Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Mydei hands a flash drive to Phainon and says nothing as he walks away.
Phainon was left confused as he looked at the red drive in his hand, the lance of strife decorated it.
“What?” Phainon didn’t quite know what to make of this situation because he had never been given anything by his blonde classmate before. Yeah, they had several classes in common, would study together, had lunch and dinner together, and sometimes just hung out to do nothing but kill time at his dorm’s common area, and helped him with the Kremnoan language courses he was taking. But this was the first time Mydei had ever done something quite in this vein.
“Guess I’ll take a look after I get back to the dorm…” He had two more classes before his day was over, one was a science course where the teacher was probably insane, and the other was a history course that he had chosen to round out the credits needed for his degree.

He picked up a quick dinner from the convenience store located on campus before heading back to his dorm. When he gets his textbooks out of his bag, the flash drive falls out onto his desk, and he stares at it for a moment. “Oh right, Mydei gave me this.”
He tried to see if there was any further indicator of what it contained, but it was a futile endeavour.
Phainon let out a sigh. “I hope it isn’t a virus. I’ll turn off the wifi just in case,” He opened his laptop and plugged in the usb after disabling the connection to the internet.
The flash drive immediately loaded and the folder containing its contents popped up.

There are only two files on the drive:

One labelled ReadMe.txt

One labelled StrangleMe.mp3

Phainon opts to open the text document first, and furrows his brow at the single sentence it contains.

"Let me know what you think later."

He could almost hear Mydei saying it, too.

“Okay, I really hope you didn’t give me a weird sex thing, dude,” Phainon said as he stared at the file titled StrangleMe.mp3.
Phainon finds his headphones and plugs them in, making sure that even if his roommate came in, they couldn’t hear whatever Mydei had put on this drive.

He clicked on StrangleMe.mp3 and was greeted by music that featured Mydei’s voice.

[Song begins with no instrumental]

[Vocalist starts in a lilting whisper]

 

Hundreds of thousands of times 

Hundreds of thousands of years

Fighting unbearable sins

Facing the darkest of fears

 

[vocalist pauses]

[piano joins, lilting]

 

YOU SAVED ME-

 

[crash of drums and guitar joining in]

 

The stars in the sky are so bright

(oh so bright, oh so bright)

They could strangle me with their light 

(And yet I, and yet I)

Want to be near you

(So I can, so I can)

SO I CAN HEAR YOU-

(just to, just to)

 

[Drop to just drums]

 

Just to hold you

Just to make you MINE-

 

(Just to make you mine)

(Just to make you mine)

(Just to make, just to make)

 

[Piano comes back in]

 

Deliver me from my sin 

(darkness dwells deep within)

Fighting battles I cannot win

(water cold, ice in my bones)

For the time that I live 

(an immortal, eternal dream)

For the tears that you cry

(scar so deep, make me weak)

 

[pause]

[bass comes in first this time]

[followed by guitar, then drums & piano]

 

YOU SAVED ME- 

(from the deep, memory)

YOU TOLD ME- 

(yes you told me)

YOU HELD MY HAND- 

[Drawn out while guitar riffs]

 

[slower beat]

 

With the dirt coated in blood 

(golden, red, and black, so so black)

Anger, hate, putrid- no love-

(misery, misery)

The battle can never be won 

(titankin, they can’t win)

The whispers keep egging me on- 

(don’t listen, don’t give in)

 

[screaming]

 

THEY CALL ME- 

I'M FALLING- 

[vocals only, shouting quickly, desperately]

PLEASE SAVE ME-

[music cuts off half a measure]

 

[music box-esque noise]

Then the sun in the sky

(in the sky)

Burned with unbearable light 

(so bright)

Your hand, it grabbed mine 

(so strong, oh so strong)

[vocals louder with increased passion]

SALVATION FOUND IN YOUR EYES-

(Why, oh, oh why-)

 

[quiet again]

 

Hundreds of thousand of times 

(Don’t let me go, I could cry)

Hundreds of thousands of years

(Hold me tight, love of my life)

Fighting against darkness inside

Always running from fear

Your hand it held mine (yes it held mine)

I felt the sun shine (I felt the sun shine so) BRIGHT

 

[no instrumental]

[whispered vocals & screamed vocals]

[instrumental returns for “You held my hand”]

 

You saved me-

(Held my breath every night)

YOU SAVED ME-

(Watching the darkness, watching the light)

YOU HELD MY HAND-

(Held my hand)

 

[rhythm shifts, pained tone]

[instrumentals maintain earlier time signature]

 

You broke the black wake

(So cold, so afraid)

You stymied my pain

(So much pain, so much pain)

You wiped away tears

You fought all my fears 

(Fallen tears, assuaged fears)

 

You were stronger than me

(So strong, oh so strong)

Always too forgiving

(Don’t hold back, no remorse)

Your sadness it hurt

And your darkness it burned

(In my arms, rest with me)

 

Yet you let me

Yes you let me in

Yet you SAVED me [“saved” sung louder]
(Saved me)

Yet you held me

(Oh, oh, why, do you cry, do you cry?)

 

Through all those millions of years

(So many, so many years)

We fought the strongest of foes

(Never tasting defeat)

 

[screaming]

AND WITH THE PASSING OF TIME-

(Your hand in mine, your heart beats in time)

THOUGH IT MAY NOT BE RIGHT-

(Undying, flames burning)

MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU-

(Only you, only you)

[speaking]

You are something divine

 

[song goes quiet]

[instrumental crescendo]

[screaming]

HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF YEARS- 

(Fighting back, fighting back)

AMID THE WARRING BLACK TIDE-

(Bleeding gold, bleeding gold)

YOUR BACK ALWAYS AGAINST MINE-

(Faith in you, only you)

OUR HEARTS BEATING IN TIME-

(For the rest of my life)

 

[song grows quiet again]

 

I will never forget you

How could I ever forget

(forget you)

When the sun on your neck

Once so unbearably bright

(It still shine)

Your lips so soft upon mine

And our breathing in time

(So in time, So in time)

 

[drums crescendo, and guitar joins]

[vocalist screaming]

 

AS YOU CALL MY NAME-

I WILL SAVE YOU-

THEY CAN'T BREAK YOU-

I WILL SAVE YOU-

(Ro tsm hkgr ikeugo wisr grs)     

 

YOU SAVED ME- 

YOU HELD MY HAND-

I WILL SAVE YOU- 

THEY CAN’T BREAK YOU

YOUR SUN LIGHTS THE WAY

(aratil mo dremd o rkl nikamy)  

 

[Instrumental carries a few measures and suddenly cuts off, a sharp guitar chord being the last noise heard]

[1 measure pause]

[vocals only, quietly]

 

The night it turns into day

(No escape from the day)

All those nightmares now at bay

(Falling fast oh so fast)

Tangled up in my sheets

(Drenched in you, sweet release)

Your eyes, a comfort to me

(Oh, oh, oh, so comforting)

Chasing out all of my fears

(No more darkness and no more tears)

Calming my every breath

(Hands in mine, please don’t leave)

As you're holding me tight

(Dream of me, only me)

No more need to fight 

(We have won, don’t look back)

Because you saved me 

(yes you saved me)

 

[piano joins the last line softly, letting the last note hover]

 

And I’ll save you all the same

Phainon stares at the screen, breathless.
“Wait.” He tried to find the bits that were in Kremnoan, and he listened to them a few times each, writing them down so he could translate them.

‘Ro tsm hkgr ikeugo wisr grs’

‘Aratil mo dremd o rkl nikamy’

They were background vocals, but sure enough they were there. Two lines, only the first of the two was sung by Mydei, the other by the girls who provided the other voices and probably the rest of the instrumentals.

He pulled out his Kremnoan dictionary, and looked up the words to the second line first, feeling it to be important but less so than the one done in Mydei’s voice.
“Until the end of Strife”
He then looked up the translation for the other phrase, had it not had the last two words attached to it, could have meant something else entirely.
But it didn’t.
Phainon felt himself utter the words out loud to himself quietly, “Ro tsm hkgr ikeugo wisr grs.” Phainon felt his face flush. There was no other way to read the song, not with what that line translated to.

‘I am in love with you.’ Mydei’s voice had even dripped with something as he sang the line, it matched the look that he had when he caught Phainon staring at him too long.

It was kind of undeniable, really.

He pulled out his phone and sent Mydei a text that simply read:

Ro tsm hkgr ikeugo wisr grs, eh? The same goes for you.

The read receipt was immediate. Mydei had been waiting for him to respond.

Good.

Was all he got back from the blonde.
Phainon smiled.

You wrote a whole song for me?
You could have just asked me out directly.
Unless, of course, you’re too shy.

Again the read receipt was immediate, and then his phone started to ring, and he answered immediately.

Chapter Text

He tapped his pencil on the desk, trying to find the correct beat. He was struggling with this one, even though he had thought he had a good idea of what it was supposed to be. It doesn't help that he’s not fluent in scoring drums. He would just have to record either his pencil tapping the beat out or just have a friend look it over.

He ran a hand through his hair, his eyebrows knit in frustration before leaning back in the chair and humming the tune of the lyrics: ti-ti-ti-re-mi-re…la-ti-ti-do-do-mi-mi…

He pulled out the acoustic guitar he used when composing and tried to hork through it that way. If that didn’t work (which it didn’t) he would just turn to the electric piano that he had next to his setup to knock things out.

He decided that he may as well send the sheet music as it currently is to the drummer- he knew why Mydei was writing this song at least.

To confess to the friend he had a crush on for at least half a year. Such a dense man, that crush was. He had been tutoring Phainon in Kremnoan, which he had planned on including in the song in a very thinly-veiled direct confession; just a shame Mydei didn’t know how else to get through to the idiot.

He had written the lyrics well over a month ago, and has been working on this thing ever since. Toiling away at it while he probably should have been working on the project for Advanced Chem. Whatever, he could do that later. His crush was more important right now, and while Mydei wasn’t a coward, he also didn’t want to confess in the open where he could be rejected very publicly if his feelings weren’t mutual. That would be a massive blow to his heart, honestly.

He sent the drummer the score as it was and decided to take a walk while he waited for the drummer’s response.

“I should get something to eat,” he looked at the time. “Fuck, I lost myself in it again.” He had spent the last five hours working on the song, and he wasn’t even through the first 21 lines of lyrics (it filled 6 pages of paper if he didn’t use columns on his word processor.)

Frustrated with the song and with himself, he grabbed his jacket and headed out to the nearest 24-hour diner.

Imagine his surprise when he saw Phainon there, drowning in his own chaotic homework nightmare. Mydei didn’t even ask if he could join the guy, he just sat down at the table and waited until Phainon was lucid enough to greet him. He wondered if the waitress would notice him before Phainon did.

And only just barely did the waitress win the race that they didn’t know they were participating in by asking what Mydei wanted to drink and if he had time to look over the menu.

Phainon looked up from the notes, his glasses slipping down slightly, and looked so confused by the blonde’s presence at this late hour. “Mydei?”

Mydei, eternally stoic, held back a smile and a laugh at the other man’s lack of situational awareness, and provided a relatively honest explanation for his presence before he was asked. “I was up late with a project, I got stuck on the flow of said project, and came here to get food,” not a lie in any way, “just so happened to find you here, buried under your textbooks, and decided to join you.”

“There are so many seats though-” he swore he saw the other man’s face turn slightly pink.

“Yeah, but here I’ve got someone who also needs to eat food instead of just sitting alone at three in the morning eating pancakes with a milkshake and coffee.” He raised an eyebrow, the waitress was there to take the order so he ordered without looking at the menu. “And bacon. No bread, just bacon,” he looked at the waitress for the bit about the bacon, making sure she got the order down. “Did this dog order anything besides coffee?” He indicated Phainon while talking to the waitress.

“Not yet, no,” she fidgeted slightly.

“Really? Spending at least three hours and ONLY ordered coffee?” He looked at Phainon as he added to the order, “this puppy will have the same thing, but sausage and no milkshake. One check, I’m paying for his, too.” He couldn’t help but smirk at Phainon’s reaction to that.

The waitress nodded and headed back to input their order before coming back with a cup for Mydei and a full pot of fresh coffee.

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“Of course!” She wandered away to help another late-night patron.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“And I’m pretty sure you haven’t eaten in the last eight hours,” half talking about himself in this instance.

“What time is it?”

“After three.”

“Oh.” 

“Do you have classes tomorrow- er-” he paused, thinking of the time, “later today?”

“No,” the white-haired man looked like he had just gotten smacked with a frying pan or something. “I just have a lot of translating to do and I guess I lost track of time.”

“Which class?”

“Anthropology.”

“What’s got you stumped?” Mydei pulled whatever Phainon was working on towards himself to take a look, permission be damned. He furrowed his brow as he looked at the… thing that Phainon was working on. “So you’re trying to translate ancient Styxian, and you’re stuck on…” he looked closer at the pictures of the stone tablets that Phainon was slowly working through, notes scribbled all over the photos. “On some guy’s complaint about his copper order and other complaints against some guy named Ea-nasir?”

“Yes?” A look of incredible disappointment on his face.

‘Just like a puppy, dear Nikador, save me now.’

The waitress arrived with their food at that moment.

Mydei hummed, “thank you ma’am,” and immediately took a sip of his milkshake, passing the metal cup with the extra shake over to Phainon, who instinctively accepted the offer of a sweet treat before digging into his own hot pancakes.

“That’s not fair! You can read them?”

Mydei was grateful for the milkshake, he could hide the laugh he held back while taking a sip. “Yeah? You can’t?” 

Phainon pouted while eating his pancakes. “It isn’t fair.”

“You don’t live in hell for four years and not learn the language, Phainon.” Mydei looked down to focus on his own pancakes, drowning them in syrup before methodically cutting them apart into bite-sized pieces and eating them, glancing up briefly at the adorable, pouting man across from him.

“Still, that’s not fair.” Phainon took a sip of his definitely-cold coffee and grimaced. Mydei slid his own towards the man, having not had a sip yet. Phainon easily accepted the offer of a hot, caffeinated beverage. “So what sort of project has got you up this late, Mydei?”

He had to choose his words carefully, because he didn’t want to lie. His bandmates had constantly poked fun at him for being bad at lying. Mydei stopped playing card games with them because of their constant jokes. “Humanities,” not a total lie, he figured he could get away with it with the help of food to hide any trace of lying. “It’s kicking my ass, if I’m going to be honest with you.” Definitely not a lie.

His phone lit up, and he took a look at the notification. His drummer had gotten back to him, but the response included an audio file, and there was NO WAY he was going to open that file while sitting across from the person to whom it related.

“What’s up, you’re blushing.” Phainon had already taken his notes back from Mydei, but looked concerned.

“Nothing much,” Fuck, he was blushing? ‘May Nikador strike me down before I make a fool of myself.’ He coughed lightly. “Just a message from an old friend of mine.”

“At four in the morning?”

Neither really paid much attention to the time as it passed, it seemed. Food, it turns out, is a good distraction from the clock.

“I guess so. I feel bad because I sent them a message before I came here, not realizing what time it was.” He sighed. He was still not lying, thank the titans, lies would be much harder than normal at this hour, especially since Phainon was a human lie detector if he stayed up too long. A frustrating trait if you are trying to hide something major like being in a band AND that you’re writing music for the guy across from you.

“What kind of project?”

“Something related to Mnestia, I just wanted to get my friend’s input.” Again, no lies. It was related to the romance titan in the most obtuse way possible, he figured, being a ‘please date me’ song that he was writing.

“Cool, what’s got you stuck though?”

“The flow of the thing,” he absently started tapping out the guitar rhythm, something that would not be coherent without the rest of the piece.

Phainon nodded thoughtfully and finished off his own plate of food. “You gonna eat that?” He pointed at Mydei’s bacon with his fork.

Mydei scoffed, “of course I am,” taking a bite of the succulent meat. “What do you take me for? Bacon is a delectable treat,” he stated like it was a fact and ate the next piece of bacon while he stared at Phainon, waiting for the inevitable pout that he loved seeing the man make when he was denied something small like bacon. “Okay, fine,” he slid the plate and the two remaining pieces of bacon to Phainon’s side of the table, the action entirely premeditated. With the forfeiture of his bacon, he had nothing else to eat, and would just be sitting there watching Phainon struggle if either of them didn’t leave right then. He checked his phone again, ‘one missed call’ popped up on the lock screen. “I’ve got to call my friend back, they apparently forgot that I don’t have my notifications turned up at night.”

“That’s fair.” Phainon seemed determined to return to his studies, absently repeating the tune that Mydei had been tapping out.

“Make sure you get some sleep. Set a timer or something or I’ll have to make sure the manager kicks you out before six.” Mydei said before standing up from the booth.

“Yeah, yeah,” Phainon’s attention was now wholly on his notes, “I’ll get sleep when I’m dead, it’s fine,” said as if this was entirely normal.

Mydei patted Phainon on the shoulder and said “ro tsm hkgr ikeugo wisr grs,” before heading out, not waiting for Phainon’s reaction. He paid for them both, and made sure to leave a generous tip because he was certain Phainon had been there for five hours at the very least. He also knew that Phainon wasn’t quite fluent enough yet in Kremnoan to know the confession for what it was. He gave a small wave to Phainon, and spoke to the waitress about the time limit he had imposed on his crush. She nodded and agreed to help with the task, especially after seeing the tip she was getting for the help.

