Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

standarsh added KyleB to Garrison can suck my balls.

standarsh: finally finished adding everyone

KyleB: why am i the last

standarsh: uh

standarsh: i forgot haha

John F kenny: he forgor cuz he too busy suckin me off 😭😭

standarsh: bro what

standarsh: no

standarsh: ew

KyleB: Kenny never talk again.

John F kenny: what, jealous?

KyleB: There’s not a lot to be jealous of.

John F kenny: im so in love with you 🤤 

KyleB: I’m killing myself.

standarsh gave KyleB admin.

standarsh: change your name NOW

KyleB: yessir

John F kenny: why do you listen to him and not me :(

KyleB: I wonder why!!!

John F kenny: @standarsh give me a piece of that super best friend ass 👅 

standarsh: no that ass is mine

KyleB: excuse me.

standarsh: not like that

standarsh: not like that

standarsh: not like that

standarsh: not like that

standarsh: not like that

John F kenny: it’s like that kyle

KyleB changed to theperfectprettygirl.

theperfectprettygirl: Stan, it’s okay. I’m very aware my ass is super.

fattymcfatson: Kyle why is ur name so gay

theperfectprettygirl: IT’S NOT GAY

theperfectprettygirl: I’ve just been getting into Saiki K lately…

fattymcfatson: yeah

fattymcfatson: sure

fattymcfatson changed theperfectprettygirl to Jewlboy.

fattymcfatson removed Jewlboy’s admin.

Jewlboy: I’m gonna fucking kill you

fattymcfatson: I’d like to see you try GAY BOY

John F kenny: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

fattymcfatson: YOU. ME. STARK POND. AFTER SCHOOL.

Jewlboy: Boy, why are we going to Stark Pond to fight??

Jewlboy: You’re acting like a homo, Cartman.

fattymcfatson: NO WE’RE FIGHTING!!!

standarsh: cartman, it’s okay to come out.

John F kenny: Cartman im very homophobic, pls don’t come out.

fattymcfatson: im coming out as jewphobic

Jewlboy: I hate you.

queen: I still like your ass Kyle

queen: if you catch my drift 👅 

Jewlboy: What.

standarsh: bebe, dude…

Tolkien’s crybaby: BEBE?!?!?

queen: oh hey Clyde

queen: what’s that?? oh my dog is calling me bye.

Tolkien’s crybaby: what the shit bro

Tolkien’s crybaby: @Jewlboy fuck YOU

Jewlboy: Bro, I didn’t do anything.

fattymcfatson: kyle stealing ur bitch clyde 😭 

standarsh: Kyle has a magical ass.

Jewlboy: Stan, stop talking about my ass or I’m not building my house next to yours.

standarsh: you wouldn’t…

Jewlboy: Try me.

John F kenny: Kyle can you pls let me slap that magical ass 🙏 🙏 

standarsh: Kenny stop. we should move on.

fattymcfatson: stan ur such a dog 😭 

standarsh: Shut uo Cartman.

standarsh: up*

hashtagWoke: Stan, can you please get me some harbucks after school?

standarsh: but Wendyyyy

standarsh: I was gonna go play fortnite…

hashtagWoke: Pleaseeee?

standarsh: anything for u.

fattymcfatson: Case in point.

queen: aint gonna lie

queen: I would be a dog for wendy too

DollaDolla: guys how are you all texting class just started.

standarsh: sub

fattymcfatson: sub

queen: sub

John F kenny: sub

Jewlboy: sub

Asshole: Divorce

Tolkien’s crybaby: what

standarsh: care to eloborate??? 

fattymcfatson: craig i want you dead.

John F kenny: craig can i bang your mom

Tolkien’s crybaby: guys i found a picture of Jimmy’s feet

Jewlboy: Why do you have that??

comedian: why did you keep that clyde???

Tolkien’s crybaby: You guys dont keep pics of your friend’s feet?

standarsh: dawg.

DollaDolla: Brosquito.

DollaDolla: No…

Tolkien’s crybaby: nobody thinks what i think.

fattymcfatson: thank god for that.

John F kenny: can i see kyle’s feet?

Jewlboy: I hate my life

we run dis shit

thing 1: If we have to write one more paper on shitty presidents I’m shooting up the school 

thing 4(x4): screenshotted.

thing 1: stop

thing 1: no

thing 3: istg i aint gonna even ATTEMPT this 1

thing 2: It’s not that bad, guys. I’m halfway done.

thing 4(x4): Kyle ur ginger and jewish.

thing 4(x4): i dont want to hear it

thing 2: You can’t hear it because there’s too much fat in your ears.

thing 4(x4): IM NOT FAT

thing 4(x4): IK MOT FAT FUCK YOU

thing 3: cartman please keep spamming, im close.

thing 4(x4): kenny. i just want you to know. i hate you

thing 1: same guy who said he gooned to tolkien’s gym pics btw

thing 4(x4): and ill do it again

thing 4(x4): WHO SAID THAT

thing 4(x4): WHO SAID THAT

thing 4(x4): WHOOOO SAIDDDD THATTTTTT

thing 2: Cartman’s Gay era 😍

thing 1: Was FDR married?

Garrison can suck my balls:

Asshole’s: bzzzmmzmzzmmzz

Asshole’s: bzzzzmzmzmzzz

Asshole’s: bzzzmzzzz DING

John F kenny: what

standarsh: is he a bug

Jewlboy: No, I think it’s some type of machine?

standarsh: a retarded bug??

queen: don’t call my beautiful boy retarded

hashtagWoke: STAN.

standarsh: what

fattymcfatson: baby’s first slur 🥺 

Tolkien’s crybaby: maybe he’s recreating an oven?

Jewlboy: Oven’s don’t like…bzzzmzm or whatever.

John F kenny: OOO OOO MAYBE HE’S UHHH

John F kenny: UhhhhhhHh

this guy: Oh! I know I know! He’s a microwave!!

Asshole: ✅ 

fattymcfatson: DAMMIT

fattymcfatson: BUTTERS YOU CHEATED

this guy: Well golly, Eric! I never cheated!!

standarsh: no way microwaves sound like that.

Jewlboy: No way?!?

Tolkien’s crybaby: wait, im gonna make pizza rolls and check

standarsh: ok clyde

Jewlboy: Ok.

John F kenny: @standarsh FDR was marrid

standarsh: thanks kenny

John F kenny: for my reward

John F kenny: lemme slap kyle’s ass.

