vulnerable joon
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More Walls (Collected Along the Way) by Anna (pineconepickers)
Fandoms: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
06 Nov 2020
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Summary
“It seems like the kind of thing one ought to know, right? Whether you have a husband or not.”
Seokjin has been busy since his break-up with Namjoon seven years earlier, with swift promotions at his father’s investment firm, while Namjoon has, perhaps annoyingly, become one of the most prolific authors in Korea. Never mind that, of course, because Seokjin has moved on! It’s a bit of a shock, then, for Seokjin to discover that he is married – to his ex-boyfriend Namjoon.
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Bookmarked by confetticanon
24 Oct 2020
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Bookmarker's Notes
nov 10 2020
Last read: June 5 2021smut @ chapt 3
—
“Fast-forward ten years and here they were, with Namjoon as the winner of the Hankyoreh Literature Award, the Kim Yong-ik Novel Prize, and the Surim Literary Award, to name a few. And yet, for all of those written words hanging between them, neither of them had any more to offer.”
—
“Oh, fuck you!” Namjoon snapped back. “You always treated me like a kid – I thought about that a lot afterwards, you know! You thought me wanting to be an author was some childish dream that—”“But it was!” he cut in, feet slipping on the road as he came closer. “It was! Who makes it as a writer?! Who?! One of us had to be realistic, be the grown-up! So yeah, I stepped up – and you hated me for it!” He paused to get air in, an old ache in his heart. “But I never said you weren’t good, or talented, or deserving of selling your work, and if you’re standing here yelling at me like I ever said that, then you’re full of shit!”
—
“but Namjoon was striking a different chord with him that was making him feel so fucking wanted and filthy, yet safe and adored.”
—
“Hey, so,” Namjoon said, hands still in his pockets as he turned to face Seokjin. “What are we doing?” Namjoon slowly moved closer. “You should ask me again.”“Ask you what?”
“Why I’ve never moved back here.”
Quietly, Seokjin asked, “Why have you never moved back to Korea?”
“Because you’re Korea,” Namjoon said firmly. Seokjin blinked, and Namjoon shook his head. “I don’t see how I can live here and not have you be mine. It’s torture. This, right now? It’s torture.” Namjoon stepped closer, voice urgent. “Tell me to stop and I will – if you don’t want to hear this, then I’ll walk out right now and I—”
“Don’t,” he cut in, panicking. “Don’t do that. Please don’t do that. I can’t breathe thinking you’ll go.”
Namjoon’s eyes were large, sincere – but sympathetic too. “In that case… I need you to know that I don’t care anymore. Okay? I don’t care about all the things we’ve been angry about for years. I don’t care about the arguments about jobs, parents, other fuck-ups… We have so many fuck-ups. We could build a shrine to them at this point, alright? But I don’t care because I’ve forgiven us. You and me both. I’ve forgiven us.” Namjoon took in a deep breath. “But if you haven’t forgiven me? If you’re still punishing me or mad at me for what I did back then, then you need to let me know right now.”