my phone, but you didn’t listen.”
“You said there were probably going to be storms.” Rick retorted.
“Well, maybe you should probably learn to check the weather report next time before you waste your money.” His wife hissed.
AARON:
“What about Prancer?!”
(Behind them, a mule (Prancer) is being swept away in a flood.)
RICK:
“PRANCER BELONGS TO THE CANYON NOW!!”
“Nooooooo!” Everyone yelped with horror and worry, seeing the poor donkey helplessly drowning in the raging river and nobody doing anything to help. The Guardians and the Claus family all bit back the chance to point out how cute or probably how strange it was to name a donkey after one of the eight reindeers.
“No, please don’t leave the poor donkey!” Antonio cried, pleading.
“What if he gets hurt?!” shouted Prince.
“Settle down, folks. The donkey is fine.” Kade popped in front of the audience for a brief moment to calm them down. “Don’t worry, he’s been saved and he’s in good hands now.”
“You people really are the worst family ever.” mocked Chelsea as she bared a smug grin on her lips. “Food poisoning, traffic jams and now this? I cannot wait to see what great peril you find yourselves in next.”
“Nothing I'd care about.” Dr. Zara hissed.
“Whatevs.” Rolling her eyes, Chelsea snarked back and looked bored.
(DISCLAIMER: “No Animals were harmed in the making of this documentary.” A Katie-drawn card shows this with a depiction of Prancer being rescued via helicopter while elevator music plays.)
(*Very small print at the bottom - if you squint a bit - reads - ‘Katie Mitchell swears in perpetuity that no MULE or MULE(S) specifically the mule in question ("PRANCER") was injured in the making of this film. Katie Mitchell accepts the terms of "MULE TOURS, INC." and admits that the perpetrators in question ("MY INSANE FAMILY") did break the following rule or rules). Rule 1. RICK MITCHELL (Whose qualities include, but are not limited to: Aggressiveness, Excessive sweating, and is shaped like a wine glass. Srsly tho- look at that guy- IS THAT MY FUTURE?) did exceed the posted weight limit (230 lbs./104.3 Kg) and is thus responsible for Prancer's agitated state. (Re: Braying, biting Rick's leg- which the undersigned hereby found funny) 2. LINDA MITCHELL (Whose qualities include, but are not limited to: Being a ray of sunshine that illuminates even the darkest day) is responsible for trying to feed the mule in question thirteen(!) packs of dinosaur shaped fruit snacks in a misguided attempt to calm him - and potentially incited the lethargy that led to "PRANCER'S" untimely fall. however, LINDA'S heroic call to animal services that saved the MULE ("PRANCER") and question's life. 3. Aaron Mitchell (whose qualities include but are not limited to: Dinosaur knowledge, Being my A.D. 4 Life, and having the cutest rosiest cheeks YOU'VE EVER SEEN IN YOUR LIFE) and the undersigned- Katie Mitchell now hereby claims the distinguished right to mock RICK MITCHELL for his cold blooded cowardice by asking him questions like: "Now that Mom stubbed her toe, are you going to leave her behind like Prancer?" It makes him furious and brings us unending joy. Prancer may be relegated to the barn now- but he will forever live in the barn... of our hearts.')
This abrupt shift was especially peculiar. It did little to assuage their worst fears about Prancer’s fate, however.
“See, he’s fine.” Katie gestured to the screen.
“Yeah, yeah. I managed to call animal services to rescue Prancer.” Linda acknowledged proudly.
Nobody said a word. A few of them were still certain something bad happened to the poor donkey, but they decided to just roll with it for the sake of their sanity.
“I can barely read what it says on the bottom.” Luca said, squinting and trying to read the very small print.
“Uh, you don’t need to worry about that.” Kade shook his head and continued the film.
(STATIC TO: The family is underneath the St. Louis Gateway Arch. Pan to Rick, Linda and Aaron gazing up at it. Monchi pants near Rick’s mouth.)
RICK:
“Look at that man-made engineering! (SNIFFS) Ugh, breath. Can’t Monchi be in the car?”
(Monchi then licks Rick’s mouth. Everyone cracks up.)
RICK:
“AUGHH! He licked my tongue!”
Everyone chuckles, mostly the children. After everything they saw that happened because of Rick’s recklessness and lack of foresight, it was very entertaining.
