Chapter 1: 25th of April
Summary:
After their journey through the Neo World Program, the survivors of class 77 finally wake up to a new world once more.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
25/04 - 19:56
The darkness is unending as Izuru lies there. Frozen. Warmth is still pooling around him and the soft hum of the chambers can be heard rhythmically pulsating from all sides.
What happened? Did something go wrong with the machine? Nothing feels particularly different from before he went in.
No, that's not quite true. His body seems to ache and his muscles burn for disuse. It's a strange uncomfortable feeling biting under his skin but no matter how much he tries to move his body a seem to want to cooperate. It’s almost like he’s been untethered. Disconnected from his own body.
Fighting against his own body, he does his best to pry open his eyes. It takes uncomfortably long but eventually they flutter open and the eerie green light he remembers from the chambers swells around him. It stings his eyes viciously and completely fills his vision. The glass lid above him is fogged up and blurred, obscuring the world laying out beyond it.
Laying there, unable to move, he tries to determine what just happened. It feels like mere seconds ago that he laid down in the eerie chamber with the others but his body tells a different story. Days. Weeks. How long had he been confined and powerless? Did this mean Junko had been successful in her ploy?
He doesn’t know.
He doesn’t know.
An unfamiliar fluttering feeling aches in his chest as he strains against his own human limitations. His own mental distractions are doing little to overcome the odd feeling.
He’s relieved when the repetitive drone of the chamber is suddenly broken by the distant sound of footsteps approaching. The light, almost musical sound of the steps is already more than enough information for him to pick up exactly who it is.
Sure enough as the lid slides off the familiar odd silhouette of the brown haired girl that had helped set them up in this place appears. Her swirled ponytail bounces in an off-putting way as she runs up to him and peers down at his unmoving form. He's sure she told him her name when they first arrived but he never bothered to even think twice about it. If he really wanted to he could remember it from the archives of information in his mind but she’s not even worth that small slither of effort. Just another face from the crowd that will come and go from his presence.
It’s only now as she stares down at him, the green light reflecting off her skin unflatteringly, that it hits him like a truck. There she is right above him and yet he can’t so much as lift a hand to wave her away. She could do anything to him now and he wouldn’t be able to stop her. She could kill him and he’d be trapped pathetically.
Something within him tightens and constricts as he strains to move anything at all. The most he can manage though is blinking disorientingly at her which only makes him more vulnerable to any potential onslaughts as the darkness covers his vision entirely.
“Hajime! Are you okay?” Her voice is grating, like sandpaper tearing at his skin, but he can’t cover his ears or do anything to shield him from it. His furious series of blinks must be more than enough of a confirmation for her though, “Thank god! We were so worried we’d lose you guys too."
Are those tears in her eyes? She's clouded by sentiment and fear for people who have done nothing but harm to her. He supposes that's why Junko will always win in the end…
He wonders if she knows his role in the events that transpired. It was her who submerged him in the system. Her who was too busy excitedly explaining the system to notice him uploading the virus. When did she realise her mistake? More than ever, the void in his memory and experiences is working against him. Days worth of memories he has no access to him that everyone else will know about. That fluttery feeling returns in full force, gnawing at his insides.
Still unable to move, the girl reaches down towards his stiff body and clutches his hand. His body shivers of it’s own volition as he tries to shrink away from her unsuccessfully. It's like his body is having some kind of allergic reaction to her very presence. However she's either too unobservant to notice or she simply doesn't care. Given her tears earlier, he's inclined to believe the former.
With very little effort she yanks him forward until he's completely upright and wobbling weakly. His body seems to somewhat have woken up as he reaches out a hand either side to keep him sat upright. Trying to balance in whatever feeble way he can. Refusing to let her see just how weakened he is. If she wanted to kill him now will be the best chance she’s going to get.
The odd girl simply stands next to him, her eyes bright and still sparkling from tears. He can see her mouth moving at a million miles per hour but he can't hears any of her words. The static sound of his own mind is completely drowning her out. He doubts she has anything of worth hearing though.
Unable to hear her, his eyes start taking in the rest of the room instead. Surveying for potential threats. All he can see are a few open chambers between the closed ones with the other people he entered with sat upright. Other members from the future foundation that had submerged them here are stood by each of the dazed members, just like this girl is for him. He drinks in their appearances and tries to place their names. He'd never bothered to think about most of their names before - they were just mindless, predictable puppets of Junko - but now their names suddenly flutter to the forefront of his mind like it's the most natural thing in the world.
Fuyuhiko, Akane, Sonia and Kazuichi. The survivors he supposes.
He spent more than enough time watching over the despairs from afar during their 'reign' but these aren't the four he'd have selected to survive a killing game. He never did know them before Junko drained them of anything interesting though. Perhaps thinking that would be giving them too much credit though.
Did this mean Junko failed? The idea doesn't seem to quite fit in his mind but the proof is right here. None of the dead bodies around them are moving. They're all dead still and perfectly sealed beneath glass. The only people moving are the five of them awkwardly fumbling as they are assisted with sitting upright.
Junko failed. Again.
He feels like laughing. The warm feeling emanating from inside him and rippling out. No sound ever comes out though.
She failed again.
After all her talk and grandeur she really was as useless and boring as the rest of them. A fashionista more than an analyst. She did promise him something unpredictable though so she delivered in that sense at least.
"Are you okay?" The girl leans towards him again, her face crumpled up unflatteringly.
This time he is able to move his body and he instinctively retreats from her. She bites her lip but thankfully backs off at once. As soon as she’s out of his personal space he let's out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. His head somehow throbbing as if he has just been held underwater. Lungs burning and screaming for oxygen.
Did this program do something to him?
"I’m fine." He tries to speak but his voice comes out crackly and disjointed. He feels a strange warmth inch across his cheeks at the sound of his own pathetic failure.
"Don't worry, you've been asleep for twenty three days so you might be a little stiff for a while." She gives what he assumes is supposed to be a reassuring smile but it is nothing of the sort.
Twenty three days. His past self wasn't as pathetic as he'd assumed then. Twenty three days is all it took to destroy Junko for a second time - and for good this time too. He's not going to make her another AI this time. She's outlived her usefulness at this point. If she needs him just to keep her functioning then she is hardly worth his time - surely even she would agree with that.
He can see every other despair turned to look at him, their eyes foreign and dripping with emotions. Confusion? Relief? Disappointment? He has no idea… For once, he can't read them at all. Just that alone has him twitching. Swallowing hard as he tries to make sense of all of this. Fighting with his own mind as hard as he can.
"Let's get you out of here then."
She cautiously reaches towards him, waiting for a negative reaction, but he moves towards her instead. Their hands meet in the middle as she pulls him further out. Hooking one arm under his she half carries him out of the chamber.
That warmth from before brushes across his cheeks again as he flails on the ground like an incompetent child. Legs buckling under his weight until he's utterly reliant on the girl at his side. He struggles with his own legs, trying to shrug the girl off as soon as possible but it's useless. There is no point in even trying. Eventually he succumbs to his own weakness and allows her toned arm to hoist him up. Gripping onto him with everything she has.
"Don't worry, I've got you." She mutters. Her voice is far too close to his ears, grating against him and making a shiver run down his spine. Goosebumps erupting all over his skin without his consent.
He's thankfully distracted from the invasive feeling as a thud echoes around the room. Everyone turns their head to see Akane sprawled on the floor. The tall boy with dreaded hair standing over her awkwardly.
"Help her up, Hiro." The stern girl that had first greeted him when he disembarked the boat sighs deeply. Standing up as straight as ever as she surveys them all with her cutting gaze.
"Useless." The lanky boy with glasses rolls his eyes and spits out the words. Lips twitching and pursed as he sneers down his nose at each of them.
He can't say he disagrees. The strange boy - Hiro or whatever they'd called him - can barely lift her, struggling at yanking her up by the arm. Bit by bit he can see her growing redder, the vein on her forehead throbbing as she grits her teeth loud enough for everyone to hear around the room. Her hand twitching into tight fists as she prepares herself to shove her 'helper' off at a moment's notice. She's barely more than skin and bones, all gaunt edges and deep pitted skin, yet he seems to fumble his way through the entire interaction.
Eventually he manages to hoist her up, her skeletal body wobbling unstably every time he moves. It’s hardly the most elegant looking thing but he supposes it does the job.
"We need to get you guys somewhere more comfortable." The sound of Naegi’s voice has his blood turning to ice in his veins as he whips is head around to examine the shorter boy. Appraising him once more.
While he might not have wanted to waste his time and energy on these people’s names, it was impossible to forget his name. Not when Junko treated it like a prayer, never shutting up about him even before he helped lead to her downfall. Given the situation they’re in he shouldn’t be surprised to see him here again and yet it still has him double taking as he examines the other boys dazed expression.
Izuru can't remember ever seeing anything that even slightly resembled comfort when they were first lead through the building but he doesn't argue. They weren't exactly given the grand tour before, all these people wanted was to get them shoved inside those chambers as fast as possible. Hell, they didn't even know who he was.
"We have a few rooms and beds set up for you all across the hall." The stern girl almost sounds soft and warm as she speaks but he doesn't trust it for a second.
What happened inside that machine? They must have realised they'd been duped. They don't seem remarkably unintelligent - well, some of them don't at least - so they must know something is up.
Who knew not knowing could churn his stomach so much…
Still resting his weight on the swirly haired girl, they hobble out of the room and cross to the opposite side. No one says a word but the sound of their shuffling feet says more than enough. Swelling around their room as the sound gradually grinds more and more against the inside of his skull.
As soon as they enter the room Izuru locks his eyes on the nearest couch. The less time he needs to spend pressed up next to this girl, the better. Before they've even gotten to the couch he pushes off of her and half walks and half falls the last few steps. Fuyuhiko isn't far behind, tripping like a fawn as both of them lay unceremoniously on the couch.
For the first time Izuru has to hunch over and take deep, raking breaths. He can feel them rumbling through his chest. He digs his nails into his legs as they shiver and tremble meekly. At this point he doesn't care if he's breaking skin. Any distraction from the pounding in his head and aching of his body will be welcomed.
"Are you okay?" The girl has sunk to her knees, trying to make eye contact. He turns his head as far from her as he can and scrunches his eyes closed, "I'll get you some water! Staying hydrated is important!"
He can hear her footsteps slowly growing quieter as she runs across the room to get some water from somewhere. He gets a few precious seconds of peace before she's back and pushing water into his hand. The stubborn part of him that he never knew existed wants to throw it in her face but the dry cracking of his lips tells a different story. Just the sound of the water sloshing next to him is making his mouth feel dry and desolate. And yet even swallowing is suddenly such a chore.
Before he can think twice he grabs the cup and gulps it down within seconds. Is his mouth supposed to feel more dry now than it did before? He has no time to ask for more though as she's already run off to get water for everyone else.
While he's waiting for her to finish he looks up and tries to acclimate to the new room. It's as dull and bare as the other room with a single television in front of the variety of couches on one side and a kitchen dining room on the other.
The others have all collapsed on the couch too. Akane seems to have thrown her head back, her eyes closed softly and her chest slowly rising and falling with her shallow breaths. The others all seem in a similar state to him, fighting their body for control and dominance. Fuyuhiko’s dead blue eye is staring off ahead, not rotten but unmoving in the socket. The unsettling gaze of Junko following him even in death.
He looks to the other future foundation members. Much to his surprise, they aren't the only ones suffering at the moment. Naegi has his head in his hands as he slowly massages his temples. At a glance the girl and boy either side of him don't appear bothered at all but he can see the way their knuckles whiten and their eyes glaze over every so often. Only the swirly haired girl and 'Hiro' seem relatively unbiased.
By the time the swirly haired girl sits down they have a table full of water glasses that even they will probably never get through. All of the glasses sitting there, glistening under the fluorescent light of the room around them. Part of him wants to reach over and grab another one but he doesn’t trust his hands to be stable enough to keep a hold of one anymore.
The first one to stand up is the stern girl from before. She gives her skirt a calculated brush down before carefully speaking with a steady, cool voice, "Before we start, I just want to ask how much you remember from the last few days." Every word she speaks seems to have an untold weight. She's reading all of them in ways he doesn't even understand yet and it makes something hot writhe inside him.
"I do not remember a thing." Sonia holds her head up high as she speaks.
She looks as perfect as the last time he saw her. Even after spending weeks confined to a small coffin, every strand of her hair seems to still be in place. But more impressive than anything else, she's sat up perfectly, poised as if she was still on her throne giving out death orders. While the others seem second away from being taken out by infection or a strong wind, she almost looks normal. As normal as someone can look in this situation.
It’s only worse when you compare her to Kazuichi who is on her other side. Izuru is pretty sure he is supposed to be looking subtly to the side to examine Izuru but it’s anything but subtle at this point as he sways on the spot, "No…none of us do."
Out of all Junko's mindless slaves, Kazuichi had been the one he'd seen the most. He could be considered her favourite, if she even had those. But even so, seeing him clean without the thick layer of oil, grime, and blood almost makes him like an entirely different person. He supposes this is better but that isn’t saying much.
Yet the most different thing is his eyes. Physically both eyes are the same but you could be mistaken for thinking they weren't. Gone is the feral, psychotic look that always permeated them. Now they're wide with soft, worn down edges. They almost look like they're shimmering in the dull lights of the room.
"Great…" The blonde boy mumbles, too quietly for most people to hear but he's not most people. If he had the energy to care he might rolls his eyes but instead he just ignores him completely as the girl continues to explain.
"Then I will try to make this easy for you to understand." In Izuru's limited experience, nothing good comes after a sentence like that, "As you all likely already know, an AI of Junko was uploaded into the program when you were all logged in. Your brain dead friends are the result of the ensuing killing game."
Brain dead. He doesn't know why the words stick out in his mind. As soon as he learnt about the Neo World Program he knew what would happen if someone did in fact die in it. They all knew what they were doing when they agreed. They might not have all been gifted with very many brain cells, but they were certainly intelligent enough to know the stakes coming into this at the very least. So why is he getting hung up on that now…?
"When your avatars got to the graduation ceremony we were able to enter the program to help you and you were given three choices. You could choose to stay in the program, trapping us and you with Junko for eternity. You could graduate and free Junko into the world through your deceased friend's bodies in order to destroy these versions of yourselves. Or you could undo the program and return to your bodies without any memory change, destroying Junko forever."
Junko had gotten so close to success again then. In the back of his mind he wonders how large of a role Naegi had in her downfall this time. Another failure at the very last second to the same people.
The blonde boy looks away and pushes up his glasses obnoxiously, "It's not hard to figure out what you chose."
Although he'd been hunched and holding his head just a few seconds before, Naegi stands up enthusiastically. Ready to launch into a dull speech at a moment's notice, "You made a worthy sacrifice and saved the world from Junko. Your avatars had hope for the future and we won't let your hope die. We promised to keep protecting you - even if you can't remember what happened in the program. You can still be saved."
This is the Ultimate Hope, huh?
He's not particularly noteworthy, even sat here in front of him he doesn't seem very charismatic unlike his opposite: Junko. The sparkle in his eyes is foreign and alien after spending so much time in the filthy cesspool that is the outside world but even that can be easily overlooked. Every word that comes out of his mouth is predictable and meaningless but he's the one who beat Junko over and over again.
"Hope, huh." Fuyuhiko scoffs quietly to himself. His beady blue eye is gazing through Naegi this time and Izuru could swear he sees him shiver under the glare. Does he know this is Junko's eye? Izuru can't imagine not being able to tell.
"You really think we can be saved." Kazuichi snorts and raises a single eyebrow. The thin scar running through his eyebrow stretches and bends awkwardly, extenuating the expression.
"I know you can be."
He says it with so much conviction that Izuru can only sit there dumbfounded. For the first time in his life he feels like laughing. What is he even talking about?
When the stern girl opens her mouth he's expecting her to completely disagree with every utterance that spouted out her colleagues mouth but instead - "He's right. If you let us help you we can do everything we can to help you undo your brainwashing. You just need to be open to the idea and ready to ask for help."
Coming face to face with the hope Junko fought so hard against he can't say he disagrees with Junko. It's somehow both illogical and completely predictable. Stable and naive. He'd hoped for better. This whole venture has been a complete waste of time then.
"We do not need to be saved." Venom oozes out of every word Sonia speaks, "You might not understand but we enjoy the despair. It is not something we need saving from."
The blonde boy lets out a deep sigh and stands up to walk over to the kitchen. He can feel the weight of every step as the boy trudges away from them all. As he lowers his head he can just about see the swirly haired girl’s hands curl into a fist around the fabric of her trousers.
"Then we can't allow you to leave. For protection of course.” Just like that the stern girl puts her foot down without a moment hesitation or uncertainty.
“Yeah, sure. Protection from us.” Fuyuhiko rolls his eyes eye.
“Of course. Protection for you too. The future foundation and the world itself isn’t exactly happy with you and we intend to protect you from all of them too - whether you want us to or not.” Despite her sanctimonious words, they are nothing more than prisoners. Trapped here until they become too dangerous or risky and the future foundation can eradicate them for good. It doesn’t matter though. They all came here knowing full well they could just be executed on the spot by the future foundation. If they think this will scare them then they are sorely mistaken.
“Call it whatever you like. That doesn’t change what it is.” Akane speaks for the first time, her voice somehow both gravelly and light. He is almost surprised she can talk, considering the state she’s in. Her voice barely even audible as it scratches roughly against the inside of her throat.
“You truly aren’t prisoners, however I know we won’t be able to change your views of it. We will always be here to help you if you ever change your mind though. I don't know what Junko did to you at school but we did get to see the people you used to be and they wouldn't have wanted this for you." She speaks slowly with lidded eyes. The edges of a yawn stroke her voice.
Their past selves. He feels like scoffing at her. Whoever it was in that machine, it wasn't him. They might have both had this body at some point but they are by no means the same people. Hajime was too weak to understand what Hopes Peak wanted from him so why should he get any say in Izuru's life? If he'd been stronger and smarter he would be here instead of Izuru. But he isn't so he has forfeited his say in anything. He's not going to listen to a corpse.
Without another word the girl reaches down smoothly and takes Naegi’s hand, pulling him up to stand beside her with complete ease. Unsurprisingly, he looks disappointed and won't meet their eyes but he doesn't say a word this time. He just allows her to lead him out of the room, the other two boys trailing behind them.
The door closes behind them leaving them all alone with the swirly haired girl who had woken him. They must not care about her if they're leaving her here all alone. Either that or she just drew the short straw this time.
"So…" The girl claps her hands loudly. At once Kazuichi flinches back as if he’s been woken from some kind of daze. His gaze is fixated on the final girl left in front of them.
She laughs uncomfortably and forces a stilted smile, “If you’re going to be staying here for a while I should show you where you’re staying.” She puts a good foot forward and heads off towards the kitchen.
For a moment none of them move. Not only can they not move properly, but why should they? They’re just fancy prisoners after all. It is far easier to just sit here and watch her fumble about.
“Oh right, I forgot.” She blushes profusely and rushes back over to them, “Uh…you can’t exactly walk around yet but this is the living space. It's got the seating areas as well as a pretty well stocked kitchen! We’ve all cooked in it before and it seemed great!” She seems to be awkwardly buzzing about the room. He can’t quite determine if it’s the nerves or if she's just naturally like that.
Still desperately trying to point to areas without moving, she gestures behind them, "And those are your rooms. There's one for each of you! I know they might not be much but it's all we could really manage since most the future foundation is against us on this…" She swallows deeply and gives them all an expectant look.
At once he pictures the last 'room' he had. A dull metal frame and springy mattress in the middle of a dark room. He can't imagine what more you would need. He's seen many other people's rooms since Junko set him free but they all seemed far more complicated than they needed to be. He doubts even they can mess up a bedroom really.
As they're unable to move she has to quickly move on, leaving the rooms themselves still a mystery. "And if you go out there you'll find access to the rooftop, the surgical ward and doctors office as well as all our temporary rooms. I think there's a library and gym too but I've been a bit too busy to check," she scratches the back of her neck with one hand, "you'll be able to see for yourself though."
With that she just pauses expectantly. The five of them are stuck sitting there in utter silence. What are they supposed to say? ‘Oh wow, sounds like lots of fun. Can't wait to enjoy our prison sentences here.’?
It's a relief when she finally breaks the silence to continue chattering more to herself than to them at this point, "Oh yeah, since we don't really have any staff the doctors office and stuff isn't normally staffed. We have a few people working under us that have been trying to help but it's risky to mess with the future foundation. They said they could come and examine you all today to see how they can help you recover. So expect that I guess." Her awkward laughter doesn't help her in the slightest, "Uhhh…so I'll take you to your rooms to try and relax a little before the doctors come to start poking at you."
He can barely hold himself from rolling his eyes as she drags him up again. He has enough feeling in his legs to support his body, even if he can't really move them on his own.
He finds himself looking back at the others muttering amongst themselves as he's dragged off alone. He barely even knows any of them but the idea of being taken off on his own makes that uncomfortable fluttering in his chest start up again. He tries to smother the constricting feeling to no avail.
As they get closer to the rooms he notices just how many there are. At a glance he already knows it must be fifteen. One for every member placed in the machine. The future foundation would have designed this wing for the innocent Hopes Peak students to recover after treating their trauma in the Neo World program. It will never be used like that though… Not anymore.
The image of the sealed pulsating chambers from the other room is seared into his mind. It's easy to say the numbers but actually seeing their open ones surrounded by the sea of sealed ones is different. So many unused rooms sat here waiting.
"Do you mind which room you have?" She asks him nonchalantly as they step into the corridor of rooms.
He shakes his head. He doubts any of them vary anyway. "Okay. We'll start with the nearest one then."
She carefully helps him balance so she can open the room door for him. His legs immediately feel like matchsticks seconds away from snapping. He manages to hold himself there though as she swings the door open and wraps her muscular arm around him once more.
Sure enough, it's nothing more than a white bed and a sterile desk in a small room. There aren't even shelves or places to put clothes. Just the bed, desk and icy white walls as far as the eye can see.
"Sorry, I know it's bar -" She begins apologising but he cuts her off.
"It's fine." He reaches forward and pulls himself out of her reach so he can hobble over to the bed on his own. His muscles sigh with relief as he sinks into the mattress. If the girl wasn't here he could fall backwards until he was surrounded by cushioned mattress.
"There is a lock on the inside of the door but there's none for the outside of the door." She moves over to demonstrate on the door, "It should give you some privacy at least, even if you can’t lock it when you're not in it."
Privacy, huh…
"It won't be too long until the doctors come so just keep yourself comfortable until then." She clears her throat as she examines the room, "I'll go take others to their rooms now then…"
He doesn't know what doctors are going tell them him that he doesn't already know? Honestly he's probably more qualified than them… Still there is no point arguing with her here and now. All he wants is her gone so he shouldn’t try to keep her here.
With that she turns to sprint out of the room. Her hair swishing behind her as she does whip around. She’s almost out of the door when he finds himself leaning forwards. Calling out to her before he can see sense and stop himself, "What's your name?"
She grinds to a halt, not turning to look at him. Just looking at her back he can't tell what's she's thinking in that exact moment. It’s not often that he sees her standing this still - not even breathing.
"Asahina. Aoi Asahina." She still doesn't turn to look at him. She doesn't even move. If he didn't know better he'd think she was under some kind of spell.
Then, just as suddenly as she'd stopped, she runs off again. She closes the door behind her, sealing him in. Straining his ears be can hear her chatting with the others but he couldn't care less what they're saying. Instead he lies back and rests his aching body.
Thoughts spiral in his head, running rampant. This entire place and situation is a confusing mess. Is this how he's supposed to live the rest of his life now? Trapped in these walls with these dull, useless people? He doubts these people could really do anything to stop them if he tried to leave - after all he is the true Ultimate Hope. But what’s waiting out there? The dull world he witnessed Junko create. Maybe he's just cursed to the boring and predictable.
He's not sure how much time passes as he lies there. Distant sounds fade into nothing over time. He listens to every second pass on a clock in the corridor until even those blur in his mind.
It's been a while since he's been able to just lie down and listen to peaceful nothing. Junko's world didn't have time for that kind of still or quiet. He's beginning to think that was a flaw with her grand master plan.
~~~
25/04 - 22:43
He's so engrossed in lying with his thoughts, he doesn't hear the doctors approaching until he hears the knock on his door. His heart rate leaps for a moment before he settles himself again.
"Come in." The words come out crackly and quiet but they must be able to hear him as the door promptly swings open.
With the door open he can see the other rooms in the corridor once more. A barrage of doctors have come as he can see other doors opening to let doctors in. Across from him he can see Fuyuhiko glaring at the approaching doctor before the door closes, hiding him from view once more.
"Hinata, right. Hajime Hinata." The doctor mutters, flicking through the papers casually.
He's dressed just like Izuru remembers them looking. The pristine white coat and everything. He's just like the ones from Hopes Peak, all clinical coldness and steely edges. He'd fit right in with that gaggle. In fact, he's with the future foundation so he very well could have come from Hopes Peak.
Izuru has to bite down on his tongue to keep himself from saying something unnecessary, "Izuru Kamukura." There's no point in lying about who he is now.
The doctor stares at him before looking down at his chart again. Double taking for just a moment as his lips purse together firmly. Izuru can see him scratch something out on the paper and scrawl what he assumes is his updated name.
"Okay, Kamukura." The doctor drops the clip board back to his side as he just remains by the door. Surveying Izuru from a distance, “As you're aware, I'm one of the doctors that was able to come here to check on you all. The Neo World Program can exert a toll on the body and mind - even if you didn’t successfully complete the program."
"Yes. Muscle atrophy." He tries to keep the sigh out of his voice. This is a waste of time…
"Somewhat. The Neo World Program was designed to keep the patients in as good condition as possible since it's designed for psychological treatment. We wouldn't want you permanently crippled while we tried to treat your mental state. You might be feeling some discomfort and aching for now but if it has worked as intended you should be able to recover from this in a few days. Just keep trying to use the muscles as much as possible, even if you are doing it while sat in bed." The doctor gives a saccharine smile which makes his skin tingle.
Without any warning the doctor starts to approach him. Every step the doctor takes seems to make his chest constrict a little more. Not just his chest, his throat has seized up.
What the - ?
He can see the doctor talking but not a single word reaches Izuru. Static has wrapped it around his head as he tries to keep breathing in and out without drawing the attention of the doctor. His entire body is burning and yet he’s still shivering at the same time. All the while the doctor is happily chattering away, focused on his clipboard as he raises it once more. Closing the distance between them as he tries to show something on the paper to Izuru.
For a moment he wonders if he's been poisoned. Did Asahina slip something in that water he chugged? No, he already knows what it is. It's anxiety. He’s having an anxiety attack. Him. It doesn't make sense at all.
"Kamukura, are you okay?" The doctors words cut through the haze of his mind. Sharp as his body flinches away without his consent.
"Of course."
"Is it okay if I do the tests then?" He shuffles slightly closer. Izuru can feel every centimeter between them. The gradually shrinking space slowly sucking the air out of his lungs.
"Of course."
The doctor watches him uncertainly but begins checking him over anyway. Once more he can barely hear the words the doctor says but he fights to control his breathing if nothing else. Focusing all his attention on keeping himself frozen solid as the doctor keeps moving his hands all over Izuru.
Every time their skin makes contact he feels like vomiting. He's practically gasping for air as the doctor asks him to unbutton his shirt. His shiny metal stethoscope glimmers in the light. It's nothing more than a flat surface but his mind sees the sharp knives and instruments from Hopes Peak. Their perfect reflective surfaces echoing into the present. The way they'd cut and cut until nothing was left.
He doesn't even feel the cold metal pressing against his skin. He just feels the burning searing pain of skin being torn apart. The hot flush of blood trickling down his skin.
He's not sure what happened next. The fog chokes him and his mind fully shuts down. No matter how much he tries to steady his breathing the doctor must be able to hear the rugged choking sounds he's making.
And yet...
“Okay, we can call it a day for now then.” The words puncture the fog in his mind. Yet the hot fuzzy heat surrounding him doesn't dissipate. Clawing it’s way down his throat as if trying to desperately suffocate him just like that.
Was he so absent from his own mind that he didn't realize how much time had passed? Surely the doctor hadn't done all the necessary tests yet. He doesn't have as many memories as most but his most vivid ones are still those from his time at Hope’s Peak. He knows enough about psychology to know those will likely never fade. Not really. The hours he would spend in the pristine white rooms every day running tests. It certainly never felt like the blink of an eye.
Sure enough, when he looks down at his arms he sees the blanched skin still free from marks. No needle points. No blood. No nothing.
“We’ve done all the most important tests and it seems you’re in perfect condition.” The doctor chirps up, as if to confirm Izuru's thoughts. He's already brushing himself down and stepping back, ready to leave.
Just like that.
But before the doctor can change his mind Izuru is rapidly buttoning his shirt up, His hands so numb and hard to control that he fumbles pathetically with each one. The buttons slipping right out of his grip as he grits his teeth. But no matter how many times he stumbles, he refuses to give up.
As soon as it’s buttoned he holds his arms as tightly around his chest as he can. He wants to make himself as small as possible and move away from the doctor, but his body aches too much to even try. Instead he just settles for shielding himself as best he can with his heavy arms.
“Okay.” He chokes out the word pathetically.
“Are -” The doctor freezes for a moment, eyeing him up in an uncomfortable way before continuing, “Are you sure you’re okay? If you need anything you can let us know.”
“I’m fine.” He bristles at the insinuation.
In truth he can feel his stomach beginning to grumble angrily and his throat now feel more coarse than it had felt before Asahina had given him that water. No way is he going to take anything from this doctor though. The last thing he needs is to let them feed him some kind of sleeping pill to keep him placid.
“Okay, then. Although we're leaving today, Naegi and the others will all still be here in case your condition changes. We've got a walker for each of you that I'll bring over in a minute. Practicing with it will hopefully help you start to walk on your own as soon as possible.”
As soon as possible they say. That can’t be soon enough at this point. At least it will give him something to do while he’s stuck here - but the weak reasoning isn’t even effective within his own mind. Even he can’t argue with the failures of the human constitution. At least it shouldn’t take too long if they’re to be believed.
“I understand.” His hands curl into fists in his lap. It clutches at the edges of his shirt fabric.
The doctor lingers for a moment, mouth opening and closing, but he doesn’t say a word. Soon enough he’s gone leaving Izuru alone with his thoughts. And yet, he can somehow still feel the man there. He can still feel his cold fingers pressing against the skin. He wants to pull on his thick and pristine suit jacket but it’s not here. All he has is this useless flimsy t-shirt. It truly is like a prison here…
It's almost a relief when the doctor comes back with the walker. The droning patronisation of him demonstrating the walking exercises is almost enough to occupy his mind for a short time. Even that doesn’t last forever though as the doctor bids him farewell for good this time.
Notes:
Time to address the elephant in the room: This will be remaining compliant to canon - including the anime. The only thing I will be significantly changing is the timing of everything. While I don't think the anime is great, I don't hate it as much as most people. There are issues I had with it and I considered making those changes for my version but it seemed like it would over complicate things so I have decided to remain canon.
Feel free to comment if you have any ideas about scenes or chapters you might want to see from a different perspective as this will all be from Hajime/Izuru's view. I've been toying with the idea of a side one shot style book telling scenes/events of the book from a different view but that is something for a time when I am less burnt out by all this.
Chapter 2: 26th of April
Summary:
Izuru has his first ever nightmare and sets off on a mission to figure out what to do about it.
Chapter Text
Heat billows around him, licking at his face. The flickering forms of orange and yellow flames lapping at the edges of his vision. As he stands in the dark room he can vividly feel the burn of smoke in his nostrils searing him down to his core. The acrid smell of it tainting him as the sound of the crackling drones on in his head.
And yet only fragmented snippets of visions float about in the darkness of his mind. Pink blood oozing. Dripping. Staining a ratty white shirt. Darkness. Dampness. Monokuma laying motionless on the floor. Blood pooling on him too. Echoing music. Blood on icy white skin. Pink soaking a shock of white hair.
But in the haze of scattered images and feelings, he sees something familiar. A galaga pin. The very same one still tucked in his pocket to this day. He can see the girl too. Smiling for some reason. There's no blood staining her and no desperation seeping through her eyes. She looks so full of…life. Not the wreck Junko made of her.
She reaches out a hand to him just like she did before. It doesn't tremble this time though. Steady. Unfaltering.
"Hajime."
The name makes him flinch. Can he never escape that damn name?
"Hajime."
He wants to completely turn from her. He wants to put her frail silhouette far behind him again. But, just like the last time he saw her, he's utterly frozen. He can't do anything except stare at her.
"Hajime." She calls out to him, her voice almost stern. It doesn't match with her soft, youthful face. "Remember what we made together. You have to remember. Please."
She's too far away for him to be certain, but he could swear there are shimmering streaks of tears running down her face.
"What do you mean?" He finds his voice and tries to call back to her.
"Please, Hajime!" She must not hear him as she continues to plead with him ferociously, "Everything that happened didn't mean nothing! As long as you remember and continue and keep on living it had meaning."
"I'm not who you think I am. I don't even know who you are." He puts his foot down and finally forces his body away from her, "Whoever you were to this Hajime person, you are nothing to me."
Resolute, he plants himself there with his back turned to her. In the back of his mind he can see her clawing towards him. Dragging herself closer just like the last time he saw her. The image filling his mind even though she is no longer on the floor this time.
"Hajime. Please." This time her begging voice sounds just like he remembers. The last breaths of a dying child, "You have to remember."
He curls his hand into the tightest fist he can manage. His nails digging into the soft unbroken skin of his palm but no sharp sting of pain comes. No pink blood taints his skin.
He's so focused on himself he doesn't even notice the girl approaching until her hand makes contact with his. Her soft, slender fingers prying his fist loose until she's enveloped the hand entirely. He can feel the small galaga pin pressed between their palms. The dharp edges pressing into the skin hard enough that it is impossible to ignore.
"I know you think Hopes Peak killed you but they didn't. The memories are still there. Deep down. You just need to find them again. Once you remember you can finally start working towards the future we created together."
The future we created together…What the hell is she talking about?
Before he can think better of it, he whips around to face her. Her hand is still gently wrapped around his own. However, as soon makes eye contact with her the air is knocked out his lungs.
The soft brown hair and innocent face of the odd girl has been completely replace. Now he's staring at those familiar blonde pigtails. Junko Enoshima. The Monokuma hair ties mocking him with their twisted toothy smile. Her own vicious grin matching that of her clips as all three face cut through him. Her cackles electrifying the air between them.
Her eyes are as empty as ever. Icy blue chilling him right down to the bone. Hollow husks.
Immediately her fingers curl harshly around his hand, long red nail digging into his skin as they slowly travel along his palm and up his arm. It's like she's bound him into a trance. Chained him down. He can’t do anything as she moves closer and closer to him. He can't even move as her painted lips hover right beside his ear - her cold icy breath stinging his skin everywhere she touches.
He wants to shove her away but he doesn't. He's like a puppet with it's strings cut as his limbs hang there uselessly.
"Izuru…" Her voice coos malevolently.
At once it's like he can feel every breath leaving his lungs. The air slowly escaping him. Each and every heartbeat thunders inside his head once more. Blood pulsating painfully as the pressure builds and builds within the confines of his skull.
"Where did the other girl go?" He manages to squeeze the words out of his tight lungs.
"What other girl? It's just you and me, Izuru."
Somehow she moves even close. It's like she's trying to infiltrate his body. As if she's eventually going to seep right into him. At any moment the boundary between them is going to blur and she will steal his body away from him just like that. Just another catatonic body lying in wait. Suspended in limbo for all time.
"Just you and me." Her hand has finally reached all the way up his arm and stopped, frozen, at his shoulders. Hovering there patiently.
"Together we can ruin this world completely. Who's going to stop us?" Despite her asking, it doesn't feel like a question, "Junko and Izuru, controlling the world. With you at my side no one will ever be able to stop me."
Suddenly her hand begins moving again. They snap from his shoulders to his neck. Resting around the hot pulsing flesh of his neck. Curling around the skin. He can feel every point of her ruby red nails. The sharpness of them digging into his skin ever so slightly, but she doesn't apply any pressure. She just holds them there. A collar keeping him in place.
He wants to pull away. He wants to yank her hands off of him. He wants to break the chain and collar keeping him in place. He want to say something. Anything. Something to refuse her. Deny her completely. But instead, all he does is scream.
And that's how he wakes up.
~~~
26/04 - 03:03
He immediately sits up in bed. His body is screaming and burning in agony yet there isn't even the ghost of a scream hanging on his throat. Just the steady dripping of thick sweat oozing off on him. He can feel it clinging to him like an extra layer of clothing. Suffocating him.
His breath is still catching in his throat and his lungs are still burning. The invasive form of Junko is long gone but even now her fingers ghost over him. Her breath tickling his ear as she inches closer and closer. The 'threat' might be gone but his heart is still thundering relentlessly as if it was right there beside him.
Trying to ignore the dull ache, he twists his body so his legs can hang over the edge of the bed. As soon as they hit the floor a ripple of pain shoots up his leg, settling his nerves alight. Reacting on impulse, his body takes huge gasping breaths right as he stares around at the dark room.
No one is in sight, just the quiet, empty dark welcoming him. The longer he stares into the void, the more his heartbeat slows down. Thundering pittering off slowly until it's more of a stutter than anything else.
Still he clutches his head carefully and mutters the same thing over and over in his mind: It was just a dream. It was just a dream. It was just a dream.
A dream? Despite how much he knows about dreams has he ever had a dream of his own? He can't think of a single one but after this he can't say he enjoyed the experience. Turning around he's greeted once more by the soggy, rumpled bed.
Yeah, not the most pleasant experience…
It's been years since he even thought about that girl. Years since her pathetic form soured his mind. So why is he seeing her now? Not just her - Junko too. He knows enough about dreams to not put much stock in that dream reading stuff but that doesn't mean dreams have no meaning.
He's sure of it now - the Neo World Program did something to him. It messed with his head. Both Junko and the future foundation failed yet something still happened to him. There's only one place he's going to find answers though and it isn't here.
He stares at the soggy, sweat ladden bed and the walker across the room. Regardless of what the doctor said, sleep isn't helping at the moment. Especially not with the bed in this state.
So, still gripping the bed, he wobbles to his feet. His traitorous legs try to buckle again but his arms resist, holding firm. He can do this. He can cross the room dammit. He hasn't fallen that far yet - or at least he doesn't want to believe he has.
Taking each step one at a time, he shuffles further and further from the bed until he's too far for his hand to stay clamped onto the bed frame any longer. Without a structured support to lean on, his legs buckle further still. Sheer willpower alone keeps him standing. He's not going to fall on the floor like a fawn. Not when he's alone in the darkness in this state.
He just barely keeps himself off the floor as he stumbles a few steps across the room and to his walker. The thought of using it makes his stomach churn but he grabs it anyway. Better this than falling. At a time like this he needs to make exceptions.
As much as he wants to immediately head out of the room (and perferrably the building entirely), he doesn't quite yet. The shirt and trousers he had entered the Neo World Program are still sticking to him awkwardly. Sweat has effectively made the shirt translucent, sticking to him in all the most ways. Worse than that, he can feel the warm sticky sheen covering every inch of his body like a parasite. If he wants to go anywhere he needs to get rid of this sweat first.
Cautiously, he takes his first step with the walker. It's smoother than he'd imagined, far from elegant but he can work with it. Shuffling with a little more speed and confidence now, he moves towards the small chest of draws at the side of the room.
There aren't many clothes in it - just a lot of the same white t-shirts and black tracksuit bottoms, as well as underwear. Nevertheless, he grabs a set and begins heading to the bathroom.
It doesn't take him long to strip down and take a seat on the floor of the bathtub, looking up at the overhead shower. It's hard to reach the taps from down here but it's the best option honestly. Showers have never been particularly enjoyable but he does find himself relaxing a little as the soft water droplets splatter down his back, cleansing his tainted skin. Heat searing into his skin and burning away the filth.
His long black hair splays out behind him, sticking to his back as the water rushes through it. The constantly pounding sound of water on his head drowns out the sounds of his dream echoing in his head. He can somewhat understand why people might spend forever in the shower now.
But, not wanting to delay answers longer than he has to, he quickly finishes up once all traces of the sweat have been scrubbed off. It's harder getting up than it was getting down, but leaning on the edge of the tub awkwardly, he eventually drags his dripping form off the ground. After quickly drying himself off with a towel he pulls on the fresh clothes.
They're not the most flattering and after looking at himself in the mirror he's left feeling itchy. He looks… wrong. His black hair has stuck loosely to him, still dripping around his legs. The faint traces of water on his skin makes the thin scar tracing his head stand out more than usual. Stark white almost luminous in the darkness of the room. He has to manually style his hair to cover it up as much as possible.
Without the hair's usual volume, he looks so… small. The clothes hang off him, lacking the tailored fit of his suits. He looks like a child wearing second hand ratty clothes. The sooner he put some real clothes on, the better. Then again he shouldn't get his hopes up. He gets the feeling there aren't going to be any decent clothes in this whole building.
And yet, somehow, his eyes are the thing that sends the coldest shiver down his spine. No matter how long he looks, he can't put his finger on what is wrong. Red eyes still stare back at him - nothing tangible has changes. But still...
Tearing his eyes from the mirror he relents and uses the walker to drag himself out the room. But even as he tries to leave, the image still hangs in his mind. Never quite leaving his thoughts even as he makes his way out of his own room and out into the communal area.
It's as quiet and dark out here as it was in his room. Filled to the brim with a heavy kind of soft silence, like everyone is simply holding their breath. The longer he listens, the quieter his own breaths become until he's not breathing at all. Even then as his ears are as strained as they can be, only silence greets him. Not a peep leaving the rooms of the others.
Somewhere in his mind he wonders if they're struggling to sleep too... Did the machine alter all of them in someway or does this have to do with him specifically…? With what Hopes Peak did to him?
Despite the quiet, he studies the communal room in depth. Sure enough, he can see two small, poorly concealed, cameras are carefully surveying the room. The entire place must be being surveyed like this… Of course… There's nothing much he can do about them now though. Not in his condition - it wouldn't be worth the effort either. They'd simply be put on high alert and fix it the next day without anything being solved.
Rolling his eyes he keeps heaving himself forward. Who knows, maybe they’re not even watching the cameras. He supposes he'll find out soon as he pulls himself to the door and grips the handle. It's a little awkward to open the door with his reliance on the walker but he eventually manages to orient himself properly and slide through into the hallway.
Unlike the previous day, it's pitch black as he steps out this time. Well, not quite. The cloud of black is intermittently interrupted a soft green flashing light across the hall. It's like a beacon beckoning him home.
At once he's taken back to what felt like a day ago, although he knows it was weeks ago at this point. The sharp edge of the device holding Junko's AI was digging into his hand. One by one, nothing more than mere ants, they followed the future foundation members through these same desolate halls. But back then he hadn't felt the alluring draw to it that he does now. It was nothing more than a means to an end - not worth his curiosity.
Scoffing to himself, he follows the beacon into the dim room again. It looks exactly as they'd left it a few hours ago, the only light emanating from the chambers themselves. He could swear the bodies within them are softly illuminated every time the lights pulsate.
However his eyes aren't drawn to them. Instead he's focused on the girl perched in front of the unlit computer screen across the room. Her soft lilac hair shimmers in the practically non-existent lighting so it almost looks like her hair is made of strands of pure silver. A book is in her hands and she's staring down at it but he doubts she can see much in this darkness. Nevertheless, she keeps staring at it as he shuffles into the room.
"Kamakura, right?" She doesn't look up from her book. In fact, she turns the page with a delicate flick of her hand.
"I don't think I heard you introduce yourself earlier." He bristles awkwardly.
Despite his body being weakened, it still tenses and snarls at her mere presence. His hands clench against the metal frame under him until he can't feel it or his hands anymore. Arms shaking as the muscles in his arms twitch uncomfortably.
It's only then that she looks up from her book to face him properly, "Kirigiri Kyoko."
Her eyes peirce him. It's the first time he's actually looked at them. They're as cold as you'd expect but they lack the distance he's used to seeing accompany the biting cold. It's not quite the flickering candle light of the galaga girl but still far from the icy plain of Junko Enoshima. It feels oddly familiar - comforting almost - though he loathes to admit it even to himself.
"Ah yes, the principals daughter. The detective girl if my memory serves me." Which it does of course.
At that her gaze hardens and she finally properly closes the book. It barely makes a sound as she sets it down on the desk in front of her. Her chest visibly rising and falling slowly as she sucks in large breath of air.
"Junko told us what they did to you. Or to Hajime, I suppose. I don't know what role my father or the other future foundation members played in that but I apologise that it happened anyway." He wants to laugh in her face but he stays still and unmoving.
Something simmers deep inside him as her words hit him one by one. Their weak, short sighted ambition made him but they still made him. This Hajime person agreed to the whole procedure. His family or guardians agreed. The school agreed. Everyone wanted this. Is she expecting him to apologise for being created? To apologise to this person he never knew for existing? Everyone agreed because they already knew he was an upgrade.
"You're apologising to a ghost. Apologies can't do much for him anymore."
He casually stumbles over to the nearest chamber and places a hand on it. It's comfortably warm under his skin. The low humming vibrations purring against him almost make it feel alive. Almost.
Kirigiri slowly rises from her chair and prowls over to him. He doesn't hear her footsteps but he can see her from the corner of his eye. He subtly tracks her every step, not quite letting her escape his view even with his head turned away. She stops as she reaches the chamber he's resting on. Her eyes are locked solely on the unconscious form sealed within.
"It's strange. You watch people on a screen for so long and you almost start to feel like you know them." She hums. He's unsure if she's talking to herself or to him - not that it matters either way. But then she raises her head to examine him.
"Ghosts. You just knew ghosts."
"You're right." She nods firmly and goes back to staring at the chamber. "You were all Junko's victims. I suppose everyone is in a way but maybe you guys most of all." For once her cold eyes aren't focused on him. Instead he can see her looking down at the chamber in front of them once more.
For a split moment he wonders who's inside this one. How did this person meet their end? Was there a moment as they died that they remembered their role in the plan and felt peace? Or did they die with fear and hope? Just like with the others who awoke with him, the names of the rest of the class spring to his mind just like that. Their faces blur into view with every name he recalls.
He's snapped out of the thought again a second later as Kirigiri - the name brings a foul taste to his mouth - prowls back to her chair again. He can hear the slow drag of the chair legs on the ground as she takes her seat and crosses her legs. Her book lays still on the table this time though.
"I was the year below them and I actually saw them a few times while I was at school." He can feel her reading him but he elects to ignore her, "We were the floor below them and the ruckus they'd make would always disrupt our classes."
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
Her finger hits the desk rhythmically. Almost hypnotically.
"You know full well I was never a part of their class so what is your point?" He sighs and turns to her. His face a blank and still sheet. Two can play at this game.
"I remember those things now." Her tapping stills finally, "I suspect you were closer to Junko than anyone else, except maybe Mukuro. You were charged with her AI and you helped her start all this when you killed those student council members. You would know exactly what she did to all my classmates and I, yet I remember it all now. We were able to undo everything she did to our minds."
Closer to her than anyone. Just the words alone sound ridiculous. She doesn't even know how much she is showing her hand as she says that. Placing her naivety and lack of knowledge front and center. It's interesting to know that Junko's lies still live on to this day...
Nevertheless he still let's his mind wander for a moment. Wondering if Junko could ever be close to anyone. The boys face drifts into his mind for a moment - his shaggy black hair hidden in the shadows - but he promptly shakes the image away as fast as he can. He certainly never felt close to her in all the time they spent together but he supposes that he was still different to the others here.
"You mean that you were able to recover the memories she took from you. Good for you. You are mistake if you think that means anything to me though. She never did anything to me, it was you people who tampered with my memories." He does his best to keep the cool bite out of his voice.
She falls quiet for a moment. All he can hear is the quiet buzzing of machines humming in harmony all around them. Perhaps his mind is just filling the space but he could almost swear that he heard her thinking from across the room. He can't tell it he likes it or not…
"Is that why you're here?" Kirigiri asks almost tentatively. There's something soft and warm in her voice. If he didn't know better he'd almost think it was some weird form of fondness. Perhaps for the person he used to be, whoever she watched in that computer program.
"Maybe. What did you do to us in there?" He stands up straight, hands leaving the walker and hanging limply at his sides.
Answers are what he needs. Answers about these strange dreams and feelings. Answers about everything. For the first time he can't find those answers with a mere thought.
"We both know how smart you are. You probably know how the program works better than the rest of us. I can't give you any new answers about the program."
He's not surprised to hear that. When they'd arrived the group had told them how it had been made in order to 'convince' them to enter of their own free will. Of the main people who’s work contributed there's only one left alive. He doubts the rest of the group would know a whole lot about any of this.
"I thought you said the program failed. Nothing from what happened over there should have affected us." He has to forcibly keep himself from wringing his own hands in front of her.
He’s used to feeling out of control when it comes to his own body, but this feels different somehow. The more his mind hazes over, the more his body seems to move of its own accord. Acting against him at every turn.
"That's true as far as I'm aware. I don't know what the machine is really capable of." She pauses for a second before her feet hit the ground loud enough to almost make him flinch back, "Are you sure you want to do this? You almost didn't make it out alive last time." She asks tentatively.
So she already knows what hes planning then. He chuffs and takes a step forward, clinging to the metal frame again.
"There's no virus this time and I don’t want to run the program, I just need to investigate it on my own. If we are going to be trapped in here for the rest of our lives then it's not like I will be missing much if I die in this machine anyway. I already entered once expecting death and survived." He sighs deeply and drags himself over to the machine he'd crawled out of just a few hours ago.
One hand brushes over the cool surface as he tries desperately to recall how it felt to be inside the machine again but he's met with a blank slate. He's starting to truly hate Matsuda and his research. What would to boy say if he saw all the damage his work had done? Probably not much honestly…
"The others won't like this." Kirigiri has slunk over to his side. Both her hands are clutched tightly together in front of her.
"They aren't here now though."
She finally releases her hands and glances over to the chamber, "Since we aren't actually turning on the actual program you don't need to go through the whole graduation process again. I should be able to pull you out whenever so I'll be making sure you're out of there before morning. Wouldn't want to others coming in and seeing you here."
She closes her eyes and gently rubs her forehead with her hand. As she turns to approach the computer again he can just about make out her muttering something under her breath, "Damn Makoto…" but she takes her place at the computer before he can hear any more. The soft clicking of keys drowning out any other words.
Staring down at the chamber in front of him, his grip tightens painfully. He should probably get in this now… Something hard rises up his throat at the thought. He hadn't really noticed it last time but is almost like the one he'd first woken from. Sure, it's a little more sci-fi but the concept is the same. He scrunches his eyes closed and tightens his death grip on his own body. This isn't the time for his body to be uncooperative.
She's not going to actually run the program. He tries to reassure his own body awkwardly. You'll still be Izuru. You won't be wiped away and replaced by Hajime all over again. That's what caused this problem in the first place!
Shoving down any other thoughts he begins pulling himself into the machine. His muscles shake weakly at the exertion but he still manages to pull himself in. He can feel the detectives eyes fixed on him the entire time, as if waiting for him to fail the simple task. As such he makes sure to avoid her gaze the entire time.
Eventually she clears her throat and the tapping of the keyboard stops, "I'll be watching you in there the entire time to make sure everything is going okay." The unspoken threat doesn't go unnoticed. It's not just his own safety she's watching for. It's not exactly ideal but he knew there was no way she wouldn't want to monitor him the entire time. Privacy has always been a necessary sacrifice.
"Of course."
The lump has risen in his throat again, utterly betraying him. It only grows larger as he lays down in the machine. All he can see above him is the ceiling covered in wires, and darkness, and the his hair invading the edges of his vision. It's almost a relief as Kirigiri appears above him, ready to pull down the machine lid.
"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Her brows are furrowed in an annoying way. Can she somehow see how this is effect his body? She is the ultimate detective... Is she looking down on him?!
"Of course." The words come out gruffer and more gravelly than he’d been hoping but she doesn't say anything. She just closes the machine lid, firmly sealing him inside.
For a few seconds he's left there. He's just staring up at the lid. Buzzing overwhelms him as the sound drowns out everything else. He can't hear her anymore. He can't hear anything else. How long is she going to be?
The panic starts to set in.
He can feel the lump slowly cutting off his air. Slowly swallowing everything. This was the last view for so many of the others stuck in these machines. What if he never gets out of this again? It's not like the future foundation wants them alive.
No, this is stupid. What's wrong with him? The answers are worth whatever the cost is, after all he's going to be stuck here with these boring people for the rest of his life. He knows what he's here for and what it’s worth. He knows.
Then the thankless dark washes over him...
~~~
Izuru's eyes flicker open and light immediately burns his eyes. Without thinking twice he immediately scrunches them closed again. What the - ?
Somewhere the shining light beyond he can hear waves crashing and birds chirping. He can smell the salt in the air and feel warm sand under his feet. The beach?
Pain sears through his mind for a moment. Both hands reach up to his head, knotting into his long black hair and pulling. The sharp physical pain grounds him for a moment. Then the memories come flooding back.
The Neo World Program is a beach?
His eyes blink open anxiously but the bright light has died down ever so slightly. It still burns his eyes but he can just about keep them open. As his eyes slowly adjust he can start to make out the world in front of him. The stretching, reaching palm trees littering the shore line. The thundering white crested waves lapping the shores. It looks so…real. Even knowing it is nothing more than a simulation, it’s hard to convince his mind of it.
“Hello?” He looks around slowly, waiting for something, anything, to move, “Is anyone here?” But nothing but silence greets him. He’d thought there would at least be some NPC’s around or some programs but nothing appears or makes noise. Was this all a waste of time?
The hot sun is beating down on his thick black hair. He can feel the skin slowly starting to roast under the midday sun. Couldn’t they have at least made the sun and environment comfortable? It’s an uncomfortable level of realism really.
Taking in the lay of the land, he begins to wander. There’s no indication of where anything important might be so he simply walks around the entire island, taking in the new places and environment. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for but hopefully he will know when he sees it.
Despite it being quieter and more still than the facility he had just come from, it somehow feels more alive than anywhere he’s been before. The cool light breeze blowing through his hair. The soft sunlight in the light blue sky - not a single hint of the usual crimson colour that stains it. The gentle sounds of insects and leaves in constant movement all around him. A snippet of a time long past. Seeing it now, he doesn't think he likes it all that much.
Eventually he’s finished scouring the entire island and there’s nothing. Absolutely nothing of use. Sighing to himself - hopefully loud enough for Kirigiri to hear - he continues over one of the bridges onto the smaller island beyond. It's only once he crosses that bridge that he realises where he is. The memory of slowly drifting across the ocean towards Jabberwock Island is still fresh in his mind. Of course they would just model this place on their base… What else did he expect?
It doesn't take long for that thought to be overridden by a different one. He barely makes it a few steps onto this new island before an almost spectral form appears on the side of the path. A familiar person's form is kneeling down next to the path, folded in on itself as it doodles on the sand with a stick. The puffy skirt he remembers last seeing on it brushing through the sand as it sits there awkwardly.
Alter Ego. So it survived Junko a second time? Or did they simply manage to recover a version of Alter Ego from before the killing game began?
"What are you doing?" He asks cooly.
His feet have stopped moving, stranding him a few feet away from the green flickering form of the AI program. It somehow looks even smaller and more frail than when on a 2D screen.
"I'm drawing. Do you like it?" It gets up and brushes its skirt down. As it shuffles out of the way Izuru is left face to face with a small sketch of the same Galaga pin that has haunted his dream.
Does Alter Ego somehow know about his dreams? Did it plant something in him while he was still plugged into it as Hajime? Why else would it draw the damn thing? Where else would it have seen the girl and her pin?
Doing his best not to look at the drawing in the sand he turns to the AI and approaches slowly, "Are you overseeing this place?"
Alter Ego looks up at him with large shimmering eyes. "Yeah… Kinda…" It plays with the edges of its skirt, pulling at the digital fabric with flickering hands, "There used to be others but it's just me now."
He shuffles his weight from side to side. Now he's face to face with the AI he has no idea what he wants to ask. What can he ask with Kirigiri watching on the other side? Dissecting his every word and mannerism.
"Why are you here? You were all supposed to be free and safe…" Alter Ego looks around and closes its eyes for a moment. "It's just you? Is something wrong? I don't really get any information from the outside these days, I only know what happens in here now." Alter Ego mumbles softly. It looks down at the ground as it kicks at the sandy path. The small dust particles splatter over its shoes, dusting the pristine flickering form.
"Nothing is wrong. I just needed to ask some questions about the program you ran on us." He draws himself up as tall as he can until he towers over the small form of the AI.
"Oh. Okay." A bright shimmering smile breaks over their small face. "What did you want to ask?"
"The others said that the program ended without fully completing. They said that anything that happened in the program wasn't uploaded into our minds. It's not quite true though, is it?" He keeps his voice stern and cold. There's no way he's going to let Alter Ego avoid answering, even if they are on its terf.
Alter Ego's form suddenly goes still. Its spectral face becoming stern almost at once as it watches Izuru. Studying him although Izuru has no idea what its seeing. He can hear the AI humming softly to itself as the seconds tick by. Dragging this out until Izuru no longer knows what he’s supposed to be doing with himself anymore…
"No. It's not quite true." Alter Ego sighs from deep within itself.
For the first time in his life, he can hear deep exhaustion ringing out from an AI. He spent months alongside the Junko AI after making her but she never seemed tired. Despite how well he recreated her, she always seemed just two or three steps away from robotic. Never quite human. Never quite living fully. Just a little too close to the uncanny valley. Maybe that was just a part of Junko herself.
"Then what did happen? What did you do to our minds?" He draws a little closer but the AI stays rooted to the spot. It just looks up at Izuru - no defiance or fire lighting up its eyes. If anything, it looks soft and empathetic. It takes all he has to not roll his eyes at the sight.
"The program did end without being complete. Everything was shut down properly without sending the avatars back to your bodies but with the help of the two observers we were able to save some things before the program got shut down."
"Save some things?" His brow furrows as he considers the prospect.
After all the work the Future Foundation put in to make this program, is it allowed to simply act on its own like this? To take matters into it's own hands? Perhaps that’s what made it so easy for Junko's AI to get a foothold in the system.
"Y-Yeah…"
"Like what? What did you save on the system?"
"Whatever we could. Anything that was still untouched by Junko's AI." Alter Ego taps its chin thoughtfully as it speaks, "I can show you if you want." The AI suddenly perks up at the thought. It almost looks like there is a sparkle in its eyes as it stands up a little straighter. Uncertainty melting right off of it.
He barely gets a nod out before the world around him vanishes. Just like that - it's gone. The smell of salt in the air is nothing more than a faint memory in the back of his mind. Instead of the bright tropical sunlight, there's just stark white walls all around him. The only colour in sight is the vivid, still flickering, form of Alter Ego.
"Here's all the data we saved." Alter Ego meekly gestures to the empty room around it.
Is this some kind of joke? Nothing but the shiny white surfaces of the room looks back at him. Is something wrong with Alter Ego's programming? But then he stops. Is it really empty? Nothing is physically there and yet -
He reaches forward slowly and he could swear his hand touches something intangible. Like the empty space is rippling in front of him. Focusing are hard as he can he starts to notice huge strings of code flitting across his field of vision. The more he tries to look at it the more his head begins to ache. Burning the inside of his skull as the pressure begins to build more and more. The world seems to sway around him and his first instinct is to reach out for some kind of support but there is nothing around to lean against.
"What is this place?" He can't take his eyes off the strange code as it continues to flicker. Drifting in and out of his perception without a second thought.
"My main database. Or what's left of it. The virus didn't leave much of the programming functional in it's wake." Alter Ego cautiously looks around. Emptiness still lingers in the eyes of the small AI. Something almost akin to grief. In a way he supposes losing part of the program is like losing part of itself.
"You saved all this right before the system shut down?" He stares at the huge room before him. The lines and lines of code just sitting there.
He wonders which pieces hold the last remains of Hajime Hinata. A person reduced to vague visible numbers in an empty room and a body which is no longer his. For a moment he cant help but pity the boy. Just for a moment though.
"Some of it. The teacher observer spent much of her time trying to protect as much of the avatars as possible before they were executed or killed. Anything that was saved of their code was kept safe in here." Not just Hajime's life. It's all the despairs lives condensed into this one indistinguishable mass.
"You were able to save the others?"
"I don't know how successful it was but we did what we could with the virus in the system."
"Could some of that data you saved have crossed over into our bodies when the system shut down?"
"Based on what I know, it shouldn't have. Nothing should have been uploaded during a system shutdown. I suppose nothing is ever perfect though. Perhaps some things managed to slip through."
Sighing, Izuru stares out at the room before him. It still ripples and shifts around him. No matter how much he tries to focus, he can never quite fully grasp it. Not completely.
Tentatively, he takes a step deeper. The code seems to part around him, vanishing into nothing. As he moves through it he realises that although it's still intangible and ineligible, he starts to notice some kind of organising system. Huge portions of code all split into mildly smaller chunks.
"Is this…?" He mutters more to himself than to the AI beside him. Not that Alter Ego seems to have noticed.
"Yep. You should be able to tell which is which. It's important to keep them separate - wouldn't want them to get mixed up." Alter Ego giggles innocently.
You should be able to tell? He reaches forward towards the code and feels something not…tangible…but something vaguely existent hovering there. He can't tell if he's touching something or not. He tries to focus on brushing the floating code and it almost needs to hum and glow under his hand. The name 'Teruteru' suddenly pops up above the rest of the code. It seems to hum with some distant kinda glow. Hm…he doesn't really need to wonder which one was Hajime's code then.
His own curiosity gets the better of him as he starts wandering down the room, looking at the name appearing above each one. Byakuya, Teruteru, Mahiru, Peko, Hiyoko, Ibuki, Mikan, Nekomaru, Gundham, Nagito, Sonia, Kazuichi, Hajime, Akane, Fuyuhiko. Everyone. They really did save data from all of them then. His hand hovers over the data underneath the name Hajime again. Everywhere the code touches his hand seems to be enveloped in an odd tingly warmth. What a strange simulation this is?
"Does that help answer what you came in for?" Alter Ego mutters. Its legs are crossed as it pulls gingerly at its skirt. Those big eyes stare up at Izuru once more. It feels…oddly familiar…and yet he could swear he never interacted with either Alter Ego or its creator. He never had any reason to.
"Maybe." But Alter Ego's eyes suddenly seem to shimmer with electronic tears. Why was it even programmed with that feature of all things? "Thank you." He adds before he's even realised what he said, his body reacting on instinct at seeing the sight. At least it clears the dejected look off the AI's face.
Alter Ego claps its hands together and grins, "I'm glad I could help with something. I feel like I let you down before…"
He has to hold back a sigh, "You let me down…?" He's never even seen the AI before so he must be talking about Hajime in the simulation. Everything keeps coming back to Hajime.
His hand brushes against the code titled Hajime only to be greeted by the soft warmth again. It’s almost…reassuring. Like a heavy blanket surrounding him. Hajime’s memories. His memories.
"Y-Yeah… I was supposed to protect you all while you were in the Neo World Program and I failed…" A soft sniffling snaps him out from his own mind. Alter Ego somehow seems to have shrunk down on itself. As if it wasn't small enough already.
He drops his hand down to his side again before clearing his throat and addressing the AI, "Why are you upset?"
"Because I let you down." Another grating sniffle. He can see it fiddling with its own hands in its lap. Izuru wouldn’t be surprised if the skin of his hands was rubbed raw - well, if it had real hands and skin anyway. He supposes that’s one reason to be glad it is nothing more than code in a fake world.
"I don't understand… We chose to enter the Neo World Program knowing the virus was going to be uploaded. I don't see how that's your fault." He crosses his arms tightly. It's not like they expected much from the Neo World Program or Alter Ego. If they did, they probably wouldn't have entered.
"Th-Thank you."
Why is it thanking him? What's wrong with it? It does know Izuru was the one who uploaded the virus…right? In a way it's almost like he's talking to the creator of the AI himself.
"Y-You probably shouldn't stay here too much longer. After all, the program might still not be safe…" Alter Ego stops still for a moment, its entire body going rigid. Its hands fall apart from one another and just hang limply at its side, "Unless you have something you wanted to look at…"
"I…" He hasn’t even started to figure out how to stop whatever is happening to him. Even if their data was backed up does that really explain whatever was going on? And if that is whats caused it, can he even do anything to reverse it? At this point perhaps the damage has already been done.
He sighs deeply, "I'll leave for now..." Although he doesn't sound convinced as he says it, he already knows that he won’t solve anything by just staying here for hours and hours. It may be better to think things over again in reality…at least that's what he tells himself.
"O-Okay. You can come back whenever you want if you have any more questions." This time it almost sounds excited as it speaks. He’s starting to wonder if it only has those two expressions and emotions. The whiplash hits hard every time they interact.
"I will do."
The words have barely left his mouth before the surreal white room has completely dissolved around him. Once again the soft beach environment envelopes him. That pressure that had been settling over his, ensnaring his mind, is suddenly lifted. For a moment the world swims in front of him at the sudden relief before everything settles once more. Yet despite his best efforts he can only just keep himself from wobbling where he stands.
Although the sand is warm - no, hot - to the touch, it feels almost cold when thinking about the strange code from before. For just a moment it's like everything around him has shifted. His mind not quite catching up to his body as the sensations overwhelm him. His body taking a few second to process even the mere warmth around him.
"Are you okay Kamukura?" Alter Ego reaches a hand forward, as if to try and steady him. However he instinctively pulls away before the hand can ever make contact with him.
"I'm fine. You don't need to worry." He busies his hands by getting them to brush himself down.
Before Alter Ego can try to touch him again he casually moves out of the way, putting distance between them both. His jaw twitching as he looks the AI up and down, silently taking a few breaths to steady himself once more. There is only so far he is willing to fall in one day.
"Okay."
Alter Ego still lingers beside him, jumpy eyes constantly drifting over to him as if magnetised. Surely it knows it's not being subtle but it doesn’t seem to even try to hide the way it is staring at him.
Ugh…his spine tingles…
"So how am I supposed to leave this place?" He stares up at the sky above him as if expecting to see Kirigiri's face waiting somewhere above him. But, of course, nothing but blue sky greets him. A complete blank slate. Maybe he should have asked Kirigiri more questions before he entered here.
"Um, well normally you have to complete the graduation program to leave but since the actual program hasn't begun they should be able to let you out from the control panel outside. I think…" Alter Ego taps its chin softly.
"Well then… Kirigiri." He tries calling out to the sky again. Does it even matter where he looks? Kirigiri must have had her eyes on him the entire time. She could pick up the pace a bit.
"Kirigiri…" Alter Ego smiles softly, the light giving its face a soft gentle glow, "Tell her I said hello. It's been so long since we last spoke…"
He doesn't even have to think before he responds, "I will."
Slowly darkness overtakes his vision. The world fades away once again until everything is stripped away. The warmth around him is gone in seconds, replaced by an unwelcome coolness. Waves become the hum of machines and the bright sun is replaced with the green glow of the Neo World chambers.
"Kamukura? Are you okay?" Kirigiri is looking down at him. The green light bathes her face making her look oddly ethereal. Shadows streak across her face awkwardly, highlighting her sharp features. Just what he wants to see as he wakes up…
"I'm fine." He tightly scrunches up his eyes and tries to flatten himself further against the bottom of the chamber. He's not very successful but it feels better for a moment. The pounding inside his head settles ever so slightly. Just the smallest release of pressure makes him sigh softly.
"You don’t feel any different to before?"
His eyes snap open again as he stares up into her hardened face, "I don't think so."
He’s not certain he would even be able to tell if anything had changed but he at least feels like himself. He is still Izuru for all intents and purpose. For now he supposes that’s enough.
"Good…" She clears her throat and steps ever so slightly back from the edge of the chamber, "Can you get up?"
His hands curl around the edges of the chamber. For a second, he can feel the muscles in his arms trembling weakly but it passes quickly and he can pull himself up and out of the machine. Without another word, Kirigiri stays back, watching him with narrow eyes. However as he moves she only gets further and further away. His legs are still as weak as ever but thankfully not any worse than before. As soon as he's firmly resting against the walker he can feel the sensation returning to his legs once again. More of a sharp bite like pins and needles than the apathetic numbness it was when he first woke up a few hours ago.
"Did you get the answers you wanted?"
He pauses for a moment. Did he? Did he really learn anything from that data room at all? While he learnt some things, he still doesn't know how it relates to himself and his strange dream.
"Some." He resigns himself. There will be time for answers another day he supposes. He just needs to be patient…
Kirigiri doesn't say anything. She simply sighs. He can feel her quietly lingering, eyes sharpened as harshly as ever. Waiting. Just standing beside him like she's expecting something of him. He doesn’t say anything to her though, he doesn’t have anything to say to her. Nothing except,
“Alter Ego asked me to let you know it says hello.”
She must have already heard the entire exchange herself but the words spill out as if they have a mind of their own. He doesn’t bother waiting to hear a response - it’s not as if the conversation included him in the first place - he simply grips onto his walker and begins the tedious procedure of dragging himself away.
As he drags himself across the room she slowly begins to find her way back to her seat and grabs her book in her firm grip. It just sits there in her hand though. She doesn’t even pretend to be reading it. However at least her eyes don’t follow him as he drags himself out of the room and towards their assigned quarters. Bit by bit he puts distance between them until the sounds of her breathing and movement are completely swallowed into the silence.
Without thinking about anything else he heads straight to the bed. As soon as his head hits the pillow he can feel himself being dragged back into the darkness. No dreams come to greet him this time though.
~~~
26/04 - 09:43
He's not sure how long it is until he next wakes up. There are no windows in sight, just the now familiar darkness of this room. For a few minutes he simply lies there, allowing everything to wash over him. The soft covers are still draped across him gently as he stares up at the ceiling. Pristine and effectively unmoved from where they started.
