Chapter Text
They found Adrien’s body in the wreckage later that evening. Marinette vividly remembered seeing it on the news. The newscaster, she remembered, warned viewer discretion right before they showed the pictures. Her father, too, had advised that, perhaps, she shouldn’t look, but his words had fallen on deaf ears. Marinette had to see this – she had to know for certain that she had seen Adrien trapped against that building, trapped against it where Chat Noir should have been. It might not have been him, after all. It might have been a trick of her eyes, or a trick of the akumatized villain.
Does that make it any better? a voice in her mind had asked. Chat Noir was your friend, too. He loved you. Adrien didn’t.
Marinette still hadn’t quite wrapped her mind around the fact that Chat Noir was Adrien.
The pictures were every bit as graphic and bloody as she had feared: Adrien’s head, bashed in, blood and brains splattered across the debris and ground. One of his arms splayed out, bent at an awkward, unthinkable angle. And the red foam was there – oh it was there, but it had been scraped away somehow, leaving the rest of his broken and battered body in full view of the camera. His legs, one bisected by a rock at the thigh. His torso, smashed in.
The list went on.
A bloodcurdling scream echoed in the house, and it took her mother turning off the TV to realize that the shrieking wasn’t coming from someone else – she was shrieking. Tears stung her eyes, cascading down her face. Marinette clawed at their wet trails, as if she could rip off the sorrow like a Band-Aid. Her parents both tried to embrace her, but she pushed them away before she knew she was doing it. She ran up to her room and threw the first thing she could find. Her diary smacked into her bed with a satisfying thwump.
“Marinette, wait!” It was Tikki. “Trashing your room won’t solve anything!”
“What am I supposed to do?” Marinette said through her sobs. “I let him die, Tikki! It was my idea to try and corner the Chemist like that! Now Adrien and everyone else in that building are dead!”
“Marinette, I know this is hard. Please, believe me, I know. But now, the Butterfly is even more dangerous! He has the Black Cat Miraculous of destruction. Do you know what this means? He can give his supervillains the ability to obliterate on a massive scale! He already created that red foam; just imagine what his next villain will be like! You can’t give up!”
“I know! “Marinette snapped. Then, more gently, “I know.” All the energy that had built up seemed to evaporate then, leaving her as she fell to the floor in a puddle of grief and guilt and tears. “But I don’t know what else to do.”
“Oh, Marinette.” Tikki hovered by her friend’s side, spreading her tiny arms as far as they would go on Marinette’s cheek. “You’re going to get through this. I know you can. I think what you need is a good night’s sleep right now.”
“Marinette!?” Tom’s voice came through the attic floor. “Are you okay?”
She got down on her knees and cracked the trap door open a smidge, barely peeking out. “I… I really need to be alone right now, Dad. I’m sorry.”
After a pause, Tom said, “It’s okay, sweetie.” But his calm words belied his anxious voice.
Marinette didn’t remember climbing into her bed when she woke up the next morning. She was still wearing her clothing – no pajamas, and she didn’t bother showering or changing into a fresh outfit.
When she arrived in the kitchen she found her parents there, a tender, yet worried expression on each of their faces. They each sat at the table, looking at Marinette as she entered the room with troubled eyes.
“Sweetie,” Tom said gently, gesturing towards a seat. Marinette took it, not making eye contact with either of them, embarrassed of how she’d pushed them away last night. “Your mother and I have been talking…”Tom’s voice tapered off, as if he were unsure of what to say next.
“And,” Sabine picked up, “we’re worried about you. We know you and Adrien were friends, but your reaction last night was a bit… extreme. If you need to tell us anything, we’re here to listen.”
“Everything’s fine!” Marinette said quickly. Too quickly, if the disbelieving look on her parents’ face was anything to go by.
“Are you sure, sweetie?” Tom pressed. “It’s just, your grades were tanking for a while and you weren’t around as much, and now this… we’re scared, Marinette. So, so scared for you. If you don’t feel you can talk to us, we can get you a therapist-”
“No!” Marinette found herself yelling all of a sudden. “I mean, no. I appreciate it, but right now, I just want to go to school.”
Tom and Sabine shared a look that Marinette couldn’t quite read. “Alright,” said Sabine after a pause. “But we’d like you to think about seeing a counselor.”
Marinette nodded. “I’ll think about it.”
“Also… There’s a memorial service this evening for Chat N- I mean, Adrien. Do you want to go?”
Marinette wanted to say yes – she wanted to so, so badly – but it was probably better that Ladybug made an appearance. “No,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m not sure I can handle that.” It was, at least technically, the truth.
