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  1. 35

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    Summary

    "I've spent a lifetime giving you my heart," till forever falls apart by ashe, finneas

    [Currently in the middle of a re-edit. Intended to be the last edit until continuing and finishing the series.]

    Inexplicably, you've been drawn to him since highschool. You're not sure what it is, with the way his limbs dont fit together quite right or the way he looks viscerally uncomfortable. You hardly know him, but you two have been in each other's peripheral since they moved here. You're pretty sure it's nothing, though. After all, he's way not interested in you.

    The long, drawn out mutual pining/unfortunate angst fic

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    53,529
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    88
    Kudos:
    235
    Bookmarks:
    35
    Hits:
    3,748
  2. 31

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    Summary

    When Dirk's bathroom is flooding, he turns to Grindr to find someone nearby who might have a screwdriver he can borrow. John has been playing around on Grindr without really confronting his sexuality. As Dirk renovates his falling-down house and John builds a life for himself outside of his failed marriage, fate keeps throwing them together.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,739
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    139
    Kudos:
    190
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    1,651
  3. 20

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    Summary

    "What is it you said...that trolls are like bears?"

    "Mhm! In this instance, yeah. I mean, trolls are mostly like bees, sort of like bats, and kind of like dolphins, but they're like bears when it comes to attacking people. If you aren't looking to totally die, you have to stand your ground and talk low. Screaming and running just make ya look like easy prey."

    You stare at the humming green pod and imagine Karkat, your friend, leaping and trying to slash at your stomach, your throat. Doing it out of fear and obliviousness, only to find out what he'd done later. Even if you'd revive (and you're pretty certain you would), he'd never be able to live with himself. "Remind me what the word for "harmless" is."

    Roxy smirks, huffing out of their nose and looking up at you through pink, heart-rimmed shades. "Pfft. 'Fraid not. Alternians don't have a concept of a total non-threat."

    "Hm." 

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    87,197
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    101
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    2,230
  4. 9

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    Summary

    I don't have a proper title. Dirk and Roxy in college pining over their friends decide to sleep together.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,592
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    108
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1,257
  5. 20

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    Summary

    -- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 20:34 --
    EB: hey!
    TG: hey
    TG: whats up
    EB: can we talk?

    Or: Eg(g)bert finally cracks

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,412
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    173
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    1,255
  6. 12

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    Summary

    Your name is Dirk Strider and in a turn of events that shocks absolutely no one, you have a John Egbert on your lips. You have no idea how you got here except maybe if you thought about it every single playfully flirtatious argument the two have had since he joined your anime club last year.

    John is unbanned from anime club. Not because Dirk likes him or anything, baka.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,116
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    135
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    1,234
  7. 2

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    Summary

    In which conversations about gender, identity, and sexuality are had through a series of pesterlogs. Sometimes, you just gotta say what's on your mind.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,580
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    388
  8. 12

    Tags
    Summary

    The game is over.

    Dirk thinks everything will finally be okay.

    But dear lord. He has never been more wrong.

    It's quiet at first, the little hints of toxicity slipping in ever so slightly. An issue here, an argument there. Nothing to worry about. Right?

    It only takes a spark to start a forest fire.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,612
    Chapters:
    40/40
    Comments:
    147
    Kudos:
    58
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    1,796
  9. 3

    Tags
    Summary

    Your name is Rose Lalonde. You have issues restraining yourself. You need to work on that.
    The way not to do that, however, is by stabbing your brother's "Bro."
    Unfortunately, it's too late to take that back. Your only option is to try and heal from that, and to reconnect with your family(?).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,279
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    337
  10. 60

    Tags
    Summary

    TG: hey rose

    TT: Yes, Dave?

    TG: so i was thinking
    TG: what if we aka you me roxy dirk john jade jane jake raided area 51 like fr

    TT: Then we would be shot full of holes.

    TG: ok but ignoring the guns

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,493
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    173
    Kudos:
    408
    Bookmarks:
    60
    Hits:
    4,855
  11. 59

    Tags
    Summary

    In the rancid soup of misery that is your life on the brink of high school exhaustion and dehydrated tear ducts, movie night with Dave is one of the few sanctuaries that you’ve ever known.

