1 - 20 of 586 Works in Human Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)
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“If this is another arts and crafts activity, then count me out,” Techno says. “I have had enough of taxidermying."
“Don’t be like that,” Phil pouts. “The centerpieces look wonderful. Our guests are going to love them."
“They better. I don’t think there’s a living squirrel left for fifty miles.”\\
or: techno takes on a sketchy wedding planner gig because he's got no choice. he’s not entirely sure he won’t get himself killed in the process.
Series
- Part 2 of Technoblade's Entirely Average Life
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Many years ago, Philza was right hand to an international crime syndicate and dubbed the Angel of Death— known and feared by all. These days, however, washed up, hurt, and lonely, he finds it difficult reconciling his mired past with the everyday chores of a civilian.
A lot changes once he crosses paths with coach Technoblade.
; or, Former Assassin!Philza and Gym Coach!Technoblade AU
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As soon as cloning became commonplace, vampires saw no need to keep ‘free roaming’ humans around. They are now the dominant species, and humans are made in labs to satiate the need for food.
Broadly speaking, there are two types of humans. Common feeder lines are mass-produced, each branch consisting of over a hundred specimens, created to be sold cheaply to any coven that will take them. They are made with a few simple qualities in mind: nutritious blood, docile temperaments, and no health problems.
Then there are designer lines. Genetically engineered to be as tasty as they come, richer covens are happy to pay some extra bucks if it means having a rare, limited-edition human in their possession.
The Blade line is extremely rare. Techno might be one of a dozen or so left.
Coincidentally, the Antarctic Coven just acquired themselves a collector's item.
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Or: 5 times Techno did not cave and the 1 time he did.
Series
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Pocket Game by OmegaPersonaCreator
Fandoms: Dream SMP, QSMP | Quackity SMP, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series)
28 Jun 2025
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Have you ever dreamed of living in a world of Pokémon? Have you ever wanted to meet interesting people?
No? Well, too bad.
(Y/N) suddenly finds herself thrown into a strange world of Pokémon, filled with interesting faces, various Pokémon, and even terrifying bad guys? Looks like she's in for one grand adventure!
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A Way Out (A Way Home) by WinglessStripedOwl
Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF, Origins SMP, QSMP | Quackity SMP
24 Jun 2025
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Technoblade was an average guy, he watched his college lessons, went to work and played video games. He was never into "There's life out there in space!!" kind of thing, he liked movies or games about aliens but otherwise it was whatever really.
Now, trapped behind a holographic energy field, he regrets it.
Maybe there was some information he could've gotten, some clue as to why they do this or some way to plead, to implore, for them to stop.
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All vampires start out as human. It naturally results in some similarities of experience between them, or at least things that rhyme close enough to seem that way. As a prime example: the fact that many humans often look terribly like a fledgling.
See, in order for a human to be successfully turned, they must drink blood of their own free will. It's not quite instinct, not for a while, so there's always a waiting period of an almost-fledgling slowly weakening to the hunger. Some eventually cave to it, most maybe. But it's always the first step. Always the sign of the soon to be precious fledgling.
There are plenty of humans suffering below hunger in the world too. Sometimes they look very much like fledglings, helpless and wanting for something beyond them yet. Phil can't help but take some of them home.
Techno sees both ends of it.
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One shots and slice of life for Hargrans Are A What series. Set between the main story.
Series
- Part 2 of Hargrans are a What?
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“Have you ever considered working as an au pair?” Wilbur asked.
Techno frowned, once again thrown off by the vampire’s archaic choice of words. “You mean, going to live with a coven?”
“As our permanent, exclusive food source, yes.”
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Techno is a human who needs a place to live. Phil, Wilbur and Tommy are vampires who need blood to survive. Two problems are fixed with a single solution.
Though perhaps Techno should have thought twice about the consequences of entangling his life with three powerful immortals.
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I'll Wipe Away the Frost on Your Eyelashes by floristkills for Anarchy_and_Piglins
Fandoms: Dream SMP
12 Jun 2025
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Not to brag, but Techno's a pretty great mechanic. And not just because his human hands have multiple dexterousness fingers. His skills have gotten him pretty far in the universe. Further than most humans can ever make it.
Almost literally, since humans can't survive faster than light travel.
With the near infinity of space, that little biological fact limits the mobility of their entire species. But, as humans tend to do, they have spent all their experience points on brains over functional bodies. Thus, a solution was created: cryopods.
Cryosleep makes it possible for Techno to travel through space, and his skills make it actually worthwhile for a ship's crew to even bother with him. It's going pretty well, all things considered. If only his body realized how critical it was not to get oh-so sleepy and achy after being frozen alive and thawed out. It really throws a wrench in his productivity.
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Techno is a human on a mixed species spaceship with Phil, Wilbur, and Tommy. All four crew members contend with the effects of popsicle-ification. Thawing procedure is most optimal with shared body heat, copious fur petting, and sugary offerings.
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Technoblade is kidnapped by aliens. He is forced to be a captive and entertain others. On a rare occasion he ends up saving a small avian from being killed. The little alien takes him as his family with the rest of his crew, the SBI + Syndicate. Will he finally find his forever home with these weird creatures?
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Definition: The acceleration of a chemical reaction by a catalyst.
Techno Blade takes a 201 course - Vampire Sociology and Physiology. Turns out, that course also counts towards government requirements for informed consent if a human wants to apply for a sire to turn them.
Phil, a vampire and a professor at the university Techno attends, sees a lot of potential in Techno. Sure would be a shame for that to go to waste with that whole pesky aging thing humans do.
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Technoblade is part of MAFIAS. No, not that mafia. Magical Artifact Investigations and Active Solutions.
