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    18 Jun 2025

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    18 Jun 2025

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    Therapy's a bitch, but PTSD is worse. An in-depth character study of Bucky Barnes as he reconciles his years with Hydra in the wake of Civil War.

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    I don’t really know who I am. I do know that James Buchanan Barnes is dead. He’s a pile of bones at the bottom of a ravine. He’s a side bar in some other guy’s museum exhibit that might not even exist anymore. James Barnes would puke if he could see what he became. His parents and sister and friends would cry.

    I don’t know what’s left over now, but I know it’s not good. And I don’t think it can ever be good.

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    17 Jun 2025

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    Then he took a deep breath and he changed. He ironed out every fold in his posture and his face until he looked like Superman again. His shoulders were broad, his gaze was confident, and his smile showed no sign of embarrassment or fear.

    It’s genuinely uncomfortable to watch.

    Especially since Bruce knows that change. He’s seen it in the mirror before entering parties or nightclubs. He’s always referred to it, internally, as 'putting on my better face.' The façade is his least favourite part of the day, ranking just below 'getting punched by supervillains.'

    The idea that Superman is just Kal's better face, that would explain a lot.

    It would also mean Bruce isn't alone.

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    15 Jun 2025

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    “What is all this?”

    “Keys to Steve’s place in Brooklyn, and his motorcycle. Some records about his, ah, accounts and things. He—well, he hasn’t been declared officially dead, we can’t, you know, say anything about the time travel, but—”

    “He’s not coming back,” says Bucky, before Banner has to try to couch it softly, or spare Bucky’s assumed feelings. It’s a courtesy Bucky doesn’t need. His feelings have seemed very far away since Steve left. “I know.”

    "Yeah, so, uh, I just figured you should have all this."

    Bucky is doing fine after the Blip. He has his amends, he has his exit strategies, he goes to therapy. Steve's gone, but that's fine, Bucky can deal with that, even if he can't deal with feeling like a ghost in the apartment that Steve left behind. But when Steve returns, they'll both have to deal with how to rebuild a friendship and a home that are haunted by the ghosts of who they used to be. Their methods of doing so are perhaps less than ideal, what with how they involve more sex and stealthy surprise interior decoration than any actual communication. Maybe that's all they need to make a new home together.

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    15 Jun 2025