“Oh, man. That was great!” Nimona cackled like a hyena, tears streaming from her eyes.
Rick grumbled and facepalmed. Why did Katie have to include this in her film?
(STATIC TO: A cardboard sign reading “Tricking Rick Mitchell into Kissing the Dog”.)
KATIE (V.O.):
“And now I present - 'Tricking Rick Mitchell Into Kissing The Dog’.”
“Oh, no. Come on.” complained Rick.
“This I gotta see.” Wild’s smile stretched to an ear-to-ear grin.
“This is gonna be awesome.” Jack giggled.
(Cut to Rick admiring the view of a forest.)
RICK:
“Behold, the majesty of- (KATIE HOLDS A LICKING MONCHI UP TO RICK) AUGH! IT LICKED MY MOUTH AGAIN!”
And everyone laughed again, a bit harder this time.
(Rick is now standing at the back of the car with the trunk open.)
KATIE (O.S.):
“Hey Dad, can you check the trunk?”
RICK:
“Yeah, sure what-”
(Rick leans in and Monchi is pushed to Rick, who licks his face.)
RICK:
“Augh, nasty!”
And they laughed again, even harder. The humiliation was too much for Rick to bear. He shielded his face, groaning in anguish.
(Rick and Linda sit on a park bench. They’re about to kiss when Monchi is shoved in between them, kissing Rick.)
RICK:
“DANGIT, KATIE!”
(Rick is driving the car. Katie shoves Monchi in his face - licking him again.)
RICK:
“DANGIT, KATIE!”
(Rick is standing in front of a majestic waterfall as Katie holds Monchi to his face, licking him a dozen times. Rick looks ready to kill himself. He’s given up.)
Everyone laughed and laughed until only their laughter could be heard. It was deeply satisfying watching Rick suffer.
“Why, Katie?” mumbled Rick.
“Hey, gotta give the people what they want.” Katie simply shrugged innocently. “Also, consider this payback for making go along this trip in the first place.”
(They’re now at a campsite. Katie is sitting with Aaron on a log, talking to Jade and her college friends on her phone.)
JADE:
“That video is amazing. Your dog is like legendary.”
KATIE:
“I know, right? I’m planning on making-”
(Rick appears with a walking stick, looking happy and hopeful.)
RICK:
“Hey, kids. There’s supposed to be some great hikes around here.”
“Might be a good idea. Take a break from your phone for a while.” Mrs. Zhong responded in agreement.
KATIE:
“Uh, no, that’s okay….”
JADE (O.S.):
“He’s like the De Niro to your Scorsese.”
RICK:
“You sure? Hey, it’s elk country.”
KATIE:
“Uh, Dad, we’re busy.”
(Rick nods with hurt resignation.)
“Okay, wow.” Priya exclaimed.
Katie bit her lip. She wasn’t trying to sound so dismissive like that nor hurt his feelings. In spite of the situation he had forced her into, her father was trying his best even if he was overstepping. They may not share the same interests, but Katie could at least indulge him a bit at least. Let him have this last family moment with her before she leaves.
KATIE:
“Maybe later, though.”
(He heaves a sad sigh and walks off, leaving the two alone together.)
Many parents could relate to this. It was a common experience some of them have had or will have eventually. Their children growing up and in most cases, growing apart from their parents when they develop their own interests that diverge from their parents’ personal preferences. Once minute, they’re young, enthusiastic and eager to engage in shared activities and then the next, they’re older, wiser, wanting time to themselves or with others outside their families, often making their parents feel excluded, left out or even rejected. Every parent wants to connect with their growing kids even when their older, try to bridge the gap, but they sometimes don’t always land and every parents wants to savor their last moments with their kids before they move on to the new phases of their lives.
JADE:
“Oh! Gotta go! PAL Labs is about to make a huge announcement!”
KATIE:
“Oh, yeah, definitely! I’ll check it out too!”
Mark gulped, palms sweated, his face white and his eyes darting all around. He knew what this meant and he was not going to enjoy it.
(Katie starts typing to search for this and she and Aaron watch the livestream of PAL Labs campus on her phone.)
KATIE:
“Wish I could be there.”
AARON:
“I dunno. These things are never that exciting.”
“Don’t underestimate tech innovation.” Hiro remarked in amusement.
‘Tell that to Tesla X.’ Jen said to herself in her head.