Chloé was thankfully absent from school that day. Marinette overheard Sabrina saying something about Chloé needing to pick out the right dress for her Adrihoney’s funeral. Judging by the look on her face, Alya very definitely wanted to say something about that, but didn’t. Marinette felt a hand on hers as she sat down at her desk – Alya’s. “Thanks, Alya,” she said softly. The rest of the school day passed by in a haze, only vague snippets of it remaining in Marinette’s memory.
The last bell rang at 4:30. Marinette sneaked off to the girl’s bathroom before Alya could say anything about the funeral, not wanting to lie about going.
Tikki piped up right as Marinette was about to transform. “You know, maybe you should go as Marinette. Chat Noir’s partner might have been Ladybug, but Adrien’s friend was Marinette.”
She shook her head slowly. “I can’t, Tikki. I just… I’m not strong enough.”
***
It was sunny. So, so, so unbearably sunny. A gentle, awful wind blew, rustling Ladybug’s hair. She stood behind the mayor and Adrien’s father in front of the Agreste manor. The crowd of mourners was surprisingly small given who had died. Or, Marinette wondered, maybe people had felt that they only had the right to come if they had known Adrien. She smiled a little despite herself, thankful for the respect.
Among the bereaved stood Nino and Alya, Nino crying into Alya’s shoulder. Chloé, too, was there, on the other side of Nino and Ladybug was surprised to see that she actually did seem upset, even distraught. Instead of carrying herself with her usual haughtiness and larger-than-life self-centered extravagance, she wore a plain black dress. She stared at her hands. For a moment, it even looked as if she were going to say something to Nino, but a death glare from Alya ended that.
The mayor – he had been cut out of the white foam late last night, according to the morning news – was saying something, what exactly, Ladybug would never quite remember. What she did remember was when Gabriel Agreste made his speech.
“My son,” he spoke, his voice solemn and restrained, “was an extraordinary young man. He modeled, he fenced, he spoke Chinese, all while achieving a near-perfect standing at school and fighting evil in the most direct of ways possible, putting himself on the front lines of battle regularly. For that, I am thankful. I will never forget your smile, Adrien. I will never forget what you meant to me. I hope that, wherever you are, you are with your mother.”
He pivoted around and gestured for Ladybug to make her speech. She was about to step forward, when suddenly: “That’s it?” Nino’s incredulous voice echoed. “That’s all you’re going to say about your son?”
“Nino, be quiet!” Alya hissed.
“You never let him go to school before this year! You never even threw him a birthday party!” Nino shrieked. “You were not a cool father! You were way distant and way controlling! Say more, man!” Tears were rolling freely down his face as everyone stared, Ladybug included. “Tell us about a time he made you laugh or cry or he broke a house rule or whatever! Just say something! For once in your life, be his dad!”
Ladybug heard his assistant whisper, “Mr. Agreste, should I have him removed?”
Gabriel shook his head, instead turning back around and walking towards Nino, who had stopped yelling. His eyes had gone wide with fear and embarrassment, and he trembled slightly as Gabriel came closer. Finally, he stood before Nino.
“Nino… Lahiffe, was it?” Gabriel said, and without waiting for a response plowed on. “You were a bad influence on my son, but I am glad you cared about him. Now either stop ruining his funeral or get out.”
“Fine,” Nino acquiesced, but continued to look angry as Gabriel walked away.
Ladybug stood before the mic, and began to speak, desperately trying not to cry. “Chat Noir… he was my partner. He was always flirting with me, always trying to come onto me, but he was my partner. That was actually the first thing he ever called me. Not “my lady,” but “partner.” I wish I had seen how right he had been before… before he was taken from us.” Her voice was getting choked up now, and she very much wanted to stop. But an image of Adrien’s body, mangled and mutilated, popped into her head, and she found the strength to go on. “And who took him from us? The Butterfly. If you can hear me, Butterfly, know this: Your time is running out. I’m going to find you, and I’m going to bring you to justice. Create as many supervillains as you want, but I’ll stop every single one of them, and then I’ll find you. There’s nowhere to run! Chat Noir will be avenged!”
It took Ladybug a moment to realize she had started yelling. Before she could feel embarrassed, she turned around and took her place beside Gabriel and the mayor.
***
The next few weeks passed without any akumatized villains appearing, which was just as well in Marinette’s opinion. More time to look for the Butterfly’s lair. When she had said she was going to find him, she meant it. Every night after her bedtime, she would transform into Ladybug and prowl the streets of Paris, jumping from rooftop to rooftop, looking for something, anything that might be a clue.
