Chapter Text
“No.”
“But--”
“I said no .”
“But it’s a good movie !”
“ Roderigo . You want t’ talk good movies, show me Prisoner of the Mountains. Show me Death and the Compass , show me fuckin’ Blade Runner . Do not show me--”
“I’ve never heard of any of those.”
“...’Course you haven’t. Fucking Philistine.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“It is when your idea of high art is the fuckin’ Room .”
“You swear too much.”
“Never tell a soldier he swears too much.”
“Why not?”
“‘Cos he’ll point yer wee moralizin’ self in the direction of his sergeant an’ tell ya “no, laddie, that bloke o’er there does one better ‘n I do, talk ‘t him ‘bout swearin’.” And the sergeant’ll whup your yellow arse flat an’ cuss a blue streak fit t’ kill yer oul mammy while doin’ it.”
“...But I thought you were a sergeant...or...something.”
“Exactly.”
“...”
“...”
“WHY DID I INVITE YOU HERE I KNEW YOU WERE GONNA SCARE ME!”
“Why’re you cryin’ like a little bitch?!”
“I can still kick you out, you know!”
“Wouldn’t do.”
“Would!”
“I don’ think so, puppy. You’d feel guilty ‘bout sendin’ yer mate out t’ sleep on a park bench ‘cos he’d get a steak knife up the arse if he went home before next day’s noon and without dark chocolate caramels.”
XXX
“‘Ow the fuck d’you not recognize your “favorite customer” when he’s got fuckin’ sunglasses on?!”
“There, see, I told you it was good! You wouldn’t be insulting it if you didn’t like it at least a little bit. And you get more Irish when you’re into stuff.”
“...Anyone ever told you you’re smarter than y’look?”
“Uh...nope.”
“Probably ‘cos you’re not.”
“Hey!”
“Oi, hush now. Thought ya liked this movie. Don’ wanna be missin’ it, now, do ya?”
XXX
“Takin’ drugs is a-- oh, Christ.”
“Have you ever taken drugs by mistake, Iago?”
“No, I bloody well haven’t. I knew exactly what they were when I took ‘em.”
XXX
“This guy’s accent is shite, this acting’s shite, Mark’s fuckin’ Lisa, an’ Johnny Boy’s a reg’lar amadan gone Bedlam way. ‘S all anyone needs t’ know.”
“Wait, Mark’s doing what ?! Since when?! ’
“Who’s seen this fifteen times, you or me, lad?!”
XXX
“ If a lotta people love each other, the world would be a better place to live! ”
“This guy is so deep, though! Tell me he’s not right about that.”
“Amadan gone Bedlam way. I’m standin’ by that.”
“You’re a heartless, cruel bacterial organism. No wonder your wife kicks you out into the street on a monthly basis.”
“...Say that again.”
“...Heartless, cruel bacterial organism…?”
“ ‘Ow’d y’ like this heartless fuckin’ organism up your fuckin’ ARSE, right--?! ”
“AHH NO PLEASE I DIDN’T MEAN IT I WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN AHH HELP I NEED THAT REMOTE!”
XXX
“ You’re tearing me APART, Lisa! ”
“ Why are you so hysterical ? ”
“Why’re you so willing to indulge this guy’s crap acting and fuckin’ flat affect?”
XXX
“You can come out now. She’s gone.”
“In a few minutes, bitch.”
“Who are you calling a bitch?”
“You and your stupid mother.”
“HAHAHAHA THAT PART IS SO GOOD.”
“...”
“Why aren’t you laughing?”
“...Wasn’t funny.”
“...Emilia would kill you if you talked to her like that, wouldn’t she?”
“Doubt it--”
“She totally would.”
“...”
“Is that why she kicked you out this time?”
“...No. No, it’s not.”
“...Do you wanna talk about it?”
“No.”
“Talking helps.”
“Helps a sod like you, maybe. Prefer t’ drown me sorrows.”
“...Is that why?”
“No reasonin’ with her when she’s on her--”
“EW GROSS NO DON’T SAY THE P-WORD OH GOD MY VIRGIN EARS.”
“...This is why you’re single.”