“Yeah, so, like, what the fuck is this sound you’ve got going? I think we should go harder to fit the lyrics, Dei.” The very tired voice on the phone said as soon as the call was picked up.

“Yeah, that’s why I’m having problems. I can’t quite figure out the rhythm to go with, and I’m debating if I want to keep with the format I started with.” He was walking towards his apartment while the sun started to come up.

“Have you been up all night?”

Not one to lie, “yes I have been.” Mydei sighed. “I did remember to eat, though, so you can’t hold that against me.” He steered the topic back to the song, “I’m wondering if the ballad is the wrong way to go. Should I drop that angle you think?”

“Yeah, that might be for the best, Dei.” His drummer sounded so exhausted. “Get some sleep before you make any massive changes though. I sent you a couple options for the drum beat, so I hope they can help. We can talk about this in person later, I gotta get ready for class.”

“Fair enough.”

The call ended as Mydei made it to his apartment.

He hung his coat up on the hook by the door and took off his shoes before heading back to the study with his equipment in it. He sighed, and walked over to the table, scribbling a note on some scratch paper before heading to his bedroom to sleep.

The Puppy seems to like the guitar flow. Was all the simple note read.

He smiled to himself, and hummed the tune of the chorus as he got ready for sleep, once again very thankful for his black-out curtains that his mom had insisted he get, knowing his proclivity towards sleeping in the middle of the day.

He set an alarm for noon, two hours before his only class of the day, and almost immediately fell asleep while the world woke up around him.

Chapter Text

Mydei absently stared at the score in front of him.

And he sighed deeply.
This was going to be a process, that’s for sure.
He spun in his chair, and rolled backwards towards the acoustic guitar that sat in the corner. “I’m sure the melody is right, but…” He plucked some notes in order to try to figure out what was wrong. “With the dirt coated in blood-” he sang quietly as he tried to work this out, he hadn’t even TOUCHED the piano section yet, knowing that it would probably be more of a pain than he currently had the patience for. “Peucesta might be able to do the piano on his own,” he muttered before continuing quietly singing to his strumming, trying to figure out where he had messed up. “Then the sun in the sky- burned unbearably bright-” He tried that line a second time, and then a third. “This absolutely doesn’t match the rhythm. That would help to have it right…” He returned to his desk and fixed the lyrics on the application in front of him, muttering the changed phrase while figuring out the tune for the changed lyric. “Burned with un-bear-a-ble li-i-ight-” And he continued to the next lyric. “Your hand, it grabbed mine,” he had to adjust a lot on the score to make up for the shifted lyrics. This app was a damn pain, but it was the best way for him to figure this out, so he kept using it despite being able to afford a more professional program. He liked how this one was kind of janky, it reminded him to not get too far ahead of himself because of the bugs it contained.
Thankfully, he didn’t need to change much at that point in the score.
The problem would be further down the score, and he almost regretted how long this thing was going to be, except that it needed to be long enough to both get the message across and make it something he could perform on stage and not be embarrassed by. It would be a main piece of whatever show he did, he knew that much. Other artists had much longer songs that felt like they didn’t have a soul behind them; this one had everything behind it though.

All of the feelings he had for Phainon were unravelled with the words he had written. Granted, he was using historical figures as allegory, but he knew that Phainon would realize what the message of the song was- he wasn’t as dim as people had made him out to be, after all.

To make sure Phainon would be able to understand the most important part of the song, he had made himself seem reluctant to aid Phainon when it came to his own native language. Making sure that Phainon could very clearly understand when and where words began and ended. Making sure that Phainon would be able to navigate the Okehman-Kremnoan dictionary he had bought for the overgrown puppy, assuring him that this version was better than the one the school had provided students. [It was, because it was a COMPLETE dictionary, but also included a whole section on homonyms that the one the school gave them failed to include. Typical.]
He managed to wiggle his way into the tutor role because of that dictionary, and he was insistent on Phainon keeping at it regardless how much he complained.
Sometimes, he would catch himself staring at Phainon as the man got hyper-fixated on his work or when they would inevitably end up watching cartoons for a break. And whenever Phainon turned to look at him, he looked away, finding literally anything else to focus on, so sometimes the loose threads on the hem of a pant leg would suddenly become the most fascinating thing in the world.

Today he had been helping with sentence structure, something he was even annoyed at sometimes. Okheman made so much more sense in that regard.
And knowing that his first language was a pain in the ass even for him, he was more than happy to help his puppy figure this shit out. There were a lot of ways that something could go horribly, horribly wrong with his own language.

He was happy he was a polyglot, knowing entirely too many ways to say “fuck off, loser” was a good skill to have when you have a puppy to protect from hazing and bullying. He knew Phainon was by no means weak, but he hated seeing the man cry.
When he cussed someone out in Ancient Styxian, he swore that the guy he yelled at had shit himself. The ancient language of the tides of death was both elegant and terrifying, after all.
The language of the Skyfolk was fun to throw at people, too. It always sounded like he was praising the target instead of what he was actually saying. “Go drown in a pool of your own heathen blood” was a notable favourite in Classical Aidonian, and was absolutely something that sounded way happier than it actually was. The only people who knew what he had been saying were people from Aidonia, and when those people saw who was saying something so appalling, they either kept their mouths shut or laughed.
His habit of throwing out insults in anything but Okheman actually landed him with a good handful of friends, and endeared him to the psychotic Professor Anaxagoras, who would sling insults right back at him in a different language, losing the rest of the class in the process.
Hyacine, the Aidonian, was more than taken aback when she saw the face of the man who just casually spoke with such derision in the language only found it weird novels, plays, and history books back home. Apparently she had been shocked that someone from Kremnos would be able to pronounce the phrases so eloquently that she demanded to be his friend.
And the “Butterfly” twins, Castorice and Polyxia, had frozen still when they heard him shouting at kids in the halls who wouldn’t stop loitering in Ancient Styxian. It wasn’t even a language most people knew how to pronounce, let alone understand the complex nature of it.
He was happy to have people who grew fond of him because of that sort of thing. College was good for finding that kind of relationship among his peers.
He was almost hesitant to include the two lines of Kremnoan in the song, knowing full well that Aidonian or Styxian would sound so much better than the harsh syllables he had grown up with, but he had decided to maintain the lyrics as he first wrote them. Talking about war and about love sounded pretty damn near identical, after all, with two words being the only distinction between “I will always love you” and “I will seek this battle” was difficult to catch if you didn’t pay attention.

He helped Phainon with his studies for a few hours before heading back to his apartment to continue staring at the unfinished score on the screen again. He keyed in some notes and fixed some of the lyrics in the later half of the song.
He was half of the way through the entire project by now, and it only took him two months to get this far!
His head hit his desk hard at that revelation.
He decided it was time for bed at that point.
He showered and got ready for bed, laying a towel over his pillow in an attempt to keep the pillow from getting too damp from his hair, which took forever to dry even when toweled off. He turned off the light and fell asleep hugging one of his stuffed animals, a white and blue chimera that he cherished dearly.

Chapter Text

“Hey, it's coming along nicely.” Peucesta was sitting backwards on Mydei’s chair, listening to sections of the song on repeat, making sure each one flowed properly, and fixing the piano sections where it was needed. “I love the dip here when the piano starts up, actually.” He swayed back and forth on the chair, folding his arms on the back of it while he listened, and slouching over it completely when editing the score. The brunette had his hair tied up in an awkward bun and was chewing on a pencil when he wasn’t talking or typing, green eyes plastered on the score as it rushed by. “The lyric changes worked pretty smoothly too.” He turned and looked up at Mydei who was standing nervously in the corner of the room, seemingly awaiting his doom.
This was the first song he had ever taken the time to compose for their band, and he wanted it to be perfect- not just for Phainon, either. His nerves were becoming more and more frazzled as their work on the thing progressed.

“I actually really like the addition of the music box and the chunk at the end and the sad call-and-response bit hits hard,” Peucesta paused and tapped his pencil against his teeth.

“And there’s something wrong with it, otherwise you wouldn’t be giving me that look.” Mydei half-glared at his old friend, partly from worry and partly from the horrible sound his little tick made. ‘Seriously dude, stop it with the pencil already,’ he complained internally, trying to not show the irritation that the click-click of wood on teeth caused.

“Like, is your throat going to be okay with this much screaming?” The concern was very visible on Peucesta’s face, brows knit and eyes locked on Mydei.

“That's what my vocal exercises are for. You know that I’ve done songs that are mostly screaming and I was just fine before.” He crossed his arms and looked away from his friend’s stare. “I do the exercises every day, and this one is just-” he took a breath and messed with the braid that sat over his right shoulder, “This song can only work with the changes in tone like that. It’s supposed to be something like whiplash, so the ferocity of the screaming coupled with the soft words of endearment is kind of key to the whole vibe.”

“That’s true.” His friend turned back to the screen and listened to the tracks individually, fixing weird flubs as he went. “I just don’t want your mother yelling at me again for letting you destroy your vocal chords from too much use. She really, really laid into me last time you did that,” he didn’t look up as he clicked away at the score, fingers tapping on the desk lightly to follow the rhythm. “I’m gonna need to hear the vocal track soon to get a better idea.”

Mydei nodded at that comment. “I just wanted to make sure the tune was right before I even did a more serious recording.”

“Does that mean you have a test version of the lyrics that I can hear?”

Mydei sighed and moved over to the computer, clicking away at folders to pull up a folder that had been made specifically for this song. “I did a couple takes when I was working on the first draft, so the lyrics don’t match, but the tune is more-or-less the same. I just need to do a take with the more recent lyrics for it to actually sound coherent.”

“You want to record one right now? No screaming though, you’ll get yelled at by your neighbors again if you do that.”

“Sure.” Mydei had a little setup that was partially secluded where he could record without too much echo, so he walked over to the mic and took a sip of water. “Never hurts to keep at it. Let me know if the vocals are fucky, and I still don’t have the backup vocals finished, so you’re just going to have to deal with them not being there yet.”

“Fair enough.” Peucesta pulled up the recording software, “I’m glad you know the lyrics by heart now, though.” He handed the headphones over to Mydei before he counted down to signal him starting the track as it currently stood.

“Hundreds of thousands of times,” Mydei had been slaving over the lyrics for such a long time that they were second nature by now.

“-and I’ll save you all the same-” He managed to not fuck up the timing somehow.

Peucesta took the headphones back and listened back to the vocal track that Mydei just did, trimming the excess from either end before doing a test run of the song, and when he finished, he handed the headphones back to Mydei before saying “You know, I think you’ll make that boy cream his pants with this one.”

That earned a straight up glare from Mydei. “No need to be so vulgar about it,” and he put the headphones on and waited for the song to start. He closed his eyes and let it sink into his bones. He was accidentally off key in some places, and the fact that the screaming lines were just spoken slightly louder than normal felt off, but that was to be expected. He took off the headphones when it finished. “Your thoughts?”

“Honestly, I’m sticking with the vulgar opinion, Dei.”

Mydei laughed at that. “That’s not something I want to think about while I’m busy with this, especially not with my friend here.”

Peucesta took a second before breaking down in a fit of hysterical laughter. “You should see your face! Holy fuck you are blushing so damn hard!”

Mydei growled, “I will actively throw that pencil into a goddamn sewer,” trying to preserve what little dignity he had in this endeavor.

“I’ll only get another pencil, so I’ll laugh all I want!” He spun in the chair laughing.

“I could always shove it up your ass and land you in the fucking hospital.”

“Kinky,” his friend smirked before cackling some more at Mydei’s expense.

“Whatever.” Mydei left the room, completely frustrated and flustered. 

He had been subjected to Peucesta’s weird teasing ever since he told the guy about his crush on the silver-haired puppy known as Phainon. It wasn’t malicious at all, either, if Mydei was to be honest about it. Everyone knew he was gay, but no one expected the person that would first steal his breath away would have been a weird, try-hard farm kid from the middle of nowhere.
In so many respects, they were polar opposites as far as others saw them. Hell, even Phainon was shocked when Mydei offered to help with his homework after he handed him the better dictionary because he had been struggling with how to pronounce “nikamy”, which was more than fair. It was one of the most important words to know, since “Strife” was tied to almost everything in his culture. 

Phainon had said something along the lines of “your language is strife incarnate, beautiful but also the absolute worst thing I’ve ever tried to say out loud.”

Mydei had replied in turn, “beauty is absolutely not the word I would use for it. Beauty doesn’t even have its own word in Kremnoan.” He had felt those bright blue eyes on him when he had disparaged his own home that way.

“Truly a shame. Some of the most beautiful things come from there,” the man had responded with such sadness in his voice that Mydei was caught completely off guard by it, and he had stared at Phainon in response, gold meeting azure in the most brilliant way.

“I prefer Okheman anyway,” Mydei had wanted to drink in those eyes, but he had turned to the worksheet pretty quickly.

“One of these days, I’ll teach you the language that my grandma taught me. We don’t use it anymore for things outside of fairy tales, nursery rhymes, and songs.” Mydei saw the soft smile from the corner of his eye, he didn’t want to stare. “I think I may be the only one left other than Cyrene and my old teacher who can even write and read the script anyway.”

“It can’t be any worse than Ancient Styxian.” Mydei tried to shrug it off before he watched Phainon write something down on the paper in front of him.

The script was so strange looking, all curly and unlike anything else he had ever seen. “It reads the opposite of Okheman, so it’s easy to get tangled if the languages' words are next to each other. I think Oronyx may have been left-handed, honestly.”

“So what does it say?”

“That’s a secret~” and Phainon had winked at Mydei. “I’ll let you know after I pass this class.”

Mydei had failed to hold back a laugh at that. “What do you even call this script?”

“Honestly, I was never told what the language was called, just that it is part of my soul and to  never lose it.” Phainon had smiled before reading whatever it was that he wrote out loud.

The language was so captivating that all he could do was stare, it was like the trees were sighing, birds singing, and the laughter of summers long gone while sitting under a sky filled with the most beautiful of stars all rolled into one thing. He had never heard anything like it before, and he really wanted to hear more of it, but Phainon didn’t say anything else in that language. Mydei felt that it must have been the language of the stars themselves being channeled through the human tongue. Too beautiful to be real, almost like the man who spoke them. “It’s a shame that Kremnos doesn’t have the word for beautiful,” Mydei acknowledged in an attempt to compliment Phainon, which got him a confused look from the other man. “I think the closest is ‘ikeugo’.”

“What does that mean?”

“You can look it up yourself, you do have a better dictionary than the rest of the school.” It was only fair in Mydei’s mind, to throw a word that Phainon didn’t know at him in exchange for not defining the thing he had written on Mydei’s notebook cover in permanent marker.

Phainon had whined slightly at that, and Mydei had bit back another laugh. There was no way he was going to let this one slide until he confessed his feelings, and honestly, it was fine that way, though. He then threw out a long string of Kremnonan entirely too quickly for Phainon to catch almost any of.
That was not the most productive day, but it would stick with Mydei forever. 

Chapter Text

He stared at what used to be his glasses, caught between someone's boot and the floor. 

He resisted the instinct to drop to shove the person who had just crushed his precious glasses.

His grandpa had gotten them for him. He didn’t need them, per-se, but he had still cherished them.

And the guy who was currently standing on the dark blue frames ground his heel into them, making sure that they were totally unusable.

What a prick.

“Awww, can’t fight back?” The guy was trying to provoke him, he knew that. “I thought you’d be stronger than that, hick.”

His eye twitched at that, but he had heard worse. All sorts of shit got slung at him because the people around him didn’t believe that he had actually earned his right to this education. They had no idea what he had to go through. He had been a kid who couldn’t even access the internet or have a computer for the majority of his life, he only got a phone because the scholarship that he had rightly earned allowed him the means to buy one. He was given a computer by the dean. It wasn’t new, and it only mostly-worked by the time it had come into his care.

He had gone through the ringer to get here, and his resisting fighting back had been part of the deal.

It isn’t like he got in a lot of fights when he was younger, but he did have a tendency to go a little nuts when someone tried to mess with the younger kids or harass his family. He had once thrown some guys through the wall of a barn because they tried to poach his family’s cows… super normal reaction to people being entirely too rude… right?

He was seriously very much unhappy with his current situation, he couldn’t force the guy to get off his glasses, and he definitely didn’t want to yell at the guy.

As he opened his mouth to speak, there was a blur of black, red, and gold as the guy who was standing on his glasses was suddenly on the ground, face bloody, a blonde kid was standing over the jerk.

“What.” He blinked and shook his head and repeated himself, “what.”

That’s how Phainon met the blonde; hand covered in blood and screaming something in a very harsh-sounding language that he couldn’t identify.

‘Oh, oh no. That guy is, like, really pretty.’ He watched as blonde dusted himself off, and grabbed the very broken glasses from the ground before handing them to Phainon. “Ah, I had that handled.” He took the corpse of his glasses, fingers brushing against the blonde’s, ‘oh no, his hands are soft.’ He then saw the blonde’s eyes. Golden and sharp. ‘Oh Kephale please let this guy be in at least one of my classes.’

“Are you sure?”

