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In a peaceful suburb of London, a masked killer begins their systematic eradication of the Harper family. Can Aziraphale and Crowley use their knowledge of slasher movies to survive, or will paranoia and suspicion rip them apart?
The Good Omens homage to Scream that no one asked for.
Happy Halloween.
She snatches up the house phone on the second ring with a beaming smile on her face.
Hello," she says brightly, "Muriel speaking."
"Hello Muriel, what's your favourite scary movie?" An electronic voice snarls down the line.
She giggles, she can't help it.
"Oh, I don't like scary movies. I like animated films and musicals."
She hangs up the phone.
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An actor and a photographer meet in a dark alleyway one fateful night. All it takes is a single act of kindness for something truly special to take root.
He lifts the camera, turns the little screen to Aziraphale so that he can watch as he deletes each photo one at a time.
“Why would you do that?” It’s barely a whisper.
“My job’s to take pictures of celebrities up to no good, not make cute boys cry.”
“I’m not-“
“What, a cute boy? I beg to differ.”
“A celebrity.” He doesn’t deny that he’s been crying. Somehow, that makes Crowley feel so much worse.
“I respectfully disagree. You’re Aziraphale Fell, star of more movies than I can list."
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Crowley loves to swim. If asked, he probably wouldn’t be able to say exactly why; he’s just always felt more at home in water than on dry land. Mostly, he thinks, it’s the monotony, the back and forth, back and forth, surging ever forwards between two walls, steady and unending, the unrelenting rhythm soothing the race of spiralling thoughts that plague his every waking moment. That’s probably it. It has absolutely nothing to do with the new hot lifeguard who volunteers on a Friday afternoon. Nope, definitely not.
Crowley has a crush on the new lifeguard at his pool and does everything he can to catch his attention.
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Crowley wears his most shit eating grin as he reaches forward, moving slowly to emphasise the gravitas of the decision.
He selects the seat immediately to the left of the one that is occupied.
“No, really?” Adam laughs, his expression perfectly mirroring the bubble of giddy joy that rises quickly in Crowley’s tummy.
“Oh yes.” Crowley chuckles.
“You know each other?”
“Well, we will shortly.”
Crowley shelters from the rain in an old-fashioned cinema and meets a very special someone.
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Sorry, Right Number (aka The Dick Pic Fic) by Thavron for Slurpi13
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV)
01 Apr 2025
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Crowley sends an unsolicited dick pic to the wrong number. Adorably awkward textual flirting ensues.
Good evening, I am sorry to inform you that you seem to have sent this message to the wrong number. Your genitals are quite lovely, and I am sure that the intended recipient will be disappointed to have missed out. As I am not the intended recipient, I have deleted the image. I hope that offers some peace of mind. Regards, AZF
Recent series
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- Works:
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- Bookmarks:
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BATB 12 Days of Christmas Challenge by Thavron
Fandom: Beauty and the Beast (2017), Beauty and the Beast - All Media Types
13 Dec 2021
- Words:
- 4,705
- Works:
- 3
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Summary
A nice and accurate prophecy of the season following the parting ways of an angel and his demon—if such an Ineffable Plan were written by a benevolent God….
In this tale, the Second Coming looms large. As the effort to thwart Heaven’s wiles is complicated by unexpected friends, an ex-Inspector Constable, a guileful Metatron, and a Heavenly floor full of the Blessed Dead—Aziraphale and Crowley find that navigating their relationship is not mutually exclusive from saving the world from Armageddon.
There is an outcome where the Nightingales sing in Berkeley Square. The angels just need each other—and maybe a little help—to find it.
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To Determine Intimacy by GroovyNightStrawberry for SpectrallyDistracted
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
04 Jul 2025
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For fifteen years, Aziraphale has watched his best friend go out every weekend and go home with a different man.
He's not jealous - that sort of thing isn't for him - and he's not judging.
He is, however, wrong. Quite spectacularly so.
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“Aw, what happened? Bad day at the office?” He’s both very proud and very ashamed of the whiny voice that comes out of his mouth. “Did you suddenly realise your esteemed coworkers are a bunch of tossers?”
Aziraphale keeps looking at him in a way that makes him feel exposed even behind his sunglasses, and he doesn’t waver. He just… stares. No, glares. And he doesn’t move either, doesn’t even breathe properly.
The angel slowly wets his lips like he’s tasting a subpar chocolate mousse, tilts up his chin and says: “No,” like he’s stabbing the air with it.
Crowley laughs, a short, ugly thing that quickly turns sour in the back of his throat.
“Of course you didn’t.”---
Or: 5 times Aziraphale and Crowley don't talk + 1 time they finally do.Bookmarked by Thavron
06 May 2025
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Aziraphale can’t actually be suggesting what Crowley infers he’s implying… Satan bless it, he can’t even bring himself to think the thought without discorporating on the spot.
“On a what?” he chokes out, because there can be no room for error here.
Aziraphale glances away, then opens and closes his mouth multiple times before whispering: “On a date.”
“Which date?” he asks dumbly, hands desperately itching for his sunglasses. He’d break eye-contact and look for them if he didn’t suspect he was hallucinating the whole thing. “Like… like a specific day?”
Aziraphale’s expression, a heady mix of hopeful and anxious, melts once again into haughty annoyance.
“Goodness gracious, no. I meant on a date. Like… like, you know, romantically,” he clarifies, fidgeting. “With another person.”
Whatever excitement Crowley was starting to feel dies a very sudden, very depressing death...*
(Or: Aziraphale tries to ask Crowley on a date, but they misunderstand each other. So Crowley agrees to help Aziraphale pick up someone in a bar while secretly trying to sabotage him; little does he know that the angel is also trying to sabotage the whole thing. Shenanigans ensue. And kisses too.)
Bookmarked by Thavron
04 May 2025
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Bookmarked by Thavron
02 Apr 2025