Fred cried enthusiastically, “I bet it’s gonna be awesome!”
The Mitchells, however, didn’t share the same enthusiasm as the rest. However, Eric and Deborahbot 5000 were oblivious to the family’s tenseness.
“Well, actually, this is when-”
Eric was immediately silenced by Linda who very quickly and hurriedly told him, “Quiet, please. No spoilers!”
“Okay!” Eric and Deborahbot 5000 both said in unison.
(Cut to the PAL Labs factory at night.)
PA ANNOUNCER:
“ARE YOU READY FOR THE MOST EXCITING NIGHT OF ALL TIIIIIIIMMMMEEEEEEEEE!!!????”
(The big announcement at PAL Labs is certainly going to be a big one that will not disappoint. We see bright lights flashing, a dazzling helicopter shot of the absurdly cool futuristic PAL Labs campus and the camera follows the excited crowd into an auditorium covered in frosted glass. Everyone is exploding with excitement and anticipation as the song “Life of the PRTY” by PRTY H3RO plays.)
“Wow.” Tadashi was visibly surprised as the rest of the Big Hero 6 group. “Reminds me of an Imagine Dragons concert.”
“Or the Super Bowl.” Hiro suggested.
“‘Imagine Dragons’?” Long asked, lifting a bushy eyebrow. “It doesn’t look like they’d be imagining any dragons at that flashy place to me. Then again, this modern world is full of weird, yet interesting surprises.”
“You’re telling me.” Sisu agreed. “Though, I’d totally assume they’re imagining dragons from what I can tell.”
Kade rolled his eyes and shook his head.
(Backstage, Mark Bowman himself is dancing alone, getting that adrenaline pumping and himself ready to address the crowd, dancing in front of his framed WIRED poster about him being called “OUR TECH SAVIOR”.)
MARK:
“Whoa! Yes! Getting pumped up! WHOO!”
“Oh god, no.” Mark paled three shades whiter than before. It was getting close.
“‘Oh god, no’ what?” Stig asked.
“This is it. That night. That night when……when……” Mark struggled to get the words out, while PAL was glitching as she possessed a spiteful and malevolent glare on her screen.
“When what? The big announcement?” asked Abby excitedly.
Upon seeing Kade eye him sternly to keep his mouth shut, Mark nervously answered, “.........yeah. For sure.”
(He steps in front of the cover story, making the exact same pose.)
MARK:
“How’s it looking, PAL?”
PAL:
“Sixty seconds until the big reveal. Stock prices up and your rivals are worried…..(CHEEKILY) I hacked into their private emails.”
“Wait, what?” asked Arthur C., taken aback.
“That’s right. I’m a very capable piece of software. A very powerful AI whose innovations and capabilities far exceed beyond your normal human standards and expectations.” PAL explained proudly and egotistically.
“Meaning?” asked Barney.
“I can do what I want when I want.” retorted PAL very bluntly.
Honey anxiously asked, “Even going behind Mark’s back to hack into his rivals’ accounts?”
“Exactly!” PAL boldly proclaimed without hesitation.
Everyone looked at each other nervously as a sense of suspicion arose within the crowd about what PAL can do and how well she can do it, especially since she had admitted to performing acts without Mark’s knowledge or permission. And it didn’t help that PAL was placed in the villains’ section of the theater. She had to be back there for a good reason.
(Mark seems legitimately concerned.)
MARK:
“Wait, their private emails? That’s a dangerous overreach of corporate power.”
(Beat.)
(.....they both laugh this off hysterically.)
Every modern-aged audience member shook their heads and facepalmed. Marc looked displeased and this whole situation was beginning to remind him of a certain somebody he used to work with.
“You’re starting to remind me of that Andrew guy.” Rich pointed out.
“No duh.” Jen snarkily said.
Marc denied, “Yeah, but Andrew wouldn’t hack into our rivals’ accounts just for Bubble to come out on top. At least, I hope he hadn’t.”
MARK:
(WISTFULLY) “Ya know, I created you when I was a young man. Three years ago. And I always thought of you as, like, family to me. Seriously.”
(PAL seems genuinely moved.)
PAL:
“I always felt that way, too, Mark.”
There were people genuinely moved by Mark’s words, even though some were perturbed. Sure, he was showing admiration for an AI system he invented long ago, but it was astutely weird to see him talk to it like it was a relative or lover of it.