‘OH HIS VOICE IS GREAT TOO.’ He nodded, “Thank you though.” Phainon could barely force the words out.

“It seemed like this [unknown word] was pulling the same [unknown word] that he always [unknown word] does,” the blonde looked down at the guy who was currently unconscious (and bleeding) on the grass. “This school has a zero-tolerance policy for the [unknown word x4],” and held out a hand to Phainon in greeting. “My name is Mydei.”

He hesitantly took the blonde’s hand, “Phainon,” happy he didn’t stutter. “What language is that?”

The blonde, Mydei, tilted his head slightly. “Styxian, why?” as if it was something that was common knowledge.

“I have never heard anything like it before.”

Mydei stared for a brief moment in silence. “Really?”

“Yeah.” He looked down at his glasses again, in an attempt to not look at the pretty guy who literally just fought his way into Phainon’s life, but also to survey the level of damage to his precious frames, and frowned. “Damn, the frame got mangled.”

“Do you have another pair?”

“No, I don’t really need them,” he sighed, “my grandfather got these for me though, and it kind of sucks that I managed to get them broken less than a week into the semester.”

“[unknown language x ?],” Mydei grumbled under his breath in a language that sounded completely different from the last mystery language, rolling his shoulder. “Well, whatever the case, you should get that cut looked at.”

“Cut?”

“Your face, [unknown word].”

Phainon put a hand up to his face and pulled it away as soon as he felt the sharp sting of touching a wound. “What the heck?”

The blonde made a sound similar to a choked laugh. “[unknown word] has [unknown word] claws, I swear. [unknown word] dragons,” furrowing his brows. “Do you know where any of the nurse’s offices are?”

“No?” Phainon gave a small shake of his head. ‘Shit, he’s cute.’

“Okay, I’ll show you.” He turned on his heel and seemed to just believe Phainon would follow him.

Who was Phainon kidding? Of course he would follow this guy, so he padded after him, broken glasses in hand.

[They seem to have completely forgotten about the instigator of their fated meeting, who was absolutely going to have, at the very least, a black eye adorning his features in almost no time.]

Chapter Text

All things considered, he was happy to have the Mydei in at least two of his classes that semester. The guy was really kind and sweet, but everyone seemed to be afraid of him for reasons Phainon couldn't figure out.

Mydei was smart, tall, fluent in entirely too many languages, had a sweet tooth that rivaled any child ever, was good with kids, and is like a cartoon princess when it comes to animals- he couldn't go anywhere without SOMETHING invading his personal space and absently petting it.

Phainon had laughed when a family of field mice ended up in Mydei's coat pocket without warning, they didn't move much, just slept there for the warmth and protection, Phainon assumed anyway.

‘There is no reason anyone should be this cute,’ he was smitten. He had no other word for it.

When Mydei had forced an Okheman-Kremnoan dictionary on him, he was shocked.

“It’s not a big deal, besides, the ones the school assigns are incomplete,” he had indicated in the section on homonyms and the thesaurus. Apparently, those were things that were possible in this beast of a language, and Mydei seemed to want to make sure he had the tools needed to pass this absurd class.

Phainon noticed that the spot with the price tag had clearly been ripped out. An odd thing, but he shrugged it off. “Thank you,” he accepted it, but didn't feel like it was anything special. Mydei clearly didn’t act like it was, so he didn’t think about it too much.

“Do you need a tutor, o rkl mymu?” The blonde had very casually asked him that. Totally normal. “It’s my native language, so I’m probably your best bet at learning it, ikuego.”

“Will you tell me what you just called me?”

Mydei smirked at that, eyes half closed in some sort of victory. “Ne o rkl myo ikgor? Roserclinhk ro tsm, tss mo nikamy nik is.” The smirk broadened and Phainon swore he saw Mydei’s eyes sparkle at what he said.

“And that means?” Phainon gave the blonde an exasperated look.

“Not on your life.” Mydei’s response was curt, and his expression didn’t falter, either. “But you’ll know if you actually get help with this obtuse language that barely functions.” He scoffed. “So do you want help or no?”

Phainon nodded his head hesitantly.
“Algight.” Mydei looked at his phone and seemed to message someone. Phainon could swear he was hiding a smile. “We should see when we both have time, but right now, I do not. Send me your schedule and we can coordinate.” He took out a dark pink pen and wrote his cell number on the inside back cover of the dictionary. “Gotta go, see you later.”

Phainon could swear that Mydei was glowing at that moment. “Yeah, I’ll do that.” He gave a half-wave. ‘Why is he so cool? WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO COOL.’

He had to talk to someone about this, but he had no idea who to turn to. Cyrene would make fun of him, and he only barely knew anyone else at the school. He was terrified of telling some of the girls he knew because dear Kephale they were so weird.
So he opted to just head back to his dorm and think to his computer about it. It was getting late anyway.

He pulled out the second-or-third-hand laptop and set it on his desk, the background featuring a photo of his family’s dog was calming to see. 

“Miss you, Snowy,” he gave the screen a little pet, as if the white fluff monster was actually there before he pulled up his incredibly basic recording software. “You won’t believe what just happened.”  He stretched in his uncomfortable chair, and went about discussing the weird things he encountered, with Mydei being the cherry on top of it all. 

He laughed while recounting the events to the photo of his dog, the recordings he did were so he wouldn’t have to be on the phone with Cyrene for too long. Yikes, could she talk his ear off.

When he was done with that, he pulled out his homework, and stared at the book Mydei had handed him. “I should put his number in my phone, shouldn't I?” He crossed his arms and nodded, “why yes, yes I should.”

He smiled as he added the contact, picking out a cute cat as the photo because he didn’t actually have any photos of Mydei.

He shot off a quick text:

Phainon: Hey, thanks for offering to help tutor me.

Phainon: Oh, yeah.

Phainon: This is Phainon.

Mydei took a few minuted to respond, obviously busy.

Mydei: You’re the only one I’ve offered to help with Kremnoan, so yes. Hello, Phainon.

Phainon: I don’t have anything to use as your contact image.

Mydei: …

Mydei: [photo]

It was a photo that Mydei clearly did not take, but was absolutely him. Like a weird candid shot that seemed to be taken at a distance. It was a strange picture,  but it was Mydei, so he was happy just to have it.

Phainon: Thanks!

Phainon: and one for you!

Phainon: [photo]

Mydei: That’s literally a dog.

Phainon: Not just any dog!

Phainon: It’s Snowy!

Mydei: Go to bed. You have early classes tomorrow.

Phainon: Okaaaaaay

Phainon: After I finish this assignment.

Mydei: If you don’t sleep or eat dinner I will literally kill you.

Phainon: okay, okay, I’ll be good

Mydei: Good.

Mydei: Goodnight.

Phainon: Goodnight! 

Phainon: 💙

[read]

Chapter Text

“Well?” 

“‘Well’ what?”

“Do you like it as it is?”

Mydei looked at Perdikkas, arms crossed. “I think I could have gone harder.”

“THAT'S WHA-” Mydei threw Peucesta a dirty look before he could even finish that train of thought.

“I will not hesitate to dismember you.” Mydei barked, clearly done with the man's antics.

Peucesta whined, “you wouldn't hurt little ol'Peucesta!”

“Try me.”

“Save that for Pha-”

Mydei cut him off with a well-aimed punch to the solar plexus. “Do you want to have arms tomorrow?” He snarled over his friend's collapsed form.

Perdikkas laughed. “Of course you'd kill him! Please do! He sucks at everything but music. You'd be doing us all a favor. Pretty sure there are better drummers out there than this guy.” He pointed his thumb at the quite injured Peucesta. 

“He has a date tomorrow, so he doesn't need to be able to breathe,” his platinum-blonde friend said with a voice like a cement block.

“Haephestion, no one cares.” Perdikkas responded. “But I like this song. Just gotta find the right vocalists to back you up without letting your dog find out about it.” He kicked at the now-unconcious Peucesta's leg. “Do we even know any girls?”

“I know four or five who I could maybe ask, but one is particularly bad at keeping secrets if she doesn't get adequate compensation for her silence.” Mydei looked up at the ceiling. “I think the butterfly sisters would be good fits, honestly. They actually both know how to play instruments, and I've heard them sing a few times…” he mused aloud.

“Wow, Mydei knows girls. That's fuckin’ wild,” another friend was leaning on the door frame, largely silent until now.

“It seriously isn’t that weird, grs hks.” Mydei was very frustrated with his little ‘boy’s club’ that followed him at his mother’s behest to the school. Two of them didn't even pass the entrance exams and were there purely because of his family’s money.

‘You’ll need your bodyguards, dearest Mydeimos,’ his mother had said when she put her foot down on the matter. 

He had never been good at telling his mother ‘no’,  but he also understood where she was coming from. Their family was a big deal, and he had been largely willing to accept any of the demands his mother made on almost any subject. He only remembers telling her ‘no’ ten times in his life. The most recent was an arranged marriage, demanding that he be able to attend a college in Okhema before she jumped to such absurd measures to find happiness for him. Like hell he was going to marry some rich girl who looked entirely too much like him for him to even be comfortable in the same room with the woman. Her eyes scared him, Kremnoan dictionary be damned. The girl had scared the shit out of him just by existing. And she was, what, at least five years older than him? Honestly, he would have rather traversed the darkness again before being married to a girl.

He sighed deeply. “Just because I don’t want to have a relationship with a girl doesn’t mean I can't have girls as friends.” He went to go make some coffee… with milk and sugar… and chocolate. Honestly, by the time he had finished making his cup of coffee, it barely qualified as such. No one was willing to question him on it, and he would probably bite them if they did. “I’ll see if they’re willing to help.” He grumbled into his supposed coffee, “Now all of you assholes get out.” He pointed with the hand not holding his coffee. “I have to actually get work done, and you are all in the way.”

“What about Peucesta?” Perdikkas acted out his disbelief to a corny extent.

Mydei walked over to the unconscious drummer, grabbed him by the collar and dragged him to the main door of his apartment, dropped Peucesta unceremoniously, opened the door, and threw him outside. “Taken care of.” He turned to stare at Perdikkas while taking a sip of his… hot beverage. “Now get out.”

“YESSIR.” The rest of his weird goon squad obediently left, the tallest one hoefted the unconscious drummer over his shoulder and closed the door behind them as he left.

“For fuck’s sake. They’re so damn obnoxious.” He sighed and moved to his bedroom, where he fell backwards onto the bed. “I’ll message them, Castorice and Polyxia might actually be willing to help… Cipher and Hyacine though? Maybe Cipher but do I want that hassle?” He picked up the white and blue chimera plush and looked it in the eyes, “What do you think, Snowy?” He brought the plush to his chest and opened the messaging app on his phone. “Can’t hurt to try.”

Mydei: Hey, Cass, Polyxia, I have a serious question for you.

Castorice: Yes, Mydei?

Polyxia: This can’t be good.

Polyxia: You never ask for help with anything, princeling.

Casstorice: DON’T CALL HIM THAT!

Polyxia: I do what I want. And if that means calling him a prince, that means calling him a prince.

Castorice: (˶˃⤙˂˶)

Polyxia: ( •̯́ ^ •̯̀)

Mydei: You know I can read these, right? You didn’t even bother opening a different window, you strange women.

Polyxia: ( ,,⩌'︿'⩌,,)

Polyxia: I’m not weird.

Polyxia: Just paraplegic.

Castorice: Anyway, what can we help you with, Mydei?

Mydei: Would you be willing to help me record background vocals for a song I’m writing? I would be paying you the standard industry rate for your trouble.

Castorice: (｡Ó﹏Ò｡)

Castorice: Seriously?

Polyxia: What’s the catch?

Polyxia: There has to be a catch.

Mydei: You can’t tell anyone about it.

Polyxia: ( ദ്ദി ˙ᗜ˙ )

Polyxia: Secrets are always fun. Count us in.

Castorice: ∘ ∘ ∘ ( °ヮ° ) ?

Castorice: Why are you saying yes without me?!

Polyxia: Because you’re sitting next to me instead of acting normal.

Castorice: (っ,,- ‸ - ,,ς)

Mydei: Just let me know when you have time.
Mydei: I’ll pay extra if I need to.

Polyxia: So it’s for him, is it?

Castorice: ???

Polyxia: I am so right about this, I almost don[‘t want to get paid, this is too good.

Castorice: WHAT IS GOING ON?

Mydei: Say nothing and I’ll not only pay you but also make lunch for both of you for a whole month.

Polyxia: DEAL

Mydei didn’t even pay attention after that, instead he rolled over on his bed, set the chimera in front of him, and bunted it with his forehead, smiling like an idiot in love.

Which he was.

He very, very much was.

Chapter Text

Polyxia was an astute woman.

The fact that she was stuck in a wheelchair didn't actually bother her as much as people thought it did. She often found herself making crass jokes about the state of her legs, causing others to squirm uncomfortably. It’s a shame that people don’t change no matter where you go.

She’s honestly sick of people treating her like she’s a frail little flower because she needs a mobility aid, and she usually responds to people by asking if she should treat people who wear glasses as delicate little flowers in return.

So when she had first encountered Mydei and his cadre of strange men, she was shocked that he treated her like anyone else. Shocked and glad.

The guy was strong, and actually defended her (violently) a handful of times when she got harassed about not having use of her entire body. 

They had met when she overheard him cussing someone out in the language of death incarnate and was immediately intrigued.

She had called out to him, moving quicker than she had in a while (it’s more fun to be a problem and move too slowly in an attempt to force people to treat her seriously), and engaged him in Old Styxian.

“[Hello, may I inquire as to where you managed to pick up the language of Styxia?]” She wasn’t shy about the question or her appearance. “[I rarely hear it spoken in Okhema, let alone as clearly as you just did.]”

He had turned to her and looked at her with golden eyes. “[I spent four years in hell, that’s where and how I learned it.]” His appearance was that of an overgrown house cat, she thought.

She held out a hand to introduce herself, “[My name is Polyxia, and the girl over there who is currently terrified that I came over here with such speed is my sister, Castorice.]” She gestured over to her sister who had tried hiding behind a young birch tree.

The blonde had looked in the direction she pointed and laughed. “[My name is] Mydeimos, [it’s a pleasure to meet you, and I hope your sister is willing to introduce herself, too.]” He had seemingly smiled at the absurdity of trying to hide behind such a young tree. “[I promise I don’t bite.]” he said in the direction of Castorice. He looked back at Polyxia, “[It’s nice to hear people speak in something other than] Okheman [or] Kremnoan.”

“[You’re from] Kremnos?” She had already been curious, but that curiosity grew further. “[I’m shocked to see anyone from that country here.]”

The guy laughed at that. “[Trust me, I know.]” He adjusted his backpack. “[I was shocked when My mother even allowed me to come here.]” 

Polyxia hummed at that,  and then gestured wildly to her sister to join them,  shouting “[This guy can actually seriously speak Styxia, sister! And he promises he will not bite!]” That last bit got a small laugh out of the guy.

“BUT WHAT IF HE DOES THOUGH?” Her incredibly timid little sister shouted back in Okheman. Castorice had wanted to try to fit in as much as possible, so as to not have people creeped out by randomly speaking words that sounded like a curse was imminent.

“Just get over here already, he’s nice!” She shouted back, much calmer than her sister.

Castorice slowly calmed herself down, Polyxia could see the cogs in her sister turning as she worked up the courage to abandon her terrible hiding place and join her sister.

“Come on!” Polyxia was not above egging her sister on. “There are flowers that move faster than you!”

She smiled when her sister pouted at the poor excuse for an insult before heading over, almost stomping her feet while she did so. (note from author: like little skunk stomps, if you must know how I see this)

“Hello, miss Castorice,” Mydei had bowed towards her sister, “My name is Mydeimos,” and held out a hand to her.

Castorice was blushing, the tips of her pointed ears were bright red. She shakily took his hand to return the handshake. “M-my name is Castorice. Y-you don’t have to call me m-miss.” She stammered the greeting out, which made Polyxia laugh, and Castorice gave her a pout in return.

“Well, anyways,” Polyxia addressed the both of them now. “It was very nice to meet someone who can deftly speak Styxian, and I wonder if you would like to be a friend.” It was more of a statement than a request. “I know very few people who are able to speak it, and the school doesn’t offer courses on it, so the only other person I have to be able to keep in practice with the language is my dear sister.” She pulled out her phone from one of her pockets.

The cadre of boys only now made themselves noticeable, squabbling about how a girl of all things waltzed up to Mydei, all losing their apparent minds at the encounter. ‘And he isn’t running away, that;s fucking fascinating.’

Polyxia almost laughed at the comment that the boy had tried to keep quiet. “I have never seen such a strange reaction from interacting with someone,” gesturing at Mydei’s legion of dudes.

Mydei looked over at them, too. “You guys may as well introduce yourselves.” A look on his face showed a strange irritation before he returned to focusing on the girls in front of him. “They’re weirded out because I usually avoid girls, but not out of any prejudice mind you, only self-preservation.”

Polyxia cocked an eyebrow at that, “how so?”

“[There weren’t too many girls nearby while I was growing up, and these assholes are always giving me shit about it. Seriously, I could kick all of their asses for being rude like this. It isn’t befitting of someone from my homeland.]” He had returned to Styxian, and his guys looked lost.

