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  1. Rec *

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    Summary

    “Where…” Izzy struggles to find his voice and finally manages it. “Where did you find that? Did Bonnet give it to you?” He’s having to stop himself from careening forward and ripping the shirt off Edward’s back.

    He tries not to notice the way Edward’s face brightens at the mention of Bonnet’s name.

    “No, it’s mine—one of my two. The other one still looks the same, but when I woke up… Look how fine this is now, Iz!”

    “It’s…” Izzy’s tongue feels thick but his brain, somehow, provides the word. “Purple.”

    (A Pleasantville AU.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,545
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    500
    Bookmarks:
    110
    Hits:
    3,039

    28 Sep 2022

  2. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    When Stede typed ‘leather gay bars near me’ in his phone, only one result popped up.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,039
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    247
    Kudos:
    1,604
    Bookmarks:
    286
    Hits:
    18,591

    21 Sep 2022

  3. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    "You’re a virgin,” Gideon said, testing it out. "Huh."

    Harrow didn’t like the sound of that huh. She knew Gideon’s noises, and that was a thoughtful, sinister huh. That was the same huh she’d made before putting canned tuna in Crux’s work boots.

    Her eyes narrowed. “What.”

    Gideon cocked her head to the side. “Is there a reason you’re waiting?” There was no judgement in the question— only genuine curiosity.

    Perhaps it was this that made Harrow more inclined to answer. “I don’t have the time to look for someone new,” She shrugged. “And my available pool is… somewhat limited.”

    “Well,” Gideon said, with just a hint of conspiracy in those glittering golden eyes. “If you ever want to change that, you have my number.”

    What? What?

    Harrow blinked. “What?”

    Or: the five times Gideon and Harrow successfully bone, and the one time they don't.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    42,138
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    288
    Kudos:
    4,043
    Bookmarks:
    919
    Hits:
    60,921

    18 Sep 2022

  4. Rec 86

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    Summary

    After what was meant to be a casual discussion with a sea witch goes predictably awry, Stede gets afflicted by a curse – and, as his luck would have it, the only person around to help him with it is Izzy.

    Now, if only they could stop arguing with one another long enough to get Stede cured before the rest of the crew returns…

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,942
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    90
    Kudos:
    590
    Bookmarks:
    86
    Hits:
    4,662

    27 Aug 2022

  5. Rec *

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    Summary

    “You want to fight me, tonight?”

    “Yes,” Ed gasps, “oh, God, Stede, yes, you fucking — ah,” and Stede, the bastard, kisses up Ed’s jaw to suck at his earlobe because that’s one of the spots he knows hits Ed right in the cock, lights him up like lightning, and if Ed wasn’t hard before he’s fucking aching for it now.

    Ed and Stede play one of their favourite games.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,633
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    110
    Kudos:
    962
    Bookmarks:
    214
    Hits:
    8,710

    27 Aug 2022

  6. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    The 80s are in full swing, and the golden decade of Nintendo Gameboys’ and Sony Walkmans’ has never looked better. In the neon jungle, Stede Bonnet, a young salaryman, meets enigmatic mechanic apprentice Edward Teach, and the pair strike up an unlikely friendship via fax machine, page beepers and gifts in the mail.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    118,107
    Chapters:
    90/?
    Comments:
    2,616
    Kudos:
    4,131
    Bookmarks:
    1,134
    Hits:
    129,096

    08 Aug 2022

  7. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    Izzy still doesn't precisely know how to feel about work this morning, but it's somewhere between scorn and dread.

    He's already encountered the new General Manager's influence; Edward's unilateral decision last week to change his signature block to read co-General Manager, for fuck's sake, which Izzy had had to push back on. Izzy's also had actual contact with him; brief, over Teams. His impression of the man wasn't precisely flattering.

    Day one of the High Income Tax Policy and Enforcement Branch, and Izzy doesn't really have any idea what to expect.

    Israel Hands has been the Executive Officer to Edward Teach, General Manager of High Income Tax Enforcement, for a long time. He knows this job, he knows Edward, and he knows how to keep his life separate from work - for the most part.

    And then the branch is restructured to include Stede Bonnet, General Manager of Tax Policy, and his team of fucking clowns. Suddenly Izzy has two bosses, irritating coworkers, and a rapidly disintegrating line between the personal and the professional.

    Not to mention Edward's behaving more erratically than usual.

    (It's a romcom).

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    76,444
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    1,293
    Kudos:
    1,195
    Bookmarks:
    388
    Hits:
    24,748

    06 Aug 2022

  8. Rec *

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    Summary

    Being stranded on a desert island was a novel idea when he was reading about it – especially the flowery romance novels that he keeps on the top shelf, where he could keep them away from judgemental eyes. He’d spent more than one afternoon reading about luxurious castles made of leaves and trees, of songs and music and love found while being utterly lost. There’d even been a dream or two of Edward ravishing him on the sand, just the two of them in their own little world.

    The reality is rather… unpleasant.

    Most unpleasantly, he’s stuck here with Izzy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,888
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    215
    Kudos:
    1,184
    Bookmarks:
    265
    Hits:
    8,537

    13 Jul 2022

  9. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    Stede fell in love with Ed the day they met, the moment the man walked into Stede’s newly opened bakery and breathed reverently, “Holy shit, this is fucking insane.”

