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In Dave's POV, you cut yourself. (Not subjectively plain 'ol Stridercest whatsoever, just needed to tag it either way).
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- Part 3 of Stridercest Galore
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All Roads Lead to Nowhere (Except the one that Leads to You) by electricteatime
Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
19 Aug 2018
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Todd’s heart stops. Or it feels like it does because… that’s a voice. That’s a human voice. That’s a human voice that he must have been hallucinating. He’s been driving too long, drunk too much coffee, didn’t get enough sleep last night he’s just-
“Bloody hell, it’s dark in here.”
Nope. Todd scrambles to open the car door and flings himself away from the vehicle, stumbling backwards until he lands on his ass, staring at the car with wide eyes and struggling to catch his breath past the sheer terror that’s overcome him all of a sudden.
This isn’t happening.
***Todd knows the work he does isn't the most morally sound, being a delivery guy for a local gang was never going to to be, but the job is good, the pay is better, and no matter how temporary it was supposed to be when he started he has no intention of stopping now.
Then a strange man with an even stranger name wakes up in the trunk of his car, and everything goes to shit.
My entry for the DGHDA Big Bang (2018)!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 36,408
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 63
- Kudos:
- 303
- Bookmarks:
- 77
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- 2,754
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Dave needs a bit of help with something he's never dealt with before - crying.
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TT: Dirk is dead.
TG: what
TT: This is AI Dirk you're talking to.
TT: The project I have been telling you about.
TT: *He, I mean.
TT: Flesh and blood Dirk was just fucking obliterated by imperial drones on the rooftop. I can't see him anymore so I can only assume the worst. What do I do.-
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Due to a seizure, Karkat Vantas now has to learn how to live his life with two speech aphasia. He goes to therapy three times a week, suffers from awful headaches, and tries to avoid people as much as possible.
Due to a traumatic experience, Dave Strider refuses to use his words, preferring to relay his snarky comments and witty banter through sign language and typing on his phone.
They meet in a waiting room.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 26,648
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Comments:
- 295
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- 2,546
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- 410
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- 40,306
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Dirk Strider goes out into the world with two goals: find something, and lose himself in the process. It works well enough until a handsome boy with bottle green eyes follows the trail of missed connections and ticket stubs right to his heart and decides to help himself to everything Dirk was determined to throw away.
(Fae Jake/listless semi-sex addict Dirk, and a lot of self-indulgence.)
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- Part 1 of to black mambo (fae AU)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 55,327
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 443
- Kudos:
- 1,723
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- 285
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- 34,601
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Bookmark Notes:
this is heat yeah
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Bookmark Notes:
to read
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Dean hasn't a clue how Seamus keeps drawing his name in the annual gift exchange every bloody year, but he isn't quite protesting, either.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,999
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 12
- Kudos:
- 171
- Bookmarks:
- 20
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- 930
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- Words:
- 1,299,265
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- 32
- Bookmarks:
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Now chatting with a live representative.
TT: hey, babygirl. you can call me bro. i'll be taking care of you this evening.
TT: you got some tenacity, hacking straight into my network.
TT: i'm not charging for this, i'm too invested in the story.Jade finds credentials to hack Bro's network in the source code for one of his ironically-run websites. It lands her right in a live sex chat. Might as well take advantage of it, right?
Series
- Part 1 of > _
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The Kaiju - or Horrorterrors, as the trolls call them - first invaded Earth through a transdimensional rift at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. Serving the Condesce in her quest to add Earth to the Alternian Empire, these monsters have terrorized humanity for twelve years. With the help of rebel troll factions and the adaptation of Alternian mind integration technology - The Drift - the Interspecies Defense Program has fought back as the last line of defense between the Kaiju and Earth.
Karkat Vantas was a Jaeger pilot, fought for freedom in the Assault on the Breach that brought trolls to Earth. The loss of his co-pilot left him bitter and full of rage, but desperate times have lead to him being recruited to join the fray once more.
Dave Strider is the best and brightest the Interspec program has to offer. Jaeger Restoration Project Head, highest simulation score on record, and younger brother of the Deputy Marshal - except he's not allowed in a Jaeger.
Nobody expects them to be Drift Compatible.
If I lose everything in the fire, I'm sending all my love to you...
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 108,975
- Chapters:
- 20/22
- Comments:
- 445
- Kudos:
- 1,175
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- 257
- Hits:
- 19,632
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Severus Snape lives a miserable life.
He overdoses on illegal suppressants to stifle his monthly heat cycle whilst trying to survive in a world where omegas are regarded as little more than objects used as breeding stock, maids and organ factories.
Severus hides his true identity by passing as a beta, though his charades might come to an end in the wake of the alpha Sirius Black who hunts omegas for bounty.
Will Sirius succeed at his task, or will Severus finally find the freedom he so desperately craves?
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Chapter 13
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13 chapters
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Fighting fire with fire is okay in theory but Detective-Summoner Dave L. Strider figures trying to summon corporeal demons to the mortal plane to fight other demons is likely to backfire spectacularly. Sadly for him his inner Knight gets the vapors at the thought of letting anyone else play guinea pig.