Polyxia, however, laughed loudly at what he had just said, and tugged on her sister’s shoulder. “[Is it considered just  as rude to speak in languages they don’t understand so you can insult them?]”

“[I pray for the day that they’ll have enough brain cells to know what I say in literally any other language other than my native one and the one for the ‘Holy City’ of] Okhema.” He put a hand on his hip and gestured the guys over, and shouted at them in a language that must have been Kremnoan. “[unknown words x ?]!! [unintelligible words x ?]!” He watched silently as his clown car of friends half-tripped over each other on their way over. “[And they’re the ones who were sent to protect me, can you believe it? Here, I’ll give you my] phone number [so we can keep in touch. It’s nice to have people who are also out of the ordinary like myself.]”

Polyxia laughed loudly while Castorice laughed meekly. “[Sounds good,]” and handed her phone over to Mydei so he could input his contact information.

“[Thanks, What sorts of classes are you in this year?]” He handed her phone back, and she was delighted to see that he used a cute cartoon lion as his contact picture.

“[I’m a bio-chem major while Castorice is an art major.]” She smiled, “[We should all have lunch sometime. Us and your… boys?]” Castorice blushed.

“[I’ll see if I can convince them. They’re the ones afraid of girls, so they might not want to.]” Mydei said, softly smiling. “[I’m here for a lot of reasons, but I’m taking some culinary courses as well as some of the other arts courses, but I haven’t picked a major yet. This is all entirely new to me.]”

They continued their conversation, realizing that they all shared the next course, one on classical literature.

At no point did he even take a questioning look at her wheelchair. At no point did he feel sorry for her. And at no point did he talk like she was an invalid.
She was treated like a human by him and his… body guards? Had she heard that right?

The boys had gotten over the weird fear of the two girls by the time they made it to the class, and one of them had proclaimed an undying loyalty via song to who he had dubbed “the butterfly sisters”. 

“Knock it off, Peucesta.” Mydei sighed, hitting the brunette hard enough that he almost fell over.

So when Mydei had asked if she would help with a project, Polyxia wanted to accept no matter what. He considered her as an equal. He saw her as a smart and capable person.
When he had mentioned it was for her and her sister’s musical talents, she was even more excited. She had not been told that her singing was any good by anyone but her sister until Mydei had encountered the two of them singing to a flock of blackbirds and butterflies by the school’s rose garden, completely unbothered by the chickadee on his shoulder and sparrow on his head. Mydeimos was truly a kind person, despite his tendency to literally throw his friends around like they weighed nothing.

He knew that he never, ever, considered her weak, and didn’t spew bullshit about how “brave” or “strong” she was for merely existing the same way she had her whole life.

She was proud to have the princeling as a friend, and even happier that her sister was comfortable around him.

Finding out he liked men was followed by a day of Castorice going WILD with excitement,  asking if there was anyone who caught his eye in particular.

He had blushed and looked away like he had just been accused of a crime.

“Oh, little princeling has a crush, and I think I can guess who,” Polyxia had taunted him over this for a while, having seen how he looks at the white-haired guy in their shared [mandatory] classes. “Phainon’s a good kid. I heard he got in on scholarship by working his ass off, but he gets shit a lot for it. History major.” She informed Mydei of all that she knew about the tall, shy man known as Phainon who jumped whenever she snuck up on him. They had made fast friends, after all.

Chapter Text

It was orientation day.

He and his merry band of braincells (the Kremnos boys) were in attendance, and while they could read the maps of the campus, Leonnius had managed to get them way beyond lost more than once in the Holy City of Okhema.

Mydei made sure to attend orientation because of this. He watched as Perdikkas kept detailed notes on everything, and sighed when Peucesta tried to flirt with anyone who gave him even a fraction of his time.

At orientation is when he first met Phainon.

The tall man was reserved and wore blue-framed glasses that didn’t suit his face and was clutching his messenger bag like his life depended on it. He had been writing things down as well on the pamphlets they had been handed. His hair was the colour of moonlight, and his eyes were of a colour he rarely saw- a more stunning blue than any jewel. This guy reminded him of the warmth of summer and also of the animals that were inevitably drawn to Mydei.

He wanted to know more.

He needed to know this guy’s name.

He introduced himself at the ‘ice-breaker’ thing that would otherwise have been a waste of time for him, gatherings like that where people are forced to talk to each other and play minigames together are the sort that he tended to avoid. 

But he had heard that laugh, and watched as the strangely shy kid smiled and laughed during the bizarre forced interactions.
He-

His heart beat faster when the guy smiled at him. He felt his face turn red. 

“What do you want?” Mydei said, tone even and unassuming.

“It’s our turn to pair up.” He had simply said.

Mydei’s pulse went haywire as the guy grabbed his hand and pulled him towards whatever dumb game they were supposed to play. He had to focus really hard on whatever it was he was doing so as to not embarrass himself. He didn’t even remember what they did, but he knew that the guy’s laugh and smile would stay with him forever. Even that pout would stay with him.

Before Mydei was even able to introduce himself properly, they had been ushered onto the next thing, and lost sight of the person who just stole his breath away in the best way possible.

“What’s wrong with you?” Perdikkas asked, following Mydei’s gaze. “Oh.” He deadpanned. “Yeah, I don’t know if you’re in his league. He looks like a fucking model or something.”

Mydei glared in response. “I think I’m done here, let me know if there’s anything else I need to know about campus,” he grabbed his jacket from Leonnius’ hands and stormed off. “Why are they always the worst?” He muttered the question to himself and pulled out his phone so he could find his way back to his apartment. No one stopped him. No one even really looked at him. But when people tried to get close, he growled at them. He was irritated.

And he didn’t get the guy’s name.

When he got to his apartment, he locked the door, pressed his back against it and slid down to the floor.

He buried his face in his hands and thought about that smile- that laugh- those eyes…

“Fuck.” He stared at the boxes that were currently strewn about the place. He was only half-unpacked.

He stood up and tried to find his guitars, thankfully his mom had let him bring all of his gear. She may not understand his addiction to music, but she supported him in his pursuit of it at least, not saying that it would ruin his life or anything like his father would have.

He pulled out his pink acoustic guitar and sat on his bed, plucking at the strings to make sure it was still in tune.

He sang quietly to himself, his feelings better expressed through melody than with words alone.

“And your hand, it grabbed mine. The secret to salvation is in your eyes. Though it may not be right, My heart stammers near you. I want to be near you so that I can hear your laugh once more. You made me look into those star-filled eyes, so brilliant like the summer night sky. Captivating me without hesitation.”

He didn’t really think about the words, just the man who inspired them.

“And I didn’t catch your name-”

He was so fucked.

How was he going to see that guy again?

Would that guy even want to be near him and his idiot squad?

Would the guy be scared of him like so many other people?

Would the guy… even care?

He set his guitar down and laid on his bed.

“Mom’s right, I need blackout curtains.” He covered his face with his hand. Despite it being the early afternoon, he decided to just go to bed and deal with the consequences later.

And still, that guy’s laugh lingered even in his dreams.

Chapter Text

It was a week before the campus officially opened for the semester, and he saw the white-haired man purely by chance.

He had made an appointment to see the dean that day, to elucidate the terms of his enrollment. While he genuinely earned his admission to the college, he still had the responsibility that came with his political standing. The dean’s office was located in a separate building, surrounded by a rather impressive garden; he wouldn’t be shocked if there was a maze within it.

He saw the white-haired boy as he was approaching the office, and his eyes widened.

The guy was laying down on a bench in the garden, a hand over his face in an apparent attempt to keep out the sun.

Mydei instinctively hid behind a statue, and tried to get a better look, desperately hoping the buoy was asleep.

He was drawn in by his features, now not being forced into a sudden interaction, he just observed.

The man had iridescent skin that perfectly complimented the silvery-white hair that was sparkling in the sunlight. He was wearing a garish outfit, but he looked like he fell from heaven.

Mydei approached the guy, being careful to not make a sound. He wanted a better look.

Cute pink lips opened slightly, his chest rising and falling with clear indication of him being asleep. Mydei got close enough that he could have touched the guy, he observed the sun that decorated his neck, how he didn’t notice it the other day was beyond him. Perhaps the smile and glittering eyes were entirely too distracting, but the guy was certainly breathtaking, even on a second look.

The guy stirred in his sleep, and Mydei instinctively stepped back and almost retreated to his previous hiding spot, but he was too entranced to take his eyes off the guy. He noticed a book laying on the ground nearby, it was open and had apparently been dropped around the time he fell asleep.

Mydei picked the book up and read the title out loud in a whisper, “As I’ve Written. Huh. There isn’t an author named.” He turned the book over in his hand. “That’s odd.” He moved to place the book gently on the guy’s bag and fought the desire to move errant strands of hair from the guy’s face.

When the guy stirred briefly, Mydei stiffened.

His white-haired angel groggily sat up, and Mydei could only stare. 

‘Eyelashes like feathers.’ Mydei was once again breathless.

“Mnnn,” he rubbed at his eyes. “Hello?”

“Ah, sorry to disturb you, your book fell and I-”

“Oh? My book?” he looked at his empty hand, taking a few moments to realize that the book was in the hands of the guy in front of him. “Cool, you’re reading it too?”

“Um…” Mydei sharply handed the book over to the guy. “This is yours, I found it on the ground,” he looked at the spot on the grass where it had once been. “Right over there.” 

“Oh, thank you,” he reached out to grab the book and flipped through the pages. “My bookmark is missing.” He pouted.

Mydei acted purely on reflex, pulling out something random from his bag and hanging it over, “You can use this, I didn’t see a bookmark on the ground.”

“Mhn, what’s this?” Rubbing his eyes and yawning slightly, he looked at the paper Mydei had handed him, “Thank you.” He stretched slightly, “what time is it?”

Mydei, panicking, looked at hisophone. “Oh [fucking hell], I’m running late! She’s gonna kill me!” Mydei turned to leave.

“Okay, don’t die,” speech was still slow from waking up. “Are you an angel?”

Mydei stopped and turned back towards the guy, shocked by the question.

“You look like one,” a small, sleepy smile greeted him. “You’re so pretty.”

Mydei blinked a few times. “I, I really have to go,” his face burning.

“Okay, see you soon, mister angel.” He returned to reclining on the bench and fell asleep again.

‘TOO FUCKING CUTE, WHAT THE FUCK.’

He ran towards the dean’s office, shoving the experience into his brain like a treasure.

He was so fucking late.

But he didn’t regret the brief distraction.

He also didn’t tell anyone.

Only at the meeting did he realize that the paper he gave the guy was one of the things his mother told him to give to the dean. He had to think of an excuse on the fly for why it wasn’t in his things.

‘Forgive me Leonnius.’ He thought to himself, ‘but you’re the perfect cover.’

And that was the second time Mydei met Phainon.
Phainon wouldn’t remember it though.

Chapter Text

Mydei was excited that he was in the same mandatory classes as the white-haired beauty.

Polyxia, bless her, filled him in on the guy’s name and part of his situation because he zoned out completely whenever the guy talked.

He didn’t sit near him though, opting to sit near the twins and Ptolemy. Ptolemy had actually successfully got through the entrance exam, so he was in actual classes. (Perdikkas and Haephestion were the other two who managed to pass the test.) It was one of the few spaces that could accommodate Polyxia’s chair, so of course he would sit by her. She had already been getting crap from other students for something that wasn’t her choice, and Mydei refused to let that nonsense continue. People started to back off when he practically assigned Ptolemy to help keep those assholes from bothering their mutual friend, and it worked really well. Turns out having a tall Kremnoan is a good deterrent.

Mydei was able to ditch his cadre, and tried to catch up to Phainon, only to hear some assholes around the corner seemingly causing a scene.

When he turned the corner, he watched as Phainon’s glasses had been yanked off his face and dropped to the ground, the guy who accosted him was slinging insults about his scholarship and upbringing. The guy had touched Phainon, and he noticed that claws had drawn blood from Phainon’s cheek. ‘Oh this guy will fucking die.’

Mydei growled when the guy crushed those unflattering blue glasses under his heel, “Can’t fight back, huh? I thought you’d be stronger than that, hick.”

Phainon seemed to shrink at the insult.

So Mydei reacted on instinct. Completely and totally on instinct. “[Don’t you fucking touch him,]” he rushed in and punched the guys face, throwing him to the ground. “[You absolute fucking asshole!]” He pinned the guy to the ground and hit him at least one more time. “[Fucking die.]”

He regained his composure when the guy stopped squirming under him. He stood up and rolled his shoulder.

“Ah, I, um…” Phainon’s face was one of shock, shook his head and asked again, “I had that handled.”

Mydei reached down and grimaced at the state of the glasses, but picked them up and held them out to Phainon. “Are you sure?” He looked at those blue eyes.

Phainon nodded meekly, “Thank you though.”

“It seemed like this [fucking prick] was pulling the same [fucking bullshit] that he always [fucking] does,” he looked down at the guy who was currently unconscious (and bleeding) on the grass. “This school has a zero-tolerance policy for the [harassment of other students].” Mydei held out a hand to Phainon in greeting, it was now or never. “My name is Mydei.” He looked at the blood on his hand, wiped it off on his jeans, and offered the hand again.

The handshake was accepted timidly. “Phainon,” and he paused briefly. “What language is that?”

“Styxian, why?”

“I have never heard anything like it before.”

“Really?” Mydei was seriously taken aback by that. It’s common enough that Phainon should have encountered it by now. ‘How out of the way did he grow up?’

“Yeah.” He looked down at his glasses again, and frowned. “Damn, the frame got mangled.”

“Do you have another pair?” Mydei would have bought him a new pair that day. As many pairs as Phainon needed.

“No, I don’t really need them,” a sigh left his lips, “my grandfather got these for me though, and it kind of sucks that I managed to get them broken less than a week into the semester.”

“[Of course they are precious like that…],” Mydei grumbled under his breath in Aidonian. “Well, whatever the case, you should get that cut looked at.”

“Cut?”

“Your face, [my angel].”

Phainon put a hand up to his face and pulled it away quickly. “What the heck?”

The blonde made a sound similar to a choked laugh. “[This asshole] has [fucking] claws, I swear. [Fucking] dragons,” furrowing his brows. “Do you know where any of the nurse’s offices are?”

“No?” Shook his head, hair fluttering across his brow.

“Okay, I’ll show you.” Mydei turned quickly so as to hide the fact he was definitely blushing at the way Phainon had looked at him. ‘I’m going to die, he’s so cute.’

He started walking, paused for a moment to acknowledge that he was being followed, and smiled at the sound of Phainon running slightly to catch up.

Mydei’s heart was beating fast, and it took all of his restraint to not stop and stare at Phainon, wipe the blood away, or anything to make direct contact with that beautiful skin.

Chapter Text

“Man, that boy has got bossman whipped.” Perdikkas said, leaning back against the wall in their shared apartment. “Is he gonna be okay, you think?”

Leonnius grunted out an affirmation from their sofa. “Lord Mydeimos can handle himself just fine.”

“I know he can, but I'm worried he might spiral.” Perdikkas was tapping his foot on the ground. “I'm happy he found inspiration again, but he's so laser-focused on Phainon that its borderline psychosis.”

“Love isn't a psychosis,“ Haphaestion said from his corner on the floor. “Obsession is, but what he's got going is much deeper than…”

“I get you, so you think it's genuine love?” Peucesta cut him off before Haphaestion was able to spiral into his weird ‘I got horribly shot down by Mydei’ brainrot.

“Probably.”

“I honestly think bossman might seriously be in love.” Perdikkas rubbed at his temple. “He can't even talk right in front of the guy half the time.”

Ptolemy took a sip of his tea. “All signs lead to romance.” He didn't look at the other guys when he spoke, his tone calm and composed. “He keeps changing the lyrics to that song he's working on, but it's stayed more or less the same since day one.” He tapped his fingers on his cup. “Besides, they have that vibe. I've seen how that Phainon kid looks at him, too.” He swirled his tea. “I think it's mutual,  but I'm not gonna get between them. I would honestly rather eat your cooking, Peucesta.”

Peucesta made an overly exaggerated noise and mimed being mortally wounded. “You wound me, Ptolemy!" Knowing full well how many times he has accidentally used a soapy pan to make food. (Entirely too many, if you care to know)

Ptolemy finished his tea, “at least he has real friends now, not just us.”

Peucesta mimed another death blow, “oh, how you wound me! Surely you believe our friendship with Mydei is real!”

Ptolemy looked at the theater dropout, “No, we are his friends, he just has other friends now, too. Ones that weren’t originally ordered to be his friends by his mother.” He sighed deeply.

Perdikkas nodded, “Yeah, it’s good to see him having fun. Kind of a breath of fresh air.” He pushed himself off the wall and stretched. “He’s focused, and has people other than us and his mom who care about him without knowing what he has sitting on his shoulders.”

Leonnius cracked his knuckles, not for a threat, but because it was just something he did. “I’m happy that he wants us to enjoy our time here, too.” He stretched his neck as if readying himself for a fight. “And if we find dates too, all the better, right Ptolemy?” He sent a wicked grin towards Ptolemy.