Jewlboy: STOP.

Tolkien’s crybaby: I burnt the pizza rolls.

Chapter Text

Garrison can suck my balls:

Tolkien’s crybaby: Butters I hope ur happy………

standarsh: clyde

standarsh: give it up

Tolkien’s crybaby: it’s not fair

DollaDolla: He won fair and square.

Tolkien’s crybaby: Why do you never do giveaways Tolkien

DollaDolla: no comment.

Tolkien’s crybaby: fake fucking friend.

Tolkien’s crybaby: fakes everywhere.

Asshole: Sorry ur such a sore loser Clyde

Tolkien’s crybaby: IT’S YOUR FUCKING
Tolkien’s crybaby: FUCKING DUMBASS BOYFRIEND CAN’T GIVE ME EASY ONES

Asshole:.

standarsh: FDR married his cousin yall

fattymcfatson: stan stop talking about FDR. it’s pissing me off

John F kenny: he will NOT stop. He keeps yappin bout fdr like we care 😭

standarsh: i just cant stop.

standarsh: it’s driving me insane

Jewlboy: Stan. Stop researching about FDR.

standarsh: yall don’t get me

fattymcfatson: now he’s texan.

queen: which one of you mfs beat up Clyde.

queen: he came running to me crying

queen: like a pussy but its okay cuz its him

Asshole: Your boytoy is a bitch.

queen: im not afraid to fight you Tucker.

Asshole’s: NoonnONnoNNONonono

Asshole’s: NoNONONNonoNon

Asshole’s: NO Fight!!!!! !!

Asshole: ofc honey.

queen: yes tweek.

Tolkien’s crybaby: i cant do this anymore.

John F kenny: these dih riders im sobbing

Jewlboy: Guys help.

Jewlboy: Stan keeps ranting to me about FDR.

John F kenny: im so sorry kyle.

Jewlboy: It’s so hard to focus on my work…

John F kenny: I’m sure that it is…

John F kenny: would you wanna…maybe bounce on it…?

John F kenny: Would that help?

Jewlboy: What.

Tolkien’s crybaby: Kenny…

fattymcfatson: dude.

standarsh: KENNY STOP TRYING TO FUCK KYLE

John F kenny: Im not doin nothing woahh

queen: ts frying me

John F kenny: istg this guy always thinking im after kyle

queen: so true kenny.

queen: he’s just insecure.

John F kenny: he needs to trust Kyle. Else that relationship aint gonna last…

Jewlboy: Hey.

queen: honestly, sometimes i wish Kyle could see he deserves better yknow.

John F kenny: Yeah…

John F kenny: gay people can be so

standarsh: you guys

John F kenny: messy.

queen: messy.

John F kenny: messy…

queen: messy…

standarsh: they’re ignoring us

Jewlboy: Yeah.

Jewlboy: Wanna play Minecraft?

standarsh: yeah.

fattymcfatson: fags.

Girls the world:

Wendy4cute: Girls.

Wendy4cute: I need some help.

Wendy4Cute: Like ASAP !!

Red4hot: Wsp Wendy?

Heidi4sweet: are you alr wends?? We’re here for you !!

Wendy4cute: I’m okay, Heidi

Wendy4cute: not really but aghhh

gossipgirl: it’s okay wendy, take ur time !!

Wendy4cute: I just feel so strange lately.

Wendy4cute: Like im living in a simulation of: school, study, work, text stan, repeat.

Wendy4cute: It’s just a cycle every single day

Wendy4cute: And it’s frustrating because I don’t even remember when my life became so???

Red4hot: the same?

Wendy4cute: The same!!

Heidi4sweet: I’m so soso sorry you feel that way wendy!!! That must be so difficult.

Wendy4cute: It is!!

Wendy4cute: And the real turning point was Stan blowing off our date to play Minecraft with Kyle.

Wendy4cute: Like I get it. Or wtv. But it seems like the one thing that’s changing in my life is just Stan’s lack of accountability for our relationship!!

Wendy4cute: He’ll say he’s just going through something then leave me hanging to go do stuff with Kyle.

Heidi4sweet: That’s not fair to you wth??? How long has this been going on?

Wendy4cute: A while. It started sometime after winter break. It’s like he relies on Kyle more than me!!

Wendy4cute: But I can’t blame him…Kyle’s been his best friend for years.

Heidi4sweet: yknow i love you Wendy

Heidi4sweet: And I support your relationship with stan.

Heidi4sweet: But it sounds like he’s going through something…and not communicating with you. He trusts Kyle yeah but…

gossipgirl: if he can talk to him he can talk to you.

Heidi4sweet: yep…and he’s not

Red4hot: If Stan isn’t communicating, he’s putting the relationship in jeopardy. not your fault tbh 🤷‍♀️ 

gossipgirl: honestly girl, just give him that same energy. if he cant give you the courtesy then you dont either

gossipgirl: he’s gonna realize what he’s missin sooner than later !!!

Wendy4cute: I don’t know you guys…

Heidi4sweet: You could always ask the creek therapy chat…They helped me !!

Wendy4cute: The what??

Red4hot: Oh yeah, I forgot they started that.

gossipgirl: wtf is the creek therapy chat??????

Nicky4cool: It’s a chat that Craig and Tweek started since everyone always goes to them for relationship stuff. It’s one of the ways they get sm money other than the Yaoi shit lol.

gossipgirl: ohhhhhh

Heidi4sweet: It’s not bad! A $10 dollar fee for any advice you want for as long as you want!! 5 extra for irl help!!

Wendy4cute: It may be worth a shot…

Heidi4sweet: go for it!

Red4hot: Yep

Nicky4cool: You got this Wendy!!

mama y papa:

baby: guys

baby: guysssss

baby: GUYSSSDHJSNC

baby: um gonna crash out

baby: ts aint fair ts js pmo icl🥀

crig: dude. what do you want.

baby: omg you finally talked in here

crig: im abt to block you if you dont tell me whats up

crig: its 5 in the morning on a sunday

baby: are u and tweek busy rn

crig: clyde.

crig: its 5.

crig: in the fucking morning.

baby: ok

baby: so are you guys busy???

tweep: ¥

crig: no.

crig: we’re not.

crig: sadly.

baby: can we go get burgers. bebe blew me off again :(

tweep: DID NOTIB NEED TO KNEODBDTHAT BCLYFE

crig: not that type of blew off honey

crig: I hope.

baby: NO TWEEK ITS

baby: she js hasn’t been wanting to like

baby: ILL EXPLAIN WHEN WE GET BURGERS

crig: who said we’re going to DRIVE at 5 in the MORNING to get burgers with you.

tweep: ☎️!!!!

baby: cuz…

baby: im sad…?

crig:.

crig: we’ll be there in 15 mins.

baby: YAYAYAYAYA

Garrison can suck my balls:

(The next day)

DollDolla: So …

Jewlboy: I mean I knew we had to present the paper but…

John F kenny: tbh, I shouldve expected this.

fattymcfatson: Guys I skipped today what is Jewboy talking about

Jewlboy: KYS Fatman.

fattymcfatson: DONT CALL ME FAT YOU GINGERFACE JEW

John F kenny: he isnt like…

John F kenny: online right?