So far, she had found nothing.
“Marinette,” Tikki said early one Sunday morning as they returned from a night of searching. “Maybe you should take a break from searching. Just for tonight.”
“No,” was Marinette’s firm reply, followed by a yawn. “I’m not-“ another yawn “-giving him any more time than he’s already had. “
“You’re losing sleep, Marinette.” Tikki flew up into the air above Marinette’s bed as the girl lay down. Her room had undergone a transformation in the past few weeks – namely, all the posters of Adrien had been taken down, stuffed into her closet. Marinette just couldn’t bear looking at them.
“That’s why I’m napping now,” Marinette grumbled, bringing the covers over her head.
“That’s not what I meant,” Tikki protested, but didn’t press the matter, and Marinette drifted into slumber.
That was when she had the first dream about Chat Noir. It was simple, compared to the ones that came later – just his body, bisected at the waist, blood seeping out both gaps. But it was enough to tear her from sleep. She jolted upright in bed, a short, sharp shriek escaping her lips.
“Just a dream…” she realized. “It was just a dream…”
“Marinette?” It was Tikki.
“I’m fine,” Marinette said, and repeated, “It was just a dream.”
Marinette’s parents burst through the trap door just then. Tikki hid behind a pillow just before they could see her.
“Marinette!?” Sabine asked, her features contorted in worry. “Is everything alright?”
Marinette lied that it was.
***
Another week and a half went by, and Marinette was running out of places to search. There hadn’t been any supervillains, luckily enough, but Marinette knew that her luck would soon run out. Why the Butterfly was waiting so long to akumatize someone, she could only speculate on but she would find him before he did. She’d skipped class that morning, despite protests from Tikki, and then again that afternoon.
She was in the park, staring at some increasingly angry and then increasingly worried texts from her parents. She hadn’t replied to any of them.
“You’re going to have to reply eventually, Marinette,” Tikki said as the clouds began to roll in. The wind was picking up too, and Marinette realized it was going to rain soon.
But she had one place left to search. She told Tikki her idea, and even she had to admit it was a possibility.
“Alright then,” Marinette decided. “It’s settled. Let’s go.”
“But,” Tikki objected, “what about your parents? They must be so upset right now. At least go see them.”
Marinette sighed. “Yeah, you’re right… I’ll go apologize for skipping school.”
But when Marinette arrived at her parents’ bakery, events did not go as she had expected them to. Despite the hour, the bakery was closed. As she pushed open the door, she saw her parents standing behind the counter.
“Marinette. We need to talk.” Her mother’s voice was firm, and her jaw set, and Marinette knew she should have gone to school that day. She put on a brave face, the bravest she could, and nodded to show she understood.
“Let’s go to the living room,” Tom said. “It’s more comfortable there.”
Marinette nodded again and followed her parents. By the way they spoke, she could tell they’d been planning this all afternoon, maybe longer.
She sat down on the couch opposite her parents. Her apology caught in the back of her throat, and she knew she must have looked like an idiot with her mouth half open. But how could she explain to her parents what was going on? They couldn’t know she was Ladybug for their own safety.
“Your father and I,” Sabine said, “are very disappointed in you, Marinette. Skipping school is not allowed in this household. But more than that, we are worried for you. We know you must be going through unimaginable pain after the loss of your friend, but how you’ve been this past month and a half is not healthy.” Marinette opened her mouth to protest, but Sabine silenced her by putting her hand up. “It isn’t, Marinette. You’re behind on sleep, you’re waking up screaming in the middle of the night, your grades have been abysmal, you haven’t talked to Alya once since the funeral – you can’t go on like this. You understand that, don’t you Marinette?”
Marinette looked down at her lap. Finally, she said, “Yes, Mom.” Her voice was quiet, a hint of a breeze that one might barely notice tickling them.
“We love you, Marinette,” Tom said. “Which is why we’ve decided that you need a change.”
This caught Marinette by surprise. She looked up. “Mom, Dad, I don’t understand. What do you mean?”
Tom sighed. “You remember my sister Colette from Porquerolles? You and I are going to be living with her for a while, while your mother stays here to run the bakery. We think the country will be good for you.”
Marinette let out a half-laugh, not quite sure of what she was hearing. “Wh-what? Mom, Dad, I can’t leave Paris.”
Sabine shook her head. “Your father and I want what’s best for you, Marinette, and this is the best thing we can think of. We know it’ll be hard, but we don’t’ know what else to do.”