    The only hitch? Stede is pretty sure Ed is married and off-limits.

    Until a few weeks later, Ed kisses him.

    Otherwise known as the fic where Stede assumes Ed and Izzy are married so he's now part of a throuple, and ends up saving a marriage that didn't actually exist in the first place.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,177
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    657
    Kudos:
    1,755
    Bookmarks:
    337
    Hits:
    24,063

    12 Jul 2022

  10. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    "I don't have demands," Bonnet says. "This isn't a hostage negotiation. But to start, I think we should stop quarreling over him like a pair of hungry jackals."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,996
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    282
    Kudos:
    1,789
    Bookmarks:
    430
    Hits:
    16,946

    12 Jul 2022

  11. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    Stede starts holding open cabin hours to allow the crew to air their grievances. It goes about as well as you’d expect.

    AKA my “Stede is going to go off like a horny volcano when he finally gets laid” fic.

    *

    Featuring Stede’s cursed yet sexy moustache, Swede lore and Lucius being altogether too good at his job(s). Unbetaed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,183
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    80
    Kudos:
    1,148
    Bookmarks:
    202
    Hits:
    7,041

    10 Jul 2022

  12. Rec 8

    Words:
    23,668
    Works:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    8

    08 Jul 2022

  13. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    Fifteen years earlier, a newly minted captain Blackbeard decides to kidnap himself a wife. (It's Stede. The wife is Stede.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,817
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    313
    Kudos:
    618
    Bookmarks:
    110
    Hits:
    9,871

    28 Jun 2022

  14. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    It’s “doesn’t mean a thing,” that gets Ed into trouble. Because, turns out, it means a fucking a lot.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,912
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    150
    Kudos:
    1,333
    Bookmarks:
    446
    Hits:
    16,802

    11 Jun 2022

  15. Rec 17

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    Summary

    For all of Bruce's overthinking, Selina finding him goes nothing like he imagined it might. His evening gets even weirder and more unplanned from there until it ends in a disaster of his own making. After he gets his head out of his ass, he has to figure out how to make it up to Selina, and that doesn't go how he imagined it either.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,112
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    81
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1,720

    17 May 2022

  16. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    Stiles' sophomore year starts something like this:
    3 FourLokos
    + 1 peer-pressuring cat
    - 1 best bro to end all best bros
    = 1 Craigslist ad headline that reads "str8 dude - m4m - strictly platonic".
    Derek is the fool who replies.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    84,092
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    2,053
    Kudos:
    18,406
    Bookmarks:
    6,959
    Hits:
    563,627

    14 May 2022

  17. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    The British aren’t too happy about the contract being broken on the Act of Grace and this time Stede Bonnet gets to be the one coming to the rescue.

    “Stede,” Ed says and then buries his head in Stede’s neck, his chin bristly against the soft skin. “This is real yeah? I’m not fucking dead or something?”

     “No one’s dead,” Stede says firmly, petting his head. “Though that does remind me we are in a certain amount of peril right now.”

    “Oh fuck, right,” Ed says, looking up. “So this is a rescue then?”

    “Well, yes,” Stede says, trying not to feel offended. “Did you think it was a conjugal visit?”

    Ed shrugs.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,816
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    279
    Kudos:
    2,429
    Bookmarks:
    560
    Hits:
    21,886

    08 May 2022

  18. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Now, look at that,” Stede said, smiling a little. “I knew you had it in you. If you can try to kill your captain in contempt, you can most certainly beg for forgiveness at his feet.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,964
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    147
    Kudos:
    2,376
    Bookmarks:
    283
    Hits:
    20,434

    08 Apr 2022

  19. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    “You’ve never been anything but–perfectly considerate, my love,” Stede manages weakly, staring straight up at the ceiling, flexing a hand in Ed’s hair. Ed can be impatient in bed, erratic, firm and greedy in his touches, but he’s always asked Stede from the first– Is this ok? Like this? Is it good? Am I hurting you? 

    “You’ve never hurt me, or…” His cheeks pinken slightly, “Well, beyond what I imagine is the normal amount of soreness the day after, of course, but…” 

    Ed grunts, and scrapes his teeth over the bone of Stede’s jaw in a way that makes him gasp and brings him right back to himself. Ed seems to freeze at the noise, fingers digging shakily into Stede’s hip. “But what if I wanted to?”
    -------------------

    After a rough raid on another ship, Stede lets Ed express the Blackbeard side of himself a little more privately.

    Shameless PWP with lots of feelings.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,739
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    68
    Kudos:
    1,724
    Bookmarks:
    336
    Hits:
    14,146

    08 Apr 2022

  20. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    Stede Bonnet runs through the misty forest.

    He is definitely not crying.

    He runs in ribboned shoes that were only made for strolling in the city. His white calves flash like those of a deer, covered in silk stockings. And stupid, stupid: his scarlet cape flows in the wind, like a trail of brilliant blood, marking him prey.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,670
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    96
    Kudos:
    784
    Bookmarks:
    164
    Hits:
    4,737

    08 Apr 2022

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