Jewlboy: I think he’s still in detention.

DollaDolla: What the fuck was he thinking bro.

fattymcfatson: Ok don't tell the disabled guy anything

fattymcfatson: fuckin dicks

John F kenny: BASICALLY

John F kenny: Stan presented his paper on the US president that he yknow chose for the assignment or wtv

Jewlboy: It started off normal. 

DollaDolla: But then it got weird like rlly weird

fattymcfatson: yeah…go the fuck on…

John F kenny: then he started listing off FDR’s issues

John F kenny: Then he started talking about how attractive he was.

John F kenny: Then this mf goes outside

Jewlboy: And fucking comes back with a cardboard cutout of “FDR“

DollaDolla: And starts talking to it.

DollaDolla: and like staring at it…and licking his lips…

fattymcfatson: What

John F kenny: the worst part was

John F kenny: it wasn’t even FDR

Jewlboy: It was JFK 😭😭😭

DollaDolla: 😭😭😭😭

comedian: The jokes write themselves

queen: I never want to see stan again

hashtagWoke: At least he was passionate…

John F kenny: idk how mr garrison didn’t like shoot him on the spot

Jewlboy: he wouldn’t shut up about the damn polio

John F kenny: THE FUCKING POLIO!!!!

fattymcfatson: I need stan to kill himself

fattymcfatson: like now

fattymcfatson: i need him to die

Jewlboy: Shut up Fatass.

fattymcfatson: You can’t even defend this shit Kyle

fattymcfatson: HE’S INSANE

John F kenny: yeah kyle, not even your super best friend ass can sway my mind on ts

Jewlboy: He just needs to forget about this. The paper’s done. He’ll uh

Jewlboy: He’ll return to normal. Soon. Hopefully.

mob boss: Guys

mob boss: Why is the art room filled with cutouts of JFK???

John F kenny: THIS MF ESCAPED

John F kenny: HOW DOES HE EVEN HAVE SO MANY???

DollaDolla: @Jewlboy get ur damn dog i cant deal with ts😭😭

hashtagWoke: …

Jewlboy: Bro.

Creek Therapy Chat:

Tweekerson added Unknown.

Tweekerson: We understand you need our help.

Craigory: We would love nothing more. But it comes with a price.

Tweekerson: You know the deal if you’re here.

Tweekerson: Send the money.

Craigory: As soon as possible.

KyleB: Yall need to chill??? This sounds like a drug deal

Tweekerson: In theory

Tweekerson: It is.

Chapter Text

i ate a tuna salad:

mama bird: anyone wanna hangout at mine rn?

hot wheels: yeah sure

Johnny Bravo: can i bring bebe

mamabird: dude

mamabird: I thought she was ignoring you bruh.

hot wheels: did she peg you?

Johnny Bravo: WHAT

mamabird: sick Jimmy

mamabird: But not surprised if she did

hot wheels: ayyy

Johnny Bravo: I WAS NOT PEGGED

spaceguy: Clyde stfu

mamabird: Yo Craig wanna hangout at mine

spaceguy: no

Johnny Bravo: Actually yes!! you are!!

spaceguy: im not, hope this helps!

hot wheels: Come on,  craig what could possibly be more important than spending time with us?

mamabird: uh tweek, stripe, and red racer

spaceguy: uh tweek, stripe, and red racer

spaceguy: wtf tolkien

mamabird: Fucking knew it.

Johnny Bravo: Well Tweek is coming sooo

spaceguy: thats not true

spaceguy: he would've said something

Johnny Bravo: Oh he did. He told us uhh at school

spaceguy: i was with him most of the day dumbass.

mamabird: nonono wait its true

mamabird: he said yes rn because we’re helping Butters clean up.

spaceguy: what

hotwheels: yeah sorry Craig. Guess he didn’t tell you 🤷‍♂️ 

spaceguy: no he would’ve said something he always does

Johnny Bravo: AHA

Johnny Bravo: A CRACK IN YOUR PICTURE PERFECT RELATIONSHIP 

spaceguy: Clyde wtf are u talking about

Honduras Savior: i atfe a battery and i gotto the nurse sorry

Honduras Savior:. im back whatal i miss

spaceguy: sweetie, baby

spaceguy: ur not going to abandon our red racer rerun night right???

Honduras Savior: wgat

Honduras Savior: MOO

hotwheels: haha moo

Honduras Savior: i wo illeiu never do that

Honduras Savior: whodbeid this whi said that

Honduras Savior: ARE you heing Told LIES?!?!!

spaceguy: no one babe, dont worry.

spaceguy: except worry about clyde

spaceguy: cuz im gonna hurt him.

Johnny Bravo: WHAT

Johnny Bravo: NO??? STOP DONT HURT ME PLS

Johnny Bravo: IM SORRY I LIED PLS PLS LLS🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

spaceguy: ur lucky im waiting for tweek to come.

Johnny Bravo: HOW ARE YOU ONLY MAD AT ME??? TOLKIEN LIED TOO??

mamabird: This never happened.

spaceguy: yeah but tolkien’s rich you’re

spaceguy: a bottom

Johnny Bravo: BEBE DIDNT PEG ME

spaceguy: ok

spaceguy: sure

Johnny Bravo: IM NOT LYING

hot wheels: the more you deny the more we believe clyde 

Johnny Bravo: You all SUCK

mamabird: Clyde ily I do

mamabird: but you’re being a dumbass.

Johnny Bravo: ALL YOU SPEAK ARE LIES

Honduras Savior: It’SOK to get Pegged JUSTD DONT

Honduras Savior: DONT

Honduras Savior: DONT DNDKNT 

spaceguy: honey

Honduras Savior: SONOT SPEAK OF

Honduras Savior: DO NOT SPEAK OF IT

spaceguy: im so proud of you

spaceguy: come.