No matter how hard he tries, he can't get the memory of the dream out of his mind. Is this what dreams are like for everyone else? Despite everything he knows about dreams, he's never actually had one he remembers before. He'd be happy to never have another one again if this is what they're like.
As he lays there in the darkness, he can hear movement and sound beyond this room. Day must have broken since he last went to sleep. It seems the peace has broken with it… Occasionally he can hear the clattering of pans or cutlery off in the distance that are loud enough to make him wonder if they're trying to wake him up.
But as much as he'd like to stay in here and ignore them for as long as possible, he can feel his stomach growling quietly from under the covers. The smells of the kitchen are slowly invading his room - only worsening the situation. Since when was his mouth this dry?
Sighing, he pulls away the sheets and drags himself out of bed. It takes a while to get dressed with his shaking muscles but eventually he manages to pull on some clean clothes. Hopefully there is a laundry room in this place because he is going through clothes at a lightening pace.
His hands keep unconsciously pulling at the fabric of the coarse t-shirt and baggy trousers. What happened to the suit he wore here? It's true he didn't bring much to this place but he did bring the clothes on his back. Even those are gone now though he supposes.
Still restlessly shuffling in his clothes, he ties his hair up in a loose bun and begins heading out of the room. As soon as the door is open, the sound of clattering and chatter increases ten fold. Straining his ears uncomfortably. If he could covers his ears with his hands he would, but they're maintaining their iron grip on his walker.
Every little movement seems to burn more than it did the day before. This better sort itself out soon because he doesn't know how much longer he can stand to walk around with the damn thing. For now he just needs to grit his teeth and deals with it…
"Izuru." He freezes as he hears the familiar voice call out to him. Kazuichi.
Somehow the boy looks younger than Kamukura has ever seen him. Dark bags decorate the underside of his eyes and his usually knotted pink hair has been drawn up into a ratty ponytail so you can properly see his face for a change. His head is resting on one hand as the other is gripping his spoon and playing with the curry in front of him. Even though everyone is wearing the same cheap clothes as Izuru, just being sat beside Sonia and Fuyuhiko makes Kazuichi look ten years younger and equally more feral.
As Izuru approaches he grins, almost welcomingly, "I was wondering if you were ever going to wake up." He just huffs in response as he starts seeking out any available food.
Following his nose he walks past the table where Fuyuhiko, Sonia and Kazuichi are all sitting. A few pans are still resting on the cooker which he immediately begins raiding with as much poise as he can muster given the situation.
"We weren't sure if you would be coming but we made extra food just in case." Sonia doesn't look his way, still quickly making her way through her own plate.
He doesn't have the mental space to be grateful right now. He grabs a plate from a nearby cupboard and quickly piles on food before joining them at the table. It's an off-putting shade of brown and a thin skin has formed over the curry sauce but it's not the worst looking or smelling food he's ever had. As long as it provides some form of sustenance it will do.
He does his best to seek out a seat furthest from anyone else but given the already wide spacing between everyone it's not as far as he'd like. A few seats away from him Fuyuhiko lowers his head and grits his teeth silently. He doesn't say a single word. In fact, he doesn't seem to be doing a whole lot of anything. Looking at the plates sat on the table, Sonia might be the only one actually eating the food right now.
Ignoring the other three he starts to force the food down. Anything to settle the growl. It could be worse, he doesn't even taste it as it slides down his throat.
"What do you think?" Kazuichi mumbles quietly from the other end of the table. Izuru can see his eyes fluttering closed with a moment before his mouth opens into a silent yawn.
He quickly finishes his mouthful of curry before speaking, "What do I think of what?"
"This place. This situation. The failure of the whole plan. We didn't exactly get to talk about any of this yesterday." Sonia half snorts, her fork clinking loudly against the china plate.
Unsure of what to say, he just shrugs.
Another mouthful of food.
"We can't just stay here for the rest of our lives…" Kazuichi grumbles loudly.
He's moved on from playing with his food to twisting the ends of his ponytail around in his hand. Eyes completely fixated on Izuru as if expecting Izuru to dance for him.
At least they're on the same page about something. Where are they going to go now though? What's the point of any of this now Junko has failed twice? Is there any point in saying that to the remnants of despair though? At this point he doubts logic is something they can even comprehend.
"What? Are you just going to fucking walk out? What the fuck are you going to do about all the future foundation members inevitably waiting for you?" Fuyuhiko growls but his head seems to dip even lower. It's almost as if he's trying to sink into himself. Trying to retreat back even further despite there being nowhere to go.
"Better than just sitting in here and waiting to die…" Kazuichi finally tears his gaze from Izuru to focus on Fuyuhiko. "You got any plans?"
With that Fuyuhiko finally looks up at the rest of them. His once perfectly styled hair, now grown out a little longer from their time in the program, hangs over the tightly wrapped bandage that now covers his blue eye. Sealing it away from the rest of them.
"They are probably listening to us talk…" Izuru sighs before eating another mouthful of food.
"Perhaps we should speak about this some other time." Sonia quietly sets down her cutlery before sighing deeply.
And when will that be? It's not like they're ever going to be left unsupervised in this place. He doesn't bother saying anything though. It wouldn't be anything more than a waste of his oxygen.
As if trying to prove his point, Fuyuhiko immediately shoots up. The high pitched screeching of his chair legs on the polished floor makes Izuru's already feeble bones vibrate uncomfortably. At the same time Fuyuhiko's small hands slam onto the table top until he's bending over the table to glare at them all.
"The plan failed. It's all over. I don't know what part of this you bastards don't fucking understand! We knew this plan was the end of the Ultimate Despairs, whether we won or lost. You just need to fucking accept it."
He gives the table one final parting kick before he practically falls onto his own walker. His entire body trembling but he refuses to let that stop him as he heads off down the corridor to his room. His food still lays practically untouched on the table.
"You think these guys are going to be able to keep the future foundation away forever?! Eventually they're going to find us and kill us." Kazuichi shouts after him but the only response he gets is the slamming of a door in the distance.
He has to scrunch his eyes closed against the loud throbbing of his own head. Dealing with the hunger in his room on his own might have been the better choice…
His mind begins imagining any possible future they have in this place. He's spent time with most of them before - at Junko's behest - but he only ever stayed with Kazuichi long enough to settle into any kind of rhythm. If this is how mealtimes are going to be he can why that was the case. He almost misses the isolated cell they gave him in Hope's Peak. At least there he could eat in peace.
"Hmm… He could have at least finished his food." Sonia scowls and sits up even straighter.
Completely ignoring Sonia to his left, Kazuichi turns to growl at Izuru, "You agree with me right?! Junko would want us to keep up her work! She would never just give up and let hope win!" His voice hitches halfway through, eyes shining even from across the table.
Youthful bright energy still oozes out of him - even after Junko. His eyes are still full, lacking the hollowed appearance of his peers. In the back of his mind he wonders if this is some kind of twisted hope in itself. If this desire and push to leave is nothing more than thinly veiled hope.
"Kazuichi -" Sonia mumbles quietly but Izuru is already moving. He does what he should have done from the very start and picks up his plate before leaving the room.
This time the other two don't say a thing as he walks away. Soon the door has closed behind him, sealing him away from the rest of them as best he can. And yet as the door seals he just stands there, breathing in deeply. After a few seconds he starts to hear the chattering resume beyond his walls but thankfully it's too quiet to make out.
No one bothers him again as he quietly finishes his food in his room. Eventually even the chattering stops as Kazuichi and Sonia also go their separate ways and he's left alone in the quiet. Just as things have always been.
The dirty plate is still sat untouched on the side. Even after the others have seemingly left the communal area he stays tucked away in his room. With nothing else to do he busies himself with the exercises the doctor gave him yesterday. And everything is peaceful and still.
Chapter 3: 27th of April
Summary:
The survivors of class 77 are forced to confront the idea of if they want their memories of the program back or not
Chapter Text
27/04 - 07:01
Knock. Knock. Knock.
The thumping at his door brings him out of the darkness. For a few seconds he has to lay there, blinking in the darkness, before he remembers what's going on.
He must have fallen asleep but there were no dreams to haunt him this time. Although he tells himself there is a chance it was just an odd one time thing, he still doesn't allow himself to believe it. For now he should just be glad he was spared last night.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Oh yeah… He'd almost forgotten.
He shakes his head gently to try and chase off the dull edges of sleep. It does next to nothing but he still drags himself out of the bed. As soon as his feet hit the ground, pain sparks up his body but he pushes through it until his hands are clenched around the walker once again. He'll have to resign himself to more of those exercises today…
Knock. Knock. Knock.
He clenches his jaw painfully. Is it Kazuichi? He can't imagine the others being so pushy to interrupt him like this.
Taking a deep breath in he pulls open the door, already prepared to slam it in Kazuichi face. However when he finally gets a view out of the room it's not the pink haired boy he sees waiting for him on the other side. Instead the familiar pony tailed form of the younger Kirigiri is waiting for him. She's dressed formally with a tight skirt, perfectly ironed blazer, and smart heels all perfectly lined up with not so much as a wrinkle out of place. Somehow she's managed to look even stiffer and sterner than the last time he saw her.
"Is this-?" He starts but she cuts him off before he can even finish his sentence. He can see her gaze moving ever so slightly up to the camera in his room.
"We're holding a meeting in the communal area. You might want to get dressed before you join us." She gives him a once over, her eyes dragging on his disheveled attire.
She was the one who woke him up! He chuffs grouchily but closes the door on her at once. Letting it slam in her face without a second thought.
And yet, instead of moving away, he remains right by the door. Holding his breath as he listens to the sound of her slowly moving away. Footsteps gently clicking on the hallway floor as she moves along, likely to the room of the next person over.
He waits for a moment before fighting with himself to put on the same dull, uncomfortable clothing that fills his draws. If they want him to come then they can wait for him to come. He even takes the time to brush through his hair before carefully pulling it out of the way in a loose bun. Making every movement drawn out and leisurely.
By the time he leaves his room, everyone is already gathered quietly on the couch. As usual, Sonia and Fuyuhiko are dressed as smartly as is possible given what they have to work with. Their hair looks fresh and perfectly brushed. On the other hand, Akane and Kazuichi look like they literally just rolled out of bed. Hair knotted and all over the place. Clothes awkwardly rumpled and creased in all the wrong places.
With the exception of the blonde boy, none of the future foundation members seem to have been perturbed by it. They're all just sat patiently, small cups of tea on the coffee table in front of them as they watch Izuru enter.
"You finally decided to join us…" The blonde boy mutters before taking a sip of his tea. Izuru doesn't miss the look thrown his way but he just elects to ignore it.
"Byakuya, please." Naegi holds a hand out to quiet his colleague but of course the boy, Byakuya, just casually bats the hand away. His nose scrunching up but he doesn’t so much as glance in Naegi’s direction as he does so.
"Fine." He grumbles before taking another sip of his tea. With his haughty expression and crossed legs, he looks up at the rest of them. Nose still wrinkled up in disgust.
“I'm sorry, I know we weren’t particularly present yesterday or even the day before but things have been…difficult.” The whole group shares a look as Naegi speaks but none of them make any moves to interrupt him.
Looking at these guys sat here before them, it’s hard to feel much confidence at all. These people are supposed to be the ones protecting them and yet they look so small and young as they are swallowed up by the couch cushions. Hardly the most reliable or strong figures Izuru has ever seen. Kirigiri said they recovered their memories after their ‘killing game’ but he can't help but wonder if those lost years and memories still affect them to this day.
"The future foundation have been closing in. They found out about the situation with Junko and are determined to deal with it in their own way." Kirigiri clears her throat, cold and hard as ever as she takes over from Naegi without missing a beat. The severity of her gaze settles the room, focusing them all just like that.
Beside him he can feel Sonia tense. The slight shift in the couch is barely noticeable as she realigns herself. For a split second, some strange part of him feels obligated to reach out and settle her but it passes as quickly as it came.
He’s not the only one who can sense the shift in the air. At once Asahina breaks into a wide, wobbly, smile. The bright sparkle of her grin making him seethe. The heat bubbling up inside him once more, ready to break free.
"Don't worry! We’re not going to let them do anything to you! We made you a promise and we're gonna keep it!" He doesn't think he's ever heard anything he believes less. There's only so much optimism and bright words can accomplish.
"Pft. Sure." Fuyuhiko rolls his eye and rests his head on his hands, "You can't really expect to keep them away for the rest of our lives. No matter how good the five of you fucking are, you can't stop a whole organisation indefinitely!"
It's not like the future foundation has done much to foster faith in them - they failed at stopping Junko, failed at saving the 78th class, and were unable to do anything about the ultimate despairs until they literally handed themselves over. But even so, it's still impressive enough that they haven't managed to kill the whole lot of them yet. Despite the incompetence, you would think the sheer numbers would eventually win out, sooner rather than later now. He doesn't want these people to be their only line of defense when that time comes.
"N-No, but we can stall them. We just need to convince them you're worth saving. If we can show them you're no threat to hope then maybe -" Naegi stutters ever so slightly, his expression beginning to weaken bit by bit.
Izuru can't help but snort at the outlandish, optimistic claims. He sounds just like he did in the killing game. The restoration of his memories changed nothing then. It would almost be impressive if it wasn't so illogical.
"But what if we are a threat to hope." This time Sonia cuts Naegi off as she remains frozen with her perfect pristine posture. He can see the tension building in her jaw as she grits her teeth furiously. Like the words are fighting her own body to burst forth as a harsh hiss.
"You're not." Kirigiri's voice is steady. Pure unflinching certainty has settled across her voice. Just the one word is almost enough to convince him.
"But -"
Any objections Sonia has are promptly cut off once again by Kirigiri, "I will admit that I can't always read people perfectly but I'm confident in my readings of you all. You might not see it in yourself yet but we can see it."
Logic stands in direct opposition to everything she's saying. At Junko's behest he's seen everything the Ultimate Despairs have accomplished. In search of something other than the boring confines of this world he's seen first hand what has been wrought by not only the sleeping people across the hall but by the very people beside him. There is no way these Future Foundation members don't know what they've done. Yet a few weeks spent in the past suddenly has everyone around them reeling with hope and pure distilled belief. And he thought Kirigiri was supposed to be the more logical one. She may not be her father's daughter after all.
"Even if you prove us wrong, you still deserve the chance. With Junko gone you can all start over - as long as you actually want to." Normally he'd doubt anyone could actually believe such a thing but it's different with Naegi. Izuru can't help but wonder if he truly can be deceitful. Is he even capable of that? They called him the ultimate hope but even that alone makes him want to snort.
Junko is gone… He repeats the words over and over in his head. Even though he’s been reminding himself of that ever since he woke up, it still feels unsettling each and every time. She's been present in his life for so long that the thought of her being destroyed forever seems foreign. No more AI's or safety nets this time. Gone. Something tight and heavy lifts inside his chest at the word.
Junko is gone.
He smiles.
No one else is smiling though. Their stony grey face are immovable and unflinching on all sides. He's surrounded.
"So what, you're just gonna tell the others that and they're suddenly going to forgive us and let us live? You know what we've done right?" Panic hits the edges of Kazuichi's voice. Without warning he slams one clenched fist down on the coffee table. Tea splatters over the edges of the cups as puddles on the wood below.
Izuru finds himself staring at the small puddles of liquid. It's like he's been entranced as he watches the light shimmering on the surface. No one makes a move to mop it up though. If he couldn’t hear and see their breathing he'd almost wonder if they were even still alive.
"Leave the convincing to us. It might as well be what we do at this point…" Byakuya's scowl only grows with every word.
Like some spell has been broken he finally looks down at the splashed tea. He doesn't think he's ever seen someone look more tired and he supervised Kazuichi throughout the first killing game.
At least Asahina jumps into action, grabbing a nearby paper towel and dabbing at the liquid. As if her moving shakes the others heads clear, Hiro and Naegi finally drop to their knees to help her out. Yet even then Kirigiri and Byakuya never take their eyes off the despairs. Well trained watch dogs, huh?
Eventually everything has been soaked up leaving them with nothing more than a soggy pile of now brown tissues. He can see them slowly congealing as they lay there untouched on the table. He has to refrain from storming over the bin himself and chucking it all out.
"If anyone can do it, it's Makoto!" The boy with the gravity defying hair slaps Naegi, on the back with a tea stained hand - he can see droplets of the tea spray off on impact. Naegi’s eyes blow wide as he rubs his back gingerly but smiles anyway. He doesn't even attempt to move away from his strange colleague.
As if to offset the violence, Asahina wraps an arm around Naegi to pull him into a gentle half hug. "You got that right!"
He can't help but think of Junko in that moment. The ultimate despair and the ultimate hope. Seeing him on the TV and for the brief time before the program, he'd never quite seen the connection between him and Junko but he thinks he gets it now. In a way they are his Ultimate Hope's. His followers. His believers. He may not be charismatic or particularly genius but he has some kind of pull. Something intangible that lingers around him.
"I getcha. You're trynna get us to just roll over and follow whateva you say, right. To put our lives in your hands." Akane leans back on the couch until she's sunken as far as she can into the material. All the tension melting away, "You don't have the best record, y'know."
At once Byakuya leans forward. His tea is abandoned on the table as he closes the distance slightly between him and Akane. He isn’t even trying to hide the tension in his jaw as he grits his teeth.
"You put your lives in Junko's hands. We're plenty more qualified than her." He spits out words like ice.
Izuru wants to disagree. He wants to shut Byakuya up with a scathing remark but there isn't anything to say. They have proven twice now to be more capable than Junko.
"Byakuya…" Kirigiri only says the one word but it takes immediate effect.
As if nothing had ever happened, Byakuya leans back in his chair. It does nothing to hide the seething disapproval but at least he backs away. Despite his recline, he doesn't once break eye contact with them all - someone needs to teach him how to play poker one of these days. Izuru can't imagine him ever being successful in business meetings with that attitude but that's not a concern anymore at least.
As if to prove his point, Fuyuhiko immediately stands up, "No, keep talking you bastard!"
Fuyuhiko's face is tinged red, lighting up his delicate features. Years of The Tragedy have sharpened his round features but even now, with his smattering of scars, he looks small, delicate and youthful. Especially when sat beside the withered Akane and exhausted Kazuichi.
Izuru looks to the side in time to see Sonia's hand snake over to silently take Fuyuhiko's. Although he discreetly tries to pull away, she holds onto him with an iron grip. Refusing to let go for even a moment.
Like a bloodhound on the trail, Naegi jumps in again. Always ready and waiting, "Look, I get it, I do. You don't really know us and we're asking you for a lot of faith. We don't intend to let you down though. We've gotten you this far, right?" He looks almost…stern. Or at least as stern as someone like him can look.
"If you believe in us so damn much why not just release us? We can protect ourselves better than any of you can. You only caught us because we let you." Fuyuhiko pushes the limits as usual. Izuru can't help but stare at the slight up tilt of his lips as the flickering glow of fury burns brightly in his eye.
"You know why…" Byakuya practically deflates. Izuru gets the feeling he’s barely refraining from face palming. If he looks closely he thinks he can see a vein slowly bulging on the boys forehead. Izuru finds himself almost fixated on the sight. On the mundane dullness of such a reaction.
Despite knowing he should pay attention to everything said, he can't help but feel himself slowly drift away from the conversation like many times before. Nothing can justify putting in the effort to listen to the constant back and forth anymore. Well, nothing other than the ever present anxiety of allowing these fools to have these kinds of conversations on their own.
"You said so yourself… Junko is gone now…" Sonia's voice wobbles ever so slightly at the end. It's the first time he has seen her letting anything slip. Her arms slowly moving to wrap around herself.
"Is that all you called us here for? You heard us talking yesterday and called this whole session just for that?" Izuru tries to soothe his now burning skull with a few light massages of his temple but it doesn't relent.
When did he get this tense? It's like every muscle in his upper body has stiffened awkwardly at once. An odd part of his brain can't help but self consciously wonder how it must look to everyone else, but their faces are unchanged. They look no more or less focused on him than they did before.
"We were going to have this meeting anyway. We know that for this to work we need to be honest with you all about the situation and keep you updated on the progression of the situation - especially since we might have to leave you here soon in order to sort things out with the others." Once again, Naegi is showing absolutely no sign of lying and yet Izuru can't bring himself to believe the boy.
Izuru knows the future foundation. He knows them all too well - even if they have no idea who he is. He dares say he knows them better than Naegi and his crew, having been present beyond the school walls since the beginning of the end of everything. And even if he didn't, Ryoko's - or more fittingly: Junko's - talent is built into his mind anyway. No matter how much Naegi believes he knows about them and how they will react, Izuru knows more. Telling him that isn't likely to achieve anything though.
"Me and Hiro are gonna leave tomorrow to try and delay the other future foundation members for a while. We don't wanna abandon you while you still need our help and protection but it's the best we can manage until we can convince them to give you guys a chance!" Asahina gives them a hearty fist pump which looks better suited to Naegi if he's being honest.
The future foundation must know she and Hiro were involved in all this by now. A talent isn't required to tell them that it won't end well. For their sake he hopes they aren't killed on arrival.
"Yeah! You can rely on us, don't worry!" He searches Hiro's voice for any kind of hesitation or anxiety but somehow he still sounds confident. Hopeful even.
"Me, Kyoko, and Byakuya will stick around here for you guys as long as we can though!"
It isn't exactly the most comforting news. Their sheer confidence speaks more to delusional idiocy than bravery. Although is there really much difference between the two.
Akane snorts loudly and stands up unsteadily, "Great…"
He'd thought he was struggling with the weakened muscles but Akane looks like a light wind could blow her over. Every inch of her body shakes as she shuffles forward. It's a miracle she's managed to stand without buckling. A miracle or perhaps her own undying stubbornness.
They're all fixated on her as she stumbles her way forward and out of the room. Everyone silently waiting for the moment she's going to inevitably fall over but it never comes.
"A-Akane -" Kazuichi tries to reach towards her, as if trying to yank her back towards them before she rounds the corner but Fuyuhiko is faster.
"Just leave her." He grips the mechanics arm in a death grip, keeping it frozen awkwardly in mid air. They can all hear her slam the door as she disappears into her room, "Was that all you had to say?"
Izuru sits back in his chair, watching it all play out before him. He keeps an eye on each of them in turn but - with the exception of Kirigiri - they're far from proficient at hiding their feelings.
"For now, yes." Byakuya all but rolls his eyes. He doesn't even wait for his companion's before making his move. While everyone else is still sat down, he's already half way across the room with his elongated legs.
Naegi glances over his shoulder at the slowly receding figure of Byakuya as he speaks, "W-Well, I also wanted to mention that I have access to files and footage from the Neo World Program if any of you wants to see if they trigger anything. We don't really know if anything carried over to your bodies but it might be worth looking at."
Izuru freezes for a moment. It's no surprise that they would have that kind of video footage but it still somehow catches him off guard.
He's never enjoyed watching himself on camera - he's done a pretty good job at avoiding them all together - but how would it feel to see Hajime on film? Someone else walking around in his skin. He supposes the boy must have films of himself out there - Hopes Peak would surely have plenty themselves - but he's never cared enough to look for them. Why would he? Still…a small part of him does wonder out of curiosity. He can't have been completely incompetent if he survived over all the others.
"Memories of ourselves in some simulation killing game…?" Kazuichi stiffens and leans forwards ever so slightly. Hanging off Naegi's every word as his forehead gets more and more wrinkled.
Naegi laughs awkwardly, forcing it a little too much for Izuru’s liking, "They might not be the most pleasant memories but maybe the reminder of who you used to be will be helpful in some way… You never know until you try…"
Of course he knows their true intentions here: to try and finish the work of the program they made. Still, do they really expect them to actually take up the offer? Who knows of any memories they recover would be real anyway? It's not uncommon for the human mind to create false memories around video footage or stories of the past.
However, apparently not waiting for responses, the others are already slowly rising out of their chairs. Like a herd, they awkwardly follow in the path Byakuya left for them.
"Good luck you guys! I'm sure you'll recover really well." Asahina peers over her shoulder to wave to them as she leaves the room. He can't say he's going to be sad to see her go.
Just behind her, hidden nearly out of sight by the others, he manages to spot Kirigiri. She's quietly looking back at them all. No, not quite. She is looking back but not at the others - she's looking back at him.
But then, just like that, she rounds the corner and disappears. The others follow just after, their voices just about audible for a few seconds as they move further and further away. Heading off to who knows where.
Just like him, everyone else stays completely frozen. It's only when the sounds of them have long since vanished that they dare to relax, sinking into the couch bit by bit.
"Ugh! Thank fuck they're gone…" Fuyuhiko throws his arms behind his head casually. He takes a huge dramatic breath in before splaying out on the couch as far as he can with the rest of them sitting here too.
It seems even that isn’t enough though as Sonia suddenly shuffles right into him. Trying to make space for Fuyuhiko's new positioning. While he does his best to move as far away from her as possible, it's useless. There's only one thing he can do: without a word he pushes off and stands as best he can. His legs wobble but with a hand on the arm rest stabilising him he keeps himself upright. It's better than being pressed against the others at least…
"Tell me about it." Kazuichi mutters, completely lost in his own world still.
"There’s no fucking way they're going to be able to keep us alive. We're just sitting ducks here."
The vibrations from Fuyuhiko slamming his fist down against the couch spread all the way along its surface. He can feel it through his own arm as he struggles to keep himself upright. It certainly isn't helped by Sonia trying to pull herself up too, almost knocking into him until she is fully standing. Ignoring everyone else as she begins walking off just like Akane had a few minutes ago.
"Hmmm… you might be right…" Kazuichi mumbles but it's clear all his focus is focused on Sonia as she makes her way towards Akane's room with a little more grace than the other girl had.
"Akane -" Sonia's dainty fist taps against the door of Akane's room softly, "I noticed you seem to have not eaten since we arrived here. I was going to attempt to make some food if there is anything you would like me to make…" Nothing but silence awaits her, "Akane?"
Following in her footsteps, Izuru quietly makes his way over to the corridor. This would probably be a good time to get himself some food but he doubts he could force food down, even if he wanted to. However, it's curiosity that keeps him frozen in the corridor, watching the seemingly permanently sealed door to Akane's room.
"Just leave it, Sonia. She's not going to come out…" Fuyuhiko throws his head back painfully and groans at the ceiling.
"Y-Yeah. She's pretty committed to staying in there." Even Kazuichi mumbles without much hope.
Nevertheless, none of their words are going to shift Sonia at all, "And so I should just let her starve in there?" Sonia chuffs and folds her arms tightly to her chest.
"N-No -"
What are you going to do? Drag her out and force food down her throat?" Fuyuhiko finally joins them standing up. "It's Akane. When she gets really hungry she'll get herself something."
Izuru is almost jealous at the steadiness with which he holds himself. He's as sturdy and dexterous as ever before while the rest of them are still wobbly messes. Is this one of the benefits of a small height or is it just the tenacity of a yakuza?
Shaking his head, Izuru finally turns to let himself into his room. If Akane was going to let anyone in she'd have done it by now. Anything more is just an exercise in futility. He would rather just relax in peace within the confines of his own room than waste time out here.
"Fuyuhiko -" The sound of his door knob turning seems to be enough to catch Sonia's attention. Forgetting all about Fuyuhiko, she rounds on him instead, "Kamukura, where are you going?"
He lets out a deep sigh. If he was truly commited, he could just follow Akane's example and lock himself in his room before Sonia can stop him. What could she do to stop him? The idea most definitely sounds appealing - it worked so well for Akane after all. Does he really want to have to listen to her constant knocking though?
"To my room."
"Well, I was wondering if you could impart me with some of your culinary knowledge. I am not the most skilled in the kitchen and it may be nice to have some pleasant food for a change. It might even encourage Akane to eat." Sonia wanders off on a completely unrelated spiel. He's beginning to wonder if she has a focus problem as Akane seemingly escapes her pestering with ease.
"You'd be doing us all a favor honestly…" He can hear Fuyuhiko's quiet muttering from the other room but he doesn't even attempt to make his voice any louder.
People always come begging when they need something, don't they? Of course, because he's made to serve, isn't he? He bristles uncomfortably, his grip on the doorknob tightening viciously. People don’t change.
"There are probably recipe books somewhere around here. I’m sure you can find something suitable." He yanks open the door with a little more force than is necessary.
Despite how well she attempts to cover it up, he can hear Sonia flinch back. She lets out softest yelp he's ever heard as she shuffles backwards on unsteady legs. In the face of everything he still feels a little…bad at the sound of her sudden distress. It's not enough to stop him from slinking back into his room though. Writing it out of his memory at once.
As soon as the door locks behind him he takes a deep shuddering breath in. They better not begin attacking his door like Akane’s. After all, aren't their rooms supposed to be their private 'safe' places? It feels strange to call it that in this situation though he supposes.
Beyond these walls he can hear the others still talking softly but no knocking follows. That's as much as he can ask for. Slowly even those get quieter as they presumably move further away from the corridor.
Hours pass uninterrupted any of the others. He has no idea what they're all doing and has no intention of finding out. Things have always been this way and that's how it is best.
It's not exactly the most stimulating but that's nothing new. He probably should attempt to find some books or entertainment in this place if he's going to stay here any longer. Nonetheless it gives him more than enough time to try out all the exercises they were given. He's not sure if it is really working but it must still be better than nothing.
~~~
27/04 - 16:00
“Kamukura…” Unsurprisingly, it's Sonia's voice on the other side, “Are you still in there?”
He pauses for a moment. He could just stay quiet. What would she do? Knock harder? Shout louder? He doubts she's going to try and force her way in considering how she left Akane be earlier.
And yet -
“Yes.” He calls back curtly.
There’s another pregnant pause before her soft voice calls through the door, “Can you let me in? I brought food.”
At the sound of the word his stomach twists. He'd barely even thought of food all day, it's not like he's been burning much energy after all. Now he's aware of his stomach he probably should eat though. It would be difficult for his muscles to recover if he doesn't take care of it.
Despite his earlier conviction, he carries himself over to the door and pulls it open for her. It's no surprise to see her stood elegantly waiting, a bowl of noodles in hand. She's as put together as ever, hair perfect and tumbling down over her shoulder. She looks too pristine for this place.
Without a word he steps aside to allow her into the room. For a few seconds they just stand there awkwardly as he waits for her to walk by. It's a relief when she finally finds her way in and perches delicately right on the edge of his bed.
“Kamukura -”
“What do you need?” He clears his throat, cutting her off as he takes the bowl of food from her in the blink of an eye.
“I - I just wanted to check on you. We have not seen you all day and you disappeared into your room yesterday too… I thought you might not have eaten since yesterday so here is some food we made. It might not be perfect but at least it is something.” She brushes a gold strand of hair behind one ear and stares at him and the food in his hand.
Does she want him to eat it right now? His stomach growls with the smell of food right there under it. Whether it's any good or not, it's better than nothing.
“Thank you.”
Trying to ignore her prying eyes, he slowly makes his way through the food. It's far from good but he makes sure to finish it all anyway. Food isn't something to be picky over but he supposes if he does want high quality food then he's going to have to go do it himself.
She doesn't say a word as he finishes the food. Thankfully she's stopped watching him, instead examining the room as if there's anything to see. It might as well be a blank slate but somehow something about it must be of interest to her. Still it's a relief when he finally finishes, gripping onto the bowl tighter as he sets it down in his lap. Eating with a spectator is far from his favourite thing.
“How are you doing?” Her hands are knotted in the fabric of her trousers. He can see her nails picking at a single loose thread which is gradually increasing in size with each delicate tug. He has to resist the urge to reach forward and pull her hands off to spare the fabric. Hopefully some of her clothes have escaped the attack.
“How am I doing?” He arches an eyebrow. What's the point of these kinds of questions in this situation?
“Y-Yes. How are you feeling since leaving the Neo World Program?”
“I have been better I suppose. I've been worse as well though." He leans back and crosses his arms awkwardly. He knows all too well that his words are about as unhelpful as they can be but the last thing he wants to do right now is tell her everything that is spinning around in his head, "Did you just come here to talk about it?"
"Not exactly. I was just wondering if everyone was feeling this way. I wonder if something truly happened to our minds because of that program." It's only now that she abandons her piece of thread. Her throat bobbing as she swallows hard.
He's glad it isn't just him being affected by all this, it can't simply be his modified brain reacting badly to the program then. That's good - or at least it feels like that is the better option. Does she get those weird dreams too?
Without any warning, blinding pain shoots through his skull like a white hot poker poker. The more he thinks about the dream, the stronger the pain in his head. It’s like his own body is trying to punish him or something.
Searching for an escape he sets down his chopsticks and bowl on the bedside table so he can lie down on the bed. Blocking out Sonia as much as he can as he does so. Laying there, his thick black hair fans out underneath him making for a very uncomfortable pillow. Staring up at the ceiling, he scrunches his eyes closed. It's not much better but the darkness relieves some of the pressure building in behind his eyes.
He can still hear Sonia shuffling about for a few seconds before she lies down beside him. The sound of her soft breaths fill the room. Normally he would have assumed the sound would grate against him but this time there is something comforting about it.
For a few seconds they both lie there on his bed. Bit by bit the aching in his skull bleeds out, leaving his head throbbing but bearable. His hand drops to his side once again as he breaths a heavy sigh. Surely he must look crazy to her but he doesn't care enough to change her mind on that.
Cracking one eye open, he turns his head to look at her, "Maybe. It is novel technology after all. They said they hadn't tested it at all so who knows what the side effects could be."
This most certainly wasn't one of the listed side effects that he was warned about. Then again, knowing this was an effect wouldn't have dissuaded him from entering. It didn't even stop him entering again the other night.
"Maybe we should never have gone in that place…"
"Probably."
He gently rubs his forehead in an attempt to relieve the last of the ache. It's not particularly effective but at least the small circular motions are somewhat soothing. A small moment of peace. That is, until Sonia sits up suddenly.
"Are you going to see the videos Naegi has?" She asks and looks down at him. It's surreal to be staring up at her now towering figure.
He supposes this must be the true reason she's here. Curiosity getting the better of her. He's not surprised that at least one of them wanted to go see the videos. Someone will always take the bait he supposes.
"I am guessing your question means you are going to watch them." He carefully pushes himself up off the bed until they are eye level once again.
"Perhaps. Are you not interested?"
He practically snorts at the suggestion. "Not really. No. It was boring watching the 78th class so I can't imagine it being any more interesting to watch the 77th class."
Seeing people kill each other isn't all that interesting. Especially when someone like Junko can predict it all before hand.
"I do not like being in the dark about everything."
He can't say he disagrees. Being in the dark will only put them at a disadvantage but how much would they really learn from the killing game? Naegi and the others never seemed to be lying when they told them what happened - even if it was a surface level explanation. Is it really worth watching through the entire killing game for information that might not even be there?
"While you were gone we discussed the possibility of having group meals - at least for a little while. The others may be listening to our conversations but I believed there is still worth in staying in communication with one another. Especially if the Future Foundation could arrive any day."
"Who is 'we'?"
"Kazuichi and I… Fuyuhiko locked himself in his room after you left this morning." Sonia clears her throat and looks down ever so slightly.
Perfect. What a merry little band they are.
Of course him, Kazuichi, and Sonia eating a few meals together will be an awful spanner in the works for the Future Foundation. However will they be able to overcome that grand plan? He wants to roll his eyes but holds himself back.
"Can I count on you to attend our meals?" She meets his eyes, some remnant of a spark dancing somewhere deep in the blue of her eyes.
"Perhaps…" He mutters with the wave of his hand. There's no point turning her down right now, she’s not exactly going to accept anything he says.
“W-Well I… I look forward to having you join us.” As she slides off the bed to stand once more she can’t help but turn to curtsy at him. At this point he can’t even tell if she’s aware she’s doing it or not - it might just be muscle memory kicking in, “I-I will leave you be now. However, I do believe that staying locked in your room alone is not good for your health. Regardless of everything that has happened, we are all each other has now. With Junko and the rest of them gone, we must have each others back first and foremost. If we allow ourselves to die then everything Junko and the others worked for shall be gone for good.”
How is he supposed to answer that? Is she looking for the truth? He can’t imagine she wants him to stand here and explain all the reasons he couldn’t care in the slightest. As usual it’s just a sweet lie she’s fishing for. Pointless.
"That may be so."
"P-Please think about it at least." She leaves him with those parting words before finally slipping away, sealing the door behind her.
He lays down again in the darkness, staring up at the ceiling. Sonia’s words and the thoughts of the Neo World Program still laying over him like a smothering blanket. Snuffing everything else out just like that.
~~~
27/04 - 20:17
Even though hours have passed, as he sits there in his room Sonia’s words keep coming back to him. Washing over him like a wave every time he thinks he’s started to regain some semblance of stability.
He had made his mind up. Regardless of what Sonia said, there was nothing be be gained from seeking out the memories and videos. Nothing at all. And yet, with nothing else to distract his mind, he can’t seem to put the idea to bed.
By the time he finally gets up from his bed, slipping out of his bedroom door, his body might as well be moving of its own accord. Lead by his own weak impulses as he struggles to control himself any longer. His limbs twitching anxiously as he creeps out of his room and into the communal area as best he can without his walker to lean on. It’s hardly elegant or quiet but thankfully there is no one else in sight.
Damn Sonia getting into his head…
He might not want to have his memories tainted by videos that Naegi shows him but perhaps there is something else he can do. An alternative solution to the situation he’s in. That’s how he finds himself tip toeing out of the main room and across the hall once again.
And yet, as soon as he enters the room he’s greeted by a presence he hadn’t quite expected…
"Hin- I mean, Kamukura? What are you doing here. Should -" Asahina jumps up, eyes wide as she looks at him like he has just teleported in or something.
Coming here he had been expecting to see Kirigiri, but he hadn’t accounted for the presence of the tanned girl leaning back in one of the chairs. Well she had been leaning back, now she's stood up stiffly, hand reaching back to tap Kirigiri as if she somehow would have missed Izuru's entrance.
"It's okay." Kirigiri reassures Asahina and holds her hand with a light squeeze, "I was just briefing Asahina before she leaves for the future foundation."
"I see…" Izuru nods slowly.
What should he do now? It's not like they're asking him to leave but are they just going to stare at him the entire time?
"Is there something you needed?" Asahina clears her throat and twists back to look at Kirigiri for a moment.
"I was simply coming to see the machine again. I presume that is fine by you." Izuru gestures to all the pods around them. At the same time he leans so he can look right past Asahina, watching Kirigiri instead as their eyes lock onto one another.
"I don't know if you should really keep doing this." Kirigiri slowly stands up. Ignoring her colleague, she brushes past and stops right before Izuru. Behind her he can just about make out Asahina gaping like a fish and looking around frantically.
"Why not?"
"We still aren't sure if this is really safe now. Without anyone who actually understands the mechanics we have no way of ensuring it's safety anymore. If we ever could in the first place."
He wants to believe she's just making excuses but, even now with his mind somehow scrambled, eyes don't lie. Honesty and openess spill over her eyes. It's how he imagines normal people would have looked at each other. Despite everything, he has faith in his own read of her.
"It was perfectly fine last time I went in." It hurts listening to how much he sounds like a petulant child - she's the one being unreasonable though. She let him do it last time and nothing has changed between now and then. If anything it's more likely to be safe now. Is she only objecting because Asahina is here?
"The last time?" Asahina half gasps, still not quite catching on. Her mind scrambling feebly to try and put everything together.
"And so it will always be completely safe? I know you don't believe us but we really do want your safety. Are the vague possibilities of answers worth the risk?" Kirigiri tilts her head to one side as if that will somehow help her get a better look at him.
"Sorry, but what are you talking about?" Asahina asks desperately.
She tries to insert herself by running up to them both but they keep her blanked out. Still focused on one another as Asahina twitches in their peripheral vision. Can't she let them talk for a while without needing to be involved?
"You may not understand machinery like this, however I do. I know what I am risking and what I stand to gain. I wouldn't take action unless I knew the rewards outweighed the risks."
Izuru does his best to block out Asahina as he explains but she apparently doesn't get the message, "Guys! Stop talking like I'm not even here! What are you going on about?!" She places a hand on both of their chests and lightly pushes them both aside enough to place herself directly in the middle.
His immediate reflex is to grip her wrist and twist as hard as he can but he reins himself in. Instead his nails bite the palm of his hand and his teeth clench. Creaking inside his skull. Anything to squash down his impulses before he does something he would regret...
Logically he knows her hand is nowhere near as manicured or dainty as Junko's but he still somehow feels her red nails pressed up against his chest. Just the slight touch of a hand feels like her hands roaming over him, dragging on skin and clothes, again.
What the hell is going on?!
Thankfully her hand disappears from his chest in the blink of an eye and his entire body heaves a shaky breath. It's like a mere touch had sucked the oxygen out of his lungs. He can only hope he doesn’t look as weak and pathetic on the outside right now. Thankfully Asahina and Kirigiri are still locked in conversation, not paying him any mind at all. The one good thing the girl has done so far.
"- the Neo World Program again the other night."
"You WHAT?! What did Makoto say?!" Asahina shouts, throwing her hands up in the air. He finds himself tracking their movement and taking a small step back. It's still not enough to push him fully outside her arm reach but it's something.
"He doesn't know."
"WHAT?!" While his body screams at him to cover his ears at the screech, he doesn't dare move his arm. Remaining as still as possible in case any movement would draw attention to himself once again.
Surely someone else hears that. Great, now the whole circus is going to come storming in. Why couldn't he have just stayed in his room? He should have known better.
"I deemed it safe and kept a close eye on him the entire time. If we're going to try and help save them then we can't just treat them like prisoners. We need to give them a chance to learn, understand and change." Kirigiri finally looks over at him. He's starting to think they see their class as some kind of weird charity project. Then again as long as it gets them to help, what does it really matter.
"I - I guess. But still…"
"I suppose you're going to want to monitor my activity in the program again." Izuru tries to cuts off the other girl again.
Before she's even answered he's made his way towards his pod once more. Hands reaching down to press into the cool hard surface. The sooner he gets in and out of the program the better at this point.
Despite Asahina being nowhere near him now, he can still feel those sharp manicured fingers pressed against his chest. The shaky twitching feeling rippling within his own chest like a caged animal thrashing against its confines. He really needs to get into the machine before his body does something stupid.
"Yes. Of course. If you're worried then you can observe as well, Hina." He's not looking their way but he can here them chattering and Kirigiri tapping away at the keyboard.
Just get in. Just do this one thing without needing help or looking pathetic. He's not even sure he can manage that at this point… He tries to ignore their muttering as he grips the edge of the pod and drags himself up and inside. The soft green glow surrounding him once again.
"Observe Kamukura? I… Well… I guess I could… Makoto probably won't be mad, right?"
"I highly doubt anything we do will ever make him mad."
"Fine. But -"
Rolling his eyes, he can feel his shoulders stiffening. The palms of his hand dripping with sweat where the edge of the machine digs into it. With every passing second it gets harder and harder to force himself to take in a breath. Air abandoning him just like that.
"Okay, can we just get on with it then? You can talk while I'm in there and don't need to listen to you." He groans and sends a piercing glare back towards them both. There is only so long he can put up with this back and forth.
"Hey, you -!"
As if somehow sensing Izuru's unease, Kirigiri nods firmly and offers a miniscule smile. Or maybe that was just a twitch of her lips. "Of course."
Thankfully he doesn't need to hear another word from either of them before the machine boots up and he's dragged under once again.
~~~
"You came back again!" Alter Ego greets him with a chirpy smile, holding a hand out towards him to help pull him up. Still, Izuru simply let's it stay hanging there as he looks it up and down fiercely. He's had more than enough of that for one day.
"You're already here?" He looks around only to find the same bright, tropical beach from last time. Exactly the same. As perfect as ever.
He'd been expecting to get at least a little time to himself and yet here Alter Ego is immediately. Perhaps it's just Izuru's mind playing tricks on him but he could swear the AI's colours somehow look more...vibrant today.
"Yep! I saw you being uploaded so brought myself here to greet you." It grins warmly, filled with pure innocent light.
Who knew an AI program could feel so…alive? He's seen Alter Ego on the video footage and spent more time than he'd like with Junko's AI but this feels different. He always knew they were good at copying behaviors and patterns from people but Junko's AI never felt this full of life. Maybe that was a Junko problem not an AI one.
"I see…"
"I'm so happy to see you again but what did you need?" Alter Ego claps its hands together and watches Izuru expectantly.
He'd thought he'd just be able to wander about on his own - he hadn't expected having to explain himself. It was naive and optimistic of him to expect anything different though.
"Well…I…" Why did he think this was a good idea? Damn Sonia for getting in his head and making him look like an idiot, "I just wanted to look around his place." He finally relents and explains himself. Somehow it sounds so much dumber spoken aloud. This was a mistake.
"Look around? You just want to see the islands?" Alter Ego tilts its head to the side softly, tapping its chin gently.
"Yes."
"Why?" Alter Ego's innocent voice already grates on him. Is it too late to back out now?
"Do you always ask so many questions?" Unable to keep himself in check, he snaps a little too fast.
Immediately Alter Ego recoils, shrinking down on itself. Just like the person it was modeled after, small shimmering tears begin building up in it eyes. Threatening to fall at any given moment.
Oh great…he's managed to make an AI cry. This program is what beat Junko?
Sighing softly, he takes a deep breath, "Sorry…" He tries to soften his voice as much as he can. While it still sounds stiff and awkward but it must be good enough as Alter Ego stops sniffling for long enough to blink away some of the tears.
"It's…fine…I’m not annoyed with you." He clears his throat and automatically softens his voice. His body naturally follows the ‘comfort’ protocol as he scans the AI up and down, detecting its weaknesses, "I just wanted to see if I remembered anything by being here."
"You…want to…try a-and r-r-remember…your t-time…h-here?!" Alter Ego barely manages to even form words between awkward sniffles. If it was anyone but Izuru here, he doubts they would catch a word of that blubber.
"Yes." Izuru nods solemnly and makes himself look meek and vulnerable. Staring at the world around him like a lost puppy.
After a few more awkward gulps and some furious eye wiping, Alter Ego tries to speak again, "But Kyoko and Makoto should still have video files for everything that happened. Why don't you just watch the videos?" Its voice is still shaky and its eyes are bigger and soppier than Izuru ever thought was possible.
"I would rather remember myself than rely on videos."
Like a switch has been flicked, Alter Ego suddenly begins nodding enthusiastically, "Well I can show you around then!"
While he had been aware of the beach theme from the first time he came here - its not exactly subtle - seeing the extent of it stretched across the island is almost impressive. The entire time Alter Ego narrates the purpose of each location - as if he needs to be told why a supermarket and airport are on this fake vacation island.
He would be lying if he said he was paying attention to any of the individual words. Instead he’s drinking in every environment, waiting for something, anything, to stand out amongst the set dressing. Hajime must have spent some amount of time around these places but not even the tiniest hint of déjà vu is anywhere to be seen.
“Where did we stay?” He cuts through whatever Alter Ego was saying about the airport luggage carousel, waiting sharply with rapt attention.
“U-Ummmm…you mean where you all s-slept?” Alter Ego trips over its words, eyebrows slightly upturned.
“Yes. I presume we weren’t all put to rest on the planes each night.”
Of course that gets Alter Ego frantically shaking its head once more in its rush to correct him, “N-No! We decided to set you all up in the hotel so you could have the most comfortable experience possible.”
He almost snorts. Clearly that worked out well.
“Can you bring me there?”
Clearly receptive to any engagement it can get, Alter Ego promptly whisks him away, leading him further down the dusty beach pathway towards the largest building as far as the eye can see. Not that that is saying much given the sheer lack of large buildings on the deserted island. The future foundation could have made anything and this is what they went with. They did the best they could he supposes…
“You all stayed in these cabins, each of you had one to yourselves.” Alter Ego puffs out its chest, gesturing down the pathway at the ramshackle beach style huts lining both sides of the path.
Okay, he might be underselling them a little. There must not have been an ultimate architect to consult with this part of the simulation but it’s perfectly suitable all things considered. At least they hadn’t forced the group to share some kind of dormitory, instead the cabins stretch out in both directions making for a cozy little neigbourhood by the poolside. They have to take the small wins where they can get them.
Alter Ego leans slightly towards him, eyes narrowed curiously, “Do you want me to show you your own cabin?” Alter Ego asks tentatively.
“No.” The words spill out a little too fast for his liking. Alter Ego immediately shuffles backwards, shrinking down by a few inches. He sighs deeply and rubs his temple, “No, its fine. I just want to see what I can remember of this place.”
“Hmmm…well you shouldn’t remember anything of this place.”
“Yes. I shouldn’t...” He takes a deep breath in and stands up even straighter. Looking down both sides of the housing. Narrowing his eyes uncertainly.
Hajime's housing. All of their housing. One by one, he moves down the pathway to his right, brushing his hand slowly across each door. Reaching out for something. Anything.
Come on. Come on!
No matter how much he touches them he feels nothing but rough wood under his fingers tips. Any defining features of each hut have been removed from the outside. Blank mail boxes sit empty in front of each hut.
“This is useless.” He shakes his head.
What is he even thinking coming here? How far he has fallen in just a day or two.
There’s a slow creak of wooden boards behind him as Alter Ego creeps ever so slightly closer. Is there even any point in questioning the logic of boards creaking underneath an AI creation?
“I don’t mean to interfere, but I can unlock all the doors if you would like to look within each one. It might not be helpful but it could be worth a try just in case.” Alter Ego asks softly, biting down on its bottom lip subconsciously.
“Okay.”
That’s all it takes apparently. Just like that all the doors swing open dramatically giving him a good view of everything beyond.
Emptiness. Empty room upon empty room. Just like everything else here, all traces of human existence have been vanished away. Well this is going well… Not for the first time he sit here wondering what he was even thinking when he came here. This is the last time he listens to Sonia about anything.
But even so, he slowly moves back down the path he just came from, stepping into each room as he passes. They all feel emptier than the one before. Beds neatly made and waiting silently. It feels like a hole has been carved into each one and the guts have been yanked out until only the hollow husk is left behind.
The more he stares at blank canvases, the more his head starts to throb. A harsh fiery burn that sizzles along the scar on his head. It’s almost as if something is trying to tear out of his skull to fill the void. With Alter Ego, Kirigiri, and Asahina probably fixated on him he doesn’t dare reach up to inspect the scar. Instead he balls his hands into a fist and clenches his jaw tightly. The pain will pass. It always does.
Sighing, he shuffles out of the room and into the last one on this side of the pathway. It looks exactly the same as all the other ones. Just as still, just as empty. And yet…
He takes one step in and breathes in the stale air. He could swear there’s something else lingering in the air; the scent of crisps and energy drinks still heavy despite the lack of everything around him. Perhaps its the pain of his head or the desire for this not to be yet another waste of his time but he could swear he’s been in here before. As if responding to something beyond himself he’s drawn forwards towards the corner of the room. He subconsciously steps over clutter that is no longer spread across the floor until he’s staring blankly at the corner.
There was an arcade machine here. He’s sure of it! He can practically feel it pressing against his hand as he reaches out.
“Are you okay?” Alter Ego asks slowly, it’s head leaning through the doorway while it’s feet remain firmly situated across the threshold.
He clears his throat and shakes his head ever so slightly. “Of course I’m fine.” He stares around the room once more but the scent in the air has dissipated and he’s just staring at nothing once again, “Who’s room was this?”
“Um this wasn’t your room. It was a girl named Chiaki’s room. Chiaki Nanami.” The words come out as nothing more than a soft whisper. Breath waiting to be whisked away by the slightest wind.
He’s never heard the name before and yet the rippling pain slicing through his head only grows stronger at the sound of the name. If she wasn’t one of the despairs then she must have been one of the observers Alter Ego mentioned.
“I see.”
Nanami. Nanami. Nanami.
He chants the name in his mind as if he’s hoping it will undo whatever is going on with his head. But with every repetition it only gets worse and worse. Scrunching his eyes shut he storms out of the room, pushing past Alter Ego to breathe in the crisp cool air outside. He finally gives in and brushes his hand against the scar, feeling the ridges brush against his finger tips as he slowly moves his hand all the way around his skull. Almost instantaneously the pain fades away as if it had never been there to begin with. Nothing is left but the soft ridges under his fingertip.
“Um…Sorry if this is out of place but…did…did you remember something?” Alter Ego’s brows are knotted together as it hovers by the doorway, staring at him uncomfortably.
He immediately drops his arm back to his side, “No.” He shakes off slightly and rolls his shoulders back, “So, we should probably move on to the rest of the tour.”
Alter Ego tries to regain its smiley cheery attitude once more but it clearly wasn’t designed for acting. For the entire rest of the tour it’s unable to stop staring at him. Eyes cutting through the back of his head at every turn. He has to shove down the desire to snap out at it. He has to keep it together so Kirigiri doesn’t drag him out of here. He’s under no delusions that Kirigiri would immediately take him away if he said even the slightest thing against the small AI program, regardless of how much it was deserved.
No matter where Alter Ego drags him, the feeling from before never returns. He sees beaches, libraries, hospitals, motels, even factories and theme parks, but its all foreign. Abandoned places in a fake world. He stares at every room in every corner but it’s all utterly pointless.
“I’m sorry you didn’t get what you came here for.” Alter Ego stares down at its feet as it speaks.
“Don’t worry. It was a long shot. The program erased everything after all.” Besides, its not like there was absolutely nothing to gain from this.
Nevertheless, he doubts there’s anything he could say to dissuade Alter Ego’s worries. Instead he gives it a soft wave before being dragged back out by Kirigiri and Asahina.
~~~
“Welcome back to the land of the living!” Asahina’s grinning face is unfortunately the first greeting he gets as he opens his eyes.
He’s starting to appreciate Kirigiri more and more as time goes by. At least Asahina will be gone soon. This is only temporary.
She reaches her hand out towards him, still watching him softly. He’s about to knock the hand away and drag himself out when he feels the stiffness radiating through his body. Just a few hours in the machine and he had already forgotten his predicament.
Sucking in a deep breath, he takes her hand and lets her drag him from the machine and into his walker. His legs shake as he presses himself up against the metal frame. His hand slowly begin turning white as his grip grows tighter and tighter.
“Did you learn anything?” The soft, serious voice of Kirigiri drags his gaze upwards.
With Asahina still bouncing about, he almost hadn’t noticed Kirigiri lurking in the darkness. She’s resting against the wall, her ponytail slung over one should and one leg propped up against the wall behind her. A notebook is still in hand and her pen is tucked away behind her ear. He’s torn between his curiosity wanting to sneak a peek into its contents but also not caring enough about whatever Kirigiri has written about him. It wouldn’t be the first time.
“Nothing of use.”
And neither of them try to stop him as he shuffles out of the room.
Chapter 4: 28th of April
Summary:
A choice by Sonia begins to send ripples through the group.
Notes:
Happy Birthday to Nagito! I'd say this chapter is for him but he's still dead so...
Chapter Text
28/04 - 10:45
He’s not sure what he’s thinking when he steps out of his bedroom and into the corridor once more. The sound of voices immediately hitting him as he lingers in front of his door. With the angle the corridor is at compared to the main sections of the communal area he can't actually see the others but even so he can pick out each voice. They're hardly difficult to differentiate.
He should turn around and go back to his room…his memory isn’t that short term that he would forget how the mere thought of being around them had drained him yesterday. And yet as he stands there now, listening to them, he can’t convince himself to turn around and return into the room. His body subconsciously being drawn towards them.
Perhaps it's the grumbling of his stomach that drags him from his darkened room but he's gone far longer without food before… If he was truly hungry there is nothing stopping him from simply waiting until the others leave the kitchen before sorting himself out far better food. Surely they will leave sooner or later.
Perhaps he simply doesn’t trust himself to be alone with his own mind when it is seemingly so volatile right now. While he doesn't remember any dreams from the last night, he still woke up shaking violently, with sweat dripping off every inch of his skin. Even stripping down and scrubbing clean couldn't get rid of the sticky feeling all over his skin.
Or perhaps it’s the boredom beginning to gnaw at him. Getting under his skin until he can't stand it anymore. Not wanting to go back to sleep he had tried to keep himself busy with his exercises but there's only so much walking back and forth he could do until the boredom began to accumulate. Boredom is hardly anything new, but today it seems to have his limbs twitching more and more the longer he stays in that room.
Either way, regardless of the excuse, it results in the same thing. After hours of listening to their voices, muffled through the walls that separate them, he is forgetting all of his resolve. Stumbling as stably as he can towards the common area before he remembers why he decided against this in the first place.
At least doing the exercises for most of the night seems to have done some good. Walking now he doesn't even bother taking the walker with him. Relying on only himself as it remains abandoned in the room once more. Sure, his legs still wobble uncomfortably every other step but it’s not enough that he needs to have it supporting him for such a short journey.
"Ha - Kamukura, you came." Sonia breaks into a smile at the sight of him.
Of course, she's already sat at the table with Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko, small cups of tea waiting in front of them. Fuyuhiko and Sonia both have small bowls of food in front of them - some kind of ramen by the looks of things - while Kazuichi has nothing but his tea and a small notepad and pen he’s writing with quietly. Their expressions are light and smiles touch their lips but the bags under their eyes have only gotten darker overnight.
"You asked me to." The words come out far more weary and resigned than he meant them too. Still, it does nothing to damper Sonia's expression though.
With slow and purposeful steps, he makes his way over to join them. Everyone is bunched together at one end of the table giving him more than enough space to find an appropriately distanced seat. However, instead of taking advantage of that, he pulls out the chair beside Kazuichi to sit amongst them all for once.
As soon as he sits down, Kazuichi's hand settles on his back out of nowhere. The pen and notebook now abandoned to one side as if it had never been there at all. Heavy warmth ripples across his back at the soothing motion, yet he has to tense his body to stop himself from flinching back at the sudden contact. Then, just like that, he pulls his hand away leaving Izuru sat there stiffly his mind still racing to keep up.
"I made the food today so it probably won't be as bad as yesterday." Fuyuhiko chuffs, his jaw still clenched, as he gestures to some pots on the counter. Izuru doesn't go to get any though. He doesn't even move.
His stomach silently churns but he keeps ignoring it. Instead his hands wrap softly around the small teacup that Sonia slides over to him. The heat stings his hands but he only grips it tighter. The dull throb slowly chases away the empty feeling in his stomach at least. And yet it does nothing to distract him from the still firm presence of Kazuichi looming at his side. The boys pink hair still bright and obnoxious, filling the edge of his vision.
Trying to seek some reprieve from Kazuichi, he looks over his shoulder to see three bowls stacked beside the sink but nothing else. There's even an optimistic untouched teacup in the middle of the table.
"Akane didn't come out again?"
Sonia lowers her head slowly and stares determinedly into her teacup. That bad, huh? He can't say he blames her. No matter how much they worry about her she always managed to survive on the brink of starvation before. If it gets really bad she'll find herself some food. He doesn't have the energy needed to worry about her at the moment.
Nevertheless he turns around in his chair to try and catch a glimpse of her still tightly sealed room. The door is just out of view and yet he doesn't need to be able to see it to know that nothing would have changed. Has she left of her own free will at all since arriving here?
"Nah. She’s being a bitch and won't come out her room." Fuyuhiko growls in a low voice. His grip on the teacup visibly tightening at the same time.
"Fuyuhiko…"
But despite Kazuichi's tentative plea, the hard edges of Fuyuhiko's expression don't shift even slightly. In fact it only makes things worse as Fuyuhiko's narrowed eyes round on Kazuichi. Tension writhing through the room until they can barely breath out of fear of disrupting the tentative balance.
So it didn't even take ten minutes before he regretted his decision… He saw this coming and yet he chose this path for himself. This time he can't even blame them for this.
He doesn't understand how Junko could stand working with these people. Then again, she wanted them to all die and be replaced with herself so maybe it does make sense.
"Do not worry. We will continue attempting to access her room and give her some food." Sonia's smile isn't even mildly convincing though. No matter how much he listens to her, it does nothing to relieve the pressure slowly choking out the room. Normally she has a relatively good poker face (all things considered) but it's worse than Kazuichi's right now.
Izuru stares down into the tea and tries to imagine any scenario in which Sonia’s naive ‘plan’ would be successful. Honestly they would have a better chance if he just broke in and force fed Akane but that seems like more effort than it's worth. More effort than they've ever wanted to put into her before. Maybe this is their own ways of distracting themselves, like him and his trips to the Neo World Program.
"Sure." Fuyuhiko grumbles but he doesn't keep arguing at least.
As if they're all on the same wavelength they each take a sip of their rapidly cooling tea in perfect synchronisation. He can still feel Kazuichi watching him from the corner of his eye but he doesn't bother addressing it. What would be the point?
Kazuichi is the first to break the silence as he sets down his teacup, "It's Nagito's birthday today, you know." Instead of looking at them, he looks up at the ceiling. Distracting himself within the plain white surfaces.
Nagito…
The white haired boy comes to the forefront of his mind at once. His tattered clothes. The red nailed hands he'd seen once before. The deranged, shallow eyes of a broken and destroyed boy. Unlike the others he rarely saw the other boy before that boat journey…
In spite of that, there is one other memory that flutters to the forefront of his mind. The bright determination and certainty of the boy he'd once met - even if just in passing. The pungent smoking smell of metal and gunpowder in his nose. The crack of a gun and the thud of a body. He'd been with the strange girl that Izuru still doesn't understand that time too.
Then a new memory rises to the surface to join it. The crackling flames and pink stain from his dream a few days ago. The pierced white shirt.
One hand reaches up to clutch at his head. There’s a sharp pang as his nails break skin but he still doesn't relent. The stinging of his hand on the tea cup was nothing compared to this new burning in his head.
"Izuru?" He just about notices the approach of Kazuichi's hand before it reaches his arm this time and he subtly shifts his position to avoid it in time.
"I just have a headache." He mumbles casually while he lays his hands on the table gently. Splaying his fingers to try and maintain some semblance of control.
"Sure." Of course he can hear the roll of Fuyuhiko’s eye even if spots are beginning to dance in front of his eyes, blurring his vision. Nevertheless he just acts as if he never heard anything within Fuyuhiko’s tone.
"Nagito…I do not think I was aware that this was his birthday…" Sonia mutters and stares down. A light pink colour brushes her cheeks. He can't imagine Sonia being so unaware of other people's birthdays like that. She always appeared to be very aware of others - for better or worse - when he did know her.
Even when he was supervising the ultimate despairs he never actually saw Nagito. He was already being supervised by the young children Junko kept around after all. From the beginning he was separated from the group - never meeting up for any of the joint ventures the other members organised. It might not be so surprising that no one but Kazuichi remembers his birthday if that's the case.
"Me neither. It's not strange though, it's not like we ever celebrated it." Fuyuhiko's words lack their normal bite. In fact, if you asked Izuru, it sounds more like regret than any kind of scathing remark.
"I guess he can't really have birthdays anymore…" Kazuichi chuckles weakly, the light not quite reaching his eyes.
For the first time Izuru finds himself turning to look at the other boy. He watches him slowly trace the rim of his cup with a callused finger. The jittery bounce of his leg under the table is more than a little familiar to Izuru. However there are no wrenches or screwdrivers anywhere - the Future Foundation members made sure of that - so he's left awkwardly twitching in his chair. As if on instinct he grabs the pen and paper and begins scribbling down something instead.
And yet, almost as soon as he starts, Sonia reaches over and grips his wrists, stilling him, "Kazuichi! It is not like they are dead." The words are stilted as they leave her mouth since her jaw is tensed, the muscles twitching. He's almost surprised that she can speak clearly at all.
Izuru feels the instant desire to shuffle away from them or leave altogether but instead he stays rooted to the spot. Eventually they'll back off like everyone else. Eventually.
"Why waste our time pretending they're ever going to wake up?" Kazuichi stiffens and yanks his wrist from her grip as fast as he can. Dropping the pen and letting it roll slowly towards Izuru.
It's only as Kazuichi picks up his tea that they can see how the liquid jostles within the confines, threatening to spill at any second. He finds himself transfixed once again, watching every movement of the liquid in the cup.
And yet, instead of watching Kazuichi, Sonia slowly leans back in her seat. Either consciously or unconsciously mirroring Kazuichi’s movements by reaching forward to take a sip of her own tea. Even when she finishes her sip she doesn't remove the cup from in front of her face as she begins to mumble.
“Well, what if we could bring them back?”
The room has never been so quiet. Not a breath. Not even a heartbeat.
She can't be serious? There is naivety and then there is this. If he didn’t know better he would think she was somehow existing within a different reality to the rest of them.
“Don’t be fucking ridiculous.” Fuyuhiko scowls once more, his jaw clenched viciously. Despite his words, there is something within his tone which tells a different story, “You heard all those bastards. We shut everyone down when we were in that damn world. None of them can come back from that. Everyone is long gone by now no matter what we want to do. Don’t say crap like that!”
Everyone. There’s no ambiguity about who he’s really talking about.
“But we have Kamukura, correct? You can do anything you put your mind to! We’ve all seen it.” Sonia suddenly lurches forwards, her tea spilling over the edge at the sudden movement but she doesn’t even look towards it, “You were designed to be able to do anything so surely you could at least try something. If anyone could it would be you!”
Her eyes are swimming as she stares into him. It’s not like she’s the coldest and most distant person he knows but he’s never once seen her cry. She’s never even been close. There’s something jarring about seeing the light dance in her eye, all her hope being directed towards him. It makes his skin crawl violently.
“Leave him alone Sonia.” Kazuichi grips onto his arm protectively, pulling him out of Sonia’s line of sight - or at least trying to considering they are all simply sat around the table, “You can’t put that kind of pressure on him. Even if it was possible, which it isn’t, its not fair to try and guilt him like that.”
“I am not wrong though, am I?” Sonia readjusts her gaze towards Fuyuhiko, refusing to back down, “Do you not agree we should give it a go if we can, Fuyuhiko?! We could bring them all back to us. They could be eating with us right now!”
Could he? He’s never even thought about it. Not even for a moment did his mind consider the possibility.
Ever since Naegi, Kirigiri, and the others told them it was impossible he’d written off the idea entirely. Should he have? He isn’t stupid, he is fully aware of what he was created to be. Collective knowledge placed in one person. Their ‘hope’. Funny, he’s finally living up to actually be the hope they designed him to be. He has the knowledge of everyone who created this machine so shouldn’t he be using that for something.
The stubborn part of him immediately bucks at the thought. Why should he do even attempt to do this? It’s not like these people deserve to be saved, they were happy doing this. He doesn’t even know them. Would the future foundation members even want him to do this? Does he even want to do it? What for? Who for?
“That’s not fair!” Kazuichi snaps. Izuru can practically see the vein bulging on his forehead. Teeth gritted as he hisses through them. Baring them at Sonia without missing a beat.
“Kamukura-”
“No! Sonia, drop it!”
Izuru closes his eyes tightly and reaches forward to grab Kazuichi’s notebook and pen. Avoiding everyone’s gaze he begins sketching on an empty page absentmindedly. His pen drifting slowly across the page. The lines don’t matter. The words around him don’t matter. Thoughts rattle through his mind as he drifts further and further away from the conversation.
Why is he even entertaining this idea? Sure, he might be the only person who stands a chance but that doesn’t mean its possible. Why waste time giving her - any of them - hope when there is none to be found? What’s the point? This isn’t his job, he can do whatever he wants to with his life.
“No matter what, I cannot drop it! I do not understand why none of you even want to try? We have known them for years. I know we have not exactly been close for a while now but ever since we began high school we have all been together. Perhaps Izuru is different because he barely worked beside us but,” her heads snaps between Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi now, “you must at least have some attachment to them from before all this!”
Sonia’s face is bright red, tears decorating her usually pristine and porcelain skin. They’re not even pretty tears, instead the tears are large and sloppy as they claw their way down and splatter harshly against the table below.
There is no dignity behind any of it and yet it’s the first time he feels himself recoil at the sight. His body tensing as the pit in his stomach twists. The sight of her crying like that stirring something foreign and incomprehensible deep inside of him. These last few days have been filled with new things and yet this feeling might be his least favourite so far…
“Where did all this come from?!” Kazuichi stands up so suddenly that the chair underneath him goes scattering off. Clattering loudly until it is laying askew on the floor.
The sound is enough to make both Sonia and Fuyuhiko flinch. While Fuyuhiko freezes like a deer in the headlights, holding his breath, Sonia lowers her head. Shrinking as he watches her breathing begin to stutter. The shimmer of her eyes still just about visible as the tears hold on for dear life.
For a moment all four of them remain like that. Frozen in time. Kazuichi still towers above them, his hands planted roughly on the table as he applies pressure to the surface. Every breath shaking raggedly.
Only Izuru remains sitting up straight. Refusing to flinch as he stares at the room around him. The only sign he has seen any of this at all his his own heartbeat hammering against him. Rippling throughout his entire body just like that.
Seconds drag on to what feels like eternity. And yet, no matter how long they stay like that, Izuru refuses to be the one to break the silence.
In the end it’s Fuyuhiko who crumbles first. His eye darkening for just a moment as his brows furrow together. Wrinkles taking over his forehead right as he turns to stare Sonia up and down. Something dark and vicious flickering behind his sharpened eye.
“Wait! You watched the fucking tapes, didn’t you?!”
All the pieces suddenly click into place. Hell, she basically told him she was planning to yesterday, he just didn't think she would be so fast... While he was off with Alter Ego she was off watching through all the footage. What else would she have been doing?
“Sonia, did you?” Kazuichi uncharacteristically lowers his voice. Legs crumbling underneath him as he leans his weight on the table to support him. The chair to far away to provide any kind of relief.
“Why are you all saying it like it is a bad thing? We all should have watched it! I do not see why I am the weird one here!” Sonia reaches up and aggressively dries her cheek with one sleeve. But with her eyes still churning out more tears it doesn’t do much other than make her cheek even more red.
“We can’t just believe anything they show us.” Kazuichi sighs and shuffles around the kitchen to grab a tissue. With a deep sigh he drops it down in front of her. There was no point though. Before she’s even wiped one cheek its already soaked through.