Yup, he is totally hogging the demon. What could go wrong? (Oh no, Dave, why did you have to think that.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 233,688
- Chapters:
- 30/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,566
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- 2,938
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Paranoia by heartbrokenbopper for http://ohmisswherethefuckisjohn.tumblr.com/
Fandoms: Homestuck
16 Jun 2013
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You knew it was a bad idea to let him go off on his own.
You're currently busting your ass through these fucking jungle trees of his just to find his sorry frame probably all fucked up and broken and the thought just makes you run harder.-
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“You nervous?” Dave turned to the sound of his brother’s voice, momentarily distracted from the half-folded paper in his hands.
“Nah, not really?” he replied with a shrug, partially surprised at the question. “This job seems pretty standard. Transporting a retired ship to its home planet for scrapping. Easy peasy.”
Born as a set of quadruplets, Dave and his siblings grew up attached to each others’ sides like a human monkey chain. Having each others’ backs proved more difficult once they became young adults, however. Their separate interests began pulling them in different directions, but thankfully Dave and his siblings did share the desire to leave Mars together. They had all decided to go the “interstellar traveler” route, and agreed to take multiple tracks at the Interstellar Travel Academy to become their own self-sustaining crew and eventually buy their own ship.
One morning Dave woke up to an Earth-based company looking for an individual with both engineering and pilot experience, which he was. With only one other crewmate aboard the payout would be insanely good, so Dave took it without hesitation. And now the day had finally come.
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Bookmark Notes:
ch 4
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Bookmark Notes:
This fic is so fucking gorgeous
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Calm and collected, that's Dave Strider. The docking station around him is chaotic and loud but he is like ice, cool and clear.
None of that is true of course, but nobody is looking closely enough to notice the way his hands shake and his eyes dart around underneath the opaque plastic of his vintage sunglasses.Dave Strider sneaks on board an Alternian ship in an attempt to flee his shitty situation on Earth. This is the first of many questionable decisions.
Series
- Part 1 of sea of stars
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 38,831
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 207
- Kudos:
- 931
- Bookmarks:
- 132
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- 11,840
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"Call it a car crash waiting to happen, you’ll just call it your downfall"
Dirk is a romantic, just not a particularly optimistic one.
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Bookmark Notes:
This is so fucking cute
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Thank god Caliborn isn’t here right now, you think, as Caliborn seeps into the room like a malignant devil who heard his name from inside your mind. He’s green and heat, and he is not welcome.
“SILENCE THE CHILD. OR ELSE I WILL DO IT MYSELF.”
(Dirk runs away from his abusive home in Texas all the way up to a cheap, abandoned house in Oregon that is haunted by an angry green poltergeist with Big Issues and a nasty mile-wide 'cruelty to the living' streak.Dave, the four-year-old little brother Dirk was not fully aware he had, follows him there.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 199,632
- Chapters:
- 14/17
- Comments:
- 289
- Kudos:
- 512
- Bookmarks:
- 144
- Hits:
- 11,572
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WDYM IT'S JUST FOREVER UNFINISHED UGH
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chamomile, rose water, and other unlikely intoxicants by callmearcturus
Fandoms: Homestuck
30 Aug 2017
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"I do swear by Skaia's guiding light to eschew ambition and direction to serve in the holy retinue. I will lay my head in the safety of the bower and pay penance in thought and deed. For the King of All Winters and the Undying Prince, I will provide succor and balm, and yield my being to ease the burden he carries for us all."
An off-the-cuff jamfic for the Strilondes discord that spun rapidly out of control. In which Dirk plays the role of resigned god-prince of Skaia, locked in a twisted version of the Year King fable. His life is a sorry routine until one year, he receives a very bold, strange offering from the heir to House Harley, Jake.
A story about cycles, and how to break them, and the patterns left in the scattered pieces afterward.
Series
- Part 1 of The Year King and the Alchemist
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 86,573
- Chapters:
- 20/20
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 704
- Kudos:
- 2,046
- Bookmarks:
- 393
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- 39,867
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Bookmark Notes:
Peak
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Bookmark Notes:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Holy. God. this fic is INCREDIBLE!!!! words can't describe!! never read a jamfic and never planned to, but stars above this is fuckin LEGENDARY. heart wrenching and fed my homestuck fixation nicely. Whoop! Whoop!
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I Move the Stars For No One by bluebottle762 for friendlystranger1312
Fandoms: Homestuck
09 Jun 2024
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Words said cannot be unsaid, and actions made cannot be unmade. And remember: you never know who is listening.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,078
- Chapters:
- 1/4
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 15
- Kudos:
- 14
- Bookmarks:
- 3
- Hits:
- 122
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Yesterday is Tomorrow (everything is connected) by IAM_Kneazle (twicethet), twicethet
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
30 Jan 2025
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James Potter went five years at Hogwarts without realizing Lily had a little sister. Hermione would have preferred it if he never realized she existed. Now she's stuck, in Potter's circle of awareness, and maintaining the timeline. Not like he makes it easy, or something.
Jan 2025: Oh look. An update. I'm posting again!
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 260,440
- Chapters:
- 28/30
- Collections:
- 68
- Comments:
- 4,387
- Kudos:
- 13,688
- Bookmarks:
- 5,396
- Hits:
- 527,469