Honduras Savior: SSSSSS

Honduras Savior: KYS KYSYSLYS IM COMING 

spaceguy: im soooo happy rn.

hot wheels: “if you see a twitchy crazy blond boy threatening me dont save me im right where i wanna be” ahh 😭🙏

mamabird: god you guys are disgusting.

hot wheels: homophobic much?

Johnny Bravo: Tolkien you CANNOT be talking

spaceguy: yeah bro you and nichole are sm worse

mamabird: We’re lying now???

papabird: ily tolky

mamabird: im gonna like buy a farm for you and we can raise chickens, cows, anything you want baby i love you

Johnny Bravo: Im killing myself TONIGHT

hot wheels: Weren’t you trying to invite Bebe earlier??

Johnny Bravo: YEAH BUT THEY’RE IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP 

Johnny Bravo: SHE’S FREE TONIGHT AND IM TOO NERVOUS TO ASK HER TO DO ANYTHING ALONE

mamabird: Clyde, you’re never gonna get anywhere with her if you keep inviting her to hangouts only.

hot wheels: yeah bro, you’re kinda cooked if you keep this up.

hot wheels: she’s gonna ghost you again

Johnny Bravo: I KNOW BUT

Johnny Bravo: I just get so nervous around her bro.

mamabird: I get it Brosquito.

mamabird: But all relationships start from uncomfortable conversations.

mamabird: Being nervous is like totally normal. Tell her that instead of fucking inviting her to friend shit.

Johnny Bravo: You’re right Tolkien…

Johnny Bravo: I’m gonna give you the biggest sloppy toppy when I get there.

hot wheels: gross.

mamabird: dont come over aynmore.

Johnny Bravo: YOU DICK💔

hot wheels: speaking of sloppy, the two brohomos haven’t chatted in here for a while.

Johnny Bravo: SICK DUDE.

Johnny Bravo: no way they’re actually…

mamabird: i wouldnt put it past them. God knows they’d never tell us.

hot wheels: Is it gay to talk about the gay sex you had with your friends who just happen to be friends with your bf?

Johnny Bravo: Jimmy

Johnny Bravo: shut up.

hot wheels: im just sayin!

Honduras Savior: crog cant yse hid hands rn

Honduras Savior: hes BUDI

mamabird: What.

hot wheels: I was so right

Johnny Bravo: WTF I DIDNT NEED TO KNOW THAT 

Honduras Savior: I bit him

spaceguy: he bit me

hot wheels: that’s so beautiful.

Johnny Bravo: God I hate gay people.

Creek Therapy Chat:

KyleB: Okay, I fucking paid.

KyleB: Can I please get some help?

KyleB: Hello?? School ended 2 hours ago.

KyleB: Is this shit a fucking scam?

Craigory: Sorry, Tweek’s asleep.

KyleB: You guys run a therapy chat and can’t even be bothered to respond to it?

Craigory: It’s Red Racer Rerun night.

KyleB: Why did I even bother…

Craigory: well im free rn so just lay it all out

Craigory: why are you here kyle.

KyleB: Might as well.

KyleB: I’m having some conflicting feelings right now. I  like this guy ok.

KyleB: And it’s fucking pissing me off. Like he treats me so normally and that makes me mad because we did something one time and he just forgot all about it??? Then goes off and gets back with a girl and it’s dumb.

KyleB: And he has the right to since we CHOSE not talk about it anyway. I shouldn’t be mad but I am and I’m confused.

KyleB: And shit Im getting fucked up with a friend to forget about it.

KyleB: And this friend doesn't know or whatever.

KyleB: But he has a crush that’s unrequited like me so I want to tell him but I don’t know.

KyleB: I’m just scared to say anything about this dumbass shit.

Craigory: uhuh

KyleB: …

KyleB: uhuh???

Craigory: wait

Craigory: You like stan, you guys kissed that one time at Red’s party, he forgot you didn’t, he’s with wendy, and you want to tell kenny about it.

Craigory: am i getting ts right?

KyleB: Wow

KyleB: Yeah you hit it pretty hard.

Craigory: k

Craigory: Kyle idgaf about your friendgroup and i would rather die than help you

Craigory: but ten dollars is ten dollars

Craigory: so for now, here’s some advice before we tackle anything else

Craigory: if you really want stan to treat you differently, stop fucking giving him the time of day. he has wendy’s attention, he doesn’t need yours. be his fucking friend and tell kenny all the mushy shit.

Craigory: if you’re so scared about mccormick saying shit, dont, that guy will be real with you.

Craigory: stop pitying yourself and realize stan is never gonna do anything until he realizes he’s losing you.

Craigory: now dont go ghosting the guy, just give him that same energy he’s giving you. 

KyleB: This is shit advice.

Craigory: Better than kenny’s.

KyleB: So you want me to just act normal with stan, then tell kenny and have him help me??? Weren’t YOU supposed to actually help me figure it out instead of someone else???

Craigory: dumbass.

Craigory: im telling you to stop talking to other people who dont care about your shit and communicate with someone who KNOWS the depth of your shit.

KyleB: I knew this was a fucking scam.

KyleB: Fuck you.

Craigory: 🖕 

Private Chat KyleB —> KennyM:

KyleB: yo ken

KennyM: wsp

KyleB: can we hangout tmr

KyleB: please

KennyM: yea

KennyM: u ok?

KyleB: gotta talk about smthn

KennyM: k

KennyM: ill pick you up around 6

KykeB: ok

Chapter Text

Garrison can suck my balls:

queen: anyone finish mr garrison’s life style presentation?

DollaDolla: me.

Jewlboy: Me.

fattymcfatson: Almost

standarsh: me

John F kenny: was it about how your life would be like married to fdr 😘 

standarsh: listen

standarsh: idk what happened to me that day

standarsh: but lets just forget about it please

queen: @DollaDolla @Jewlboy what did you do yours on???

DollaDolla: Lawyer

Jewlboy: Psychiatrist

fattymcfatson: dont mention the lgbtq guy wow

queen: Fartman how are u even lgbtq

Asshole’s: CATMER IS HDMI?????

Asshole’s: HWYZG ARE YOU THAT STOP STOP STOP

fattymcfatson: shut up spaz

fattymcfatson: im obviously lgbtq bebe god dont be a bigot

queen: dont call tweek a spaz

queen: also literally HOW??

fattymcfatson: geez bebe ur so ignorant

queen: ????