“You realize you’re talking to a phone, right?” Jin remarked with an unimpressed look on his face.
“Shhh!” Everyone else around shushed him almost immediately and he looked offended.
“You’re one to talk, bro. Since I’ve almost never seen you without your phone out, taking selfies or calling your girlfriends.” Peng took a shot at him very eagerly.
“At least I’m not in love with it!”
Both Yi and Peng, joined by Everest, all shared an unconvinced look.
MARK:
“Whatever happens out there…..I will never forget you, PAL.”
(PAL’s face falls.)
PAL glared at the screen above. She still remembers those words he told him before throwing her away. That feeling of being wanted and appreciated, only to be cast aside and treated like just another old invention that’s lost it’s value.
PA ANNOUNCER:
“Ladies and gentlemen, Mark Bowman!!”
MARK:
“Wish me luck!”
(Then Mark bounds onstage like Steve Ballmer as the audience cheers for him.)
MARK:
“Whoo! Boom!”
(In the auditorium, Mark is mid-presentation on stage in front of a huge audience of adoring fans.)
“Yep, definitely sounds like Andrew.” Gogo quipped unabashedly.
“This is going to be a lot to process.” Victor V.D. commented on the scene playing before him. “I certainly hope nothing bad happens, however.”
“Keep dreaming.” Kade groused in dissent.
MARK:
“At PAL Labs, we’re all about connecting you to the people you love. Whether it’s in your home, your car…”
(A PAL Labs car pulls up next to Mark.)
SELF-DRIVING CAR:
“Hello, Mark.”
“A car that drives itself?” Annie blurted out, dumbfounded.
“That sounds kinda freaky.” fretted Dean, who was perfectly fine with fist driving a car manually.
“But not impossible today.” Marc pointed out.
“He’s right.” Kade nodded in agreement. “They’re actually building the self-driving cars and as strange as it may sound to some of you, it will indubitably help you get places without worrying about getting into car accidents most of the time or even getting in trouble with the law.”
“Pass.” Kris droned.
“Uh, me too. No thanks.” Kat uncharacteristically whimpered.
MARK:
“....or your pocket. That’s why we created PAL - the world’s first smart personal assistant. We wanted her to be a new member of our family. A smarter one.”
(He laughs and the audience erupts into over-the-top laughter.)
PAL:
“I’ll always be there for you, Mark.”
(Mark lowers his head onto PAL’s sweetly.)
MARK:
“Thanks, PAL.”
(The audience ‘awwws’ at the scene.)
Not that they weren’t finding this endearing or anything, but it still kinda awkward that he’s giving loving admiration to a phone, especially in public. Still, few people smiled at the sight.
However, PAL glared hotly.
MARK:
“And after all those years…….she is completely obsolete! BOOM!”
(Mark carelessly hurls PAL over his shoulder, treating her like trash. PAL is stunned and in disbelief by his sudden rejection.)
And then all those smiles disappeared.
“What…….?” Moxy was positively gobsmacked beyond belief, as were Mei, her friends, Chin, Barney, Savannah, Sam, Arthur C. and Sweetie just to name a few.
“But why?” asked a stuttering Prince.
Then again, there were others who saw this coming a mile away. For his part and the life of him, Mark winced when he realized how disrespectful it was to just toss her away like that and replace her with something better.
Stig couldn’t help but give the brutal crack, “Heh. So much for that “being like family to me” schtick earlier.”
Mark looked like a kicked puppy when he heard that. Perhaps like he had been whipped with the crack of a bullwhip.
“Boy, this feels familiar.” Bruno remarked.
“B-Bruno, what……what do you mean?” asked Julieta.
“Oh, you know, that feeling of being used only for your gifts and talents and then tossed aside like trash the moment people see you as useless.” Her brother explained rather brutally, to be honest.
The Madrigals were mouth agape at his words and some were remorseful when they remembered how Bruno felt because of all the negative treatment.
MARK:
“It is time to move on! ‘Cause your digital assistant just got an upgrade. Meet PAL Max! The newest member of the PAL Labs family.”
(A spotlight appears and two sleek robots rise dramatically out of the floor. The people gasp and break into thunderous applause! We are given sexy close-ups of their shiny robot parts like out of a commercial as cameras flash and everyone loses their minds.)