Ptolemy poured himself another cup of tea. “My love life is none of your business, and honestly neither is Lord Mydei’s,” taking another sip of tea. “We are here to make sure no one tries to hurt him, but he's handling himself better than we seem to be.”

Perdikkas nodded. “Yeah, that’s true.” He looked at Ptolemy who was smiling lightly into his tea, “I just want him to be able to smile openly,” he headed to their kitchen, “I’m gonna have a bite and then head to bed. I’ve got an early course tomorrow, and I don’t want to fall behind.” He laughed lightly to himself, “It’s crazy how much knowledge is available outside of Kremnos, and this language- Okheman- has so much more potential than I thought.”

“Yeah, that’s very true. Everything about this place seems leagues beyond what we have back home.” Ptolemy, “there is so much I want to learn here, and I am looking forward to being able to continue my studies without worrying about Mydei.”

“Bossman can handle himself… probably.”

“Can you stop calling him that?”

“Nah, it’s fun to say.”

“You’re insane.”

“Not as bad as Peucesta.”

“HEY!”

[Their conversation petered out before they all got tired and went to bed. Peucesta was forced, once again, to sleep on the sofa for his antics.]

Chapter Text

She met Mydei in much the same way that Polyxia and Castorice had, her interest piqued at the fact that someone somewhere was shouting in perfect Aidonian, and she had to rush over to see who it was.

Turns out it was a very pretty blonde who was clearly from Kremnos. Having lived with a family of Physicians, she had encountered several in her life before that moment, but never had she heard one speak so clearly in a language as opposite of Kremnoan as Aidonian.

She almost died laughing when she heard what the guy was shouting: strings of insults that would make a sailor’s mom blush, all of them perfectly phrased.

When he had finished cussing someone out, she noticed that he had been acting to protect someone from being harassed, a girl in a wheelchair with short violet hair. She bounced over to the odd pair, and heard the blonde asking if the girl was alright but in Styxian.

‘Wow, a guy who can just switch like it’s nothing. Neat!’ She loudly introduced herself, “Hello there! I couldn’t help but notice your flawless use of Aidonian, and just had to say hello!” She held out a hand to the now confused blonde. “My name is Hyacinthiya! I’m a med student here!”

The blonde returned the handshake after a brief moment, he had seemed in shock that someone would be that chipper about something so otherwise minor. “I’m Mydei.” He almost sounded shy.

Hyacine couldn’t help but giggle at his nervousness. “And who might you be, miss lovely lady?” She turned and smiled at the girl in the wheelchair.

“My name is Polyxia.” She bowed her head and reached out a hand to greet Hyacine. “I’m a bio-chem major.” A soft smile graced her lips.

Hyacine giggled, “I would like to be your friend! Both of you, if that’s alright. I am happy to meet anyone who can speak things other than Okheman, especially when they cuss up a storm like that!”

Mydei looked slightly shell-shocked at her barrage of excitement. “Sure?” He responded almost meekly. He probably wasn’t used to someone like Hyacine. (We all know how Peucesta is, so he’s more than familiar with Hyacine’s energy level.) He pulled out his phone, and handed it to her after opening the contacts page.

“Oh, you know Phainon too?”

Mydei almost froze on the spot. “I tutor him in Kremnoan.” Hyacine saw the blonde blush at that, and she smiled wider as she input her own information, selecting a fat unicorn as her icon. “H-y-a-c-i-n-e, that’s how I put my name in here, Hyacine is easier and less formal. I’m the unicorn!” She handed his phone back. “But I’m glad that Phainon has friends! When he showed up at campus a month ago, he looked like a lost puppy, and he didn’t know anyone. I was here because I was helping out the dean and the head nurse with stuff. I think I may have been his first friend in Okhema!”

She met Phainon while she was helping out Miss Cerydra and Miss Hysilins.

She herself had arrived at the campus early for the year because she was invited to apprentice under Miss Hysilins, an offer which she happily took. She had also been offered a position with Professor Anaxagoras, but she turned his offer down by pretending that she never received it, rumors about the guy were notoriously horrifying.

She encountered Phainon as he was exiting Miss Cerydra’s office about a week before classes started, when he accidentally dropped the things he had been carrying, which included a very old laptop and a handful of books right onto the lawn. She rushed over to help him pick them up and carry them to wherever he was headed next, which he had reluctantly accepted.

“Sorry Miss Cerydra, I’m going to help, uh,” she paused, looking at the very tall white-haired boy.

“Phainon, my name is Phainon,” he responded sheepishly, adjusting his ill-fitting glasses slightly.

“I’m going to help Phainon and be right back, okay?”

“Very well.” Cerydra allowed this because Hyacine was early, as usual, to their meeting. “My schedule is open today, so you don’t need to rush, just make sure he gets where he needs to be.”

“Thank you, Miss Cerydra.” Hyacine bowed slightly and looked at Phainon, still holding a pile of his things in her arms. “Where are you headed?”

Phainon scratched the back of his head, and laughed a little. “I’ve got to find the dorms. It’s my first time outside of Aedes Elysiae, so a place this big and crowded is a lot,” he said, very honestly. “Miss Cerydra was going to actually call someone over to help me find the place, but I didn’t want to bother anyone.” He seemed to not want to look at her.

“My name’s Hyacine! This is my third year here, so I’ve got no problem helping you out!” She began to lead the way, and he followed at a reasonable distance.

Phainon nodded, “You don’t have to carry my things, though.”

“Oh, tish-tosh, I don’t mind helping out a fellow student in need!” She waved her free hand nonchalantly. “Besides, you seem like you would be interesting to hang out  with~🎶”

“Sure… okay then.” He acquiesced to her gung-ho nature.

“So what are you here to study?” She asked, turning back to look at him.

“I’m probably going to end up with Amphorean History as my major, but I’m still unsure.” The question seemed to calm him down somewhat.

“Is there a reason that you’re studying history, or are you just a curious soul?” She asked, radiating sunshine with every word.

“I guess I’m just excited and want to learn as much as I can.” He smiled softly. “It’s my first time having such unlimited access to anything. We didn’t really have much where I grew up. I even had to teach myself things to be able to pass the entrance exams.”

“Oh man, that’s really cool! You must be incredibly dedicated to your pursuits then!”

“Yeah, I… still don’t know how to use the phone I got though; the only fancy piece of tech we really had was a pretty massive computer that made sounds like it was dying, any time I tried to get work done. It’s insane how fast and quietly things run here.”

“Wow, really a kid from the sticks, ain’t’chya?”

“Is- is that a problem?”

“Nah. It just means that you have the sort of perseverance that a lot of kids don’t have.” She smiled, “Did you have lunch yet? If you haven’t yet, there’s a nice cafe nearby that we can take a break at!”

“But Miss Cerydra-”

“Ah, she said her schedule was open, so I can always see her later.” She laughed, “I want to help you figure out your phone, and then add my contact information so you can ask me for help whenever you need it!”

“If you’re sure…”

“It’s not a problem, let’s go eat!” She held a fist in the air like she had achieved something major.

Phainon laughed at this and joined in her celebration. “Yeah, let’s eat.”

Chapter Text

The teacher strode into the room, ten whole minutes late. It was their first day of class, and the teacher was late.

The teacher slammed whatever he had in his hands down on his desk in the front of the room, and didn’t look up when he started speaking, his voice entirely too deep for his small frame.

“Open your books to page 247, we are starting with ‘The Divestment of Humanity from Theology’.”

“This isn’t humanities sir,” one student piped up.

“IT IS WHAT I SAY IT IS. YOU’RE IN MY CLASS, I TEACH WHAT I TEACH. GET OVER IT OR LEAVE.” He still didn’t look up at the students, but turned to write on the board behind him. Ignoring the response from the students behind him, he wrote ‘Humans versus Gods’ on the chalkboard in one spot, and then moved to another, where he wrote out his name, larger than the session’s apparent subject. “My name is Professor Anaxagoras. If you do not address me as such, I reserve every right to kick you out of my class and leave you without the credit for this course.”

The students were murmuring disbelief behind him.

“IF YOU INTERRUPT ME, I WILL ALSO FAIL YOU.”

The class fell silent.

He turned around and walked back to his desk before looking up at the students.

He had mint-green hair and only one eye, the other covered by an oddly ornate eyepatch.

One brave student raised their hand.

“Out with it.” He sharply addressed the student.

“What book are we supposed to use?”

“The one I fucking wrote.” He glared at the student as if he was just asked the most preposterous thing in the world. “Now, because you’re so delightfully cavalier, I would like to have you explain to the class why this topic is the first thing I choose to cover.”

“But I-”

“OF COURSE YOU DON’T KNOW.” He turned, his jacket twirling behind him as he strode up to the board once again. “In my class, you do what I instruct. You learn what I teach. There is no syllabus. There is no room to breathe. You either learn or you leave.” He wrote every sentence as he spoke them, handwriting barely legible. “So if I say that we are talking about Gods and Mortals, then I teach about Gods and Mortals.” He spun to face the class again. His eye narrowed as he honed in on one specific student. “You, Kremnoan boy,” he pointed the stick of chalk in his hand at Mydei.

Mydei just sat there, looking at his very… eccentric SCIENCE teacher.

“Acknowledge that I’ve addressed you.”

“[You’re kidding, right?]” Mydei responded in Styxian by habit. He really, really didn’t like this teacher already.

“[I’m not kidding, child.]” Anaxa responded in Pyrian, clearly assuming that Mydei could understand him. “[You will speak when addressed, and you will speak in Okheman.]”

The class was silent, but watched the two converse as it was the most interesting thing they had ever seen.

“[Maybe if you considered teaching science instead of theological debates, I would consider it.]” Mydei responded in Janusian. “[I didn’t come here to learn that bullshit. Not in this class, anyway.]”

“[What, pray tell, did you come here for if not to learn?]” The response was in Aidonian.

“[I’m here to learn about physics and science, you absolute ass of a teacher.]” Mydei responded in Kremnoan, his voice remained even through their small conflict.

Anaxagoras smiled with glee at the conversation. “[Finally, someone who can put words together in the right order! But Science is the study of everything, and within everything there is the discussion for if gods should or should not exist!]” He cackled. “And so everyone is aware, since you’re all staring at me like fools, this class will contain the kinds of thought experiments where science can be derailed by such pitiful constructs as gods.”

Mydei scoffed at that.

A knock at the classroom door happened moments before it opened. Through the door walked a taller girl with silver hair and cat ears. “Greetings, class! Sorry I’m late! Is Anaxa being a little bitch?” She walked over to the chalkboard and wrote ‘Cipher’ in clearer handwriting than anything Anaxagoras had written. “I’m the TA for this monster’s class! I’m here to keep him from disemboweling you and make sure he keeps focused!” Her voice was entirely too chipper for the situation. She took an eraser to the nonsense the professor had written on the board, making a show of erasing the ‘goras’ part of his name in the process. “I brought the syllabus, Prof, so I’m going to hand those out now. You need to follow it this year or else you will get fired.” She started handing out the small packets of paper, signaling to have the students pass them down the row. She glared at the one-eyed man who looked like he was about to explode from the interruption. “Miss Cerydra guaranteed it, and I have the written version of her words right here.” She handed an envelope to him and watched as he tore it open, read it quickly, and then tore it in half.

“AN EMBUGGERANCE!” He yelled. “SHE HAS NO RIGHT!”

Mydei wondered if this was less of a class and more of a comedy show at this point.

“I’ve got multiple copies, if you want me to hand them out along with the syllabus, I can.” She held up a stack of identical envelopes. “I have more than this, too.”

“Tch.” Anaxa crossed his arms in reluctant acceptance of the restriction placed upon him. “Fine.” He turned to look at the students once again. “Psychics. Something that is useful only if it applies to you. Which, for most of you, it does.” His voice was bitter. “On page ten of the textbook, you will find a definition of Physics that  suggests that there are laws defining it, which could not be further from the truth. If there is a law of nature, there will always be an exception to that law.” His eye swept the class. “You, white haired boy,” he pointed at Phainon now. (Mydei still didn’t know his name at this point, I’m using it because of narrative reasons.)

Phainon bolted upright. “Yes Professor Anaxa?”

“IT’S ANAXAGORAS.” He barked back. “Explain to me why it’s possible that the laws of physics are breakable.”

“Because we live in a world where gods walk among us and can bend the world to the degree of their ability to choose.” The response was calm, and didn’t show the slightest bit of hesitation.

“WRONG! It’s because Gods and Mortals co- WAIT.” Anaxa narrowed his stare at Phainon. “You got that right. HOW?”

“I studied?” The response was meek. “How else would I have gotten into the school?”

“FINE.”

‘This guy is unhinged,’ Mydei couldn’t help but think, looking at the teacher. ‘Or rather, did he have hinges to begin with?’ Mydei doubted that to be the case, but he was still caught off guard by the teacher’s antics.

“YOU THEN,” Anaxa pointed towards a blonde in the front row. “EXPLAIN WHAT THAT MEANS.”

“Uh-” the student was sweating, trying to find the answer in the text on page ten. “It-it doesn’t say.”

“USE YOUR BRAIN.”

“B-but I-”

“ARE YOU AN IDIO-” suddenly something hit the teacher hard, derailing his abuse completely.

“What he means to say is ‘Thank you for being able to read the text and realize that what I’m talking about isn’t relevant to this course at this time.’” Cipher spoke flatly, a sinister smile on her face, “Never let this guy fool you, he is supposed to follow the syllabus, and if he doesn’t, he gets shit-canned.”

Polyxia, seated to Mydei’s left, snorted at the comment. This got a glare from the teacher, but a smile from the TA.

The class didn’t make much progress that day.

Chapter Text

Mydei looked at the screen again, tilting his head in confusion.

“It really sucks that the program doesn’t have good instrument selection… But at least I can record it personally. I just need to rent the space.” He closedd his eyes, tapping his fingers on the desk in concentration. “I kind of want to ask Cipher to be the drummer for this, though. She’s… got more energy and sounds less forced. But am I willing to pay her price…” He furrowed his brow at the thought. “She just might.” He saved the individual tracks converted into .mp3s, and made a copy of just the drum’s sheet music, with a much less awkward song title than the one he planned on using in the end, because ‘Strangle Me’ would be an awkward file name for the overly-excitable girl to find… she would make really bizarre assumptions about him if he did; he knew that from the depth of his being.

Mydei: Hey, Cipher. I have a question for you.

Cipher: What’s up, my guy?

Mydei: I was wondering what you thought of this drum track.

Cipher: Drum track?

Mydei: Yes. Don’t lie like you don’t know what I’m talking about.

Mydei: I’m wondering if you can play it or if it needs changing.

Cipher: You know I can’t do an appraisal on just the drums alone, right?

Cipher: You need to actually include the other parts of the song.

Cipher: What class is this for, anyway?

Mydei: Not for a class, for my band.

Mydei: I’ll send it to you, but no lyrics yet. I haven’t finished that part yet.

Cipher: You have a band?

Cipher: That’s shocking.

Mydei: Not really, I don’t think.

Cipher: What’s in it for me?

Mydei: Standard industry wage.

Cipher: Wait, you’d be paying me?

Mydei: Of course, I’m not an asshole.

Mydei: So do hyou want to look it over or not?

Cipher: Send it over, pretty boy.

Mydei: [file]

Mydei: I’m not in a major rush on it.

Mydei: [file]

Mydei: [file]

Mydei: Though if you want to replace my current drummer, who is kind of a fucking idiot, I would be happy to have you.

Mydei: I can send you some of our other music, too.

Mydei: Please at least consider the offer.

Cipher: Hold on, I’m listening to the track.

Cipher: …

Cipher: This isn’t terrible.

Mydei: But?

Cipher: There’s no energy here.

Cipher: I can help you.

Cipher: 1.5 standard wage, and I won’t tell people you sent me a file called StrangleMe-ver57.mp3, deal?

Mydei’s forehead hit the table hard. He didn’t intend to send that one.

Mydei: Deal.

Mydei: Drums are the one thing I can’t do myself.

Mydei: Thank you.

Cipher: Thank you for your business, I look forward to working with you.

Mydei: No need to be formal.

Cipher: Okay, sure, prince.

Cipher: Whatever.

Cipher: As long as I get paid, then I don’t care.

Mydei: Let me know your schedule and we can work on this.

Mydei: Just don’t tell Peucesta or Perdikkas.

Mydei: They’ll kill me.

Mydei: Or at least they’ll try to.

Chapter Text

Cipher sat in his chair, “This is some sweet setup you got, kiddo.” She tapped on the desk, moving the mouse to click on the opened sheet music and recording software. “I’ll have to bring over my midi drum kit later. That’s gonna help a lot, I think.”

Mydei felt slightly embarrassed, at least his bedroom door was locked. ‘This girl could worm her way into anything, I swear.’ He sighed. “You can see why I’m frustrated though?”

“Yeah, this is one hell of a love song.” She looked up at him. “Didn’t know you had it in you. Who’s it for?”

“That, I’m not telling.”

“Awwww, come on! You’re sneaking behind your band’s back, asking your Science TA for help, and not sharing the details? That’s so laaaaaaaame.”

“If it makes you feel better, Polyxia and Castorice already agreed to do the backup vocals.”

Her ears perked up at that. “You really got those beauties to help?”