John F kenny: stan i cant let that shit go

standarsh: omfg kenny

standarsh: im not insane anymore lets drop it

John F kenny: i kinda dont want to tho

standarsh: im gonna hurt you

John F kenny: ok DONT threaten me with a good time 🤤 

standarsh: jfc

DollDolla: kenny bro

Tolkien’s crybaby: guys i got more pizza rolls

Asshole: that’s great clyde

DollaDolla: ???

Tolkien’s crybaby: ????!!!?!?!???

Tolkien’s crybaby: CRAIG? COMPLIMENTING ME??

Asshole: ?

John F kenny: is the world ending??

standarsh: this is insane

Asshole: what’s so crazy about this.

standarsh: ur just so

DollaDolla: you

comedian: he’s in a good mood because tweek ranted about pluto and shook his shoulders “like an angry, beautiful, pretty, cute space nerd”.

comedian: his words not mine 😂

DollaDolla: fucking whipped

queen: might as well marry him 😭

Tolkien’s crybaby: so he’s not actually happy i got more pizza rolls

Private Chat KyleB —> KennyM:

KennyM: u still on for tdy?

KyleB: yea

KyleB: ty btw for this

KennyM: no prob dude

KyleB: I rlly appreciate u kenny like a lot

KennyM: man yr gonna make me cry

KennyM: and cum

KennyM: maybe both!!!

KyleB: geez ken

KyleB: 😭😭😭

KennyM: im only kiddin

KennyM: i rlly appreciate u too kyle 

KennyM: ill c u soon

Hot Pink Barbs (+ Wendy):

mcwhoremick: you guys im sooooo fucked

butter toast: aw gee ken, what’s wrong?

bebabe: YOoo

bebabe: wsp kenny

mcwhoremick: craig fucking tucker and his stupid homo relationship

mcwhoremick: even after getting over my crush i coulndt help but CRY when i saw him n tweek cuddling today

bebabe: oh

bebabe: you wish that was you still?

mcwhoremick: no

mcwhoremick: its worse

butter toast: what do you mean ken?

mcwhoremick: i wish that was me and kyle

bebabe: WHAT

butter toast: (°ロ°) ! 

butter toast: this is surprising news kenny!!

mcwhoremick: UGH IK

mcwhoremick: and worst of all im realizing this RIGHT BEFORE IM SUPPOSED TO PICK HIM UP

bebabe: oh shitttr

bebabe: WAIT isnt he like totally in love with stan???

mcwhoremick: SEE THATS THE THING

mcwhoremick: maybe daddy kenny here is delulu but when we started hanging out one one one more…its like

mcwhoremick: the world disappears and stan isn’t even a topic of conversation. maybe cuz he get high half the time but still

butter toast: not gonna lie ken

butter toast: you may got a chance!

mcwhoremick: i can always trust u to feed my delusions buttercup

mcwhoremick: ily

butter toast: aw i love you too ken!

bebabe: while im hesitant at least ur not lusting over tucker anymore lol

mcwhoremick: trust me i have my moments but its more like ATTRACTED than wtv it was freshman year

bebabe: GOOD

bebabe: well

bebabe: I HOPE THINGS W KYLEGO WELLL!!!

bebabe: this is what this gc for yknow

butter toast: true!!!

mcwhoremick: i was actually thinkin

mcwhoremick: we should add tweek here 

butter toast: that’d be sweet as sugar!!!

bebabe: u sure ken?

mcwhoremick: me an him have actually had some chill convos before. he’s super sweet

bebabe: he is awww

bebabe: ok ok ill add him

butter toast: should we make a new gc tho so he doesnt reread any of the freshman year stuff?

bebabe: nah 

bebabe: im pretty sure he knew just didnt care

mcwhoremick: i actually told him when we started becoming friends. he said he knew but was going through something and couldn’t rlly be mad at me. we chill tho

butter toast: Oh! good good 😊 

TweekT joined Hot Pink Barbs (+ Wendy)

bebabe changed TweekT to tweekers

tweekers: WHATZ

mcwhoremick: yoo tweek 

bebabe: HI welcome to the hottest blondies gc

butter toast: welcome tweek!!!

honorary brunette: hi tweek ❤️ 

tweekers: HELO

tweekers: I AM BLONDE

mcwhoremick: everywhere? 🤤

tweekers: SHUT UP

tweekers changed to John

mcwhoremick: wtf

bebabe: john???

John: Anonymous

mcwhoremick: im gooning to this later

bebabe: ofc u are kenny

bebabe: ofc

Garrison can suck my balls:

Tolkien’s crybaby: NO

Tolkien’s crybaby: NO

Tolkien’s crybaby: NOO

Tolkien’s crybaby: NOOO

Tolkien’s crybaby: STOP IT

fattymcfatson: yall are not gonna believe what clyde just said

standarsh: oh god

DollaDolla: what did that idiot say

queen: Clyde it better not be about another girl

Tolkien’s crybaby: NEVER IT WAS NOTHING

Tolkien’s crybaby: SHUT UP CARTMAN

mob boss: he said “i wouldnt mind a 12”

mob boss: and scott said “like attractiveness?”

fattymcfatson: OH CAN I SAY HEIDI

fattymcfatson: PLEASE PLEASEEEE

mob boss: yes

fattymcfatson: CLYDE REPLIED WITH “no, year old!” and WIGGLED HIS TONGUE

fattymcfatson: I CANT BAHAHAH

standarsh: SICK CLYDE

Asshole: clyde why are you a groomer now

Tolkien’s crybaby: IT WAS A JOKE 

DollaDolla: I knew it was weird when you mentioned wanting to go to furfest

Tolkien’s crybaby: THIS JEVER HAPPENED???

John F kenny: Clyde becoming epstein part 3 was not on my bingo card

Asshole: who’s the part 2?