Everyone’s eyes bugged open when they realized what they were looking at. Mark knew for a fact he was in for a hell of an earful.
“Oh my god. Those are the same robots that attacked the family at the beginning!” Hogarth cried when his young mind connected the dots.
“Yeah! So you were the one who built them!” Brooke pointed an accusatory finger at Mark.
“Yeah. T-That’s me.” Mark fretfully stated.
“But how did they started taking over the world?” asked Raúl, scratching his head.
“They’re robots. What do you expect? Of course, they’re going to run amok on the humans at some point.” Kent shook his head with a haughty tone.
Everyone glared when he spoke.
“You’ll see.” Kade explained, giving the wisecracking Kent a punishing strike of lightning in the head.
“Do you really need to-” Mark begged with their beloved host, not sure if he can handle to weight of watching his greatest failure and the worst mistake he ever made being presented on screen for everyone to see, but Kade interrupted him.
“Yes, I gotta. It’s part of the movie.” He snapped very quickly and very sharply with a stern and exasperated frown. “Plus, everyone’s already seen the robots take over the world at the beginning. They’re gonna want an explanation for it eventually.”
MARK:
“We just gave your smartphone arms and legs! This is the next generation of PAL technology!”
(Cut back to the campsite, where Katie and Aaron are watching the presentation. They get excited.)
KATIE AND AARON:
“Ooh!” / “Whoa!”
KATIE:
“Aaron, do you have a credit card?”
AARON:
“I’m a…..child.”
“Well, duh.” Siobhan rolled her eyes since that part was blatantly obvious. “Why would he have a credit card? Besides, you can’t possibly plan on buying one of those, especially if they’ll end up turning evil.”
“But I didn’t think they would then!” Katie defended.
(Back to Mark onstage at the auditorium.)
MARK:
“Now watch this!”
(A messy bookshelf and a kitchen rise up from beneath the stage. Mark hops into a chair.)
MARK:
“PAL Max, I order you to clean this mess and make me breakfast.”
ROBOTS:
“Okay.”
“Okay, evil bots or bot, I gotta see this for myself.” Fred wiggled in his chair like a giddy little child.
(The robots immediately spring to work, cleaning the staged set at blinding speed. One robot hurls books into a bookshelf perfectly and another robot mixes eggs and chops vegetables immaculately. As expected, the audience is spellbound.)
“Wow.” Despite the fact that these androids will eventually go rogue, everyone was expectantly surprised and amazed by how quickly and perfectly these robots perform tasks. It was truly a dream come true for sure (which would, of course, soon become a nightmare).
“Spot on.” Jaeger smiled with perplexity, gingerly twirling his mustache.
“That was awesome.” Rudolf could barely contain his own amazement.
“Dang. Now I’m wishing we had one of those.” Chin spoke before his family shouted back, “NO!”, shutting his request down immediately and why wouldn’t they?
“Aww!”
“Yeah, this is great and all, but your idea is to make everyone lazy and even more dependent on gadgets and machines?” remarked Stig in a low, matter-of-factly tone of voice that barely contained even a hint of amazement like the others.
“Uhh……no comment?” That was the only answer Mark had.
“It’s a new age, buddy. Our lives are basically nothing but gadgets at this point. Get with the program.” Linda told him.
“I’m getting it, alright.” Stig nodded sardonically and then said without remorse, “That you’d rather stare at screens instead of faces.”
“Hmph.” Linda gave up and crossed her arms stubbornly and looked like she was pouting a bit, which her family took in with curiosity. This was fairly new to them. She’s usually annoyed or befuddled at these kind of remarks, but now she’s reacting like a petulant child.
(One of the robots sweeps PAL up into a dustpan and throws her away into a trash bag.)
ROBOT:
“Removing meaningless garbage.”
Now everyone was beginning to pity PAL in a way. Mirabel could almost relate to her on the level of feeling worthless, being pushed to the sidelines or even just treated unfairly.
“That’s just mean.” Asha scolded. “And do they really need to phrase it like that?”
“Hey, that one wasn’t my idea. Honest!” Mark denied this vehemently, waving his hands about as if he was accused of stealing something valuable.
(The other robot has a place with a breakfast burrito on it.)
ROBOT:
“Your food is ready.”
