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Archivist by day, Archivist by night by starspangledbread
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
18 Aug 2022
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Summary
Jonathan Sims does not believe in the supernatural, thank you very much. But when he wakes up one morning with what he thinks are possibly the world's worst superpowers, he realizes that both his reputation as a skeptic and new identity as a vigilante are in danger from his overly curious boss and nosy coworkers...
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What if season 1 Jon picked up on the Beholding abilities early, and came to the reasonable conclusion that he was psychic.
He hates it.
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Enemies to Lovers: JonMartin Speedrun Edition by BaySprout
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
14 Aug 2022
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“This isn’t a fucking dream, Tim!” Her friend only laughs.
“Of course it is, Sasha. Because if this isn’t a dream, then Jon and Martin really stopped mid argument to make out with each other and hug like reunited lovers, and now our boss really is holding our other boss in place with magic word powers while sweet, loveable, clumsy, tea-making Martin brutally tears out his eyes with a fucking corkscrew.” He pauses. “Oh, and then began repeatedly stabbing him in the heart with a pocket knife.”
Sasha looks back over, and sure enough, Martin has discarded the gory corkscrew and tackled Elias to the ground, now plunging the knife into Elias’s chest.
“Oh, my god,” she breathes, and maybe Tim is right, because this really can’t be happening right now.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,729
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 102
- Kudos:
- 2,421
- Bookmarks:
- 391
- Hits:
- 10,585
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The Improbability of Carcinisation by leodesic
Fandoms: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
06 Jun 2025
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“Elrond,” the Fëanorian said in a gentle voice, “that’s a crab.”
Elrond is convinced he has found Maglor, or at least all that is left of him, in the form of a crab. His friends and family are not so sure.
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Tom & Harry vs Star Wars by Wamescat
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson & Dave Wolverton
14 Oct 2025
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Tom and Harry reincarnate together after each death and have been at this for a while. They appear on Melida Daan, and Harry has feelings about adults killing children; Tom just wants an empire.
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Latte Art by WhydYouMakeHotNoodlesOnSuchAHotDay
Fandoms: Blue Period (Manga), Blue Period (Anime)
01 Jan 2022
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Yatora accidentally drinks coffee before art class. Over the next few hours, he drunkenly works on the beach scene that he was assigned to paint, but is unsure about whether it ended up being too horny.
Series
- Part 3 of fics about Blue Period
- Part 10 of Best of WhydYouMakeHotNoodlesOnSuchAHotDay!
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Accursed Spawn by elvntari, shineoftherainbow
Fandoms: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
18 Jun 2019
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In his most dire moment, Gil-galad is confronted with a terrible revelation: impossible, and yet impossible to contest. What is the secret of his parentage? With the wonders of hindsight, many secrets will be revealed.
Or: we had a terrible idea and you're gonna have to like it
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,528
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 64
- Kudos:
- 624
- Bookmarks:
- 159
- Hits:
- 5,566
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The witchers' stalker by Ledgea
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
17 Jun 2020
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Jaskier's inability to knock and his bad luck get him a new nickname : the witchers' stalker.
Jaskier is just trying to survive his encounters with rude witchers, Geralt is grumpy and doesn't use his words and the witchers are wondering if they deserve what is happening to them.
Surely no one deserves to be walked in on by a stumbling idiot who always insists that he didn't mean to disturb them.Series
- Part 1 of The witchers' grapevine
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 43,547
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 238
- Kudos:
- 1,217
- Bookmarks:
- 181
- Hits:
- 13,143
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Impersonation is a crime by everdeen6
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
15 Dec 2022
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This wasn't good. He needed an excuse. A believable one, that explained why he was in a dark alley in the middle of the night fighting monsters.
Hold up. He wasn't the only one fighting in the dead of the night. There was a friendly neighborhood superhero who did the same thing.
"I'm spiderman."
~
Or the fic where Percy lies to get out of a sticky situation, to one of the only people who know the truth.
Series
- Part 5 of PJO/Marvel oneshots
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John's BAMFness and Sherlock's damsel-in-distress act are caught forever on camera. So Scotland Yard can mock. A lot.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,835
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 177
- Kudos:
- 6,898
- Bookmarks:
- 1,344
- Hits:
- 62,607
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Another Accidental Apprentice Acquisition by aliceinwonderpants for BoliTheSenate
Fandoms: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars - All Media Types
26 Feb 2023
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Sheev Palpatine is a Jedi, like his father before him. That is to say, they both showed up at the Coruscant Temple, declared themselves Jedi shaped and somehow weren't immediately escorted off the premises.
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The Jaster Mereel School Of Cover IDs by BoliTheSenate
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types
22 Feb 2023
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"Oh no," thinks Feemor, "a fellow Jedi in distress!"
"Ouch," thinks Mand'alor Jaster Mereel.
In which Nerd Jaster's love for larping brings on a case of serious mistaken identity and he gets spirited away to the Jedi Temple.