“You would understand if you watched it. I can assure you that they did not tamper with it at all. I remember everything from that place now. You would all remember too if you watched it!” As she pleads, her voice breaks. Cracking as her ususally composed words dissolve into wheezes. Breaths drowned out by the sounds of her own sobs.
She looks desperately around at each of them, searching for anyone to back her up and yet finding nothing. No one. Sure enough, as he feels her eyes reach him he avoids her gaze. Turning right back to the paper as he continues on with his mindless drawing. If he doesn’t look up he can pretend he isn’t listening to her. If he doesn’t see her eyes…
“If you did you would also want to do everything you could to save them! Their lives were wasted for nothing. Gundham, Mahiru, Ibuki, Nekomaru. Nagito…” He doesn’t dare look up but he can hear her pause for a moment and take in a breath, “Peko. Chiaki.”
Reflexively Izuru looks up, his heart stuttering for a moment as the pain radiates across his mind once more. If he didn’t know any better he would think they had done something to his mind to purposefully trigger this kind of response.
“I’m leaving.” Fuyuhiko growls and practically throws himself off his chair to storm out of the room. Yet as he leaves he is unable to hide the shimmering in his eyes. At least not from Izuru.
“But -” Sonia opens her mouth to speak but Kazuichi cuts her off by holding a single shaky hand up in front of her.
“Look, I think that’s enough for today. We just need…some time. Give us that at the very least. It’s a lot to consider.” Kazuichi sighs and his head falls into his hands. Slowly he massages his temples making small circles on either side of his head.
For a moment it takes him back to the last time they sat like this. At the end of a long day they would both sit together, huddled in the dark basement at the academy, covered in oil, grease and sweat. Nothing but the two of them alone. The only light coming from the TV they were using to keep track of Junko’s progress upstairs. In those dark silent moments Kazuichi would coax himself to sleep curled up on a mat on the floor, slowly rubbing his temples like a small child in the darkness.
Not even two years have passed and yet somehow Kazuichi has already aged years. Maybe even decades. That curled up child is long gone.
“Okay…okay…. I will not bring it up anymore but you must know my stance.” Sonia nods softly and gives the both the smallest bow.
“I’ll try to talk to Fuyuhiko…” Kazuichi grumbles and stands up, dragging Izuru up with him, “Come on, we all need a rest after that.”
As usual Kazuichi hauls him away, not even giving him space to make his own choices. Nothing new there then. But before Kazuichi can even get them past the door way they hear Sonia call out one final time.
“Kamukura. You left this.” He twists his head around to peer over his shoulder. In her out stretched hand is the notebook he’d been sketching in and she’s kept it open on the same page.
“Oh, it’s not mine. It’s Kazuichi’s so give it to him.”
“Fine.” She shifts it over to hold in front of Kazuichi instead. Before he can take it from her she pauses, keeping them all locked in that moment, “But before you both tell me to stop hoping and give up, look at this and then try and say it to me.”
She shoves the book into Kazuichi’s hands and then walks away out the front door and down the hallway into the depths of the building. While Kazuichi is busy studying the paper, Izuru’s eyes are unable to do anything but follow her disappearing form. Flinching ever so slightly as her door slams closed.
It’s only as Kazuichi reaches over and messily tries to tug at his sleeve that he looks over, “Dude, you drew this?”
Just like that, Kazuchi holds up the notebook for Izuru to see. It only takes a split second to tell what he is staring at. What his mind had brought onto the page. Once more Izuru finds himself staring at the girl from his dreams. Her galaga pin neatly clipped into her hair and her lips upturned in a gentle smile.
This time as his eyes meet her's, a name flutters to the forefront of his mind too. It's Chiaki Nanami staring back at him.
~~~
28/04 - 14:17
“Back again, Kamukura.” Kirigiri's now familiar voice is almost soothing at this point. As soothing as a voice can be by his estimations anyway. At this point he is simply surprised she hasn’t asked him to leave yet.
As usual she’s sat neatly behind the desk but this time a small cup of tea is set out next to her. It looks a little too much like the tea cups all of them were drinking out of earlier for his liking. While it is true that they are all in the same building so likely have the same china, he still suspects that isn’t all there is to it. Just how far has Sonia been going with all of this?
“Yes. Is there a problem with that?” He crosses his arms around his chest, the pressure digging into his ribs as he narrows his eyes.
It’s just become a routine. He knows full well there is nothing for him here and yet his busy feet practically drag him all the way here. Sucking him in as if something is magnetically tugging him closer and closer against his own will.
“No, although Makoto will be coming by at some point today so I will have to explain it to him. If he disapproves he will likely pull you out so keep that in mind.” She sips her tea delicately before setting it back down. The cup not making a sound as it makes contact with the desk this time.
“You take orders from him?”
“Yes. When it comes to this I do.”
He was pretty sure he remembered her and the blonde boy being higher ranked within the foundation when they first came here. Apparently that new seniority doesn’t change the dynamics they were used to from when they were in Hope’s Peak together, people are strange that way - even those he would think to be more logical.
“You trust his judgement?” He takes a single step forward, tensing his brow.
The boy might have been a pillar of their survival in the game but out here with a million other clashing personalities he’s surprised the boy doesn’t get washed away in the tide. The ultimate hope…
“Yes. What about you? Do you trust any of your classmates?” Kirigiri slowly stands up, eyes sharp and alert.
Hearing that question he can’t help but wonder how closely they have been watching the cameras. While she may not be saying anything explicitly, he knows how to read between the lines. That kind of subtly isn’t going to pull the wool over his eyes.
Still, he can barely hold back his snort as he shakes his head at her, “I already told you before, they aren’t my classmates. I barely know them.”
“I remember. That doesn’t answer my question.”
Trust is a funny word. Does he trust any of them? No. He doesn’t know if he’s ever trusted anyone. But it isn’t like he distrusts them. If anything they are insignificant. Apathy. It’s not like any of them could stop him or even interrupt him if he wanted to do something so he doesn’t waste the energy distrusting them. Why would he trust them? What have any of them done to earn that? He knows full well what they all did to their old friends and family.
“Would I be here if I did?”
“Fair enough.”
Neither of them exchange another word as she bring him back into the Neo World program once again. Their silence saying far more than words possibly could.
~~~
Izuru tilts his head up, staring up at the bright blue sky above him. Perfect and still, not a cloud in the sky - just like always. It might be silly to say but somehow its the part of this whole place that feels the most fake.
Sure, the giant monokuma factory, ancient looking hope’s peak academy and insane looking theme park island might all be weird but considering everything he went through with Junko it all pales in comparison. Clear skies and soft beaches though, now that’s something he’s never seen. Junko made a lot of things but never that.
In his mind he can picture this exact sky with rolling dark red skies and crashing waves. Anything would be better than this damn stillness. How long has it been since he saw the actual sky and not a virtual reality sky? It’s impossible to remember after all the time he’s spent in and out of reality. It must have been weeks by now. Everything is beginning to feel blurry.
Alter Ego had vanished hours ago, disappearing in the void or wherever it is that it goes to when Izuru isn’t around. Probably some backdoor program like the one Alter Ego took him to before. Without the tail that usually follows him around he’d been able to take his time wandering around each of the islands on his own with no voices interrupting his thoughts.
Sonia’s words and the drawing from this morning echo in his mind. Maybe he should just get it over with and go watch the tapes. It would save him a whole lot of time if nothing else.
No!
He slaps his cheeks and shakes his head. This is stupid. None of this even matters in the first place. He’s not even sure why he came here today.
Walking around this place did nothing, just like yesterday and the day before. It’s not like he even had hope as he arrived here. So far the only thing he achieved was the oddly freeing feeling as he stumbled about the place blindly. Perhaps, in another world, he could trick himself into thinking it was real and he truly was free. In a situation like this that might be the most the last remaining group of them can hope for.
By tuning out his mind and allowing his feet to lead the way he’d found himself subconsciously arriving at specific locations on the different islands. If his luck still stands then hopefully they were important places before but there is no way for him to actually be certain.
A diner on the second island. The hospital on the third island. The strange castle on the fourth island. A burned down warehouse on the fifth island. But they’d all come up with nothing. No matter how long he laid on the creaky hospital bed or how long he’d sat at the table in the diner, nothing triggered any kind of déjà vu. The only place he felt anything at all was in the warehouse, but even then it was nothing more than uncomfortable goosebumps wriggling across his skin. Nothing tangible enough to build off of. Nothing useful.
He grumbles to himself and flops down on the nearest sandy beach. The grains of sand spill around him, trickling into his hair and sticking to his skin but he doesn’t bother moving. Thankfully this will all be gone when he leaves to head back to the real world. For now, the rough feeling against his skin is almost nice. For the first time since he’s woken up here he’s relieved to not have his suits hanging onto him.
He might not have had a plan coming into this but now as he watches the sun begin to dip in the sky he can’t bring himself to move. With every moment that passes the sky grows darker and darker. He could swear he can see stars beginning to dot the canvas above.
Stars…when did he last see those? Has he ever seen stars…?
“Hajimeeee!” A soft noise rings out behind him. At once he jumps up, sand raining down around him. But no matter how much his eyes scan the world behind him, there’s no one there.
Was it just the wind? There shouldn’t be anyone else on this island except Alter Ego and that most certainly wasn’t its voice.
“Hajime! Come check this out!” Okay, there's no way that was the wind. But again there is no one around him. No one he can see anyway…
His eyes dart about anxiously, waiting to catch sight of anything. Anyone. This couldn’t be Alter Ego pulling a prank on him, could it? No, even if it was changing its voice it wouldn’t do that - pranking has never exactly seemed like it’s kind of thing. But what else could it be?
Trying to shake the thought, he tilts his head up once more, examining the now darkening night sky well above him. Just like that a memory flickers before his eyes. A night sky filled with explosions. Not explosions, fireworks. Actual fireworks for once. Yellow, red, orange, like flames licking at the darkness. Chasing away the shadows. Somehow its much more vibrant and bright than he’d expected fireworks to look. The knowledge implanted in his mind doesn’t do them justice.
“Hajimeeeee.” That name again. A promise screeching in the wind.
It’s only as he finally tears his eyes away from the sky and looks back down at the beach that he sees it. Surely he must be hallucinating but he could swear he can see…Sonia. Her crystal blue eyes reflecting the stars. Capturing their radiance as she gapes up at the sky. Her cheeks are bright pink with a look on her face he can only describe as…happy. Genuinely happy.
For a second his heart flutters and he subconciously begins to smile. She looks truly beautiful, bathed in the light of the fireworks crackling above and dressed up in a sleek pink kimono. It suits her far more than those heavy embellished ball gowns that always used to swallow her during her proclamations.
But then, the second the next firework cracks she’s gone and the light of the sparks dies with her. The sky is still and calm once again.
Great, so the two ‘maybe memories’ he’s gotten so far are Sonia under some fireworks and the room and face of this Chiaki girl. What useful information to have been granted…
He breathes in deeply and folds up his legs. His arms wrap around them as he stares out to see, pulling them as tightly as he can into his chest.
At some point he will need to head back but not right now. He will stay as long as Kirigiri and Naegi allow him to.
Chapter 5: 29th of April
Summary:
Izuru and Kazuichi finally begin exploring their little prison.
Chapter Text
29/04 - 09:00
“Fuyuhiko! Fuyuhikooooo!” A thundering knock smashes against the door down the hall, “Fuyuhiko, I’m not leaving until you get out here!” Kazuichi smashes his fist against the door once again.
“He’s going to be there a while…” Izuru sighs quietly enough that Kazuichi won't be able to hear him. Although given the volume of his yells, he probably doesn't need to try that hard.
Him and Sonia are curled up on either side of the couch, tea cups in one hand and a book in the other. It hadn’t exactly been the fastest start to the day - especially not when both Akane and Fuyuhiko have locked themselves away this time. Their already small group of survivors gets smaller and smaller by the day no matter how much Sonia and Kazuichi fight against it.
“Yes…I think so…” She mumbles, flicking to the next page casually.
Should they be helping him? Maybe. But he hasn’t asked for assistance yet so Izuru sees no reason to get up. They’re lucky he’s even out here with them when he could be enjoying his own space where he doesn’t need to worry about accidentally invading Sonia’s space. With Kazuichi practically smashing down every door there isn’t much peace and quiet to be found anywhere - not even in his own room.
“AKANE! You too! You need to come out and eat you idiots!” It’s almost pleasant hearing a different name being yelled for a change.
What is that saying again: insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results? Well if this isn’t insanity then Izuru doesn’t know what is. He’s not going to be the one to tell Kazuichi that though.
“Does he really think this is going to work?” He raises an eyebrow and looks over at Sonia, taking a sip of his tea.
“I think he does.” Sonia shakes her head, her lips pursed tightly, “I am just glad it is not only me trying to drag them out now.”
“Yeah, a whole lot of good it is doing.”
Four days in and they’re already falling apart. Even Naegi, Kirigiri and the others have given up now. Not one of them have dared cross over into their territory since the meeting the other day. At this point they might as well be on their own.
“If we keep trying eventually they will come out. It has to be driving them as mad as it is driving us.” Sonia forces a wobbly smile. Hopefully she’s better at lying to herself than she is at lying to him.
“You say that as if you aren’t aware how stubborn those two are.”
He might not have spent much time with Fuyuhiko and Akane but they aren’t exactly closed books. Like quick sand, the harder any of them try to drag them out, the deeper they will retreat. If anyone thought their situation these last few years was going to encourage Fuyuhiko and Akane of all people to be more open and less stubborn then they clearly weren’t paying attention. The rebellion inside them never left, now they just don’t have Junko pointing it in the direction she wants.
“What would you suggest then?” Sonia slams her book closed. Her voice is still as soft but the woman she once was certainly hasn’t gone away, “I have been trying to come up with ideas and you are surprisingly quite for the ultimate hope. Perhaps you can join in the effort.”
“No.”
“No?”
“Correct.” He sighs heavily, “There’s no point in any of this. They will come out when they want to and us forcing them out isn’t going to help their situation. I could go over now and pick their locks but then what will we do? They’re not doing any harm, sometimes people just want to be on their own.” He shrugs non-chalantly and turns back towards his book.
If he was in Akane and Fuyuhiko’s position he knows full well he would be barely refraining from smashing Kazuichi’s head through a wall. It’s not as if Fuyuhiko hasn’t been making an effort at least. He’ll willingly admit that Akane might have some issues they need to deal with (when hasn’t she?) but Fuyuhiko is just mourning the only way he knows how to. Well the only way that isn’t just straight up massacring people. If anything this is him being healthy.
“What people want and what is best for their health is not always the same thing. And when it comes to us, I would presume it is quite often the opposite.” Sonia meets his gaze, staring him down with raw determination.
It’s hard to fully disagree with her. He might have his issues but it isn’t possible for him to ignore the ultimate psychologist knowledge within his mind. You know its bad when the only person even mildly informed about mental health is the teenager who had his skull cut open and mental health knowledge surgically inserted into him. It’s not like any of them have been given the chance to develop coping strategies. But this approach isn’t exactly going to teach them that either.
“We have our freedom, its up to them how they spend it.”
“Well we can’t afford to lose anyone else.” The words are barely more than a whisper as she breathes them out. Anxiously speaking them into the world like that will solve anything…
Akane and Fuyuhiko might not be dead but that doesn’t mean they haven’t already been lost. Only time will tell at this point.
“I don’t know if we have the power to stop that Sonia. If they want to join us they will but forcing them isn’t goint to help.”
Sonia frowns, the wrinkles marring her normally pristine face. For a moment he thinks she’s watching him but her eyes are fixed on something over his shoulder. Her usually bright eyes have gone vacant. Still…
“Are you okay?” He narrows his eyes and turns to follow her gaze. There’s nothing there except the normal kitchen. The same kitchen they’ve had since the started living here. Not a hair out of place from its usual set up. It’s times like this when he begins to wish he had a talent for mind reading.
“Sonia?” He tentatively moves forward, stretching out his arm as if to shake her awake, “Sonia? Are you okay?” He withdraws his arm at the last moment, pulling away from any physical contact. Instead he leans in front of her eye line, waving dramatically. Its only then that he notices the single tear rolling down her cheek. “Sonia!” He raises his voice sternly, staring her down.
“Hmm…? Oh sorry.” She finally shakes her head and brushes the tear from her cheek with a swift and elegant movement. “Sorry, I need to leave.” She clears her throat and jumps up from the couch.
Her teacup is knocked aside, spilling the hot liquid all over the fabric, but that doesn’t stop her from running off. Tearing down the corridor past Kazuichi to lock herself away in her room just like the others. All he’s left with is an empty sofa and a steadily growing stain.
“Dude!” Kazuichi’s head pops around the door frame, “What the hell happened?! Sonia’s gone too now?”
There’s nothing he can do but shrug, “It appears so.” An empty couch sits in front of them both.
Kazuichi groans and throws his head back, stalking across the room to lean over him determinedly, “Well, what did you do to her?” As he speaks, his hands remain firmly planted on his hips. A stern expression etched into his face - or as stern an expression.
“What did I do? Why do you think I did something?” He scowls up at Kazuichi, chucking his book to one side.
Of course it has to be his fault. He might have been talking with her but that doesn’t instantly mean it was something he did or said. The human psyche is rarely that simple.
“Because you were the only other person in here!” Kazuchi rolls his eyes. Grumbling as if it's completely obvious but of course he's as close minded as ever.
“We were just talking about how pointless this all was. Then she went glassy eyed and began crying before running off.” He purses his lips and tucks his book down at his side. He wouldn’t be surprised if it was somehow related to those damn videos she was watching. Everything seems to be going back to their memories from that time period.
“What?! Dude seriously?!” Kazuichi finally backs off, before skipping over and launching himself onto the couch. By the time he flies forward its too late for Izuru to warn him. He lands directly on the wet patch of the couch, his clothes undoubtedly soaked with tea right about now.
“Ughhhhh. You could have warned me Izu.” Izu? He almost chokes at the horrific nickname.
Still, seemingly unaware of Izuru's reaction, Kazuichi groans and spins about in a weak attempt to assess the damage. It’s a good thing they’re all locked in here so it’s not like having a wet patch on your butt matters to anyone. Especially not when most those people are locked in their rooms right now.
“Well first, never call me that again. It’s Kamakura or Izuru if you really want to.” Kazuichi rolls his eyes but Izuru kicks out at him sharply. “And secondly, you didn’t exactly give me a chance to before you launched yourself at it. Maybe use your eyes for once.”
In deafeat Kazuichi flops down onto a different couch, letting his head fall back against it.
“Ugh, whatever. It’s just us now then. You better not ditch me too.”
“Fine…but I wanted to go and learn the building layout today so if you’re coming with me you better change those trousers.” Izuru looks Kazuichi up and down. The last thing he needs is Kazuichi complaining like a child the entire time.
“Fine, fine. Whatever you say. Don’t leave without me though.”
“I wouldn’t dare.”
Him and Kazuichi again. It seems he can never be rid of the boy. But for once, he’s not sure if that’s such a bad thing.
~~~
29/04 - 09:25
“So how come you’ve never explored this place. I thought you would have been the type to be straight on that” Kazuichi hovers right by Izuru's side as he carefully brings the teacups back to the kitchen sink and sets his book back on the shelf.
The tea is still seeping into the couch but he’s not some maid that’s here to clean up after Sonia. If she wants it clean then she can sort it out when she decides to come out of her room. Until then it’ll be fine once it’s dried out. He just needs to keep Kazuichi off it until then.
“I just had better things to do.”
Honestly, he hadn’t even really considered it. He had been too swept up in the Neo World Program that he had mostly written off the actual building they are in now. No matter what rooms they’ve set up, it doesn’t actually change anything anyway. Nevertheless he might as well take a look, what harm could that do?
“Hmmm. Fair enough.”
“What about you? You haven’t explored?” He tilts his head to the side, examining the mechanic.
His hands have slunk away into his pockets as he hunches over, waiting for Izuru to take charge and lead them forwards like normal. Its funny how quickly humans settle back into routines regardless of how much time has passed.
“Not much point. It’s easier staying here without exploring. I can pretend the area were allowed to travel in is bigger than it actually is if I never go out and actually look at it myself.” His tone gets more and more sombre with every word that passes.
“Hm.” He nods ever so slightly and straightens up as he leads the way out of the room…this is going to be a fun exploration trip.
It’s painfully obvious how little he’s seen of this place when he gets to the very first cross road, directly outside their main door. A now distant memory from before they got into those machines reminds him that the stairs to the entrance are to their right but everything else is a black void in his knowledge.
Even so, Kazuichi makes no complaints as Izuru turns left down the corridor. In fact quite the opposite. He falls into step behind Izuru, his footsteps just a second behind, never once daring to close the gap between them. Not even words breech the gap as they traipse through the empty corridor.
Given the fact that it's the future foundation who created this place he isn’t exactly surprised at the lack of decorations. That doesn’t make it any less drab and gloomy though. Fluorescent light and plain white walls really help them regain their sanity…
It’s a relief when they stumble upon the next door in the corridor. The pale brown isn’t much but at this point anything will do. That is until they swing open the door and the lights flick on.
Izuru freezes in the doorway, his face hardening subconsciously.
“What is this place?”
Kazuichi squeezes past him into the room. As usual personal space isn’t his forte. His shoulders thump into Izuru’s back, jolting him forward uncomfortably. But even Kazuichi can’t make him move one step further. He is forever rooted to this exact spot.
It’s like someone has reached into his mind and pulled out his first memory to display in front of him. Even the reek of bleach and antiseptic is the same. Each and every one of his senses screech and burn.
A dark and heavy pit writhes in his stomach. He doesn’t bother holding back his sneer. They might not be part of Hopes Peak anymore but even they can’t hide their roots.
Pure white as far as the eye can see. The walls, the floors, the ceilings. White, white, white. He never did understand the obsession, it just made every fleck of filth stand out amongst the perfect. Every foot print. Every strand of hair. Every fleck of blood. Never clean. Always one step away from perfect.
Kazuichi steps forward, his footsteps echoing ever so slightly as he circles the large metal gurney say askew in the middle of the room. It’s not like Kazuichi is the kind of person that can ever blend in but he’s never stood out this much. His shock of bright pink hair drowning everything else out. Something living and breathing amongst the stillness.
But even as he drifts around the room he pays no attention to the implements on the counters or the sparse furniture. No, he’s singularly focused on the same thing as Izuru. Izuru has seen more brain scans in his short life than most people would ever even imagine but even he raises an eyebrow at this. Every wall is pasted with scans, each one the tiniest fraction different to the last. The only thing separating it from Izuru's memories is the haphazard way they have all been blutacked to the wall. Hope's Peak would never have been that careless with their prized work.
He closes his eyes, only for a moment, and images of those staggering figures drowns his mind. Long white coats billowing as they swarmed around the room like flies on a corpse. Their mouths hidden away behind pristine white masks. Their voices still bark at him even as he pries his eyes open.
In an instant the figures melt away into the empty nothingness. Just like everything else in this place it is utterly deserted. For once he counts his blessings.
“What the hell is this dude?!” Kazuichi’s forehead is wrinkled as he spins around to face Izuru.
Izuru shifts his weight uncomfortably as he tries to pull his gaze away from the scans, “The others did mention they had a hospital in this place.”
“Then what about these?!” Kazuichi reaches out and rips the nearest one off the wall. The corners peel away, still clinging onto the wall for dead life. The rest of the scan hangs limply in Kazuichi's hand as he waves it about.
“Read the name on the corner.” He stiffly nods his head towards Kazuichi and the multitude of scans. Sure enough Kazuichi takes one look at it and stiffens, “They had to keep an eye on our brain health while we were strapped into that thing. Just normal procedural testing.”
“Is this…does this show his brain after he…” He looks between Izuru and the scan frantically.
Of course Izuru is supposed to know all the answers. Maybe if Kazuichi wasn’t waving it around like a mad man he would be able to somewhat read it and see if the person is brain dead or not. Maybe. If he tried.
“I don't know. Does it really matter? It could have been taken at any point. They probably took them daily, maybe even more often.” He doesn’t dare close his eyes but he spins around, putting the room squarely in his shadow, “Come on, there’s more to see and we probably shouldn’t mess with their stuff.”
Judging by the look of this place nothing has been touched since they all woke up so he doubts Kirigiri or the others would give half a damn if a scan was moved but the sooner they leave this place behind the better. There’s nothing left for them here.
He doesn’t even bother waiting for Kazuichi. As soon as he steps away the door is freed and it slams shut behind him. He can open a door on his own, he'll live.
Sure enough, as Izuru moves to lean on the wall across the hallway, the door swings open once again for Kazuichi to slide through. He can just about catch a glimpse of the room behind him before the door seals once more. Everything is still and neat, just how they found it, with the exception of the scan which Kazuichi has left awkwardly in the middle of the gurney. That’s going to be an awkward conversation when one of the others sees it - that is assuming they haven’t already been watching them on the cameras this entire time. He has no idea when they’d find time for it but he’s not going to put it past them.
Just as the door thumps closed Kazuichi freezes, his brain finally catching up with him, “They aren’t going to be mad we went in there, are they?”
“Probably not. They told us we could explore and they haven’t locked the door.” He pushes up from the wall and takes a step closer, “Even if they were it doesn’t matter. There are plenty of other things for them to be mad about.”
Kazuichi doesn’t have a response to that.
Izuru’s feet take charge before his head. Where are they going? He has no idea. Only a single word rings in his mind. Away. Even so he keeps his face still and impassive. Kazuichi might be quiet but his presence is still heavy behind him. His footsteps thud in Izuru’s mind. His breathing echoes softly through the empty halls. Every shift of his arms and legs rustles ever so slightly. Always there.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Even as the corridor bends and they change direction to follow it, he can’t help by wonder if this hallway has gotten longer. Even though he can see the dead end up this path, they never seem to get any closer.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
He feels a single bead of sweat dribble down his forehead. It clings to his brow for dear life. Taunting him.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Every breath rattles his bones.
And then it stops…and Izuru goes stumbling forwards, a heavy weight pushed against his back. For a moment he stumbles, his legs slipping out from under him. But then, as if nothing had ever happened, the world rights itself and he’s still and steady once again.
“Are you okay?!” One of Kazuichi's calloused hand is still gripped tightly around his shoulder, “I'm so sorry, I didn’t realised you had stopped.”
As Izuru twists around he can see the boy biting hard into his bottom lip. His other hand is buried in his cloak of hair, rubbing ferociously across the back of his neck. Keeping his hand as steady as possible he reaches over and gently frees himself from Kazuichi's grip.
“I’m fine. I just saw a door so wanted to check it out.” He presses his lips together until he is sure they must have turned white.
He’s not sure if he subconsciously noticed and his feet stopped before his brain or if it was just a lucky coincidence but it seems to be convincing enough as Kazuichi breaks out into a smile. Well, the closest any of them have gotten since waking up in this place anyway.
“Nice one.” Kazuichi claps his back awkwardly, darting forward to grab the door handle. “What do you think it is this time?” Kazuichi snorts, his hand resting motionless on the handle.
“This is a stupid game.” He rolls his eyes.
Knowing this place it could be any number of things. A medical center, a library, an office, a server room, a supply room. Whats the point if even trying to guess?
Kazuichi’s shoulders sink ever so slightly, “Fine…”
But as he pulls down on the handle it rattles but stays firmly in place. Again. But it still refuses to budge. Hmmm…
“Did they lock it?” Kazuichi rattles the door once more for good luck.
“If they didn’t then they need to sort out the hinges.”
He bends down slightly to peer at the handle but theres no lock in sight. Just plain smooth steel all the way across. It’s not like he needs a lock to break through but he suspects that wouldn’t get a positive reaction from their gracious ‘hosts’. He’d be lying if he didn’t say it suddenly made the entire room one hundred times more appealing. The temptation of a locked door is just too tantalising.
He’s not the only one that feels that way. As they continue down the corridor Kazuchi decides to ponder every possible option. Apparently he ran out of reasonable ideas pretty early though as he barely comes up with five possibilities before he goes off the deep end.
“Maybe it’s where they have their creepy psycho murder room.” He claps his hands together and skips forward enthusiastically. Izuru is beginning to think he’s spent too much time as an Ultimate Despair…
“People don’t have psycho murder rooms. Who would they even murder?” Izuru rubs his forehead slowly.
“People don’t have creepy rooms filled with brain scans either!” Kazuichi spins around to fully face Izuru. He doesn’t even bother stopping walking, instead he deems it sensible to half-skip half-stumble backwards. His hands chop the air dramatically as if that somehow adds more weight to his insane arguments.
“They had a reason for the brain scans, they don’t gain anything by having a secret murder room.”
“Pft, you say that.”
“Because it’s true.” Izuru shakes his head rapidly. This is not what he signed up for today.
With Kazuichi blindly stumbling backwards Izuru has to take the reins once more. He gently nudges the boys shoulder as they get closer to the next door, slowly herding him in the right direction. Sure he might stumble a few steps past the door but there’s nothing more he can do to stop that.
“Okay, if not a murder room then it’s probably some kind of secret passageway. That seems like a very future foundation thing.” Kazuichi leans against the wall as Izuru swings open the next door.
“What seems like a very future foundation thing?” The voice is instantly recognisable by the innocent and cheery tone.
Naegi's smiling as usual. His eyes crinkle warming as he sits bathed in the warm lamp light. A fort of files surrounds him, hiding away everything beneath his neck. Even with his hair rustled and slightly darkening bags under his eyes he manages to look exactly the same as ever.
Looking around all he can see are bookshelves and filing cabinets as far as the eye can see. They stretch out deep into the room until the darkness swallows them. Apparently the rooms occupants didn’t think the overhead lights were neccesary - and why would they when they had the worlds softest lamps surrounding them.
On the opposite side of Naegi’s fort is anothe figure, the blonde tall boy from earlier. Byakuya. Although searching the archives of his own memory, his ast name Togami flutters to the forefront of his mind this time.
Somehow, despite his hair being perfectly styled and his skin as clear as ever, the sour look on his face makes him look even rougher than Naegi. Every part of his face is creased and tense. The light reflects off his glasses casting a glare across his face. It only adds the boys the distasteful look.
“Ummmm well, we found a locked door. We were just discussing what it could be leading to.” Kazuichi scratches the back of his neck as he shuffles into the room.
“Why are you trying to go through the doors anyway?” Togami scowls and lazily flips the page of his file. “What are you trying to find?” Togami’s eyes sharpen, staring daggers at each one of them in turn.
Kazuichi flinches back ever so slightly. Shimmying closer to Izuru as his breath catches in his throat. Fumbling with himself, “Um…”
“We’re just trying to get used to our new home.” Izuru snaps. Without hesitating for even a moment, he takes one step forward to put himself in front of Kazuichi and the others.
“Home.” The blonde boy snorts and raises one eye brow.
Clearing his throat, Naegi’s hand dart forward between the files to grip Togami’s sleeve gently. As soon as his hand makes contact Togami freezes. Even from all the way over here Izuru can see the vein popping in the middle of his forehead.
“Byakuya, leave it.” Naegi’s voice might be soft and sweet but that doesn’t stop him sounding like he’s chiding a misbehaving dog. He certainly has a tight rein on all his little lackeys. All they need now is a little collar to complete the image.
“Whatever.” Togami slams the file closed and slides out from the desk.
Every step is an elegant dance as he glides across the room towards the filing cabinet. Whatever file he was reading is still clutched tightly in his fist. Step by step he’s swallowed up into the darkness until they can no longer see him. Good riddance.
“Sorry about that,” Naegi clear his throat and scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, “You’re welcome to explore anywhere. Anything you need to feel more comfortable.” He offers a weak smile, shadows dancing across his face as he turns away from the light.
"Uh, thanks…” Izuru can’t see Kazuichi but he can hear the slight shuffling of his trousers as he shifts his weight from side to side.
“So does that mean you can unlock that door for us?” Izuru slowly stalks forward until he’s leaning over the desk. Pressing his hand into the wood as he lingers nearby.
From here he can just about read some of the titles on the files surrounding the desk. Sonia Nevermind. Kazuichi Souda. Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu. All of their names scattered about, open on the desk. And the stacked up files around him have an assortment of both familiar and unfamiliar names. Junko Enoshima. Peko Pekoyama. Chihiro Fujisaki. Yasuke Matsuda. Hiyoko Saionji. Each one branded with the same ugly logo. And right at the bottom of one of the other stacks he spots and name that stiffens his entire body.
Chiaki Nanami.
“Ummmmm…sorry…” The soft voice of Naegi snaps him to attention. At some point he must have stood up as he’s now upright directly in front of him. From here his clothes looked even more dishevelled. Wrinkles are practically burnt into his clothing and there’s a slightly stale scent of musty books seeping off of every fibre. How long has he been stuck in here? Kirigiri has been glued to the Neo World room since they arrived and now it seems Naegi has been cooped up in here. Have none of them even gone outside?
“What do you mean ‘sorry’?” Kazuichi drawls cautiously, narrowing his eyes. As he does so he begins to shuffle deeper into the room. Reclaiming his spot at Izuru's side.
“It’s just…”
“He means that he can’t let us through. It’s locked to keep us in here probably - either that or it’s where they keep all the things they don’t want us to find.” Izuru sighs and shakes his head.
It’s obvious. No matter how nice they are trying to come across there is no delusions about the truth of the matter. Hell, they even told them that on the first day here. They’re not exactly free people. They’re prisoners in a gilded cage.
“Ah…I see.” Kazuichi hums softly.
“Look, we want to help you and I’m sure some day we will work out a plan where you can freely go wherever you want but for now we have to keep things as they are… I hope you understand.” His smile wavers weakly. Pity seeps off of him in waves. It sends a shivers down his spine. Why is it always that look?
“Sure, sure…” Kazuichi bites back. His shoulders stiffen awkwardly as he shifts closer and closer to Izuru.
They hear Togami before they see him slink out from the darkness, “Leave them alone Makoto. They aren’t owed your explainations.”
“We’re not here to start an argument. We understand. We just wanted to look at the area around us.” He holds his head high.
He’s not letting Togami think he can just walk all over them. Regardless of the sitaution and the rules they have agreed to follow, they aren’t punching bags. If they really tried he doubts even these three would be able to stop them - especially since they get stronger and stronger with every passing day.
“I’m glad.” Naegi breaks into a forced smile, “You’re free to access this library if you want, there’s not much entertaining reading but it’s still open for any of you to come by.” They all pretend not to hear Togami snort to himself.
In this low lighting its hard to decipher any of the other files but if they’re anything like the ones on the desk then maybe they seem far more worthwhile than any of the books still stowed away in their ‘common room’. A treasure trove of the knowledge the future foundtion has gathered over the years.
“Thanks, we’re good for today though.” Kazuichi grips onto Izuru’s sleeve, pulling him out the room bit by bit. “Come on Izuru, we have other rooms to check out.”
He doesn’t bother arguing. As much as he might want to check out those files there’s no point when Togami is there glaring holes into the back of his head. At this point he has no idea if these guys ever leave their designated rooms - they always seem to be lurking somewhere - but even they have to sleep at some point. His chances are going to be better when he eventually finds that time. Eventually…
“Thanks for the talk. It was enlightening.” Izuru shakes off Kazuichi for a moment, giving the pair a short bow. Before he even rises he spins around and steps through the doorway.
“Kamakura.” Naegi’s voice calls out sternly but Izuru doesn’t turn around. The most he offers is his stillness as he listens quietly, “I would love to chat with you at some point, just the two of us.”
“Makoto you -” Togami tries to cut in with his steely sharp words but Naegi smothers them without wasting a breath, “I really do want to help you all. Kyoko has told me all about your search and I’m here to help in any way.”
Izuru doesn’t even bother replying. What is he supposed to say? What would the boy even be able to offer him other than trying to push him towards the videoes. No, he doesn’t need his help. He’s more than capable of handling his own mind for once in his life.
Even so he offers the slighest nod before slipping out of the door and sealing it behind him. Both him and Kazuichi take a few steps forward before stopping and turning to each other.
“Ughhhh….Is it bad if I say I still hate those guys?” Kazuichi growls.
For the first time a sharp laugh breaks out of his throat. His lips curl up as he stares at the pink haired boy next to him.
“What did I say?!” Kazuichi frowns, his eyes blown wide.
“Nothing.” He laughs again, the noise rattling through his chest awkwardly. He’s not even sure what he’s laughing at. It’s not like the future foundation had said anything unreasonable. Logically there’s no reason for them to have been bothered by their words. And yet hearing Kazuichi say that feels like a load lifted straight off of his shoulder.
“I still don’t like them either.” He breathes in deeply and shakes his head.
He’d be lying if he said he didn’t have some respect - maybe even some positive feelings - towards Kirigiri but that says nothing about the rest of them. In spite of everything, he finds little redeeming or interesting qualities about any of them.
“Not that it matters. We don’t need to like them. It’s not like they’re expecting us to.” If anything it would be against their nature to even entertain the idea of liking their unwanted prison warden.
With a mildly lighter feeling in their chests, they turn to examine the other side of the corridor and travel back to the other half of the building. And yet it seems like anything of any interest has long since been sealed away. The only other rooms they can get into are half empty offices and a decent sized gym that is covered in a thin layer of dust. Considering the building it is located in it’s surprisingly well populated with equipment. There might not be any high quality machinery but they’ve got a decent selection of treadmills, bikes, rowing machines and weight lifting equipment, along with a single tennis court. More than anything he struggles to see how Asahina never end up finding the gym since the corridors could hardly be considered hard to navigate.
However, even after searching the entire floor and trying ever single door they passed, they never found a single window or staircase. That is enough to answer the question of the locked door then. They have freedom alright, freedom to roam this single floor for the rest of time. How wonderful.
What else can they say though? They agreed to this. This is their grave to lie in.
After being coaxed into a game of tennis with Kazuichi, they both slowly wander back to their rooms. At least they made some progress, maybe not as much as they would have wanted but it’s better than nothing. At least that’s what he tells himself.
Eveything is still as quiet and empty when they return as they were when they left. The only differences are the two wet pans resting on the drying rack. A few beads of water still trickle down the edges, pooling on the cool counter top underneath. At least one of the three of them are eating. It’s a day full of settling apparently…
He barely even remembers what Kazuichi spoke about as Izuru pottered around the kitchen, quietly preparing a dish for them both. There’s not the greatest selection of foods to choose from but after spending years out in the chaos of the world these might as well be gourmet ingredients.
It’s only as he puts the finishing touches on the meal that he leans back and pauses. Has he ever done this before? While he might have a wide variety of cooking talents he’s never exactly had to use them; why even bother? And yet as he casually drifts around the kitchen piecing the ramen together he’s overwhelmed by a strange feeling. It’s not the same as the feeling of his dreams or of being in the Neo World Program and yet…it feels soft and warm. Quiet and calm.
It feels like home.
And for now that’s enough. That’s enough...
Chapter 6: 30th of April
Summary:
Naegi comes bearing a gift that leaves Izuru pondering...
Chapter Text
30/04 - 12:34
"Kamukura…?" Soft knocking ricochets around his room once more. At this point it’s practically become routine. Any hope of this place providing peace gone just like that.
Even so the sound still makes him flinch back violently. His head jerking backward into the headboard of his bed and the book he’d been reading jumps in his hands, nearly slipping out of his grip. The only positive part of all this is that he’s the only one in the room so at least no one else saw his reaction…
Taking a deep breath in, he tries to slowly release all the built up tension. Of course he recognises the voice at once - there is no way that is anyone’s voice except Naegi - but it does very little to ease the adrenaline still coursing through him. It sounds about right that the one time he tries to enjoy some quiet time on his own he’s interrupted. Days of being left alone and now Naegi can’t stay away. He should have expected this though after their encounter yesterday.
"Yes." He clears his throat and shifts himself so he can sit down casually on the edge of the bed. Maybe his stiff rigid position isn't the most casual looking but he can't bring himself to care. After all, it's just Naegi. Knowing the boy he probably wouldn’t even notice the difference.
Slowly the door of his room swings open and the small form of Naegi is visible. His smile is wobbly but the usual bright glow hangs around him. He looks somewhat better than he did yesterday. Well, better is subjective, but at least his hair has been freshly brushed and someone - most likely Kirigiri - has forced him into some fresh clothes. The bags under his eyes and slightly pale tinge to his skin haven’t gone anywhere though. Given the situation they’ve ended up in he suspects they aren’t going anywhere any time soon.
However, far more interesting than his appearance is the sleek black folder tucked under his arm. The same kind of file that Izuru had seen littered around him just the day before. It glimmers temptingly as the light catches on the shimmering logo.
Naegi hovers around the doorway shifting his weight from side to side. Izuru gives him a second, and then another, and then another but he refuses to budge. He doesn’t even examine the room. He just stands there. Staring.
"Are you going to come in?" Izuru sighs and readjusts his position, trying find any modicum of comfort.
"Oh, um, yes."
The boy shuffles slightly in, stopping still right next to the now closed door. Both hands now hold the folder in his lap. He doesn't dare move closer, even as Izuru sits at the edge of the bed.
Sighing, he looks the boy up and down. Just when he thinks he’s beginning to understand the boy this happens. It’s not like he’s seen the other boy very often - only a handful of times honestly - but he somehow seems more real, more human, now than ever before. Probably a strange revelation to have given who he is and who Naegi is . After watching him on a screen for so long it is somewhat interesting to get a proper look at the real thing.
He looks…young. Beyond the tiredness and stress, he’s still a teenager. How much younger is he than Izuru? A year? More? Less? That is if you can fully consider him younger than Izuru himself. He might have graduated from his hoodie and jeans but the slightly ill-fitting suit somehow just makes him look even younger.
Did Hajime look younger than this? He must have given how many years ago that was now…
"How are you doing?" Naegi asks as his fingers subconsciously play with the edges of the folder, "The doctors have all left now. It’s fully just me, Kyoko and Byakuya left with you here now..."
He shakes his head slowly. There's no fooling Izuru of all people. Not when his hands can’t keep still to save his life, "What did you come here for? What's in the folder?" He nods at it sharply, refusing to budge on this matter.
He considers tilting his head and leaning in closer to try and read the title but he holds himself back. He can keep his curiosity under control for a few minutes at the very least.
"We found this in the files from Hope's Peak. It's a file about Hajime Hinata." As if taunting him, he grabs it with both hands and pulls it up to his chest. He might as well be cradling it as he slowly rubs the smooth edges.
A strange feeling churns in his stomach at the words. Jittery tingles spread up his spine. If he'd been given the chance to read this a few weeks ago he wouldn't have cared less. For some reason, now his hand subconsciously itches to reach forward and grab it as if that will magically summon it into his hand.
As it turns out, he doesn't need to. Naegi only now decides to venture further into the room. He still doesn't settle down comfortably like Sonia did, but he does move close enough to hand him the folder.
But even as he grasps the folder in his hands the feeling refuses to subside. It lingers and claws at him violently as if out for his blood. The skin in contact with the file burns, searing the memory into every ridge.
It's lighter than he'd have expected from it’s appearance. It takes a few seconds for his grip to readjust to the feathery thin disposition. Gently weighing up he wonders if there’s even any paper in this thing at all. It’s not like he was too far off, as he flicks it open he’s greeted with barely even five pages. Nothing at all. Typical for Hopes Peak Academy.
"And you're giving it to me." The pages flutter as he flicks their edge. He shifts his gaze to take in the other boy, “Can I read it?”
"Of course. You deserve the option to read it - even if you choose not to." Naegi’s face lights up brightly, “This is your story, I know it might not feel this way - maybe things will never be that way ever again - but it’s still part of your history. Maybe it will make things make more sense.”
With the way the other boy speaks he suspects that he isn’t the first one to read this file. Just the thought makes his skin crawl uncomfortably. It shouldn’t even matter, this isn’t exactly private and he isn’t the person that would have any say or opinion on the matter. And yet he can’t shake the feeling.
"I see."
Even as he mumbles, he's still transfixed by the sight of the pages flicking by. He can just about catch sight of random words and pictures littering the pages. Family. Diligent. Quiet. Detached. Driven. They flash by too fast on the pages for him to catch any more.
"I…" Naegi pauses for a moment and peers over his shoulder at the door, "I should probably head back as there's lots of work I need to do… Is there anything you need before I go?"
"No." He practically snaps, leaving zero room for hesitation.
"Okay. Well, let us know if you do need anything."
Thankfully that is enough of a hint though. With the exception of a small pause to look over Izuru, Naegi takes his leave. Abandoning Izuru alone with Hajime’s file. He could swear he can feel every fibre of the folder rubbing against the skin of his fingers.
Would this folder mention the strange galaga girl? He doubts it - it was made by Hopes Peak Academy after all. Anything of true importance would almost certainly be overlooked by them. He wouldn’t be surprised if this is just some weird medical summary of theirs given, after all what else would they even bother writing about.
Without any mental input from him, his hand flicks open the folder to reveal the paper within. It's almost like someone else's hand is guiding him. Yet he doesn't resist it. Not this time.
It's almost underwhelming seeing what is inside though. He isn't sure what he'd been expecting, it is a school report after all, but the first page is nothing more than trivial tick boxes and body measurements. Nevertheless he finds himself scanning through it as if he didn't know his own body. Drinking in every ounce of information and piecing together the mental image of the boy who used to stand in his place and of this body before Hope’s Peak rebuilt it.
However, if he was hoping the other pages were better he's sorely mistaken.
‘Hajime Hinata is an excellent student. He's one of the most driven and dedicated students in the class, always showing up to class at least ten minutes early to get extra work done. Although his grades aren't quite matching his drive there is no reason for concern so far. Extra paid tuition session have been recommended. With time he is believed to be a model reserve course student.’
Izuru scoffs. Of course. He can barely stand to read any of the saccharine drivel. It's no surprise a weak suck up like Hajime would be Hopes Peak’s ideal student.
Skipping over the rest of the praise laden first page, he delves deeper in. The tone changes almost immediately - the whiplash couldn't be stronger. Golden boy no more apparently.
The rest of the file appears to all be disciplinary notes. Ten minutes early becomes twenty minutes late. Quiet becomes reserved which eventually evolves into detached after the murder of two classmates. And after each disciplinary note the same two reasons are listed: lack of academic progress and family issues. Everything was slowly drifting further and further away.
By the time he closes the file he has barely learnt anything new. Certainly nothing useful to him. It seems Hajime couldn't even handle the reserve course… Truly pathetic.
Despite the sheer lack of anything of substance, he finds himself going back to the start and reading it again. And again. And again. Of course there's never anything new. His image of Hajime remains static but he still reads it.
He really needs to get out this room… Where can he go though? In the past he would simply walk through the ruined streets whenever the need over took him but that's not exactly possible right now. He's trapped right here. Is he supposed to just keep walking around the room exercising his muscles forever? There's not many places he can go so that limits it down at least.
Tucking the file away under the clothes in his draw, he shuffles out of his room and out towards the same place he always goes. And just like every other time, she's right there waiting for him.
"Hello again, Kamukura." He notices the book in her hand is different today. He's not surprised given how much time she must have to spend here.
"Are you here to use the program again?" She sets her book down to address him.
Is he? He never had any intention to go in yet here he is. What was he hoping for coming here? Sure, the Neo World Program seems like it's outside but that's not what he's craving.
"Not exactly. I was wondering if you had a rooftop or courtyard. Some place where I can go outside."
As soon as the words leave his mouth she freezes. Her brows tighten as she stares off at some distant point on the floor. Perfectly calculating all the options.
He’s not even sure why he asks it. Just yesterday they’d been all but told that they’re banned from leaving this floor, let alone going outside. Yet Naegi had said he could ask for anything he wants. Besides, Kirigiri had probably given more freedom than she was ever supposed to. If he never asks then he will never learn. What is the harm in at least asking?
She rubs her chin gently, not quite looking at him before opening her mouth to speak. He’s already bracing himself for the instant rejection but instead, "There's a rooftop I could take you to. I would have to accompany you while there though, of course."
Logically, he doesn't really know what she would be able to do to stop him. In a fight it's no competition - especially on a rooftop where they're separated from everyone. Even so, he stays quiet. Surely she's smart enough to already realise all this.
"That's fine."
There's no point arguing. He doesn't doubt that she'll just sit there quietly anyway. If he was going to have anyone accompany him he would rather it be her. For the first time in weeks he’ll be able to breath ‘fresh’ air and feel the wind on his face. He’ll be able to see a sky that isn’t made from 1’s and 0’s.
Without another word, she stands up tall and straight, book clutched tightly in her hand. He can see the books spine still completely perfect. Considering how gently she holding it he doubts it ever will be damaged.
With her large strides it doesn't take long for them to find their way to the very same locked door him and Kazuichi had stumbled across the other day. While there was no sign of a lock, she doesn’t hesitate before swiftly touching her pass to the handle as it clicks open. He shouldn't be surprised… Ahead of him he can see the staircase behind the door goes both up and down - probably all the way up and down the building. No wonder this had to be locked. Just getting out here instantly gives you access to the entire building. How many stair cases down until you get to the bottom floor? How far away is freedom?
She still doesn't say anything as they begin climbing the stairs. Without windows it's hard to tell how far they are from the roof. Judging by the outside when they arrived it could just be a flight or two, or it might be an entire marathons worth. Kirigiri’s steely expression makes it hard to tell which it is.
When they'd first gotten here they might as well have been blindfolded. The elevators they'd used never showed floor numbers and they were carted around to so many different parts of the building that it became hard to tell them all apart. There is no elevator here so that must be on the other side of the building.
Regardless, he follows her every step. The monotony of the motion is draining but it would take more than stairs to wind him at this point. Their pace isn't as fast as he'd like but it's better than having Kirigiri twist her ankle in her pristine heeled boots. It's not like there's any point in running up the stairs anyway - what else does he have to do with his day?
Despite that, it's a relief when they come to a stop. A black fire door stands in front of them temptingly, luring him closer. He'd only counted five flights of stairs so their rooms are near the top of the building. It would be harder for them to escape from a high floor like this but he doubts they chose the floor for that reason.
"Here you go." She pushes the door open and allows him through first.
As he passes he could swear he sees a minuscule smile on her face. He has to look twice to make sure he's not imagining it. Before he can be certain she's already stepped forward, closing the rooftop door behind her.
"I'll sit back here and read. Let me know when you're done and we'll go back." She hums and without another word elegantly takes a seat on the floor right next to the door. He tries to nod in acknowledgement but she's already buried in her book once again.
Putting her behind him, he approaches the edge of the roof. For the first time in days - weeks really - fresh air is hitting his skin. He'd forgotten how great this feels. The sharp cool wind prickles and he can smell the briney tinge of the sea being carried with it. The cold biting breeze nips at his skin now he has no suit jacket to provide a barrier. Even if he had one he wouldn’t want it now. Not when his mind feels more awake and alive than it has in weeks, maybe even months.
It takes him back years to the first time he ever went outside. After months locked up in the basement the first taste of fresh air felt like life being breathed into him. The taste of something other than sweat and humidity. Of course the feeling hadn't lasted but in the moment he truly had felt it.
Maybe it's the height of the building or just the proximity to the ocean beyond - most likely a combination of both - but the wind is fiercer here than he's ever experienced before. It's fortunate he has good balance because if he didn't he'd almost certainly be blown back.
His long black hair billows behind him almost like a sail. It's never really bothered him before but he finds himself wishing he'd tied it up properly before coming up here. He knew he should have just kept his hair tie around his wrist at all times.
It's a little better when he takes a seat on the edge of the roof. His hair is still freely trailing behind him but the cold air on his scalp isn’t the worst. He can close his eyes and pretend hes back on top of the Hopes Peak academy building, watching the chaos unfold beneath him again. With his legs dangling over the edge he can peer down at the island below him. It was never a large island but it looks like nothing from up here. It only barely looks bigger than the distant islands dotted around on the horizon.
It's not hard to transpose images of the island he's seen in the Neo World Program onto the scenery below. Of course the trees in there are vivid green and full of life compared to their counterparts here, but there's no way anyone could avoid seeing the similarities. When his eyes close he can imagine he's down there, surrounded by the same bright trees from the Neo World program. Colours and sun light bathing around him. Drowning him amongst the comforting heat.
While he sits there with his eyes closed, he could swear he can hear something. Someone calling his name. No, not his name, it's someone calling for Hajime. Their low voice is somehow both cheerful and malicious at the same time. A patronising call. He's heard that voice before - he has to have - but every time he chases after the answer it runs away from him.
It's not just that voice either. A whole symphony has joined in. They crash against his ears, each tearing at each other in a desperate fight for his attention.
"Come on Hajime. We still have two laps left of our run. Or do you need to stop?"
"Whatever happens, I'll believe in you."
"Is that all you've got! Give it your all!"
"I will not allow you to die without my permission."
"Hajimeeeee! You gotta play louder than that!"
He can't make heads or tails of any of them. There's no doubt that he's heard all those voices before but they all blend into one unfamiliar, messy ball of noise. And yet just the thought of him make his chest hum softly. The warm glow of something deep within him setting alight.
His eyes snap open and they all fall silent. Nothing more than echoes of memories are left behind. Even those memories are being chased away. He can barely cling to the trails of them. Once again he’s just chasing shadows. Is this doomed to be the rest of his life? Clawing desperately at something that is long gone? Waiting pointlessly.
As overwhelming as the sound had been, their absence is somehow even more so. However when he screws his eyes closed again there's nothing. No matter how many times he attempts to drag them back, they're well and truly gone. A soft warm feeling is left in their wake though.
He tries to look down at the island below again but there's no pull of familiarity. At least nothing beyond his own memories. Rolling darkness as far as the eye can see. The crash of waves against the rocky shoreline. The murky water stretching out beyond the horizon.
Was that somehow Hajime's memories? There's no other explanation for them but that somehow feels wrong. Hadn't the file said he was reserved and detached? Those voices didn't exactly give that impression. He should know not to rely on anything made by Hopes Peak by now though. Maybe this was before that though. Back when he was still the ‘diligent’ student showing up far too early for a school that didn’t care.
But why would they come back now? Why here of all places? He's supposed to know everything about the mind and psychology - he was literally made for it - and yet he can't think of a single answer. What is the point of these talents if he can't use them when he needs to?!
Sat here he brings the file up again and stares at the words once more. He tries to picture the boy from these words in the world around him. He tries to see him in the snaps of memories bouncing around in his mind but there is nothing. Just a distant silhouette hovering over him silently. Useless…
He's not sure how long he sits there, watching the horizon. No matter how long he sits there, the flashes from before are gone. After a while he's forgotten why hes even trying. Any of that lingering warmth has dissipated.
Eventually, with his arms growing goosebumps and his body growing stiff, they head back down in silence. The others are still no where to be seen and Kirigiri disappears in the blink of an eye. He's left alone in his room all over again. Alone with nothing but words and noises ringing in his mind and the taste of freedom on his lips.
Chapter 7: 1st of May
Summary:
Memories and stories are beginning to be thrown at Hajime
Chapter Text
Once again the crackle of flames fills his mind. Overpowering everything else. He’s all too familiar with the pungent sting of smoke. The smell alone has already seeped into his cells. Perforating every part of him. Is this ever going to stop?
However, this time there is no sign of life at all. No people reaching out to him. No screams. No finger nails. Just the orange dance of flames from all sides and the soft smell of metal in the air, only barely discernible over the smell of smoke.
He knows where this is.
He knows this place.
His dark eyes take in the crumbling stone and shattered walls that linger just beyond the flames. Littering the landscape once more, bring him right back to this night. Tokyo crumbling to dust all around him. The once vast world closing in more and more with every passing second.
Over the sound of crackling flames he can just about hear the stone cracking underfoot as he tries to back away from the scene. Yet even now, he doesn't dare look down though. There is no time to. Not when he's too preoccupied with what he already knows is beyond those flames. Hiding amongst the rubble.
"Why?" The words whisper in the wind as the flames slowly begin to die down. For a moment he tries to delude himself by pretending it's nothing more than the strange sounds of the wind calling. The false hopes don't stop the churning of his stomach though.
"Why?" It's the child's voice again. That droning whining high pitched drivel he hated so much. It's been years since he last heard those words being spoken but he remembers the voice like it was just yesterday.
The flames crawl further back, revealing more of the shattered stone and brick around him. It's almost as if they're running away from him too. Recoiling before him as fast as they can.
"Mommy…?” The voice is louder this time. Somehow even more high pitched. Grating against him as he winces. Almost tripling over his own feet as they fumble over a loose stone. It's only then that his feet finally decide to freeze. Refusing to let him try to slip away once more.
With no flames to shield his view, the sight of her pierces through him once again. Her black hair splayed on the rocks and blood oozing out her mouth to drip on the rocks under her tiny body. Her chubby cheeks are pale under the thick layer of pink clotting on the skin. Her soft brown eyes shimmering slightly where the light of the flames hit them.
Is it normal for people to remember so much about a person's face? He doesn't know her name or anything about her, yet her very image is etched in his mind. Unable to be forgotten in spite of everything else that has left him.
"Be quiet." The words spill out of his mouth without him wanting them to.
This is just a memory playing over in his head. Just a broken record. A sliver of the past imprinting itself on his unconscious mind. Nothing more than a memory. What can a memory do?
"Please." Those dead lifeless eyes meet his own.
"I said, be quiet." The hiss that comes out his own mouth sends something dark writhing through his body.
"No!" The soft defiance only makes the darkness within him tighten violently. Squeezing his throat with everything it has.
"What?" Despite the way his body feels, the words slip out without any hesitation. Not even the slightest hitch audible within the words. Cool ice slithering out into the roaring world.
"Why did you hurt us?"
Why? What a dumb and basic question in this day and age. Is there ever a why anymore? No…he shakes his head clear as he bites down as hard as he can on his tongue. There is a reason and he knows it. The why always seems to be Junko.
Hands curl into fists at his side, knuckles clicking from the strain. For some reason the suit he's clad suddenly feels like it's full of ants. His overwhelming need to always be covered is the only thing that stops him from stripping down there and then. As he tries to focus on anything else he finds his eyes screwing closed on instinct and yet it does little to relieve the itchy, twitchy feeling that overwhelms him.
"Do not make me repeat myself. Be quiet." He takes a deep steady breath and tries to ignore the whiny child.
But despite the warning, the quiet is shattered once again but insufferable screeching. It might not be words but the ungodly cries are almost worse. Thankfully they don't last long. Before either of them can react a loud bang splits between them. A tiny thud and then everything is quiet. The eyes are lifeless once again.
~~~
01/05 - 06:54
Darkness wraps around him again. A comforting hug smothering him as he blinks his eyes blearily. Eyes struggling to adjust to the room as his head keeps thundering on drastically. Yet the more his eyes adjust, the more confused he is. Gone are the flames and bodies and rubble. Gone are the cries that claw at his ears. Instead all that swarms around his vision is the soft black of his assigned room. Just the empty around him swelling up once more.
Another dream? He rubs a quaking hand down his sweaty face. Izuru knows everything about dreams except how to stop them it seems. This sort of thing shouldn't be able to touch him, yet his hand still shakes and his blood thunders in his ears like a marching band.
Of course Hopes Peak couldn't even make him properly…
It's the sticky sheen all over his skin which eventually forces him to get up out of the bed. Laying there, feeling the filth of the facility slowly clinging to him, is enough to spread the shaking across his whole body. He has to purge this feeling by any means.
That is how he ends up boxed into the adjoined bathroom, his hand and head pressed up against the tiled wall. Scalding hot water slams into his back and races down every inch of his exposed skin. His usually tanned skin is rapidly turning bright red but he still doesn't move. The blistering heat slowly relieves the pressure building up inside his head.
During the tragedy he used to only ever shower under icy cold water - after all what was the real difference - but the appeal of the heat is hard to deny now he's stood here. Considering both times he has had a shower here, it's clear there is no competition. The heat purging all other thoughts. Steam smothering his mind.
If it wasn't for the sheer boredom, he could stay here for forever. At least right now the almost random pattern of water drops hitting him just about enough occupy his mind for a little while.
However, just like everything else, eventually the boredom wins out. The eternal victor. He pulls himself out of the waters path and into the surrounding ice. The sudden change has him racing for his towel and clothes in record time.
As he scrubs every trace of water off his body he catches sight of himself in the mirror. Sure enough, once more his hair is hanging their limply. Lacking volume as it sticks awkwardly to his skin, all elegance and structure gone for good. Flyaway strands of hair jut out randomly and imperfectly all over the place, shattering the image he had once held of himself. If it wasn’t for the eyes staring back at him and the soft scar that wraps around his skull, he would struggle to be able to identify himself.
Unconsciously, his hand drifts over to poke the scar itself ever so slightly. It's just a scar. It feels no different to every other time he's touched it, as invisible and pointless as ever. How infantile to be so drawn to it after all this time? If anything, he should be proud of it - it's what makes him him after all. Yet his raw and bright red finger still rubs over it carefully. Tracing every line with perfect precision.
He's relieved when the growling of his stomach cuts through the odd moment. His body as demanding as ever. Needy and desperate…
But, not wanting to linger in front of the steamy mirror, he grabs the same dull and repetitive clothes as always. Shrugging them on with ease now there are no buttons and detailing to deal with. There isn't much he can do with his damp hair so he simply pulls it into some semblance of a bun and leaves it at that. The heavy wet weight tugs down on the top of his head but at least it isn't dragging lifelessly behind him.
But when he finds his way to the communal area no one is there. No dirty plate or food are visible on the counters. Even the tea set Sonia seems to be attached to is missing from the kitchen. He’s not sure why he thought anyone would be. He didn’t see anyone yesterday so why would he be seeing them now? So much for Kazuichi not wanting him to leave…
For a moment he wonders what the boy is doing right now. Given the time probably sleeping. Did he bother leaving his room yesterday? Did anyone? He should be relieved, no annoying draining people sitting around and grating on his nerves. But instead his stomach churns at the lifeless sight before him. They're probably all in their rooms.
You know what, he should cook again. He did it before, why not do it again. If he wants food he doesn’t need anyone else to be here. He found himself food for years and he certainly didn’t need people to eat with then.
Trying to distract himself from the echoing of the room, he rifles through the cupboards carefully, searching every inch if each shelf. He’s not sure what he’s expecting, it’s not like new food is going to have magically appeared over night, but he still lets out a soft sigh. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking. Or maybe his brain really has short circuited.
Despite the countless recipes floating around in his mind, he simply grabs the nearest food. Eggs and toast are fine enough. Anything as long as it settles his stomach.
But as the eggs begun crackling on the hob a shaded figure appears in his mind. The slightly askew chefs hat. The bright red apron. Teruteru. As usual, the name consumes his mind at once. For moment his eyes scrunch shut and he's hit with the smell of succulent meat and foreign spices. But as soon as he opens his eyes again he's greeted by nothing more than his own thin and slowly burning egg.
More ghosts of the past.
Unlike the warm gentle feeling of cooking last time, this time the image doesn't leave his mind as he tries to shovel down the meager food he has plated up. He can still see the short boy filling up the empty room around him. He still remembers the sick deluded ultimate despair, but other memories of him lying on the beach in the sand suddenly flood his mind. Peaceful images of him stood over a plate of food in a kitchen. Moment where he almost looks normal. When he almost looks human.
Izuru only makes it halfway through his meal before he has to push it away to one side. The smell of meat is entirely imaginary but just the thought along with the sight of Teruteru is enough to completely upturn his stomach. Wringing it out for all he is worth. The rest of his food is better off in the bin than in his stomach…
Even with the food safely rotting away in the bin, he can still clearly visualise the chef in his mind. No amount of reminding that the boy is all but dead in the next room over can chase the image of him away. Another ghost to add to the lineup. It's most definitely starting to get annoying.
Perhaps that's why he turns and leaves the kitchen in the opposite direction of the assorted bedrooms. By this point he might as well be moving on autopilot he has gone here so many times. Although he knows for certain that he isn’t searching for Alter Ego or the Neo World Program, he's still just pulled in closer. Led along by the nose.
Maybe he just needs to see the bodies laying there unconscious…maybe his eyes just need to confirm for themselves to know they’re truly all gone forever.
But as soon as he rounds the doorway he's hit by a different sight to anything he was expecting. One of the occupied chambers has been opened, the bright green light spilling from within lighting up the room even more than normal.
Bathed in the glow is Sonia sat quietly on a chair beside the chamber. One of her hands is diligently moving across a notebook on her lap, clutching onto her pencil for dear life. The other is hidden behind the lid of the chamber but appears to be reaching inside the chamber itself.
After taking in the scene Izuru begins to prowl further in but she never once looks up. Soft golden hair has fallen out of it's neat style and drapes across her face, hiding her expression and perhaps shielding her vision.
The closer he gets the more he begins to notice a near silent hum that is barely avoiding being drowned out by the background chatter of all the machinery. At first it appears to be an energetic cheerful little tune but no matter how long he listens to it, he can't quite place it. Somehow it escapes him of all people. Yet the more he stands and listens, the more somber it sounds. Logically he knows that she isn't humming it any differently, but somehow it still sounds vastly different as his ears atune to the sound.
Not wanting to interrupt the humming, he tiptoes ever so slightly over to the hunched girl. Not too close but just enough to peer over her shoulder and get a better view of the inside of her notebook. It seems like some kind of sketch but it's too early in the process to really tell what it is yet.
"Oh, Ha - I mean, Kamukura. I did not expect to see you here." Sonia jumps back, almost tipping in her chair, as one hand flies to her chest. Pencil lost as it slips from her grip without a second thought. He is simply left with the sound of her breathy mutters as her other hand shakily presses the notebook closed before he can see anyone.
The humming has stopped now.
"What are you doing here?" He clears his throat and stands up straight, eyes narrowed. He is all too aware that he had no right to be asking and yet…
"I could ask you the same." She folds her arms tightly, trying to pin them down but it's too late at this point.
Nevertheless, she still shifts herself as far as the chair will let her to try and hide the body in the chamber from his view even though it’s a pointless endeavour. Nothing short of closing the chamber itself can shield the body from his eyes now.
At first he expects to see the soft crimson locks of Mahiru. He'd rarely left the country to examine affairs beyond Japan, but whenever he had see either of them they were never separated. Effectively Queen and handmaiden to every extent they could be.
However there's no trace of the freckles or colourful hair anywhere to be seen. No instead he sees none other than the floppy back and white streaked hair of Gundham Tanaka. He doesn't remember ever seeing the two in the same room beyond when the entire group gathered.
No, wait…
Burning pain stabs through his skull, sizzling along the lines of his scar. Images of Gundham and Sonia running around hand in hand flood his mind. Pictures of their grinning blushing faces. Memories of tears and bitter goodbyes. It's a far cry from the memories has has of either of them yet his addled mind clings to them with a death grip. Anything to prevent the warm bittersweet memories from slipping out his grasp again.
Mustering every last piece of dignity and composure he has, he maintains the cool mask covering his expression. He can't collapse in blinding pain in front of any of these people!
"I just needed to see them again." Sonia doesn't dare meet his eyes as she speaks. Blissfully unaware of any of the thoughts wrestling in his mind, "I understand what you and the others were saying but it is so hard to believe when they are still here and I can hear their heartbeats."
Searing heat still courses through his head, burning the tips of his ears. It's hard to hear Sonia's words through the hazy muffle building up around his head, let alone the flailing heartbeats of the bodies all around them. Sonia doesn't say anything else though - he can't see her lips move at least. She just shifts in her seat again to take Gundham's hand once more. Their hands still slip together perfectly, a mirror image of those memories poisoning his mind.
Cutting through the heat is a quiet sound again. The same soft humming song from before. It pierces through the veil scratching at it with full force determination. He no longer even bothers attempting to fight against it.
"You loved him?" He's not sure whats the point of asking. It might as well already be written all over her face. It echoes from the way a rogue finger gently strokes his cold, limp hand. She still clings to his hand though. And he still stares at the scene.
"Hmmm…maybe once I did." She mumbles softly. He's not going to bother correcting her though. He already knows after all.
Despite days having passed, his legs still ache under his own weight. Now would be a good time to leave - he has the perfect excuse reasoning - but he doesn't. Perhaps he should blame the nightmare for twisting him into knots but instead of leaving he approaches Kirigiri's desk and drags her chair over without a second thought. Setting it beside Sonia as he perches on the edge. Joining her in silence.
As he peers past Sonia at the form of Gundham, he's struck by how young he looks for the first time. Perhaps it's the lighting. Or maybe the malnutrition of being in this thing for so long. More likely than either of those, it is nothing more than the innocence of a rest away from Junko, despair, and everything else. Freedom from the biting shackles binding him for once.
If he didn't know better, he might be able to be fooled into thinking the boy was just sleeping. While it's a common analogue for death, it's the first time he's actually believed it. At first he'd thought Sonia was foolish to hold onto any thought of them still being alive, and while it's still a foolish hope, he can see why she might be lead to believe that now. Do all the others also look that innocent? No. He's not going to open up the other chambers and stare into those lifeless faces.
For a while Sonia doesn't say a thing. He doesn't either… The soft song Sonia had been humming returns to fill the empty silence and that's enough for them both. She draws in her notebook as he drinks in the sight of the boy in front of him. He tries to search the still face for any sign of the maniac he had once crossed paths with on the streets of Tokyo. Instead he's just watching a seemingly innocent teenage boy. Intruding on a stolen moment between what once was. He doesn't leave the room though - not when she hasn't asked him to leave yet. Not when he still hasn't seen her finished drawing.
Sonia is the first one to break their silence. Its been so long that the sound alone is enough to make his body tense awkwardly before he has a chance to prepare himself.
"It has been so long since I spent this much time with him."
Once again her pencil and notebook have been abandoned, but this time both hands cling to Gundham's. The notebook and pen perfectly balanced on her lap as she does so. It's as if he's somehow going to slip further away than he already has.
"I do not know how I could have gone that long without seeing him when being around him feels like this." Her voice hitches inelegantly. Gone is the sharp cool voice he'd grown accustomed to.
"Feels like what?"