John F kenny: me obvi

Asshole: oh

Asshole’s: KENNY WHYVARE YOU SCHIZOPREHNIC

John F kenny: what

Asshole: he thought you said epileptic

John F kenny: No im sexy geez tweek

Asshole’s: WHY ARE YOU SEXY KENNY

John F kenny: wannaa find out ;)

Asshole: watch it hoe

Tolkien’s crybaby: MY DAD FOUND OUT WHO FUCKING TOLD HIM

fattymcfatson: 😭😭😭

Tolkien’s crybaby: HE ASKED ME IF IT WAS BECAUSE OF MY MOMS DEATH

Tolkien’s crybaby: NOW HES TELLING ME WE CAN GET HELP

Tolkien’s crybaby: YOU ASSHOLES

Asshole: hi

Asshole’s: do i count

Asshole: yes ily muah

Asshole’s: im not gay

Asshole: thats ok

Asshole: i’ll always love you :3

Asshole’s: cornball

Asshole: for u, always

Tolkien’s crybaby: STOP FLIRTING MY DAD THINKS IM A PEDOPHILE

standarsh: im leaving this gc

John F kenny: my dad thought i was a pedophile once

Chapter Text

Garrison can suck my balls:

Jewlboy: i will kill kenny mccormick

fattymcfatson: join the club

standarsh: same

hashtagWoke: honestly real

John F kenny: me too

this guy: wait

Jewlboy: i hate everything rn

queen: wow he’s not talking in perfect grammar.

John F kenny: its ok kylely-boo

John F kenny: i know shoplifting is misogynistic

standarsh: what

queen: shoplifting???

fattymcfatson: kenny wtf are you talking

Tolkien’s crybaby: everytime i check this chat i see kenny saying the dumbest shit 

John F kenny: I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW CLYDE

John F kenny: IT WAS KYLE WHO SAID THAT

fattymcfatson: ofc the jew thinks the littlest thing is a slight

fattymcfatson: anything offends that fag

Jewlboy: SHUT THE FUCK UP FATASS

Jewlboy: I FUCKING HATE YOU

John F kenny: goddamn i love angry kyle dont you stan 🤤 

standarsh: fuckk yeah i do

standarsh: i mean

queen: WHAT

John F kenny: bro😭

Tolkien’s crybaby: ayo

DollaDolla: I js logged on why is stan being gay

comedian: stan try not to thirst after kyle challenge impossible

hashtagWoke: stan…

standarsh: it was a joke wendy geez

hashtagWoke: k

comedian: yeek trouble in paradise?

DollaDolla: not the time jimmy

fattymcfatson: yes the time jimmy

DollaDolla: stop trying to instigate shit cartman

fattymcfatson: stfu tolkien you dont know what its like hanging out with her

fattymcfatson: you barely even dated her back in freshman yr

DollaDolla: ???

DollaDolla: why does that matter

DollaDolla: also sybau tf? doesnt mean she deserves to get insulted??

fattymcfatson: oh boohoo tolkien

fattymcfatson: you’re probably still pressed about your breakup huh?

fattymcfatson: you still want her to think you’ll suck her clit when stan eventually fucks up again huh?

fattymcfatson: you still want her to think you can protect her from the big bad evil cartman?

hashtagWoke: cartman shut the fuck up

DollaDolla: I dont even like wendy like that

DollaDolla: I'm LITERALLY dating Nichole.

fattymcfatson: idfc anymore tolkien

fattymcfatson: just stay away from stan and wendy

DollaDolla: why do you even care??

Asshole: finally some drama

queen: I js came back and the girls are fighting

fattymcfatson: none of ur business black boy

DollaDolla: Well clearly you have a problem with me for no reason

fattymcfatson: idc abt u tolkien but wtv

queen: Cartman you literally instigated a fight for like no reason??

queen: I thought you were getting better

fattymcfatson: stfu whore

Tolkien’s crybaby: yo dont talk about bebe like that

fattymcfatson: FUCK you all fuck this

comedian: what even happened

we run dis shit:

thing 4(x4): i dont want your fucking bitching kyle

thing 4(x4): or ur excuses stan

thing4(x4): i did you a fucking favor so you fucking owe me

thing 1: I dont owe SHIT

thing 1: tf you pulling that shit man? Craig’s gang is gonna fuck your ass and I’LL have to clean it up like always

thing 1: that shit wasnt cool. now things w/ wendy are gonna get worse. you never help me you dont care

thing 4(x4): fucking dumbass

thing 4(x4): are u drunk again??? i saved your faggot ass from wendy’s wrath by making me the enemy.

thing 4(x4): i get i was a dickhead but geez stan fuck u

thing 1: whatever.

thing 3: i hate to agree with fatboy here but yeah stan

thing 3: he saved your ass at his expense. i dont think tolkien will take lightly to cartman’s accusations of cheating tho😭😭

thing 1: Wendy doesnt care about tolkien like that anyway. she’ll be pissed at cartman for a second then confront me abt that stupid joke

thing 3: was it rlly a joke tho stan?

thing 4(x4): yeah fucker that shit was too gay, even for your emo ass

thing 1: goth*, that was forever ago

thing 4(x4): still dress like it tho

thing 3: didnt denyyyy it ooooo

thing 1: not the fucking issue kenny!!! just let it go

thing 2: stan

thing 2: kenny, fat ass

thing 4(x4): man what

thing 2: Just fucking drop it. Wendy already talked to me and so did Tolkien.

thing 1: wait wait wendy went to you?

thing 2: We are all on the same AcaDec team, Stan. We’re friends.

thing 2: Anyway, yeah, she talked to me. She’ll talk to you soon but she’s not mad I guess. Tolkien agreed to back off but I don’t know if the rest of their gang will be so forgiving. I explained what Cartman was trying to do but Tolkien still was pissed (understandable).

thing 4(x4): fucking whatever as long as those assholes dont fuck me up

thing 4(x4): i still need a good rep for heidi 

thing 4(x4): why am i so niceeeeee

thing 1: thanks kyle god

thing 1: i cant ever repay you man

thing 2: You’re my Super Bestfriend man. I got your back.

thing 1: I love you Kyle

thing 2: Love you too, Stan.

Private Chat KyleB —> KennyM:

KennyM: You’re my Super Bestfriend man. I got your back.

KyleB: ken

KyleB: stfu

KennyM: I love you Kyle

KyleB: istg

KyleB: dont

KennyM: Love you too, Stan.

KyleB: u

KyleB: dare

KyleB: wow so u hate me

KennyM: im js saying kyle

KennyM: that shit gay asf surprised he didnt call u to fuck right away

KyleB: listen

KyleB: im still making my peace in my headspace with this unrequited bullshit or wtv tweek calls it.