The reality that her parents were serious began to sink in for Marinette – and she felt her chest tighten. “No, really,” she said. “I can’t leave Paris.”
“Marinette, this is not your decision.”
“It’ll be alright, sweetie,” Tom said. “Porqeurolles is a lovely place, and your Aunt Colette is very excited to be seeing you. Now, go get some rest. We’re leaving first thing tomorrow morning.”
Marinette stayed frozen in her seat on the couch, her whole body rigid.
Thunder clapped, and it began to rain outside, but just at a tinkle.
“Marinette?” Sabine began. “We’re not angry at-“
Marinette bolted up off the couch, dashing for the front door.
“Marinette!” Sabine yelled, running after her daughter. “Get back here!”
But she didn’t. She grabbed as many cookies as she could from a display in the bakery shoving them into her purse, and sprinted out into the rain.
“Marinette, what are you doing?” Tikki demanded. “This won’t solve anything!”
Marinette didn’t reply, doing her best to drown out her parents calling after her. She rounded a corner, and without missing a beat, said, “Tikki! Transform me!”
Ladybug threw her yoyo high into the sky, and was off as it launched her onto a rooftop. Her destination: the Place Denfert-Rochereau.
The entrance to the Catacombs of Paris.
***
Ladybug shone a lamp to illuminate the dark, damp tunnel. Bones lined the walls, and a horrible stench filled her nose. She wanted to wretch, but found she could not, she stepped forward, putting one foot in front of the other as best she could, holding up the lamp. In her other hand, she held her yoyo, its screen revealed. On it was displayed a map of the Catacombs. Having a magic GPS built into her weapon certainly came in handy sometimes. Especially, she reflected, when you’ve been exploring a closed-off area of the Catacombs for three hours.
Only a small section of the Catacombs were open to the public, and, Ladybug suspected, the Butterfly’s hideout was somewhere in the closed off area. As she walked, she tried to ignore the queasy sensation in her stomach, but to no avail. Tikki had been right; she shouldn’t have run out of her house like that. Now, she had to find the Butterfly, because she certainly couldn’t go home, and oh god, her parents had to be worried sick and it was all her fault, but she couldn’t go home, not until she’d found the Butterfly and shit this was her last chance wasn’t it because if she went home she’d have to go to the other side of the country, but she couldn’t go, she couldn’t, and oh shit shit shit shit shit –
Ladybug’s legs suddenly felt very weak, so very weak, and she fell to her knees, her hand with the lamp in it against the wall of bone. Tears trickled down her face as sobs wracked her body and echoed in the underground passageway. She thought back to when she first got her Miraculous, how sure she was that she wasn’t cut out to be Ladybug, and oh, she had been right, she wasn’t cut out to be Ladybug and her carelessness had killed Adrien, and she just wanted everything to stop for a little while so she could just get away from it all, leave and go somewhere else because maybe her parents were right and she did need that –
Her earrings chirped. Ladybug heard them and her sobs intensified. She was going to detransform, and she hadn’t even used her Lucky Charm, but she’d have to face Tikki and if she saw her, she’d tell her she’d given up and couldn’t be Ladybug anymore, she wouldn’t be able to control herself and Tikki would be so disappointed.
Her earrings beeped a second time and she looked up from the ground. A bright white light blinded her for a moment and she had to cover her face with her arm before she realized the light was moving, coming closer to her.
And no sooner had she realized that then did everything go dark. The next thing she heard was the sound of cars in the distance. There was a strange sensation beneath her, and she realized she was lying flat on her stomach on wet grass.
Her eyes fluttered open and she saw that it was early evening, the light around her tinted golden. She slowly lifted herself to her feet and looked about. There was a city in the distance, though certainly not one she had ever seen before. “Tikki…?” she groaned. “Where am I…?” Her temples throbbed, and she brought her hand to her head – and let out a yelp. There was something wrong with her face. It was all fuzzy, and...
Her hand. Her hand was white and covered in fur. She frantically felt her whole body and found that it was the same – white, and covered in fur. If she tensed her fingertips, little claws popped out. She ran, frantically, trying to get way from she didn’t even know what, and hit her head smack on a support beam of the bridge.
“Ow…”
And then she saw herself reflected in the metal of the beam: She was a cat. But not a regular cat, some sort of weird, human-cat hybrid. Her breathing quickened and her headache got worse. She heard Tikki calling out to her from somewhere nearby, but she couldn’t focus on her words. Everything looked blurry, her chest was tight, and one question dominated her mind:
What in the world had happened?