"Like…like warmth…like safety…like homemade dinners. Not the ones made by the chefs but the ones my mother used to make back when I was very small." She sniffles out the last words.
For the first time he has absolutely no idea what she is talking about. Has the insanity finally hit her? Did the stress sink its claws into her for good? He knows of love and it's affliction on people - the biological urge driving reproduction - but warm food? Not so much. Even by a poets standard it doesn't exactly flow off the tongue.
Did Hajime ever love anyone? Certainly not. If so why would he want to become Izuru so pathetically and desperately? Or did the same illogical behaviour that separated Sonia and Gundham apply to Hajime too? He tries to imagine the boy from the files Naegi gave him falling in love but it just doesn't fit.
"That's a strange way to describe love." He sighs but leans closer to Sonia anyway.
"It is? My sincerest apologies. I suppose it always appeared normal to me." She stops for a moment and fully turns in her chair to face him, "You didn't feel that way with Junko?"
The question catches his breath in his throat. Why would she bring up her of all people? He most certainly doesn't associate her with any kind of safety or…warm food. Perhaps mild curiosity or uncertainty but nothing that…stable. He shouldn't really be surprised, he couldn't exactly love someone like Junko. Despite what she said over and over about Yasuke and Mukuro - even him on her bad days - he often wonders if she was even capable of love. Certainly not of the strange warm feelings Sonia seems to be describing.
"Of course not. I didn't love Junko." It feels reassuring to say the words out loud.
He didn't love Junko. He never did. She couldn't have ever deserved any affection from him. Certainly not whatever Sonia is describing as love. She only ever had the ability to bend him to her whims because he allowed her to. Yes, he allowed her. She was nothing more than another person with big dreams who fell short.
"I see. The same is true for us as well, you know."
"What do you mean?" He cocks his head to one side.
"For a long time it felt as though we loved her. That love kept us tethered as we helped carry out her vision for the world. Perhaps it is presumptive for me to speak on the others behalf but it is most certainly how I felt. Sitting here with him now, it feels like the cloud that was hanging over me has been lifted a little. Love wasn’t whatever we felt around her back then. Do you suppose the program wasn't as ineffective as we were lead to believe?" As she asks that her throat bobs. Her gaze lifting from Gundham just enough to peer at him from under her lashes.
All the while her finger taps the side of her thigh compulsively. Through the incessant movement he catches a glimpse of her chewed and deformed nails. The usual perfect manicure job has been torn apart in a matter of days. It's almost impressive.
"Maybe it wasn't." The reassurance at least settles her rogue tapping.
Face now bright and eyes wide, she begins babbling to no end about the boy asleep in front of them, "He was my first true friend, you know. He did not pay me any mind for the first month or two. Not until he found out I had horses and hounds back in Novoselic. He even allowed me to go to his house to learn his demon taming abilities!"
"It sounds like you were close."
For a split second her smile wobbles, but just as fast she recovers her composure again, "Yes, once upon a time. Unfortunately things have changed since that time." Despite the smile she's plastering on her face, it might as well not be there at all.
Izuru closes his eyes and tries to focus on his memory of Gundham. His nails dig into his palm as if he's trying to physically dig out the memories. Strangely enough, the more he pictures the strange black haired boy the more other memories begin coming back. Sonia and Gundham walking through strange brightly coloured halls, hand in hand. It sends a blinding pain through his head once again but he doesn't flinch away no matter how much it burns.
"I suppose." He takes a deep breath in and stares down at his hands. "Why don't you tell me a bit about them? What they were like before Junko?”
At once Sonia turns in her seat to fully face him. She begins blurting out a range of stories about everyone in the class at a rapid fire. At times he can barely make out the words she's saying, even so, he tries to imagine every word she says. Superimposing his limited knowledge of them all on top of these new disjointed stories being fed to him.
Tales of Kazuichi and Ibuki making - successfully and unsuccessfully - a collection of 'super ultra' electric guitars. Ones about how the girls snuck into Mikan’s room to keep her company when she fell sick with exhaustion. How they'd managed to narrowly avoid the surly security guard Sakakura. Tales of Nekomaru and Akane’s intense battles. Of when Nagito won every raffle prize at their festival despite never buying a single ticket. He certainly doesn't miss the fondness with which she recollects the time Gundhams animals broke free and ran amuck through the school.
All the while he leans back in his chair, quietly breathing them all in. Unlike all the other times memories of the past have been brought up, this time it seems to chase away the ache in his mind.
Then, all at once, the words stop entirely. Izuru’s eyed immediately flicker open as he searches Sonia's face but she's not looking at him. He starts to wonder if she ever was. No, instead she seems to be searching each of the sleeping bodies around them.
Despite his mind reaching forward and aching for any new information, he stays still and quiet. Unspoken words settle between them.
For a moment the hollow look in her eyes seems far too familiar. Flashes of someone else's memories. Someone else's tears and frustration. It all bleeds into this one moment. All into those two eyes.
And that's when she decides to speak.
"Did you ever…see Chiaki?" She still keep her head tilted away. As if terrified at the thought of seeing him as he sees her.
His throat constricts at the mere sound of that name. The visual of her tiny, shining, stupid hairpin under the bright light of the sun permeates his mind.
"Why are you asking?"
"It is just…" She pauses, biting down on her bottom lip. "Do you remember when I told you I watched the recordings the Neo World?"
With that he sighs deeply. Of course he’s not going to forget how poor of a decision that was. He hadn't expected any different. She's only human after all. A mere human that exists to simply be manipulated by everyone she comes across.
At first his fists tighten, but before he knows it they've fallen splayed open again. Those wide eyes. She isn't even trying to hide their soft glisten. It looks so much like…
It's not hard to see that the program has affected them all. She's not queen anymore. Just another mere human down here. Weak, and small, and truly hopeless for the first time in her life. It's pathetic. It's pitiable. But it's pathetic and pitiable in a different way to the grovelling woman who used to kneel at Junko's feet.
He's seen this look before. Not many times given the world cultivated by Hopes Peak and Junko, but he has seen it nonetheless. He never knew what it would be called but now he knows exactly what it is. It is humanity.
Slowly and deliberately, he gets up off the chair and walks to the other side of the chamber. From this angle he can't avoid seeing the small rise and fall of Gundhams chest. Beyond the pale skin, he can still see tinges of pink lingering at the edges of his skin.
"What did you see?"
"It is not what I saw, it is what I remembered. Everything that happened there came back to me all at once. It was rather strange to be honest."
With his eyes still kept on Gundham below him he can't see her face as she speaks, but he can hear every microvement. He can hear the hitch in her voice, the rustle of her clothes, the tapping if her fingernails against one another.
"What does that have to do with Chiaki?"
"You - well Hajime I suppose - was very close with Chiaki while we were in there. It seemed to me as if he would wish to remember her, even though we have left that place." She barely manages to squeeze out the last words. It comes out slowly - putting it off as long as humanly possible.
Its only now that he looks up at her only to find that she's still watching him. Not even pretending to back off. Her eyes still glisten but they look sharper somehow. Focused on the present and no longer drifting in the waters of the past.
His hands unconsciously grip around the edge of the chamber. "I'm sure there are a great many things he'd want to remember." He takes a shuddering breath in. A cold chill runs down his spine but clenching the chamber tighter seems to be enough to chase the feeling away.
"One would assume."
Before he knows it she's gotten up as well and is stood opposite him. One porcelain hand reaches across the space between them.
Immediately his body braces itself. Every inch of himself tenses, ready for cold harsh skin to press against his, but instead he finds warmth. Her hand is soft. The skin unbroken and perfect. Not only is there no scarred ridges, he can't even feel a callous. However, he imagines that if he were to bend down and smell the skin he'd catch the unmistakable tang of metal. He doubts she'd appreciate that though.
A rogue finger brushes his hand delicately as she speaks, "I did not realise what Hopes Peak did to you in the past. I simply assumed that you were like Junko. You both seemed so close back then." Nothing in her voice breaks this time.
"It doesn't bother me." He stands up straight, pushing off the edge of the chamber. Her hand is knocked off but she keeps it lightly resting where his hand had once been.
"The last few years of my life didn't bother me before either."
He steps back again. And again.
"I'm not you. I'm not Hajime." His voice is as still and steady as ever, but the only person he can't fool is himself. Not when he can feel every shifting twitch of his own heart. Although his arms are folded, hiding his hands, he could almost swear he still feels her gentle hand on top of his.
"I suppose not…" She retakes her seat behind her but it most certainly doesn't feel like a retreat.
Her ghostly presence lingers over him. It's just like Junko all over again, but he doesn't feel himself shrinking away from the phantom feeling. If anything, the weak part of his mind almost wants to reach back towards her. He doesn't move though. No, he stays rooted firmly.
"You never mentioned Chiaki in your previous stories." Words are the most he's willing to reach forwards with.
He's already seen how Chiaki's story ends, he started with her conclusion after all, but he brings it up anyway. Partially to distract himself from the moment, partially out of curiosity. It's hard to judge a story by the ending. Maybe understanding the girl still haunting his dreams will somehow chase her out of his mind for good.
"She died when Junko was making us into her servants. We watched it all happen… After that it does get a little difficult to talk about her." Her hands are now playing with the loose fabric of her clothes. Stretching out in reach of something. He clears his throat, eyes fixated on watching every movement of her hands.
"I know. I was with her in her last moments."
He doesn't know why he's bothering to tell her. If anything this would make her feel worse. It's the first time he's ever told anyone about the encounter. Even Junko never knew he'd seen the dying girl.
"I see. At least she wasn't alone, I suppose." The same fragile smile crosses Sonia's lips.
Company doesn't mean anything to the dying. How could it when you are about to lose everything? Even if it did, he doubts his presence was what she wanted. He's no fool, she was always reaching for Hajime.
Not meeting her gaze he walks around to take his seat again. This time he angles his body away from her, legs folding the opposite way. It doesn't make much of a difference but it's better this way.
"Could you tell me about her? She most likely wouldn't want to be remembered for her death alone." Not that it matters to her anymore…
"Of course!"
An hour passes. Then two. Izuru doesn't have to say a thing as she recounts countless tales of their lives at the academy. It almost sounds like a nice place - at least if he forgets everything he has every experienced at the place.
Pieces of Chiaki come into view. Eyes closed he pieces together his image of her beyond the blood, tears, and desperation. He doubts they’re anything more than his imagination. A fictitious image of the girl built from Sonia's memories. And yet even just those thoughts of her feel oddly soft. He doesn't even mind how much time is passing. It feels comfortable and quiet. It feels like peace.
He doesn't know how long they spend there. Their weakened legs grow numb from sitting but they don't dare break the moment. There are worse kinds of pain after all.
It's only when they both drag themselves back to their rooms and beds that he realises, neither Kirigiri nor the others ever came to the room.
Chapter 8: 2nd of May
Summary:
Izuru wakes up to the sound of someone else's screaming this time
Chapter Text
02/05 - 01:39
He wakes up to the sound of screaming. He's not even sure why because it isn't exactly loud screaming. The walls between them have dampened most of the sound until it's nothing more than a murmur in the air. Yet here he is, sat up in bed, listening to it.
He should try to go to sleep… This isn't something they'd want him to hear. He's intruding on their privacy… And yet he just sits there. Still not moving. Still not trying. Brow furrowing as he focuses more and more on the sound.
It's not like he's lived with many people before. In fact, Kazuichi might be the only person he's ever 'lived with' before - if you could call that living together anyway. Is there some kind of protocol for this situation? Being a good housemate must not be one of the talents Hope's Peak cultivated.
Minutes pass but still the screaming doesn't stop. Tickling at the edge of his mind. Squirming there relentlessly.
Sighing, he slides out of the bed. Wobbling slightly as he finds his balance gripping the edge of the mattress. If he's not going to lie down and sleep then he might as well go out there and help. While he's not sure what he will do, hopefully it will come to him when he gets there.
With a new found resolve, he pulls open the door to step into the corridor. However, as soon as it opens, he finds himself face to face with someone else. The sunken, shaking form of Akane is hovering in her own doorway. Her dishevelled hair is a matt of tangles that fall over parts of her face. At least that covers the sunken hollows of her cheeks somewhat. It had only been a few days since they last saw her but he is certain that she somehow looks more skeletal.
One of her feet had been over the threshold but as soon as she catches sight of him she retreats. Her fragile bones tremble like a new born foal as she clings to the door. But before he can say anything to her she's mustered up enough energy to slam the door closed. If he strains his ears he could swear he can hear her haggard pants pressed up against the door.
A strange feeling washes over him. He feels sick. Really sick. Not just like his stomach is churning but like bile is truly rising up his throat. She's been nothing but skin and bone as long as he's known her but a new image of her comes to mind now. He can see a version of Akane with muscle and fat. A version that's smiling and strong. He's never cared how close the girl walked to death before and yet now he wonders how they all let her get like this. Is this how Sonia always sees her?
Part of him wants to drag Akane out but he stops himself. She's never let anyone in before; why would this time be any different? Trying to force his way in wouldn't exactly help her in anyway. He should at least attempt to stay on track.
Shaking his head softly, he turns his attention to the room beside Akanes. The cries are still muffled but noticeably louder than they had been from his room. Out here there's no doubt they're coming from Fuyuhikos room.
He's not sure who he was expecting it to be - maybe Sonia considering her state yesterday - but Fuyuhiko certainly wasn't it. Would he even hear Izuru knocking? And even if he did, would he open the door? He takes a few steps forwards until his fist hovers over the door. There's only one way to find out. If he doesn't Izuru can just go back to bed.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Nothing changes. The muffled sounds of distress are no quieter or louder than before.
Peering over his shoulder he examines Sonia and Kazuichi’s doors but they're still unmoving. Were only Akane and him woken up? It isn't too strange all things considered and yet he finds himself waiting to see their doors creak open.
He tries again, slightly louder this time. But even with his louder knocks the room beyond remains unchanged. It's not as if he can knock much louder without accidentally breaking the door down.
He's about to turn around and go back to bed when he stops still. In a last ditch attempt he grips the door handle and pushes it in. Just like that, it swings open with zero resistance.
Wholly unprepared, he finds himself staring into the young Yakuza's room. It might as well be a carbon copy of Izurus own room. In fact, the only real difference is the slight metallic smell to the air in Fuyuhiko's room.
The boy is still tangled in his sheets, writhing on the thin bed. It's a miracle he hasn't strangled himself with them given how tightly they've twisted around him in his struggle. There isn't much light in the room but what little there is glistens in the thick sheen of sweat covering Fuyuhiko's exposed skin.
He's still not screaming at the top of his lungs or anything but Izuru still hastily closes the door behind him. It's not perfect but at least the others shouldn't wake if they hadn't already.
"Fuyuhiko?" He half calls and half whispers in the most non committal way possible. Even now Fuyuhiko's too lost in his dreams to hear.
There's only one choice left… He sighs before making a beeline towards the edge of the bed. He has to kneel down to get low enough, the coarse fibres of the carpet pressing against his knees. This is about when he starts to regret just life choices…
"Fuyuhiko." His hand comes to rest on the boys shoulder and he stops moving at once.
In one of the most pathetic displays he's seen, a hand shoots forward to try and grip his wrist. In a single fluid motion he pulls his hand out of the way. Fuyuhiko is left grasping at empty space.
"Fuyuhiko…are you awake?" He half whispers the words. A foreign softness enters his voice. A breath hanging in the still air between them.
Although not much is visible with the door now closed, he can see Fuyuhiko's hand shift to brush at the flop of hair now sticking to his forehead. A quiet groan. The shuffling of sheets as he shifts - slowed this time. Less of a battle, more of a stretch.
"Fuyuhiko?" He just keeps repeating the name. Almost as if he was chanting it.
"Hajime?" Fuyuhiko's voice cracks, "What's going on?"
Izuru can just about spot the boys eyes peeking out from under the crook of his arm. Still tightly sealed - although that doesnt really make much of a difference right now.
"You had a nightmare. I could hear you screaming from my room."
A groan. More shuffling. The solid form of Fuyuhiko twists away, shrinking in size. He's practically pressed up against the far wall now. The soggy blankets have been drawn up to cover as much of his body as possible. All that's left to see is the top of his head.
Another inaudible groan. Through the exhaustion and layers he can't tell if it's just a sound or an actual attempt at words.
"Do you need water?"
More muffled groans. Thankfully he can just about see the top of his head shaking. Looking at the blankets and bed it's an obvious lie but he doesn't get up. It's not like he's going to dehydrate. If he needs it he'll get up and get it.
Should he get up and leave now? He's done his part and woken him up. If it was him he's want the other person gone immediately. But this isn't him; this is Fuyuhiko. No matter what he said, Izuru could tell he didn't like being alone. So, despite his better judgement, he stays.
Minutes pass in the darkness. He finds himself counting every soft breath emanating from the pile next to him. He listens as the beats between them bit by bit grow longer and longer. His legs begin to ache with that all too familiar sting but he still doesn't bother moving.
Like a tortoise, he watches as Fuyuhikos small head slowly retreats from the bundle he'd been tucked in.
"I wasn't too loud…was I?" The groan sounds like that of a serial smoker but at least it's audible.
"No. I think Akane and I were the only ones who heard.
"Great…"
Clearing his throat he shifts his weight ever so slightly. It sends a new ripple of tingles down his tensed legs.
"Did you want to talk about it?" That's the right thing to say here? Right? All his knowledge says that people generally like talking about things like this with people…
Apparently the same can't be said about Fuyuhiko.
"Do you want to talk about yours?"
What's he supposed to say to that then? He settles for the safe choice and says nothing at all.
In the silence he could swear he can hear sniffling. Twisting his head to the side he sees Fuyuhiko, his cheek shining suspiciously in the dim light. Sure, it certainly could just be the sweat from earlier but he's pretty sure it's not that at all.
"I…" He opens his mouth but no words come out. Just fantastic.
How is he supposed to help Fuyuhiko of all people? He tries to think back to his interactions with Peko and Fuyuhiko before. They were always together so it isn't exactly hard to do. At the time he'd thought her affectionate fawning over him had been off putting but Fuyuhiko hadn't agreed.
Doing his best to mimic her he reaches forward to set his hand on the boys head. His thumb gently reaches down to brush against Fuyuhikos exposed forehead. Now every inch of his hand feels sticky and dirty but he keeps it there anyway. The damage has been done now.
Fuyuhiko stills under his hand, his eyes fluttering closed again. The only movement he dares to make is to reach up and lightly brush his cheek with the cuff of his t-shirt.
Is he thinking of Peko right now? It's a dumb question really - he must have been thinking about her constantly since he woke up. It's impossible to tell for sure while Fuyuhiko stays silent but he wonders if the dream was about her too. Has he been to see her in her chamber like Sonia or is he more aligned with Akane?
"Fucking nightmares are the worst…"
Izuru smiles and lets out a stifled chuckle. It isn't funny and he doesn't think Fuyuhiko intended it to be either but he laughs anyway. It feels warm and bubbly in his chest for a split moment. Then that feeling passes too.
"You're supposed to be a genius, right? Haven't you figured out a way to get rid of this shit yet?" Fuyuhiko turns his head towards Izuru slowly. It's enough to displace Izuru's hand but he doesn't bother readjusting instead soothing the side of the boy's head.
"There is a cure for nightmares but I don't think you would like it."
"Fucking try me." Fuyuhiko cranes his head to fully meet Izuru's gaze. He's almost taken aback by the softness and sincerity. It could just be a trick of the darkness but his skin looks pale, missing his signature pink cheeks.
"In the past lobotomies of a frontal lobe have been shown to cure patients of fear and nightmares. I doubt that is the solution you're looking for." He sighs and leans back, his hand pulling away and returning to his side.
Fuyuhiko frowns at him uncertainly but he still doesn't replace hand. Being so close to his weak and exposed head as he talks about this…it sends a chill down his body that he can't quite shake. Despite all his mutilations, his skull is still pristine. It probably isn't what he should be focusing on but he can feel the distinct lack.
"At this point…"
"Well if you find me some surgical tools in this place we can get to it." He mutters, his mind drifting back to the hospital room just a door or so down from here.
Fuyuhiko practically giggles. The soft melodic sound echoes through the room, lifting the darkness somewhat.
He’s almost certain the other boy is just joking but he refrains from mentioning the tools presence anyway. You can never be too safe…
"Maybe when we get out this fucking hell hole. For now we'll just have to live with them."
Despite the boys joking tone and weak smile, a sickly feeling overwhelms Izuru anyway. His own scar tingles and aches. It takes everything he has to not reach up and brush against the marred skin. With every passing second the ache grows stronger and stronger.
"Perhaps."
Thankfully Fuyuhiko seems none the wiser. He leans back against his pillow, sinking in even further. "Though if even a perfect human is stuck with nightmares what hope is there for the rest of us?"
"There's a limit to what Hopes Peak could accomplish." He flexes his fingers slightly.
He supposes he should be glad they didn't cut off his frontal lobe. It certainly feels like the kind of 'upgrade' they'd strive for. Anything they could cut away was up for grabs. The silver linings.
“Tell me about it. That place was a shit show from the start!” He spits the words out violently.
He probably shouldn’t be surprised to hear such disdain given where they’re both standing right now, yet it somehow feels like a weight has been lifted off his chest. In fact, he thinks this might be the first time he’s heard someone speak with such open hatred for it. He tries to reccount everything he knows about the boys past but it’s a relatively short list.
His mind is taken back to the library and files from the other day. Fuyuhikos name etched onto the side of one of the files. Just like that he could find out everything he needed to know. A few minutes of reading and everything would be clear. And yet the thought of going behind the boys back and reading through it without permission makes his stomach churn uncomfortably.
But despite his curiosity, he doesn’t ask. In turn, Fuyuhiko doesn’t ask him a thing either. Although they may not know the details they already know more than enough. And, for now, that’s all they need.
~~~
02/05 - 12:51
He wakes up in his own room. The memory of last night still hangs over him as he blinks up at the ceiling. He could swear his eyelids feel lighter than they normally do as he shakes off the light haze of sleep.
Not wanting to leave the warmth of the sheets just yet, he shuffles in the bed to get a good look at the clock on the wall. It’s already past twelve. Where did the entire day go?! Sure, he got up in the middle of the night but he didn’t spend that long with Fuyuhiko before going back to his own room and bed. Did he simply just sleep that long?
Sighing, he starts to drag himself out of bed. There might not actually be things to do here but spending this much of the day tucked away in here like this feels…uneasy. Like a ticking inside his chest. Like the inevitable slow draining of his life. Another thing he doubts Hope’s Peak was capable of fixing about the human body.
Like yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that, he grabs the same dull t-shirt and trousers from his draws. After his shower he stands by the mirror in the bathroom and slowly brushes out his hair just like every other day. Arduous monotony. Maybe he should try braiding it today… That would at least keep it slightly out of the way.
He uses his knuckles to claw softly at his face. Dragging down on the skin of his cheek as he stares himself down. Swallowing hard. Is this what life has been distilled too? He’d never had followed through with Junko's plot if he knew it would end up this dull this fast.
Releasing his cheeks he instead rubs his eyes lazily. Stretching out his aching limbs and steps out into the world beyond. By now walking about their ‘home’ feels like second nature. Every step already perfectly mapped out within his mind. While actually calling it home might still be going and bit too far, the familiarity is soothing at the very least.
While he may despise that sort of monotony, being rooted down here does have some upsides. It’s like a tiny chip has been broken off his guard. He can peek through the gaps and see the other side. It might be odd but not entirely unwanted.
As he steps through into the main room he’s greeted by Kazuichi sat cross legged on the floor. An array of metal scraps circle him, slowly closing in. For a second Izuru stares, trying to piece together whatever has been broken apart in his head. Based on the appearance of some of the parts it must have once been some kind of radio. He can’t think of anywhere they even stored a radio in this place but trust Kazuichi to be able to locate it even somewhere like this.
In the absence of proper tools he has resorted to grabbing the surgical tools from the hospital. They’re now littered amongst the other piece of metal and machinery, discarded wherever he was last using them. In his hand is a small metal cube that Kazuichi is prodding around.
Izuru doesn’t bother masking his footsteps as he approaches but apparently he doesn’t even need to try. Even as Izuru practically steps ontop of the chaos Kazuichi never looks up.
His bottom lip is caught between his teeth as he gnaws at it determinedly. His normally messy hair has been tightly packed into a messy bun with strands sticking out all over, a small scapel tucked behind his ear. He must say, he’s surprised neither Togami, Naegi or Kirigiri have an issue with this at all. Sure, going to the roof is a big deal but a despair ex-despair having a scalpel is fine?
“Kazuichi?” He crouches down at the other boys level, staring out at the scene before him, “Kazuichi?” After getting no reaction he cautiously reaches out and delicately taps the boys shoulder.
“Huh?!” Kazuichi flinches backwards, almost falling over despite being firmly sat down.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you.” Instinctively Izuru backs up, standing up and taking a few steps away from the damage. However the further Izuru moves away, the tighter Kazuichi's shoulders grow.
“Nah, it’s fine.” Kazuichi tries to wave it off casually but there's no way he could lie directly to Izuru’s face, “Did you need something?”
“No.” He shakes his head a little too fast, “I was just going to grab some food and saw you working here.”
“Ah, sorry. It's been ages since I was able to tinker with anything. I guess the urge took over.” He tries to force a chuckle but it peeters out before it even began.
Ah of course, stress working always was his approach. Apparently that’s still the case even when he doesn’t actually have something he needs to be working on.
Izuru nods ever so slightly but stays stuck to his spot. Maintaining the distance between them both as best he can.
“It's just something to keep me occupied y'know.” Kazuichi swallows hard, his breathing rate steadily growing faster and faster.
“No, I understand.” He gives it his best comforting tone but judging by the subtle twitching of Kazuichi’s hands he wasn’t successful.
“I swear I’m not crazy.” Kazuichi offers a wobbly smile and readjust his legs carefully.
Now that's a loaded statement. Not crazy. At this point there's no way he can believe that’s true of any of them - that is if it's true of anyone left in the world at all. Sanity is still a long distant dream for all of them.
“Yeah well that makes one of us then.” Izuru rubs the side of his head, “You didn’t happen to wake up last night, did you?” He asks tentatively. Trying not to give too much away as he does so. It’s probably best if he doesn't spill all of Fuyuhiko's issues.
“Last night?” He has to pause for a moment before answering, “No…not last night. Why?”
“No reason. I’m just being curious.”
“Are you sure? Nothing happened did it?” Kazuichi's brow tenses as he begins slowly leaning closer and closer. Ignoring all the pieces around him as he shimmies as closer as he can without actually hurting himself.
Izuru opens his mouth ready to instantly shut the question down but then he catches himself, “I actually saw Akane.”
“AKANE?!” Kazuichi jumps up like a fire has been lit underneath him, “She left her room?! How did she look?”
As if he’s completely forgotten everything that was going on before he storms forwards. All the carefully laid out parts go flying as his feet stamp through them recklessly.
He considered a few different ways the other boy would react but this wasn’t one of them. If only Akane could see this. She better be flattered…
“She didn’t exactly leave but she opened her door at least. She looked a bit of a state, I don’t think she’s eaten since waking up.”
Her skeletal form haunts his mind. Bones practically jutting out of her skin. How much longer could a body like that hold up. A day? A week? Akane might be a survivor but there’s only so far even she can push it.
“God dammit. She needs to eat!” Kazuichi growls, “Maybe we do need to drag her out and pin her down.”
Normally he’d immediately stamp out the idea - you can’t force someone to look after themselves when they aren’t willing to themselves - but at this point who knows. If she can be helped its certainly not from in there…
“Maybe…” He hums quietly, “Not right now though. You should probably talk to Sonia before you do anything.” If anyone would be up for force feeding Akane it would be her.
“Sonia? She hasn’t come out in days.” For just a moment his eyes drift off to something just behind Izuru. Fixated blankly as if there is anything of note at all. And then, just as quickly, he zones back in. His face softer than before as his breath stills in his throat.
“She’s been out and around the place. She was in the other room yesterday.” Izuru nods back towards the corridor, towards the roo. where the others are still laying.
For a moment he considers mentioning Gundham and the days before… He considers telling Kazuichi about the bright look in her eye as she recounted the stories of their youth, if nothing else then just to let him know she wasn’t like Akane - at least not yet. But instead he holds his tongue. He knows that it's illogical since Kazuichi undoubtedly already knows - Izuru was the only one who wasn’t a part of this group before - but repeating what she had told him in that dimly lit room still feels wrong. And maybe, just for a little while, he wants that moment to stay just between the two of them.
“I see…”
Izuru's hand instinctively moves to adjust his sleeve before he remembers his suits are long gone. All he’s left with is empty space as his hand fumbles. Reaching for something that is always just out of reach.
“Well if you come up with a plan then let me know.” He clears his throat softly and heads over towards the kitchen to grab any food that doesn’t need to be cooked. While he might be able to cook perfectly fine, he can't be bothered to go through all that hassle right now.
“Uh, sure. Where are you going?”
“I just need to stretch my legs. I might stick around in the library for a while too. There are a few things I wanted to check out.”
Unless he can convince Kirigiri to set him free again, walking these halls are probably the closest he’s going to get to ‘fresh air’. At least its something different after the monotony of their rooms.
“Okay…you should stick around for dinner tonight.” Kazuichis voice rings out softly as he bites down on his lip once again, “No offence to Miss Sonia but your cooking is so much better than hers.”
Cooking…he stiffens instantly but forces himself to nod. It’s not like cooking is actually a big deal, in fact he almost enjoyed it when he last did it with Kazuichi. One bad experience can’t make him stop forever. It probably would be nicer to eat somewhat decent food than whatever Sonia makes…if she comes out to make anything at all.
“I'll be back for dinner.”
And with that promise they part ways.
~~~
02/05 - 18:24
Izuru’s eyes burn in the dim lightning. Just like before the library is practically pitch black with the exception of a single lamp that sits on the desk at the very front of the room. In this level of darkness, even he has to stand here straining his eyes to catch a single word on the page. He doesn’t need to have medical talents to know this isn’t good for his body but that doesn’t stop him.
How long has he even been here? Without clocks or natural light to use as a reference its hard to make heads or tails of what’s going on anymore. All he has to rely on is his own internal clock but given the state of things at the moment he’s not sure he can trust that at all.
Nevertheless he keeps turning the pages, drinking in more and more information. Book by book he’s slowly moving around the room, pulling out ever file he comes across. He doesn’t even bother walking back to the desk before he cracks open the book, instead he just reads them standing up beside the bookcase.
While he can pretend he’s standing here instead of sitting at the desk by the light because it saves him a few precious seconds, the truth is that he can’t stand the prying eyes and scoffing of a certain someone. Even from over here he can see the sleek blonde hair of Togami as he pours over a book. Izuru has never caught him looking up from whatever he is reading but every time he looks down to focus he can feel the sharp eyes following him.
He's far from good company but he’s not attempted to say anything to Izuru yet so he'll consider that a win. As long as he can pretend the blonde isn’t here then it’s okay. He’s beginning to think if he wants to be in this room he’s going to have to take the boy with it. They never did find rooms for the Future Foundation members when they were exploring. Most likely they’re all a floor or two down - probably so Kazuichi can’t stab them with his scalpel in the middle of the night - but he likes to imagine them sleeping in these rooms that they never seem to leave.
Turning his back on Togami and the rest of the library, he begins leafing through the next file. So far there’s not been anything you could consider useful information but he files all the information away anyway.
Almost every file is covering old Hopes Peak students. The distant and cold files cataloging every ultimate that was ever dragged through the school. There’s something surreal about reading each one and hearing the stories behind the abilities stuffed into his body. The ultimate actress who developed her skills conning people on the streets for money to keep herself going. The ultimate footballer who trained every day for his entire life just to be good at a single sport. The ultimate gambler who built a life of lies to hide from the empty truth of her existence. Skills built up over years - lifetimes even - distilled into a single file.
It’s funny, he has all this talent and yet he can’t even comprehend spending years honing one single talent on its own. What would even be the purpose? An entire human life being dedicated to just one pursuit - or maybe that was just how Hopes Peak saw and recorded these people’s lives.
Nevertheless he files each one away in his brain. Their faces and stories seared into his memory for all time. Or at least until his brain gets messed with again, his mind adds unhelpfully.
But while most files are looking at ultimates, there are other ones scattered around amongst them all. As he flicks through he can read reports on projects going on at Hopes Peak or discussing future plans for the school. All of the collusion going on with the school, governments, and businesses are probably reported here in some file or another. It makes him wonder if his own project file is stored away here. Then again, if it was he would think Togami and the others would have found it before he revealed himself. No, the future foundation probably has that secret buried six foot underground.
Between all the student files and reports there are some files he skips over all together. They’re few and far between but he doesn’t dare touch a single one of them - no matter how curious he may be. The files for the rest of the despairs. Each one is neatly tucked away as if it had never been touched at all. Naegi is meticulous if nothing else.
While he doubts Naegi or the others would have an issue with him reading them since they haven’t been hidden away, he still doesn’t even think about looking at them. Even listening to the stories Sonia happily told him felt like an invasion. He can’t even imagine seeking out and dredging up those past files…
The only file that keeps singing to him from across the library is the glossy file of one Chiaki Nanami. Even though there is still only one lamp, the file is still somehow illuminated no matter how far away he moves through the room. Every word shimmering temptingly.
“Shouldn’t you be leaving Kamukura?” The cold voice of Togami vibrates through the room.
“Leaving.” His grip tightens around the folder of Miaya Gekkogahara.
“Yes. You're supposed to be eating with your friends tonight.” Togami sighs like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
It’s not like he doubted it before but at least now its confirmed they’re being monitored at all times. He would have thought that Togami would have better things to do with his time but apparently not.
“I’m glad to know my social life is of value to you Togami.” He slams the file closed and gently pushes it back into its designated spot on the shelf.
As he turns to head over to the entrance the lanky silhouette of Togami slides into the darkness, “Look, Makoto just messaged me that your friends are looking for you. Believe it or not but I’m not actually trying to kick you out.”
He considers rolling his eyes but instead he just gives other boy a stern nod. Civility will probably go further than provocation at this point.
Of course Kazuichi couldn’t just come over here to get him. He has no idea if they actually went to Naegi to ask for help or if he just saw them running about mindlessly and decided to step in. Either way, he told Kazuichi where he would be so there is no excuse.
But before he slips out of the room and heads back, he passes by the bookcase, pulling free his prize. Not even giving Togami a second look he strides from the room, the file tucked neatly under his arm. Protected and safe. He takes the lack of resistance from Togami as the boys blessing - it’s probably as close as he’s ever going to get - and makes his way back to his friends.
~~~
“Ah, Izuru! You’re here finally.” Kazuichi throws his hands up dramatically as Izuru steps in to join him and Sonia.
There is still no Akane or Fuyuhiko anywhere to be seen. He isn’t exactly shocked but after last night he thought it might not have been farfetched for Fuyuhiko at least to come creeping out. But no, it’s just him, Sonia and Kazuichi together forever apparently.
“I told you I would be in the library.” He gently lays the folder down on one of the counter tops and rests his arm on either side of his hips.
“But you were taking ages! We thought maybe Togami had gotten sick of you.” Sonia bites her nails, looking over to Kazuichi of all people for support.
To think they have such faith in him. After everything they think the ‘ultimate affluent progeny’ is going to be the one getting rid of him. Wonderful.
“Yeah, it’s been hours and hours. What were you even doing there.” Kazuichi scowls, folding his arms like a disappointed parent. At his side Sonia just nods ferociously, hanging off his every word.
He’s not sure what they want him to say. They might not always be the smartest but he thought even they would understand what he was doing if nothing else, “I was reading. There are lots of files so I just lost track of the time. You could have come and checked on me if you were really so worried.”
He narrows his eyes as the two of them share a quiet look, “Sonia was going to, but right when we were discussing it Naegi showed up to drop off some more food and he said he’d fetch you for us.”
Every sense in his body is scream that they’re both hiding something from him. While they don’t seem to be outright lying there is definitely something. By now he would have thought they would have learnt there is no point keeping secrets but apparently not. He knows all the dark and terrible things they have done so what would they need to hide from him?
As he glares at Kazuichi, Sonia takes advantage of the moment to slowly shuffle closer and closer. Drawing near to the counter so she can bend down low, tilting her head to try and get a better look at the folder that is still resting on the counter, “Who’s file did you get there?”
Without taking a moment to think he reaches forward and grabs a small tea towel that's resting on the counter near him. Before Sonia can get any closer he tosses it over the file with a casual flick. Hiding the writing away from her prying eyes.
Maybe it was the frustration acting out, or maybe he truly has succumbed to being completely illogical, either way he wants to keep it to himself for a little longer. If they’re allowed to hide things from him then he’s entitled to the same. Besides, knowing how Sonia is at the moment she would want to read it right now with both her and Kazuichi here. Maybe it’s selfish of him but he wants to read this on his own - at the least the first time - so he can have his own thoughts without having to hear Kazuichi and Sonia gushing about all their memories once more.
“No ones.” The words roll off his tongue casually, a stark constrast to his desperate motions, “Come on then, are we cooking food?” He glides around the room, gently tugging on Sonia and Kazuichi as he goes, sweeping them up towards the main kitchen area.
“We?” Kazuichi pulls himself free and looks uncertainly between Izuru and the kitchen counter. It's hard to tell in the lighting of this room but he could swear that Kazuichi turns ten shades paler.
“I'm not your personal chef. If I’m cooking then you’re cooking too.”
He rustles around in the draw until he finds the small stack of aprons he had spotted the first time they were cooking here. Without asking permission or waiting, he grabs three and throws one over Sonia and one over Kazuichi.
Sonia instantly begins glowing, her cheeks flushing as she breaks into a grin. Teeth sparkling as she bounces on the spot. By the time he’s wrangled the string over Kazuichi’s head she’s already tying it up and brushing down any creases. Unfortunately Kazuichi isn’t quite so cooperative.
“Get this off of me.” He fights hopelessly against Izuru’s grip on the fabric.
“If you want decent food then this is the price. I’m not just going to be a slave for you." He holds his head up high. It’s a reasonable price if you ask him. Kazuichi made it clear how much value there is in Izuru’s cooking so there’s no one to blame but him.
Taking control he yanks the apron out of Kazuichi’s hands and ties it neatly behind him. Only then does he bother putting on his own apron. Much like the rest of this place the aprons aren’t exactly interesting, plain white seems to be their running theme, but it doesn’t need to be interesting to be functional.
“I am excited to learn the art of cooking from a true expert! What will we be making?! Souffle? Macarons?” Sonai claps enthusastically.
Izuru quickly assess his two sous chefs for the evening. Kazuichi and Sonia. He’s seen Kazuichi working and it’s not like Sonia has a gift for the culinary arts…Perhaps she’s aiming her sights a little too high with those baking requests.
They sort through the ingredients Naegi dropped off and end up deciding on a more basic pasta dish. Perhaps a bit more of a settle than Sonia was hoping but the smartest people always know where to set their goal posts. Besides, he is pretty certain macarons and souffle don’t make for balanced meals.
It takes far longer than he could have imagined to piece together pasta and some sauce but Sonia and Kazuichi are smiling throughout so he assumes that’s a good sign if nothing else. When it comes time for them to sit down and eat they end up slumped in their chairs as Kazuichi’s stomach chatters to no end. Not a single one of them bothers even attempting to squeeze out a word as they shovel food into their mouths.
He'd expected both Kazuichi and Sonia to use this chance to chatter incessantly but that is barely even an after thought. By the time their plates are polished off and washed up, their eyes are all beginning to droop. Not one of them can hold back their yawns anymore.
He watches them both lazily rub their eyes as they stumble back to their rooms. But before leaving he scrapes out all the excess food onto two plates and sets each one in front of the doors of Fuyuhiko and Akane. Fingers crossed neither of them decide to step out without looking down…
Just before he leaves he pauses in front of Akane’s room, his mouth moving before his mind does, “Look, I’m pretty certain you’re listening to everything we’re saying from inside that room.” He clears his throat, trying to piece together words before they come spilling straight out of his mouth, “I know we never really knew each other. Outside our affliations with other people - and whatever happened in the Neoworld program - we are just strangers, but the others seem to actually care about you. We’ve all done equally bad things, if not worse, so nothing you did is unforgivable. If you don’t want to look after your body for yourself then maybe do it for them because I don’t know if they could handle you being gone too. They’re already on the edge.”
He clears his throat softly and shuffles away from the door. God he hopes no one else but Akane could hear that…
“That’s all I wanted to say.” He shifts about awakwardly, unsure if he should leave or not, “There’s food outside your door. We cooked it together so you should really try it and not let it go to waste. Have a good night.”
He could swear he hears slight movement behind the door but he doesn’t stay long enough to find out. He slips into his own room and leaves Akane to her own battle. He’s done enough for tonight.
Chapter 9: 3rd of May
Summary:
Waking up from yet another nightmare, Izuru finds himself making a choice he's not sure he can take back
Chapter Text
03/05 - 06:01
He's still shaking as he walks but he doesn't bother slowing down. Instead he speeds up. Gritting his teeth to keep them from chattering as he puts all his focus onto moving instead of thinking about the nightmare he just woke up from... If he can just move fast enough...
“Ah, Kamukura.” Kirigiri greets him without even needing to look up, “I was beginning to think I wasn’t going to see you here again.” She slowly closes her book and rocks back in her chair to regard him. Her eyes drink in ever aspect of his being as if it has been years and not days since she last saw him.
Of course she's here this time...
“If I had known you were missing me I would have come by much sooner.” He grumbles sarcastically but he doesnt let that slow him down.
Right now he doesn't have the time to waste with small talk as he beelines straight over to his pod. Legs twitching unstably as if he's going to fall at any moment, he's just moving too fast to let gravity take over. Not even waiting long enough for Kirigiri to get set up before he has grabbed onto the edge of the pod. Arms fumbling as he awkwarely hoists himself in, immersing himself once more in the bright green glow.
“Come on, lets get on with it.”
But instead of jumping into motion, Kirigiri remains there. Frozen by the computer as her eyes narrow. Eyes icicles that are directed straight at him, “Are you okay?”
If he hadn’t met Kirigiri before he might be tempted to think that was…concern…rippling off of her. How ironic. After the everything, the future foundations members are still sat here feeling concern for someone like him.
He can hear her approaching the pod cautiously, but he purposefully twists his face away from her. Staring determinedly at the the inside of the pod. It can’t fully hide his face but it’s the best he can manage given the situation.
“I’m fine. I’m just in a rush today.” He screws his eyes closed and presses his head even deeper down.
“Kamukura…”
Finally the last strand snaps. With a growl at the back if his throat, he gives in. Letting his eyes snap open right as he twists his face towards her dramatically. Nothing can ever just be simple can it?! Why can’t they just accept things and do what he says for once?!
Not caring what Kirigiri thinks, he sits bolt upright. Almost headbutting her as launches himself up, “I said to upload me. Neither of us are here to have a heartfelt chat. We’re both just here to experiment and see if this batshit insane plan of Naegi’s is going to work so why don’t you just get on with it.”
He can only imagine how his eyes must look right now. Bloodshot and surrounded by dark bags no doubt. But right now he couldn’t give less of a shit. Whatever makes her get on with the damn job will work.
For the first time, Kirigiri’s mask shatters. Pupils dilating as she leans ever so slightly backwards. It’s barely even a flinch but she can’t hide it from him. It only stands out more compared to her usual calm and cool demeanour. Although within a second she shrugs it off, sucking in a heavy breath, that isn't enough to make him forget.
“I don’t know what has gotten into you but remember I will pull you out the second I see you doing anything out of line. Keep whatever it is going on with you to yourself. Alter Ego doesn’t need to deal with this.”
He doesn’t need to say anything else to push her towards the console. As he lays back down in the pod he only just about see the top of her head as she leans over the console, her entire weight resting on her arms. which are either side of the console. Hiding her face as she begins working on the keyboard to send him back under.
“I hope you know what you’re doing Kamukura.” Those are the last words he hears before he succumbs to the darkness.
He always knows what he’s doing.
Although they did nothing different, even before his eyes are open he can tell that things are somehow different. It's not just the tickle against his body but the scent of fresh grass in the air.
Swelling around him.
Drowning everything else out.
Sure enough, as he opens his eyes it's not the usual beach that lays before him. No instead he’s been dropped off right on the middle island, surrounded by the grass and laying in the cold shade of the statue. A breeze sweeping over him as he lets out what feels like his first true breath.
After having actually been out in the real breeze again for the first time in weeks, he thought he would find this breeze more unrealistic. But, much to his surprise, it still feels as real as ever. Whenever he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath of the distant salt air he could pretend he was back in the real world. The longer he spends here, the harder it is to convince himself that this place isn't the real deal. Everything from the way from the blades of grass tickle his palms, to the cool ocean scent still lingering in the air even all the way over here.
“Kamukura…?” That soft timid voice he has become all too familiar with calls out to him tentatively, “Are you okay? What’s happened?”
Looking at him now its hard not to see its creator in every line of coding. Of course its not like he was ever under any delusions about who alter ego took its appearance from but somehow after reading the file for the real Fujisaki, he can see the boy in every breath and every motion.
“Nothing happened.” He rubs his eyes frantically and sits up, resting his head on his knees as he stabilises himself.
“Kamukura… I… I just…It’s….” Alter Ego stammers a few times before giving up completely.
And yet, even then, he remains perfectly silent. Staying right where he is while the AI takes a seat at Izuru’s side. Settling itself directly within Izuru’s personal space, only just leaving enough space between them so they aren’t physically touching.
There’s nothing but the distant sound of waves between them now. For just a few moments he can try to pretend he’s up on that rooftop again. If he closes his eyes he can imagine the red skies stretching out as far as the eye can see and the distant sight of the islands being swallowed up by the vastness of the oceans beyond.
“I know that given everything that has happened it doesn’t always feel that way, but I was built to be a program for helping with psychological needs. If there’s something you need to say then there’s no one better to come to right now.”
For a moment Alter Ego’s hand hovers over his elbow but it clearly thinks better of the action within a split second. Retracting it within the blink of an eye until the arm is wrapped tightly around its knees instead. Pulling itself close as if trying to make it even smaller than it already is.
“I didn’t come here to have a therapist.” He completely buries his face in his knees this time.
While he most certainly didn’t come here for that, he is still all too aware that is probably what he needs. It would be stupid to deny it given how he ended up here today. It's not even just him. All of them do, and that includes Togami, Kirigiri and Naegi. Hell, he challenges anyone to find a single person in the world right now for whom that isn’t true.
No, his plans for today are much more important than having someone to vent to.
“What did you come here for then?” Alter Ego asks softly, voice like that of a wounded deer. Thankfully it doesn't start crying at least.
“You mentioned before that Chiaki was here…right.” He raises his head ever so slightly. Just enough to monitor how Alter Ego reacts.
At once it frowns, eyebrows knitting together - its not a look that suits it's face honestly, “Yes, Chiaki was one of the observers.” As if mimicking Izuru, Alter Ego lays its head on its knees, eyes meeting Izuru’s.
He takes in a deep shuddering breath. This is stupid. It’s just Alter Ego, its trapped in here so it doesn’t matter what he says and asks in this place. It’s not like Sonia and Kazuichi will ever know…
But Kirigiri is undoubtedly listening in, his mind supplies unhelpfully. Kirigiri will keep her mouth shut…he hopes. When even he doesn’t really understand why he’s here, he doesn’t want other people jumping to conclusions. Is that too much to ask for?
“Is she still here? Could you rebuild her from the code?” He keeps his voice still and casual as he squeezes out the words. Not letting anything slip through the cracks.
He knows it a long shot - better than anyone else in this place he understands the coding for this place - but if he didn’t ask then he’s not sure he could ever put it out of his mind. Before coming here for the first time he’d assumed all of their data had been lost but it turns out it had been saved. As such is it really so out there that the AI’s code could still be tucked away somewhere.
“I…”
This time Alter Ego doesn’t pull back it's arm and Izuru doesn't do anything to stop it. He just sits there completely frozen, allowing its hand to splay across his arm. In spite of them being in the virtual world he can still feel the soft weight pressing against his skin. He had half been expecting Alter Ego to glitch straight through him but instead he feels the genetle warmth of skin holding onto him.
“I can’t bring back Chiaki or Usami, sorry. The only reason the rest of the students codes were saved was because Usami was protecting and sealing away the code right after they died. Chiaki died after Usami was destroyed so her code wasn't able to be fully purged by the system.” Alter Ego offers a smile but it’s utterly useless.
“But she was there, wasn’t she. At the end.” He bolts upright, pulling his arm free from Alter Ego’s reach finally as if he is finally snapping awake.
“Well - wait you - ?” Alter Ego flinches back, it's eyes blowing wide as cogs once more start to turn.
“Whatever. Forget I even asked.”
Heart still smashing against his ribs, he pushes himself upright. Carefully brushing down his clothes but this time there is no sand tumbling off. All he is left with is the tingling shake of his own hands. Pins and needles pinching the skin just beneath the surface.
He knew keeping any hope was pointless but the words still have the power to make his heart drop uncomfortably. Logic completely leaving him. All these questions bounce around in his mind, taunting him with the truth that will never get those answers. It is just a fact he’s going to have to accept.
Shaking his head he turns on his heel and begins walking towards the beach. Both hands are shoved deep in his pockets where Alter Ego can’t see them shake traitorously.
“Wait! Kamukura, you remember that?!” He can hear Alter Ego’s desperate footsteps as it tries to chase him down.
Yes he remembers, or at least he thinks he does.
That damned file must be that cause of all this. The source of his nightmare tonight at least. Even now as he stands here the images won’t stop spinning from before his eyes. A jumble of scenes threatening to burst against the inside of his skull. Trying to untangle them and parse out what is happening is a lost cause.
Chiaki hovering before him in the darkness, calling out those same words he’s heard echoing through his dreams. Its not just her surrounded by darkness though. He also sees her bathed in the sparkling light of the ocean. Her eyes match the waves perfectly. While he mouth is moving, he can never quite hear what she says. And other times he sees her grinning on a stage or bent over an arcade machine. And then there are the less pleasant ones. The images he remembers of her soaked through with her own blood. A panicked look of desperation as she runs down an unfamiliar hallway with a pink and white rabbit.
It's never more than flashes - still images of moments - but they send a shiver down his spine every time. Everytime he thinks they've faded another one crashes against his mind.
They could easily just be manufactured memories his brain has pieced together from all the dreams, stories, and information in the file. Nothing at all can back them up and yet every fibre of his being insists they are true. No matter how much he tells himself its his mind playing tricks on him, he can’t crush those thoughts.
“I don't know what I remember.” He answers honestly, folding his arms tightly around his chest to form a firm cage.
“Why don’t you tell me about what you remember? Maybe I can help you place the memories.”
“No.” He spits out the word a little too fast.
This doesn’t change anything. Whatever is going on in his head has to be sorted out on its own. He’s not relying on Sonia's stories, Naegi's video, or Alter Ego's explanations. If he’s ever going to sort the truth from the fiction then he needs to handle this himself.
“I just need some time to sort my head out. Don’t follow me.” He shakes his head and continues on his war path.
This time Alter Ego's footsteps are nowhere to be found. He is well and truly alone…By the time he finally decides to turn around, the AI is already long gone.
Unsure if where to begihimself finds himself wandering over towards the hotel where Chiaki's room was tucked away. So far it's the only thing in this damn place to really click so there has to be something there, right? He keeps his head down the entire way, not daring to look at this familiar and yet unfamiliar world. Not yet anyway.
When finally makes his way back to the first island and the beach side resort, he stares out at the long line of empty huts. He’s fully aware of what he came here for, but he can’t bring himself to move his feet. Not now he's standing here, staring the rooms down one by one.
These rooms…he remembers these rooms - and not just from the last time he was here. He could swear he remembers people being here. Their laughs still haunt the air around him. It’s like the puzzle pieces are just hanging right in front of him. The pieces desperately longing to be brought back together. To complete the picture finally.
Letting the feeling overtake him, he places a hand against the wall of the nearest hut and closes his eyes. As if running on pure instinct, his lungs heave and he feels the air ripple through his lungs. For the first time since he’s woken up, he turns off his mind. Instead of reaching forward towards the sounds and thoughts crashing through his mind he slides down until he’s sat on the edge of the pathway. Even though his shoes are still firmly laced on he lets them slide into the warm water below.
He’s not sure how long he sits there just breathing in the world around him. When he’s not thinking it’s like the entire world stops completely. It could have been minutes, it could have been hours, but all at once the flood gates have lifted and the mountain of water waiting behind comes crashing forwards.
“Hajimeeeee!”
“I already promised that I would not allow even one person to become a victim !”
“Hajime...you fiend...You are rather nice.”
“I...I want to go home! Right now!”
“If I’m alive I can still fight!”
An endless barrage crashes into him. Images - no memories - of countless scenes all hit him at once.
Akane and Nekomaru fighting beside the pool, their eletrifying smiles impossible to ignore despite the despair of the world around them. Hiyoko clinging desperately to Mahiru’s arm as the pair wandered around the pool side. Peko silently staring up at the night sky from the edge of the pathway. Her silver hair always did have a magical way of capturing the moonlights perfect glow. Nagito and Teruteru ferrying boxes of supplies to and from the old building tucked away beside the hotel.
With every ounce of his will he tried to pry his eyes open but, even as they snap open and the ‘real world’ filters in, the images remain. He can still see Ibuki running out of the hotel, her hair whipping around her with every step. He can musty old book smell of the Byakuya's room when he and Nagito had first stepped foot inside. The distinct sound of Jum-P chattering is impossible to chase away from his mind.
Clutching his head he reaches for the door to the hut and examines the room. He's not sure when he started standing the world sways before him once again. It feels like someone has taken an axe to the side of his head but he needs to see this. This was the entire damn point of his trip here. If he’s going to do the job then he’s going to do it right.
Sure enough, just like the last time he stepped into this room, he can see the tall arcade machine tucked into the corner. Wrappers are scattered all over the floor, dotted between a variety of different consoles that are all plugged into a single TV. The entire room reeks of Chiaki. Her memory imprinted on every possible surface.
He doesn’t even bother closing the door before storming over to the next room and yanking that door open too. Inside the blank camvas has been painted over with traditional japanese furniture. A single hotpot placed right in the middle. In the next samurai armour and swords. Then a bunch of guitars and sound amp littering every possible surface. Pictures lovingly pinned up on a corkboard.
Each room tells an entire story. Lives summarised in a single moment. He can hear each and every one of their voices calling out to him.
“Hajime!”
“Hajime!”
“Hajime!”
Is it just him or is the world starting to go dark? He tries to tilt his head up to examine the sky but he the higher he tilts his head the darker the world around him grows.
Stumbling through the darkness and still gripping onto his head, he follows his feet. Instincts fully overtake him as he finds himself navigating straight to a strange unfamiliar bed, throwing himself ontop of it. In his strange state it's all be can do bury his face into the covers, trying to smother out all the noises of people calling out for him.
As he lays there he’s enveloped by an oddly familiar smell. The gentle comforting scent of vanilla and cinnamon drapes over him, sealing away the rest of the world. Slowly he begins feeling everything else drift away but he just keeps breathing heavily into the covers. Drowning himself in the scent. The noises don’t get any quieter - he can still feel them pressing in on him from every side - but it’s like a blanket has been thrown over him.
Somewhere in the distance he can feel a hand pressing against his back but he simply scrunches his eyes closed and curls in on himself. He wants to turn back and yell at Ibuki, or Mikan, or whoever it is to leave him alone but his body doesn’t respond. He just lays there, head buried deep in the covers. If he lays here long enough then maybe they’ll go away.
“-Kamukura?!”
Wait. Kamukura? His eyes snap open as he jolts upright.
The entire world has melted away into green. Long lavender hair is draped in front of him, filling his vision. A small neat braid runs through it, swallowed up by the rest of the hair - consuming it whole. He’d never noticed that before…
For a split second everything is…quiet. The world has fallen away and only him and Kirigiri are left. All the voice and images have vanished. He could almost trick himself into believing that the everything was confined to that fake world.
Almost.
And then the voices begin again.
“I...want to believe in you.”
“Then...I'll make sure to specifically invite you the next time I perform.”
“This is a promise to return alive...together.”
“It's quite lonely to die alone...”
Each voice is accompanied by images of his friends faces. All of their hopes that they placed on him. Faces twisted in despair, not the kind of despair Junko put on them but a more visceral despair. But it’s not just despair, he can remember them all smiling. The sound of laughs flowing even in a sitaution like that. If he strained his ears he could hear the machines that are working at keeping each one of them alive churning away in the background. The last dregs of them still remaining.
“Kamukura, are you okay?” Kirigiri is watching him wide eyed. Her gloved hand is resting on his shoulder. He says resting but perhaps gripping would be a more accurate description.
He does his best to tune out the sounds of the memories burying him as he answers, “Why wouldn’t I be?” He maintains his usual cool crisp tone but they both know better than that.
“Because you curled up and stopped responding to any sounds or movements. Not to mention you’re bleeding.”
Her hand deftly moves towards the side of his head and swipes before he can react. And yet, he's embarrassed to admit, he doesn't even try to stop her. Not when his entire body is frozen to the spot. Bright neon pink glitters against the dull black of her leather glove. It’s not even just a smear; a thick layer has pooled on the material. Small droplets roll off the edge and dribble down into the pod.
It takes everything he has to keep his mind from spiralling at the mere sight. He crushes down each memory of his friends broken and shattered bodies with every ounce of his will. It’s like playing whack-a-mole. Every turn is lined with a thick coating of blood. Hiyoko dripping with blood, her skin pale and taut. Gundham pressed into the dirt, pink mixing slowly with the mud and his limbs each bent at awkward angles. Byakuya's blood soaking out onto the creaking wooden planks. Nagito painted in gore and horror. Chiaki -
“What does this mean Kamukura?” She stubbornly refuses to take her hand away. In fact she brings it even closer as if she’s going to wipe it back on his face at any second.
What does it mean? Nothing good...
He holds back his grimace though and bats her hand away so he can pull himself out of the pod, “It doesn’t mean anything. I just need to wash myself off.”
His legs swing over the edge but before they can make contact with the ground Kirigiri is right there again. Sharp nails dig into his shoulder as she pulls him back from the edge with all her strength.
“Don’t bother lying to me. We both know you aren’t the only one with a talent for reading people.” She scowls, tightening her grip further still, “Tell me, is this because you have gone in too many times or is it something else?” Despite her viscious grip, her voice is as steady and calm as ever.
“It’s…” He pauses for a moment before he is able to continue on, “It’s something else. I just need to sleep it off. I’m not in the habit of being suicidal so you don’t need to worry about my safety. If it was going to kill me then I wouldn’t be nearly as non-chalant about the whole situation.”
Its not much of a comfort but it’s the closest thing he can offer right now. Realistically there isn’t a thing he could say to ease her feelings so why even try? It’s not like he doesn’t know how bad this looks.
“That doesn’t make me feel any better Kamukura.”
“It wasn’t meant to.” He shoves past her, pulling himself out of the pod without a care in the world about whatever Kirigiri is doing. At this point what is she going to do to stop him? Even when he’s injured she is no match for him. Not really. If he wants to leave this room or even this building then he’s going to leave. It’s a matter of when, not if.
Still there is no covering up the fact that as soon as his legs hit the ground they shake pathetically. It takes him gripping onto the pod until his knuckles turn stark white to keep himself standing. But still he refuses to let himself collapse. He’s shown enough weakness for one day, after everything he deserves this one lucky break.
The vibrations travel all the way up his body from his legs, beating his brain around inside his skull. Each vibration frees more memories from their shackles. They bounce around inside his head, casting odd sihouttes into the world around him. It’s like the specters from the Neo World Program have been dragged through into reality with him. Each of their shadows are imprinted on the walls and they all call out the same name.
“Hajime!”
“Hajime?”
“Hajimeeeeee!”
Maybe he truly has lost his mind but he refuses to let a single fragment of that fear project onto his face. Instead he tightens his hold on the mask and wraps it tighter around himself. Unfortuantely, the calm facade isn’t exactly helped by the warm sticky blood he can feel trickling further and further down his face.
“Just because you’re not going to die that doesn’t mean you’re okay.” Kirigiri’s words echo around the room but she doesn’t make another move towards him inspite of how terrible he must look right now. Does she know how tangible her discomfort it right now? He can feel it radiating off of her in waves.
“You think I don’t know that?”
“I’m sure you do. I just hope it actually means something to you.”
Of all the people he was expecting to put up resistance to his attempt he wasn’t betting on it being her. Naegi maybe - he isn’t known to be the most logically functioning person - but not Kirigiri. Junko messed with her memories just like Neo World Program messed with theirs, if anyone in this world would understand this process it would be her and the others. And yet he’s never felt more of a rift between them which is certainly saying something given everything.
“This is something I have to go through. No medicine is going to fix this. I would have thought you of all people would be able to understand why. Don’t you remember what it was like when you were getting your memories back? My mind just needs to…” He stares at the snapshot of shadowy memories still prancing around within the darkened shadows, “…sort itself out.”
“It wasn’t like this for us.”
“Of course it wasn’t.” Nothing in the world ever is...
The walk between this room and his own bedroom can’t be more than 100 steps and yet it has somehow been dragged out into a full marathon. One foot in front of the other in front of the other in front of the other. Over and over and over.
The side of his head only gets warmer and warmer but he does his best to ignore the sensation. Shoving it down as deep as he can. For the first few times he did try to rub the side of his head clean but it doesn't take long for him to give up. The second it has been wiped away more rushes down to take its place. No amount of scrubbing is going to be enough so why even bother?
Instead of hearing the thump of his shoes on the carpet underfoot, every step is accompanied by the sounds of voices chattering in his mind. At this point he can’t even pick up words. Noise and feeling are the only things left. His heart flutters between warmth, horror, despair, joy and panic with every single beat.
He’s starting to wonder why he ever wanted these damn memories back in the first place. He was perfectly content and capable before this, and now he can barely even walk from one room to another.
Pressing one hand tightly against the side of his head he pushes through into his own room. In the back of his mind he is aware of the trail of pink he must be leaving across the communal room but he’s too far gone to care at this moment. Even in this state he can imagine the scare it will give Kazuichi or Sonia but that sounds more like their issue than his own.
As soon as he’s through the doorway he leans his entire weight against the door. Pushing it closed as he slides down, digging his back into the firm surface. He doesn’t even bother turning on the light before his head rocks back to smack against the hard wood of the door. At least the searing pain is enough to cut through the noise for a single second - at this point he will take any relief from the barrage that he can find.
Minutes, maybe even hours, pass as he stares up at the ceiling. With every breath he rattles against the door. Somewhere in the distance he could swear he hears people moving about and chatting but the sound of them blends into nothing. All sounds are firmly locked away on the other side of the door where they can’t touch him. The chasm between him and the sounds rapidly growing with every passing second.
Instead his mind keeps replaying the memories, reliving each one over and over and over. Every death is freshly haunting his mind, their screams and cries clawing at him. While he had practically seen the ‘game’ play out for Naegi and the others first hand, he had never understood how they felt. Do they feel this gnawing pit in their stomachs or is this another thing that has been caused by the Neo World Program?
He sits there stewing in his memories until his stomach begins grumbling. He’s not sure he wants to know how long it has been since he last ate. Logically that should be a sign to go and grab something but there’s no way he’s leaving this room. Sonia will kill him but that’s a problem for another day. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s gone without food for a few days.
Nevertheless, even if he doesn't want to leave the dark safety of the room, he still probably shouldn’t keep sitting here. The hard floor isn’t exactly helping the state of his body as every inch of him aches and throbs. He has to hold onto the wall as he drags himself up, leaning all his weight against it to try and stabilise himself. Every slight motion makes his head spin - it's certainly not helped by his legs which are trembling even now. As a result it takes much longer to cross the room to the bathroom than it normally would.
Sighing deep in his soul, he grips onto the edge of the sink and looks up into the mirror above once again. The person that looks back at him looks wholly unfamiliar. Even though he has seen himself multiple times, he’s still taken aback by the sight of long black hair wrapping around him, draping long past his waist. Perhaps he’s been spending too long in those damn memories. It’s not just his hair though, the pale hue of his skin juxtaposed by the dull red of dried blood still coating makes him look entirely alien. He almost expects to see sharp fangs in the place of his canines when he opens his mouth but of course there’s nothing but normal teeth.
But the most shocking thing is his eyes. While the bright red colour is still staring back at him, even now, it feels…wrong. As if the world is hanging upside down. Twisting around until he feel like emptying his guts. In spite of everything, it still feel like someone elae is staring back at him. He can’t put his finger on what it is exactly but something behind the eyes looks entirely foreign.
Before he realises it a web of cracks broken out across the surface. Pink blood seeping into all the cracks as the light shimmers elegantly across the surface. Warmth burns through his fist, pink blooming over his knuckles. Staining them against the darkness.
Now the face staring back at him is fragmented. Jigsaw pieces all skewed out of alignment. A million eyes gleam in every direction, refusing to give him any peace and quiet.
Trying to avoid their glare he ducks away from the mirror, grabbing some toilet paper and wetting it under the sink. Without looking in the now shattered mirror he carefully wipes away all the crusted blood from his face. While he can’t check how well it has cleaned off, he just keeps scrubbing. Scrubbing and scrubbing and scrubbing until the skin burns. Until there is no way a single trace can remain.
Only once he is certain he must be clean does he let his hand shift. Dropping the scraps of bloodied toilet paper into the sink. Minuscule pieces shredded to cover every surface. As if moving on it’s own his hand scrapes against the skin of his wrist. Nails scratching. Dragging. Pink droplets mixing with the glass as it drops into the sink - splattering softly against the ceramic surface. Even now he can still feel tiny pieces of the paper pressed against his skin, not fully brushed
Screwing his eyes closed he gently twists the tap on and holds his hand under the flowing water. The falling water is stained pink as it spins around the drain and disappears. With a gentle hand he brushes over his knuckles, just surveying it to be sure
Of course, he tries his best to clean out the injury, making sure no stray pieces of glass have gotten trapped inside the cuts.
After a few minutes the water begins running clear, everything sucked away down into the drain never to be seen again. Only then does he pull his hand out and dry it off. Not wanting to go searching for bandages he grabs one of the white t-shirts and rips it some small strips off. Being as gentle as possible he wraps the cloth strips tightly around his hand even tighter until everything feels numb and hazy.
With thoughts and memories still screeching in his mind he collapses onto the bed. He pulls the covers tightly around him, burying his injured hand under the duvet. Curled up in the darkness he closes his eyes and prays sleep will find him.
Chapter 10: 4th of May
Summary:
Izuru tries to navigate interactions with new memories in his mind
Chapter Text
04/05 - 12:45
Despite how much he prayed, the gods clearly weren’t on his side. Hours and hours passed as he waited in his bed but sleep never came. His thought were just too…loud.
Part of him just wants to remain in bed as the haze continues to wrap itself around his mind but he can feel the grumble of his stomach getting louder and louder. Honestly, he has no idea how long he's been in this room at this point but he should probably just grit his teeth and find himself some food.
As he gets up its clear things have improved ever so slightly from the day before at least. Not that it could have gotten much worse. The blinding pain seems to have most faded, leaving the rhythmic throbbing in its place. Most of the time its pretty bearable, but whenever he stands up or moves too fast the world is consumed by darkness that seems to somehow spin in front of him.
It takes far longer than he would have liked to try and get dressed, moving as slowly as he can as the tingly numbness begins to spread, but he makes it work nonetheless. Seeing the clothes now there is no missing pink splotches still dotted all over the shirt. Only now does he vaguely remember slumping on the bed without actually getting ready or changing clothes. Although given his delirious state he's hardly surprised…
Still he doesn’t let himself give the clothes a second though as he throws the clothes on top of the dresser as fast as he can in this state. Maybe he should try and find some cleaning products later if he wants to attempt to get rid of those stains. Then again, with low quality clothes like these, does it even matter?
As he pulls on some new clothes, he turns his back to the bathroom and the broken mirror. Putting them far behind him, even if he can't actually forget about them. Only once he’s changed does he finally start redressing his knuckles with another scrap of fabric from the t-shirt. The wounds have scabbed over since he last checked them so the dressing is probably unnecessary but he goes through the motions anyway. Keeping his hands busy if nothing else.
For some reason he'd thought he would know what to do after getting ready but as he stands there, freshly dressed, he's as lost as ever. It feels like, for the first time since waking up, he really has no goal on the horizon. There is no pull to return to the Neo World Program. No itch tugging him towards the memories. No desire to see the others or learn about this place. What more is there for him?
Scanning the room his gaze is drawn to the two sleek files that are still laying on top of his dresser. Even from over here he can perfectly make out the names on each one. His and Chiaki’s. Swaying from side to side and clenching his fists, he stalks over to them. Taking one in each hand before tossing both directly in the small bin in the corner of the room. But even then they still peek out so he grabs the blood shirt and throws it over them.
There, that’s better. His hands rest either side of his hips. Good riddance with them both honestly.
Wanting to put as much space between him and the files as possible, he grips onto the door handle. For a few seconds he lingers there. Just holding onto the door handle as he tries to steady himself. Only once his mind has had time to settle does he yank open the door to step out.
Perhaps he has just been trapped in his bubble for too long but as he steps out into the main room he stutters for a moment. Pausing where he stands at the still quiet of the corridor. It's hardly like he was expecting chaos raining down but it still sends a shiver down his spine. The only sound breaking the atmosphere being repetitive scrubbing echoing towards him.
Scrub, scrub, scrub.
It’s almost melodic.
Cautiously, he creeps around the corner as slowly as he can. Peering out into the common room as he leans around the edge of the corridor. Even with his limited view there is no way he can miss the sight of Sonia sitting there on the floor. Her hand is gripping tightly onto a small scrubber, her long hair perfectly tied up in a bun on top of her head - not so much as a strand out of place. Much to his confusion she brings the scrubber up to ferociously scrub at the walls with as much force as she can. He doesn’t want to know how much dish soap she used as a mountain of bubbles have built up on the surface.