KennyM: u still in the creek therapy chat lol

KyleB: yeah ig

KyleB: when tweek’s online craig is a bumbbling idiot who just nods along to wtv he says, which is usually good advice

KyleB: when tweek’s gone tho, he’s suddenly an asshole and he js insults me

KennyM: i mean come on its craig

KennyM: has he even helped you at all?

KyleB: well

KennyM: ooo

KennyM: did he give you a blowie 👀 

KennyM: dont worry i wont tell tweek

KyleB: shut up kenny omfg

KyleB: he was the one who suggested i talk to you abt stan ig

KennyM: oh

Hot Pink Barbs (+ Wendy):

mcwhoremick: “oh” IM GONNA KMS

bebabe: oh god what happened now

John: WHAT

Priv Chat:

KennyM: well do you think thats good advice?

KennyM: considering we like

KennyM: barely talked about Stan ystrday

KyleB: even tho we didnt yknow

KyleB: it felt nice not to think about him with u

KennyM: sure

Hot Pink Barbs (+ Wendy):

mcwhoremick: “sure” IM COOKED

bebabe: kenny sweetie

bebabe: tf u on about

John: OH HESUS

Priv Chat:

KyleB: u ok kenny?

KennyM: ya y?

KyleB: idk ur being short with me

KennyM: idk if you can be talking tbh☝️

KyleB: YOU FUCKER

KyleB: WE’RE THE SAME HEIGHT

KennyM: i cant hear you over my added 2 inches sighh

KyleB: IM GONNA KILL YOU KENNY

KennyM: i wouldnt mind if you were the cause of one my deaths kyle

KyleB: what

KennyM: haha joke haha

KyleB: ????

KennyM: wanna hang tmr after school

KennyM: i got dis new skateboard 👅 

KyleB: sure but ima be late cuz i got acadec shit

KennyM: alrightyyyy Kyleyyyy

KyleB: dont call me that

Hot Pink Barbs (+ Wendy):

mcwhoremick: “alrightyyyy Kyleyyyy” KILL MEEE (again)

bebabe: WHAT ARE U SPOUTINGG

mcwhoremick: DUMBASS HIE WHAT DO YOU THINK

mcwhoremick: I KEEP FUMBLING AHHHH

bebabe: WITH KYLE??

John: OH DEARheksbc

butter toast: geez ken are those ur replies?

mcwhoremick: YES

butter toast: oh my

John: REALLY??

bebabe: yikes

bebabe: 100% fumbling 😭🙏

mcwhoremick: i cant take it anymore

mcwhoremick changed to 🏳️‍🌈🫷kenny🫸🏳️‍🌈

🏳️‍🌈🫷kenny🫸🏳️‍🌈: my true form

bebabe: NAH

butter toast: holy crap ken

John: HOMohPpHOBIA??!?

🏳️‍🌈🫷kenny🫸🏳️‍🌈: im turning straight fuck this stupid world

🏳️‍🌈🫷kenny🫸🏳️‍🌈: if u gay walk away ✊

Priv Chat:

KyleB: just so u know. im not js hanging iut with u cuz stan isnt paying attention to me. like, ur genuinely still one of my best friends and i dont like love stan more than u. friendship wise yknow. idl why im even saying this i js

KyleB: i just want you to know i care about yiu too

KyleB: and if stan comes around again i wont

KyleB: i wint abandon you

Hot Pink Barbs (+ Wendy):

🏳️‍🌈🫷kenny🫸🏳️‍🌈changed to mclovemick

bebabe: OHH???

mclovemick: 2026 my year fr

PrivChat:

KennyM: np man im not worried

KennyM: you got a good heart

KennyM: and ur amazing. stan’ll realize

KennyM: he’s not the best at his feelings either. idk how he feels but dont give up hope ok?

KennyM: ill always be here

Garrison can suck my balls:

Asshole’s: psshhshhhhsshhhhhshahshhhhsps

Asshole’s: psssahshshsssssshhhs

Tolkien’s crybaby: OH SHITTT WE GOT TWO IN ONE MONTH

queen: IM SO WINNING THIS ONE

fattymcfatson: SHOWER IS MY GUESS

fattymcfatson: SHOWERRRR SHOWER

Jewlboy: How do you know what that is you’ve never taken one.

fattymcfatson: im getting Mr. hat to molest u 

this guy: is it a bug? like a cicada?

standarsh: HEY

standarsh: that was my last guess and i got flamed

queen: cuz u said retarded

queen: and ur retarded

standarsh: bebe, ur lucky clyde is right next to me and would beat me up if i trashed on you

Tolkien’s crybaby: damn straight!

John F kenny: “straight” in ref to stan is 😂😂

standarsh: what does that even mean

Asshole: special round this time since we faced a homophobe yesterday. winner gets 50.

John F kenny: WHATT

Tolkien’s crybaby: BRO IS IT A LAWN MOWER?

standarsh: what lawn mower goes psshshshshs

Tolkien’s crybaby: a broken one?

Jewlboy: That would be oddly specific….

John F kenny: IS IT A UHHHHH

John F kenny: UHHHHHHH

fattymcfatson: VACCUM

mob boss: is it a hose?

fattymcfatson: shit thats a good guess heidi

mob boss: im awesome ik

fattymcfatson: lets not lie

mob boss: :(

fattymcfatson: ANYWAY is it a hose

Asshole: ❌

fattymcfatson: FUCK U CRAIG YIU FUKCING FAG

Asshole: 🖕 

John F kenny: give me a hint guys pls i need the money

John F kenny: @Asshole’s PLS ILL GET YOU FREE LEGOS FROM THE TOY STORE

Asshole’s: WHAT

Asshole’s: YES YE SUE SYE SU EYS CLAIM CLAIM CLIMA YES YES CLAIM

Asshole: no

Asshole: turn ur phone off tweek i need my tweek time

Asshole’s: FUCK you CRISG

Asshole: yes honey and once ur here ill give u ur f-18 model

fattymcfatson: awww

Jewlboy: stfu fatass u js called him the f slur

fattymcfatson: SHUT IT JEW IDFGAF

Asshole’s: i love you craig

Asshole: j

Asshole: im sooooooooo happy rn

Asshole: ❤️ 

queen: god i hate gay people

John F kenny: god i love gay people 🤤

queen: disgusting 

Jewlboy: was it an air compressor 

Asshole: ✅ 

fattymcfatson: WHAT

standarsh: KYLE HOW

queen: fuck u kyle and ur super best friend ass

John F kenny: 😍😍😍😍 love me a rich man

standarsh: kenny kys

Chapter Text

dick n balls:

pubic hair: GUYS GUYS GUYS

pubic hair: RED ALERT RED ALERT

standard test: tf are u on about Clyde

pubic hair: /5

pubic hair: :STAB

pubic hair: STAN WE HAVE TO HELP SCOTT

standard test: why

pubic hair: he found IT

standard test: ??