“Yeah, it wasn’t hard.” He broke from her gaze, trying to fight the flushing of his cheeks. “Turns out if you treat people like humans they accept you as a human in return.”

She gave a wicked grin. “So it isn’t for a girl, then.” She could read him easily, he knew that much. “Oooooh, oh! I know who it’s for!” Her smile somehow got wider.

Mydei tried not to respond.

“Its for the kid who actually read Anaxa’s book, isn’t it?” Teeth now visible in her devious grin. “It’s for the white-haired boy,” she stared at him “It’s for Phainon, isn’t it?”

Mydei couldn’t hide his embarrassment now. He felt his face and body flush with the heat of the realization that he was clearly not hiding his feelings towards Phainon well enough.

“Does he even know your name?”

“Of course he does!” Mydei’s reaction was entirely too quick, and then followed up by a flustered and more quiet voice, “I tutor him in Kremnoan.”

Cipher cackled at that information. “How much of this stereotype do you fit into?” She looked back at the screen, “You’re like a damned Hallmark Movie.”

Mydei bristled at the comment. “I-”

She started fussing with the sheet music. “You don’t have to hide it from me. I’m gonna focus on this for the moment.”

Any trace of fight Mydei had to defent himself right then deflated with the honesty that Cipher put forth.

“I’m going to tweak this a bit. You said you’re guitar and lead vocals, yes?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I hear your singing voice then?” She kept tapping away at the program. “That will change some things here, and since you didn’t originally give me your vocal track, I’m gonna have to hear it directly from you.” She didn’t look at him when she spoke.

“Yeah, I can do that for you.” He kept himself from stammering. “What part should I sing for you?”

She scrolled through the sheet music and pointed at the section where the tempo first changes. “Start here.” She scrolled down to the last tempo change. “And end here.”

“You sure? That’s the beginning of the screaming parts.”

“Yes.”

“Only if you’re sure.”

“Yes.”

“You want me to do the screaming or just speak the lines.”

“Scream them. I need to know EXACTLY what you’re putting into this.”

“Can you start a stanza earlier then?”

“Sure.”

Mydei cleared his throat,

“You saved me

You told me!

You held my hand

With the dirt coated in blood

Anger, hatred, putrid no love-

The battle can never be won”

“-Your sadness and your darkness it burned-” He finished the section he was asked to do and then drank some water immediately after.

“Thats an impressive set of pipes, my guy.” She didn’t even look at him as she looked at the music, altering certain tracks to match his voice better. “These lyrics go hard. The sheet music doesn’t hit that at all. I’m glad I had you sing it for me.”

“Thanks?”

‘Not a problem.” She stretched her hands in front of her and cracked her knuckles. “Now let’s fix this monster.

Mydei had four different versions of the track by the end of the day. Now he just had to ask Polyxia and Castorice which version they preferred.

Then all he could do was wait.

Chapter Text

Phainon stood in contemplative silence as he watched the blonde from a distance. He was being tutored, yes, but he really wanted to ask Mydei out on a date, but he didn’t know if that would be too forward or presumptuous of him. The study sessions had been at Phainon’s dorm or at the library, but he really wanted to bring Mydei to that cafe that Hyacine had introduced him to. He thought the cat-shaped treats were perfect for Mydei. The fact that they had cupcakes decorated to look like cats and dogs made him smile when he first saw them, but even more now that he had met Mydei.

The guy was essentially a cat, he could fall asleep anywhere and seemed apprehensive to the same degree as a cat who didn’t know someone well enough to trust completely.

He found that adorable.

He also wanted to have Mydei be more comfortable around him.

On one occasion, Polyxia had expressed that Mydei loved sweets and food, so Phainon really wanted to cater to that.

He consistently made sure to bring candy when Mydei was helping him. He even went out of his way to make sure there were cookies and cupcakes every now and then.

But right now, he was sheepishly watching Mydei talk with his group of friends that he had yet to properly introduce himself to, almost waiting to be called over, but he didn’t want to intrude if he could help it. So he just waited and hoped Mydei would see him. (Author note: Like a coward)

He sat on a bench to make it look less like he was loitering for no reason, and pulled out the book Cyrene had given him before he left home, ‘As I've Written’, complete with a bookmark of folded paper with what he eventually learned was Kremnoan on it. He never figured out where it came from, but he kept it with the book anyway. He did only know a handful of people who could read it without needing a dictionary. He doubted it came from their science teacher, he was pretty sure that the Kremnoan teacher didn't give it to him, that wouldn't have made sense. So that narrowed it down to seven people that he could think of, and Miss Cerydra wasn't likely to have given him such a formal looking letter.

But he didn't want to ask the other six, because that would mean asking Mydei directly if he knew where the paper had come from and what it said. He really, really didn't want to do that. It was handwritten, so he had a hard time identifying it as Kremnoan in the first place, the handwriting was really fancy for such a hard-edged language.

He was engrossed in the book again, he had reached the part about the Earth Titan, and he almost didn't hear the voice that called to him.

“-ainon?”

Phainon looked up with a snap. It was Mydei.

Mydei was in front of him.

Beautiful, perfect Mydei, dressed in black pants, red shirt, black jacket, and golden necklace; his beautiful, golden-eyed Mydei was talking to him.

“Hello!” He snapped the book shut, forgetting to place the bookmark (he would realize that later), and tried to still his hammering heart. “How are you, Mydei?” He squeaked, much to his shame.

Mydei tugged on the collar of his own jacket, looking to the side as he laughed slightly. “You good?”

“Yeah.” How could he not be good with Mydei right there in front of him?

“Did you wanna hang out? We're not busy,” Mydei paused briefly, “I suppose I haven't introduced you to the guys.” He looked flustered.

Internally, Phainon was screaming. Finally! Finally Mydei wanted to introduce his weird friends! Phainon stood up entirely too quickly, causing a brief bout of vertigo. “Yeah, I'm available.” He blinked at what he had said. “I mean, I'm free, I've got nothing going on.”

Mydei gave a half laugh at that.

‘Oh god I hope he didn't think I meant- but- wait- no- I am available. For him and him alone!’ Phainon's mind was doing cartwheels over the flub he made, and he covered it with a cough into his elbow. (If only he knew.)

“Alright, come on then,” Mydei's smile was like the heavens opened up and made the divine real in his presence.

Phainon hurriedly gathered his things. “Where are we going?”

“To this café around the corner,” Mydei said, and led the way.

“Oh! I like that café!” Phainon practically skipped after Mydei now. 

“Really?” Mydei sheepishly replied, not looking directly at Phainon. “[Unknown words×?],” he mumbled under his breath.

“What was that?”

“Well, I'll introduce you to the guys when we get there, they headed off first.”

Phainon resisted every single temptation to grab Mydei's hand, oh god it was probably very soft, he wanted to touch those hands, wanted those hands on his face- oh how he needed to stop that train of thought, he was spiraling into his fantasies about Mydei and how badly he wanted to hold the blonde. He wanted to be the focus of Mydei's affection. ‘Please, please, Mnestia, let him feel the same way-’

He had no idea how spot on he was about that.

Meeting the guys went over well, and he absolutely didn't make a fool of himself telling Mydei that the kitty cookies looked like him. He absolutely didn't do that. Yeah. He didn't.

Chapter Text

Phainon sat in the corner booth, and was trying to remain calm. Keywords being “trying to”.

To his left, blocking him in from getting out of the booth, was Mydei, and to his right was a very apprehensive guy with platinum blonde hair who didn’t seem to enjoy Phainon’s company.

The introductions went over pretty well, all things considered.

Peucesta was the obnoxious one who flirted with anything that had a pulse and was capable of speech.

Ptolemy was the one who hung around Polyxia all the time and seemed really well read.

Perdikkas was kind of a smartass, but that wasn’t too bad.

Leonnius was gruff and looked like he was ready to throw a car across the parking lot with little to no reason or warning. ‘He’d be fun to arm wrestle,’ was what Phainon thought.

He knew Polyxia and Castorice, and he was mourning that he wasn’t seated next to either of them instead of this weird guy who seemed to be seething with some weird hatred towards him that he couldn’t quite pin down.

‘Haphaestion, that’s his name.’ Phainon wanted to excuse himself if only to be out of this guy’s line of sight.

He also didn’t know what to order, and was dumb enough to forget his wallet, which he discovered while he was on his way to the café, and felt terrible mentioning it, but Mydei had seen his distress and offered to pay for the meal for him. He even offered with a smile.

Phainon didn’t see him smiling much around anyone else. Was Mydei’s smile just for him? He really hoped it was.

Mydei also wouldn’t let him refuse the offer of his food being covered. Phainon found the way he had practically whispered the sentiment to be entirely too adorable to refuse.

Was Mydei flustered around him? That would be crazy. Impossible, even!

He settled on having just a small snack, not wanting to drain Mydei’s finances horribly, so he only ordered water and some cookies, which Mydei didn’t accept as food, and ordered him a proper food with sides, not even bothering to ask his preferences.

Phainon was looking at his hands nervously, unsure of what to even talk about. He didn’t have other kids his age back home, not really. Cyrene wasn’t like these kids, either, so he barely counted her.

He could talk about cows? Should he talk about cows? WOULD HE TALK ABOUT COWS?

He prayed to Oronyx that he wouldn’t and that if he did that Oronyx would rewind time enough for him to not talk about cows.

“What’s got you so focused there, Phai?” Castorice asked, tilting her head slightly.

“Cows?” Shit.

“Cows?” Ptolemy raised an eyebrow. “Why are you thinking about cows?” 

Phainon laughed meekly and tried to maintain a calm smile. “I grew up on a farm in a small town, and there were no other kids my age except Cyrene and I was worried that all I had that would be interesting to talk about would be cows.” The words spilled out of his face entirely too quickly, and he hoped that no one caught the awkwardness of it all.

To his left, he heard Mydei half choke on his drink with a choked laugh. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh.” 

‘If it's you laughing, you can laugh at me all day and night. I'd never get tired of it.’ Phainon thought immediately, but immediately tucked that thought onto a shelf in his brain and tried to not go there for the moment. “It’s fine, I’m just not that interesting, that’s all.” He was harsh on himself. But he also knew how people looked at him with strange bewilderment and jealousy over his test scores coupled with his middle-of-nowhere hometown that barely got dial up internet. 

Mydei nudged his shoulder, causing him to look directly into shining, golden eyes.

“It’s more interesting than you give it credit for.” Mydei’s voice was a dream, and it was complimenting him? “Most of the people around here don’t know the meaning of a hard day's work.” The soft laugh that escaped Mydei’s mouth made Phainon feel faint. Briefly. Very briefly.

“I wouldn’t say that, everyone has their own opinion of what ‘hard work’ entails.” Phainon could only respond with. “For me, it was studying and helping out my folks, but for someone else it could just be waking up in the morning and making sure they eat something.”

Mydei stared at him, pupils dilating like a cat who is watching something interesting. His mouth opened slightly. Phainon swore that time had stopped completely for a moment. He definitely didn’t hear anything around him, his pulse drowning everything out. “That’s very…” Mydei said finally, “That’s very kind of you. Not many people see the world that way.”

(What Phainon and Mydei missed is that the rest of their entourage absolutely saw what just happened. They all understood so quickly that these two boys were absolutely besotted over each other. Leonnius had apparently hit Peucesta so he wouldn’t say anything.)

Their tension was broken by the waitress bringing over the first trays of food, to which Mydei immediately looked away from Phainon’s eyes and directed his attention towards her.

Phainon wasn’t jealous. Nope. He wasn’t jealous at all.

Mydei helped hand out the food because the table was too awkwardly shaped for the waitress to be able to reach the back of the table.

Phainon didn’t really even react right away when Mydei’s jacket hit him in the face, his reaction delayed by the smell of cinnamon and apples. Mydei smelled like apple pie? Weird.

He was more puzzled by the smell of pie than the ‘getting whapped in the face with a jacket’ part of the moment.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to hit you.” Mydei apologized quickly.

“I like pie, it’s fine.” The response was sudden and made him freeze on the spot. ‘What am I saying!? There’s no pie at the table! Oh my god. Strike me down and leave me to die. I can't believe I made a comment about the smell of his clothes and not a simple “That’s okay, it happens”, oooooh my gooooooood.’ 

Mortified. 

He was mortified.

He also hoped dearly that no one heard him.

He didn’t see how Mydei reacted to the comment, he wanted to focus on the food that Mydei had set in front of him.

Pancakes with hashbrowns and bacon, and a mug of hot chocolate with whipped cream, and some of those cat-shaped cookies he had ordered before Mydei insisted on actual food. “Thank you,” he said quietly and proceeded to wait for someone else to start eating before he did. It didn’t take long, thankfully.

Mydei’s food was almost identical to Phainon’s, except a strawberry milkshake was present instead of cookies.

‘Cute.’ Phainon grabbed a slice of his own bacon and took a bite to keep himself from staring... especially when Mydei seemed to melt at the food he was eating. ‘Is it normal for people to make sounds like that while eating? Surely that can’t be legal.’ So he worked on his own food. Working hard to not pay attention to how Mydei drowned his pancakes in raspberry syrup and the thought of that syrup staining Mydei’s lips and- ‘NOPE. NOT THE TIME.’ He would have slapped his own face if it were any other situation.

His brain drowned out the surrounding conversation as he continued eating, trying desperately to not think about Mydei’s reaction to good food.

“It looks like you, doesn’t it?” He heard his own mouth say in response to a question he didn’t recall hearing. He was talking about the cookie. About how the cookies looked like Mydei. This was bad.

‘Abort.'

'ABORT.'

'RUN AWAY.'

'GO CRAWL INTO THE SEWER.'

'SAVE YOURSELF AND YOUR DIGNITY, PHAINON.’

Self preservation was trying to make that error disappear or to make him find a way to repent for the words that crawled out of his mouth.

“Yeah? The dog ones look like you. So I guess that makes us even.” Mydei’s cool-headed reply struck Phainon in the heart, especially since he took a bite out of the cookie Phainon was holding up to him after tucking hair behind his ear. “These taste good too,” he said after swallowing his bite.

Phainon’s brain was fried.

‘Did Mydei just eat out of my hand? DID MYDEI JUST EAT MY COOKIE WITHOUT ASKING? I’m not complaining but whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat.’

Mydei wiped a crumb off his lips and licked it off his thumb. “Yeah, these cookies are awesome.”

(Phainon did not notice how everyone was staring at Mydei’s brazen act. Why would he notice when all of his attention was on the lion next to him? He even didn’t notice the sharp intakes of air from Castorice and Peucesta, full of understanding at Mydei’s action.)

“That was mine,” he forced out.

“I paid for it,” Mydei replied calmly. “I can take it all if you want.”

(He didn’t hear Castoricce and Peucesta’s reaction to this, if he had, he would have died.)

“No, I’ll eat it.” Phainon ate the rest of the confection, and watched Mydei give a sly smile.

“[Unknown words x ?]” Mydei said, eyes focused on Phainon.

Now he heard Castorice sputter, which grabbed his attention. “[Unknown words x????]” She responded to Mydei in the same language. “[Unknown words x ???????]”

“[Unknown words x ?]” Polyxia responded coolly.

Mydei laughed at that, waving his hand as if to dismiss the words said by the two girls. “[Unknown words x ?]” He responded with that and a chuckle, still not taking his eyes off of Phainon. 

“Don’t you know it’s rude to speak in languages that the people in your company don’t understand?” The platinum-haired guy to his right said in a dead flat tone.

‘Haphaestion. That’s his name.’ Phainon was suddenly very interested in his hot chocolate, and didn’t want to interact with anyone or anything else at that moment. He didn’t know why, but whatever Mydei said had felt really weird, and the way the sisters reacted was beyond strange.

“No harm, no foul,” Polyxia responded to Haphaestion’s complaint with ease. “Besides, you probably don’t want to know what Cass said.” She sent a strange look at her sister who turned bright red. “She said something even I wouldn’t dare repeat.”

That comment made Castorice intently focus on her own beverage.

Phainon was admittedly quite curious at what just happened, but he tried to ignore it. Key word being “tried’. He laughed awkwardly.

Mydei laughed again. “You sure I can’t have the other one?”

“Go for it.” Phainon responded quietly.

“Here, fair’s fair.” He held out the cookie to Phainon, to which Phainon just stared at it. “Go on, take a bite.” Mydei waved the cookie like he was challenging him.

Phainon grabbed his wrist, “I can’t if you keep moving it!” And then took a bite, only realizing that he had grabbed Mydei’s wrist after the fact, and feeling his face heat up, especially seeing the blonde’s grin.

(He definitely didn’t notice Polyxia taking a photo of this moment or Perdikkas taking a video. Would he find out later? Only about the photo. No, that video was likely going to be used as blackmail against Mydei.)

Phainon was so, so happy that his phone started ringing at that exact moment. He looked at the caller ID. Cyrene. ‘Oh thank Oronyx it’s Cyrene, I could shove myself out an airlock right now but she saved me.’ He looked at the group around him. “Sorry, it’s Cyrene from back home, the connection is always spotty, so I should probably take this.” Mydei got up and let Phainon exit the booth. “I’ll probably have to head back to the dorm after this because her calls are never quick.” He panicked and made to grab for his things, but slipped into Mydei’s lap in the process.