For a moment he frowns attempting to figure out what she’s doing there with such determination. Only then does he see the red stain streaked across the walls - everything from the night before hitting him all at once. His own blood is painted on the surface, a perfect line leading up to his door.
A hand claps against his shoulders, jolting him forwards as someone shouts in his ear, “Izuru!” His skin crawls uncomfortably but he shoves the feeling down, fighting to just keep himself from flinching too noticeably, “What happened?! Are you okay?”
Before Izuru can think properly, Kazuichi squeezes his shoulder tightly. Forcing him to come face to face with Kazuichi. Shaky eyes meeting in the middle.
It doesn’t help that the conversation is punctuated by the soft thud of the scrubber falling to the ground as Sonia cries out, “Kamukura!"
Yet again goosebumps break out across his skin. Its as if a switch has been flipped in his mind. He can’t even control his body anymore.
They can both hear her scramble against the floor as she shoots across the room. Launching herself at them. Even so, neither of them make any moves to shift out of the way. Allowing her to close the distance in the blink of an eye.
“I’m fine.” He swallows deeply. Although even he doesn’t believe he’s being convincing right now, what is he supposed to tell them?
“Fine?! There’s a line of blood going to your room. We tried knocking on your door so many times but you never answered us.” Kazuichi grips both his shoulders and shakes him without any remorse.
Lights dance uncomortably in front of his eyes as he tries desperately to blink them away. With every shake the world becomes blurrier and blurrier. Every inch of his being wants to shove Kazuichi away but he’s too disorientated to do much of anything. He’s only saved when Sonia’s bubbly covered hand reaches for his own, lifting it up to her eye line.
“What happened? Is your hand okay?” He can feel her gently poking at the hastily wrapped cloth.
He blinks slowly and he moves his legs slightly further apart to try and create a stable base under himself. Bit by bit the light begins to bleed out, the colour and life returning to the world around him.
“Nothing happened. I just accidentally knocked into a mirror.” It’s not exactly a lie so he tells himself that there’s nothing wrong with it.
“A mirror?” It would take an idiot not to sense the judgement and suspicion oozing off of Kazuichi with every passing second. Still he chooses to ignore the other boy,
after all he’s already said everything he needed to say.
“Well thank god you are okay!” Sonia finally releases his hand, letting it gently return to Izuru’s side, “When we saw the blood and Naegi, Kirigiri, and Togami rushing around, we were worried for your safety. We were sure something had happened to you!”
Are those…tears?
A pang of pain courses through his body but he holds still and strong. Two different images of Sonia dance before his eyes. At first he sees the girl he used to know, stood above a cheering crowd, eyes alight with crackling flames. But within a split second a different version of the girl comes into focus. The same girl who broke down sobbing as Gundham was dragged off to his fate. He sees the girl who collapsed when Chiaki was sentenced. The girl who wanted nothing more than to bake with her friends. He's the one that is making Sonia cry.
“I’m sorry for worrying you.” He drops any pretense, pursing his lips as he swallows hard, “It really was nothing though. I just needed to sort myself out so I guess I just didn’t notice you and Kazuichi knocking.”
“It is okay. I think I am just a little more on edge nowadays than I once was…” Sonia tries to smile as she gently wipes her eyes with the back of her arm.
“What about Naegi, Kirigiri and Togami?” Kazuichi frowns, turning his entire body towards Izuru, “What was going on with them if it wasn’t about you?”
He’s not sure he wants to know what they were doing. There’s no doubt it was related to his little trip into the Neo World Program. Probably the three of them making plans about what to do with the rest of them knowing how they operate. The voice in the back of his head reminds him that it should probably bother him a little more but at this point he’s beyond all that. They can do whatever they want.
“It doesn’t matter. It’s probably nothing we want to hear about anyway.” He waves it off casually.
“You have to come and sit over here.” Sonia grabs his hand and pulls him into the communal area without giving him any chance to back out.
Neither her nor Kazuichi bring up the blood or the others again. Instead, they seem insistent on using him as some kind of judge for their strange cooking game. Both of them are basically scrambling over each other to try and impress him with the concoctions.
While he’s stuck waiting on them to finish cooking he tries to fix whatever Sonia had been doing to the wall. Taking a fresh sponge he cleans away the bubbles and he starts gently wiping away every smudge of red between the entrance and his room. It’s almost peaceful sitting there, listening to Sonia and Kazuichi bicker in the background. For a little while he can allow himself to pretend they’re in the Neo World program. That they’re still on that island in those first few days when they were still bickering but were all safe and alive. But then he hears the emptiness around them and he’ll be reminded that in some ways it really is just Kazuichi and Sonia left - if even that.
“Come on Izuru, try this!” Sonia shoves a plate of…something in front of him.
He hasn’t even put it in his mouth yet and he’s already getting goosebumps. There is no way it’s a good sign when even he has no idea what she’s supposed to have made. Kazuichi’s dish is clutched in his hands, and while the dough is practically charcoal, it still resembles a pizza if nothing else. If he didn’t know any better he might guess Sonia’s is some kind of soup but there’s far too much solid matter floating within for him to truly be certain.
“Fine.” He braces himself and closes his eyes before he lets Sonia shovel the mess into his open mouth.
Surprisingly it’s not as inedible as her other food but he can’t pick our a single flavour other than garlic from the strange half liquid.
“How much garlic did you put in this?” He coughs, gently pushing the spoon away.
“Hmmm, the recipe said 2 cloves.”
He slowly turns towards her part of the kitchen to try and get a better look at the ingredients on the counter top. Sure enough he sees the garlic skin but there’s far more than 2 cloves worth. Wait, by two cloves did she…
He coughs dramatically and instantly looks over to Kazuichi hoping for any kind of moral support. Instead he’s greeted by a loud snorting laugh as he rocks back. The pizza slides straight off the plate and onto the floor but not one of them makes a single move to save it. Not right now anyway.
~~~
04/05 - 20:04
Compared to how the day before had gone, this time at least Izuru feels somewhat lighter as he steps back into his room. Exhaustion permeates his very soul and yet he can feel the ghost of a smile on his lips. Somehow - despite the fact that his mind still feels like it had been through a blender - he feels better than ever. If he didn’t know any better he would have thought that Sonia or Kazuichi had slipped something into the food. Even they wouldn’t have gone that far though. Not now anyway.
As soon as he enters the room he trudges over to the bed and flops down onto it, lying up and staring at the ceiling once again. The air in the room carries a slight metallic tinge which itches at his nose but even that isn’t quite enough to get him up off the bed. He’s had to deal with more than enough blood for one day. That can be tomorrows problem now.
Long black hair surrounds him, strands draping in every possible direction. A few rogue pieces are slowly shifting, drooping in front of his eyes. No matter how hard he blows they simply flutter up before dropping right back down onto his face. Damn, he really needs to get up and retrieve his hair band. The sooner he can get this hair gone and out of the way the better.
He’s never had particularly strong feelings towards his hair, but right now with it laying awkwardly sitting directly in his view… He’d never known hair could look so much like wires. Each strand slowly curls around him. He could almost be convinced they were trying to choke the life out of him. Since when was hair this out of control?!
Scowling he launches himself up off the of the bed to storm over to the bathroom. He fists his long hair and tosses the hair over his shoulder. It will all be better if he just grabs a hairband. That’s all he needs.
However, as soon as he catches a flash of his reflection in the shattered mirror he freezes up. Unable to breath as the shimmering dark red of his now dried blood stares back. No matter how much he wants to move, he can't even swallow. It’s hard to make out much of anything with whispery cracks spread across the entire surface but even now with his hair hanging limply around him there is no missing the long scar across the side of his head. Peering closer into the mirror he reaches up to adjust a few strands of hair to cover the scar better. It does very little to help though, if he strains his eyes there’s still no missing it but there’s not much more he can do about it now.
Finally snapping him out of his haze, je fumble around for the hair tie and pulls his hair up into a knot. Keeping the strands covering the scar in place as he does so. Maybe it’s the darkness, or the broken mirror, or maybe its just the way his hair is tied up, but his hair almost looks like it used to. He can pretend the dark colouration is nothing but the darkness playing tricks on his eyes.
Absentmindedly his hand reaches up to brush at his hair. Even with the lightest of touches the hair begins breaking free, tumbling around. Just like that the illusion is shattered. Once again long black wiry hair is framing him. For some reason the sight sends a churning feeling through his stomach.
His hand stretches forward to lay his palm against the shattered glass. The harder he presses against the surface the more the cracks spread. As the cracks meet the edge of the mirror a large shard shatters off, falling into his palm. His still injured hand curls around the sharpened edge as he bring it up to his face. It’s too thin to show much but that doesn’t stop him from gazing in hopefully.
As if his body is moving on it’s own, he yanks the rest of his hair free and he brings the shattered glass up to the strands. Without hesitating he presses the sharp edge against the strands, slashing into them with a single strong stroke. Hair falls around at his feet but he keeps cutting. Piece by piece each one is hacked away until he’s left with a short bob of jagged hair. Each one is a completely different length, the awkward disjointed angles sticking out like a sore thumb but he doesn’t bother touching them up. Instead he twists his head from side to side, trying to get a better look at each side in the broken remains for the mirror. He’d almost forgotten how light it feels not having all that hair all the time. His scalp sighs at the feeling of fresh air brushing against it.
He does his best to brush free any loose strands, watching them float gently towards the ground. However, no matter how much he brushes, the itching refuses to die down. It’s like a million ants are crawling across his skin. Some of the hair must have slid down the back of his shirt so he yanks it off and swaps into a pyjama shirt.
Shaking loose his hair one last time he abandons the bathroom. Black hair is still littered everywhere but he doesn’t bother brushing it up. Instead he crashes onto the bed and pulls the cover over himself, wrapping himself up tightly. Scratching at his neck he lays in the darkness until sleep overtakes him.
Chapter 11: 5th of May
Summary:
Izuru has a strange early morning encounter
Chapter Text
05/05 - 03:14
He’s so tired of nightmares. For the millionth time since leaving the Neo World Program, he jerks awake in the pitch black of the night. The only relief is that he can’t remember a second of it no matter how hard he tries to look back on it.
Loose hair tickles the back of his neck incessantly. No matter how much his nails scrape at the raw skin it doesn’t get any better. If anything the fresh skin is even more itchy. Black strands are scattered all over the pillow, taunting him.
In a last ditch effort he drags himself to the shower and stands under the pounding water. Only as the water trails down him does it click that he hasn't taken his pyjamas off. But even then he doesnt make a move, letting them simply soak in the water as they cling to his body.
The exposed fresh skin sears under the pounding heat but he doesn’t even consider moving out of the way. While his mind may be fogged up, he simply breathes it in. It’s all he can do to press his head up against the cooler tiles of the shower. It's doesn’t clear the fog that’s descending over his head but it does ground him slightly.
He can see the thin black strands slowly washing down. Bit by bit the water slowly turns the faintest shade of pink as water runs off his neck and body. His mind clings to the sight, unable to pull away from the mix of black and pink underneath him. He probably shouldn’t be so disappointed when the water does finally begin to run clear.
However, even then he doesn’t move from his spot. Water still crashes against him and the heat still sears through him down to his bones. As long as he stands here everything is distant and covered in a thick haze. He can’t feel the unending itching. All he can feel is the heat and water.
How long does he stay there unmoving? An hour? Longer? Almost as if chastising him, the water slowly begins to grow colder and colder. Every inch of heat being sapped out and leaving him shivering and itchy. This must be a limit to the Future Foundations resources. As much as he wants to critise it, it’s actually impressive the hot water lasted this long in this day and age.
Despite the cold now slicing through him, he still doesn’t want to actually move out if it’s path. He should. He really needs to get out and get warm. The chattering of his teeth feels like a jackhammer to the inside of his head. And yet he just stands there. It’s all he can do to reach over and turn off the water. The unsteady dripping of his own soaking wet clothes is the only sound left in the room. The only sound other than the screaming and pounding sounds from within his body.
~~~
05/05 - 05:16
Food. He needs food. Somewhere past the haze of his mind he can feel his stomach churning and growling angrily. Somehow he hadn’t had his fill yesterday.
He’s only just pried himself out of his wet clothes but it must almost be morning by this point - without a clock to look at it’s hard to be sure though. A more than appropriate time for food if you ask him. Then again, when there is nothing else to do in the day is there such a thing as an inappropriate time for food?
As usual the kitchen is devoid of life when he enters. Everyone is silent behind their respective doors but he can’t help but wonder if they’re all asleep or simply laying in bed waiting for the seconds to tick by. Who knows…
Without anyone here for him to cook for he simply grabs some bread and begin making toast. The sooner he can make the food and eat it the better. It’s not like there are many toppings to be found but he spreads on some butter and calls it a day.
“You’re a mess.”
He jumps out of his skin, twisting to try and see who’s coming up behind him but somehow the sight is even more shocking that the noise itself.
Akane’s frail form is leaning against the wall of the corridor. Even now she’s clinging to the walker, every muscle in her body straining feebly. After days of nothing, here she is as if nothing happened. He’s almost tempted to believe that it’s nothing more than an illusion from his addled mind. The only hint she’s real is her frail frame - it’s a stark contrast to how he’s used to seeing her in his memories and dreams.
Of all the times to come back though…why is she here now? It might be wishful thinking but perhaps this isn’t the first time. Maybe she’s been sneaking out every night and they’ve been worried about her for nothing. And then he looks her up and down again and all those worries come back.
“Why thank you.” He sighs and turns back to his food.
Knowing Akane pity wouldn’t be what she needs anyway. If she’s treating this casually then he will too.
“How didja screw your hair up that bad? Didn’t you have that long fancy hair.” Her voice has a slightly croaky edge to it but its surprisingly firm despite her weakened form. And yet in spite of that, there’s still something distinctly Akane about it. An unfaltering strength hidden behind every word. If he hadn’t physically seen her he might be tricked into thinking she was the same as ever.
He doesn’t bother turning around as she approaches. It’s not like she can sneak up on him. Every step she takes drags out as she shuffles along.
“It was getting long and in the way. I needed to cut it.” He keeps his voice as steady as possible.
Is is he supposed to explain why he really cut it? I got some of my memories back and now my brain is broken so I had to hack off my hair. Yeah, he’s going to sound very stable and sane after that. Then again, what difference does it make if Akane sees him as stable and sane.
Even so, she doesn’t slow down or stop. In fact, after an arduous minute or two, he finds her standing right behid him. She’s grinning ear to ear, eyes alight like a child on Christmas day.
“What’s that look for?” He sighs and finally turns towards her.
“I can do some hairdressin' for ya!” She turns her back to the counter, using her elbows to keep her up. “Anythin’ to tidy up that mop.” Her judgemental hand wave isn’t appreciated.
“Thank you but I think I can manage. I’m more qualified than you after all.” He waves her away and takes a large bite of his toast. He doesn’t need to entertain this - especially not when his food is right there in front of him.
“It sure looks like it.”
Realistically, the first hair he’s ever cut was his own yesterday. It might not be the most flattering example but that changes nothing. He just needed it gone, he wasn’t aiming for a perfect model haircut. Maybe if he had used scissors he would have done better. Either way it’s perfectly fine…
His hands go up immediately to run through the hacked locks. Feeling every inch of the lopsided hair, “I was using a piece of broken mirror, I didn’t have any scissors to hand so it got a little messy. I wasn’t trying to make it look good.”
“Eh, I thought you were supposed to be Mr Perfect or whatever. What’s wrong with lettin’ me fix it for ya?”
Mr Perfect, huh? He seems to be failing at that a lot recently. What would the doctors say if they saw his ragged look right now? The thought makes him chuckle a little internally. They would most certainly pitch a fit over the whole thing. Good. For the first time he actually wants to see the bastards.
“Why do you want to fix it anyway.” He sets down his toast and regards her.
She’s been reclusive for days, running away when he saw her at night, and now she just wants to cut his hair. He can’t truly look that bad. Can he? Perhaps checking himself over in the mirror might not be such a bad idea.
She turns and looks at the floor. Her matted hair flops in front of her, hiding her face from view. He can just about see her biting her lip underneath the thick layer of hair.
“I dunno. You just look all pathetic. Don’t you wanna look normal?” She mumbles quietly. Her feet brush against one another distractingly.
Pathetic? He wants to feel angry. He wants to feel offended. He wants to take his food and leave but doesn’t do any of those things.
‘Look normal’. That’s exactly what he didn’t want. He needed it all gone. If he had wanted to look the same as usual he’d have left it as it was, long and wiry and getting everywhere no matter what he tried.
Even so looking at her now it’s impossible to squeeze out the word no. He takes a deep breath in and folds his arms. He’s going to regret this isn't he… It wouldn’t be the first time.
“You better not make it worse.”
Her entire face lights up at once. Just like that she looks up from the ground, grinning once again. In fact, maybe she’s a little too excited about this all. At least she has some kind of energy though he supposes. It’s better than a walking husk of a person.
“What are you sayin’? I've got a whole lotta younger siblin's - I know how to cut hair. I ain’t gonna make it worse than it is now.” She carefully releases the walker and stands resolutely with her hands on her hips.
“Sure.”
With newfound purpose and energy, she starts rustling though the nearby draws for any kind of scissors. He watches on curiously as she sweeps by like a hurricane. Her walker looks more like an extension of her own body as it glides about the room with ease. There’s no rhyme or reason to her searching, she’s just tearing apart everything she sees. It’s almost impressive. Almost.
Yet despite the inefficiency, she does eventually pull out a shiny pair of scissors from the cutlery draw. Brandishing them like a sword she begins waving it in front of him proudly. It’s hard not to be a little worried that she’s about to poke one of their eyes out.
Miraculously they both make it out fine as she backs away, scissors now safely at her side. Although her legs are still shaky, she moves with much more purpose this time. In no time at all she’s moved over to the couch, her scissors bouncing against the arm rest as she taps it impatiently.
“Come on then.” She beckons him with a wiggle of her scissors. Not at all worrying in the slightest. What has he gotten himself into here?
“I need to finish my food.” His pieces of toast are still sat on the table calling to him. She couldn’t have interrupted after he got to eat? His stomach growls in agreement. Unfortunately that agreement doesn’t spread any further.
“What? Just eat it while I’m cutting your damn hair.”
His hands reach down to grip the plate with his food protectively. Putting his body between her and his precious food is all he can do.
“No. I’m not letting you get hair all over my food.” Just the thought of it makes him want to gag. There’s been enough hair all over the place for one day. Can’t he even eat one meal in peace?
“Fine.” Her eye roll speaks otherwise.
Of course she wouldn’t understand. He’s talking to the wrong person here. The food might as well no exist to her…
That’s when an idea comes into his mind, “Why don’t you eat my other slice. I’ll be finished sooner if you do.”
His stomach cries out desperately but he ignores it. No matter how angry and vocal his body is, it doesn’t need this food right now. He can go a few more hours and be no worse off. Akane on the other hand… Hadn’t he been wanting to force her to eat the other day. She’s right here in front of him.
Her eyebrows crease together as she tries to read him. Thankfully post despair Akane is still, at her core, the same as the one he remembers from the Neo World Program. No amount of effort is going to help her read him of all people.
“Why don’t you just eat it after?”
He scrunches up his nose in disgust, holding the plate up in front of her temptingly “No one wants to eat cold toast and I’m not wasting the food."
Even as he speaks he can see her nose twitching erratically. Beast instinicts reawakening from scent alone. She doesn’t even bother trying to hide her dry swallow.
“You’re weird, you know that?” She scoffs but she takes the toast anyway.
Her shaking hand grip the edges of the toast, slowly pulling at the bread as if she’s never seen it before in her life. Instead of taking large bites she simply nibbles at the edges, more like one of the four dark devas than the beast she used to be. Even so, its better than nothing so he’ll take what he can get.
“I am technically four years old. It would most likely be stranger if I was normal…” He mumbles as he tucks into his toast.
“Four years old?” Akane asks between nibbles, cocking her head to the side like a small puppy. “How does that even work?”
“That’s when Hope’s Peak messed with me.” He shrugs casually.
He’s not actually sure if Akane is even aware of his history with Hope’s Peak. It’s not like he sat down and spoke to most the other despairs about it before everything happened. It never seemed neccessary to talk about. Then again Junko did like bashing the school whenever possible so its impossible to be sure.
“Oh right, the Izuru stuff.” Akane nods mid nibble, “Well you ain't like a gour year old at least. At least not like any of my siblin's.” Akane grins, showing off her sharp canines. It’s not exactly high praise but he returns the smile anway.
“Thanks, I guess.” He snorts sarcastically and shoves the last bit of toast in his mouth.
It leaves a dry feeling in his mouth but he swallows it down anyway. It might not exactly be the most filling meal but his stomach has stopped growling at least. It’s enough to see him through.
Akane on the other hand has barely even chewed through a corner. Small scraps are missing around the edge but nothing more. He doesn’t dare say a word though, not even as she sets it back on her plate and moves to grab the scissors.
“Come on then.” With the hand that’s holding her scissors she grips onto the walkers and with the other she gently tugs on his sleeve. “Lets get your hair sorted so I don’t gotta look at it anymore!” Her mischeviously smile isn’t exactly encouraging but he allows himself to be dragged up anyway.
“What about the toast?” He frowns down at the plate, picking it up in one hand.
“You and the damn toast.” She rolls her eyes and snorts, “Just bring it with you. I’ll eat it while I’m working.”
Just the thought of her getting butter and crumbs in his freshly cut hair makes him break out in goosebumps but he doesn’t say a word. It’ll be fine. He can always just have another shower if he needs to.
So without argument they both shuffle back to Akane’s room. After a few steps she releases her hold on him to focus on moving as fast as she can but he hovers right behind her anyway. It would feel wrong to storm ahead into her room without her, besides at lest this way he can keep an eye on her.
When they finally make it to her room she kicks open the door with her foot and hobbles into the room. Cautiously Izuru stalks behind her, scanning the room as they enter. It’s not particularly different to any of the other rooms, it’s not like there is enough stuff in this place to do any personalisation, however there are a few dirty clothes littered randomly with no rhyme or reason. Knowing how Akane’s room had been in the Neo World Program he’s fully aware it could be worse so he puts up no fuss as she leads him in.
Instead of moving over to the bathroom she stumbles over to the bed, kicking her walker aside as soon as she takes a seat. Pointing with her scissors at the floor she barks orders at him, “Sit here.”
“On the floor?”
“You got a problem? I gotta be able to get to all your hair so you need to be shorter than me. I ain’t standing up the whole time - not if you want decent hair.”
It’s hard to argue with that. Sucking in a deep breath he takes his spot on the floor, crossing his legs and staring forward at a random point of the wall.
Humming to herself Akane snips her scissors menacingly. The blades are still nowhere near his head but it sends a shudder down him anyway. He almost jumps out of his skin when something cold brushes against him but instead of smooth metal he feels tough nails slowly brushing through his locks.
“What didja do to your neck?” She tuts like a chiding teacher rather than the bullheaded athlete he’s always seen her as. The serious tone most certainly doesn’t suit her.
He shivers as her nails prod at the sore spot on the nape of his neck. He has to dig his nails into his palms to remind himself not to flinch back. She’s just being curious and not thinking. She’s just being Akane.
Gritting his teeth he hisses at her, “Leave it!”
For a few seconds her hands just fall motionless, still resting uncomfortably on his neck. But right when he’s about to reach back and yank her hands off she shifts them away.
“Sure….whatever.”
“Look, it was itchy. I ended up scratching it a bit much, that’s all.” He crosses his arms childishly.
Surely that much should have been obvious! Was the scratching a little bit much? Maybe. But she’s not one to be judging him. Especially not now after everything. Even so, he probably shouldn’t let her see his scabbed over knuckles.
“Well don’t scratch while I’m working.”
With a short huff she begins putting her scissors to work. There’s nothing he can do but sit there and listen to the soft snipping as the scissors get to work. Listening to the sounds alone is almost soothing. At least it is if he pretends he hasn’t give Akane of all people the power over his hair. Sat here in the middle of the room he can’t even keep track of progress with a mirror. He has to soley rely on what little cues he’s given.
He can’t even imagine what she’s going for when she says ‘make him look like normal’. Since awakening as Izuru he’s only ever had long straight hair. Silently he prays that she’s not going to give him a straight bob or bowl cut…
“Sit up straight.” Akane chides firmly, hitting the back of his head gently. Following her directions he straightens up and bites down on his bottom lip. He hadn’t even noticed he was collapsing in on himself. “Now stay still. Don’t wriggle.”
In the past he’s never had any issues with sitting perfectly still but now all of a sudden its like ants have crawled into his trousers. Every little movement of her scissors has him jolting and wriggling. Doing his best to channel the nervous energy away he starts bouncing his leg softly.
“I’m not a child…” Somehow the words don’t sound as believable when he says them aloud as they sounded in his head.
“And I don’t want to have ta beat some sense into ya.”
Trying to settle himself he closes his eyes and forces a few slow breaths. His mind slowly drifts to his memory of Akane. If the version of him from inside the program could see this moment right now would he have been surprised. All of him memories are flooded with Akane booming around the place. Her energy completely drowning every room. And yet here she is quietly working at his hair.
For the rest of the ‘session’ she remains silent and diligent. She’s so quiet that when the scissors finally fall to her side and she opens her mouth to speak he’s taken aback.
“There ya go!” She chuffs and nudges his shoulder firmly. “Go check it out.”
He doesn’t need to be prompted more than once. Not waiting for Akane to retrieve her walker he makes a beeline towards the bathroom. Every step he takes has his heart pounding faster and faster. The thundering drone almost completely overtaking him.
When he finally steps in front of the mirror he can’t bring himself to look up. What if it has been completely butchered? What if he’s just let her completely wreck his appearance. Sure, the haggard and hacked up look wasn’t exactly great but at least that was him. He had some control. This is all Akane.
This is stupid. It’s just some damn hair. And if it does look a state then its too late now. At this point he needs to look because if there is any damage then its already too late.
Pulling himself together he forcefully opens his eyes and meets the gaze of his reflection. The breath catches in his throat. Instantly his hands jump up to his hair, rubbing through them just to be sure its definitely not an illusion.
“See, you look more like yourself now dude!” Akane preens but he completely ignores her.
Instead of trying to recover the spindly straight hair he’s always had, she’s neatened up each of his hacked away locks making them into perfect little spikes. If his hair wasn’t still jet black he could be fooled into thinking Hajime Hinata was staring back at him. Every lock is still perfectly in place, all the way down to the slightly longer strand at the top of his head.
“I -”
He can see Akane grinning smugly through the mirror. She still has one hand on the walker but the other is set on her hip, “I told ya I know what I'm doing.”
Of all the skills he would have gone to Akane for, this most certainly wasn’t one of them. Sure, on the island she’d mentioned her family but she most certainly didn’t mention all this. If he wasn’t so wrapped up in staring at his reflection he might be embarassed by his sudden inability to even form words.
“Thank you.”
“What'cha bein’ so polite for?” Although she tries to tilt her head away even she can’t hide the bright pink flush that appears across her taut cheeks. Even her awkward little cough does nothing to cut through the moment, “Whatever. Y’know we can dye your hair too. I saw some dye in one of that medical lookin’ room the other day.”
He could swear his heart skips a beat, “Dye it…? Why would I need to dye it?” He mumbles but he’s instantly imagining his reflection with brown hair once more. Every inch of Hope’s Peak scrubbed clean from him. Everything except the scar at least. Going back to his original brown hair after everything feels somehow more surreal than everything else they’ve been through.
As if reading his mind, Akane pushes herself up to his side. She’s still slightly shorter than him but that doesn’t stop her from reaching into his hair to rifle through it softly, “Don’tcha wanna make it brown again. Black don’t really suit you, y'know.”
His expression hardens, “Yes. I want to dye it.” Yes he wants this. No, he needs this. He can finally be done with the black hair for good. Or at least until his new roots grow back.
“Come on then.” She grabs his hand and he lets her drag him from the room to begin their journey.
Even with shorter hair it takes longer than he would like to go through the whole process of bleaching and dyeing but he really shouldn’t complain. By the time they’ve finished the entire room reeks of chemicals, the scents have undoubtedly soaked into every inch of fabric. Although they’d been smart enough to move into the bathroom when handling the bleach, both of their clothes are stained, bleach and dye dripping absolutely everywhere. He doesn’t even want to think about how much damage he’s done to his hair but he can afford a little damage…right?
Sonia and Kazuichi must be able to hear them chatting inside Akane’s room and there’s no way they can’t smell the chaos but neither of them make any moves to knock on the door. For a little while its like him and Akane are in their own little bubble. He knows eventually that bubble will have to pop and he has no idea if Akane will ever willingly interact like this with him or any of the others again but for now he decides to just enjoy the moment. The rest of his worries are for tomorrow to deal with
~~~
05/05 - 20:13
After a few hours Akane’s eyes have started drooping even while she’s sat up. Despite the fact she’s yawning, she refuses to admit she’s tired even once. It takes him forcibly dragging her to bed to make her get any rest. However as soon as her head hits the pillow she’s out. Once he’s sure she’s asleep he grabs all the empty dye bottles and leaves the room, quietly closing the door behind him.
As he steps out into the common room to throw away the empty bottles he notices the soft sound of Sonia mumbling. Looking around the room she’s no where to be seen but even if he can’t catch her words he knows what her voice sounds like by now. Cautiously he steps out from the common room and peers around the next doorway onto the Neo World room once more.
Just like before Sonia is sat beside one of the pods, her hand reaching inside to hold the persons hand. Even though she’s just sat here her hair has been perfectly styled and thrown over her shoulder. All of them have been given exactly the same clothes and yet somehow it looks so much more fashionable on her.
“- not since I said I wanted to wake up you guys. However I heard Akane talking with Ha-Kamukura this morning. Both of their voices sounded so happy for once. Akane sounded like normal - for a little while it felt like she had come back.” Sonia sighs heavily, adujsting her arm ever so slightly, “I do not know if you would remember any of our past or Kamukura anymore however Kamukura is the name Hajime goes by now. At first I could not really see it no matter how much I tried but I can see the similarities now. I do not believe he has really changed much despite how he appears on the surface.”
“You can still call me Hajime if you want to.” He clears his throat and steps fully out into her view.
He's not sure why he says it. Even now hearing Hajime’s name only makes him think of those memories. The ghost of someone else lingering within him. And yet hearing Sonia say that now…something feels different. For once he doesn't need to think about Hope's Peak and everything that happened when she says his name. Perhaps it's selfish but the feeling isn't entirely unpleasant.
“Kamu -” She stops immediately as she catches sight of him, “Hajime?” Her mouth falls open at the mere sight of him.
“Who are you talking to?” He takes a few steps forwards, trying to peek into the pod she’s sat beside.
Her hand is wrapped around the pale hand of Peko. Her long silver hair is still loose, hanging in waves like a halo around her head.
“H-Hajime? Your hair?”
“Akane helped me sort it out.”
He grabs a chair and drags it over to the pod casually. Of course he was aware of what a shock it was going to be but he half hoped that if he acts like it is completely normal the others will follow suit. The last thing he needs is more people watching him.
“I hope it looks okay. Having the long hair was starting to become a burden. It’s much more comfortable this way.” He gently reaches up and runs his fingers through it, rustling it until the spikes fall casually around him.
At those words Sonia immediately closes her mouth and smiles sweetly, “It looks wonderful. This style suits you much better.”
“I agree.” He tries his best to smile comfortingly.
Sonia suddenly shakes her head as if she just realised something. Instantly she drops Peko’s hand and leans forwards towards him, “Oh sorry, Kirigiri is not here. Something has been going on with her and the others. They have been busy with some important discussions for the last few days.”
He frowns somberly. What could possibly have happened that would warrant this kind of response from the three of them? Could it be that the future foundation is making some kind of moves? If so then it was bound to happen sooner or later. If anything he should be impressed they lasted this long. But more pressingly, why is Sonia telling him this all of a sudden?
“Why are you telling me this?”
Sonia cocks her head to one side, narrowing her eyes uncertainly, “You were looking for Kirigiri, were you not?” She looks around the room cautiously before leaning in even closer, “She told me about what you were trying to do here.” A slight pink flush rises to her cheeks and he catches her biting down on the inside of her cheek.
So much for privacy. He should have known Kirigiri wouldn’t keep his secrets forever. Realistically she should have told everyone a long time ago, and yet the thought still stings a little.
“What did she tell you?” He grits his teeth and leans back in his chair as far as he possibly can without actually moving the chair itself.
“I just saw all the blood on your pod.” Sonia nods over his shoulder at the pod. Sure enough small smudges of blood are still visible on the exterior, “I was worried and so Kirigiri explained you had been using the pod to reenter the Neo World Program from time to time. She made it clear that you had no ill intents though. I think perhaps she was just a little worried about you. We all are.”
Her hand darts forward, gently laying ontop of his own, her perfectly manicured and soft skin a stark contrast to the calloused skin of Akane or Kazuichi. As soon as her hand makes contact with his, his hand freezes in place. It’s as if he’s worried that a single twitch of his muscles will scare her off.
He’s not sure how long they sit like that, Sonia’s hand on his own and her gaze fixed on the sleeping form of Peko. Eventually he’s the one who breaks the silence though, “I remember everything now, you know.”
As soon as the words come out Sonia pulls her hand away like his hand just lit on fire. In fact he hears her elbow smash into the back of the chair violently from the force. She must have hit her humerus but her expression is so unchanging that it’s impossible to be completely certain.
“By everything….?” She swallows hard as if a rock has been lodged in her throat. If he’s being honest this isn’t quite the response he was expecting from her of all people.
“I remember everything we did in the Neo World Program. The things from my life before all of this shit are still lost but I at least remember those pieces now.”
He lets his gaze shift away from Sonia, and towards Peko and the others around them. Somehow its easier to admit looking at them instead of looking at Sonia.
“Kamukura, that’s amazing!” Sonia gasps, her eyes opening wider than he thought was humanly possible, “I was so worried you would never remember the others.”
Is she sniffling? He probably shouldn’t be surprised. After everything that happened he can only imagine how alone she was being the only one who remembered fully - that is assuming Akane, Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi haven’t snuck off to watch any of the videos without him knowing. At this point he wouldn’t put it past any of them.
Turning his head to one side he coughs gently before adding, “I said you can call me Hajime.”
“Okay, Hajime.” While her voice is always relatively soft and sweet, there’s something about her voice as she says his original name that makes his stomach flutter. As pathetic as it sounds, its enough to make him smile, “I think this calls for a celebration! Kazuichi and I did find some wine bottles in one of the desk draws the other day.” She winks cheekily and claps her hands together excitably.
“Wine?” He raises an eyebrow. Once upon a time the idea of Sonia drinking would have been completely normal - if not expected - but now with the memories of the Neo World Program running rampant through his mind the thought is somewhat surreal.
“Yes! It seems the old future foundation workers who used to work here were good for something after all.” She grins excitedly.
Now he thinks about it, has he ever drunk alcohol before? Years of life and the thought of getting drunk never once appealed to him but now all of a sudden he finds himself grinning at the thought, “Sure, sounds good.”
“Wonderful!” She claps a little too enthusiastically, “But before we do I just need to finish up here.”
“Finish up? What have you been doing?” He examines the room around him, trying to piece together the plan here. Does she mean talking to Peko.
Blushing deeply she mumbles, “Do not laugh, but I have been talking to them all. I have been keeping them up to date with everything that is happening.” She scratches her neck awkwardly, doing her best to hide her face with her arm.
“Laugh? Why would I laugh?” He frowns uncertainly. Sure, he knows he hasn’t always left the best impression in the past but he’s a little ashamed Sonia thinks that low of him.
“Because its not exactly logical, they can not hear anything I say and yet I spend hours sat here talking to them all every day.”
Many words come to mind at those words but not one of them is laughable. “It isn’t completely illogical. Coma patients have been recorded to hear things going on around them. This isn’t quite the same but we can’t know for sure that they can’t also hear us.”
“You really think so?” She sits up a little straighter, regaining her royal posture.
“I do.” He gives her a firm nod, refusing to allow any uncertainty to slip in. While he can't imagine doing that every day, different people need to do different things to work through grief. He isn't going to be the person to take this away from her.
“Thank you, Hajime.”
“It’s no problem. I’d be happy to join you, if you’d let me.” He gently shuffles his chair a little closer to Peko so he can reach forward to grab the sleeping girls hand the same way Sonia had done with both Peko and Gundham.
“Of course! I am certain all of them would be overjoyed to hear from you too.”
While he’s not sure he agrees, he happily moves around the room with Sonia. They talk to every single pod. They even go back to the pods Sonia had already done so she could introduce each one to Hajime.
There’s something innocent and pure about the joy the oozes off of her with every conversation. An undying hope surviving despite everything. If this isn't proof of the Neo World Program's success then he has no idea what is.
It takes longer than he would have thought to speak to them all but he barely notices the time passing until he looks at a clock. By the time they have finished up dinner has come and gone. Even so every moment was worth it, even if it does end up just being for Sonia's peace of mind. Perhaps it doesn't need to be anything more than that.
However the time of day doesn’t stop Sonia’s plans whatsoever. He suspects it could have been the middle of the night or the crack of dawn and she would still refuse to cancel their ‘party’ plans.
“No, we need to celebrate! Besides, the evening is the best time to have celebratory drinks.” She sternly folds her arms, upturning her nose resolutely.
“What if Kazuichi is sleeping?”
Technically it isn’t actually late - only around 9pm - but it’s not like anyone around here is known for their good sleep schedules. At this he wouldn’t put it past any of them.
Apparently Sonia doesn’t agree though as she waves away his concerns casually, “He will not be asleep yet. However, if he is then we shall just have to wake him.”
Wake him?! Isn’t that going a little too far? As much as she wants to ‘celebrate’ at a certain point sleep has to be more important. After all its not like they’re on a time crunch. There’s nothing stopping them from doing this tomorrow.
Still he does nothing to stop her as she knocks against Kazuichi’s door. Thankfully it seems the other boy wasn’t asleep after all as he swings open the door still dressed in filthy stained clothes. It seems the scrap pieces of metal he’d been working on a few days ago hadn’t disappeared completely, instead they’d all been brought over to his room where they now sit covering the majority of the floor space with the exception of a little Kazuichi sized patch in the middle.
But as soon as Kazuichi catches sight of him he flinches back, “Uh, Izuru? What happened to your hair?!”
“Akane cut and dyed it for me.” He can feel his cheeks slowly warming. Perhaps dyeing it wasn’t a great idea after all. Now he has to live with people staring at him constantly. It’s almost more annoying than the long hair was itself.
“A-Akane?”
“Yes! We need the wine to celebrate Hajime feeling better and Akane leaving her room!” Sonia claps he hands enthusiastically and practically spins on the spot. “Come on, hurry hurry hurry!”
“Why do we need to celebrate?”
“After everything we deserve a celebration.” Neither him nor Kazuichi can argue with that. Deserve might be a bit of a strong word but they could certainly do with a little relaxation time.
Despite his complaints Kazuichi heads back into his room and pulls out a selection of bottles from under his bed. He does his best to balance them all in his arms but him and Sonia have to dart in and sweep up a few to avoid any catastrophes. When he’d heard ‘a few’ bottles he had been imagining two, maybe three, but much to his surprise there are five bottles in total. All the same green bottle of what appears to be red wine.
With the bottles now in hand Sonia turns around to them both excitedly, “We should invite Akane and Fuyuhiko too!”
Seeing her so enthusiastic it’s hard to tell her to stop even if it will end in disappointment. Judging by the glance Kazuichi throws his way he feels the same. Even if they tried to stop her he has no idea if they would be able to.
Unsurprisingly neither Akane nor Fuyuhiko responds to her knocking. Not even when she shouts the plan through their doors. He strains his ears as much as possible to try and listen out for any movement but there’s nothing. Dead silence waiting behind both of them. He’s not sure about Fuyuhiko but Akane was looking pretty dead to the world when he left her. Chances are she’s not waking up any time soon.
Nevertheless Sonia’s spirit hasn’t been dampened in the slightest. Both him and Kazuichi take seats besides each other on the couch as Sonia searches the kitchen for some appropriate glassware. Apparently normal glasses won’t do.
As they both sink into the couch in unison, they sigh and allow their shoulders to brush together. As he turns his head to the side he sees Kazuichi grinning.
“So Hajime, huh?”
Once again his cheeks flush uncomfortably, “I suppose so. Sharing a name or appearance with anything Hope’s Peak related feels wrong after everything.” He scratches the back of his neck only to be reminded of the deep scratches still staining his skin.
“It suits you. I like this look much more.”
People are going crazy with the compliments. Does it really look that much better? It almost feels like perhaps he should be feeling offended instead of complimented…
“Do you -” He pauses mid sentence trying to figure out how to word his question, “Do you remember me before all…this?”
“Some of it…not as much as Sonia or I guess you now…mostly just from dreams.” Kazuichi lowers his voice as he speaks, his eyes drifting down to stare at his lap awkwardly.
Dreams…it makes him wonder how much Fuyuhiko and Akane remember. He’d never forget how he found Fuyuhiko the other day - is there any chance he has gotten some of his memories back. Then again, knowing Fuyuhiko he would probably never tell them. It’s funny to imagine than just a few weeks ago they were sat in a island cabin swearing to be brothers and now they barely even see each other. This entire situation is such a mess…
“This is supposed to be a celebration.” Sonia growls as she plops herself down beside him, shoving wine glasses in each of their hands. “We need a festive spirit not whatever this is.”
“Sure Sonia…” Kazuichi tuts but even as he sips at his wine he can’t hide the slight smile encroaching on his lips.
For a while it is peaceful. After so long of it just being him, Sonia, and Kazuichi it’s starting to feel oddly comfortable. Like it was only ever just the three of them against the world. Even just sitting here chatting about the book Sonia read today feels domestic. As if they really were all just normal classmates.
Maybe its the wine running straight to his head or maybe he’s getting a little too used to spending all his time with just Sonia and Kazuichi but the sound of mere footsteps travelling down the hallway makes his brain stall for a moment. It’s like the bubble around the three of them has been shattered and he is falling into free fall, trying to latch onto any thoughts that pass by him. It takes until Fuyuhiko and Akane round the corner for his brain to finally catch up with what’s going on.
“Yay! You both cameeeee!” Sonia giggles and throws her hands up in the air. The wine glass in her hand sloshes from side to side at the sudden jerking movement but at this point she probably doesn’t even notice.
Colour has never been something she lacks but right now might be the brightest he’s ever seen her. Every inch of skin in her face in tinted pink, all the way from the tips of her ears to her neck. On most people it would look unflattering but Sonia pulls it off with grace, even when she’s swaying sloppily.
“Fuyu! It’s been so long!” Unlike Sonia, Kazuichi actually does manage to set his glass down before he makes any attempt at getting up. Its a good thing he did because he barely even gets his arse up off the cushion before hes lost his balance and is tumbling down once again.
Rubbing his face with the heel of his hand Fuyuhiko grumbles to himself, “Ugh god, I was promised wine. I think I need some more alcohol before I sit through this shit.”
“There’s more wine on the side. Bring all the bottles.” Izuru slurs, waving his hand towards the remaining three bottles of wine of the counter.
Akane grabs two of the bottles as Fuyuhiko picks up the remaining one, “Where d’you find this?” Akane mumbles giving the bottles a once over with an unmistakable frown before passing one over to Sonia.
“In the offices. Someone had a secret stash.” Kazuichi winks cheekily, trying to hold his glass out to Fuyuhiko as if the shorter boy is actually going to top him up.
“No way, sort yourself out.” Fuyuhiko chucks the bottles at him and Kazuichi without giving them a second look before pulling the remaining bottle from Akane's grip, “This ones mine.”
“Glasses are -” Sonia hiccups, pointing over at the counter but neither Akane nor Fuyuhiko make any moves in that direction. Instead they both throw themselves onto a couch across from him Kazuichi and Sonia. As if its the most normal thing in the world Fuyuhiko pops it open and chugs straight from the bottle. He’s barely pulled it from his lips before Akane has snatched it back and taken a swig.
“Oi!” Fuyuhiko wrinkles his nose and tries to reach for the bottle but even in this state Akane is miles faster, “I was gonna drink that.” He crosses his arms stubbornly.
“Too bad.” Akane smirks and takes another swig, “I thought you were too young to drink or whatever.”
“We're over 20 now so it's all fine.” Fuyuhiko tuts and takes the bottle as Akane hands it back to him. As if all hints of disgust have been magically forgotten he downs another mouthful, wiping his mouth on the back of his arm.
“Here’s to being adults!” Kazuichi tries to cheer half heartedly, sarcasm dripping from his words.
God, they actually are adults. Without his memories from before all of this he has no idea what he imagined 21 would feel like but he is willing to bet not like this. Drinking wine they fished out of an abandoned office with a bunch of ex-brainwashed psychos while he’s missing about 16 years of memories. Just your average start to adulthood.
When he was still normal Hajime he probably imagined having a home to go back to and a family that loved him. Maybe he thought he would be in love or married by now. Or perhaps he always dreamed of getting the perfect job and settling down to live comfortably. Who knows. Any hope of that stuff is long gone now. His home probably burned with everything else.
And yet… he looks around the room slowly at the meager collection of people they have left: Sonia, with her pink face that just barely hides her dark bags; Kazuichi who still has oil and grime streaked across his face; Fuyuhiko, who still has an eyepatch covering up the stolen eye which now haunts his eye socket; and Akane with her gaunt form and bleach stained clothes. Home might be long gone by now but for now would it be so bad for this to be home.
Hajime smiles and takes another sip of his wine.
Chapter 12: 6th of May
Summary:
Hajime wakes up with a hangover and finally takes the leap
Chapter Text
06/05 - 06:50
While he doesn't remember the evening before, as he wakes up he still somehow remembers that he dreamed again. He dreams of gunfire, and blood, and Junkos hands. The sharp feeling of her nails tugging at his skin. The burning feeling of a bomb going off just a little too close to him for comfort.
He dreams of Peko and Fuyuhiko stood amongst the carnage, swords still dripping and clothes stained with ash, blood, and god knows what else. Of Sonia and Mahiru stood above a crowd as chaos and riots broke out below. Both of them in beautiful pristine dresses, freshly ironed and laundered with their hair styled to perfection. And he dreams of Kazuichi still stained with oil, but his face twisted and contorted as he looked upon his monstrosities.
But even when he opens his eyes the nightmare doesn’t end. His head throbs, and aches, and he’s pretty sure he can smell vomit coming from somewhere but he doesn’t think he wants to know where. At least not quite yet.
Instead he half crawls and half drags himself up off the couch, trying his best to steady himself with one hand on the arm rest. Motion sickness wasn’t something Hopes Peak thought he needed so the feeling has always been somewhat foreign but apparently not any more. Every slight movement of his body makes his head burn like it’s being split open yet again and his stomach sways and churns dangerously.
Whoever’s idea it was to drink needs to die right now. Murder might be frowned upon but he couldn’t care less.
Doing his best to maintain his flimsy sense of balance he creeps across the room towards the kitchen sink, searching for any kind of liquid that isn’t going to make him want to pitch himself off a cliff.
As he shuffles by, he gets a better look at his friends who are sprawled across the room. Fuyuhiko is still curled up on the couch he’d been on the night before. Someone must have gone to their room to fetch a blanket at some point because the boy is wrapped up in the fabric. Arms and legs sticking out at odd angles. He must have been too out of it properly prepare for bed as his eye patch has been knocked askew revealing the slightly gray tinted skin that surrounds Junko’s eye.
Akane had been banished from the couch some time after Fuyuhiko passed out and she’s now laid on the floor next to sofa, her hair wild and knotted but a smile still ghosting her lips. A single empty bottle of wine is still clutched in her grip as she snores loudly.
Even in spite of the copious amounts of wine she had drunk, Sonia is still somehow lying perfectly on a couch at the side of the room. She doesn’t have a blanket but her arms are neatly resting on her stomach. Gently clasping one another as if she was trying to cosplay sleeping beauty. In the back of his mind he vaguely remembers holding her hair back as she threw up into a toilet at some point, but just looking at the way her hair fans around her now it seems hard to believe.
To her side, on one of the small armchairs, is Kazuichi. He’s splayed across the armchair, his arms and legs thrown haphazardly across the place. His hair has somehow been knocked over his face, strands stretching over his face and drooping into his mouth.
Apparently at some point they decided to look through all of their old Hopes Peak files, as the contents are still scattered around the room for everyone to see. Corrections have been scrawled all over each one in red pen, not to mention the ‘artistic’ doodles of shit he assumes Akane added to every page. Just the thought of the look on Togami's face when he sees this is enough to make him grin. Years worth of one of a kind documentation straight from Hopes Peak, defiled in a single night by a gaggle of drunk young adults.
When he finally makes it over to the kitchen he sees glasses and bottles strewn everywhere. With the entire sink filled with dirty glasses - and a few charcoal covered pans that contain god knows what - he can barely even fit a glass under the tap to get water. Even so he gives it his best shot and chugs the water like his life depends on it. And then he downs another, and another, and another, until he physically can’t bring himself to take another sip.
As usual he has no idea what time it’s supposed to be right now. His gut instinct is that it’s early morning but with this amount of alcohol pumping through him he doesn’t think he would trust anything his gut is telling him right now.
Sighing to himself he drags himself away from the sink and goes into each of the dorms in search of blankets and pillows. He gathers as many in his hands as he physically can and drags them out to throw them over each of his sleeping friends. The only exception being Fuyuhiko who is already wrapped up in what appear to be Hajime’s blanket based on the bare bed he found when he stepped into his room.
Doing his best not to wake them he slips a pillow under each of their heads before stepping back to admire his handy work. Sure, they still look a million miles away from comfortable but at least it’s somewhat better than before. At least, that’s what he tells himself.
As he finished tucking Sonia in, his foot hits the corner of a file he hadn’t noticed earlier. Curiosity blazing he bends down as best he can - trying to avoid throwing up all over the room - and gently lifts the file. Flicking it open as quietly as he can.
Just like all the others it’s been lovingly annotated with red pen and the aforementioned poop drawings, but instead of being one of their folders the name inside reads: ‘Mikan Tsumiki’. Judging by the swirly cursive writing Sonia must have been annotating this one, small comments about things Hopes Peak missed out or got wrong. It's not just hers either. Looking closer he notices there’s others. Amongst the files for himself and the others are the ones for the rest of them that are still resting in the other room.
Being led on by nothing but instincts he trails around the room, slowly gathering each one. One by one they stack up in his arms until there are too many even for him. He sets each one on the kitchen table until there are sixteen piled up. Sixteen...they must have fished out Chiaki's from the bin when they grabbed his.
After making sure everyone is still asleep he flips the page and begins studying each and every page of Mikan’s file. And then Nekomaru’s. And then Teruteru’s. Each comment is short - normally more words than sentences - and yet they somehow a single one contains more information than the countless number of one he had read before this.
Nekomaru always sleeps with the window open so he can always smell and feel the fresh air. Where the file had once read: Teruteru insists on not utilising boarding facilities, it now reads: he refuses to leave when she needs him. A large chunk of Peko’s file that once listed all the things she needs to improve upon is now covered up with a list of all her favourite things in the world (number one being Fuyuhiko which based on the handwriting, he thinks Akane snuck in without the boys approval). Beside a section of Hiyoko’s file which lists all her graded live performances that year are small comments from his classmates where they described how each and every dance looked.
As he reads he can’t help but imagine how different things would have been if he hadn’t added Junko’s AI to the program. Would he have gotten to be a part of a school life just like this one with them all? Of course the old versions of them are gone - even if all of the surviving members did undo what Junko made them, they can never really be those people again. But inside the Neo World Program, even if only for a little while, they had been those people once again.
The concept of Sonia wanting to find a way to wake everyone up had seemed foolish before. A far flung dream that would only hurt them. But after everything, can he blame her. He was literally made to push the bounds of human ability. In the Neo World Program they had been lead to believe that waking up as they did would mean they could never find their way back to the people they used to be. And yet here they are.
So maybe….maybe…
There’s only one place he can go.
He doesn’t waste any time, he doesn’t even bother closing the door files around him he just sprints out of the communal area and across the hallway. It’s barely even 10 steps away and yet somehow every step feels like it lasts a life time. Every cog in his brain is turning. Thinking. Churning.
There has to be someway. Somehow. There just has to be. As Hajime he must have chosen to go through with Hope’s Peaks damn plan for a reason. They might have been useless pieces of shit but they gave him this one thing and for once he is going to make that mean something. For once Hope’s Peak needs to not let him down.
There’s no one in the room as he enters but that doesn’t stop him. He’s seen Kirigiri start this thing so many times now that he doesn’t even need to think twice before he dashes over to the terminal. It feels strange being on the other side of it for once. A million lines of codes and commands rush across the screen, overloading it with flashes of black and green. And yet, just like with everything else, it just clicks in his mind. Just like when he made the Junko AI, every line fits perfectly inside his head. Jigsaw pieces working together to build up the image in his mind.
Within seconds he’s located the right button. He has no idea if you can preemptively begin the program before you put on the headpiece but he supposes there’s only one way to find out. What’s the worst that can happen?
As pulls himself back into his bloodstained pod and holds the headpiece over him, a million worst case scenarios play inside his head. His mind getting erased. Him accidentally beginning the program for real. His mind breaking once more. The bleeding… But the longer he waits the worse the tension will be. Gritting his teeth as hard as he possibly can, he pulls the headpiece over him and immediately is swallowed into the darkness.
It turns out being dragged into a virtual reality isn’t a great cure for a hangover. Breaking news. He had no idea what would happen if he threw up in the program but he certainly didn’t want to be the one to find out. Here he was thinking the program is supposed to separate your mind from your body but the unending hangover still clings to him like a leech.
By now he’s done this so many times that the strange moment between when he enters the world and when he steps onto the island usually feels entirely familiar. However, this time that short moment when he is floating in the void before anything else has loaded in, sends a shiver down his spine. Sending his stomach spinning. It only lasts for the briefest moment, and yet he can feel every single millisecond drawn out for what feels like eternity.
He so focused on keeping his stomach settled that he barely notices Alter Ego popping up beside him, its gentle hand resting on Hajime's back.
“Are you okay? I was so worried you were still sick!” Alter Ego’s words fly out of its mouth with an unprecedented speed, like bullets firing from a machine gun.
“I’m doing peachy.” He gives a weak thumbs up and he doubles over, his hands on his knees.
“What happened?!”
Now he has to explain to the AI that he got black out drunk the night before. Of course the AI is going to judge him…
“I just - have a bit of a stomach bug. Nothing major, my own fault really. It’ll be fine by the end of the day.” He mutters, keeping his expression as flat as possible. Given he’s in the system itself he has no idea if its even possible to lie to Alter Ego but he’s certainly going to give it his best shot.
After a few minutes his stomach slowly begins to settle and the throbbing headache he had grown a little too accustomed to vanishes entirely. You know what, he might just have to stay in here for the rest of the day.
Once he’s finally regained the energy to stand upright without wanting to die Alter Ego tentatively approaches him, “Ummm, I noticed your hair has changed…” It gestures up and down dramatically as if Hajime had grown a second head or a third eye.
“Ah, so it has.”
He hadn’t even noticed the difference. Reaching up he can feel the same shirt spikey texture. Every strand perfectly mirrors the very cuts Akane had made. Down to the last strand.
Now he thinks about it, if his avatar had been uploaded as Hajime how had he appeared as Izuru in the first place? Shouldn't his hair have always appeared this way?
“How come it changed here?”
“Since the program isn’t actually running whenever you enter the program it creates an avatar from your most recent memories.” It makes sense he supposes. Where else would it get his avatar from besides his own head?
“Ummm…Kyoko mentioned what happened after you left last time.” Alter Ego mumbles cautiously, its hands knotting together in front of him, “She mentioned you weren’t doing to good but that it might be related to the memories.”
“Yeah, I think I got my memories back from the time I spent here.” He readjusts his posture, standing up a little straighter.
At this point there’s no point in trying to hide it. If he wants to get Alter Ego’s help then maybe it would actually help. Besides, this is the whole reason Alter Ego, Kirigiri, and the others are here in the first place. Who would have thought they would have been this successful?
“Really?! That’s amazing.” Alter Ego claps, beaming the entire time, “What do you need this time then if your memories are all fixed?”
“I just need to know…” The words catch in his throat as he tries to find the right way to ask them.
What can he possibly say without sounding sounding completely naive?
“…I just want to ask if there’s a way you can work with me to upload the memories saved here into their bodies.” He hardens his gaze, refusing to break eye contact with Alter Ego.
“If I could just upload them then I would have already -”
“I know, I know.” It’s not like he thought it would be an easy process but still… “What about if I helped alter the pods to jolt their bodies with an electric shock at the same moment as you try to push their memories through. If I could shut down their bodies for a moment and bring them back at the same time as their memories come through maybe it would be enough to shock their body into accepting the memories.” The slightest tinge of hope marrs his voice as he speaks.
It is a bit of an archaic idea but maybe it’s just enough to work. Turning things off and on again is statistically the most common solution to most issues. The human body has a surprising way of bouncing back after all.
“The problem is the level of trauma they’ve all been through. Their minds and memories might have been saved but that was only after they died. The amount of stress and trauma means it will be difficult to make their minds actually connect to their bodies - their brains truly believe they died. They would have to be somewhat stable for that to work in the slightest.” Alter Ego lowers its head and chews on it bottom lip as if this is somehow bad news. The only thing he hears is that it could work. If they were just able to stabilise their minds then theres a way for this to work. There’s a way for the others to come back.
“But if we could make them stable?”
He can feel his heart thundering in his chest and his arms and legs tingling to the tips of his fingers as if running on nothing but adrenaline. Alter Ego hasn’t even replied and he’s already letting his mind speed ahead. Every possibility is crashing through his mind, no idea too stupid or small to consider.
But instead of answering Alter Ego narrows his eyes, “Why, do you have an idea?”
Like a light bulb has gone off in his head he pauses, grinning to himself.
“I think I might…”
~~~
06/05 - 10:12
“I have a plan.”
Everyone is gathered in front of him at the dining table, heads hung low as they nurse glasses of water. They’re still in the same clothes from last night, hair rumpled and clothes creased awkwardly. The only person that looks mildly put together is Sonia but even her eyes are bloodshot as she cradles her head gently.
Juxtaposed to her is Akane who has completely given up, her head laid on the table. Hair is splayed in front of her mouth and it floats up gently with each of her breaths. It's a miracle it can even move that much when it's knotted and matted together.
When he woke them up and dragged them off the couches he offered no explanation - after all it was easier to explain all at once - but their glares now make him regret it.
“This better be fucking good.” Fuyuhiko glares at him before digging the heel of his palm into his eye. With his other hand he lets his fingers curl into his hair tightly, as if trying to yank it out.
“Let him speak.” While still keeping one hand against her temple, Sonia manages to hold out an arm in front of the others. It looks more like she’s trying to hold back a rabble instead of a groggy crowd of young adults.
He rests his hands on the table in front of him so he can lean forward towards them. “This is going to sound crazy, but I think I can wake up the others.”
Adrenaline is still coursing through his body at a rapid pace. He wants to scream it out. He wants to shout and cheer and let the whole world know. The others on the other hand…
“Sure you can.” Fuyuhiko shakes his head slowly, letting his hands hit the table loudly. At least the hangover has seeming burned away in the rage.
A sea of unimpressed faces. No, not unimpressed - they’re distrusting. Hopeless. After everything he doesn’t blame them. He only knew them for a few weeks in the Neo World whereas the others were all close for years. He already saw how they reacted when Sonia suggested it just a few days ago so he shouldn't be surprises but…
“Iz-Hajime, they’re brain dead…the others already explained that they’re effectively dead.” Kazuichi lowers his voice to a whisper. Tentatively explaining as if its some forbidden secret.
“Yeah, you heard ‘em. We can’t just wake ‘em up.” Even Akane uses the big sister voice on him. Much to his surprise she seems to actually be following the conversation somewhat.
If circumstances were different he would find their lack of faith offensive. His talents stand for nothing…huh? It doesn’t stand for anything to them all at least.
“What do you mean, Hajime?”
Her arm is still spread out, a shield against her three compatriots, but her other hand has dropped to her side now. Unlike the others, her face is steely. Determined. For the first time in days, she looks like the queen she is. The queen she never was.
“I know what the others said but they’re not the experts. They might be brain dead for now but all their data is still in the computer. Usami did the only thing she could and saved everyone’s data right before they died so it’s all there and waiting. I just need to jump start their minds and bodies as the system uploads the memories.” He maintains eye contact with them. Pleading that his confidence will seep through into them.
While Sonia immediately breaks into a brilliant childish grin, the others look between themselves. They’re all ringing their hands and biting their lips. Both straining to believe and holding themselves back from the edge.
“How do you know it will work?” Kazuichi's voice hitches ever so slightly. His eyes are swimming with every emotion he’s been holding back. Tittering right on the edge.
“I am the expert. The others just used the research of ultimate programmer and neurologist but I actually have their talents. I’m certain it will work.” He turn to them each, trying to hammer the point in, “Even if it doesn’t, what's the harm in trying.”
“I -” Kazuichi looks down. Every inch of himself tensed until he seems half the size.
It only looks worse when juxtaposed to Sonia beside him, “They might really wake up…” Despite the sharp angles of her face now, she looks soft and round. Colour and life has flooded back in almost instantaneously.
At least Fuyuhiko seems to be more closely aligned with Kazuichi's reaction. His expression growing steelier still. His normally rounded cheeks sharper. Tougher. If looks could kill…
“We've been told they can be brought back before. How do we know this time is any different.”
Fuyuhiko… some inexplicable part of him wants to reach forward and rest a hand on the smaller boy’s shoulder but he doesn’t. Not now. Not after everything. That isn’t what he needs right now.
“I know you’ve been burnt before but I’m not Junko. She’s proven time and time again that she’s ultimately useless. I’d have no reason to drag her life out any longer.”
“That could be a lie.” Fuyuhiko simply glares.
Hajime’s memories overwhelm him from all sides. He sees the boy who giggled like a school girl. The boy who bled for his friends and redemption multiple times. The boy with the eye patch. The lonely anxious child. The same boy who handed him a shard of their glass.
Despite everything, when he looks now, that boy from those distant memories is still sat here. Under the bags, and scars, and angles, those chubby rosy cheeks are still there. Those same cheeks that remind him so much of someone else.
“Then you’re just going to have to trust me Fuyuhiko. I was never under Junko’s influence like you were. She doesn’t have her claws dug in my psyche in any way.”
But Fuyuhiko’s expression doesn’t give an inch. Has he even blinked? Their gazes have never broken but he’s acutely aware of the other three still crowded around him. Fuyuhiko can’t be unaware either.
“Akane.” He doesn't move his head but he calls out nonetheless, “What was it you said at the very end?” He asks somewhat uncertainly. Honestly, he still has no idea if she even does remember - it could just be him and Sonia that do, but he risks the question anyway.
Something changes in Fuyuhiko’s eyes at that moment. They twitch ever so slightly. It's barely noticeable but he doesn’t miss it.
“What're you talkin’ about?” Akane finally drags her head up off the table, craning her neck back as far as she can to meet his gaze.
“Right before the Neo World Program shut down and we all returned to reality you told me something. I don’t know if you rem-”
“I said I’d beat the shit out of you if you started talkin’ crazy.” She shoots upright and puffs her chest out at the declaration. Arms fly to her hips and she gives him a shining smirk.
Still nothing. The darker more impatient part of his mind asks why he’s even trying to reason with Fuyuhiko here. In reality, it’s not even a question. No matter how he feels about the world, those memories from the Neo World program, he can’t be the one to make this choice. A few weeks in the Neo World Program is nothing compared to everything they went through in school - not to mention all the years Fuyuhiko and Peko spent together. If he wants to do this then he has to do it with everyone’s approval.
“Do you trust me Fuyuhiko?”
Silence.
Fuyuhiko's soft green eye still doesn’t drift. Hajime gets the distinct impression the boy is trying to read him. Slowly and methodically deciphering every line. He wants to believe there’s still some hope in Fuyuhiko somewhere. Some part of his mind where he can never truly let Peko go. He can still see the last moments Fuyuhiko and Peko shared together in his mind. After listening to how Sonia explained love he struggles to believe Fuyuhiko could ever walk away from this.
Sure enough, the smaller boy takes a huge gulp of his water before smashing it back down onto the table with as much force as he can. Him, Akane, Sonia, and Kazuichi all sit there, frozen and silent waiting for Fuyuhiko to finally speak. Hanging off his every word.
“What do we have to do then?” Fuyuhiko growls but that doesn’t stop them all from smiling.
Hajime wipes the smile off his face and curls his hands into fist, pressing even harder into the table. Now isn’t the time to celebrate - now is the time to get to work.
Everyone, even Akane, listens with rapt attention as he begins going through all the steps they’re going to need to take to make this work. As he’s explaining Sonia grabs a nearby pencil and sheet of paper, writing out a neat to-do list.
1. Modify the pods
2. Create an AI to assist Alter Ego in stabilising each of them
3. Finding a way to coordinate with Alter Ego from outside the program
4. Stopping and then restarting each of their classmates hearts in turn
It looks so short when they have it written out like this. Just four nice little steps. All so simple. And yet…
“Okay, how the fuck are we going to do any of this?” Fuyuhiko crosses his arms tightly.
“Well Kazuichi can modify the pods and I can build the AI,” The ‘I’ve done it before’ goes unsaid, “but we need someone to deal with coordination and we need people to help actually carry out the process when we do it.”
“Ah, is that all?” Fuyuhiko scoffs with false bravado but its not fooling anyone in the room. No matter how hard he tries to hide it, they can still make out the rapid pace of his chest rising and falling. Sure, he could pretend his pallid skin is from the hangover but it most certainly wasn’t there a few minutes ago.
“That’s all.” He says it as casually as he can because he’s fully aware of how insane this all sounds.
For all he knows the second they attempt this it will go horribly wrong and they’ll never be able to fix it. The calculations and logic should settle his dancing stomach but they are doing very little to help. At a certain point he just has to rely on hope. He chuffs to himself - oh if Junko could see them now.
“I must say that I do not quite understand how this will all work but it is more than we have had so far.” Sonia gives them all an encouraging nod. Her hand is still subconsciously moving up and down the list, as if trying to print every word onto her skin.
“Me neither. You and Kazuichi just gotta tell me whatcha need me ta do.” Akane folds her arms and leans back in her chair.
Realistically he isn’t sure what Akane can do - especially now when she can’t even lift heavy things for them. Regardless he gives her a firm nod. Surely they’ll be able to find something.
“I don’t know how much I can really do but I’ll do my best.” He can see Kazuichi’s smile wobble with every word. As he speaks he twists a single lock of hair tightly around his finger, subtly pulling on it. It must be pulled incredibly tightly as the skin around the lock has turned harsh white.
“You’re the ultimate mechanic, I’m sure you’ll be able to do it.” They aren’t his most convincing words but for now they will have to do. Knowing Kazuichi the only way he’ll be truly convinced is when he begins pulling it apart himself and gets lost in the moment. Hajime’s job is just to bring him to the machines to get started.
All of them - even Fuyuhiko - happily sit there, divvying up the roles between them as they decide what needs to be done and when it needs to be done. Sonia agrees to coordinate with Alter Ego since, after him and Kazuichi, she is probably the best with computers. It turns out the Novoselic royal curriculum covers almost everything under the sun. Before they’ve even set off to start working she’s already started coming up with a laundry list of ideas in her little notebook.
Although Hajime offers to be the one dealing with killing and reviving their classmates - how could he ask anyone else to push the button - Akane steps forward, volunteering herself. Should he have shut her down? Maybe. But instead he notes her name down beside his own. He could refuse but it is probably better for two of them to do it so he keeps his mouth shut. They’ll cross that bridge when they come to it.
Without much else to do, Fuyuhiko agrees to work as an assistant for Kazuichi. It might be grunt work but he doesn’t seem all that bothered by the thought. Grunt work is still work after all.
“So when are we supposed to start?” Sonia asks as she gently tucks her pen behind her ear. Pinning her hair back with it haphazardly so strands stick awkwardly out place.
“The sooner the better, right?” Kazuichi clears his throat, straightening up clenching his jaw tightly.
Given how long they have already been ‘dead’ it probably is best they sort it out as soon as possible. If they’re already unstable when they die then how bad would it get after a few days or weeks? But is it really fair for him to put all this pressure on everyone? He’s already been pushing some of them into this. What if the added pressure only makes them work less effectively?
No, if they’re going to do this and be successful then he needs to be honest. There will be time to worry about these guys when they’ve sorted out their sleeping classmates.
“Yes. The longer they’re in that state, the harder it will become.”
Sonia tentatively raises her hand like they actually are in a classroom, “I know we probably do not want to be thinking about this but: who should we be waking first?”
Sucking in a deep breath, he looks around the table. His eyes catch on Fuyuhiko who is biting his lip, head turned to one side to study the inside of his now empty glass. It must be taking everything he has to stay quiet. Peko. Gundham. Nekomaru. Mahiru. Ibuki. The names flash through his mind relentlessly. But no matter what anyone wants he can’t pick and choose, there is only one logical and fair choice.
“We should wake up Bya - I mean, the Ultimate Imposter first.” He answers firmly, leaving no room for argument.
He half expects someone to speak up and try to change his mind but instead they all nod. Not one of them even shows the slightest hint of resentment. Of course they wouldn’t, they were their friend too. No matter who they wake up, its still going to be one of their friends.
“That makes sense. They were the first one to die right? That means them and Teruteru have been in that state for the longest so they need to be brought back the fastest.” Kazuichi mumbles, leaning back in his chair until the front two legs are lifted off the ground and he is resting all his weight on the back two.