Not that he is complaining, he's getting free access to the Archives (score!), copious amounts of ade (double score!!) and highly engaging discourse with fellow history-enthusiasts (triple score!!!)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,043
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 316
- Kudos:
- 2,761
- Bookmarks:
- 1,015
- Hits:
- 18,893
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Just a Spoonful by TheSleepiestDreamer
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
30 Dec 2020
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A new food arrives in Kaer Morhen, and the Wolves have an interesting response.
(It's peanut butter)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,083
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 65
- Kudos:
- 2,051
- Bookmarks:
- 238
- Hits:
- 18,209
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mr cogito and the little creature by astranix, justprompts
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
13 Jan 2024
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“It's like my worst fucking nightmare,” Benson says, still laughing uncontrollably. “What's worse than Tom Riddle? Trick question! Two Tom Riddles!”
The one in which Tom Riddle is extremely confused, Mrs. Cole is AWOL, and Harry Potter has a Very Cunning Plan.
Series
- Part 1 of all plates are cracked by mr nobody
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This is fun.
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Gwent: Wolfland Deck by starlight_spider
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
03 Jan 2024
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Lambert grinned and pulled it out, a deck of Gwent cards and on top staring back at him was his own face and name. “I’m a fucking Gwent card!” He showed it off proudly and Gweld pulled the other cards to himself.
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We are all luminous beings by MarbleGlove
Fandoms: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, The Muppets - All Media Types
17 Jul 2022
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"Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter." Yoda, Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back.
Some Jedi are more force sensitive than others. And then there's the Jedi who aren't so much force-sensitive as straight up force beings who have somehow acquired a physical body. The clone troops roll with it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 710
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 190
- Kudos:
- 1,419
- Bookmarks:
- 292
- Hits:
- 9,246
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This would actually be somewhat terrifying, a being so beyond others comprehension that it must send a scrap of its power (its hand, if you will) to inhabit a puppet as to not destroy all it touches. Reminds me a little of that tumbr post about muppet reproduction, and one of theories brought forward was that muppet parents craft a puppet and attempt to summon a hand to inhabit it.
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Here Comes the Groom('s Father) by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle
Fandoms: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
10 Sep 2019
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"Sir?" Charon called, shoving a soul away when they tried to jump in the boat "What's the verdict?"
Hades tossed him the drachma and sighed.
"Technically...No rules were broken. It appears Mr. Snuffle Puff's spirit will meet the judges of the Underworld." He said and looked down at the cat. "Good luck."
"Mister who now?" Charon asked, eyes sparkling for a moment as Hades glowered at him. Mr. Snuffle Puff jumped on the boat, knocking Charon's sack of coins into the river as he did so. "Son of - you'll be judged of that!" Charon scowled, trying to grab at the coins. Hades sighed walked away. He really hated Estelle Blofis.
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Estelle Blofis is determined to get Hades to his son's wedding. Little does she know she has been annoying him for years now. Percy loves and supports his little sister as she annoys Olympus.
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A Brief Interview by Miss_Lazy_Tuesday
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics)
09 Aug 2022
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When Damian finds a small child with an expensive camera on a rooftop in the middle of Gotham, he decides to follow in his father’s footsteps and take the boy home. After all, why should Bruce be the only one who gets to add to the family?
Damian and Tim age swap fluff.
Edit: Now with a podfic thanks to Vox_la!! Link at end of fic.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,192
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 22
- Comments:
- 638
- Kudos:
- 15,838
- Bookmarks:
- 4,385
- Hits:
- 90,570
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“As you are aware I have petitioned you a number of times for a new, younger sibling.”
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Sherlock Holmes and the Inescapable Power of the Narrative by Internally_Dead
Fandoms: Original Work, Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
13 Mar 2025
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In a world where the fictional Sherlock Holmes exists, real-life Sherlock Holmes (pronounced "Holl-mess") navigates life with the unfortunate burden of his name. Despite his parents' literary obsession, he remains unapologetic about his identity, refusing to change it despite numerous cease and desist letters from the Conan Doyle estate.
Sherlock runs a YouTube theory channel called Mysteries Unwrapped with Sherlock Holmes, focusing on lost media and fan theories, but he often finds himself solving genuine crimes. His flatmate, John, a biomedical PhD student, has become a close friend despite Sherlock’s initial reluctance to live with anyone named John. After three years, John is now dating someone with the last name Watson, further complicating Sherlock’s feelings about his narrative.
Sherlock's brother, Mycroft, may have chosen his name intentionally to annoy him, and they live on Baker Street, adding to the irony of their situation. As Sherlock grapples with the unescapable narrative of his life, he feels the weight of expectations closing in around him.
(To be clear this is a simplified version of a tumblr post, this one specifically: https://www.tumblr.com/cheeseanonioncrisps/764864950056435712)
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Meta, and kind of spirally.
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When Tom was 20 years old, the last thing he expected was to be approached by Wendy’s to collaborate on a rap album.
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- Part 2 of The Fry Verse
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“….fucking rich!”