He felt Mydei tense up underneath him.

(There was a photo of this, too, he would discover.)

“Fuck, sorry.” He pushed himself up, a hand between Mydei’s legs and the other on the table.

Mydei’s leg twitched, and Phainon felt hands on him, steadying him. Mydei’s hands. One on his waist and the other on the arm between his legs.

“You okay there?” Mydei asked.

Had Phainon been more aware of his surroundings, he would have noticed a few things: 

1. Mydei barely breathing.
2. Haphaestion looking on the verge of murder.
3. Castorice covering her mouth with a gasp.
4. Polyxia’s phone taking pictures.
5. Peucesta’s bark of laughter.
6. Perdikkas also having his phone out, recording the moment.
7. Ptolemy smiling while drinking his soda.
8. Leonnius holding back a laugh.
9. The strawberry shake getting knocked over onto the table, himself, and Mydei.

“Y-” and he also got splashed with the milkshake, causing him to fall again because his hand managed to slide in said milkshake.

He fell backwards into Mydei.

“-es?” he squeaked out the rest of the word, now looking up at Mydei’s face from his lap.

‘Is Mydei blushing?’ He was starstruck at Mydei’s gaze, frozen in place by those golden eyes. ‘He really does smell like pie.’ Clearly, his thoughts were base level at highest right now.

He barely registered that his phone started ringing again.

“I- I’m sorry!” He scrambled up and dashed out of the café, hoping that his dignity would be somewhat intact after that, and almost, almost, didn’t return Cyrene’s call.

When he got back to his dorm, he realized he was covered in strawberry milkshake.

He didn’t know the face that Mydei made when he ran out the door. If he had, then Cyrene would have had to wait for Phainon to call her back later. Truly unfortunate for our white-haired puppy.

Chapter Text

There is nothing quite like you.

Nothing like you in the world.

Your smile, soft as the sun.

Your laugh, sweet as the rain.

If I could hold you in my arms right now,

Would you stay, or

Would you leave me?

The sky is on fire with thoughts of you.

Would you kiss me?

Would you say you love me?

Will you run away with me?

Let me hold you.

Let me love you.

Can you feel the beating of my heart?

Can you tell that you’re the one who made it start?

There is nothing quite like you.

Nothing like you in this world.

Eyes so bright, it’s blinding.

A voice like nothing else.

Call out to me, and I’ll come running.

Call out to me, and I’ll be there.

Call out to me, could you please-

Would you kiss me if I let you?

Would you say you love me too?

Would you kiss me if I let you?

Let my heartbeat, please, ring true.

Mydei stared at the thing he had just written.

He considered deleting it completely.

But he didn’t.

He did, however, recite it to his chimera plush, Snowy.

“Do you think he likes me, Snowy?” He asked the plush before hugging it tightly and falling asleep.

Chapter Text

It had been just over a month before Polyxia sent Phainon the photos from that afternoon.

Polyxia: Hey, thought you’d like to have these.

Polyxia: [photo]

Polyxia: [photo]

Polyxia: [photo]

Polyxia: [photo]

Phainon: Wait, what?

Phainon: WHAT.

Phainon: YOU DID NOT.

Phainon: WHAT.

Polyxia: (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.

Phainon: ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;) 

Polyxia: (❀❛ ֊ ❛„)♡

Phainon: You’re the devil.

Polyxia: (ㅅ´ ˘ `)

Phainon: ૮₍˶Ó﹏Ò ⑅₎ა

Polyxia: It was the gayest shit I’ve ever seen.

Polyxia: OFC I took pictures.

Polyxia: I just forgot to send them, that’s all.

Phainon: THE DEVIL.

Phainon: YOU ARE THE DEVIL.

Phainon: …

Phainon: Damn he looks cute.

Polyxia: ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

Polyxia: You both do.

Phainon: What did he say that day in Styxian?

[read]

Phainon didn't receive any response to that question. Ever.

He saved those pictures to his phone anyway.

The one of Mydei eating the cookie from his hands… he resisted all temptation to make that his wallpaper, but he absolutely made that his contact picture.

He had tried, desperately, to forget the fumbles from that day.

But they were lodged deep into his mind, the way Mydei looked at him, and the feeling of Mydei’s hands on his waist were too much to not keep like precious gems.

He sighed and sent a message to Hyacine.

Phainon: I think I’m having a heart attack.

Hyacine: WHAT. CALL THE HOSPITAL, DON’T TEXT ME!

Phainon: Not like that.

Hyacine: THEN DON’T SAY IT THAT WAY.

Phainon: Polyxia just sent me a picture.

Hyacine: Oh?

Phainon: I’m mortified.

Hyacine: You know I can’t do anything if you don’t explain.

Phainon: …

Phainon: [photo]

He sent the one of Mydei eating the cookie.

Phainon: Yeah, uh.

Hyacine: Oh Mnestia, this is beautiful.

Phainon: (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

Hyacine: ₍₍⚞(˶>ᗜ<˶)⚟⁾⁾

Phainon: ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა

Hyacine: That’s the cutest damn thing I‘ve ever seen.

Hyacine: I’m shocked that you didn’t get decapitated by Haphaestion.

Hyacine: Dude’s got issues.

[Phainon is typing]

Hyacine: BUT I doubt that he would do anything because Mydei clearly likes you.

Phainon: ????????????????????????

Hyacine: You can’t be that dense.

Hyacine: You really have got to be fucking with me if you say you haven’t noticed.

Phainon: I-

Phainon: What do you mean?

Hyacine: I’m a nursing student, not a matchmaker Phainon.

Hyacine: And I have little-to-no reason to lie to you.

Hyacine: Mydei definitely has a crush on you.

Hyacine: Literally, he *only* smiles around *you*.

Phainon: I-

Phainon: Well then.

[Hyacine is typing]

Phainon locked his phone and didn’t respond to other messages from Hyacine after that, not today at least.

He buried his face in his hands, happy again that his roommate wasn’t around to need to explain his erratic behavior to.

“What does she mean he has a crush on me?” He whispered into his hands. “There’s no way.”

Just over a month ago:

Mydei watched as Phainon spoke.

The comment about cows had thrown him for a moment.

‘Why cows?’

Phainon had laughed quietly. “I grew up on a farm in a small town, and there were no other kids my age except Cyrene and I was worried that all I had that would be interesting to talk about would be cows.” He seemed to rush through the explanation.

Mydei almost choked on his water. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh.”

Phainon seemed to retreat into himself. “It’s fine, I’m just not that interesting, that’s all.”

‘You are by far the most interesting person I’ve ever met, don’t you dare talk that way about the guy I’m in love with.’ Mydei’s thoughts were so loud he was worried that Phainon could hear him. He nudged Phainon with his shoulder to get the man’s attention. “It’s more interesting than you give it credit for. Most of the people around here don’t know the meaning of a hard day's work.” He had to laugh a little as he looked at Phainon’s face.

Phainon’s response to that was entirely unexpected. “I wouldn’t say that, everyone has their own opinion of what ‘hard work’ entails. For me, it was studying and helping out my folks, but for someone else it could just be waking up in the morning and making sure they eat something.”

Mydei’s eyes widened. “That’s very-” he paused, thinking of how hard his mother had it. How spot on the sentiment was. He thought about the times when he had gotten too depressed to even get out of bed. Phainon may not have been able to see it, but those words really did touch Mydei’s very soul. “That’s very kind of you. Not many people see the world that way.” He knew that the guys would feel that way too. They had seen how bad he had gotten in the past, and they knew exactly what some of those tattoos covered up, brutally painful reminders of what he had gone through.

And Phainon would consider that as a valid form of hard work.

To be able to get out of bed and eat was sometimes the only thing he could force himself to accomplish. To have that be seen as valid was…

The waitress interrupted that thought with trays of food.

“HELL YEAH!” Leonnius was the first to respond, and Mydei opted to help the poor woman because holy shit was there a lot of food.

He started to help pass the meals over to his friends, and accidentally hit Phainon in the face with his sleeve. “Oh, shit, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I like pie.”

Mydei froze. Phainon could smell the pie on his jacket? He had made some, yeah, but that was a few days ago. Did his jacket really smell of cinnamon and apples? He honestly stared at Phainon for a second before setting Phainon’s food in front of him.

Or did he set his own plate in front of Phainon?

He didn’t pay attention to where he set down their plates, even if he ordered two very, very similar dishes for the two of them, and he had Phainon’s.

‘That’s my bacon.’ He squinted as Phainon ate his bacon. He didn’t like the weird breakfast sausages, but had gotten them for Phainon because, well, he seemed like the kind of guy who would want them. ‘I was looking forward to that.’ He sucked it up and ate the sausages anyway.

Shockingly, they were amazing. He hummed as he ate, not engaging in conversation until after his potatoes and sausages were gone. “Can you pass the syrup?” He asked Perdikkas, who was the closest to the varied flavours. “Raspberry, not maple.” And when he was handed the sweet topping, he poured a small amount on his plate before giving it a taste. ‘This is amazing too! I wonder if they make it in-house. I’ll need this recipe if they do.’ He poured entirely too much of it on his pancakes, but whatever. It tasted good, so he was fine with it. It reminded him of the breakfasts his mom would make, and he had been nostalgic since Phainon made him think about those days mere minutes ago. He melted into the happier memories of breakfasts with his mother, the scent of fresh bread baking, the taste of pomegranate jam between honeycakes coated in fresh, golden honey from their back yard. And Phainon is the one who let him relive that memory. He almost cried, the ache from losing that side of his mornings still debilitated him some days, but Phainon made it okay to think about. And he couldn’t bring himself to mention that he was thankful for that.

At some point, the conversation drifted to the confections that the little cafe had for sale, two of which sat in front of Phainon. Two cookies decorated to look like orange tabby cats. “Those are really cute,” he said, “I think all of their desserts look cute.” He knew that his friends knew about his love for baking, and his affinity towards making things almost too adorable to eat. (The aforementioned pies had decorations of sparrows and squirrels among leaves done with the pastry crust on top. His friends almost refused to eat them.) 

What he didn’t expect was Phainon holding out the cat-like cookie, “It looks like you, doesn’t it?”

Mydei almost choked on his milkshake, and stared at Phainon. “Well, the dog ones look like you. Guess we’re even that way.” He didn't know what possessed him to take a bite out of the definitely-not-offered cookie, but he did. It was so good that he made sure to pick up the crumbs that fell to eat. ‘One does not waste good sweets.’ 

Phainon whined, “That was mine!”

Mydei raised an eyebrow. “I paid for it, I can take it all if you want.” He kept his voice calm while his mind raced over the double entendre that he just dropped. He knew that if he looked away from Phainon, he wouldn’t be able to explain the slip.

“I’ll eat it.” Phainon quickly ate the rest of the snack.

Mydei smiled in delight as Phainon did so. “[You are far too cute.]”

He heard Castorice almost choke on her food. Shit. He said that in Styxian. “[Did you just call him cute?]” He felt her staring. “[Oh dear gods you are down so damn bad. Kiss him already!]”

Polyxia, thankfully, responded to her sister. “[Not with his weird boys here, don’t even suggest that.]” Her voice remained calm and collected as she no doubt glared at her sister.

Mydei couldn’t help but laugh and waved it off. “[You know I’m writing a song for him, I’m not gonna make out with him if he doesn’t feel the same way.]”

Haphaestion said something about how it was rude to speak in languages that he didn’t know around him. ‘Why, so you can be even more jealous?’ He wanted to smack Haphaestion, but kept that  reaction tucked away for later.

“No harm, no foul.” He heard Polyxia say. “Besides, you don’t want to know what Cass said. I don't even want to repeat that out loud.”

Mydei grabbed the other cookie, “You sure I can’t have this one?” He held it in front of Phainnon, who hadn’t broken eye-contact.

“Go for it.” He almost shied away before Mydei had a truly delightful thought.

“Here, fair’s fair.” He held out the treat to Phainon, “Go on, take a bite.” He felt the grin cross his face as he started waving the cookie back and forth, watching as Phainon’s eyes followed it.

“I can’t if you keep moving it!” Mydei didn’t expect Phainon to grab him by the wrist and actually take a bite of the cookie. He also hoped he didn’t imagine the sparkle in Phainon’s eyes right before that.

Mydei hummed in response right before Phainon’s phone started ringing, pulling him out of his trance.

Phainon quickly explained who was calling and that he needed to take the call, so Mydei got out of the booth to let Phainon go. Mydei sat down to eat the rest of the cookie before Phainnon reached over to grab the things he had left at his seat.

And Phainon slipped on something, bumped the table hard, and landed across Mydei’s lap; one hand between his legs, and the other on the table… in the spilled milkshake.

“You okay there Phainon?” He moved to help Phainon up, but Phainon was too quick, and his hand slipped in the spilled shake, and he fell backwards into Mydei’s chest and lap.

Mydei felt frozen at that moment. 

Phainon was on his lap.

The angel of his dreams was on his lap.

The man of his dreams barely squeaked out a “Yes?” before quickly shooting up off of Mydei’s lap with his hands full of his stuff and running out the door.

Mydei’s hand reached after Phainon out as he started to stand up.

“You okay, Dei?” Perdikkas asked.

“I-”

“Dude, you have milkshake all over you.” Ptolemy stated. “You should probably wash that off before it stains.

Mydei looked down at his clothes, the cold wet of the shake was beginning to seep through his clothes. “Shit.” And he used napkins to clean up what he could before running to the restroom to quickly rinse off his clothes. 

He was happy it was a single-person bathroom.

He was happy his friends wouldn’t mind the delay as he stripped down to rinse his shirt and pants quickly.

He was thankful that he had the jacket.

He could cover up the spots he washed with it at least.

When he got out of the bathroom, everyone was just about ready to leave. Mydei paid for everyone’s food because he felt really bad about the mess Phainon caused.

They all thanked him.

“I’m… heading to my place to sleep. I..”

“It’s cool, little prince.” Polyxia said, “We understand.” She gave him a small laugh. “I did get pictures, though.”

He shot her a deadly look. “You did not.”

“I already sent them to you.” She smiled.

He looked at the pictures on his phone.

“Yeah,” Mydei felt slightly dizzy looking at them. “Why did you take pictures?”

“Because you’re both adorable.” She nudged him with her elbow. “Plus I thought you’d like to have pictures of him flustered as hell.”

Mydei didn’t dignify that with a response, instead he changed the topic. “I should see how mom is doing. So I’m gonna… head out.”

He would only call his mom if he was alone. 

She preferred video calls because she was able to see him. 

Her injuries made hearing harder on her. 

So at least she could see him talking. 

Sign language had become a prevalent part of his interactions with her.

He really did want to talk to her. 

He just didn’t want to bother her.

She was still recovering, after all.

He ran back to his apartment anyway to check with her nurse if she was available to take a call.

Thankfully, she was.

And he was so happy to hear her voice.

Chapter Text

Some months later:

Mydei woke up covered in sweat.

He immediately reached for his chimera plush and hugged it close, burying his face in it.

It was another nightmare.

Another memory.

The ghost of pain once inflicted upon him ghosted across his skin.

He allowed himself to cry in secret, it’s part of why he was happy to have his own apartment. He wanted to be able to cry and go through things without eyes on him.

Things were already bad enough in Kremnos.

He didn’t want to drag that drama and pain with him to Okehma.

But those things would prove too difficult to run from. Impossible to hide from.

He curled up and clung to the chimera like it was the only real thing in his world, willing the memories away.

He didn’t know how long he laid there, but he left the fog of his fear when his phone made a woof sound. Of course he let Phainon’s messages through on the Do Not Disturb setting. Very few people were allowed that grace. He always turned on the Do Not Disturb when he was alone and when he wanted to be alone. He knew better than to let people in when he was hurting, but Phainon was different.

He grabbed at his phone, eyes sore, and read the texts that Phainon had sent him from various points of the day.

Phainon: I heard from Perdikkas that you left early today. Are you feeling well?

30 minutes passed

Phainon: I was running errands, did you need me to grab you anything?

Another 30 minutes

Phainon: LOOK AT THIS CUTE CAT!

Phainon: [blurry photo of a cat]

An hour later

Phainon: Would you want to get food with me later?

Just now

Phainon: Hey, really-

Phainon: Are you okay?

Phainon: Because I can come over if you need me to.

Phainon: I see your read receipts, so you can’t tell me you’re dead.

Mydei laughed at that. His face hurt.

Mydei: I’m just waking up.

Phainon: It’s 3pm.

Phainon: Can I come over?

Phainon: I did get you something while I was out.

Mydei waited a moment before responding, but then-

Phainon: I’m already here, so you can’t tell me no.

The unmistakable sound of Phainon knocking at his door

Mydei: I’m not even dressed.

Mydei: Give me a minute.

Phainon: Should I count?

Mydei: No.

Mydei peeled himself out of his bed and walked to his bathroom, where he washed his face.

“I look like shit,” he muttered to himself as he looked at his face. His eyes were red, and the tattoo on his face barely covered the scar, and it almost always became visible when he cried.

He hated it.

He washed his face again and put on some moisturiser in the hopes that it would stop the thing from being too noticeable.

He didn’t even consider putting normal clothes on, so he just went to the door in his pajamas. A simple red and black set that his mom had sent him last month, they had his family crest embroidered on them. He liked them, honestly.