“Well, if that’s sorted I’m goin’ ta bed. I’m gonna need energy for the upcomin’ battle. Come get me when ya ready..” Akane yawns softly, stretching her arms up. As she slides out from her chair she offers them a toothy grin and begins hobbling back to her room, walker once again in hand.
Almost as if she’s running after the gymnast, Sonia jumps up from her chair and runs across the kitchen to grab an apple from a fruit bowl on the counter, “Before you head to bed take one of these. As you said, we need you at full power for the next few days and perish the thought we eat them all before you had a chance to have one.”
Although she frames it as an offer she doesn’t give Akane any chances to refuse. Before she can even get a word out Sonia has thrown the apple across the room. Fortunately either luck or reflexes kick in just in time to save Akane from getting pelted right in the middle of her face.
“M‘kay, thanks.” Akane tilts her head slowly but keeps a tight hold of the apple anyway. It’s progress…progress…
Although they all go back to finalising ideas as Akane shuffles away, each and every one of them refuse to turn away until the door has sealed behind her.
Without having her directly in his line of sight he can feel his stomach drop slightly but he does his best to pull himself together. Her wanting to go to sleep and taking the apple are good signs - she needs to be looking after herself and she had been exhausted yesterday even before the drinking began.
Rubbing his face, Kazuichi is the next one to get up. He stretches wide and runs his hands through his hair one last time before speaking, “Well, if time is important then I’ll grab my stuff now. I can start seeing what I can do.” Walking around the table he grabs onto the back of Fuyuhiko’s shirt and drags him up, “You can help me bring stuff.”
“Fine, fine. You don’t need to drag me along fuck-face.” Fuyuhiko slaps Kazuichi’s hands away and straightens his collar but follows Kazuichi along anyway.
With all the others gone, Sonia and Hajime gather up the papers and stock up on some snacks. The kitchen is barely even a stones throw away but there’s no harm in coming prepared with food - especially when they’re all still nursing churning stomachs. Sonia helps stack his arms up with any food that doesn’t need to be prepared and they make the short trek across the hall.
As they wait for Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi to reappear they drag an extra chair over to the desk, setting up their work station with snacks coating the desk completely. Okay, maybe it was a little much but knowing Sonia and Kazuichi’s work ethic when they get in the zone he wouldn’t be surprised if the inside of this room soon becomes very familiar.
Once the snacks have been ‘appropriately’ laid out, they finally take their seats behind the computer, once again staring into the bright flashing lines of code currently being monitored on the screen.
Sonia is resting her head in her hands, leaning over the keyboard quietly. Every ounce of energy drained out of her at once.
“Are you okay Sonia?” He tentatively taps her back in what he hopes is a soothing way, “You don’t need to be here right now. You can take a nap and I’ll get you when you can start working.”
“No, it is fine. I just forgot how painful computers can be on the eyes. My headache does not appreciate it very much.” She tries to wave it off casually but unfortunately he knows her too well by now.
But before he can drag her away from the desk, a figure comes running past, almost missing the doorway and slamming into the frame. Sonia jumps, almost knocking the chair backwards as she guards against their newest intruder. However, in less than a second both her and Hajime relax. Raising their eyebrows as none other than Naegi himself stumbles into the room. He bends over, resting his hands on his knees, as he pants loudly.
“Ah, you’re here. I was just coming to speak to you.” He just about manages to say the words between heavy breaths. Even from across the room Hajime can see the thin layer or sweat that’s coating his exposed skin.
He shares a tense look with Sonia, both of them stiffening uncomfortably at Naegi’s appearance. Sure, he might not be the biggest fan of the guy and he normally wouldn’t care that much about him being around, but this time its different. If this somehow manages to be good news then he’ll eat his own shirt. Naegi isn’t exactly the type to go racing around the facility for no reason.
“What is wrong? Are the future foundation on their way?” Sonia clings to the edge of the desk, her knuckles turning white as she squeezes the life out of it. He wishes he could write it off as nothing but her over analysing, but…
“Not quite but it's related to that. Where are the others? I need to speak to everyone.” Naegi barely even looks at them, instead searching the room as if Akane, Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi are just hiding under the furniture waiting to jump out at him.
“Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko will be here soon. Akane is resting in bed and it’s probably not a good idea to wake her up again.”
“That’s okay. You can explain the situation later when she’s awake.” Naegi nods and that seems to be enough to settle his breathing ever so slightly.
However, even as they wait patiently for the others to finish whatever they are doing in Kazuichi’s room (I mean, how long does it take to grab some tools and materials?), Naegi refuses to sit down or rest. Instead he paces back and forth slowly. Even though before her head had been dropping, now Sonia is sat up fully alert, carefully observing every single step Naegi takes. Between the two of them it's an absolute relief when Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko finally decide to grace them with their presence once more.
Both of them are carrying large cardboard boxes which jingle and rattle with every step. Have they just settled on bringing every single scrap of metal from the rooms? He must say, the wait wasn’t worth it.
“Hey guys, I wasn’t sure what -” Kazuichi saunters in until he finally catches sight of Naegi pacing awkwardly. At once he stops in his tracks, staring as if he had stumbled upon a dead body, “Ummmm…Naegi?”
“What the fuck are you doing here?! Did something happen?” Fuyuhiko slams the box down, scowling at Naegi as if whatever is going on is somehow his fault specifically.
Both of them slowly creep towards him and Sonia by sticking to the wall, putting as much space between them and Naegi as is physically possible. If you accidentally stumbled upon the room you wouldn’t be crazy to assume Naegi was infected with some deadly contagious disease.
“He has not told us yet.” Sonia mutters as Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko join them in their secluded corner of the room.
They must look an absolute state right now, huddled together like children with bloodshot eyes, day old clothes and haggard faces. A far cry from the formidable faces they’d been just a few weeks ago.
“I’m sorry, I just wanted everyone to be here for the conversation.”
Patience rapidly running out, Hajime spits out the question they’ve all been demanding the answer to, “What happened?”
Before Naegi can even answer his mind has already run through a million ideas. Maybe it’s not what they’re all expecting, perhaps something is going on out in the wider world. Who knows maybe they’ve just been cut off from their supply of spices. Why does it have to be bad news? It’s a stupid question of course but just for a few seconds he’s allowed to indulge in those thoughts.
Of course, it could never be that easy though.
“The future foundation has made it’s move. They’ve called for a trial -” Naegi can’t finish his sentence before Fuyuhiko steps forwards, forming a wall between them and Naegi. He has no idea what Fuyuhiko thinks he’s going to accomplish but he can’t exactly blame him.
“Well we’re not fucking going! They’re just going to find us guilty and kill us.” Fuyuhiko shouts over Naegi, spitting the words across the room at the younger boy.
He wants to disagree but they already know exactly how the organisation functions. They’ve been out for blood for years now, they won’t pull back at the last second. Blood is in the water and the sharks are circling. ‘Fair trial’ isn’t exactly in their repitoire. Besides, even if it was a fair trial would thar change anything? They really did do all those things that they're being accused of.
However, much to his surprise, Naegi shakes his head and waves his hands frantically, “No, no! Not for you guys. They’ve demanded I stand trial for going against the organisations orders.”
“You? Wh…I don’t…but that makes no sense.” Kazuichi splutters, blinking rapidly.
No sense? Not quite. While he never actually infiltrated the organisation himself he didn’t need to to know personal loyalty isn’t one of their mottos.
“No, it does. They’ve never really liked me and this is their chance to try and deal with me. It makes sense.” Naegi mumbles, scratching the back of his neck as if he had merely been called into the head masters office. He does realise what the stakes are if they actually do choose to arrest him, right? It’s not like he has had the highest opinion of the ‘ultimate hopes’ intelligence but this would be a whole new low. Hope and trust is one thing, but at what point does it become outright naevity? Even that word is too generous.
Hajime slowly gets up off his chair, gently pushing Fuyuhiko to one side so he can properly address Naegi, “Well what are you going to do? You’re not going to let them arrest you or kill you.” He folds his arms tightly, doing his best to supress a scowl.
If it was just Naegi’s life and well being on the line then that would be one thing - after all, you can’t control what someone wants to do with their own life - but all of them rely on him too. They might not admit it but he’s almost certain that Naegi’s classmates rely on him just as much. Surely it is far dumber to just lay down on the wire and take what is dished out.
“I’m not too sure yet. I’m not just going to let them arrest me for no reason but I haven’t figured out the best plan yet. I am - no, we are - going to leave now though. The longer we stay here and ignore them, the bigger the chance that they’re going to get impatient and storm this place themselves. If we leave and enter discussions then we can probably stall them for a few days or weeks, depending on how lucky we are.”
He wants to disagree. He wants to tell Naegi this is all absolutely stupid but how can he? Short of actually taking down the organisation - he has a sneaking suspicion that’s not an option for these guys - there isn’t much more that can be done. Nothing that will please both parties at least. So they’re all just going to have to sit here and pray that the foundation isn’t feeling particularly blood thirsty at the moment. That sounds…safe…
“But they will still eventually come for us.” Kazuichi finishes the thought succinctly. It’s not exactly new information, they knew this from day one, but having it finally placed on a timeline feels somewhat different. He can finally see the guillotine hanging over each of their necks.
“Yes. If they’ve issued this arrest warrant then its clear they’re getting impatient. Sooner or later they will be coming for you guys. I can delay them but not stop them.”
“Of course…” He doesn’t even need to be looking at Fuyuhiko to be able to hear the eye roll.
“Look, we all caught snippets of what you guys are planning. You deserve a chance to get to save your classmates. If I -” For the first time since that first killing game Hajime gets a glimpse behind the smiling mask of hope. Regret and grief and even maybe a little bit of despair clings to him like a ghost. Wrapping itself around him tightly. Even the ‘ultimate hope’ is not completely immune it seems.
But within a second it has been brushed away. Once more the firm and smiling has been pulled back on. The shadows and darkness are chased away. No, not quite…they still lie there, patiently waiting beneath the surface.
“We will do everything in our power to draw their attention away for as long as possible but the sooner you can get it done the better.” Naegi keeps his smile strong the entire time. Pure hope personified once again. It’s surprisingly sickening.
For as long as possible. They’d have to be insanely lucky to even be able to get a few days out of this insane gambit. He finds himself bringing up the image of Nagito. They could really do with some of his messed up luck right now, he mutters to himself. According to Hopes Peak he should have been given the very same talent as the boy but it certainly hasn’t felt that way. Maybe just this once though… They deserve it this one time.
Examining the faces of his friends around him, he’s not greeted by the same kind of desperate hope though. The desperation maybe but nothing else. Fear running hot through each and every one of them. Any kind of positivity they were feeling just a few minutes ago as they came in here has been promptly washed away.
“How the hell are we supposed to know if something goes wrong though?!” Fuyuhiko growls, his already sickly pale skin only getting lighter and lighter. Even his usually bright flushed cheeks have been successfully drained, leaving nothing but grey and white behind.
“We have arranged for the doctors who were working with us before to return. If anything happens or if they arrest me then Kyoko has ways of secretly contacting those doctors. They will let you know if you need to leave this place but unless you hear anything it is probably safer to stay here.”
He can feel his heart beat steadily growing faster and faster but he resolves himself. Softly evening out his breathing as much as possible. Just like before they’re just going to be sitting here. There’s nothing they can do. Their entires lives and futures sitting in the palm of Naegi and the others. It’s not like he felt free here but at least for a little while he could pretend they had some say in what happened. It was just a pipe dream though.
Ripples of discontent and terror move through the room like a plague. It’s not just Fuyuhiko, Kazuichi’s leg bounces loudly as he hisses at Naegi, “And just wait like sitting ducks?”
“They have eyes everywhere. It’s better to be here where we can hide you rather than out there where you could accidentally stumble into their hands.” He doesn’t miss the way Naegi’s voice slows and lowers, as if he was pleading with toddlers rather than fully developed adults. But before Hajime can get too angry, Naegi throws something small and white at him without any warning, “Take this, it will give you access to the rest of the building in case you need to leave or find any other supplies.”
He turns the small card over in his hand as delicately as he can manage as if a single wrong touch will suddenly cause it to explode. Of course, it’s not like they even really need it - not when they have tools - but the gesture sends a shot of warmth through him anyway. They all know its more symbolic than anything else.
“Thank you...” Sonia mumbles weakly. The words are so soft that he’s not even sure if Naegi can hear them.
“I know we have put you on a time crunch here but I am certain you’ll be able to help your friends. Don’t lose hope because of this, we’re all fighting for you even if it doesn’t always seem like it.” Naegi stands tall but Hajime doesn’t miss the way he glances over at each of the pods in turn.
He wants to not believe the boy but he simply can’t sense any dishonestly. He’s almost too pure. When he’d first woken up he hadn’t quite understood how this boy had taken down Junko but he gets it now.
“I doubt this will mean much to you of all people, but I believe in you too. If anyone can make them see sense it is probably you.” Hajime thinks back on the everything that happened in that first killing game. The way Naegi had managed to wrangle everyone - even Togami and Fukawa - under one banner. At this point it would probably be dumber for him not to put some faith in the guy. At least a little.
“Ka - Hinata…”
He quickly raises a hand cutting Naegi off, “It’s not a compliment. It’s an observation. Look at everything you’ve already done. I doubt the future foundation can be reasoned with but if anyone could it would probably be you.”
“Thank you. It seems we’ll both need all the luck we can get.”
It’s only then that Hajime remembers he too had once been known as the ultimate lucky student just like Nagito and supposedly himself. By now he doesn’t underestimate the power of luck, let’s just hope that Hope’s Peak was right giving him that title.
None of them say anything more as Naegi vanishes, probably slipping away down the sealed stairway. In fact they don’t even speak after the sounds of his footsteps have long since faded away. Instead they all tense and dive straight into their work. No one is sleeping tonight.
Chapter 13: 7th of May
Summary:
Hajime and the others begin working on their plan to help the others wake
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
07/05 - 10:41
Yawning, Hajime rubs his eyes, stretching his arms out as far as he can while staying rooted into his chair. The myth about getting square eyes from staring at a screen might not be real but his headache most certainly is. The desk is covered in wrappers and crumbs, slowly eating away at more and more of his work space. Even so he does nothing to clear them away. Is there a point in trying?
After their discussion everyone had stuck around like a foul odor. Even Akane had stumbled back over after an hour or so ago, somehow looking ten times more rested and more exhausted than everyone else in the room simultaneously. He isn’t exactly surprised but having all four of them drifting about isn't as helpful as they seem to think. Hours had gone by and not one of them dared leave for sleep, food, or even the toilet. Turns out it was a smart idea for Sonia and him to get all stocked up after all.
To their credit, they keep their distance - or as much as is possible in the limited space. Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko have stuck to their little corner as they tear apart what had once been Kazuichi's chamber. As usual their mess hasn’t exactly been contained as it slowly creeps further and further out. An encroaching storm which somehow creeps closer every time he looks away. However, when judging it by Kazuichi's normal standards it could be worse. People can still move around the room at least which is a start.
Akane and Sonia on the other hand have been trapped, slowly dying of boredom. It’s not like there’s any space around the chamber for them to get involved and he’s been hogging the computer for hours now. Without any place to be they both crashed out, legs pressed together and backs against Nekomaru's chamber. Wires just barely hover above their heads and small scraps of metal and plastic surround them but they stay unmoving. Sonia’s head has lolled sightly as her eyelids flutter closed, resting against Akane’s shoulder. So familiar and new at the same time.
A smile crooks on his lips but he makes sure to look back down at the computer before any of them can notice. Okay, maybe it’s not so bad having them hanging around here.
He shakes his head, going back to work. He needs to do this. The methodical and repetitive work is a pain in his ass but it will be worth it. It will be worth it. Seeing Akane and Sonia sat there together only reinforces that.
“Should we wake her up?” Fuyuhiko leans forward, craning his neck to look around the chambers at both her and Akane.
“I’m still awake.” He doesn’t think her groan is as convincing as she thinks it is though. Thankfully she has Akane next to her, ready to smooth down her mildly rumpled hair.
The back of Sonia's hand rubs against her still closed eyes. She seems to shy away from the light and the rest of the world. Sleep still clings to her tightly.
At least it does for a few seconds until a shout bellows across the room, “Ha! I've got it!” Kazuichi cackles with the kind of insanity that comes with hours of sleep deprivation. As he cries out his arms go flying into the air, narrowly avoiding smacking Fuyuhiko in the head with a wrench. Knowing Kazuichi it’s impossible to tell whether he simply forgot he was holding it or if he just forgot other people were around.
“Stop waving that thing everywhere. You’re gonna fucking kill someone!” Fuyuhiko instantly stills Kazuichi's arm, clamping down on his wrist with an iron grip.
No one else gives it a second thought though. Instead they both launch themselves forwards, trying to get a better look. Closing in on Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi without missing a beat.
“You did it?!” Sonia gasps, eyes wide and alert instantaneously.
Akane claps him on the back sending him jolting forwards, “Way to go!”
“We haven’t tested it yet but it should work.” Kazuichi's voice might sound firm and unwavering but Hajime doesn’t miss the way he pulls at his nails.
“Take the win.” Fuyuhiko chuffs, offering a small smile.
“Yeah. Now we need to start working on the actual machines.”
Starting with the nearest machine, they get to work. Fuyuhiko sat cross legged on the floor with Kazuichi as Akane and Sonia hover around them. Each one ready to pounce as soon as Kazuichi asks for help.
He can’t help but feel a little jealous as he sits off on the corner away from everyone else. They aren’t even talking to each other and yet there's something enviable about the fluid way they move around each other. All four people working toward a common goal.
He shakes his head and drags his attention back to this computer. This AI needs to be sorted as soon as possible. Even if they get all the chambers modified it will mean nothing if he hasn’t done his job.
Focusing in, he shuts himself off from everything else. He has certainly made progress over the last few hours but even using a base it is taking longer than he would like given the time frame they have. It’s not like he can take shortcuts though - not when he’s going to be uploading this into his friends consciousnesses to stabilise them. While he is most certainly not trying to repeat the Junko fiasco, using a base framework is as close to a short cut as he has.
Unlike last time there wasn’t a required person to build off of so he chose the only person that would make sense: himself. Who better to take on whatever the Neo World Program can throw at him than him? Besides, with the Neo World Program here, he has direct access to his own consciousness which isn’t at all weird to think about…
Like a switch has been flicked in his brain he finds himself being drawn deeper and deeper into his world until everything in the room around him has drifted out of focus. Does an hour pass? Does two? He no longer has to put effort in to try and distract himself from Kazuichi and the others. All that exists is code. Only as he puts the finishing touches on the AI does he finally lean back in his chair, allowing more of the world to come into focus.
As he blinks away the blurriness he finds his head spins uncomfortably. Even as he reaches across the desk for the USB drive he sees non existent code floating around in the air. Okay, he might have spent too long working on this now… Nevertheless he holds the USB tighter, he can deal with his brain another time.
But before he actually plugs it in he pauses. This is the same drive he had used last time… Of course Alter Ego had been clear that the previous AI had been completely destroyed - it had already check the device over a thousand times - and yet a lump still rises in his throat. What would the other say if they knew he still had this? Let alone what they would think of him using it now. Good thing they aren’t going to know, he mumbles to himself as he finally commits. The USB stick slides in with ease and just like that, it’s done.
He makes sure to check the AI is fully installed again and again and again. You can never be too safe. Imagine going through all this work just to fail at the last hurdle.
When he finally removes the fully completed drive he cradles it his hands with all the tenderness he can muster. Around him he’s faintly aware of the others still huddled together, surrounded by chaos, but he walks past them without a second look. His cross hairs are aimed on the spot beside his pod, nothing else in the world matters except this one thing.
In the chaos and desperation of everything not one of them have bothered updating Alter Ego but he hopes receiving the input from the same spot as last time will be enough of a sign for the other AI - it’s not like it will a complete surprise after all. Let's just hope it's smart enough to put the pieces together.
“You okay?” A voice mutters as a hand suddenly rests on his shoulder, snapping him back to the world around him. The voice alone is enough to tell him it's Akane and yet her voice sounds different. Tender. Or at least as tender as it can be coming from Akane. It's only with the weight of her hand that he notices her at all…was he really that far gone?
“Hm?” He frowns, shaking his head clear, “Oh, yeah.”
“You sure, you looked like you were sleep walkin’ or somethin’.”
His hands tighten into fists, “I just finished the AI, it’s been installed now.”
Silence crackles across the room. No one dares even breathe. Even Kazuichi has stopped working for a brief moment, even if he doesn't look up.
“Already?” Fuyuhiko is the first one to break the silence.
“Woah, I thought you were gonna be at that for days!” Akane grins, shaking his shoulder vigorously until his brain has been thoroughly crushed against his skull.
“I’ve had experience and I used a base so it wasn’t too bad.” He tries to explain it as simply as he can. It’s not like there’s any point in getting into details.
“Either way that’s fucking amazing!”
He finally fully takes in the room around him. Not much has really changed in the last few hours. They seem to have moved on to the next chamber though, their materials slowly migrating over bit by bit. Slow work, but seeing any progress feels like a victory at this point.
“I think we all deserve a break at this point!” Sonia claps her hands gently, calmly commanding attention from everyone around her.
He wants to disagree, they’re making such good progress, but his stomach decides to be a traitor. Without any warning it begins growling angrily, not leaving any room for misinterpretation.
“I get what you’re saying Sonia but -” Fuyuhiko tries to make an argument but it appears Sonia wasn’t asking.
“Come, we ran out of food a while ago now.” She skips over, linking her arms through Akane and Hajime's until they’re locked in place.
“Sonia -” Akane tries to wriggle free but it only makes Sonia tug harder.
“No.” She chides them with a firm but warm voice, “If we all burn out then we will be less effective workers. If we want to do our best then we must take care of ourselves.”
And that is the last say anyone gets in the conversation.
~~~
07/05 - 21:56
“What would people like to eat?” Sonia hums as she potters about the room, thoroughly scouting every surface and cupboard.
“At this point I’ll take anything.” Fuyuhiko grumbles, laying his head on the table.
No matter how much Fuyuhiko had tried he couldn’t escape Sonia’s grasp. It seems by now he’s just decided to accept his fate. The only one she allowed to stay behind was Kazuichi - his persuasive argument about their friends being the deciding factor. Hajime suspects she hasn’t quite given up yet though
Sonia doesn’t need any more prompting than that before she’s begun fixing up some tea for everyone, humming peacefully the entire time. Thankfully the gods are with them today as she refrains from cooking, just throwing some more snacks their way instead. Although it’s mostly fruit and cookies, she has somehow located a hidden stash of mochi that are evenly distributed between them.
Elegance isn’t ever the sort of thing he considers when eating but this time any semblance of that goes out of the window as he practically swallows his food whole. At his side Akane is still barely nibbling on her mochi and Fuyuhiko is playing with his food but he doesn’t have the energy to worry about being self conscious.
Only once he’s finished his food does he finally start talking to break up the quiet, “How much progress did you make then?”
“We finished modifying Hiyoko’s chamber and we have made good progress on Nekomaru’s.” Sonia explains patiently between sips of tea.
Looking at the time now that must mean they’ve spent about about six hours on each one, which would mean it’ll take another forty eight hours to get each one done without a break. Given what they’re doing that should be impressive but he can’t help but feel somewhat disappointed. Every second that passes is a second wasted.
“It’s taking ages and were really not helping.” Fuyuhiko sighs deeply, still spinning his apple about on the table.
“Well it's better than sittin’ here and doin’ nothin’.” Akane subtly shoves her mochi to one side, leaning back in her chair casually until only two legs remain on the ground.
“Akane has a point. As long as we are making progress we should be happy.”
Happy? Is that really good enough?
If only they had more hands to help. Even if he helps then between them that’s still twenty four hours.
Wait a second…
“Actually, I might have an idea, come with me.”
Despite how appealing the food had been before, he wastes no time jumping out of his chair and running back over to Kazuichi. Distantly behind him he can hear the others slowly making their way over, all of their arms overflowing with snacks.
“Kazuichi, can I get a look at that?” He peers over Kazuichi’s shoulder cautiously.
“Um, sure.” Kazuichi mumbles blearily.
Not wasting a second he drinks in all the information he can, studying every modification Kazuichi has made. He might as well just be downloading it straight into his mind. Even as he watches, Kazuichi's hands never stop moving.
“What’s goin’ on?” Akane grumbles as she sets the food down on the desk with the others.
“I’m going to teach you all how to modify the chambers. That way we'll have more people working and we'll be finished sooner.” He explains with a firm and steady voice.
Fuyuhiko, Akane, and Sonia all stare at him with their mouths wide open. Not a single shred of belief in any of them.
“This isn’t a good idea. We're going to screw it up.” Fuyuhiko waves his arms vigorously but if he thinks that’s going to dissuade Hajime then he's wrong.
“With that attitude you are.”
Rolling up his sleeves he sits himself in front of the furthest machine from Kazuichi, Ibuki's machine. There’s no way to stop them from being loud and distracting but hopefully if they’re as far as possible it’ll be somewhat okay. It’s the most they can do.
Despite their complaints, each of them trail after him, crowding around as he sits cross-legged in front of the machine. There aren’t a huge amount of tools in this place but he managed to get a hammer and screwdriver from Kazuichi's pile at least.
“Are you sure this is a good idea, Hajime?” Sonia mumbles as she fiddles with her hands in her lap.
“I’m sure. Kazuichi has already done all the hard work, you just need to remember the steps.”
They’re all still frowning but not one of them makes another complaint. Instead they all watch with rapt attention, Sonia bringing out her notebook and pen once more.
He does his best to break down each step as easily as he can, simplifying the process as much as possible. After every explanation and demonstration he has them take turns in front of the machine as he corrects their movements. It’s not fast work but he would be lying if he said there was no progress made.
Unsurprisingly Sonia seems to click with the concept much faster than the others. Machines are like second nature to her. Her hands fly across the wires with ease, connecting everything without a second thought.
Fuyuhiko and Akane on the other hand aren’t quite…naturals.
“This is a stupid idea.” Fuyuhiko growls again like a toddler having a tantrum, “How the fuck are you supposed to connect these damn wires again?!”
Over the last few hours his face has slowly become more and more red. Even his veins are beginning to pop.
“Here, like this.” Sonia gently takes the wires from him, connecting them with ease.
Akane leans in close as they both watch Sonia do her best to break the steps down to Fuyuhiko, “Were doin’ shit at this, ain’t we?” She whispers under her breath.
He folds his arms, his brow tensing, “You and Fuyuhiko are at least.” That’s enough to make Akane crack a laugh.
“Your wastin’ your time here. We should be gettin’ on with other stuff.”
“No, we’re making progress. I’m certain Sonia will be able to do this.” He nods resolutely.
He’s under no illusions about Fuyuhiko and Akane’s talents but if at least Sonia can grasp this then there will be three of them to spread the work between. Forty eight hours can basically become sixteen. If anything is worth it then that is.
Although he gives it his best shot, by the time they’ve finished Ibuki's machine Fuyuhiko and Akane are still no where near as confident as he needs them to be. Putting them in front of one of these on their own might just send them over the edge.
Sonia on the other hand, “I thought this would be more difficult. It truly is as you said, Kazuichi had done the hard work for us.” She never once stops beaming.
For once her perfect hair has been well and truly messed up. Smatterings of oil and grease speckle her hair and grime is streaked down her face. Nevertheless she looks in no hurry to sort herself out. He can’t tell if she simply hasn’t notice or if she couldn’t care less.
“Speak for yourself.” Fuyuhiko folds his arms and frowns grouchily.
“Sonia, I think you’ve gotten the hang of this by now.” He rests a hand on her shoulder encouragingly which causes her to swell up with pride.
“You think so!”
“Of course. All three of you should work together on one of the other machines, that way Akane and Fuyuhiko can support you.”
They could sit Akane and Fuyuhiko's support between everyone but realistically him and Kazuichi can both work perfectly well on their own. Even if Sonia did do well, what’s the harm in giving her a bit more support? Just in case…
“I will do my best.”
He quickly points her towards two of the other machines to one side. As they had been working Kazuichi had finished up Nekomaru's and moved onto Mahiru's meaning now there’s basically only six machines left at this point (discounting Ibuki's and Mahiru's, assuming it’s basically done). With such a small number left they can all take two and they'll be done before they know it. He gives himself the two nearest ones, Nagito and Gundham while they take on Peko and Mikan. That leaves Kazuichi with Teruteru and the Ultimate Imposter - once he properly finishes Mahiru's anyway.
Each of them filter away to their spots, silence falling upon the room. Tension has never been higher but that’s not going to stop him from doing the best work he can. Every muscle in his body is crying out for sleep but pure adrenaline is coursing through his blood stream.
Two more machines...
Notes:
This chapter would technically go past midnight in their time but whateverrrrr, it's not like it matters...right?
Chapter 14: 8th of May
Summary:
Progress starts to be made as they brace themselves for the new arrivals.
Chapter Text
08/05 - 03:42
Night comes and goes in a blink. While he’s trapped behind the computer, Sonia, Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi have slowly begun spreading across the room. One by one by one by one the chambers are altered until they're down to their last two. Nagito and Peko lay before them both as still as the rest of the class. It doesn't quite click for him that these are the last two left to do. The finish line is right there in front of them when it had felt miles away just the day before. To think all it took was two sleepless nights to get all of this sorted…
As they whittled it down to the last few people Fuyuhiko had shifted over to assist Kazuichi, keeping up their already comfortable working pattern. With Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko tackling Peko’s pod, Sonia and Akane had joined him to finish up Nagito. He does his best to find ways for them to get involved so they’re doing something other than hovering over him, staring at his every movement.
And yet, even as he attaches the last piece to Nagito's head piece, it feels like a marathon awaits. His idle hands now drop back to his side as he steps back and admires their handiwork. Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko are completely absorbed in their work beside him, not even looking up for a second.
However, Sonia and Akane have no such reservations. Like hawks, they immediately look up as he steps away. Their expectation heavy with every look.
"Are you done?" Sonia asks, her voice rising energetically.
Before he's even spoken she's jumped up to peer into Nagito's chamber. Akane isn't so quick on the draw but she eventually trails behind Sonia. Her hands clench around the edge of the chamber as she rests all her weight against it. She’s only been getting slower and slower as the hours pass by. Her once dexterous and precise hands fumbling with every wire and bolt until it was just safer to keep her far far away.
Hajime swallows down the lump now lodged in his throat. It's done. It's done. It's done. He doesn't doubt his own abilities - how could he - but to have the end so very close…
"Are you nearly done too Kazuichi?" Sonia's chirp snaps him back to reality.
She's skipped away from Nagito with ease to brush the hair out of Peko's face. Every inch of her face is flushed and alive despite the growing bags lining her eyes. Is it possible for a smile to be larger than that? The thought scares him.
Kazuichi doesn't say anything as he bites the inside of his cheek. His hands stay steady as he methodically works through the process Hajime had taught him. If Hajime didn't know better he'd think Kazuichi didn't know Sonia even existed. It doesn't appear to matter to Sonia though who stays right by Peko’s side until Kazuichi finally falls still and steps away.
"Not yet but it shouldn’t be too long though.” Even now he doesn't look up to meet Hajime’s eyes, his hands never once stopping moving.
Part of him wants to jump in to offer any kind of help, but he holds himself back. More hands aren’t the solution to every problem. Too many cooks in the kitchen and all that… For now it will be faster if they just give the mechanic some space.
"We’re almost there…?" Akane mumbles feverishly. Her eyes have grown glassy as she stares down at Nagito beneath her.
"Yes…we are." He mumbles, blinking rapidly.
The announcement should feel like a celebration. A victory cry. And yet he feels sick to his stomach. Every time he closes his eyes he half expects to wake up in his bed again but then his eyes open he’s still here seeing everything. Is it really not some kind of messed up dream? Is it truly happening?!
“Look, this isn’t the end of this, is it? We still need the AI to do it’s thing right?” Fuyuhiko hums, still clenching a screwdriver in one hand. He gently taps it against his palm, subconsciously bouncing it up and down as he gnaws on his lips.
He nods curtly, “They still need to be stabilised before they can be uploaded and we can start our recovery attempts.”
“Well then why don’t you start that now? It will probably take a few hours anyway and even if it doesn’t we still have to sort out Byakuya, Teruteru and Mahiru before we bring Peko back. Might as well get started now. I’m sure we will have finished before Peko is up.” Fuyuhiko hisses every word, forcing them out past his gritted teeth. His eyes are locked on Peko the entire time. Drinking in the very sight of her. No matter how he tries to hide it, there’s no disguising the unwanted hope lacing his eyes.
"Yeah, Hajime’ll get it done as soon as he can! A few more hours or days won't matter!" Akane tries to force a smile but it looks more like a grimace when she’s bent over the chamber, green light illuminating her face.
The suggestion has him pausing, thinking over the data they have available. Alter Ego did say they still had the original memories that were uploaded into the program before any alterations. Everything is there but should they really use it?
Looking at everyone now, it’s hard to even force himself to breathe. The original plan had been to rewrite those memories from before all this…but now they might actually be able to do it. During the final class trial within the program they'd all wished for this choice. The chance to forget everything that had brought them to this very spot. Is he allowed to make that choice for them though?
He might not be able to but…
"I actually want to ask you all something. When I go in and upload the memories should I just add them as they are from the Neo World or should the entire original memory - including those from Hopes Peak Academy and beyond - be added?" He subconsciously chews the inside of his cheek. Sucking in a long shivering breath as he studies everyone diligently.
Sure enough they’re all frozen in their tracks. He can hear their nervous shifting and the quiet taps of their feet against the hard floor.
"I don't-" Kazuichi stands up stiffly. Finally actually looking at him as his breaths fall still in his chest. Hajime can see the sharp edges of his elbows and shoulders as the tension steadily grows and grows.
But in the end it’s Akane’s sharp and firm voice that pierces through the room, "They should have their memories of it all." At once everyone turns towards her in unison, their gazes magnetically drawn as if with a mind of their own.
"What do you mean?" Sonia practically gasps the words. Her head reeling back as her arms wrap tightly around herself as if fighting to keep herself together.
"I meant what I said."
Akane finally looks up, arms folded stiffly. She looks almost mature with her stern gaze and voice. At least she would if he already didn't know her.
"Are you sure? Would they want to remember?" He cocks his head to one side as he asks tentatively. Navigating the conversation with as much caution as he can at this point.
The flashes of everything they all did throughout the years won't leave his mind. Flooding up immediately to the forefront as if trying to prove his point. That kind of stuff doesn't exactly wash clean…
"It's our life, y'know. We should prolly remember it. The good and bad. I wanna remember goin’ to school with you guys."
Good and bad? Does the good every weigh out that kind of bad? Is is worth remembering murdering loved ones - or in some cases even worse…?
"I…" Sonia's mouth opens and closes feebly but she doesn't manage to squeeze another word out. Instead she’s left gaping there as she fumbles with her own mind and body.
"Hajime gets it right? Your life is your life, y'know. We gotta know our past." Akane's gaze stares right through him.
Even with Akane’s assurance, he’s not sure he agrees. Was it ever any of their lives to begin with? It was all Junko through and through. But how would they feel being dragged into a world where everyone hated them and their crimes haunted them while they didn’t remember a thing?
Instead of arguing he forces a terse smile. No one else make an argument either. It might not be the universal agreement he would hope for before making this kind of choice it’s probably as good as they are going to get. He just hopes their classmates feel the same way when they wake up once more. Assuming they do…
“That’s decided then.” He poses the question one last time but still nothing. “I’ll see you on the other side then.”
~~~
Like so many times before, he opens his eyes to the soft sandy beach and the warm sun rays breaking across the perfect blue sky. He takes a deep breath and his lungs are filled with fresh salty air. Even after all this time it manages to feel so real.
But he has no time to wander around aimlessly this time. He doesn’t even have the time to lose himself in the moment or his own thoughts. There's only one place he needs to go and he needs to go there fast.
"Alter Ego?" He calls out across the beach. The lapping waves drown out the sound but he's sure the AI heard him call. After all, it's not like there's anything else going on for it to be paying attention to.
Sure enough the small form of Alter Ego pops onto the beach in front of him, it’s short brown hair blowing slightly in the mild wind. Rustling softly under the warm sun rays.
"It's nice to see you again, Kamukura." Alter Ego smiles innocently and skips closer, "What did you need?"
"The others agreed to the plan and we’ve finished modifying the chambers now. Most of them anyway…” He pulls the band aid off in one fell swoop. There’s no time for dancing around the situation now.
"Really?!" Alter Ego claps it's hands together excitedly, “I saw the AI you uploaded but I didn’t want to get my hopes up.”
"Good, does it work the way it needs to?" He subtly holds his hand behind his back, crossing his fingers as tightly as he possibly can until they burn. The searing feeling spreading all across his body.
"I haven’t tested it yet but it should do. It really is a beautiful code.” He feels his cheeks flush awkwardly as he squirms at the words of praise.
He feels obligated to offset it by reminding Alter Ego that he was also the one who created AI Junko but he holds his tongue. If it’s read through the code then there’s no way it didn’t notice the similarities - that is, assuming it didn’t know in the first place. If the AI is choosing to compliment it then he should just take it.
“Well it’s time to test it out. Take us to that data room from before. Please.” He catches himself at the last second, offering a small awkward smile.
“Of course.”
And just like that the scenery changes again and they're in the same pure white room from before. He can feel his stomach twists and churn at the constant changing but he keeps his face stoic.
"Here you go. Do you need my help with anything?" Alter Ego looks up at him expectantly. Maybe even hopefully.
His knee jerk response is to decline. He can do this on his own. Then he looks at all the data in front of him. All the loves and memories.
"Yes, for now can you take me to the data of Bya - the Ultimate Imposter." He quickly corrects himself.
What are they supposed to call them? Having been around the actual ‘Byakuya’ calling them by that name seems wrong. And yet in all the files, stories, and discussions he’s never once heard a true name. It’s almost always either Byakuya or Ryota depending on who’s telling the story and when they’re telling it. Without any other option does he just have to call them ‘Imposter’. And yet that feels even worse. Anything tying them to Hopes Peak leaves a sour taste in his mouth. This probably isn’t the time to be worrying about all that though.
"Yep!"
Alter Ego beams as it pulls forward all of the Byakuya's data. It might as well be laying an entire life at his feet. All life is made of nothing more than an assortment of letters, numbers or electrical signals, whether its in real life or in the code, but knowing that and seeing it laid out before you is a different thing. To be able to reach out and touch it…
He shakes his head clear and clasps his hands behind his back. Anything to remove the temptation.
"Great. So you said something resembling his consciousness is in here.”
“Sort of. It’s not exactly consciousness but it’s probably easier to just call it that.” Alter Ego crouches down to the codes level, peering into the darkened void of ones and zeroes.
“Can you help me upload the AI into it then?”
In an ideal situation he would want to trial the AI in another piece of code but what else can they use when it comes to the human psyche. If he was the one who made it then he just needs to have faith in his own abilities. When have they ever let him down? They didn’t even fail him when he wanted them to after being put into Neo World Program. They’re not about to fail now.
“Of course.”
And then the waiting game begins.
He’s not sure how long it’s supposed to take to stabilise a ‘dead’ mind - he doubts anyone knows. It would have taken days or weeks in the Neo World Program, what if it takes days or weeks here too? By the time they’ve done one person the future foundation could be storming the facility.
Keeping a tight hold of his hope he settles in for the long haul, taking a seat beside Alter Ego on the beach side. In the back of his mind he’s aware that Alter Ego is talking, something about it’s favourite places in the program, but not a single word has stuck in his mind. It all blurs together as the seconds tick on and on and on. Minutes changing to hours as he just tries to keep himself over thinking all this.
Are the others watching him lounging on a beach right now? Have they finished Peko’s chamber by now? There’s nothing stopping him returning, even if just for a few minutes, but he can’t bring himself to do it. What if something suddenly went wrong over here? He has no idea what could happen that Alter Ego wouldn’t be able to handle but given what happened the last time he added an AI to the program can’t help but be a little paranoid. It’s not like Alter Ego handled that situation perfectly.
An hour passes. And then another. And then another. It has gotten to a point where he really is beginning to consider that it could take days when Alter Ego suddenly freezes. For the first time he actually resembles a computer program, his eyes becoming glassy and his form glitching ever so slightly for a split second. Screen tearing happening right in front of his eyes, breaking the illusion of the perfect world.
“Alter Ego? Are you okay?” He cautiously reaches out, not quite daring to touch the AI.
“Yes. I believe your AI has been successful.”
Blood thunders in his head. Pulsating until that static crackle completely consumes him. Waves hitting against the shore of his mind.
It was…successful.
It didn’t feel real before but that is only amplified now as he sits here in a fake world next to an artificial life form.
After the hours of work they’re now finally going to know if this is even feasible or if they’ve wasted all that time for nothing. He clenches his jaw and breathes in deeply.
This is it.
If it’s all gone to plan then Sonia - or one of the others - should be watching right now. There is no way they would run off now when they’re so close. He’s willing to bet they’ve been staring at the screen the entire time he’s been gone.
“If it’s all ready then we need to upload the memories at the same time as the others activate the machines.” Alter Ego nods along as Hajime explains, “How quickly can you upload the data?”
“I should be able to do it effectively instantaneously.” Alter Ego speaks firmly, its brow and muscles completely tensed.
“Good. I’m going to do a count down in a second and you can upload it as soon as I get to zero.”
You better be watching, he mutters to himself even though he knows they won’t hear it. It all rides on this one moment.
“Five.”
“Four.”
“Three.”
“Two.”
“One.” He can hear himself dry swallow, choking on air.
There’s no backing out now.
“Zero.”
~~~
08/05 - 04:14
He sits up violently, sucking in a deep breath. Unlike every other time, it feels like breath has been sucked out of his lungs. He grips the edges of the chamber as he pulls himself free.
"Hey, are you okay?" Kazuichi's calloused hand reaches down to support him. The rough skin scratching against him. Every feeling amplified. The crackles swelling around his mind and consuming his thoughts one by one.
He screws his eyes closed and takes a few shuddering breaths. Bit by bit his heart beat slows and he begins to pull himself forward.
"Hajime?" Kazuichi slowly releases him and back away.
"What happened, did it work?" He doesn't need to ask though as Kazuichi is beaming from ear to ear.
"Why don't you look!" He skips out the way to let Hajime see the scene before him.
Byakuya is carefully being helped out of the tank, supported on both sides by Akane and Fuyuhiko. Their weakened bodies shake as they lift him but together they manage to pull them free. Guiding them out of the chamber just as they had been helped what feels like weeks ago at this point but it’s only been a few days.
"Are you okay?" Sonia sobs, her cheeks shimmering. Although her legs have been perfectly fine at supporting her until now, they choose this moment to buckle under her until she is nothing more than a puddle on the floor.
"I - I think so…" Their croaky voice is barely audible as they stumble forwards in Fuyuhiko and Akane’s arms.
While their skin has never been the most tanned, right now they looks sheet white under the eerie lighting. Despite their obvious weakness they do their best to balance on their own, taking as much weight off the others as possible.
Still catching his breath, Hajime carefully pulls himself out to run over and check on Byakuya (or whatever their true name is). He can only just about hear Kazuichi’s steps chasing right behind, as both of them swoop in to join the others. Hajime moving in with a surprising amount of ease as he shifts them from Akane to himself without missing a beat.
It’s only as he starts to support their weight that he realises his limbs are still strangely numb. Tingling travelling up his arm as his entire body tingles and shivers. Sparking as if a bundle of electricity has just been wound up inside of him, ready to burst at a moments notice. Nevertheless, he refuses to back away or step back. Holding firm as they continue to guide them ever so slightly forwards.
"Careful, you've been asleep for a while so it's not easy to walk." Kazuichi speaks with a soft and gentle voice. Even though he knows that Kazuichi isn’t talking to him, the words somehow still feel pointed.
"What's going on?" They carefully look around the room, blinking wildly, "Where are we?"
Hajime frowns, does he not remember coming here in the first place. Did he somehow mess up the memory files?
"We're in the future foundation building. You've just woken up from the Neo World Program, do you remember that?" Hajime crosses his fingers, praying that everything went okay. Their alive at the very least…right?
"I - I remember the darkness and warmth. I couldn't breathe properly…and then I woke up here. Everything is hazy." They try to clumsily rub their face but their eyes don't become any clearer. Then without any warning they snaps to attention. Back becoming rigid and straight without a moments notice.
If he wasn’t so close he would never be able to tell but with this proximity there is no missing the way the shiver runs up their spine. Consuming them as their head whips around to lock onto Hajime of all people. In fact, he can see the exactly moment that their throat stops bobbing. Their skin somehow turning several shades paler in the blink of an eye.
Although he knows what they’re going to say before they say it, it doesn’t make things any easier. In fact it somehow makes his lungs sieze up even tighter.
"Did I die?"
What is he supposed to say to that? He’s not sure there is a guide book written for these things. It feels wrong to just stand here but nothing he cold say feels like enough.
It’s only as Akane swoops in and squeezes their shoulder with a single soft “Yeah…" that he finally allows himself to breath. Forcing himself to swallow once more.
"I see…it's slowly coming back to me…"
Before they can say anything else, Sonia pushes past Hajime and Kazuichi to throw herself onto them. Despite them wobbling unsteadily, she isn’t put off in the slightest as she just wraps her arms around their neck tighter still. Thankfully Hajime is there to carefully keep them standing as the two collide harshly.
"We are just so glad to see you here and alive!" Tears are fully streaming down her face now. Hajime can see them slowly spreading out and staining their shirt but no one is going to make any moves to interrupt the moment, "We truly believed we would never see you again!"
"You were that worried?" The words are muffled with Sonia's hair covering their face but Hajime is close enough to make it out anyway.
Sonia finally pulls away, her arms still locked around their neck but at least it gives them both some breathing room, "Of course! You are our treasured classmates after all. We spent so much time together!" In spite of the shining smile gracing her face, she's sobbing harder than ever. A bright red flush has lit up her cheeks.
''Yeah, 'course!" Akane claps their back again before Kazuichi drags them all into one giant unstable group hug.
Hajime’s face is driven into the Byakuya’s neck without any warning. His breath is knocked out of his lungs as Kazuichi crashes against him, the long pink hair tickling the back of his neck. The awkward position has pinned his arm behind Akane’s as she wiggles about in the bundle. And yet despite the humidity and itchiness, it feels warm and soft. Like a heavy blanket draped over him.
"Why wouldn't we be worried about you?" Kazuichi mumbles softly.
Although he can't see any of their faces, he can feel the soft, warm splatter of tears on the back of his neck. Kazuichi's frame seems to shake with every shuddering breath.
"Uh…" A short stifled sniffle, "I appreciate it, I really do." Hajime can feel their hand reach back to stroke Kazuichi’s back gently - or at least as gently as they can given the strange arrangement they have found themselves in, "What about the others?"
The hands fall away at the utterance of that question. It's not easy to disentangle themselves but somehow they manage it with Kazuichi carefully keeping everyone upright with a gentle arm and sturdy stance.
Byakuya looks at them all uncertainly, as if they’ve somehow broken an unspoken rule.
"This is all of us that are left - well for now." Kazuichi explains quietly, scratching the back of his neck.
"So everyone else…" Byakuya's voice tails off as they stare at the distant wall.
Each of those dead bodies are forever ingrained in his mind at this point. He can’t imagine ever being able to forget the sight. He remembers how desperate Byakuya had been to make sure no one died at all within the program but looking back they made a real mess of that.
Even so, they aren't even truly lost anymore so why does it leave such a hollow feeling in his stomach? Is it because of what Byakuya said a minute ago? He remembers those last moments of death. Even if they haven't truly died forever, those deaths still happened. Every gruesome and horrific one.
"We can bring them back though!" The ever optimistic Sonia immediately grins, practically hopping up and down with joy, "Hajime managed to find a way to wake everyone up again which is what we're doing." Sonia skips over to him, wrapping herself around his arm. Clinging onto him as if trying to keep him from running away or something.
"Really? You can save -" Byakuya never finishes their sentence though as they stop midway through, their hands clutching at their head as best they can with both Hajime and Fuyuhiko still supporting them.
They all do their best to grip onto them, but in spite of everything they don’t waiver or fall. They just stand there, clutching at their loose hair until their knuckles turn white.
"You ‘kay dude?" Akane asks carefully, eyebrows knitted together into a wave of tension.
"I…don't…k…know…" Every word drags out laboured and clunky.
"Are they okay?" Sonia looks up at him like a deer in the headlights. Her nails are dug into the fabric of Byakuya's shirt as if they’re going to slip away somehow while she's not looking.
It’s not just her though, they’re all staring at him - even Byakuya. Of course he's supposed to immediately know what's wrong. Well then -
"It's okay. You've been asleep for weeks and you were technically brain dead for a lot of that time. It's not going to be easy for your body or mind to adjust to all this." He tries to sound as reassuring as possible but there is a limit to what he can do.
He doubts there is any research on the effects of coming back from the dead like this. They'll just have the learn on the fly then. Much like the Neo World Program itself then…
"Is there any way we can help them?" Sonia pleads with him again as if that will somehow make him come up with something.
"There isn't really a precedent for this. You, Fuyuhiko, and Akane can keep an eye on them…maybe get them some food and drink for now. If they’re feeling really bad then maybe a painkiller…? I would help but I should probably make sure the others wake up as soon as possible." He explains, hyper aware of all their other classmates still asleep.
Maybe it would be better for him to go and help figure out how to help Byakuya but he's the only one who can wake up the others. Doesn't he have a duty to make sure everyone else wakes up first? He doesn’t even need to hear Byakuya speak to know that’s what they would want him to prioritise too. But if they get worse and need medical attention while he’s -
"That's fine. You don't need to be worried about me. Help the others." Byakuya does their best to stand up on their own. Cutting off Hajime’s train of thought with ease. But, in spite of it all, they can't hide the dazed and disconnected look in their eyes.
He supposes it's enough though as Sonia doesn’t hesitate before taking his place. Her and Fuyuhiko supporting them while Akane hobbles behind, ready to whisk them away out of the room in the blink of an eye. Well, less whisking more of a shambling drag. Even when they're gone he can hear them pottering around the kitchen. Sonia's chattering filling the halls.
Before anything else can distract him, he turns and moved towards the computer, ready to set up the next person. His fingers fly across the keyboard so fast that he can barely hear Kazuichi muttering across the room.
"I can't believe you actually did it! It worked."
"I told you it would." He doesn't bother looking up from the screen. He can practically hear every second counting away.
"Yeah, but -"
As soon as the last button is pressed on the computer Hajime steps away and speeds past Kazuichi. He grabs the boys arm and pulls him along too, cutting off whatever he was about to say.
With a dumbfounded Kazuichi bow silent beside him he lifts himself up into the chamber once more. Being careful, so as not to break the head set, he attaches himself up once more. The muscle memory is more than enough to get him hooked up at this point.
Once everything is connected he looks up at Kazuichi. He’s watching every micro movement Hajime makes. Reading it all. The lines of his jaw taut and tense.
"You remember what to do right," A stern nod, "Good. I need to go in and sort out Teruteru's coding now. It will probably take as long as Byakuya's so make sure you're ready for my signal."
"I will be." Kazuichi’s face is almost stoney. Or as close to that as he is possibly capable of. He's seen the boy stern and determined many times but somehow, after remembering Hajime's time in the Neo World, it feels far more out-of character.
With nothing else to say, he lays down and allows the darkness to embrace him once again.
~~~
08/05 - 10:47
"Kamukura?" Alter Ego's soft voice is the first thing he hears as he awakens. It's soft hand is resting lightly on his shoulder, as if shaking him awake.
He groans and sits up, shaking away the hazy edges until the untouched landscape of the Neo World is stable once more.
"Oh good, you're here! Did it work?" Alter Ego hums excitedly, watching his every move. He hadn't expected to find the AI hanging off his every word but given everything he supposes he shouldn’t be surprised.
"They woke up fine. Their head hurts but other than that they appear to be alive and well."
He has barely finished speaking when Alter Ego let's out a soft cheer. "We saved him!" It claps loudly, hopping up and down, "Now we can save the others!"
"That's the plan."
He can't help but give the AI a small crooked smile. Something about it’s boundless hope and optimism is infectious. An almost child-like innocence. Then again, who knows how old the AI really is - it might well be only a year or so old.
He doesn't even need to tell Alter Ego what to do. The AI has already taken them straight to the data room, ready for the work to begin, "Who's data do you want?" As it speaks, it paces the across the space, looking all the data up and down.
"Teruteru."
The second death on the island. The sound of his skin crackling and frying is still audible somewhere in the back of his mind. Regardless of anything the boy did, did he deserve to die like that? Junko would argue yes of course but he isn't so sure anymore.
"Ummm…Teruteru's data is…here."
It carefully pulls up the data just like it had with Byakuya before hand. This time he doesn’t even wait a second before he’s uploaded the AI, beginning the process all over again. But even so his fingers remain crossed behind him as he sucks in a deep and silent breath.
"So what are you going to do with everyone once they're all awake?" Alter Ego chats as it works. Multitasking every action.
"What do you mean?"
"Umm…well…when all your classmates are awake what is the first thing you want to do together?" Alter Ego hums, tapping it's chin softly.
The first thing they want to do together? The thought never once crossed his mind. He's sure Sonia has thought of something - maybe even Kazuichi too - but what's the point of even thinking about it? Where are they going to go? It’s hardly like there is anything to do other than drink in this place. Especially now that Naegi and the others have vanished once more.
"I don't -" He begins to answer but he stops himself, "I want to go to the beach with everyone. Not the Neo World beach but a real one. I want to go outside with them all and relax, like this place was supposed to be."
He tries to imagine seeing everyone relaxing on the sand, this time for longer than five minutes. Would they even be able to relax now after everything? Who knows. But maybe, with Naegi, Kirigiri and Togami gone, they might actually be able to venture outside and onto the shore. It isn’t much of a pro but it’s something at least.
"The beach…that sounds fun. Is it very different to how it is here?" Alter Ego closes it’s eyes for a moment. It’s almost as if it's trying to stir some kind of memory of shores beyond this one.
"I don't know. I haven't been to one before." He mutters quietly.
Memory upon memory of this beach fills his mind. There are even distant hazy memories of beaches long since forgotten rattling around somewhere inside him, but that's all they are, memories. He's never once touched real sand or dived into the ocean. The closest he got was the secluded industrial shipyard the future foundation picked him up from and the shores they passed as they landed here to enter the program. It's not exactly a beach side excursion.
Even so, the admittance is enough to leave Alter Ego shaken. It's eyes are wide as it turns to him, "Never?"
"There wasn't much need for going to the sea." He clears his throat and throws himself back into the code.
Alter Ego falls quiet. It already knows more than enough about him and the others. Explaining any more would be pointless. Besides the words don’t seem to come to him now. He’s not even sure where he would start.
Nevertheles, for a time that seem to be enough to placate Alter Ego as it turns back to it's work. But after a few minutes have passed it falls still once again, "What about -"
He cuts it off with a sharp voice, "We should focus on this for now."
It comes out a little harsher than he'd intended to. From the corner of his eye he can see Alter Ego's face drops. It nods slowly, biting down hard on it's bottom lip.
"I see. Sorry." A short wet sniffle quickly follows its wounded words.
Ah, typical. Of course he managed to make the artificial intelligence cry yet again. Maybe he should keep a tally going…
"I don’t want to be rude but I'm only thinking about the present now. The future is hazy and out of focus but this," he gestures to the huge line of code spread out before them, "I can do. I brought them all into this situation and given my capabilities I should be the one to bring them back. Even if I never see them again after this, it’s my duty right now."
He immediately turns away from Alter Ego. As if just having the AI out of his vision is enough ot convince himself that it isn’t there anymore. He can imagine its soft rounded cheeks aren't still wet with tears.
"I understand. I really want to help you and your classmates and maybe one day you can come back and tell me about the beach..." He can't see it's face as it talks but he can imagine the look in the back of his mind still.
"Why don't you tell me about your creator then." He says it offhandedly but clearly he didn't know what he was getting himself in for.
The AI can speak almost endlessly about its creator. It tells tale after tale about Chihiro with a fond voice that distinctly remembers matching the creator himself. It's almost soothing to listen to the soft spoken chattering as he waits.
It evolves into stories about other people too. Kirigiri, Naegi, Asahina - even people like Togami and Hagakure get mentioned. Its ‘friends’ as it puts it. He finds it hard to see how an AI trapped in here like this can be so close with them but then again he's here, isn't he.
He knows he shouldn’t be but he’s almost sad when Alter Ego finally freezes up, notifying everyone of the success. All chatter silenced as they turn to each other in anticipation.
Just like before they count down together, praying that this wasn’t a one hit wonder. However when he braces himself for the trip back there is no flood of darkness. Nothing but Alter Ego's face awaiting him. They'd sent the sign to Kazuichi already so what's the issue?
He squints his eyes at Alter Ego who's ringing its hands in its lap. Maybe it's his trust issues talking - he's not going to diagnose himself right now - but he's immediately tense.
"Kamukura?" Alter Ego steps ever so slightly closer to him, "When was the last time you slept?"
The last time he slept…he can't remember now. Two days ago? Less? More? Every hour has blurred into one as they worked. Does it even matter?
"Why?"
"You seemed to be getting slower and more sluggish. Maybe you should get some sleep…" Alter Ego asks slowly. It's as if every second its bracing itself, ready for him to suddenly turn around and snap once more.
At the word sleep he finds his eyes growing unexpectedly heavier. If he didn't know better he'd think Alter Ego had cast some kind of spell on him. His mind suddenly alert to the oncoming wave of drowsiness. It's going to take more than that to shake his resolve though.
"I can't sleep until we've gotten everyone awake."
Both of them can clearly see all the work that's ahead of them. It's had to deny while looking at the memories laid out in front of them. A mountain of code waiting to be deciphered.
"I don't want to sound rude but you aren't actually needed for that. I - I mean you can go and rest for a few hours while I work on this code myself. This is sort of what I was made for after all…" Alter Ego swings one leg back and forth slowly, it's toes lightly brushing the ground as it swings by. Then all at once it's head snaps up and it waves it's hands aggressively, "Not to say you aren't really smart with all this! It's just that I can do all the boring coding stuff while you look after yourself."
Of course Alter Ego could do this itself. Why hadn't he thought of that? He had hours spent here but he never once even considered the idea.
"But do you know the order we're waking them up in?"
"Well…you're waking them up in the order they…the order they…died in, right…?" Alter Ego winces as if it's stepping on a landmine instead of just asking a question.
"Yes." He hums quietly to himself, "How will I know when you're ready if I'm asleep? What if I don't see the sign?" He knows he's practically grasping at straws now but he can't stop himself.
Alter Ego must be able to sense it too. It's not exactly confident but it's voice has lost the wobbly quality it had before, "You did say there are people other than you out there. Maybe if you all took turns sleeping and watching for my signal. It takes us around 7 hours for the AI to work so as long as you're awake in 7 hours it should be fine…"
What else can he say to that? It just makes sense. No matter what he says, he can't argue with that. He just stands there in front of Alter Ego not saying a word. Logically it's the smartest option. Who is he to argue with logic? Imagine how much more productive they could have been while they were altering the machinery yesterday if they'd had Alter Ego working behind the scenes.
"You don't have to if you don't want to but I thought it might be faster and easier. It's easy to make mistakes when you're tired after all…"
"No, it's fine." He chirps in quickly before Alter Ego can start spiraling, "You're right. It's the best option we have. You can flash the screen blue if you need any help or need me to come back in though." He quickly adds on. He can't imagine Alter Ego struggling with anything but it feels a little better to know the option is there.
"Yep! I will do!" Alter Ego beams once more, it's tiny framing looking more human than ever.
"Okay then…I will see you once we've saved everyone then."
Maybe it's Alter Ego's infectious grin, or maybe just his sleep deprived state, but he can't stop himself from smiling back. Perhaps he doesn't want to stop himself…
"I'll see you then."
~~~
08/05 - 17:09
His eyelids are heavy are he blinks back into consciousness. The same heavy weight is present above him as he heaves in heavy breaths. This time there's sound beyond him though. The sound of feet moving and fabric rustling. The sound of fast shallow breaths and anxious chamber. He can't make out any of it clearly beyond the confines of his little chamber.
As he pulls the machinery off of him he notices that Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko are nowhere to be seen. All he can see above him is the dim light of the room and the dull ceiling.
It's only when he pulls himself up into a sitting position that he can see the others all gathered around at the other side of the room. Their backs are all facing him making it hard to see anything they're doing. Almost all of them anyway.
"Hajime! You're awake. I thought you weren't going to for a moment there." Kazuichi stands up from the huddle and rushes over just like last time. But in spite of everything, he certainly isn't smiling.
With more force than Hajime was expecting, Kazuichi grips his hand and pulls him up. Swinging his leg over the chamber, to drag him away as fast as he can. It's only then that he sees what everyone is gathered around.
Teruteru is hunched over on the floor, breathing raggedly. His usually perfectly styled hair is in shambles as his hands have curled into the hair, pulling at it as hard as he can. It's pulled in every which direction and almost entirely covers his facial features. That's not enough to hide the pale taut distress rippling across him though.
"Take deep breaths in." Sonia's voice wobbles as she rubs a hand up and down his back. His chest only seems to rise and fall faster and faster with every movement of her hand though.
"Is he okay?" Akane's eyes are wide as she stands awkwardly just beside Sonia.
They're both practically on top of Teruteru. The only free space around the huddled boy is the spot Kazuichi had just left.
Sighing Hajime rushes forward until he reaches the group. With a firm hand, he grips both Akane and Sonia’s shoulders to yank them back. With their poor balance they both fall backwards onto the ground but he can't bring himself to care. Trying to be a little more careful he nudges them both softly, hoping they get the point. Thankfully Sonia gets it enough for the both of them as she takes Akane’s arm and pulls her away to join Kazuichi as Fuyuhiko follows suit.
With the space free he approaches, kneeling down as he keeps everyone else away. While he makes sure to leave some space between them, he stays within range to help if he needs to.
"Teruteru, can you hear me? Just nod your head if you can hear me." He waits for a few seconds until Teruteru gives him the smallest little head nod possible, "Good. If you can try to breath in and out when I say to. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out."
They both sit there for a few minutes, breathing together. Bit by bit Teruteru's breathing evens out until they're regular and almost normal. There's still a ragged edge to each one but it's nowhere near as shallow as before.
"You're doing great. Do you want me to touch you?"
He's barely gotten the words out when Teruteru shakes his head violently. His breathing hitches again, wobbling weakly. His fingers curl around until his nails are digging into his legs.
"Don't worry, that's fine. I won't touch you at all. Just remember to keep up the breathing," Hajime quickly twists around to address Kazuichi, Sonia and Akane, "Can anyone get him some water quickly?"
"Y-Yeah!" Kazuichi immediately sprints out the room before anyone has even reacted.
Sonia and Akane shift for a moment, as if about to chase after Kazuichi but neither of them actually move. Even now they're fixated on Teruteru who's still folded in on himself. Their prying gazes probably aren't helping but he cant be bothered to lecture them.
A minute later Kazuichi reappears and presses a glass into Hajime’s hand. As soon as it passes over he shoots back to join the others as if he'd been burnt with molten rock.
Doing his best to ignore the others he carefully hands Teruteru the water, watching him as he slowly sips at the water. It never once leaves his lips, his breath quickly fogging up the inside of the glass.
None of them say a word until every drop of the water has been drained out of the glass. They all might as well be holding their breaths as they wait patiently.
"Are you feeling okay?" He asks tentatively, shifting ever so slightly backwards so Teruteru can set down the glass. He never does though, it stays firmly locked in his fists death grip. It's a good thing Teruteru isn't quite strong enough to shatter the glass itself. The most he can do is turn his hands a faint shade of white from the pressure.
"Y-Yeah…" His voice is rough and broken but audible. He immediately thinks of sandpaper and metal scraping on metal. It's a far cry from the smooth voice he remembers before.
"Do you want more water?" Teruteru pauses for a moment, flexing his hand around the glass he's still clinging to.
Finally, after a minute of silence he releases his grip, handing it back to Hajime with only a slow nods of the head. He doesn't even need to turn around to the others before Kazuichi is at his side. Just like before they all wait patiently as he runs off to fill up the glass once again.
"What do you remember?" Hajime asks softly. It might be the wrong thing to ask given the situation but they should probably ask at some point. Better to get it all sorted here and now.
Teruteru shakes his head slowly as his fingers tangle into his hair once more. Unlike with Byakuya, he seems to be tugging at the hair itself rather than just clutching at his head. It's almost like the dull pain is grounding him.
"I remember being dragged away from you all. I remember…I remember…" His voice fades away as he buries his face into his knees. His hair flops down awkwardly, completely hiding any still exposed parts of his face.
Hajime bites down on his bottom lip. It's the same as Byakuya. Maybe he should have tried to remove those last memories - it wouldn't have been too hard. No matter what Akane said it would be better than this right?
"It is okay. You are completely fine now. Hajime has found a way to help everyone now that the danger has passed." Sonia quietly chirps in but still she doesn't dare move any closer to him and Teruteru. The most she does is lean forwards in the hopes her voice will carry over to Teruteru.
"Everyone?" That's enough to get Teruteru to lift up his head.
"Yeah…"
How is he going to explain everything else that happened while he was 'dead'?
Thankfully before he can begin to approach it Kazuichi returns like a knight in shining armour. Slightly less awkwardly this time, he brings the water over and hands it straight to Teruteru himself. Clearing his throat ever so slightly as he does so.
"Unfortunately you weren't the only one to die on the island. We were the only ones who survived." He explains, crossing his fingers that he will take it okay.
He’s not sure what he was expecting but Teruteru doesn't say any thing. Stoic and silent as he just takes a large drink of water and stares at the wall away from everyone else. They all wait on baited breath for any kind of response.
"...it wasn't real was it…everything is hazy but it was a program wasn't it? That's why we're here in a room like this." When Teruteru finally speaks his voice is mildly smoother than it had been before. Every word is heavy.
"Yeah. Those Future Foundation people stuck us in it. We're free now though." Akane chuffs and crosses her arms.
The explanation is simplistic at best but he doesn't think he needs to tell Teruteru that. The cold distant look in his eyes is enough of a tell. They all know exactly why they're here right now. They know who's fault it is.
"You know what, I believe we could all do with a rest and food. It is a lot to think about but for tonight you should probably recover your strength." Sonia steps forward, taking charge. She even pumps her fist excitedly as if they're all just on a fun little school trip. Even so, it's almost nice to see.
"Yeah, Byakuya woke up before you and he's sleepin' it off in his room right now!" Akane grins, giving Teruteru a thumbs up.
It’s at that moment that things take a turn for the worst. Before his very eyes, Teruteru stiffens. Winded at once as his eyes blow wide up. Staring up at Hajime as he twitches anxiously on the spot. Practically pleading as his eyes begin to shimmer in the fluorescent lighting.
"Byakuya is here?" It's nothing more than a hushed whisper. Almost as if Byakuya was somehow in the room with them, listening in on everything.
"Yeah. We're bringing everyone back to life and he was first on the list because…" Kazuichi stops himself right before he finishes the sentence. He might as well have slammed his hands over his mouth for all the subtlety of his realisation.
Teruteru doesn't seize up though. If anything, the tension in his eyes smooths out, "That means you're bringing everyone back. Including Nagito?" Teruteru twitches ever so slightly.
There are so many memories rattling around in his head now that he almost forgot. Nagito might not have been on good terms with anyone but still…
"Yeah, even that lunatic." Akane steps forward her hands on her hips.
Lunatic. Insane. Psychopath. Murderer. Evil. Twisted. Obsessive. Weirdo.
The words mix together in his head. They twist around his image of Nagito viciously. And yet they have to save him because beyond all that a single memory comes to mind when he hears that name. That darkened ash filled room where his blood ran across the stone. It's hard to think of anything else but those last moments.
Thankfully he doesn't have to say a thing. Before he can even comprehend what to say, Sonia has begun speaking, "Regardless of his previous transgressions, he was our classmate once and if we can revive him we should."
Akane snorts, "Yeah, he's still a lunatic."
"Hear, hear." Fuyuhiko joins in, kicking lightly at the ground.
"Well…yes…he may be a little strange but he cares about us so we should do our best for him."
Hajime tries to imagine what Nagito would say if he was hearing all of this. That alone is enough to make him laugh.
"I think he cared a little too much." Kazuichi mutters under his breath. It must be too quiet for the others to hear as not one of them turns towards Kazuichi.
"I see." Teruteru looks down, his breaths shallow.
"Well, for now we should focus on helping you as we wake up everyone else. Other things can be discussed later." Sonia smiles but it doesn't reach her eyes. Her already raw lip is slowly being gnawed at. The peaceful bliss of seeing their classmates alive again slowly giving way to the truth of the matter.
Nevertheless, Teruteru nods his head slowly as he places a shaky hand against the ground. Just like Byakuya, his weakened frame is unable to keep himself up as he pushes against the floor.
Cautiously, Hajime leans closer keeping an eye on his every movement, "Do you want us to help you get up?" He speaks slowly, hoping it doesn't sound patronising.
"No!" Teruteru snaps out and violently yanks his arm out of reach, "I mean, I can get up okay." He clears his throat softly and sets his hand down again - further away from Hajime and the others this time.
Pulling on the edge of the chamber, he manages to get onto unsteady feet. Everyone else around him holds their breath, waiting for a slip or wobble. They can't do anything but watch and wait. Thankfully, with the chamber to lean against he manages to stand on two feet. That's all he can manage then. Every shift in his weight causes ripples of wobbles throughout his recovering body. The bedrooms, which are usually so close, seem so far away now.
"Here." Kazuichi is the first one to act, crossing the room to grab a walker tucked away at the edge. A discarded remnant of their recovery, "This should make it easier to get to your room."
Kazuichi sets the walker down nearby and immediately darts away, giving Teruteru space. With shaky hands, Teruteru lets go of the chamber and shifts over to the walker.
"Thank you…" Hajime’s just about able to hear the muffled words over the sound of shuffling.