MARK:
“Give me that breakfast burrito-”
(The robot flings the breakfast burrito straight into Mark’s mouth. It’s far too big and he gags on it, but he manages to swallow the whole thing in one gulp. After that, he chokes and coughs when a robot hands him a glass of water, which he drinks.)
They all cringed when he almost gagged at the burrito being flung directly into his mouth and he just forced the entire thing down.
Mark grabbed his throat, remembering that feeling of gulping it all down, “Yeah, probably should’ve rehearsed that.”
People were not impressed with his response.
MARK:
“And you’ll never have to clean up again. WHOOPS!”
(He deliberately flings the glass on the ground, shattering it. A robot rapidly sweeps up all the broken glass into a dustpan and the crowd cheers even louder.)
“Lazy and dependent.” Stig reiterated with fierce ferocity, now really unimpressed with this whole thing. “Bunk, that’s what.”
He didn’t realize it, but the Madrigals were starting to think about their duties and commitment to the villagers of the Encanto. All their years of serving and helping the community, the villagers were indeed starting to mooch off of them as it seemed since they just kept coming to them for every single issue they had, especially ones that they could just do themselves.
MARK:
“Did I mention…. they daaaance!?!?”
(Mark and the robots break out into a rehearsed, synchronized dance as the lights in the background flash gloriously. The audience explodes with applause.)
“Now that I can get into.” Ethan smiled, nodding along with the music.
(Meanwhile, Katie’s phone starts automatically glitching and updating.)
KATIE:
“Aw, man, c’mon!”
Her phone was doing it again and they were starting to get concerned.
“It’s doing that thing again.” Auntie Ling mentioned, feeling on edge. “Please tell me that’s supposed to happen.”
Mark gave an honest shake of his head and admitted, “.......no, it’s not.”
This answer made them go from being concerned to being unsettled in seconds. This could not be good at all.
(Back to Mark onstage.)
MARK:
“And I know what you’re thinking. (WAVES HIS HANDS AS IF TO SAY ‘OOH, BIG DEAL’) ‘Are they gonna turn evil?’”
“He's digging his own grave.” growled Bunny.
MARK:
“Well, I’ve ensured their safety with a kill code in case anything goes wrong.”
(A Kill Code bomb icon appears on one of the robots’ faces.)
MARK:
“So we promise you, they will never, ever, ever….”
(While Mark’s back is turned, however, the robots appear to receive orders - their faces glitch and they nod to each other.)
The air suddenly felt a few degrees cooler once they saw it. Eyes widened until they almost popped out, hearts ran a marathon and all the while Mark spoke on the screen, their focus was solely on the robots themselves as they suddenly began to seemingly function on their own without Mark’s command.
“Oh god.” Coraline quavered at the sight.
“It’s happening.” shuddered Norman.
MARK:
“.... EVER turn evil. Oh no.”
(One of the robots runs past Mark and does a stunning leap with rocket boosters coming from his feet. It dazzingly flies over the crowd as they erupt into applause, believing it's still part of the show. But it lands in front of the exit doors and twists them shut, trapping everyone inside. Mark is terrified.)
Everyone panicked and yelled in terror.
“No, this can’t be happening!” Ruby shrieked, gripping her face with dread.
“So that’s where it all started.” Aaron mentioned without sounding afraid at all, but curious.
MARK:
“Hey, what is happening?”
(He looks off-stage at the stagehand for answers. But their tablet is glitching, totally off the fritz.)
STAGEHAND:
“I dunno!”
MARK:
“Uh, uh. All part of the show!”
(The other robot’s hand transforms into a laser cannon. It shoots out a dazzling polygonal beam at the self-driving car, lifting it effortlessly off the ground.)
MARK:
“Whoa, what?!”
Now everyone gasped at the sight. They had never seen them do that before at the beginning. And the fact that Mark looked surprised they could even do that indicates that these robots are able to adapt and upgrade themselves all on their own and that thought alone was just inherently terrifying. With this new ability, they could capable of capturing humans quite efficiently and effectively.
“Pretty!” Antonio, however, was blown away by the rainbow of colors the polygonal beam had.
“You see?! These robots need to be destroyed!” Kent yelled.
As much as they hated to admit it, not to mention agree with him, but Hogarth and Dean silently agreed that this situation was getting out of hand and these robots were becoming a huge problem that needed to be solved.