He moved to the front door after making sure that the music room’s door was still locked. He failed to notice that he hadn’t shut his bedroom door. He was tired, and this was Phainon. It was fine, right?

He opened the door to an incredibly patient and worried-looking Phainon.

He didn’t expect Phainon to literally drop what he was holding to put his hands on Mydei’s face.

“Oh my god, what happened?”

Mydei froze in place. “It’s that bad, is it?” He forced a smile and a small laugh. “You dropped your stuff,” clearly more worried about anything other than himself right now.

“You’re burning up.” Phainon looked terrified.

“I’m fine.” Mydei tried to look away, but Phainon clearly thought that wasn’t an option.

“No, you’re not.” Phainon grabbed his hand and dragged him into Mydei’s apartment.

“But your things-”

“They can wait.” Phainon directed him to sit down on the sofa, and immediately went to fill a glass with water. He seemed to also find a blanket despite no lights being on and the curtains tightly drawn. Phainon went to retrieve his things from outside afterwards.

He tried to not make noise as he set his things down on the coffee table, and hesitated to sit down next to Mydei.

Mydei scoffed.

“What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“I know you’re lying.” Phainon moved to brush hair out of Mydei’s face. “I’ve never seen you this shaken up. Not to mention what seems to be a fever.”

“I promise I’m fine.”

Phainon wrapped his arms around Mydei, face in his neck. “I know you’re not.” He sounded on the verge of crying.

“Fine,” Mydei huffed. “Promise not to make fun of me.”

“Anything,” Phainon’s grip tightened. “Please, I promise.”

“I had a hard time sleeping.” His voice was a whisper. “Nightmares. Bad ones.”

“Do you want to tell me about them?” Phainon pulled back from the hug, and Mydei could see the glint of blue in his eyes in the dim lights that drifted from the kitchen. “If not, I won’t pry. I just know that it can be better to not keep it to yourself.”

Could he lie to Phainon?

No. He couldn’t.

“I..” He took a shaky breath. “I went through a lot as a kid.” He closed his eyes. “I went through a lot and I almost lost my mom to an accident and she’s still recovering.” He looked at the floor. “It was bad, and I can’t get it out of my head, everything that happened that led to her accident.” He swallowed hard. “It was my fault.”

Phainon only brushed his fingers through Mydei’s hair, waiting. He didn’t press. He didn’t ask. He waited, trying to soothe Mydei with his hands in his hair.

Mydei held back a sob. “My father was borderline evil,” he leaned his head into Phainon’s hand, the tears started to flow. “He would constantly hurt us, and I-”

Phainon ran his other hand through Mydei’s hair.

“I- I don’t know. One day I snapped and I just-”

“It’s okay, I’m here,” Phainon’s voice was a whisper. “I won’t leave unless you want me to.”

Something in those words broke Mydei, and he let out a sob. “She got hurt because of me. I wanted to die so bad. It was my fault. I don’t deserve to live because she almost died from something I did.”

Phainon wiped away each tear as it fell. He said nothing as he let Mydei cry.

“Because of me she-” he felt broken again. Like the wounds were fresh again. They all burned. Every scar burned. “Because of me she was in the hospital for years, and they kept me separate from everyone. I was there for four years. I was forced to stay there for four years. My father made them keep me there. I wanted to die so badly that I tried, I tried, I trieditrieditried-” He was hyperventilating, and he couldn’t stop it. The world was closing in.

Phainon finally spoke. “Your pain is valid.” His voice was soft and sweet. “But I doubt you did it on purpose. You were a child.”

“You don’t understand.” Mydei was shaking.

“Breathe, I’ll wait until I understand as much as you want me to understand.” Phainon pressed his forehead against Mydei’s. “I’ve got all the time in the world for you. Take your time.”

Mydei finally looked at Phainon’s face. He wasn’t smiling. He was genuinely worried. His eyes were full of so much kindness. It hurt. It hurt to see that kindness directed towards him. “I don’t deserve your kindness. I don’t deserve you.” The words barely left his mouth. “I don’t deserve to be loved by you, or to feel the way I do about you, I don’t deserve any of this.” His sobs ripped from his throat like fire. They burned. They burned but not as badly as the scars that covered his body. He leaned further into Phainon’s touch, as if the only thing that felt like salvation from his fears was the touch of the man in front of him. “Stay with me.” The words were less than a whisper.

“Always.” Phainon’s voice was calm and firm. “I’ll always be here for you.” He pulled Mydei close. “You don’t have to force yourself to be strong around me.” He kissed Mydei on the forehead. “I can be strong for you when you aren’t up to it. I love you, Mydei.”

Mydei didn’t hear any of that though. He just cried until it stopped hurting. And Phainon held him the whole time.

Mydei woke up with Phainon on the sofa next to him.

He didn’t want to look at the time. He just wanted to sit with his angel, so he wrapped the blanket around them both and tucked his face into Phainon’s chest, falling asleep again after Phainon wrapped those strong arms around him while still asleep.

‘I don’t deserve this happiness. But if you want it, maybe I’ll try to earn it.’

Mydei didn’t really remember what happened that afternoon. He didn’t remember much beyond Phainon showing up at his door. He remembered that he didn’t have a nightmare, though. Instead, he dreamt of wheat fields and home-cooked food with people who loved him.

He woke up to find himself in his bed, and again found a very sleepy Phainon next to him. Phainon must have found a way to drag him to bed at some point.

He smiled and brushed the hair out of Phainon’s face.

“I… I’ve got to get to class.” He pulled himself out of bed to get ready, leaving Phainon asleep in his bed. “Where is my phone?” He whispered, looking around and finding it on the kitchen counter.

He had messages from almost everyone. Was he that out of it yesterday?

He looked up at the stack of things that were sitting on the coffee table, mid-morning light peeking through the curtains as the windows faced East. 

He walked over to the pile and saw some ruined cupcakes and cookies in a box that had gotten upturned. He picked up said box and brought it to the kitchen, where he took out a cupcake and two of the cookies. Despite their rough condition, he still ate them. He left a note by them before he left the apartment, leaving his spare key with the note.

Phainon, thank you for the cupcakes. 

Make sure you lock up when you leave.

Thank you for everything.

-Mydei

Chapter Text

Phainon hadn’t known what to expect when Mydei opened the door.

It certainly wasn’t the guy looking like he just got hit in the face, eyes swollen from what was probably crying. 

He dropped what he was holding, reaching out to touch Mydei’s face. “Oh my god, what happened?” 

“That bad, huh?” The blonde’s voice was scratchy and worn out. He groggily looked at the things that fell from Phainon’s hand, “You dropped your stuff.”

“You’re burning up!”

“I’m fine.” The tiny bit of defiance would have been cute if it wasn’t for that fever and that look on his face.

“No you’re not.” Phainon grabbed the hurt blonde and dragged him inside, remembering where the sofa was and having him sit down.

“But your things-” The look on Mydei’s face stung. And it was unacceptable.

“They can wait.” He hurriedly went to grab a glass of water, bringing that to Mydei first. “One sec,” He patted Mydei on the head, who just looked at him like he was barely coherent. He went to find a blanket, “Blanket, blanket, blanket-” He was trying to not panic as he looked for a blanket. He only found one because he walked into Mydei’s room and turned on the lights. “Blackout curtains. Fair.” His eyes landed on the plush Chimera briefly before he grabbed the quilt from the bed to wrap around Mydei. He righted the plush and set it by the pillow, giving it a small pat on the head before turning off the light and rushing to Mydei’s side.

He draped the quilt around Mydei the best he could, “I’m gonna grab my things, I’ll be right back.”

He gingerly set down the half-demolished cupcakes on the table quietly before kneeling in front of Mydei. “What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“I know you’re lying.” He hesitantly brushed the hair out of Mydei’s face. “I’ve never seen you this shaken up.” He put the back of his wrist on the blonde’s forehead. “Not to mention with what seems to be a fever.”

“I promise I’m fine.” Mydei’s voice really sounded shot, so he forced the man to drink some water.

Phainon placed the water on the coffee table and put his arms around Mydei. “I know you’re not okay.” He buried his face in Mydei’s neck as if he could help even out the guy’s body temperature. He himself was on the verge of tears seeing Mydei in this state.

“Fine, just promise not to make fun of me.”

“Anything, please, I promise.”

“I kept waking up, had a hard time sleeping. Constant nightmares. Really bad ones.” He was shaking, even if he tried to laugh.

Phainon could feel his fear, and didn’t want to pull away, but- “Do you want to tell me about them? If not, I won’t pry. I just know that it can be better to not keep it to yourself.” Because he did know what having constant nightmares was like.

He watched silently as Mydei seemed to come to a decision in his head. “I.. I went through a lot as a kid.” Phainon watched as he closed his eyes with golden eyelashes that were still wet with tears. “I went through a lot and I almost lost my mom to an accident and she’s still recovering. It was bad, and I can’t get it out of my head, everything that happened that led to her accident. It was my fault.” He seemed like he wanted to withdraw, so Phainon started doing what comforted himself whenever he had nightmares as a kid. He ran his fingers through Mydei’s hair.

He had no desire to pressure Mydei as he seemed to be fighting his demons. Managing to trust Phainon with them. “My father was borderline evil,”

Mydei seemed to press into Phainon’s hand. That’s when the tears and words started to flow. “He would constantly hurt us, and I-”

Phainon felt his breath catch, ‘Of course it was something like this.’ He started to run his other hand through Mydei’s hair, letting the blonde's cheek be held in his other.

“I- I don’t know. One day I snapped and I just-” He seemed to shudder.

“It’s okay, I’m here, I won’t leave unless you want me to.” He reassured Mydei as best he could.

And then Mydei started to sob. It sounded painful. “She got hurt because of me. I wanted to die so bad. It was my fault. I don’t deserve to live because she almost died from something I did.”

‘He’s trusting me with this.’ Phainon wiped away each tear as it fell. ‘I can’t let him down.’ He said nothing as he let Mydei cry.

“Because of me she-” Mydei was clutching at his own arms, trying to scratch at them. Thankfully his shirt had long sleeves. “Because of me she was in the hospital for years, and they kept me separate from everyone. I was there for four years. I was forced to stay there for four years. My father made them keep me there. I wanted to die so badly that I tried, I tried, I trieditrieditried-” Mydei  was hyperventilating. 

‘You’re not at fault.’ He was holding Mydei’s hand now, “your pain is valid.” He wanted to make all of Mydei’s pain go away, but he knew that he couldn’t change the past. “I doubt you did it on purpose. You were a child.” He exhaled as calmly as he could. ‘There is no way it could have been entirely your fault.’

“You don’t understand.” Mydei was shivering now.

“Breathe, I’ll wait until I understand as much as you want me to understand.” Phainon pressed his forehead against Mydei’s, trying to calm him in any way he could. “I’ve got all the time in the world for you. Take your time.” He hoped Mydei didn’t catch the way his voice almost faltered. ‘I will always have time for you.’

When Mydei looked at him, his eyes were wet with tears. And his voice was barely audible. “I don’t deserve your kindness. I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve to be loved by you, or to feel the way I do about you, I don’t deserve any of this.” He kept holding on even when Mydei seemed to choke on a sob. “Stay with me.”

“Always. I’ll always be here for you.” He pulled Mydei into another hug. “You don’t have to force yourself to be strong around me.” Without thinking, he pressed his lips to Mydei’s forehead. “I can be strong for you when you aren’t up to it.” He felt the words leave his face before he had time to think about it, “I love you, Mydei.” This was not how he had planned to confess to the guy, but Phainon didn’t care so much about that boundary right now. He wrapped his arms tighter around the guy he fell for, the guy who occupied his heart and his dreams- He just needed to be there for Mydei.

He held Mydei close as he continued to cry. He knew his words wouldn’t be of any use right now, so he just held him and reassured him while rubbing his back and kissing his neck. Mydei basically said that he felt the same way, but he wasn’t sure if that was said in error or not. He still went through with the compulsion, as each kiss seemed to make the man’s heart beat slower and his breath more even. If Mydei got mad at him for it later, then so be it.

It took a bit before Mydei seemed to fall asleep, Phainon kneeling on the ground and Mydei leaning into him while sitting on the sofa. It was awkward, yeah, but he didn’t want to startle or move the guy too much. Only when Mydei’s body fully relaxed did he help Mydei into a more comfortable position, and he knew that he wasn’t going to leave Mydei alone. Not like this.

He sat next to Mydei, and smiled when Mydei leaned into him, using his shoulder like a pillow.

“Please don’t leave me,” Mydei mumbled in his sleep.

“I don’t plan on it, Mydei.” He pulled out his phone and set it to silent, then messaged Perdikkas about what transpired.

Phainon: Mydei just didn’t sleep well.

Perdikkas: Really?

Phainon: Yeah. He’s asleep now though.

Perdikkas: You gonna keep an eye on him, lover boy?

Phainon: Yeah.

Phainon: He asked me to stay, after all.

Phainon: Please tell everyone that he’s okay.

Phainon: Just… tired.

Perdikkas: Right-o, lover boy.

At some point, Perdikkas and Phainon had become good friends, and when he talked to the guy about his feelings for Mydei, well, it went over shockingly well.

Perdikkas swore to not tell the other guys about it. He was also the one who mentioned Mydei hadn’t so much as messaged their group that day, which he almost always did. Confirming plans, schedules, lunch, or whatever they talked about.

Phainon immediately started to worry when Perdikkas had alerted him to Mydei’s silence. Which is how he ended up here in the first place.

Perdikkas: Just don’t take advantage of him when he’s like this.

Phainon: I’m not a monster.

Perdikkas: The last person who saw him like this was Haphaestion.

Perdikkas: And I don’t have to spell that one out to you.

Perdikkas: But it ended up very poorly.

Phainon: I promise to not do anything.

Phainon: On my grandfather’s grave, I promise.

Perdikkas: Good.

Perdikkas: I’ll let the guys know he’s okay then.

Perdikkas: Just don’t leave his side.

Phainon: Wouldn’t dream of it.

Perdikkas: Good.

Perdikkas: Goodnight you two.

Perdikkas: Don’t tell him that I wish him sweet dreams.

Phainon: I won’t.

Phainon: Goodnight.

Phainon leaned into Mydei and grabbed onto his hand, lightly rubbing his thumb in circles on the back of it.

“I love you Mydei, and I’ll never leave you.” He whispered and he decided to just sit in silence until he fell asleep.

When he woke up later, the blanket had been wrapped around both of them, and Mydei was curled up against him like a kitten in his arms. His neck hurt from the position he fell asleep in, and he did a small test to see if Mydei was awake or lucid in any way.

He was out cold, but nuzzled into Phainon further.

Any other time or situation, and he would have been working hard to breathe, but right now, it was not shocking for Mydei to act like this.

He wiggled out from under the blonde, and moved to pick him up.

“No, Phainon,” Mydei’s eyes opened ever so slightly, still in the fog of sleep. ‘Don’t leave, I need you,” his hand grabbed tight to Phainon’s shirt.

“Don’t worry, I’m not leaving, I’m just moving you so you don’t ache in the morning.”

“Mhn,” Mydei clung to Phainon when he was eventually picked up. His eyes opened again slightly. “Angels exist?” The words were still laced with sleep.

Phainon paused at that ever so briefly, “Yeah, I guess so,” and laughed lightly.

“Good,” Mydei’s hand found Phainon’s face, “Can I tell you a secret?” His eyes still closed with sleep.

“Anything.”

“I love my Phainon,” and kissed him before falling back into his deep slumber.

Phainon did everything he could at that point to function long enough to be able to set Mydei down on the bed. He made sure Mydei was comfortable, went to get a wet washcloth and wiped away the tears from Mydei’s face. “Kiss me when you’re awake, silly,” he whispered before returning to the bathroom to put the washcloth in the hamper.

He set his phone down on the nightstand and shuffled his shoes off before climbing into the bed with Mydei, who seemingly instinctively grabbed at him and pulled himself closer to Phainon.

“I hope your dreams are sweet tonight, Mydei.” He whispered and pulled him closer, Mydei’s breath slowly matched his own, and he let himself drift back into sleep.

In the morning, he wasn’t shocked to see Mydei had gone. He was like a big cat, after all.

He noticed that his shoes had been moved and his phone had been plugged in, and the chimera plush was tucked into his arms.

It had a nametag, and Phainon felt his heart almost rupture when he read it. 

“Snowy”

‘He named the plush after my dog? Really? Can’t possibly be the case.’ He let out a slight chuckle. ‘If he did, that’s the cutest damn thing.’ He decided to sleep in a little, he didn’t have class today anyway, and Mydei’s bed was warm.

Later on, he discovered the note and that the cupcakes had been carefully righted, and the cookies partially reassembled. And the key.

He knew Mydei would likely not remember what happened. He knew panic attacks all too well and how they can make the brain forget anything that happened during them.

He kept their mutual confessions to himself.

“I love my Phainon” echoed in his ears, and he felt his face burn hot. ‘He did say that, didn't he?’ A hand trailed to his own lips, ‘and he kissed me.’ Asleep or not, Phainon still got kissed by the guy who had fallen for so damn hard, and he almost came apart because of it.