10 Works in Unattractive Thorin Oakenshield
Listing Works
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Past Actions Lead to Desirable Consequences by SunnyRose
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types
11 Oct 2025
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Summary
Thorin is not the same dwarf that once lived in these halls, but his past dalliances don't seem to realize that. Caught in an alcove with one of them, Bilbo sets to remind the dwarf of who he belongs to and just how desirable he is.
Series
- Part 1 of Kinktober (Collection)
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Wanna Know What Love Is? (How It Started) by skatesfullofsunshine
Fandoms: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
28 Apr 2025
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Summary
"Bilbo Baggins was forty-three when he determined he was tired of being deemed a very respectable hobbit. At that age, he was well past his majority by Shire standards and just shy of being labelled an unrepentant bachelor. He had long since resigned himself to the fact that he would likely live out his life mostly alone, after the death of his parents years before. He was quite all right with that fact, regardless of the scandal it might cause.
That was, until he found a letter tucked away in a book of world maps he happened to find in a bookshelf in Bag-End’s library."
OR: Bilbo and Thorin skirt each other for many years, while Bilbo's mother makes friends with the dwarrow who visit the Shire each spring and summer peddling their wares and services to any hobbit willing to give them business. Some years after the death of Belladonna and Bungo Baggins, a letter falls directly at Bilbo's feet, spurring him on to do something reckless he wouldn't have out of respectability's sake, years prior.
What ensues is the beginning of a love of a lifetime; the first of many unexpected journeys Bilbo will take thereafter.
Series
- Part 1 of Wanna Know What Love Is?
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Summary
Written in response to a prompt by thotinshield on Tumblr:
"my brain is filled with au where thorin is considered unattractive by dwarven standards, bilbo thinks hes handsome, and is pining after him, but thorin is in the classic situation of having to get married and dealing with lots of suitors and theres a bit in there about bilbo hearing some of the dwarrowdams gossiping about how thorin is "ugly" and bilbo being like WHAT"
Erebor needs a queen, and Thorin is set to marry a dwarrowdam to be his consort. No matter how much it breaks his heart, Bilbo takes it upon himself to ensure Thorin only receives the best and decides to scope out the candidates. Everything goes well, and he finds one that looks promising, until he uncovers a rather disturbing fact about the crop of potential consorts.
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My Princess, My Love, Marry Me! by mordelle
Fandoms: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
25 Nov 2023
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Summary
Bilbo chokes on his ale at the sight of the most beautiful creature he has ever laid eyes on. A gorgeous dwarrowdam. Bilbo is so struck by her beauty and her regal bearing that he can’t help but drop his ale and openly gape. Just looking at her makes him feel a whirlwind of emotions, from deep despair to incandescent joy. Passion, he realizes. This is what passion feels like, and he can't help but wonder if this dwarrowdam could be the key to unlocking more new and exciting things.
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Bilbo's Beard by MoroseBarnacle
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
03 Sep 2023
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Summary
A silly hobbit one shot.
Hobbits being beardless is cultural, not biological. Hobbit men shave. And for weeks Bilbo’s been shaving without any of the Company noticing. But Bilbo lost his shaving razor somewhere under the Misty Mountains, and by the time they reach Beorn’s, he’s got quite a beard going. The dwarves appropriately freak out (especially the royal brooding one). Bilbo doesn’t notice and makes pie.
Or, a one-shot featuring the dwarvish equivalent of the overalls-wearing girl taking off her glasses and putting on a sundress trope.
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Summary
“Well, of course!” Master Baggins spoke his observations in such a factual manner. “Handsome beards on the line of Durin indeed. Surely, I’d only look all the more foolish sitting next to you.”
Thorin blinked and felt heat rush up beneath his cheeks. Prayed to Mahal that his humble beard might survive the sudden praise. For again, he had always wished that Master Baggins might find him attractive in spite of his less than suitable beard, but here was Master Baggins ever the Unexpected. And here he was dolling out such lovely compliments.
“Not his beard,” Dwalin let out with a mirthful scoff. “It’s not any better than Kíli’s.”
“Oh, nonsense!” Master Baggins furrowed his brow. “You mean to tell me that you dwarves consider it unattractive to groom one’s beard so short?”
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Foul or fair are in the eyes of others by aurembiaux for AdamHope
Fandoms: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Hobbit - All Media Types
20 Aug 2022
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Summary
Thorin was rather ugly, there was simply not denying it. Too tall, too thin, too pretty; his beard was pitifully short and his nose too small. He was strong, which was good enough; he had big, clever hands and his eyes seemed to be admired by most. Still, he was ugly, as was most of his family.
He was, however, the king, and a hero of Azanulbizar, too. Both facts were heavy burdens, but they did help him get laid.
(Bilbo might not agree with the Dwarven view on the matter, but of course, this is a purely academic opinion. Why would he care about whether Thorin is considered attractive or not?) -
The Definition of Handsome by writing_among_lilypads
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
12 Feb 2021
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Summary
Sure, Thorin wasn’t the prettiest dwarf in sight, but nothing that warranted the disgust Bilbo seemed to harbor towards their King. Dwalin will be damned if he let this hobbit disrespect Thorin like that, his dear friend and King. That’s no way to integrate into their already closed off group, Dwalin thought, however much he knew some of the dwarrow were eager to make Bilbo’s acquaintance.
Based on the lovely headcanon that Thorin is ugly by dwarven standards, and Bilbo couldn't disagree more. His Gay Yearning (TM) is mistaken for utter repulsion by the rest of the company, which causes some problems.
Edit: 10/9-21, slight rewordings and overall improvements! No storyline changes, but hopefully a couple months' experience makes for a less cringey read and fewer spelling/grammar/punctuation errors. Shout at me in the comments if I missed anything!
Previously titled "Of a Love-struck Hobbit and Protective Dwarves".
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What lays in a phrase by Kytanna for birdkeeperklink (speculating)
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types
10 Aug 2020
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Summary
Thorin has dreamt all his life about having a soulmate, longing for something he's not meant to have. Craving for a soulmark that's never going to appear. Hoping that somewhere out there there is someone who can love Thorin as much as he craves to be loved.
Accepting the fact that perhaps Mahal intended for him to spend his life alone, is something Thorin is not quite ready to do just yet...
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Appearances by ceruleyana
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
20 Jul 2020
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Summary
Bilbo thinks Thorin is handsome. Apparently he's the only one in the Company who thinks so.