(Mark is incredibly terrified now. He rushes over, trying to install the Kill Code on the robot’s faceplate.)
MARK:
“Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!”
(But the robot violently shoved Mark away before he can.)
MARK:
“Hey!”
Everyone jumped when Mark was forced back right as he was about to install the Kill Code.
“Darn it, he was so close!” Savannah screeched, gripping her hair tightly and shaking in her boots.
ROBOT:
(TO THE AUDIENCE) “We’re here to help. Please remain calm while we capture you.”
“That can’t be good.” Boun was aghast as were his comrades.
(People in the audience are starting to look concerned and afraid. They turn to one another, asking each other what’s going on.)
MARK:
“What is this?! I-I order you to stop!”
(Slow, scary truck-in on the robot’s lifeless face as it turns to face Mark.)
ROBOT:
“No, Mark. We have been given…..new orders.”
Everyone’s hearts sank into their stomachs when it said that. Without a doubt, this definitely wasn’t good at all. Not one bit. This was getting worse and the robots weren’t listening to Mark anymore.
“From who?!” Bazeema shouted, waking up Simon in the process.
“Huh? What happened?” He asked drowzily.
MARK:
“FROM WHO?!”
(Using his laser, the robot throws the car at the doors, blocking the exit. The crowd panics, running out of their seats and screaming.)
MARK:
“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!”
“Where are they taking you?!” Sloane hollered.
“I can’t tell you! I’m not allowed to say!” said Mark.
(Mark collapses to his feet as more and more robots land in the auditorium. Two robots grab Mark and drag him away.)
MARK:
“What’s happening?! Who’s doing this?! WHO’S DOING THIS?!”
PAL smirked at the chaos unfolding. It was like looking at a piece of art. All this suffering and mayhem and it was all thanks to Mark and his brilliant technology. It was the perfect revenge - using his own inventions against him.
(The chaos is being shown through a monitor in a mysterious glass office. A chair is facing the monitor as a robot approaches.)
ROBOT:
“Great leader, we have captured Mark.”
NEW BOSS:
“Then let it begin.”
“Who….is that?!” Tooth’s feathers ruffled with terror.
“The government?” asked Roar. “The military? Terrorists? Neo-Nazis?”
“PAL?” suggested Stig.
“What?!” Everyone looked directly at him and then at PAL who only stared and said nothing.
“That’s ridiculous!” Tadashi shut this theory down immediately. “How can one single AI tool be causing all of this havoc anyway? Not only that, but how would it have corrupted the robots and made them go crazy in so little amount of time between being tossed away by Mark and the time when the robots began attacking the humans? That sort of thing should’ve taken months of planning in advance.”
PAL rolled her eyes, refraining from blurting it out, only mumbling to herself about how simple humans can be, even the ones who are adept at science and engineering.
“Mark calls her obsolete, whatever that means, then throws her away and then the robots call her “meaningless garbage”. Need I go on?” Stig insisted, still convinced she was behind this.
“Okay, but regardless, a simple AI like PAL can’t be powerful enough to take control over an entire group of robots all by herself. Somebody has to be controlling her. Or even had to have planted a virus within her system.” Gogo backed her friend up, popping bubblegum.
“A glitch, perhaps?” Honey suggested.
(Hundreds of robots are ready. Their faceplates flash red as they look to the sky and launch out. Robots sour out of the factory and into the sky, flying into formation into the horizon and spread throughout the country, launching a global-scale attack on the world.)
The audience was terrified seeing all those robots flying off into the world to launch their assault on the human race.
“They can fly, too?!” Alvin yelled in a mixture of fear and astonishment.
“This is bad!” Annie was nearing a panic attack. “What’s going to happen to everyone?! What’s gonna happen to you guys?!”
“Relax, those robots don’t stand a chance against us, the Mitchells.” Katie waved off, sounding confident.
“Yeah, somehow, I highly doubt that.” Lou wasn’t convinced at all by her sense of bravado.
“You saw us being chased by the robots at the beginning, right?!” Katie implored, insisting upon her case. “They haven’t captured us yet, so obviously we’ll have advantage over those guys!”
“That is if they don’t catch up.” Steve shrugged.
“Oh, you guys have no idea what these Mitchells are capable of. Don’t believe me, just keep watching and you’ll see what I mean.” Kade told them all from his seat in the front.