    Maybe it’s the fact that he has fluffy blankets and a memory foam bed, with a wall-mounted flat screen TV that immerses you straight into the movie, popcorn grease on your right hand and Dave’s hand by your left.
    Alternatively, it could also be the fact that you have the universe’s most flaming, embarrassing crush on the guy.
    It’s probably both.
    -
    Karkat climbs in through a window, expecting to see Dave, popcorn, and a movie.
    Instead, he gets surprising information, a friendly interrogation, and someone who definitely isn't Dave. (Regardless, it all works out.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,661
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    67
    Kudos:
    506
    Bookmarks:
    59
    Hits:
    4,341
  12. 15

    Tags
    Summary

    John tries to be a good friend to a newly out Roxy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,286
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    79
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    882
  13. 13

    Tags
    Summary

    Sometime in the future, Hal finds himself standing in a seemingly abandoned city on Earth C with no memory of how he got there.

    He presses on, but when his memory eventually returns to him in full, he'll be left feeling more fractured than before.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,424
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1,050
  14. 7

    Tags
    Summary

    Alchemy is confusing.
    That’s sort of a given; it’s alchemy, working off of bullshit Sburb mechanics. Of course it won’t make any sense!
    All John wanted to do was make some cat food. There’s been a stray wandering the neighborhood, and he figured it couldn’t hurt to just try and mix up a few cat-related things with a few food-related things to make something vaguely resembling cat food.
    What’s the worst that could happen?
    Well, he surely didn’t get cat food. And, as it turns out, adding a third alchemy ingredient is a really bad idea. So is standing on the platform during the alchemization.
    Now, not only has the Heir of Breath joined his ectobiological sister in being an animal-person, but he’s become a catgirl instead of a catboy.

    --Or, in which John turns into a catgirl, and then deals with all of that.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,382
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    767
  15. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Everyone already seems to have made up their mind about who Jake English is. God, notorious TV star, multimedia personality, proud owner of one of the largest techno-innovation companies on Earth C — And the world's finest ass. But despite his great rapport with the press, there's little to be said by the man himself. He's almost reached his eternal mid-twenties with nothing but faulty luck, a terrible track record on relationships, and a good dose of vodka under his belt.

    Well, that is, until a bad trip brings about a manic nightmare milf from a dead universe.
     
    [UPD8'S IN PROGRESS]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,199
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    141
    Kudos:
    1,147
    Bookmarks:
    243
    Hits:
    31,655
  16. 26

    Tags
    Summary

    Jade, Roxy, and Jake start an “I Grew Up Isolated From Human Society" support group and rope Dirk into meeting with them every week, to learn things like "how currency that isn't Boondollars works" and "how to establish healthy boundaries and respect the boundaries of others".

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,948
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    147
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    647
  17. 11

    Tags
    Summary

    Your name is JOHN EGBERT, you are TWENTY-ONE YEARS OLD, and today is your BIRTHDAY.

    Or, at least, that's what the streamers currently pinned across the walls of most of your living room, courtesy of dear old dad, say. It doesn't really feel right, though. Not much has, not for a while.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,867
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    62
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    739
  18. 45

    Tags
    Summary

    At a party he doesn't want to be at, Dirk Strider runs into an old flame. What starts as an awkward conversation between a hermit and an elite socialite turns into a question of what it means to hurt, what it means to be normal, and what the hell is wrong with them.

    Jake breathes out a weird golden fog every time he lies. Their good friends have become heartless corporate machines. And Dirk can't stop getting these awful headaches, and flashes of memories that shouldn't be his.

    ("Pre-epilogue" Dirkjake hurt/comfort. Exploring Dirk and Jake's respective powers and postgame situation. They deserve to heal)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    70,028
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    85
    Kudos:
    190
    Bookmarks:
    45
    Hits:
    3,995
  19. 6

    Summary

    It takes John Egbert a long time to realise that he might not be the man he thought he was. In fact, she might not even be a man at all. Now living so far in the future that the title "Heir of Breath" is synonymous with the name John Egbert, and the name John Egbert is one of the most famous names of Earth C society, she has to get creative to really transition. But what does being a trans woman even mean when you're more of an abstract concept than a human being?

    Featuring a little TOO MUCH timeline shenanigans, YOUNGSHIT ON OLDSHIT VIOLENCE, TRUSCUM VRISKA, egg John being a LESBIAN WITH ALL OF HIS FEMALE FRIENDS, an OVERBEARING OLDER SISTER FIGURE WHO IS ALSO YOUR OLDER SELF FROM ANOTHER TIMELINE, a GRATUITOUS OVERUSE OF RETCON MAGIC and a COMPLETE SHAKE-UP OF THE STORY WE ALL KNOW.

    Words:
    64,835
    Works:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    6
  20. 15

    Tags
    Summary

    Fact 1: All the trolls who played the game are either dead, in a different universe, or dead in a different universe.

    Fact 2: All the trolls who played the game are alive and in this universe.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,539
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    74
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1,153

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