standard test: found what

pimp: the most terriblist thing ever stan

pimp: oh gee i felt so bad for the guy but its so worth it

standard test: what was it??

f word: oh god scott found it? goddamn it

f word: @you know what I have hand it over

pubic hair: NO CARTMAN

pubic hair: SCOTT FOUND IT FIRST

f word: shut the fuck up clyde idc

f word: give it to me scott

you know what I have: i cant do that eric

f word: mother fucker

f word: give it now

blondass: hi guys i ate a burrito

f word: no one cares kenny

you know what I have: i cant let you win eric

f word: scott you cannot be srs

standard test: wtf are you guys talking about

standard test: what did you find

kyley b: Mr. Garrison's pregnancy test.

standard test: what.

standard test: no fucking way

kyley b: @blondass was the burrito good?

you know what I have: stan i need you to stop eric from finding me

pubic hair: you have to help us stan

standard test: first of all, im not stopping cartman cuz i dont want him whining later

standard test: second of all, why the FUCK do you guys have mr garrison’s pregnancy test????????

pubic hair: thats not important rn

f word: fuck this

you know what I have: help

you know what I have: he’s at my classroom

you know what I have: its a study hall fuck

pubic hair: CARTMAN STOP

blondass: it was yummy my sweet kyle

kyley b: glad to hear !

blondass: it was free too so it tasted even better 

kyley b: free?

pubic hair: YOU CANNOT STOP WHAT HAS ALREADY BEGUN. YOU MUST LET SCOTT DO IT

blondass: ya dogpoo got it for me cuz i helped him fix his car

kyley b: wow thats great kenny

kyley b: if u ever want food, dude i got u too yknow

blondass: i couldnt ask that of you man

kyley b: u always can

f word: get this faggot shit oughta here i need to beat up scott

you know what I have: touch me and ill destroy it

f word: NO

f word: NONO FUCK YOU SCOTT FUCK YOU

f word: IM TELLING HEIDI

pubic hair: 😭😭😭

blondass: ty kyle

Private Chat StanM —> KyleB:

StanM: yo 

KyleB: wsp stan

StanM: i noticed u and kenny getting closer

KyleB: ok?

StanM: its like

StanM: shit this is awkward

KyleB: ya it kinda is

KyleB: why do you care? we’re all friends

StanM: shit its just

KyleB: stan

StanM: Im sorry

KyleB: for what dude?

StanM: im sorry for blowing you off

StanM: im sorry for everything rlly

StanM: i thought that if i ignored it it would go away

StanM: turns out that meant ignoring you

KyleB: stan, what are you talking about??

StanM: shit im horrible at this

StanM: just know that im sorry ive been ignoring you lately

KyleB: hey

KyleB: its fine just

StanM: idrc if youre closer with kenny. btw.

StanM: i honestly just needed an excuse to dm u

KyleB: ive seen your dick and you have to come up with excuses to text me an apology?

StanM: yeah i kinda realize how stupid that was

KyleB: it is

KyleB: but thats okay

StanM: i love you kyle

KyleB: me too stan

StanM: youre a good friend

KyleB: you too

meanwhile…

Private Chat EricC —> HeidiT:

EricC: heidi

EricC: hediidididi

EricC: WHORE

HeidiT: what do you want eric

HeidiT: im at the mall rn

EricC: sorry to ruin your womany duties

HeidiT: It’s not really womanly when tweek is here but go off

EricC: wait tweek’s there? PERFECT

HeidiT: why?

EricC: i have gossip

HeidiT: you dont

HeidiT: is it about KKS?

EricC: yes

HeidiT: you fat son of a bitch

EricC: FUCK YOU

HeidiT: ok ok, should i let tweek know or fc?

EricC: well if my calculations are correct i think our “plan” will be set in motion. i just gotta pick who and who

HeidiT: srsly how do you live with yourself

EricC: anyway

EricC: its gc time no fc

HeidiT: OH ok ill make it then.

HeidiT: also dinner with my parents tonight. they almost caught me with esther so damage control. is that ok?

EricC: yeah wtv

EricC: did you use the burner i gave you??? i made butters suck so much dick for that

HeidiT: I did!!! it was a letter they found

HeidiT: ugh ill explain tonight cuz i need to know the drama first

EricC: fine fine

EricC: what time?

HeidiT: 6:30

EricC: k ill let my mom know

EricC: time for operation KKS

HeidiT created a Group Chat

HeidiT renamed Group Chat to Operation KKS

HeidiT changed 5 usernames

mastermind: FUCK YEAHHHH

Realmastermind: hi guys

spazfuck: WHAT

fagahomoguy: what the fuck is this

bimbo: holy shit

bimbo: im in a gc with THE craig tucker

fagahomoguy: who are u

bimbo: kenny but i could be yours

fagahomoguy: no

spazfuck: gayGYA GAY GAY

fagahomoguy: for u only

spazfuck: 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

fagahomoguy: @spazfuck come back home

fagahomoguy: they’re turning u against me

Realmastermind: ive done nothing

Realmastermind: except maybe bebe lol

mastermind: alright gossip girls

Realmastermind: ew no

mastermind: we have the opportunity to get two of my DISGUSTING GAY friends to FUCK

mastermind: and only one of them is here. he needs our help. and since im so fucking awesome and ive healed, im offering my services for FREE

fagahomoguy: ok

fagahomoguy: so why are me and tweek here

mastermind: u guys git your gay ass therapy gc scam thing right?

fagahomoguy: oh yeah

mastermind: then you understand 

spazfuck: ARE twe HLEPING KENNY FUCK KYLE ????!?

fagahomoguy: tweek

mastermind: I WAS RIGHT

bimbo: TWEEK WHAT THE FUCK

Realmastermind: oh my goodness

spazfuck: oops

spazfuck: BYE

Realmastermind: he just looked at me and shook his head then ran

Realmastermind: he can run really fast oh my. the mall cop thought he was stealing at first

fagahomoguy: ill go pick him up brb

mastermind: any fucking way

mastermind: so u want to get into kyle’s panties kensters

bimbo: boooooo

bimbo: u got me