Before Teruteru can fully leave the room he beckons Sonia closer. Teruteru keeps moving for a few steps until he finally stops, realising he’s lost his entourage. He rests as much of his weight as he can against the walker, slumping over the metal frame. Hajime should probably make this quick.
“We need to talk about our plan for this going forwards but can you accompany Teruteru for now?” She opens her mouth to argue but he promptly shuts her down, “You’re probably the face he finds most friendly here. I’ll make sure you’re told about our plans but he needs someone with him, even if it’s just to take him to his room.”
She bites down on her bottom lip but nods anyway, “Okay. But make sure you keep me updated.”
Not daring to get too close to Teruteru, she hovers just behind him, softly explaining all the great things about the facility. He’s not sure how much he cares about a coffee machine right now but he supposes it’s probably better than silence.
As Sonia and Teruteru leave, the others gather around him, drawn in as if by some mystical force. Their expectant faces never once breaking away from him.
“What’s the issue? What do we need to change?” He can hear the panic lacing Fuyuhiko’s words.
“No! There’s nothing wrong.” He waves desperately, trying to dissuade their panic as best he can, “It’s just we’re all getting tired so I want to figure out the most sustainable way to move forwards.”
“Okay.” Kazuichi breathes out a sigh of relief. Resting a hand against his heart as he practically doubles over dramatically.
Without any warning Akane punches his arm, “Dude, don’t scare us like that!”
“I didn’t mean to!” He pleads but it’s not convincing anyone. Not when they’re all practically scowling at him.
“Yeah yeah, whatever. Let’s get onto the plan.” Fuyuhiko grumbles, crossing his arms tightly.
"The AI that runs the Neo World program is going to deal with the data and memories while I stay on this side. It should make the process slightly faster." He explains slowly, unsure of what any of them are going to think.
"An AI? What if it does it wrong?" Kazuichi begins playing with his nails, his hands still hovering over the now empty chamber.
"It's already helped with the others. I…trust it… It helped in the final class trial with Junko so I'm sure it's on our side."
“Sure, but it also couldn’t stop the AI you implanted!” Fuyuhiko hisses quietly as if Alter Ego is going to somehow be able to hear them from all the way out here.
“I just -”
“Look, I know I don’t get this crap but Hajime is sayin’ he trusts this thing. Ain’t we gonna trust him?” Akane steps up, taking charge of the conversation with a single sentence.
He doesn’t think he’s ever been more relieved to have the girl around. It’s not like they’ve ever been super close and yet here she is.
"We all need rest to do our best work, this way we can at least get a few hours rest." As he speaks he realises he's convincing himself as much as them. Seeing Mahiru's chamber across the room makes it even harder to stay hands off.
"So what do we do now then…?" Although the tension in his muscles doesn't fade, Kazuichi does step away. His jaw is tight and rigid and he can't exactly hide the way he's chewing the inside of his cheek.
"We all need rest but we don’t want to miss the signals so we should create a rota. We need someone around to keep an eye on Byakuya and Teruteru and we need two people around to start the process at any moment. That means two of us can be sleeping at any one moment.”
“So we’ll just rotate jobs for now.” Fuyuhiko asks tentatively, eyes narrowed. “Since you and Kazuichi know more about this shit me, Akane, and Sonia can cover the babysitting shifts.”
“I guess that works.” Akane shrugs although who knows if she was actually following along.
Kazuichi sighs, leaning against the empty chamber even more, “Who’s taking the first watch then?”
Hajime steps forward, ready to volunteer himself but Fuyuhiko promptly cuts him off. “Me and Akane will. It’ll be ages until the program is ready anyway so you and Kazuichi should be the ones who rest first. That way you guys will be the one handling the actual shit when it matters.”
He could argue but it is smart logic. He might not want to rest now but he certainly wont want to when the time draws closer.
“Fine. Are you okay with that Kazuichi?” Even as he asks he can see Kazuichi’s eye lids drooping ever so slightly. How long has he been like this, right on the edge of collapse. If he doesn’t go to sleep soon then he’s bound to pass out.
“I guess so. It is probably a smart idea.” He doesn’t even bother trying to hide his reluctance and Hajime doesn’t blame him. Who could sleep at a time like this? But they both know it’s not logical, no matter how much they want it to be.
Without much more fuss him and Kazuichi buckle down for the night. Not wanting to lay back down in one of those chambers, he drops down onto the chair by the computer and rests his head on his arms. It's going to kill his back but they don't have loads of bed options and in no world is he leaving this room.
Even with the awkward position and blue light shining on his face. He finds himself quickly being pulled under into an empty, dreamless sleep.
~~~
08/05 - 23:31
"Hajime?" A soft hand shakes him slightly, "Hajime? Are you okay?"
Slowly Hajime blinks, staring blearily at the room around him. The soft face of Fuyuhiko is leaning down towards him, eyes wide and bright. His hand is still resting on Hajime’s shoulder.
"What time is it?" Hajime mutters out the words through a yawn. Cheeks aching as oxygen floods his lungs once more.
Darkness is all around them making it hard to see anything. The lack of windows is more present now than ever before. How many hours have passed since he fell asleep?!
He snaps up to attention and stares around the room to search out Kazuichi. The pink haired boy has curled up on the floor, his head resting on his folded up arm. Completely passed out even now as Fuyuhiko whispers right by Hajime’s face.
"Uh, I'm not sure. Almost midnight or something." Fuyuhiko shrugs and backs away.
Frowning he quickly tallies up the time in his head. Good, he's still got about an hour until Alter Ego should be ready. That's something at least…
He groans loudly and rubs his face. Hie eyes are still sore, aching to close and return to sleep again. Even though his back aches it was one of the first good nights sleep he's had since waking up here. It was worth it.
“Has anything happened while I was asleep?” He yawns, stretching out his arms.
“Nah. Sonia and Akane swapped a while ago but I think Akane might have just passed out on the couch.” Fuyuhiko jabs his thumb over his shoulder towards the other room. “She was already basically just sleep walking so I didn’t think it was worth waking her up just to deal with her crap.”
Probably smart. It’s not like they really needed everyone awake right now anyway.
But as he looks around he notices the rest of the room is empty other than Kazuichi who is still curled up in the corner of the room. He hasn’t even bothered finding a chair, apparently the floor was suitable enough. Maybe they should consider bringing some mattresses or blankets in for the future.
“Where is Sonia then?” He frowns.
“She’s just gone to the toilet or something. I’m sure she’ll be back in a minute. She’s insanely determined to keep working.” That does sound like Sonia. Hopefully she does actually sleep when it’s her turn to. The last thing they need is her crashing out too.
Hajime rolls his shoulders and drags himself up off the chair despite his aching limbs. Every movement burns but its the good kind.
"So Mahiru is going to wake up soon…" Fuyuhiko clears his throat, swallowing hard.
In the mess of trying to sort all this out he didn’t even think twice about that. Sure, people like Teruteru and Byakuya might still have a few unresolved issues but its not just their sleeping friends who have those issues.
"It is your turn to rest now. If you don’t want to be around then you can go back to your room now. I can see how it might be…awkward." Hajime clears his throat loudly.
They aren't exactly in a normal situation. He supposes you can't really just say: whoops, sorry I tried to kill you. That's not exactly going to pass over fine.
Fuyuhiko turns around and begins walking towards the chambers, his hands shoved in his pockets. He passes by Kazuichi who's still curled up on the floor and heads towards a specific chamber. Hajime is too tired and the darkness is too heavy for him to know who's exactly but he can wager a good guess.
Staring down, Fuyuhiko begins to speak, "I should be here…shouldn't I? After everything I should fucking suck it up and do what needs to be done. Not for me but for her." Fuyuhiko's fists are pressed against the surface hard enough to turn the knuckles white.
"I can't say what you should or shouldn't do. None of us can really speak from a position of moral superiority." He sighs and cautiously gets up to move slightly closer. Keeping his distance he just watches as Fuyuhiko stares down into the hazy face of Mahiru Koizumi.
The dream from a few nights ago comes to mind. The blood on his hands and the rest of theirs too is only the beginning. In the grand scheme of things, the events of the killing game were nothing. A drop in the barrel. Then again, the big picture isn't always the most important thing.
Taking a deep shuddering breath, Fuyuhiko slides down the side of the chamber until he's sat on the floor. His head rests gently on his knees as his arms pull his legs close to him.
"I need to do it before I see Peko again. I need to…" His voice is muffled by his legs but Hajime can still hear every word.
He can't imagine caring about someone as much as Fuyuhiko cares for Peko. Being that dedicated to a single person. Being that in love. It feels foreign after the life he's led. For all the darkness of the moment, he almost feels…warm.
As Hajime he never truly got to see them together - not until the end - but at least he's going to fix that now. First they just need to wake up Mahiru…
“Besides, I’m not leaving you here on your own.” Fuyuhiko snorts, nudging Hajime’s shoulder gently.
He snorts, “I’m not alone, I have Kazuichi.”
"We should leave him be." Fuyuhiko mutters, "The dude needs some sleep we should let him have it while he can."
Hajime looks over at his sleeping classmate. He's been awake for as long as Hajime - if not longer. The dark bags under his eyes are impossible to miss. Does it really matter if he isn't awake to see Mahiru as she reawakens?
Staying as quiet as possible he carefully gets up and shuffles away. After a few seconds Kazuichi stops stirring and falls still, face still buried from view. They really should at least cover him with a blanket or something but they don't exactly have a lot to use. Can he really be bothered to go all the way back to the bedrooms and risk missing the signal? No, he'll just go get one if Kazuichi's still asleep when Mahiru is awake.
Still staying quiet, he sits back at the computer, tapping his finger softly against his leg. This time, however, Fuyuhiko pushes himself off the ground and shuffles over to Hajime’s side. His petite hand presses against Hajime’s shoulder as he leans forward to look at the screen too.
They stay that way, both watching the screen anxiously. Every muscle tensed in preparation. It feels more like going into battle than watching a computer. It’s not like the signal is even due soon but it’s not like they even have this time thing concrete. They can’t afford to miss a thing.
“What are you both doing?”
Both him and Fuyuhiko flinch back. His head slams backwards into Fuyuhiko’s, as both of their heads ringing like bells.
“Fuck!” Fuyuhiko curses so loudly he is certain it’s going to wake Kazuichi but the other boy remains firmly asleep, “Sonia! You can’t fucking sneak up on us like that!” Fuyuhiko grips the spot above his heart, still breathing heavily.
“Sorry…I did not mean to!” She gasps and he can’t help but feel a little bad.
“It’s okay. We just weren’t paying attention.” Fuyuhiko does his best at damage control but it’s already too late. It’s not like she cries or even trembles but her entire face lights up bright pink.
“We were just waiting for the signal so we can wake Mahiru.”
He diverts her attention as best he can by pointing to the screen. Sure enough, any other thought is instantly swept out of her mind. The only thing in this world that matters is Mahiru.
“Oh good! I did not miss it!” She tries to smile but that doesn’t hide the way she’s nibbling at her nails.
Much to his surprise, Fuyuhiko is the one who fills the silence as they wait. Not once does he mention Mahiru though, instead he focuses on Teruteru and Byakuya who are already tucked away in their rooms. Questioning Sonia on how they were doing, talking about any resources they would need, reminiscing on how they will no longer end up having to eat Sonia’s food.
Hajime stays quiet the entire time, just enjoying listening to the muttering. The faint sounds of machines buzzing, Kazuichi snoring, and Sonia and Fuyuhiko chattering are like music to his ears. Even though he had just woken up recently he thinks he could probably fall asleep to this. In fact, his eyes do begin drooping ever so slightly as he lets himself relax into the warmth.
In the end it’s not him that falls asleep though. Instead it’s Sonia who gradually lets her eyes flutter closed as she rests on the desk. Snoring softly as Fuyuhiko tries to find something to toss over her.
She had wanted to be awake when Mahiru woke up and yet as the message from Alter Ego buzzes through is like an electric shock, he doesn’t even have time to think about waking her. Not now as they both leap into action. Although given how fast she had fallen asleep despite her attempts not to, she clearly needs this rest just as much as Kazuichi.
The chair scrapes loudly at the sudden force throwing it back as he jumps upright but Hajime never looks back. Not wanting to be even a second late he runs over to the chamber at full speed. With one flick of his hand he throws the lid open and peers down at Mahiru.
It’s different being on this end of things for once. Seeing them like this as they brace themselves for what is to come. As he prepares to awaken her once more.
She looks peaceful - even more peaceful than the others somehow. Her short red hair is perfectly brushed aside, framing her faded freckle kissed cheeks. He could almost swear that there's a smile gracing her lips. It looks nothing like the bloodied, limp girl he last saw. That’s a relief…
He tears his eyes away and stares back at the screen, his hands waiting over the button. Fuyuhiko hovers by the computer, still rooted to the spot. Waiting. Preparing. If they had more time he might talk to him but they don't so he doesn't. Instead, he slams his hand down on the button as the countdown reaches zero.
At once Mahiru's body arches as the electricity courses through her. She falls still. Another shot of electricity. She arches again. This time her eyes shoot open to as she gasps a thick heavy breath.
Her pupils are pinprick as she stares up. Shaky hands reaching up to try and pull off the head gear awkwardly. Fumbling with a frantic manic energy that Hajime had never had when he woke up. Then again they never had this head stuff on when they were waking up. And yet, the entire time through everything else, she never stops staring at Hajime.
"Here, let me help you."
He gently pries her hands away to give him better access to the gear. For the first few seconds she struggles against him before falling still and resigning herself. Trying to squash the guilty feeling burying itself in his chest, he pulls her free and sets the discarded head gear down to the side.
"Does that feel a little better? You should be able to sit up now." He moves back a little to give her space but she keeps laying there, breathing heavily.
"H-Hajime. Is that you?" Her previously peaceful face has twisted and contorted. Her eyebrows down turned and thick with tension.
Saying no would probably only confuse her more - they don't need to get into that conversation now - so he just nods his head. It's not like he's lying anyway. That seems to be enough to soften her gaze as she closes her eyes and flattens herself even more within the chamber.
"What happened…did I…die?" The word comes out choked as she scrunches her eyes even tighter closed.
Speaking as clearly and carefully as he can, he tries to explain the whole situation. Or the most important parts anyway. The entire time he can feel Fuyuhiko lingering just behind him. Always standing right there out of her line of sight. It's a miracle she hasn't heard his increasingly fast breathing honestly.
"It's really early in the morning right now so not many people are here and awake but we can try and get you some food and water before taking you to your room." He explains patiently, carefully skirting around Fuyuhiko's name.
Unlike with the others, it's just him and Fuyuhiko now. None of the people who actually helped Teruteru and Byakuya yesterday are even here… Even so…
"Um, thank you." A slight dusting of colour has filled her face now. She's still ghostly compared to his memories but she almost looks like herself.
Taking her hand, he manages to pull her upright in the tank. It must cause a flood of blood to her brain as she immediately wobbles and clutches at her head. She still manages to stay stable and upright though which is better than nothing, but that's about as far as the good points go.
As soon as she's settled, she freezes. Eyes locked on one spot as a look of horror consumes her. Fuyuhiko shifts his weight from side to side, barely managing to maintain eye contact with her throughout it all.
"What's he doing here?!" She gasps, the air catching in her throat midway through.
Hajime instinctively shifts to put himself between Mahiru and Fuyuhiko. His hands stretch out front of him as of he were pacifying a wild animal and not Mahiru.
"He's one of the people that survived with us. With me. I know there were some issues before but he really turned over a new leaf after that situation with…" Hajime let's his words trail off into nothing.
He knows words can never really explain it. Logic would dictate that they all should never have forgiven Fuyuhiko after that…incident…but seeing him like that is a different story. Maybe it needs to be lived not told, or maybe it's not something a victim like her should ever have to understand, but it truly felt like he turned over a new leaf. Telling her that is never going to do it justice though.
"But he -?!" Her breaths shorten and become ragged as she keeps a close eye on him. Primed and ready to start jumping at any tiny movement he makes.
"I know, I know. But please -" He begins to speak but he can't even finish his sentence before Fuyuhiko has stepped forward and opened his mouth.
"Look, Mahiru, I know I fucked up in the past - I royally fucked up - but I'm going to try and make up for it now. You don't need to forgive me or anything but I am going to find a way to make up for what I did to you and Sato before."
Fuyuhiko slowly moves closer and closer as he speaks. Each step feels heavy. Significant. Yet for every step he takes, she appears to shimmy back in the chamber. A weak attempt at maintaining the distance despite the barriers. Before he can get too close, Hajime holds a hand out. A silent declaration.
"Can you leave? I don't want to see you now…please." For such a strong girl, she sounds small and fragile. Her head quickly turns to the side, blocking out any sign of Fuyuhiko.
"Yeah. I'll go and give you space. For what it's worth, I'm glad you're alive." Fuyuhiko opens his mouth as if he wants to say more but instead of speaking he begins to leave the room.
The entire time he's walking, Mahiru keeps her head down. Like not looking at him or acknowledging his existence is somehow going to get rid of his actions entirely.
It's only once the sound of movement has fully faded that she picks her head up once again. Her eyes have a watery sheen and tinges of red tickling the edges of them. He wants to rub her back and do his best to soothe her but given the situation with Teruteru the day before, he settles for hovering it awkwardly over her back instead.
"Can I get some water…?" Her voice cracks and croaks as she speaks but she pushes through anyway.
"Yeah, sure."
He takes her arm and slings it over his shoulder so he can pull her out. With them so close together he can feel every breath that leaves her but they don't seem to become faster or more distorted despite the close contact. Hooking one hand around her waist as hers hangs around his shoulder, they are able to start walking towards the living quarters together.
As they walk past the still sleeping form of Kazuichi she drags her feet a little as if trying to get a good look at him. Does she remember him like this? Or does she still see him as the relatively soft boy from the Neo World Program?
"Who else survived? Just so I know who to expect." She manages to croak out the words.
"Sonia, Akane, Kazuichi… Fuyuhiko… and I all survived." He rattles the names off methodically before pausing, "And we already woke up Byakuya and Teruteru before you."
"I see…"
He cautiously allows his gaze to flicker over to her, trying to read her, "Do you want to talk about what you remember?"
"No." She doesn't even hesitate for a moment. The words practically snapping right out of her, "I just want food, water and sleep…" She sighs, her body shuddering against him.
"Okay. We'll get you sorted."
They don't see anyone else as they sort out Mahiru. Not even Akane is anywhere to be seen. It's probably a good thing as Mahiru sits awkwardly, doing her best to drink all the water and toast Hajime had made for her.
It's only when he begins taking the her to the rooms that he realises he doesn't know which rooms they put Teruteru and Byakuya in. He can be pretty sure Byakuya is in the room opposite Kazuichi but what about Teruteru? He probably shouldn't just open the door and check. Not given how Teruteru was earlier.
Out of caution he takes her to the next row back which should still be untouched. Sure enough when he swings the door open it's empty and still perfectly laid out the way they found it. Still holding her upright, he carries her over to the bed and helps her sit down on it.
While he fetches the walker that had been left in her room, she carefully examines the area around her. Not even trying to hide the curious turn of her head. Still he tries to set it where she can reach it from the bed as he begins explaining what the doctors had told them. He gets the distinct feeling she's not even listening but he can't be bothered to care. She'll figure out what it's for on her own. It doesn't exactly make him comfortable as he leaves her alone in the room but he look back at her as he leaves.
Chapter 15: 9th of May
Summary:
More progress is made in the recovery of their friends
Chapter Text
09/05 - 06:20
"Hajime?" A short groan splits echoes through the room as Kazuichi shifts on the floor. The blanket Fuyuhiko had carefully slung over him now rumpled on the floor, "Did I fall asleep?"
Both Hajime and Fuyuhiko had been sat together at the desk after Sonia woke up and was guided to her room to rest properly. Both of them waiting for the time to tick by bit by bit. Despite all the chatter and the fact he had a blanket tossed over him, Kazuichi had stayed sound asleep. He must have been sleeping for over twelve hours by now. Fuyuhiko had managed to slip off for a nap and had still returned before Kazuichi had woken up.
"Yeah. We gave you a blanket but we didn't want to move you." Fuyuhiko nods softly towards the blanket strewn on the floor.
"Why didn't you wake me up?"
Kazuichi tries to stand up as he speaks. His hair is still rumpled and disheveled, and there are red marks on his cheek detailing where his head was pressed against his arm. Somehow he looks more tired now than he did last night before he fell asleep.
"You looked like you needed it. Fuyuhiko already woke me up in time to be there for Mahiru." Hajime shrugs casually.
"So Mahiru is already awake? It all went well?" Kazuichi drifts over towards the chamber that used to house Mahiru. As if double checking, he peers in cautiously. Examining the interior diligently just in case Hajime is lying or something.
Fuyuhiko looks over at him, waiting. His lips are completely sealed. Typical…
"Yes. She's eaten and drank and is now in her room. She seemed okay, just weak like the others."
"That's good…" Kazuichi sighs deeply, finally allowing himself to smile. Shoulder slumping bit by bit.
"We're just waiting for Peko to wake up now." Fuyuhiko hums softly, still constantly looking back at where Peko is laying. He's surprised the boy isn't literally staring at the clock counting down.
"Are you excited?" Kazuichi shuffles over to join them, leaning against the desk like Fuyuhiko. Staring him down with the slightest crook on his lips.
"I -" A bright red flush covers Fuyuhiko’s cheeks, "I just want to see her alive. She deserves to be here…" Fuyuhiko does his best to turn away from them both but there is no where to hide. Not when they’re all this close together.
It's hard to say anything else. What do you say to that? He can remember Peko’s last moments now and it's impossible to disagree. Even with the others' discussion about Nagito yesterday it's hard to argue any of them could deserve to keep laying here like this. Not the 'victims' nor the 'killers' of the game. Or perhaps he is just the privileged one to be able to see things that way.
"She does. They all do." Hajime nods encouragingly as he speaks.
"Well, either we all do or none of us do…" Kazuichi chuckles awkwardly, but his tone doesn't quite match the words.
"Well that's fucking cheery."
"Hey, I'm just speaking the truth."
Hajime pauses, tapping his fingers against his leg unconsciously. Chewing on the inside of his lip subconsciously. The truth. The truth…
"Maybe. But we're here so we might as well make the most of it." Hajime sighs and leans back in his chair. It's too early in the day for this kind of discussion…shouldn't they at least wait until after they have eaten something?
Kazuichi relaxes leaning against the desk, "Sure."
As if running from the offhand comment, they begin mindlessly chatting once again. He's not even really listening as Kazuichi mutters about events long passed but it's good enough background noise. It's not like it's for his sake anyway.
He doubts Fuyuhiko is paying attention either. Although he occasionally mutters responses, his head only ever turned towards the screen. Every inch of his body is tensed and ready to leap into action.
As the time draws nearer and nearer even Kazuichi’s soft chatter dies down. He’s not sure how long they sit like this, eyes glued to the screen and hearts beating in their chests. Even with the growing tension pushing down on them all they still practically fall out of their seats as soon as Alter Ego sends them the signal.
And yet even as Kazuichi and Hajime run over to Peko's side, Fuyuhiko stays across the room just like with last time. When it came to Peko he really though things would be different but apparently not.
"You press the button." Kazuichi rapid fires the words out as he scampers to the other side of the chamber until they surround Peko. Hajime swears he can see Kazuichi's leg wobbling even as he stumbles along, his leg mostly hidden by the chamber itself.
Not wanting to argue given their limited time he slides into position. Looking down at the chamber as he examines Peko’s pale face. She’s always been still and cool but not like this… Now of all times he can only seem to see her awkward, crappy smile painted on her face.
Just like a few hours before, his hand hovers over the button anxiously. He tightens his jaw, gritting his teeth as hard as possible. Fuyuhiko is still visible stood by the computer but he blocks the boy out to focus solely on the situation in front of him. They can deal with Fuyuhiko later. Right now they just need to sort out Peko and everything else will sort itself out…right?
Not wasting a second, he slams down on the button as soon as the countdown ends. It's eerily similar to Mahiru as Peko’s body bows and arches under the current. As everything kicks back into gear he can see her take her first gulping breath in. Eyes snapping open in the blink of an eye.
It's only as Hajime and Kazuichi pull off her head gear that Fuyuhiko finally runs over to join them. As she sits up, bent over and catching her breath, Fuyuhiko holds a gentle hand to her back. Moving as subtly as he can, Hajime grabs Kazuichi's upper arm and pulls him back. Kazuichi loses his footing for a moment, stumbling, but with Hajime’s grip on him he manages to hold steady as they give Peko and Fuyuhiko as much space as they can.
"Come on, let's leave them." Hajime leans forward and whispers into Kazuichi's ear.
"But -" Kazuichi turns to object, pointing towards Peko but his hand falls almost immediately.
Fuyuhiko's tentative hand is brushing aside her hair, checking her entire body for the invisible sword wounds that are no longer there. It doesn’t matter how much he has seen her sitting in that chamber, he still needs to check even now. The way they're staring at one another makes him want to turn and flee the room. With every passing second it gets harder and harder to breathe. In Peko and Fuyuhiko’s minds they probably already have. He can hear them speaking quietly to one another and takes everything he has to avoid listening in.
Clearing his throat to draw their attention, he calls out to Peko and Fuyuhiko one last time, "We're going to go rest and take a break before we need to be here for Hiyoko." He casually points to the door behind them, "Can you help Peko while we're taking a break?"
"Uh…yeah." Fuyuhiko narrows his eyed but doesn't object.
"Come on then."
With his hand still gripping Kazuichi's arm, he drags the boy out of the room and closes the door behind them. This time Kazuichi walks close to him, matching Hajime’s every step.
As soon as the door is fully closed, they both lean back against the wall and breathe a deep breath. They can still hear Peko and Fuyuhiko in the room beyond but they're soft and muffled now.
Four down and six to go…he does the calculation in his head. So close and yet so far.
"She seemed fine, right?" Kazuichi bounces against the wall. Voice shaking ever so slightly, "They're both happy."
"Why wouldn't they be?" Hajime shrugs his shoulders softly. No one could argue any differently.
"Yeah…" Kazuichi pushes off the wall to move forward.
Together they shift away from the room, giving Peko and Fuyuhiko as much space as possible. Even just being in the corridor is too much. However, as soon as they step into the living area a familiar person is stood in the middle of the room.
"Kazuichi, I -Hajime. Is everything okay?" Byakuya's voice cuts through the moment. Making both of them stop in their tracks as they look Byakuya up and down as if their vision is somehow going to change or something.
Their weight is resting on his walker as they carefully shuffle over into the kitchen. There's a bright uncharacteristic smile on their face. Well, uncharacteristic for the person he remembers in the Neo World Program anyway. Similar to Nagito, he rarely saw Byakuya before all this began. There was never a reason to.
"Yeah, we just wanted to give Fuyuhiko and Peko space…" Kazuichi coughs unsubtly, wiggling his eyebrows as if more needed to be said. Hajime has to stop himself from sighing at walking away at that very moment.
"So Mahiru and Peko are both already…alive…again? I missed them both…" Byakuya’s lips twist ever so slightly. Eyes darkening as they begin to look down at their feet.
"I haven't seen Mahiru either. I think she's still resting in her room for now." Kazuichi leans forward slightly, and if trying to stare through the walls to check on her but of course it does nothing to help him see.
"She needed it." Hajime mutters softly, thinking back to how she had been the night before. Rest is what she needs right now, he just hopes she’s getting it.
As much as he might want to soothe his own thoughts by checking on her and Teruteru, for now they just need to leave things be. When they have more time and energy they can go around and check in on everyone… At least Byakuya is looking far more energetic if nothing else.
"I'd think so…" Byakuya twists around as much as the walker will allow so they can look back at the rooms. After a small pause when they clears their throat.
"There's no use in worrying about everyone. Come on, let's actually rest for a bit." Hajime pushes out the words. But even as he says it, his feet are already drifting towards the kitchen. Leading him ahead without looking back at the others he'd left behind.
However, much to his surprise, before he can reach the table Byakuya cuts him off, "I was actually hoping to see one of you."
"You wanted to see one of us?" Kazuichi mutters, confused. Narrowing his eyes ever so slightly as he begins to side eye Hajime.
At the same time, Hajime twists around and shuffles slightly to the side to perch carefully on the edge of the table. It cuts into the tops of his thighs but he stays there anyway. Surveying the situation in front of him as he braces himself for whatever is going to be thrown his way.
"What is it? Do you need something?"
"No, nothing like that. I was just wondering if someone could show me around the building. I know the five of you have been here the longest so you might be able to help...only if you’re not busy though."
"Sure, we can. Right, Hajime?" Kazuichi closes the distance between them without a moments hesitation. Jabbing him in the side with his elbow. The slightest smile on his face as he does so as if he’s proud of himself or something.
In spite of everything, he supposes it’s not exactly the worst thing he could be doing. They do need to do something to kill time before Hiyoko wakes up and it’s not like there is anything better to do. Having just gone to sleep between Teruteru and Mahiru he doesn’t direly need to go to bed at this point.
So, hopping off the table he begins nodding his head along, "Yeah, we can walk around with you." Vibrations shudder up his legs at the sudden contact but he walks it off. Biting his tongue as both him and Kazuichi hurry over to Byakuya’s side once more.
"Thank you, I appreciate it." Byakuya nods firmly and flashes them a soft rounded smiles.
They surround Byakuya on either side before starting to move. They’re still heavily leaning on the walker, every step heavy and slow with the extra effort. He'd almost forgotten how clunky it was moving with those things.
While Hajime tries to keep focused forward as they travel, he can feel Kazuichi's twitchy gaze always moving about. Never settling on one spot for long. After an uncomfortably long time, he finally spits out what he wants to say.
"Are you sure you're okay walking with that? You can lean on us if it's easier."
They'd barely even gotten to then next room and he's already worrying about that. With the way he’s acting you would think the five of them hadn't been walking on the damn things just a few days ago. If anything, Byakuya almost looks more stable than they did somehow… Already moving with a surprising ease.
"Sonia said it was good to keep walking with it. It should help me recover quicker." Byakuya crinkles their eyes and forces a soft chuckle but their hands only grip the walker tighter. "Unless I'm moving too slow for you?"
"No! I just remember how it was and it -" Kazuichi stumbles over his words as he shotguns them out before stopping all together, "You know what, don't worry."
To avoid putting his foot any further down his throat, Kazuichi zips his mouth shut leaving Hajime to handle all the conversation side of things. As reliable as ever.
It turns out Hope’s Peak must never have had an Ultimate Tour Guide in all their years of operation. He does his best to make this place sound at all interesting but you can’t pull compliments out of nothing. Empty offices and dull looking medical rooms aren’t the height of entertainment. It’s lucky Naegi gave him the key card because it’s just about the only redeeming feature.
“This stairway takes us all the way through the building from the ground floor to the roof.” He explains as they all shuffle through the door to examine the massive stairwell.
Kazuichi is just as wide eyed as Byakuya as he leans forward over the railing to stare up and down the flights curiously. It’s not like they had been unaware of the buildings height, they had come in after all, but seeing it like this is a whole different story.
“I forgot how much of the building we still haven’t seen.” Kazuichi mumbles in awe.
When they’re so wrapped up in sorting out their plan its like everything else just disappears. How could the rest of the building matter when they’re still down by six people? And yet he looks over at Byakuya, their eyes sparkling as they stares directly up.
“Would you like to go upstairs and look at the roof?” He offers tentatively.
In their state with a walker can they even get up there? It had been a decent few flights when he last went up after all. Byakuya must be able to tell but that does nothing to dissuade their steely expression. After everything Byakuya went through who is he to deny them? He might be somewhat swayed by his own desire to see the actual sky and breathe in fresh air once again too.
Walking in a line with Hajime in front of Byakuya and Kazuichi behind him they make their way up the stairs gradually. While they have to take it one step at a time, it could be worse. In someways he kind of likes the slower pace. There’s something…calming about just being here. Hearing Byakuya softly breathing behind him sends a warming hum through him. Even when they don’t talk, their presence is unavoidable.
When they finally reach the top of the stairs Hajime skips ahead, pulling the door free and holding it open to allow the cool wind to rush in. Even before they’ve stepped outside, the wind begins rustling through all of their hair. Humming around them soothingly.
Kazuichi lightly punches his arm as he passes by to fully embrace the open air, “I can’t believe you never told me about this place.”
He takes a large gulp of air as if he’s trying to take in a lifetime supply. As they make their way to the edge he closes his eyes, enjoying the feeling of cool air rushing through his now short hair. Soothing chill wrapping around him like a thick blanket.
God, this is so much nicer than last time.
“I forgot the sky looks like this…” Kazuichi mutters under his breath as he rest his chin on the railing.
Where there had once been crystal blue skies, all that is left is ember red. After spending so long in the program it had gotten too easy to forget about the reality in front of them. At this point he wonders if they will ever get to see a sky like that again…
“It’s easy to forget when we’re all locked away.” He whispers into the wind. At this point he’s not even sure if he’s talking to Kazuichi or not.
Maybe part of them just doesn’t want to remember. It’s easier to live peacefully when they can focus on their memories of the Neo World Program. Sometimes it really does just feel like all their lives before this were nothing but nightmares. When you don’t need to look at the consequences of your actions it’s surprisingly easy.
Kazuichi doesn’t reply, he just hums quietly and shifts a step or two closer to Byakuya. Even as he moves closer he leaves a good three meters between them, not daring to push the boundaries. Byakuya looks like they couldn’t care less about whatever they are doing though. There’s only one thing he’s keeping an eye on.
“Jabberwock island.” His voice vibrates deeply as he speaks, “How can it both look exactly the same and completely different.”
That’s the million dollar question. As usual the program is almost certainly to blame. Who knew human psychology could be so fascinating? Okay maybe fascinating isn’t the right word but the feeling still stands.
“Everything is so screwed up with our heads now.” Kazuichi grumbles as he lays his head down on his arm. Letting out a long weighty sigh.
“They were always messed up.” Byakuya mutters wistfully, still locking his eyes with the distant islands hanging on the horizon.
An hour passes and then another, but Hajime makes no move to hurry them up. It’s not like they need to rush straight down - isn’t it better to spend their waiting time up here instead. After a while he takes a seat on the floor of the roof, swinging his legs out over the edge once more. The breeze is stronger now than it had been last time he was up here, his legs are knocked into the side of the roof over and over but he doesn’t bother moving them. Instead he presses his head against the railing until the cold metal stings his very bones.
The others might be looking for them but he’ll deal with that when it comes to it. Right now the rest of the world might as well not exist. They’ve earned this little moment even if it is nothing more than a little one.
“Which island do you think was which?” Kazuichi mumbles, dropping himself down on one side of Hajime as Byakuya takes the other side. All three of them pressed side by side. Only just stopping short of actually touching as they try to lean forwards to look past the edge of the building.
“That one over there would have been the first island. And that one would have been the second.” Byakuya points at each one with ease and with such confidence that it takes him a few seconds to even realise that Byakuya had never gotten to see anything beyond their first island and the central one.
“How do you even know this stuff? I never questioned it in the program but it’s hard not to be curious.” Kazuichi puffs out his cheeks, pressing his entire face against the bars.
However Byakuya just shrugs nonchalantly, “I always liked the idea of Jabberwock island growing up. And it was the kind of place Togami would know so I had to research it.”
It’s easy to forget he’s anything but Byakuya when you see him like this. That is the power of an ultimate he supposes. Everyone always calls Nagito’s ability a superpower but he thinks he might be more jealous of Byakuya’s. Then again he says that like he doesn’t have the talent himself…sometimes it’s easy to forget all about that side of his life. To lose himself in this moment here and now.
“You know in all the years of being friends with you I never actually asked what your real name was. It wasn’t in the files from Hope’s Peak that we found in the library and you never did tell us.”
“I never had a name, at least not one that I remembered.” Byakuya says it completely casually as if it’s the most normal thing in the world.
The curious part of him wants to probe further. It wants to drag all the questions out until there’s no mystery left but there’s no point in that. For once this isn’t a secret someone is keeping from them. This is their entire existence. Instead he holds his tongue and focuses out at the ocean.
“Really, never? What do you want us to call you then?”
“I -” They scrunch they eyes as tightly as possible, “I’m not sure. Byakuya works fine for now though. I think I prefer that to Ryota.”
Ryota…the name brings a face to his mind. He’d not met the boy many times - their paths diverged pretty early when everything went to shit. He doesn’t think that even Junko kept tabs on the reclusive boy. Just another existance that faded into nothing. Once he had fullfilled his role there was no other point to him.
It makes sense he would have once been a part of this class given his age but he’d never once seen him with any of them. He hadn’t appeared in any of Sonia’s stories either - at least not as anything other than Byakuya’s identity at the time. Nothing more than a ghost in the grand scheme of things.
“Byakuya it is then.” He purses his lip and nods in acknowledgement. Who is he to deny their choice of name? It’s probably better than the alternative of just calling them Imposter for the rest of time.
“Thanks, we should probably head back now then right. I didn’t mean to take too much of you time.” Byakuya coughs awkwardly as they pull themselves back upright. As soon as they’re upright they turns so both him and Kazuichi can see nothing except their back.
Hajime does his best to pretend he doesn’t notice the way Byakuya’s arm comes up to brush their face. Shielding it further still and yet it somehow is the most revealing movement of all.
Nevertheless they both follow suit, brushing themselves down as they regain their footing. Forcing themselves to stand against the harsh wall of wind once more.
“Nah, it’s fine. It was nice getting out of that room for a change.” Kazuichi waves it off with ease.
“Yeah, it was a favour to us really.”
Byakuya turns around slowly their eyes narrowed but their expression is soft, “Are you sure?”
The words seem foreign coming from Byakuya’s mouth of all places. It’s not like they’ve been maintaining the ‘Byakuya’ persona since they woke up but it hits him more than ever in this moment. In the back of his mind he wonders if this is the first time he’s ever truly met them.
“We wouldn’t lie to you dude!” They both try to convince them but nothing they say has any effect on their expression. All words completely bounce off of their cool exterior.
“Well thanks anyway.”
As they begin leaving the roof he looks over his shoulder one last time at deep red sky that now hovers above them. But then the door seals behind them and they’re locked inside once again.
Kazuichi hums wistfully as they begin the long trek down, “It’ll be nice to come back here as a whole group when were all awake.”
“Yeah, that’ll be nice…” He tries to force himself to smile.
After seeing how the Mahiru and Fuyuhiko interaction went who knows if they’ll ever do something as a group together again. Their little group might be broken beyond repair but he doesn’t dare say that to Kazuichi.
Even if he doesn’t believe it will ever happen, he’s happy just listening to Kazuichi and Byakuya’s plans for activities as they slowly make the trek down. Who knows, maybe he’ll be wrong. Maybe.
~~~
09/05 - 08:50
After parting ways with Byakuya they settle back down in front of the chambers again. They still have hours to wait and there’s no one around as far as the eye can see. Fuyuhiko must still be with Peko and Sonia is off in her room somewhere as Akane takes over watching the others.
“Is there anything else we need to do before Hiyoko wakes up?” Kazuichi hums, meandering around the room.
“No, we should be all good.”
“Well do you want to have a go with these?” He holds up a small pack of card, waving them about in front of Hajime playfully.
“Where did you even get those?” Of all the things he thought he would see here this wasn’t one of them. He supposes even future foundation members need entertainment sometimes.
“I found it in one of the draws in the common room. It was covered in dust so I doubt Naegi and the others even knew it was there.”
Without wasting a second, the sit cross legged on the floor facing each other. As Kazuichi pulls the cards out Hajime holds his hand out silently until Kazuichi hands the cards over. With the casual flick of his wrist he begins reshuffling the cards. Kazuichi stares in amazement at the ease with which he handles the cards.
“Dude, is there anything you can’t do?” He could list a million things but he figures Kazuichi is meaning it more metaphorically.
He flicks the cards from hand to hand, enjoying the way the flutter about gracefully, “What do you want to play?”
“Hmmm…I actually don’t really know any card games.” Kazuichi scratches the back of his neck and looks away. He’s not sure why but he always got the vibe that Kazuichi would be the sort of person who would love games like these.
“Well I can teach you some if you’d like. There’s just two of us so that rules out quite a few games but we could place gin rummy.” He shrugs nonchalantly, dealing them each a hand.
It’s not like he’s ever actually played card games - it turns out effectively bringing about the apocalypse doesn’t leave much time for games. Nevertheless that doesn’t discount the rules that still float about in his head. He can’t help but wonder where he even learned the rules in the first place. Was it an ultimate talent or was this something he did before all of this? Before Izuru…
“Sure, sounds good.”
The game isn’t exactly intuitive for Kazuichi but he’s smiling the entire time anyway. That’s probably the only thing that matters anyway - even if he does have to explain the same rules over and over.
Even as they’re playing he finds himself peeking over at the clock constantly as if that’s somehow going to make time speed up. On paper it sounds so easy to just wait around for things to happen but all these breaks are chipping away at him. It’s like they’re just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
It’s only been three days since Naegi and the others left and they haven’t heard anything back yet. He assumes that’s probably a good thing but it doesn’t put him any more at ease. The awareness of time passing by beginning to niggle at the edges of his mind.
“Akane, what are you doing here?”
Kazuichi’s voice pulls him out of his own head. Blinking rapidly he scans to room only to see Akane leaning against the frame of the doorway. Her hair has finally been pulled back into a messy bun on the top of her head and her eyes are lined with bags but her sharp teeth glisten as she grins.
“What am I not allowed here?” She pushes off the frame and stalks towards them. Her hands are neatly tucked away in her pockets.
“No, it’s fine,” He shoves Kazuichi’s arm, “We just thought you were meant to be watching the others.”
“That’s borin’ besides, no ones around they’re all in their rooms.”
He can’t blame her really. Everything has been dead quiet beyond this room. Given the situation he doesn’t blame anyone for taking time to themselves, it doesn’t make the for the most lively place though. Maybe that will just come with time though… Hopefully.
“It’s fine, Hiyoko should be waking up soon anyway.” He jabs behind him at the chamber nearest the door where Hiyoko is still locked away.
Taking that as enough of an invitation she drops herself down beside them both and leans around to examine Hajme’s cards. “What are you two up to then?” She pokes at cards tentatively.
“I found some cards so we’re just passing time.” Kazuichi reaches forward and fans out his cards to show the selection to a wide eyed Akane. Normally he’d be worried about her giving things away but this is Akane they’re talking about.
“Let me join! I always sucked at card but it’ll be fun with you dudes!”
Fun is certainly one word for it. Suddenly Kazuichi looks like a quick study. He’s starting to understand what people mean when they say they want to pull their hair out. Pulling nails would probably be less painful than trying to deal with Akane and Kazuichi simultaneously. It’s a relief when he finally catches sight of Alter Ego’s signal once again.
Without wasting a second he throws his cards down and runs over to the chamber, “Hiyoko is ready now!”
As he yells, he points Akane and Kazuichi towards the computer to be ready for the count down. They both scramble to their feet, barely making it in time to give him the signal.
However unlike the last few times as Hiyoko’s eyes flutter open she lurches forward, gasping for air frantically. Her entire body heaving, hands rapidly scratching at her face. After weeks of remaining in the machine, her nails have grown sharp. Each one leaving long red streaks all the way down her face but that doesn’t stop her from continuing to attack her face relentlessly.
“Hiyoko!” He darts forward, tightly gripping both wrists in a single hand. Without a second thought he forcibly drags her hands away from her face until there is no way she can keep attacking herself, “Hiyoko, its okay. You’re okay now.”
The words do nothing though. In fact her breathing only gets shallower and shallower before they start stuttering uncomfortably. As he pulls her headpiece off her bloodshot eyes well up with thick tears. Her hands still buck chaotically against his grip but she doesn’t stand a chance.
“Hiyoko it’s okay, just breath in!” Akane crouches down to her level as she tries to speak over the sound of Hiyoko’s gargled breaths.
As expected it does nothing to quell the other girls panic. Her chest is rising and falling with the speed of a hummingbird. Is she even breathing? He can practically hear her heart beat thundering from here.
Unsure of what else to do, he reaches into the chamber and scoops her up into his arms until he can lift her out. She’s not as small as the image of her that is still in his mind but she isn’t exactly big. Trying to be as gentle as possible he pulls her tightly to his chest, keeping a one hand on the top of her head the same way he had seen Mahiru do it in the past when Hiyoko was upset. His other hand refuses to release her wrists. Normally giving her space would be best but he’s almost certain she would instantly start clawing herself again.
“Akane, grab the blanket!” He shouts at the top of his lungs at Akane as he cradles Hiyoko even closer. Everywhere his skin touches hers burns and her entire body is practically vibrating, “Kazuichi, go and get Mahiru! We need her here as soon as possible.”
He barks the orders with ease and, much to his relief, the others instantly jump into motion. They both vanish from view but he doesn’t let his focus drift from Hiyoko for even a second. Within seconds Akane is draping a blanket over Hiyoko, cocooning the girl as best she can.
“It’s okay Hiyoko. It’s all over. You’re safe and alive now. Mahiru is here and she’ll look after you.” He tries his best to speak to her, looking into her eyes. Praying she is listening, “I know you’re panicking but try to copy my breaths.”
He over exaggerates every breath and slowly Hiyoko begins mimicking him. The breaths are still shallow and flimsy but at least it’s some progress. The slower her breathing gets the more she leans into him, her pale, sticky head resting against his arm as her eyes flutter closed. For a moment he thinks she’s going to pass out but instead -
“Jesus christ!” Akane flinches back as Hiyoko twists her head to the side and throws up all over the floor. Without solid food in her stomach it must be mostly bile. The smell alone makes his stomach churn but he holds strong.
“Can you get her some water or something?” He keeps his voice as low as he can but thankfully Akane still hears him as she runs off to grab something.
Hiyoko is shaking in his arms once again but this time it is slower and more deliberate. As he looks down at her face he sees fat tears rolling down her cheeks. Small flecks of vomit are still clinging to her but she only sobs harder. Her entire face is twisted and screwed up.
“I promise you’ll be okay.” He whispers into her hair but he has no idea if she can even hear him. She just keeps shaking, her tears spilling all over his t-shirt.
He hold her like that until three figures come running into the room. One of them slides across the floor, completely unbothered by the pool of vomit around them, and pries Hiyoko out of his grip. Mahiru pulls the shaking girl into her arms and places herself directly into Hiyoko’s line of sight.
“Hiyoko, you’re okay now. I’m here with you.”
Hiyoko’s crackly voice finally rings out, “M-Mahiru?” It’s hardly the nicest sound but he finds himself clinging to every syllable. Finally taking in a long breath.
“Yeah, it’s me.” Mahiru gently smooths down the girls hair and brushes tears off of her cheeks.
“I-I-I saw…I-I s-saw your d-dead body-y.” Each word splutters out awkwardly but he’s just relieved she can speak at all.
Being as subtle as he can he slides away from the pair, giving them as much space as possible. However he doubts they would notice him moving even if he ran off.
“I know but I’m okay now. Hajime fixed us both.”
“F-Fixed…I t-thought I l-lost you.” Hiyoko finally sits up somewhat. Her spindly arms are thrown around Mahiru’s neck as the other girl cradles her close.
Mahiru slips a hand under Hiyoko’s legs and places the other on her lower back so she can gently lift the girl. Cradling her more like a baby than anything else. He instinctively wants to rush forward and help but he pulls himself back. He’s probably gotten more involved than he should have already. Besides, despite how much taller Hiyoko is now, Mahiru is still just about able to support the girls weight. Her legs wobble somewhat as they’re still recovering but there’s no other sign that she’s even carrying anything at all. He has no idea if it’s the adrenaline that has her moving without the walker but she makes it look easy.
“I’m not leaving you now, okay?” Mahiru tries to gently readjust her hold on Hiyoko without dropping the poor trembling girl, “I’ll take her back to my room for now. I think she just needs to calm down a little.”
'Calm down' is one way to say it...
Nevertheless they all step back and give Mahiru a clear path across the hall. Akane is left waiting by the doorway, glass of water still in hand.
As he looks down he notices his hand is trembling. Tears and vomit stain him but he doesn’t dare move. It’s like his body doesn’t want to respond to him anymore. The smell of everything is overwhelming him, smothering his mind and making his head spin uncomfortably.
“Iz- Hajime? Hajime? You good?” Kazuichi’s hand tentatively reaches forward, poking his arm.
Shaking his head clear he looks down at himself, “Hmm? Yeah, I’m okay. We should clean this up.”
None of them are exactly enthusiastic about the idea but they work together to find a mop and tackle the mess Hiyoko has left behind. He pretends he doesn’t notice the way Kazuichi gags with every sweep. He can’t say he blames him either. Even just looking at the stuff is making him a little light headed, let alone thinking about the smell.
It’s a relief when they finally have it mostly cleaned up. He suspects they might need to just throw out the mop at this point though. He’s certainly not touching the damn thing again.
“Hajime, I think you need to go clean yourself up.” Kazuichi clears his throat and nods at the mess still coating Hajime.
His shirt is still slightly damp, tears and sweat sticking the material to his skin uncomfortably. Every strand still reeks, the vomit has well and truly seeped into the fabric by now. He wants to be able to argue back but Kazuichi is right. He really really needs a shower.
“Yeah…I’ll wash myself up. Just keep an eye on this place while I’m gone. I’ll hurry back.”
Akane and Kazuichi give him an encouraging thumbs up, still plugging their noses up by pinching their noses. They’re always so supportive…
As soon as he gets back to his room he rips off his clothes and banishes them to the corner of the room. Sure, they could both be easily washed but he’s certainly not going to be the one to wash them. He’s had more than enough of that smell to last him a life time.
He seals himself up in the shower, letting himself soak in the scalding hot water. Bit by bit he lets the water burn away all the mess and smells. Cleansing himself. He scrubs and scrubs and scrubs until no trace of the earlier encounter remains and then he sits down on the shower floor, letting the water cascade over his head. God he needs rest.
~~~
09/05 - 20:10
Everyone else has long gone by now leaving him all alone in the room to wait for Ibuki to finally awaken. Akane had practically passed out before heading off to bed and Kazuichi had excused himself without explaining where he was going. Part of him had considered trying to find Sonia but he probably shouldn’t bother her. Not when she’s finally resting. Instead he settles down with a book, legs up on the desk in front of the computer.
However as the time ticks by still no one arrives. No matter how long he waits Kazuichi never reappears. Where the hell could he have gone? It’s not like there are many places to go in this building - unless he’s gone through the locked door to examine other parts of the building. Even when the time for Alter Ego’s signal is upon them he’s no where to be seen.
Without anyone else to rely on he grabs the computer screen and twists it to the side so the screen faces the chambers in the room around him. This way he will still be able to see the countdown even if no one else shows up.
Taking the reins himself, he situates himself in front of Ibuki’s chamber, hand ready over the button as he looks at the screen diligently. He waits in empty silence hearing his own heartbeat in his ears.
Images of Hiyoko earlier flash before his mind. The others had all been relatively fine when they woke up but not Hiyoko. What if Ibuki is in the same state? They had Mahiru to help with Hiyoko but who could help if Ibuki was in such a state? He has no idea who they would even call out for that.
Unfortunately he has no time to even consider it any further. As he stands there the screen lights up and he jumps into action. There is no time for him to think he only needs to act. They can deal with anything Ibuki throws at them they just need her awake and alive.
Without wasting any more thoughts he slams his hand down on the button and watches Ibuki buckle under the stress. In a split second her eyes flutter open as she comes back to consciousness.
“W-Whats going on?” Ibuki mumbles blearily as her head moves about awkwardly within the machine. She strains her neck ever so slightly as she tries to peer out over the edge.
“You’re going to be a little confused but for now just focus on getting to your feet. Do you want help?” He holds a hand out towards her.
“Thanks.” She takes his hand and he pulls her upright. They link their arms together as he takes on her weight. Hobbling together, they manage to pull her free. One arm is still linked with his while the other grips onto the edge of the chamber. She sways against him, her feet slipping against the ground. Even as she flounders about she giggles to herself.
“W-Woah, this is so weird.” She keeps giggling like a school girl. As she walks forward she places one foot directly in front of the other as if she’s walking a tightrope. “How long was I in there?” The hand that had been resting on the chamber now flies up to press against her temple.
“We were all in there a few weeks, the entire time we were in the Neo World Program.” He answers cautiously, trying to feel out what state Ibuki is in. The last thing they need is to have another situation like Hiyoko.
“Neo World Program…” Ibuki winces as she curls her hands into tight fists, “Oh yeah…so that wasn’t a nightmare…” Hearing Ibuki without her characteristic energy feels foreign and wrong. Given the situation though perhaps it would be stranger for her to still be her normal self.
“Unfortunately not…”
“I see…I died then…Ha, that’s so weird!” Ibuki forces a chuckle as her legs wobble underneath her. Her smile is shallow and broken - never quite reaching her eyes.
He jumps back, his arm tightening around Ibuki’s, “Wait are you okay?”
Ibuki frowns anxiously before she notices it, her hand shifting to wipe below her nose. Thick blood is dripping down from her nose over the ridge of her lip. She does her best to wipe it away but that just leaves a pink smear across her cheek. More blood instantly takes its place making the whole attempt pointless.
“Aaaah! This is super uber bad right?!” Ibuki starts breathing faster and faster, her hand soaked through with blood.
“No! No, it’ll be fine.” He gives her a gentle squeeze and pulls more of her weight onto him. “We just need to get you cleaned up. Your body has been through a large amount of stress.”
It takes longer than he would like for them to stumble over to the kitchen. As soon as they reach it he slides her onto a chair and runs off to grab her some tissues. Handing them over to her she pinches her nose and tilts her head upwards. Almost instantaneously it turns bright pink and small droplets begin dripping down.
“Here, take some more.” He shovels some more tissues into her hand and takes all her old bloody ones to the bin.
They sit there for a while constantly replenishing her tissues for a few minutes until the flow of blood finally dies down somewhat. Both of them are surrounded by a sea of blood, drops smeared across the table, their clothes and her own face. Normally it wouldn’t be too worrying for someone to have a nose bleed but given how long she’s effectively been comatose it’s not the most promising sign.
“Ibuki doesn’t know why she has a nosebleed. Ibuki doesn’t think she was that excited.” Ibuki mumbles nervously as she does her best to wipe up some of the drying blood.
“Well since its stopped now it’s probably fine, I’ll grab you some food though. That might help you feel a little better.”
Dinner has probably long since come and gone by this point but it’s not like there is anything that says they have to stick to a specific schedule. Ibuki doesn’t say anything but he takes her silence as her agreeing and begins moving about the kitchen, scrounging up some food. Even though it’s just the two of them he decides to make a large batch after all the kitchen has been suspiciously silent for the last few hours. He wouldn’t be surprised if everyone has been avoiding eating.
Not wanting to make anything too heavy he whips up a batch of ramen and slides a steaming bowl in front of Ibuki. Only when the food is right in front of her does she fully dispose of all of her tissues so she can properly take a bite.
Although she’s grinning brightly, blood is still smeared all across her making for a surprisingly horrific scene. Part of him wants to grab a wet cloth and clean her up like she’s a toddler but it’s probably more important that she eats than that she looks presentable.
“Hopefully it’s not too hot.” He mumbles as he pours out another bowl for himself and takes a seat at the table beside her.
“It’s bombastic! I never knew Hajime was such a good cook!” Ibuki manages to squeeze out the words between heaping spoons of food. Ramen broth spills all around the table but he can’t bring himself to care about that right now.
“Well, it’s a bit of a new development.”
How are you even supposed to explain the Izuru situation to people? He assumes she’s at least somewhat aware of who he is - or was - but sometimes he can’t tell for sure with Ibuki.
For a while they eat quietly, nothing but the sounds of Ibuki messily scarfing down food to keep them company. However after a few minutes when the bowls start looking a little emptier she leans back in her chair, eyeing up Hajime cautiously.
“So…you woke Ibuki up from that computer game right?” She spins her chopsticks around in the bowl as she speaks.
“Basically. Because you…died in there it was a little more complicated but you effectively woke up.”
“Ibuki remembers how horrible it was seeing Teruteru, Byakuya, Mahiru and Peko dying. And…” Ibuki swallows hard, closing her eyes for a moment, “And Ibuki remembers what happened Hiyoko. What about the others?”
He supposes it makes sense that she would be aware of what happened to Hiyoko, she had been present at the murder after all. Maybe part of him just hoped that she had been too out of it to truly pick up on anything that happened. Of course life could never be that easy though. Ibuki had to remember every second of what happened just like all the others.
“We already woke all of those guys up. They’re all healthy and alive again. After you died…Mikan got executed for your murder. And then we lost Gundham, Nekomaru and Nagito.” He leaves out Chiaki all together. Unlike him, she should be fully aware of what this all means for Chiaki. If she remembers everything from before then they already know what happened to her.
“I see…but the rest of you were all okay though?” She perks up ever so slightly, even now trying to find a slight silver lining amongst the fog and mud.
“Yes, the rest of us made it out. I don’t know how okay any of us really are but we didn’t have to go through what you guys did.”
Ibuki drops her chopsticks and frowns, “Where are the others now then? Ibuki thinks it’s kinda sad eating on our lonesome. Didn’t you make food for everyone?”
“Yeah, they’re all in their rooms now though. The only one that’s left is Byakuya.” And Mahiru but he isn’t sure if that really counts. Would she have left of her own free will if Hiyoko hadn’t been in pain?
Out of nowhere Ibuki suddenly pushes out from her chair and tries to stand. Unsurprisingly it isn’t quite as gallant or elegant as Ibuki might be imagining. As if there’s nothing but ice beneath her feet she instantly begins slipping. She’s only held upright by the firm grip that she holds on the table.
“Woah, be careful. I know you’re strong but your muscles are still weak at the moment.” He dives forward as fast as he can and slips his arm through hers once again.
“Whoops, Ibuki probably should have thought that through before getting up.” She chuckles nervously but leans into him for support. He really should get her walker sooner rather than later.
“What are you even trying to do?”
“Everyone should get food. They definitely won’t come out of they don’t know food is here.” She hardens her expression resolutely.
He wants to tell her there’s no point and that she’s getting her hopes up for nothing but he refrains. Who knows, they got Akane to come out when they were beginning to think it was impossible so maybe it will work?
Still moving about together they knock on each door in turn, yelling out promises of food. No one opens the door but that isn't enough for Ibuki to drop her smile.
“Ibuki can’t wait until everyone is together again.” Ibuki mumbles as she plays with her food.
Everyone, huh? He wonders whether she would be including Mikan in that. Knowing Ibuki she probably would despite everything. But even if she is happy to have Mikan around not everyone else will feel the same way about their own situations. Her dreams are just that.
“Yeah? What do you want to do when everyone is together?”
“Hmmmm…we should have a big concert! We never got to finish the Fuyuhiko recovery party after all.”
The recovery party… After everything that happened that evening he almost forgot about it all together.
“That would be -” He starts to speak but Ibuki stares right past him, her eyes sparkling.
“Sonia!” She throws her arms up and waves the other girl over. Grin toothy as her entire expression lights up brilliantly.
“I did not realise you had awoken Ibuki! I would have woken up if I had known!”
Sonia immediately wraps Ibuki up in a hug, burying her face in Ibuki's long hair. Ibuki grips the back of Sonia's shirt tightly as she screws her eyes shut. Neither one of them is willing to make the first move to part.
They’re so wrapped up in each other they don’t even notice as Byakuya hangs around the corner, not quite daring to take a proper step in. From their hidden away spot they watch the entire exchange between Ibuki and Sonia.
“Shall I pour you both some bowls?” He looks between Byakuya and Sonia as he moves over towards the kitchen.
“Oh, yes please.”
Everyone takes a seat at the table as he brings the steaming bowls over. Even though Ibuki has already finished most of her food she stays at the table, holding her head with her hands.
“You should have seen the theme park island! We traveled on a roller coaster which was amazing.” Sonia coos between bites of food. Her hands whoosh about as if she’s trying to follow the path of the roller coaster from memory.
“A theme park?! Oh mannn! I can’t believe Ibuki missed out on the fun!” Ibuki pouts and curls her fists into her hair.
It makes him wonder if there are even still roller coasters and theme parks out there in the world or have they all already been lost to time? If there are still some out there perhaps they can finally take Ibuki and the others out to one when they leave this place.
“It seems things got much stranger after I…left.” Byakuya coughs into their hand casually, half choking on their own words or perhaps its the noodles.
“Stranger is one way to put it.” Hajime scoffs under his breath, too quietly for the others to hear.
“It was strange and scary but there were good moments too.” Sonia maintains a firm and cheery smile.
Normally the idea of finding any good moments in that place would be crazy but given the world they’ve come from he can’t say he disagrees. Especially now they are able to bring back their lost friends. After everything they have done in reality maybe there were moments in the Neo World that were better than what they could feel in the real world.
“Yeah, totally! It was really scary when people were dying but when we were sending off Mahiru and having fireworks on the beach and when we had the party for Fuyuhiko it was uber fun! Kinda makes me sad that we aren’t classmates anymore.”
“Yes, I am afraid our days of studying together are long gone. Perhaps we can all stick together though, even after all this.”
It’s a warm and gentle thought but he’s pretty sure they all - even Ibuki - understand it’s not going to happen. Nevertheless they all leave the table with hope in their hearts and that’s all they can ask for.
Chapter 16: 10th of May
Summary:
Even more progress is made as people wake up bringing the end into sight
Chapter Text
10/05 - 03:33
“How’s he doing Akane?” Hajime asks quietly as he steps into the room. Trying to keep his voice low enough to not be disruptive but loud enough for Akane to hear him.
Two plates are in his hands, both stacked with sandwiches and a small bowl of the leftover ramen from dinner. Being as gentle as he can, he sets one of the plates beside Akane, balancing it on the edge of the chamber tentatively.
Akane is perched on one of the dining room chairs she had dragged through into the room. Ever since she had woken up an hour or two ago she’d been locked into this spot of the room, staring down into Nekomaru’s chamber with an uncharacteristic wistfulness marring her features. It’s not often that he wishes he could see into the gymnasts mind but this is most certainly one of those moments. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen her this quiet and still for this long. Who knew it was even possible?
“I mean, he ain’t awake. He’s just like the rest of ‘em.” She nods around at the last few remaining chamber. Four more in total. To imagine just a few days ago it was crazy to imagine ever regaining their lost friends and now they’re here. It might not have all gone exactly how he would have hoped but given the situation they should enjoy this moment while they can.
“He will be soon. After Mikan he will be the next one in line.”
“Hmmmm…”
He wants to ask her so many questions. He wants to know what she’s going to say to him. How is she feeling? What is she going to say to him? But he thinks better of it, instead grabbing a chair from the desk and pulling it up beside Mikan’s chamber, setting his food down on the edge.
For a moment they just sit together in silence as he begins eating his food. As always Akane’s sits completely untouched on the side. He doesn’t have enough energy to try and push her on the food right now though. Not when she’s already in this state. Maybe when Nekomaru is awake again he can knock some sense into her but for now she at least has food ready in case she changes her mind.
He looks around cautiously, examining the emptiness, “Have you seen Kazuichi around?”
The other boy has been gone for hours now. Neither hide nor hair has been seen anywhere. It’s not normal for him to be gone this long. Could he have gone straight to bed? Hajime is certain he would have seen Kazuichi pass by though and last time he had chosen to sleep in here. Still there is no denying he’s been missing for hours.
“Kazuichi? He’s gone?”
Ah, so no help here then. Well, he knew it was a long shot.
“Yeah, I haven’t seen him since before Ibuki woke up.”
He tries to think about what Kazuichi had been talking about before he excused himself but nothing comes to mind. Everything had been completely normal as far as he was concerned. He supposes he just needs to have faith that he’s okay. He’ll probably just wander back whenever he’s done.
Checking the clock he shovels down a few more bites of his sandwich before standing up and brushing himself down. It’s getting pretty close to the time now so he should probably start looking for Sonia. She had made him promise to fetch her for Mikan so she doesn’t miss the wake up time again. He hates to think of what she would say if he didn’t bring her along. This time she might really strangle him.
Before leaving, he shuffles a little closer to Akane, checking in on her tentatively, “I’m just going to grab Sonia, are you okay staying here?” He asks as if she hadn’t been sitting here alone for ages before he came storming in.
“Yeah, ‘course.” Her jaw tightens but she doesn’t move her head an inch as she speaks.
He knows he should be able to trust Akane and yet he finds himself jogging back across the hall and along to Sonia’s room. It’s not like Akane is careless but with her in this state who knows if she would be paying attention to the screen and signals - not that there should be any given the current time. The sooner he gets back the better, just in case…
Almost instantly after he knocks on the door it swings open. Sonia is stood in the doorway but over her shoulder he can spot Ibuki sat cross legged on the floor. Her hair is swept over one shoulder, small plaits weaved into the strands.
“Ibuki? I thought you were meant to be resting.” He frowns, narrowing his eyes.
When they had parted ways after the meal she had promised she would get a good nights rest to regain some energy. He should have realised she wouldn’t be able to be kept down for long though. It would be a miracle if she rested at all.
“Ah…” She chuckles awkwardly, poking her index fingers together shyly, “Ibuki couldn’t sleep so Sonia offered to chat with Ibuki for a little bit.”
It’s not like he doesn’t remember how it felt when he had only just woken up. Given how these guys also had to experience death he can only imagine how their nights must be… Now he thinks about it he’s spent so little time in the rooms here since starting work that he has no idea if the nightmares are filling the corridors. From all the way out by the Neo World Program he doesn’t hear the other people waking up like he used to. Although all things considered that probably for the best.
“Hajime, is it already time?” Sonia snaps him out of his thoughts, her face stern and serious. Sharp lines cover her entire face.
“Uh, yes.”
Ibuki perks up curiously, doing her best to try and stand up despite her weakened form. Wobbling meekly, “Time for what?” She reaches up to grab onto a walker just behind her, using that to pull her onto two feet once again. Finally regaining some sense of balance.
Not wasting a second, he leans past Sonia to explain, “Mikan is going to wake up soon.”
“My apologies Ibuki, I will be back soon but I would like to be around when Mikan wakes up. You can remain in here if you would like or you could go and visit one of the others. I am sure Hiyoko and Mahiru would not mind your company.” Sonia bows deeply as she speaks.
However even as Sonia speaks, Ibuki swallows hard. Leaning tentatively against the walker, “Actually, can I come too?”
“You want to come?” He raises one eyebrow.
Being okay with Mikan coming back is one thing, but is she sure about this? After what happened with Fuyuhiko and Mahiru earlier is this really a good idea? He supposes that time it had been the ‘killer’ approaching the victim. If the victim is the one wanting to approach then who is he to stop her? It’s not like Ibuki would want to hurt Mikan after all.
“Are you sure?”
“Ibuki is sure.” Ibuki’s eyes are hard and sharp. It’s so foreign seeing such seriousness painted across her face for once. If she’s making this face then her mind is well and truly made up.
Clapping her hands together Sonia exclaims, “Okay then, let us leave together. Just tell us if you would like to return at any point.”
Half walking and half hobbling down the corridor they manage to make their way into the next room. Even though Ibuki had just come out of this place a few hours ago she drinks the sight in with eager eyes. He doesn’t miss the way she stares at each of the chambers in turn, counting up the still filled chambers around the room.
“Ah, Akane! I was wondering where you were.” Sonia waves gracefully as she steps into the room, snapping Akane to attention.
“Sorry, I’ve just been here the last few hours.” Akane moves to wave it off but freezes as she catches sight of Ibuki shuffling in wide eyed, “Ibuki, you’re here too?”
“Yep, Sonia and Hajime said it was okay.” For a second Ibuki looks between him and Sonia anxiously but he quickly offers her a reassuring nod. If he allowed Fuyuhiko to join with Mahiru then he’s not stopping Ibuki now.
“Yes, it might be nice for them to see each other. Perhaps seeing Ibuki alive will comfort Mikan somewhat.” Sonia offers up hopefully.
Given the way they left things off with Mikan in the past he’s not really sure what to expect from her. Will she react the same way everyone else has or will the despair disease have caused irreparable damage? They will find out soon enough.
Trying to make Ibuki as comfortable as possible, Hajime drags his old chair away from Mikan’s chamber, setting it closer to the doorway in case Ibuki wants to make a quick escape. Holding one of her arms, he helps her settle herself down in the chair. Leaving the walker at her side where she can grab it at a moments notice. As he settles her down, Sonia wanders over towards Akane. Leaning over Nekomaru and whispering something to Akane.
As they settle down to wait he moves about the room with his plate of food, offering refreshments to Sonia and Ibuki. They both take a sandwich each and nibble away as the time ticks by.
“Jeeez, this is taking longer than I thought.” Ibuki groans, leaning to one side to rest her head on the side of the walker.
“Yeah, it’s a lotta waitin’!” Akane chuffs.
“Unfortunately it isn’t a precise timing, it is more general and vague than we might prefer.”
“We just need to keep a look out for when the signal comes through.”
Sure enough, it doesn’t end up taking much longer. Even though they’re all already braced for the moment, it still manages to catch them off guard as the signal finally rings out.
By not they don’t need so much as a word before jumping into action. Sonia leaves Akane and Nekomaru’s side to run to the desk, watching the screen diligently as she nods over to him. Her jaw set as a dark fog covers her eyes.
As if sensing the rising tension, Ibuki begins to bounce her foot up and down until it is a thundering roar against the ground. His spine tingles at the noise but he digs his nails into the heel of his palm to remind himself not to say anything. This is probably just her way of coping, that’s all it is.
“Ready?” Sonia shouts out across the room, sending a jolt of energy through his body.
“Yes!”
“3…2…1…” As the countdown reaches zero he slams the button down once again.
Just like every other time, Mikan bucks upwards as she rushes back to life. Behind him he can hear Ibuki jumping up, her walker clattering as she tries to yank it into place. He does his best to ignore her though, Mikan needs all his attention right now. Hopefully Akane goes and help Ibuki while he’s busy.