As an intern, his job is pretty simple: holding on to a variety of supernatural items that can't fall into unsafe hands. This does not combine well with being a sleep-deprived college student.
When Techno finds himself tied up with both the fae realm and the underworld at the same time, he will have no choice but to plead his case for freedom. And maybe try to do that without losing his mind at the very eager fae and goddess who both think they have some sort of claim on him.
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And so Rise the Wordless by DecayOfDivorced
Fandoms: Dream SMP, sbi - Fandom, Original Work
01 Jun 2025
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Techno hasn't met another human in almost a year.
He's been in space for almost 2.What could possibly go wrong when hijacking a trafficking ship?
Accidentally getting adopted by a group of aliens apparently.
aka: sbi space au with beeduo & niki and chaos ensues with found family and a lot of language barrier
(I'll probably change this summary in the future)
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beauty lies behind the hills by Ria_Writes_Stuff
Fandoms: Dream SMP, Minecraft (Video Game)
30 May 2025
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There were three things the boy was sure of as he woke up in a creaking metal elevator, head pounding, lights low and the grind of gears above his head the only sound - his name was Technoblade, he had no idea where he was, and his memories of everything outside of rust and red lights had been scooped away like a chef with a melon baller.
He probably should be panicking more, but that sweet, sweet combination of shock and exhaustion was making everything seem wayyy less bad than it was.
OR
A techno-centric mazerunner au for the Voices for the Blade event
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Clicking on the link, he started to fill out the form. There were some normal questions, like age and occupation and some a bit weirder ones like blood type or how ok he would be with alternative methods of drawing blood. That one was weird.
At one place it even straight out said if he would be ok with being bit in the arm.
So, his future employer was a vampire, cool.
At the end he had to sign a declaration of confidentiality that said he would not disclose what happened at the job.
Well, that was weird.
Now he was actually starting to think the person was a vampire.
or
Phil adopting Techno while he works as a bloodbag.
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Sea of Stars (not so alone anymore) by Smack_n_cheese
Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF, Dream SMP
29 May 2025
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The International Commission of Earth sends Technoblade on a mission to mars to check out some possible illegal activates to per say "stop at all costs". He discovers that the universe isn't as empty as he had hoped it would be and now he has to learn all of it alone, or so he thought.
or: Special operations infiltrator Technoblade gets yoinked into an adventure he did not at all ask for, thank you. he gets friends and family he never thought he'd ever deserved but here he is: bamboozled.
or: or: I got the sbi/si-fi brain rot from reading a few other fics, playing Mass Effect and watching people play Helldivers so I decided we needed more and I'd make my first one.
I will not wright wilbursoot's character into this fic so we die like men with 3/4. support shubble and other victims
As always this fic is about the characters not the creators themselves if this makes anyone uncomfortable I will remove it immediately, be respectful please. Have a good day
Edit for the release of chapter 63: The main plot is done, more updates in this story are to come but for those that don't want to read an unfinished story, dw I got you :p
arc 1 ch 1-17 (intro) -- arc 2 ch 18-63 (main plot) -- arc 3 fun *tm
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BREAKING NEWS: SOCIALLY AWKWARD SEA CREATURE GETS A JOB by Riverinnit (Carosbee)
Fandoms: Dream SMP
28 May 2025
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“Can you speak?” the first human asked, a common enough first question for polite humans.
“That’s fine,” the human responded, grabbing some equipment, “We just wanted to make sure you were friendly, you were scarin’ the townspeople, you know?”
Ranboo didn't.
“Well, you don’t seem so bad."
Or: You know the trope 'intimidating character is actually very socially awkward'? Ranboo is a very nervous cecaelia.
This goes surprisingly well for them.
Series
- Part 4 of Mermay 2025
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“Of home?”
Tommy blinked, then slowly tipped his head. “No. Not home-home. But... home-sound. Home-feel.” He pressed a hand over his chest, right in the middle. “In here place.”
He smiled shyly. “Like you. And pigs. And nest days.”
Techno swallowed.
“Well,” he said, clearing his throat, “we’ve got plenty of chickens. And pigs. And you’ve got your nest.”
Tommy brightened. “And you.”
“Yeah.” Techno reached over and gave the top of his head a gentle ruffle, fingers brushing through downy feathers. “You’ve got me too.”
Or Just drabbles i have made over time about the same bedrock bros AU
This is in no timely order, just posted because I love this so much :)Series
- Part 1 of Bri writes about block game lol
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Technoblade will never die cowering at his enemies feet.
No matter the struggle put upon him he will stand tall and look death in the eye.Series
- Part 36 of Polished Works
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Hidden in the Depths by Jedi_Raptor
Fandoms: Video Blogging RPF, Subnautica (Video Game), QSMP | Quackity SMP
17 May 2025
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The sight that greeted him was equally as breathtaking as it was terrifying.
Deep blue water surrounded his pod, which had thankfully triggered the detection system and had made his pod use it's floating devices. The colors looked familiar, almost normal. Nothing but vast ocean, no islands, no distant shores. Nothing. It almost seemed like he was just stranded in an ocean on earth, if it weren't for the giant planet he could clearly see in the sky. Either this water planet was an orbiting moon to that large red planet, or that was a very large moon orbiting this planet.
But that wasn't even the worst of it all. Because a couple miles away, the remains of the large exploded ship sat half submerged in the water, lifeless and silent. Some fires were still burning, now fueled by the new oxygen this planet provides. It stung, seeing it like this. It would have been his only way home, his only way of calling for help. But he doubts that any of the radio systems were still working. No long range communication to other ships or even a space station or two. And the systems of his own pod were fried too.
He was completely stuck.
~ currently updates 1-3 times a month ~