Her eyes slam open at once - pale purple staring blankly up at the ceiling. He’s certain he must be in her sight range but she doesn’t even glance his way. It’s like nothing else in the world that interests her. Does she even know he’s there?
“Mikan? Mikan can you hear me?” He leans in even closer, waving a hand in front of her face but she still doesn’t blink, “Mikan? Just blink if you can hear me.”
“Is she okay? Did something go wrong?!” Ibuki’s panicked voice calls from the side lines and he can hear the hurried scuffle of the metal brushing against the floor.
Despite how frozen she had been before, all at once the illusion is shattered before he can react. Like the flood gates had been opened, tears began spilling heavily down her cheeks. Both her arms reach up to brush away the tears with the back of her sleeve. Her bottom lip trembles weakly as she lays there shaking.
“Yes, I think she’s okay.” He reaches a hand back trying to hold Ibuki back for a moment. At least until Mikan has pulled herself together somewhat.
“Oh thank god…” He can hear Sonia’s soft whisper echo around the room.
“Mikan, it’s Hajime. Do you remember me?” He tentatively reaches towards her, resting his hand gently against her shoulder to get her attention. Finally her bloodshot eyes drift towards him and recognition flashes in her eyes.
“Hajime. Of course. I - I…” Her words catch in her throat as she gulps wet tears. “I-I r-remember everything-g.” Although her hands are still shaky, she does her best to try and rub her eyes and shield her face but she fumbles too much to be successful.
“It’s okay, Mikan. None of us care about that right now. We just want to get you back safe and healthy. Can you sit up?”
He carefully removes his hand, holding out for her to take instead. Trying to distract her the only way he knows how. After a few seconds her shaky hand finds its way into his as she uses him to pull her upright. Jolting forwards unevenly.
“H-Hajime -” But before she can finish her thoughts Ibuki has launched herself at the girl.
“Mikan! Don’t worry Ibuki doesn’t blame you! We’ve all done bad things and that was Monokuma’s fault.” Even though her words sound so resolute they’re punctuated by the sound of tears catching in her throat. He might not be able to see her face but he doesn’t need to to know exactly what she looks like right now.
Her arms squeeze around Mikan so tight he is almost worried she’s going to accidentally choke the girl. Mikan, on the other hand, sits there frozen still. Her hand is still gripping Hajime’s but other than that she hasn’t moved at all. More like a deer in the headlights than a touching reunion between old friends.
“She’s right Mikan. While it was not pleasant that it happened, we do not blame you. If we did we would be rather hypocritical.” Sonia takes a few steps forwards until she can meet Mikan’s gaze from where she’s being locked away.
“B-But I…”
“That’s ol’ news now.” Akane waves nonchalantly but she hasn’t even moved an inch from her chair, “We definitely forgive you.”
If he had thought the flood gates broke before then he had been severely mistaken. At once a river of tears fall down the dark haired girls face. Her cheeks flush bright pink and her lips wobble but she just clings onto Ibuki even tighter. A lifeline in the endless ocean.
Not all hope is quite lost yet.
In the end he steps back and lets Ibuki and Sonia sweep up Mikan. Well it’s not exactly ‘letting’, they have helped her leave the chamber and lead her off to her room before Hajime can even get a word in edge ways. It’s probably for the best though - if anyone is going to make her feel better then it will be those two.
With the three of them gone there is no one left but him and Akane in the room. Him, Akane and the remaining three classmates. The humming seems to get louder and louder the more he lets himself think about it. The lump in his throat steadily growing. Sometimes, through all the other noises, he could swear he can hear their hearts beating and lungs breathing but of course that is nothing more than his mind playing tricks on him.
“Did you really mean that?” He clears his throat and asks cautiously to the silent room.
“Huh?”
“Did you really mean what you said to Mikan?”
He remembers the way she had defended Mikan during that trial. If anyone had been willing to stand by Mikan until the end it had been Akane. The last one standing against the rest of the tide. There was no doubting Mikan had taken good care of Akane during those fateful days but she had betrayed Akane as well as Hiyoko and Ibuki. Akane had stood by her and defended her for nothing.
“Yeah, ‘course. I wouldn’t lie about that stuff.” Akane states it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “Now we’ve got everyone together it’s better to just forget the past.”
Forget the past. If only it was that easy. The world would be much simpler if they could just forget. Even with the Neo World Program they didn’t end up getting to forget anything.
“You’re right.”
After that he lets them fall back into an easy silence. As soon as he stops talking he might as well stop existing for Akane. Perhaps it’s better that way though.
Instead he seats himself in front of the computer, busying himself with trying to navigate the reams of code. He’s not even sure what he’s looking for at this point. Just busying himself for the sake of it. Anything to kill some time.
As he's scanning through he notices a small chat box tucked away deep within everything else. The cursor flickers invitingly. Could this be…?
Humming to himself he brings his fingers to the keys and types out a short message:
Hello, is this Alter Ego?
Yes. Who is this?
The words pop through almost instantly. At this point he shouldn’t even be surprised. When has Alter Ego not been right there and waiting?
So he supposes this was how Kirigiri communicated with Alter Ego in the past. Although he had never seen the two of them talking it had been clear they did talk in some way and he is willing to bet Kirigiri wasn’t strapping herself down like he had. Based on what he remembers the only time she ever went in was likely the time they entered to save him and the others.
Hajime.
There is a brief pause for a few seconds before the text flickers back once more. Words lighting up the screen in the blink of an eye.
It’s good to hear from you. Is everything okay?
Yes, everything has been perfect so far. All of them have woken up perfectly well.
That’s a relief. It is a little worrying when you can’t tell what’s happening.
It’s almost all over now - would you like me to keep updating you about the situation though?
He’s not really sure why he offers. The words appear on his screen without his brain even considering it but he presses send anyway. He might not be able to see Alter Ego this way but when he closes his eyes he can perfectly imagine what the AI looks like as it speaks. Those big brown eyes trying to hide its enthusiasm at the prospect of the idea.
Only if it’s not too much trouble. If it is then it doesn’t matter.
Of course it isn’t.
Thank you then.
The computer falls still for a moment, the stream of words ending as they both pause. Is it waiting for him to say something? He has no clue what to even begin writing now though.
Before you go, how did you find this channel? It was supposed to be private - I thought Kyoko was the only one with access. Did she let you on? Is she with you?
For a few seconds he pulls back from the keyboard, going through all the conversations he’d had with AI recently. Was he mistaken or did the others not inform Alter Ego of what was going on before they left? In a way he supposes it makes sense, after all they had all been in this room when Naegi came to announce their sudden plans. Perhaps they had believed Hajime or one of the others would inform the AI on their behalf.
Kirigiri?
Yes, it’s been a bit of time since I last heard from any of them. I assume it is because you have been busy using the machine but I was just wondering how things were going.
Kirigiri and the others left a few days ago. The future foundation was getting more aggressive so they left to try and delay them as long as possible.
Even though he’s trying his best to be sensitive and honest, the conversation completely falls off on Alter Ego’s side. Silence. It’s deafening. Should he be sending another message? Is Alter Ego still there? Does it believe Hajime or does it think this is a long con lie?
I see…hopefully they’re all safe and okay.
Hopefully.
It has been days now but there’s still no change on that front. When you’re so swept up in everything else it’s easy to forget about all the things going on in the background. If he begins getting worried now he would be disrespecting Naegi and the others. Faith is all they have to go on.
Let me know if you hear from any of them. I haven’t been this far from them in years now…
He had never really considered if this was the same AI that had been present in the killing game before. Based on the way Junko had obliterated the AI he assumes this isn’t quite the same model - more likely the recovered original Alter Ego. How did they even find it after escaping the killing game? Did they future foundation store away the AI for all this time?
I promise I will.
Thank you. I should probably get back to work keeping an eye or your program - just in case.
Good luck. We will talk more later.
No other messages come through, even as the hours start to tick by, yet he simply leans back in his chair. Sighing deeply he reclaims his half finished book and begins thumbing through the pages once again. They can talk again when things are less busy. When the others are happy and healthy. Until then he can keep himself busy.
~~~
10/05 - 10:15
For hours it’s just him and Akane. Ibuki and Sonia never make a reappearance, he can’t even hear them pottering around the kitchen or common room. In all likelihood they’re probably still sealed away in Mikan’s room to help her get settled.
In the back of the mind he wonders if he should be making up some food again but he can’t bear to get up from the chair. If people are hungry then they’re fully capable of using the kitchen themselves. They don’t need him to hold their hand the entire time.
In fact he’s so comfortable in his little nook in the corner of the room that he has no intention of moving at all until the signal appears. At least not until he sees a sharp silhouette drift past the door way, trying to duck into the next room. Flashes of pink hair spill out as the shape tries to sneakily dart away.
Snapping up immediately, he tries to shout down the hall before they can hurry out of earshot, “Kazuichi!” He jumps up and jogs across the room. Leaning past the doorway, he stares into the communal area, hungry eyes searching out the other boy.
Kazuichi is still dressed in the same clothes from yesterday, his hair knotted and strands scruffily shooting out all over the place. He’s never been the most tanned guy - probably a result of the years of indoor projects - but he has never looked this ghostly before. At this point his skin might as well be translucent. The only pop of colour on his entire body (hair not with-standing) are the dark bags under his eyes and sharp red veins tracing through his eyes.
“Kazuichi! Where did you disappear to?!” He is all too aware of how much he sounds like a lecturing parent but that doesn’t stop him.
In this place you don’t just get to disappear like that. It's not like there is anywhere to go after all. What if something bad had happened? How long would it take for any of them to even notice?
“Huh?” Kazuichi blinks slowly, his eyes glazed over. It’s like he’s seeing straight through Hajime.
Any of his annoyance quickly melts away as he drinks in the sight of his friend, “Are you okay? There’s still a little bit of ramen left if you need some food.”
“I -” Hajime waits patiently as the other boys mouth opens and closes pathetically like a fish slowly suffocating on the shore, “I’m okay…” His tone is so final and stiff that he instantly expects to see Kazuichi’s back as he resumes stalking back to his room but he doesn’t move. Not even a step.
This wasn’t exactly how he saw this conversation going. There was a lot more talking happening in his head, not whatever this is meant to be.
“Seriously though, where did you go.”
In the minute he has to wait before Kazuichi decides to reply, he still expects another confused non answer but instead -
“I was down in the video room downstairs that Naegi mentioned.” The video room…that can only mean… “I just need to rest. Sorry. I’ll help out with whoever’s left if I feel better later.”
And just like that Kazuichi runs off again. Before Hajime’s mind has adjusted and fully processed what he’s saying, Kazuichi has slipped away - undoubtedly locking his bedroom door behind him. Even if the door hasn’t been locked it probably isn’t best for him to push the situation right now. It’s not like he doesn’t remember what it was like. If someone had barged in on him when he was still processing things he isn’t sure he would have been able to forgive them. In this world there are some things that people have to do themselves.
Reluctantly he takes a deep breath in and shakes his head clear. This isn’t the time to be worrying about Kazuichi. He’ll come out when he’s ready. Instead his eyes flick over to the clock in the communal area, it’s slowly getting to that time yet again. Sonia had made a big deal about wanting to be present so if he’s already over here then this is probably the best time to peek his head in at her. There are no excuses left for him to not talk to her at this point.
Doing his best to redirect his energy, he storms over Sonia’s room but he’s not exactly surprised to find it still empty and quiet when he knocks. Instead he moves over to Mikan’s room, giving the door a short sharp knock. But that too remains completely still and quiet. Was he mistaken? Maybe they actually stayed in Ibuki’s room, it’s not like they had to go to Mikan’s room specifically...
However, right before he turns around ready to leave a soft sound on the other side of the door makes him stop. Holding his breath he strains his ears as hard as he can. Soft breathing. Gentle snores. Delicate rustling. There’s definitely someone in there. Perhaps more than one person.
Cautiously he reaches down to the door handle, gripping the metal with a fist. He tried knocking so he should probably just leave - its not like whoever is in here consented to him entering. But then the sight of Sonia flashes before him again. Pushing through the feeling he pushes against the door gently.
Much to his surprised the door swings open immediately. No lock then. It might just be him justifying his own actions but of they’re not lock the door then it can’t be too serious, right?
It takes a second for his eyes to fully adjust to the darkness but when they do he’s greeted by the sight of Mikan, Sonia, and Ibuki all curled up together. They’ve piled onto the one bed, bodies sprawled on top of each other and limbs tied awkwardly together. Mikan is sandwiched underneath them both, being ganged up on by both sides, and yet she appears to be smiling even in sleep. It’s a far cry from how he remembers her a few hours ago. It takes everything he has to wipe away his own memories of the last time he saw Mikan this way, shoving them deeper down until he can no longer think about those memories.
In spite of how warm it might be in their little cuddle puddle, they still have a thick duvet thrown over them as if they’re trying to roast themselves alive. From the other side of the room he can already feel the suffocating heat of the entire situation and he’s not stuck in the middle of it. For his own comfort he almost wants to free them all from their shackles but he holds himself back. If it was a problem then they all would have
Given how comfortable they look he is half tempted to simply turn back and head over to Akane and Nekomaru again without interrupting. But if he did that he would be breaking his promise to Sonia. If he knows Sonia, and by now he is pretty sure it’s safe to say he does, she would be devastated to have missed another one of their friends regardless of the situation. Especially Nekomaru.
No matter how much they might want to forget the bad things, there is no denying that they still remember what happened in the Neo World Program. With how things ended with Gundham and Nekomaru he has to believe Sonia would have some stake in this reunion.
Staying as quiet as humanly possible, he creeps deeper into the room. With every step he takes he half expects the girls to suddenly snap awake but they just keep snoring softly. As he gets closer Ibuki suddenly shifts in the bed, rolling slightly away from Mikan and Sonia, but her eyes remain sealed tightly shut. Despite the thundering of his heart, he keeps pushing forwards. The sooner he gets it over with, the better.
“Sonia.” He whispers as quietly as physically possible as he gently taps the girls arm, doing everything he can to not wake the others, “Sonia.”
But no matter how much he taps her she stays curled up still. Her hand has been knotted in Mikan’s long ragged hair and her cheek is pressed deeply into her shoulder. He had thought that the longer he stared at the scene, the more sense it would make but instead his brain just stutters trying to figure out how they ended up like this.
“Sonia, come on. Wake up.” He raises his voice ever so slightly, shaking her slightly harder.
Next to Sonia, Mikan begins groaning softly but thankfully Sonia’s eyes begin fluttering open at the same time. It takes a few seconds for her eyes to catch up as the darkness overwhelms them both.
“Hajime? What are you doing here?”
“You asked me to wake you remember.” He hisses under his breath.
“Hmm…” She frowns, her eye fluttering gently closed, “Oh, yes. Is it already time?” But even as she speaks her eyes slowly close tighter and tighter. It looks like she’s about a second away from drifting right back into her dreams again. Well, at least she can’t say he didn’t try.
“Basically, there might be half an hour left.” He can’t remember exactly how long was left but there was definitely less than an hour left at this point.
Still that is enough to get Sonia’s attention. At once she begins fighting to force her eyes open, rubbing at them with the back of her free hand. They still flutter heavily but at least her brain seems somewhat engaged now. With that she begins to try and assess the damage of the situation around her.
“I see. I do not want to wake the others so I will do my best to free myself. If I manage it I will join you.”
Not wanting to risk saying another word, he just nods in response. Silently beginning to creep out of the room as fast as he possibly can. As soon as he’s across the threshold, he pulls the door closed behind him again. Sealing Sonia into the dark room beyond still hidden amongst everyone else.
He knows he should try to keep hope in her, but it would be a miracle if she ever managed to free herself from that mess. At least if she wants to do it without waking either them anyway. He knows all too well how tightly Mikan can grip people in her sleep... Nevertheless he tries to maintain faith as he heads back to Akane and Nekomaru.
As he reenters the room Akane doesn’t even look up to acknowledge him. At this point he wonders if she even noticed he left in the first place. Either way it doesn’t really matter, the only thing that matters is they’re ready when the time comes.
However, just when he’d started to write off Sonia entirely, her haggard form stumbles into the room. One arm still slung in front of her eyes, trying to make any kind of makeshift protection as she stumbles about the room. Shrinking away from the bright light filling the room. As such she only just misses the door frame as she stumbles over.
“You made it.”
“I did my best!” Sonia pumps her fist in what he assumes is meant to be a gesture of power but the yawn she gives off as she does it doesn’t exactly sell the action very well.
“The others are still asleep?”
“Ibuki woke up briefly but she should go back to bed quickly and thankfully Mikan remained fast asleep. She must have been mentally exhausted even though she only just woke up from the program.” As she plops herself down in a chair next to Hajime she begins to wave half-heartedly. Still yawning even as she sits there beside him.
Her head lolls to one side, resting on his shoulder as she yawns again. Her head brushes against his neck but he doesn’t have the heart to shoo her away. Since he was the one who woke her up he probably deserves to deal with this at least. Although he might not be able to see her face from here he is willing to guess her eyes have already fluttered shut. At this point she might just pass out on his shoulder.
“It certainly seems that way.”
He supposes it isn’t really a true sleep while you’re in that place - even when you’re dead. Even if you haven’t been using your body it can still utterly drain you.
“How is Akane doing?” Sonia mumbles but her words come out muffled from the tiredness and angle.
“I’m not too sure, I think she’s just worried about Nekomaru. She’s tuned everything else out at this point.”
He tries to speak quietly but at this point that doesn’t even matter. He could yell and he doubts Akane would blink an eye. And if she was listening then whispering isn’t going to stop her from catching what he says in a room that’s this dead quiet.
“I see.”
Sure enough, the closer and closer they get to the time, the stiffer and stiffer Akane grows. He could swear he can see her ears twitch as the seconds count down. Some instinctive part of her can either feel the growing tension of Sonia and Hajime, or can sense the passage of time itself as she grows more and more restless the closer they get. It’s like she can physically feel how close they are getting.
Although Akane isn’t facing the computer, as soon as the signal flashes she’s up and ready. While him and Sonia haven’t had time to flinch, she’s already up an moving with the adrenaline pumping through her veins keeping her moving forward at top speeds.
“Is it time?” Her voice shakes ever so slightly but it has an unfamiliar edge to it. It’s impossible to tell if its nerves, excitement, fear or a mix of all three.
“Yeah, you ready in position?” He gives her a short sharp warning and she only tenses her jaw further. Not a single word slips out.
As he counts her down, she holds both hands over the button. From across the room he can still see her hands shaking but he pretends he doesn’t see it as he gives his sole focus to the screen in front of him. As they hit zero she slams her hands down, flinching back immediately as if she had just been electrocuted.
Sonia grips onto his arm tightly and begins charging forwards, dragging Hajime with her. It isn’t enough to be in the room, they have to grab a front row seat.
“Is he okay?” Her head whips around towards Hajime and Sonia, her eyes wide as if she’s never seen this process happen before. He’s not sure he’s ever seen her look this young and small.
Even as she stares at him he can see Nekomaru slowly stirring behind her. The boys, no mans, hand is twitching as he slowly reaches up to cradle his own head.
“Why don’t you look and see?” He nods over at the slowly stirring form just beyond her shoulder. Sucking in a weak breath, Akane turns around and peers in. Bracing herself even though she’s doing nothing more than turning around.
“Akane?” Nekomaru groans, his hands still pressed to both sides of his head.
“You’re back!” Akane barks out a laugh, small tears welling up in her eyes. It takes him back to the moment they had found Nekomaru’s body which feels like years ago at this point now. Nekomaru might not have been able to see what state she had been when they lost him but he can most certainly see her now.
“Ha! Nekomaru Nidai can never be kept down.” Even in this state he manages to pull out a boisterous laugh. Although Sonia’s grip on his arm doesn’t loosen, she still can’t hold back the soft laugh that leaves her lips. The sound is contagious.
“Sure, sure.” Akane rolls her eyes but she holds her hand out towards him anyway. Without a second thought Nekomaru grips onto it, letting Akane yank him up roughly. It might lack grace but it does the job at least.
As soon he’s sat upright he grips his head again, swaying ever so slightly as he tries to regain his balance. His usually tanned complexion is now visibly pale - a stark contrast to the image he’s used to seeing of the man.
“Easy now, don’t want you collapsin’ on me.”
Akane slides her arm under Nekomaru's, pulling his weight towards her with ease. For his part Nekomaru does his best to push on the side of the chamber, trying to pull his weight but there is only so much he can do.
Sonia starts moving towards them, not waiting to jump in and take Nekomaru’s other side. However, before she can Hajime grips the back of her shirt, holding her back. Keeping his movements as small and subtle as possible, he gives her a shake of the head and gently pulls her back towards him. Thankfully she picks up on the message and doesn’t make another dash for the pair.
“What happened?” Nekomaru groans as Akane lowers him from the chamber and leads him over to the walker.
“You just woke up from the Neo World Program. You’ve been unconscious for over a month now.” Hajime finally speaks up. As soon as he does Nekomaru snaps his head over in Hajime’s direction as if he’s only now noticing their presence.
“I remember that.”
“Yeah, you died…” The bluntness of Akane’s words catches him off guard instantly. It takes a few blinks for him to fully process what she’s saying.
“Akane!” Sonia gasps but she’s cut off by another boisterous laugh.
“That’s the fourth time now. It seems death can’t keep Nekomaru Nidai down!”
The light-hearted tone is hard to reconcile with his words. He does understand what happened, right? Then again, he did almost die when he was younger. Maybe this sort of stuff just messes with your perception of things like this. Once you have stared death in the face once you are never quite the same person.
“Look, don’t go dyin’ again! I gotta fight you and get strong so you can’t run away!” As she says those words she clips him around the side of the head with a firm hand.
“I accept!”
And that’s that. No break down or tears. Just a blunt: don’t die, and a few laughs. The only thing keeping him tied to reality right now is Sonia. Her eyes are still shimmering with tears but her mouth is hanging open. They both just stand their blinking aimlessly. What are you meant to say in this situation? So far he’s pretty certain there is no pre-written guide for handling this kind of stuff.
Even when Akane and Nekomaru are long gone he doesn’t dare move. No matter how he tries to wrack his brain none of it quite fits right. Perhaps this is all just a weird dream he’s having…perhaps.
And yet time passes on and he never wakes up. At a certain point, he’s not exactly sure when, he just gives in. They might as well take the wins where they can, it’s not like they are getting a lot of hand outs around here after all.
~~~
10/05 - 17:40
“Do you mind if I press the button this time?” Sonia asks, her hand idly playing with her nails as she shifts her weight from side to side, “I just think it should be me who does this.”
“Of course.”
First Akane and then Sonia. He probably shouldn’t be surprised given who they are waking but he had somewhat assumed the opposite would happen. Who would want to have their loved ones lives in their hands? Then again, at this point the statistics would lean in their favour. After all, it has worked out this nicely so far which means an air of comfort and ease has fallen over them all.
“Thank you.” She does her best to give him a smile but it’s a million miles away from the ones he’s used to seeing from her.
Over years she perfectly sculpted her mask into a thing of elegance and beauty and a few weeks locked away in this place has striped her away of everything. She is bare and exposed even when she tries to reengage her mask again.
They both slowly drift over to their positions. His eyes are glued to the screen but he can hear the soft clacks of her heels on the ground as she shifts about to the side of the pod.
“So I just press this button, correct?” She clears her throat and delicately points down to the bright button on the surface. Other than maybe Kazuichi (although that’s slowly becoming more and more debatable), she has probably been here during the most procedures, and yet even she has to ask. He could swear he can see the palms of her hands glistening in the bright green glow.
“Yes. It’s nice and easy. There isn’t much you can do wrong.” All of them on this side have the easy jobs. It’s Alter Ego who is pulling most of the work here.
“Okay.”
Still her hand shakes as she readies herself. Even when Hajime gives her the go ahead she can’t stop her body from breaking out into goosebumps. They ripple all the way up her arm and disappear under her sleeve. After a few seconds he can even hear her teeth chattering.
“3…2…1…” They both hold their breaths.
Waiting.
Fingers crossed.
It’s only when they hear the first shaky stuttering breath from Gundham that they finally take that breath in. Shattering the moment around them.
“Ughhhh.” He groans softly shifting ever so slightly as he begins drifting in and out of consciousness.
She hops forward, her hands clenching the edge of the machine and her legs pressed as close to the surface as humanly possible. By now she’s shuffled up onto her tiptoes until she teetering awkwardly, barely gripping onto stability. At any moment she’s going to pitch forward and tumble on top of him just like that.
“Gundham?! Are you okay?”
“Sonia?” He blearily opens his eyes and blinks harshly at the sudden bright light in front of him. Yet even with his eyes screwed up he does his best to push himself up into an upright position.
“I cannot believe you are actually here again!” She says it like she hadn’t already seen a whole host of zombies wandering around this place by now.
Without waiting for him to answer or give her permission, she dives forward until she’s practically sat inside the machine. Taking the moment into her own control. Her arms have locked around his neck as tightly as is physically possible. There might as well be superglue sealing them both together. Even if Gundham had wanted to shove her off Hajime wouldn’t bet against her.
However, for the first second or two, that doesn’t look like the case at all. Although his hands are still unable to move, fully focused on keeping him propped upright, he allows his face to be buried in her thick hair. Through all the strands its hard to make out much of anything but he can still catch a short glimpse of his bright pink cheeks and the slight turn of the corner of his mouth. There is no hiding the soft sigh he breathes out as he leans his head ever so slightly closer to her.
But then a few seconds pass and with it, the moment passes. As if being wrenched out of a dream he flinches back as far as his position will let him. Even as he draws back, his skin is flushed brightly making his grey tattoo stand out more than ever before.
“Ah! Get back! If you value your life you will not get any closer.” As usual he tries to maintain his cool facade but his voice breaks ever so slightly as he calls out.
“Sorry, you are right.”
Without needing to be asked more than once Sonia pulls herself backwards until she’s no longer sat directly on his legs. With all the grace she can muster she drags herself back out of the chamber, the tips of her ears tinged pink.
It isn’t just Hajime who noticed that detail though, “Um…well…I suppose it is okay if it’s the dark lady.”
Normally this is the point in time when the boy man would sink into his scarf, practically smothering himself with it, but by the looks of things scarves hadn’t been permitted into the tanks. Instead he has to settle for the for inferior substitute of just turning his head away from Sonia and Hajime at once.
Hajime coughs as unsubtly as he can manage and struts over to Sonia’s side, “Do you want us to help you get out or are you okay?”
“Gundham Tanaka does not need the help of foolish mortals.” Gundham falls into his natural rhythms, tilting his head to scrunch up his nose but then he catches sight of Sonia, “However perhaps for now just the dark lady will do.”
Just as before she doesn’t need any more prompting to let her arm curl around his side. Locking together with well practiced ease. With a single firm tug she’s pulling him upright, shifting herself slightly to the side to bring her closer to him as he’s hoisted up and out.
“Here, lean on me.”
They work together to gently guide him out until both his feet are once more on solid ground. His hair flops around him awkwardly and he has to gently brush it out of the way with the back of his hand. It’s only then that Hajime realises he’s never actually seen Gundham like this before.
Every time they’ve met in the past the man has always been carefully coated in product with perfect insane hair. For the first time he gets to see the boy fully natural free from the products and perfect styling. He still has the short cropped undercut but instead of the usual precision when it comes to the rest of his hair, he is left with a wild mess of waves crashing over his forehead. They traipse down his face until they swoop by his tattooed eye. There’s only one thing that comes to mind staring at the sight: a drowned cat. Yet somehow the look suits him just as well as his usual one.
As Gundham stumbles forward he starts swaying until Sonia’s arm tightens even harder around him. He groans, holding his head and stomach as he does so. It takes Hajime straight back to how he had looked stumbling off of the roller coaster days or he supposes weeks ago. Or like they’re back floating on that rickety boat once more.
“What happened? My head burns hotter than the depths of the netherworld.”
“Well -” Sonia pauses, biting her lip, but Gundham doesn’t even let her finish her thought before he has started talking once again.
A random stream of thoughts spills from his lips, “I remember that cawing bear, his demonic games, and some strange flashing colours…they have been branded into my cursed soul.” In this state even Gundham can’t attempt to hide the way his body shivers at the mere words. It might be more of an instinct than anything else.
It might be the wrong thing to ask but he can’t hold himself back any further, “Do you remember anything else beyond the colours?” If he already remembers Monokuma then he has no doubt everything else is right there too. It’s not like anyone had been lucky enough to awake without that so far.
“You do not have to push yourself to remember right now, it will come with time.” Sonia just clings tighter to his arms as if that will somehow restrain the memories inside him. Wishful thinking, nothing more.
No matter how much she tugs on him, his feet stay firmly planted. Instead he slowly turns back around to examine where he has just come from. Something dark and quiet writhes behind his eyes.
Then, like everything suddenly clicks at once he yells out, “Our souls had been devoured by that accursed mechanism, hadn’t they! Ha! Any machinery that tries to contain Gundham Tanaka will not last long in this world!” Dragging Sonia along with him, he folds his arms close to his chest and puffs himself up.
Well that’s one way to describe it he supposes. When it comes to Gundham there is probably no point in even trying to correct his wording. Whatever he wants to call it will work.
But even now Sonia hasn’t given up on trying to pull Gundham away and towards the walker. Even from over here he can hear her breath beginning to catch again every time she sees the chambers around them. It’s like she thinks the machines are actually going to spark back to life and drag Gundham away from her again.
“Of course not. You can forget about the things that happened in there though. There is no reason to feel guilty about those things anymore.”
A sharp flinch runs through Gundham before he freezes up entirely, “Guilty?! I stand by my evil - I will not feel remorse for committing my sins.”
Sins…? It isn’t exactly the first time Gundham has referred to his actions that way. Sins. Evil. Treachery. And yet…
“And you shouldn’t. We would have starved in that place otherwise - for what it’s worth I do regret my sentiments from when we were trapped in there.” He clenches his jaw as he speaks, trying to maintain his gaze even though Gundham instantly looks away. Diverting their eyes from one another.
It’s not like he can make the other boy take in his words but he has to hope the words have reached him at the very least. He remembers every word Gundham had spoken at the end of that trial. Each one like needles digging underneath his very skin. Giving up on life is an insult to life itself. What would he think of the real original Hajime? The one he never got to actually meet.
“Hmph.” Like time has suddenly begun ticking again he suddenly clicks back into life, “I suppose I am not the only soul you have dragged kicking and screaming from the depth of the underworld then.” His eyes move once around the room, drinking in the sight of all the empty chambers now.
Only a single one remains occupied. Everything else is still and hollow now - just how they want it. One final chamber left…
“No, we have been bringing people back in order. Everyone else except Nagito is back and awake now so you’ll be able to see them all again. I think they’re all probably still hiding away in their rooms now though.” Hajime explains with a casual wave of his hand. Perhaps if he just looks casual enough on the outside…
Everyone seems reluctant to leave their small zones of safety, although he can’t say he blame them. When they started this he’d had a picture of this moment in his head, of the place bustling with energy and life, but of course that’s not how it worked out. Instead it somehow it feels more dead than ever.
Kazuichi has vanished back to his room, Fuyuhiko is sealed away with Peko (good luck trying to see either one of them again), Akane is now off with Nekomaru for a little while and after this chances are Sonia will disappear too. When it comes to Nagito chances are he will be the only one left for the other boy. What a wonderful welcome party they have made for him...
As he spins off into his own thoughts, Gundham starts laughing chaotically, his head tilted high and eyes closed, “Ha! Foolish! I could not care less what happened to those lesser spawn. I am impressed by both of your magical talents though.” He just about manages to crack one eye open to gaze at Sonia as he speaks and she instantly flushes luminous pink.
“It was not me.” She waves frantically, almost letting go of Gundham as she does so, “It was all Hajime and Kazuichi. They were able to save everyone!”
“I always knew you had the sealed magical talents. It seems I chose my disciple well.” As he speaks he offers Hajime a lazy half smirk. Normally he would find it patronising but coming from Gundham it is oddly endearing. Perhaps he’s just gotten a little too used to Gundham by now.
“Thanks. You should probably say that to Kazuichi instead then. He could do with the encouragment.”
“Ah, yes. I suppose even a great lord such as myself should pay my respects to the unfortunate man, lest a calamity befall his mind.”
His mind tries to piece together how Kazuichi would react to that interaction. Based on what he got to see of their relationship in the program he can’t physically imagine it going well, but that was inside the machine with no built up memories. After hearing all those stories its clear there’s years of earned respect and love there between everyone.
It’s only now that it clicks that he doesn’t really know most people’s true relationships with one another. Given how Sonia and Kazuichi’s relationship is no where near what it was in the program, it wouldn’t be strange for other relationships to have shifted too. Maybe it will go great when Gundham goes to visit him. Either way, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t think it would at least be humorous to see if nothing else. Kazuichi never needs to know this was Hajime’s idea.
As if trying to distract Gundham (and maybe save Kazuichi) Sonia turns on her stern demanding voice again, “First we need to make sure you are alright though. And I can bring you to your bedroom for the time being.”
At once Gundham lights up, “Of course! I must set up -” Gundham sticks his hands straight into his pockets, searching for something only to immediately freeze up for a split second, “Never mind.” He shakes his head dejectedly, taking in a deep stuttering breath.
At the sight Hajime’s stomach drops out of his stomach. The realisation hitting him just as fast as Gundham. How long ago did the four Dark Devas die now? It’s not like hamsters have the longest life span - even when they’re raised by Gundham. For just a few weeks they could pretend the hamsters were still here with him...
When Hajime had known him as a despair he still had some hamsters but it was never the four Dark Devas that had been on the island. It wasn’t just Chiaki that was brought back for a brief moment then. All five are now lost forever to the wind and the passage of time.
Both him and Sonia look between each other, lumps heavy in their throats. Silence is better than anything else they could say right now. Old grief that has been freshly dredged up isn’t exactly something you can just speak out of existence. If anyone can handle it though it would be Gundham. In his line of work this must not have been the first losses he’s had to live through. This is the cycle of life after all, just on a smaller scale.
Doing her best to keep the conversation moving on, Sonia break out into a smile, dragging Gundham even closer to the walker. “Here, you can use this to help you get used to walking again. Being trapped in that machine for weeks did a number on our muscles so it takes a few days for them to fully recover again.” She gently grabs his hands with her own, guiding them onto the cool metal frame.
However Gundham just wrinkles up his nose at the sight, “This?”
“They are not the most comfortable thing however it does let you move on your own which is nice.” Her smile falls away slightly but she stays as close as she can to him.
“I see…For now I will rely on this beastly contraption then.” Gundham rolls his shoulders ever so slightly but he takes a hold of the frame anyway.
Bit by bit he leans against the frame, testing out its endurance but as usual it holds firm and strong. Apparently that was enough of a test for Gundham though as he settles onto it as best he can. Of course, he doesn’t stop complaining - likely as a result of it ruining his perfect aesthetic - but that doesn’t stop him from following Sonia as closely as possible.
When him and Sonia leave the room feels emptier than ever. He is closer than ever to being successful and yet somehow he doesn’t feel any better.
~~~
10/05 - 20:37
“Hajime?” A voice rings out as someone gently taps his back, “Whatcha doin’ Hajime?”
“Huh?” He blinks slowly, his brain still lagging behind.
His head is resting on his folded arms as he rests on the desk. It takes a few seconds for his mind to catch up to whats going on. Last he remembers he had been chatting with Alter Ego but now…he must have accidentally let himself drift off. He could slap himself right now! Of all the times to do it he had to do it when he was on duty and no one else was around to keep an eye on things
“Woah, were you asleep?” Akane snorts, flopping down into a chair beside him. As casually as ever she lifts her legs and props them up on the edge of the desk so she can fully lean back in her chair.
“What time is it?!” He shoots upright at once. With a casual swipe of his arm he brushes away any lingering drool and shakes his head clear.
He better not have missed the signal! Alter Ego is going to kill him for dropping off the conversation without a word of warning.
“Ughh, almost nine.”
Sighing he sinks back slightly. Good, there is still a little time left before Nagito wakes up. Stress slowly washes off of him leaving him in a puddle of sweat.
“Thank god.” He rubs his face slowly as if that’s somehow going to chase away the edges of tiredness which are still gnawing at him.
“Why don’t you just go to bed? I thought you had this whole plan set up for taking turns resting.” Akane tilts her head to one side like a confused puppy. At this point he’s impressed she even remembers. That entire plan had collapsed within seconds. A fool errand nothing more. He should have known this would happen from the beginning.
“In case you hadn’t noticed everyone is gone.” He snorts looking around the empty room. Well almost empty. Only Akane and Nagito are left here keeping him company now.
To think just a few weeks ago having Akane and Nagito in the same room would be asking for trouble. It’s hard to maintain that level of anger they once felt at him after remembering everything else they’ve all done.
“I’m here.”
“What about Nekomaru? I think he needs your help more than I do.” He looks around anxiously as if he’s expecting Nekomaru to suddenly jump out from behind some furniture. No one else makes a move though - it really just is the two (or three) of them now.
After how things had gone so far he had really expected Akane to be sewn onto Nekomaru’s side for the rest of time. After all they still have yet to see hide or hair of Fuyuhiko even though a day has passed. Then again this is Akane - even in her darkest moments she’s always been pretty good at staying independent. Even the fear of losing Nekomaru again isn’t enough to shift that. Or maybe she’s just started thinking the same way Nekomaru does.
“Clearly not if you’re fallin’ asleep on the job.” Akane laughs at him, raising one of her eyebrows, “Look why don’t you just go rest now. You can get a few ‘ours in and still be back for Nagito. Nagito has always been a bit of a freak, but I’m sure he’d want you to get rest.”
Nothing she’s saying is actually wrong per se. It’s not like he ever got to know Nagito well in the real world, but he certainly got to know the one inside the program. Perhaps a little too well. If any of that boy survived Junko then there’s no doubting Akane’s words. He would rather stay rotting in that chamber forever than make them stay awake waiting for him. Should they really be listening to Nagito’s preferences though? It’s not like he’s ever been the most stable person in the world.
“If I go then who is going to keep an eye on this place?”
Subconsciously he feels his hands slowly knitting together. One by one his fingers start lacing themselves together as he begins pulling at each of his nails. Letting the dull pressure rumble through his body just like that.
“Me, duh! I’m not offerin’ without a plan.”
“You?” He cocks his eyebrow slightly, looking her once over.
That’s enough to harden her gaze into daggers. At once her legs slide off of the desk as she leans towards him in her chair, “You got a problem with that.”
So far she has been reliable and helpful - as helpful as she can be anyway. It’s not like he would be asking for her to perform heart surgery or anything. If he refused to give her this slightest bit of faith then what would he be telling her?
“Not really.”
She cracks a crooked and wiry smile, “Good, take your ass to bed then.”
Without any warning she jumps up from her chair and reaches towards him, grabbing his sleeve just like that. They have to fight against each other as she tries to yank him up. With her lost muscle mass and his groggy tiredness it must look the like most pathetic battle but that doesn’t stop him weakly batting her away.
“But -”
“No buts. I’ll come getcha in a few hours.” With her hands both knotted into the fabric of his shirt she just about manages to pull him out of his chair. It takes everything she has to shove him across the room towards the exit.
“Why don’t I just sleep here like I did before?”
He drags his feet across the ground, staring wistfully back at his chair. If he’s choosing to have faith in Akane’s ability to sit and watch a computer for a few hours then it shouldn’t really matter whether he sleeps in here or in his room. And yet his stomach churns painfully at the mere thought of leaving this place.
“I don’t wanna have to stare at you droolin’ as I sit here. Besides, you gotta keep your back healthy. Nekomaru would beatcha up if he knew you were sleepin’ on a chair.”
“I -”
“Do I have ta drag you to your room?” She holds her hands on her hips, her face stern and sharp. That sharpness is only accentuated by her thin cheeks and protruding bones.
Their little tussle earlier is proof enough she isn’t actually strong enough to drag him away any more and yet he sighs, folding in on himself. What is he doing? He’s acting like a complete child. She’s not wrong, he should sleep in an actual bed. Sleeping here isn’t going to be as effective and the only reason he’s sleeping at all is to make sure he’s working at his best. Why not just go to bed then? There’s no reason to be this stubborn about pointless things.
“Fine, fine. But wake me up an hour early just in case.” With every word his stomach twists but he holds firm. Blood thunders in his ears but he keeps his face still and collected.
“Sure, sure! You’re in good hands.”
He wishes he could convince his mind of that too but he just gives hear a steady nod. And then he returns to lay on his bed and waits for night to claim him once more.
Chapter 17: 11th of May
Summary:
The final chamber is ready to open
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
11/05 - 00:05
When he finally jumps awake he’s all alone in the darkness. Sweat clings to every inch of his skin again. At this point his bed is more sweat than fabric. The covers that had been draped over him when he fell asleep are now rumpled up in a pile on the floor but even those are soaked through. He never realised someones throat could feel this dry.
Rubbing his head he hunches over on the bed screwing his eyes closed. Maybe if he sits here long enough the pounding in his mind will fade away…
When will these nightmares ever end? He knows he had told Fuyuhiko there was no cure but there must be something out there that isn’t just carving away at what is left of his brain matter. Somehow its even worse when he doesn’t remember what the damn dream was about. All he’s left with is the dull emptiness without any way to soothe his mind.
What time is it even anyway? If Akane hasn’t woken him up then there must still be some time but without windows it’s impossible to tell just how much. As usual his first instinct is to flee the room and retreat back to the Neo World room to wait for the rest of the time to tick by, but he doesn’t dare move. He had promised he would try to get some rest and what is Akane going to say if she sees him like this. The last thing they need right now is to see him slowly breaking down. Nothing screams stability and safety like the crazy resident science experiment dripping down the hallways. No, if he wants to go outside in front of other people he should probably at least attempt to make himself presentable.
Breathing in a shaky breath he carries himself over to the shower. Crouching down and keeping his hair away from the water, he sits at the edge of the tub, letting the water crash against his back. For a few minutes he just sits there, the boiling water burning away all the traces of sweat from his pores. He has no idea how much body wash he uses as he completely lathers every exposed inch - the only exception being his hair.
The hot steam makes his head feel fuzzy and light but he doesn’t let that move him. If anything it’s almost calming. His body is so numb that for a while he can almost pretend he’s floating, his mind up in the clouds. Unfortunately it can never last though. As his hands get wrinklier and wrinklier he has to remind himself that there are things he actually has to do today.
Even as he gets out and starts getting ready, his head stays fuzzy. A layer of static is smothering his mind. With the quiet hallways and rooms he can almost pretend he’s still in a dream until he finally finds his way back to Akane in the other room.
~~~
11/05 - 00:27
“Hajime? You’re back already? I was gonna get ya soon y'know.” Akane yawns as he enters the room, stretching out like a cat.
“Yeah, I woke up a bit early and couldn’t get back to sleep.”
At once Akane nods somberly. Even Akane can read the situation then. It’s almost a relief though not having to say it out loud.
Once again Akane yawns as she leans back in the chair until only 2 legs are left on the ground, “It’s been pretty dead here since you left.”
“That’s to be expected, it’s late at night after all.” If people aren’t even getting out of their rooms during the day then they’re most certainly not doing it in the night.
“True.” Akane groans, her eyes fluttering closed for a moment.
“Maybe you should go to bed instead now. When did you last sleep?”
He had kind of assumed she had been sleeping after she had left with Nekomaru but looking at her now it’s hard to believe. It’s getting hard to tell what are new bags under her eyes and what are just her constant accessories now.
“Nah, you’re gonna need more than one person here for when Nagito wakes up.” Her words are considerably less convincing when she’s yawning though. It makes him wonder if this was how he looked a few hours ago.
“I can go and get Sonia, she asked to be brought in for the wake ups after all.”
For a moment he considers mentioning Kazuichi but who knows if he would even open the door at this point. If he hasn’t come out by now then the chances are he isn’t going to want to for Nagito of all people.
“Hmmm…”
He never gets Akane’s answer though. Before she can open her mouth to speak, something crashes in the next room over. Shattering glass echos down the hallway and the muffled groan of someone waiting just beyond. It takes a few seconds for his mind to even process this is real and not an illusion created from his own mind. Is there…someone over there. Both him and Akane wait in silence for a moment, as if hoping to hear someone speaking but there is nothing. Just the soft clattering of glass being carefully swept up.
“Who d’ya think that is?” Akane whispers, leaning into him. Suddenly the hints of sleep that had plagued her have vanished. She’s wide eyed and grinning mischievously as if they had walked in one something they shouldn’t have instead of hearing glass shattering.
“Go and check on them, we don’t want anyone getting hurt.” He can only imagine the panic that could spread if blood stains started appearing all over the place.
“Why me?” Akane wrinkles her nose and draws away uncomfortably.
“I have to stand guard just in case the machine starts up early. Besides, once you’ve finished checking on them you can sort them out and fetch Sonia for me so you can get to bed.”
Chances are everything will take the same time as before but he’s not going to take any risks, not when he’s so close to the end. He can practically taste the finish at this point.
Akane holds his gaze for a few seconds before rolling her eyes, “Ughhh fine. But you owe me big time Hajime!” He’s not sure he wants to know what owing Akane would be like but he just nods nonetheless. How bad could it be? It’s Akane.
“Whatever.”
As she stalks away she flips him the finger over her shoulder. He can practically see the smug look on her face as she does so but he just rolls his eyes and settles back down.
He tries to focus on the computer in front of him but given the short distance between the two rooms it’s hard not to try and listen in on the conversation a little bit. As if she’s just doing it to spite him her voice has taken on a lower tone than normal making it hard to pick up many words at all. He does manage to catch a single name though. Teruteru.
The boy had been so quiet and distant since he arrived that Hajime had almost forgotten about him entirely in the time it took to bring everyone else back. He supposes it’s good to hear he’s up at least, even if he’s popping out when there’s no one else around.
After a minute or two even the soft whispering of Akane and Teruteru has vanished too. All the voices have vanished leaving just Hajime behind.
He waits and waits and waits for Sonia - or even Akane - to reappear but the corridor remains completely still and quiet. Not a single person stirs. Bit by bit the time draws closer and then it passes and still no one is here. Did Akane simply forget to call for Sonia or was the situation with Teruteru worse than he had thought? Should he be checking up on them.
No. He clenches his jaw and his fist. He needs to stay on track. They have left him here to do his job. He has to bring everyone back. It’s the one thing he’s been able to do so far in this world that has had any meaning. Even if Sonia doesn’t come, it doesn’t matter. It wouldn’t be the first time he handled this alone. If Teruteru and Akane need help they have an entire corridor filled with people that can help out. There is only one person in here that can help Nagito and that’s him so he isn’t going to abandon his post.
His resolve only grows stronger and stronger as the time continues to tick. Minute pass but still nothing. No signal. No hints of one coming. It should have been here by now…right? As he double checks the clock he does his best to ignore the gnawing feeling in his chest. Standing in front of the chamber, he stares over at the twisted around computer facing him on the desk. Hand shaking as it hovers over the button.
His heart is beating in his hand as if it's trying to mess this up. Even when the signal finally shows and he slams his hand down, the relentless hammering doesn’t end. If anything it only gets stronger as he shifts his attention instead down to the still form of Nagito, waiting patiently.
Leaning forward he watches Nagito intently, waiting for him to move or breathe or anything. Nothing. Stillness. He just lays there. How long did the others take? He is certain none of them took this long to come back. No, it was almost instantaneous every time. So why is Nagito still like this? Shouldn’t he be up and the same as usual now? Did he fuck up? What if he’s ruined everything and Nagito never wakes up.
His breath catches in his throat as his breathing grows faster and faster. Short shallow breaths are all that manage to escape. Adrenaline is pumping around his body but there is nothing he can do. What use is adrenaline when you are utterly useless?
“Ughhh…” A short gruff groan suddenly steals his attention.
Nagito’s eyes are still closed but his arm is twitching slightly as movement stirs beneath the eyelids. Like a switch has suddenly been flicked he feels his limbs wobbling uncomfortably. He has to tighten his grip on the side of the machine just to keep him grounded to reality. This is real. He isn’t imagining the movement.
“Hey, can you hear me?” He calls out, praying to every god he knows that he opens his damn eyes. He’s never wanted to see Nagito’s wild eyes this much before in his life.
But sure enough, after a second or two his eyes flutter open to meet Hajime's. Something clicks behind Nagito’s eyes but he still smiles, his eyes dully illuminated by the green glow surrounding them.
“Do you still remember everything?” He probes tentatively.
None of the deaths any of them went through were pleasant - they never could be when Monokuma was present - however even now Nagito’s stood out beyond the others. Hell, it had even infiltrated his dream before he realised what the dream were. If anyone was going to react like Teruteru and Hiyoko it would be Nagito. And yet in the most Nagito way he just stares up at Hajime as if he wants to commit every line and detail into his memory forever.
“Izuru Kamukura…” He eyes narrow for a moment, as if only just noticing the difference in his hair style from the last time they saw each other in reality, “Wait no, you’re…uh…Hajime Hinata.”
Hearing the name again from Nagito’s mouth of all people sends a shiver down his spine. A tidal wave of everything from the Neo World Program crashes into him. All the things Nagito had done. All the times they had spent together. All the things he had said. Those last moments. Chiaki.
But then other memories come back too. Another meeting. Even back then she had been there at his side as they had stared each other down. He remembers the way the other boy had stood there, resolutely determined and holding strong even when stood against Izuru and Junko in their prime. Somehow he both looks exactly the same and like an entirely different person right now.
“They’re both me.” He clears his throat, trying to push down the memories to store them away with all the others.
Trying to distract himself he reaches down and takes Nagito’s hand. The long red nails brush against his palm but Hajime suppresses the shiver that wants to shake through his body at the contact. There is no mistaking that hand, no matter where it is located. Still the hand shouldn’t stop Nagito from getting the support everyone else got when they awoke. Someone needs to help Nagito and he's the only one around.
“I suppose I should thank you for waking me up.” Nagito frees his hand and rubs the back of his neck now he is sat upright.
“After everything that happened it was our duty as the survivors to bring you all back, no matter what it took.”
Nagito chuckles softly, “Duty, huh…? How are the others doing?”
He thinks back to everyone else and whatever was happening in the kitchen earlier. Somehow it suddenly isn't such an easy question to answer.
“You’re the last one out. They’re all awake and alive again now.” He artfully dodges the real question. Alive is all that matters. Now that they’re all conscious they can start considering how they are actually doing. Or maybe that will come once the future foundation has been dealt with.
“That’s good…”
“Come on, lets get you out of there.”
Still holding onto Nagito’s hand, he gently tugs the boy forwards until Nagito is gripping onto his arm. Leaning against each other they stumble out of the machine. He can feel Nagito trembling against him with every movement so he does his best to move as fast as possible, leading him over to the walker at the side of the room.
“Thank you.” There’s a slightly pink tint to his cheeks as his shaky hands grip onto the walker.
“It sucks that we’re so weak when we wake up but you should start feeling better in a few days.”
“That’s good. I don’t want to be even more useless than I normally am.” Nagito chuckles awkwardly, his head dipped low as he takes a tentative step forward.
Even with the walker to lean on his legs buckle. The only thing that stops him from falling directly on his face is the fact he falls on top of the walker, his entire weight pressing into the edge. It takes everything he has to stop himself from darting forward and grabbing the falling boy. He just has to stand there and watch as the boy struggles with his own body. But even now, when no one is touching him, he is still trembling like a leaf in the wind.
He clears his throat subtly, shuffling a little closer to Nagito, “Shall I show you around the place to help you get used to the walker?”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to do it. I have been stuck in this room for ages. Walking would do me some good too.”
He rubs at his own aching muscles. He really hasn’t done enough walking over the last few day. When they’re locked up in this place like this its hard to find reasons to move about.
“Well, if you’re sure.” Nagito gives a wobbly smile and carefully takes another step forward. This time he manages to stay on two feet as he does it and they slowly leave the room together.
“Don’t worry this place isn’t very big so you won’t need to walk around for long.” He tries to be encouraging but Nagito only winces.
As the stumble into the main communal area Nagito’s eyes blow wide. It's clear his mind is whirring at a million miles an hour as he tries to drink in all the new scenery. For a moment they both just stand there in the doorway, looking out at the empty room.
It’s not exactly a big room - especially not considering it was built to home all fifteen of them - but given the state of the world places like this are few and far between. Even just seeing books neatly sat on shelves and perfectly neat couches feels foreign. That’s not even considering the fact these thing were put there especially for them.
“Why don’t you take a seat on the couch for a second?” He gently taps Nagito’s shoulder and points him towards the couches.
Nagito’s eyes narrow as his head twitches from side to side. Never able to settle on whether he should be examining the room or Hajime.
“I thought you said I should be walking around?”
Hajime casually waves away the thought and leads the way towards the couch. His hand is held outstretched as if he’s trying to coax the boy the way you would with a feral cat. But no matter how much he tries Nagito stays stuck to his spot, his hands still gripping onto the walker for dear life.
“Thinking about it there will be lots of time to walk around later. For now we should probably both grab some food.” He nods over at the kitchen. Ibuki and Mahiru had both been happy to grab some food after waking up so it probably would do Nagito some good too.
It’s not like Nagito is like Akane or Teruteru - he does still have something other than skin on him after all - but he is far from healthy. Even in the program he was always more of a lanky guy but seeing him in real life in proper lighting for once feels different.
Dark scars still line his neck from servitude and they stand out more than ever with his light grey complexion. On the boat Nagito had mentioned the arm still hadn’t rotted but he’s starting to wonder if that’s really true. His entire body might as well be rotting. The look isn’t helped by his bushy and frayed white hair which has been steadily growing so it now swings past his shoulders.
“Hmm…” Nagito hums but he doesn’t make a move towards the couch.
Who knew making these people look after themselves would be the hardest thing he had to do? If he hadn’t been able to see the point of the Neo World Program before then he most certainly sees it now.
He clicks his fingers, suppressing some of the excitement in his voice, “I know. Why don’t you look around the bookshelves as I whip up some food for us both.”
He didn’t exactly go into Nagito’s room very often in the program - in fact he only went the one time. Even when they were on friendlier terms in that place they were certainly not friends. However when he did go there it was impossible to ignore the huge shelves of books that had been painstakingly set up inside the room. If anyone was going to be able to appreciate that part of this place then it would be Nagito.
“Okay.”
For a few seconds Nagito still doesn’t move. It’s like there is some lag between the world around them and Nagito’s mind. But bit by bit he begins moving forwards, drawn in by the books as if by magic.
Doing his best not to look Nagito’s way, he crosses the room and heads over to the kitchen area. But even with his back turned he can’t stop his ears from zoning in on Nagito’s movement. He can hear every page flick and every shallow breath. It feels oddly intrusive standing there, even as he prepares some sandwiches for them both.
When was the last time he was alone in a room with Nagito? It must have been the night before everything started going wrong. When Nagito came to his room before things started going crazy with the bombs. It feels like a lifetime ago now, and yet here is Nagito walking around the room completely calm and peaceful. Casually reading books. If only the versions of them from inside that place could see them now.
“Iz - Hajime, did…” Nagito coughs into his hand less than subtly, “Did you see what was happening in the program before I woke up?”
Hajime stops moving his hands and frowns at the wall in front of him, “What was happening? What do you mean?” He closes his eyes and tries to sort through his memories for what the man could be referring to. Did something happen? He would have thought Alter Ego would have tried to let him know if something was going on. And then it clicks at once, “Wait, do you mean when the AI was trying to stabilise you?”
“Ah, so you were aware.” He can hear Nagito chuckle awkwardly. Without even seeing Nagito’s face he knows exactly what the boy looks like right now.
He sets his knife down and spins around on the spot until he’s leaning against the counter top. Like a deer caught in the headlights Nagito just stares at him across the room, eyes wide and hands gripping onto the book in front of him for dear life.
“Not exactly. I built the AI and Alter Ego deployed it but we wanted to keep your privacy so I didn’t look at what was going on.” He forces Nagito to meet his eyes as he explains.
Of course part of him can’t ignore the curiosity that is flaring inside of him but he isn’t going to let that part of him win. Knowing what everyone was going through while they were ‘dead’ would be fascinating but he can’t ask people that share that with him. There is no way in hell he would want people peeking into his nightmares. After everything this is the bare minimum he can offer them.
“I see.” Nagito finally breaks eye contact and stares down at the book like it contains the secrets to the universe.
Narrowing his eyes he takes a slight step closer. His eyes are laser focused on Nagito like he’s going to be able to read the secrets off of him.
“Why? Did something happen?”
Nagito lifts his head, his eyes as sharp as ever, “No, nothing. It was just strange seeing you like that.”
“Like what?”
“Hmmm…like Izuru I guess. It’s easy to forget who you used to be unlike with the others.”
Like Izuru? He had almost forgotten the AI was designed after him. In a way he supposes it would make sense that the AI would end up appearing a little too much like him.
Cocking his head to one side he hums, “Oh yeah, who did I used to be?”
“The Ultimate Hope. It must be strange being like this now.” The words flow like its the most natural thing to say.
“I think I prefer it this way. Hope’s Peak kinda sucked.” He folds arms and waits cautiously for his response.
How would Nagito of all people feel about Hopes Peak? It makes sense the others would be less than positive but even after his interactions with Junko Nagito was still somehow obsessed with hope. For all he knows Nagito is still a wholehearted believer.
At first Nagito doesn’t reply. In fact he holds onto his book tighter as if he wants to crush it. When he finally does speak, all he says is, “I guess it did…”
Laughter crackles from his chest, its a strange sensation and yet it seems to somehow relieve a slither of the pressure that has been closing in around his head. Quietening the static he had forgotten was smothering him.
“Now that’s funny to hear coming from you.”
Much to his surprise, Nagito lets out a soft chuckle. For the first time in what feels like forever, Nagito smiles properly. His eyes crinkling and dimples appearing on his cheeks. Only now does he release the book from his clutches, gently sliding it back onto the shelf. Even though he’s still wobbling on the spot, his shoulders are looser now.
“Of course I still believe in Hope more than anything but after everything we’ve seen I think it’s hard to say Hope’s Peak could foster true hope.” He shrugs casually and pulls out the next book.
“You’re probably right. They thought I was hope after all.” As his laughter dies out he leans further against the counter top. Resting his weight on it as best he can.
Let’s be honest, Hopes Peak wouldn’t know hope if it hit them in the face.
“Who knows, maybe they weren’t exactly wrong with that.”
At once Hajime freezes over. Limbs locking tight as his lungs struggle to force in a breath. Did he hear Nagito correctly? It's not like Nagito was whispering, the words were clear enough, and yet his mind can't seem to take them in.
But all the while Nagito is just stood there fiddling with the books. His back turned to Hajime as he loses himself in his movements. Humming softly to himself.
“What do you -”
But before he can finish his thought a new voice cuts through the room.
“Ooooh, are you cooking Hajime? May I trouble you for some.” Sonia rushes in, eyes sparkling and focused solely on the two unfinished sandwiches behind his back.
She’s still in pajamas, her hair swept into a messy bun on top of her head. She hasn’t even clocked Nagito yet, instead she just circles Hajime, looking for food she can steal at a moments notice.
“Sure, that’s fine.”
With a soft smile, Nagito calls out across the room to Sonia. Trying to pathetically bow despite needing to keep a tight grip on the walker, “It’s good to see you again Sonia.”
“Huh?! Nagito!” Her head snaps between Nagito and Hajime incredulously. He is almost worried that she actually will snap her neck at this rate.
“Yeah, he just woke up so I’m fixing us some food.”
“Ha-ji-me!” She slaps his arm between each syllable, her face flushed red, “I thought you promised you would summon me for the remaining people!”
His hands fly up incredulously, “I sent Akane to fetch you.” It’s not like he can be blamed for Akane messing up. If she really wanted to be present then she could just have stuck around for a change. He doesn’t see how this is his fault all of a sudden. Of course he doesn’t say any of this to Sonia though.
“Well I never heard anything about this!” Sonia hits his arm one last time for good measure.
“It's okay Sonia. I was happy it was just Iz - Hajime there.” Nagito explains as he begins to shuffle over to them as fast as he can with his walker and weakened legs.
But even with Nagito’s assurance she folds her arms like a petulant child and lifts her head up high, “No, it is not okay. I wanted to be there for you too. Hajime should not have to do it alone.”
Sure, it’s the thought that counts but when they thought becomes slapping his arm he’s less inclined to agree. Besides, it honestly wasn’t as much to work to handle as she seems to think.
“I don’t mind.”
Holding a finger up to her lips she shuts him down at once, “Shhhh!”
“Thank you Sonia. You’re too kind.” Nagito is flushed as he hovers by Hajime's side, trying to hide his burning cheeks. It’s strange seeing Nagito so out of his element for once, who knew he was even able to blush. It seems Sonia can bring that side out of anyone.
He knows something is about to go wrong when Sonia claps her hands, her eyes sparkling. Any hunt for food had been instantly forgotten as she sparked to life. On a normal person the look would be cute and innocent but knowing Sonia he can’t trust it for a second. It is always either the best idea ever or absolute chaos.
“I know! I shall cook a meal for everyone to celebrate!”
His heart stops beating for a moment. Cooking?! Again? He thought he had gotten rid of this issue. Why would she suddenly want to do this of everything?!
“I thought H-Hajime was cooking?” Even Nagito stutters, looking around at Hajime desperately.
He’s starting to think this isn’t a new development for her. If she is so terrible though, how has she not improved over the years? How long have the others been suffering through this?! Sonia is many things but she most certainly isn’t the type to repeat the same mistake over and over. Maybe Novoselic’s food is just a whole different breed.
“Yes, well I have quite missed doing cooking since he started taking over.” She grins proudly, puffing up her chest. Is no one ever going to explain the situation to her or are they all just equally traumatised.
“No one else has.” He whispers under his breath to Nagito as Sonia spins on her heels to move down the hall.
She must hear him but that doesn’t stop her crusade, “I shall let them all know now.”
Neither him nor Nagito can stop her, instead Hajime just finishes up the sandwiches as fast as humanely possible while Nagito practically cradles his. Taking small bites as he continues examining the world around him. He's still nibbling on it as Hajime begins to lead him over to the couch to rest. Seemingly forgetting all about his previous objections as he focuses on slowly finishing up the food. Savouring every bite.
By the time she’s recovered as many people as possible they’ve both settled in, pressed against each other and as far from the kitchen as they can get. Surely she must notice but she just keeps pottering around the kitchen, grinning the entire time.
Unfortunately she had been more successful with her recruitment than he would have expected. Sure enough Byakuya is leading the charge with Ibuki right behind them, matching their msrching steps perfectly.
Mikan has stuck to Ibuki like a shadow. Trailing after her with big shimmering eyes as if she's seconds away from crying for some reason.
Following behind those two is Gundham, although he doubts the man had much of a say in any of this. Even he can’t resist Sonia when she puts her mind to it.
Finally behind Gundham is Akane and Nekomaru who are still leaning against each other, wide toothy grins still painted on both their faces. Part of him wants to ask what the looks are for but it's honestly safer not to.
Considering the circumstances it’s an impressive number of people. Sure a few people aren’t present but given how empty everything has been this might as well be an entire damn party. In a way he supposes it is. One by one they all filter around the couches, sinking into the soft fabrics in small groups. Akane and Nekomaru unsurprisingly hog an entire couch while Gundham makes a mad dash (or as mad a dash as you can make with a walker) for one of the arm chairs. Mikan, Ibuki and Byakuya all sit together, none of them noticing as Sonia disappears off to the kitchen. They barely even give him and Nagito a second look as the settle down excitedly.
“Who’s cooking?” Byakuya asks as they take their seat. Their eyes still sparkling with hopeful life, “Hajime?” They don't even think twice before turning on Hajime expectantly. He’s not going to be the one to break the news to these guys.
“I am. I have not cooked many dishes but I do believe a soup is well within my repertoire.” She fist pumps excitedly as she starts pulling on an apron.
In unison, everyone's faces immediately begin to fall as they start to eye up Nagito and Hajime's sandwiches. Could he make food for everyone? Yes. Will he though? No. Not right now anyway. For now they can survive a little home cooking.
“S-so if Nagito is here then does that mean everyone is awake again?” Mikan asks tentatively. Her hand is still gently gripping Ibuki’s arm as the other girl has practically collapsed into the fabric.
With those words everyone suddenly turns, locking onto Nagito as if only just clocking him. For his part he gives them a flimsy smile, his eyes closing softly. It's such a far cry from the smile that he had just seen a few minutes ago that he finds himself missing the sight. His memory dragging the image back into the forefront of his mind. Superimposing it over the scene before him.
“Yeah, everyone is safe again now.” Hajime clears his throat. Tearing his gaze away from Nagito at once to stare at the room full of faces.
“We need to have a toast to Hajime!” Nekomaru barks, raising an imaginary glass. He can feel his cheeks instantly warming.
“That really isn’t necessary.” He tries to wave them all away but apparently in their time apart he had forgotten just how stubborn they can all be. At this point he might as well not be speaking at all for all the good it does.
“Boo! You saved eeeeeeeveryone! That deserves a special Ibuki toast!”
“She’s right y’know.” Even Akane betrays him. He should have seen that one coming…
As he looks around the room for an ally he only finds a sea of expectant faces. They do realise he was the one that uploaded Junko right? Did no one mention how much Kazuichi did to help the process? God, he’s never wanted Kazuichi here so much. Why did he have to choose this moment now to disappear for days?!
“Only the greatest requiem will do.” Gundham cackles - not helping the situation at all. Even Sonia is happily humming away in the kitchen, not making any moves to divert attention away from him.
Clearing his throat he stares at each one of them in turn, “Instead of a toast maybe we should be discussing what we’re going to do now. We need some plans moving forward.”
A million things are still running around in his head. Even if they have woken everyone and begun the journey towards leaving this place, it still is just the beginning. There is so much to sort out and they’re here celebrating.
“Party pooper!” Ibuki makes a fart noise with her mouth as she gives him two big thumbs down. She only barely avoids punching Mikan in the face as the nurse desperately ducks out of the way of her rogue arms.
“You need to learn to relax a little Hajime.” Nekomaru’s voice is booming even though he’s the opposite side of the room from Nagito and Hajime.
Pleadingly, he turns to Nagito whispering with desperate frantic eyes. “Nagito.”
Ever the traitor he only gets a casual shrug back as Nagito tucks into his sandwich. Remind him not to make food for Nagito in the future. He doesn’t deserve Hajime's generosity.
“I do believe you’ve earned an evenings rest if nothing else.”
“See, even Nagito agrees!” Ibuki jumps up without warning as if she’s going to come over and shake them both but thankfully she’s still too wobbly to cross the space between them.
“I guess one night is fine.” He rolls his eyes and leans back into the couch. Submitting to the fate before him.
Thankfully it isn’t too long until Sonia has pieced together her monstrosity into a selection of small bowls. As soon as food is sitting in front of each of them, there are no more thoughts about Hajime or the Neo World Program. Instead they’re all united behind a single enemy.
“Ummmm, th-thank you S-Sonia.” Mikan’s smile wobbles and fades instantly but he can’t tell if that’s just Mikan being Mikan or if it’s because of the food now wafting under her nose.
“This is….magnificent demon food.” Gundham chokes out a few words but apparently its enough for Sonia as she break out in a bright blush as she takes the arm chair beside Gundham’s.
For a change Nagito and Hajime get to watch with grins as everyone does their best to choke down what food they can. It might be the best entertainment he’s had since they first arrived in this place. If he had known it was this easy to be entertained he would have set Sonia up as the chef a long time ago. He can only imagine what Teruteru would be saying if he could see this scene right now.
As he leans back in the couch he can just about notice Nagito yawning beside him. He’s doing his best to sit upright, practically prying his eyes open, but there’s only so much that can be done. Although he’s managing to be a little more stable than he had been earlier, he’s still swaying even as they’re sat down.
Clapping his hands together he pulls himself up to his feet, addressing everyone around the room, “Well as lovely as this has been, I should probably finish showing Nagito around this place. We didn’t get very far.”
Technically they didn’t even actually start but he supposes they did see this room - even if he wasn't doing a good job of helping Nagito look around. He’s already had the uses of this place more than thoroughly demonstrated to him which is enough for now, right?
“Are you sure? You did not even get food.” Sonia looks wistfully over to the pot that’s still on the stove but he just grabs Nagito’s wrist desperately. Making sure to grab the correct arm as a shiver runs up his spine.
“I’m sure. We don’t want to push Nagito when he’s only just woken up.” Nagito flashes him a grateful look which he just returns with a soft smile.
“You have a point.”
“I-I s-should probably leave t-too.” Mikan stutters, jumping up in one fluid motion.
As she jumps up her leg smacks into Ibuki’s bowl, almost sending it flying. It is only just saved by a hissing Ibuki as she holds the bowl up high, trying to stabilise the mixture. If you ask him they might as well knock it over now - it would probably save Ibuki a whole load of pain - but who is he to interfere. She’s made her bed so she can lie in it.
“You’re going too Mikan?” Byakuya frowns, taking another sip of their soup.
“Y-Yes. I am still quite tired so I think I would like to rest…only if that’s okay though…I d-don’t want to be rude.” Rubbing her eyes she stutters through her announcement.
Before even Mikan can start overthinking Nekomaru calls out, “No, it’s not rude at all. You need to look after yourself Mikan.”
“Yeah! Rest if ya need to. We’ll still be here in the mornin’ wont we.” Even Akane chimes in with an easy wave.
“Th-thank you.” Mikan rings her hands and creeps over towards them as Hajime pulls Nagito to his feet, “I can show you which room will be Nagito’s. Ibuki showed me everyone’s rooms earlier.”
“Thanks Mikan.”
As everyone waves goodbye to them he guides Nagito over to his walker and they head down the corridor with Mikan leading the way. None of them say a word as they walk but he can hear Nagito tapping on his walker as the others resume their chatter behind them.
“Th-This should be Nagito’s room.” Mikan’s finger shakes as she points to the last room down left corridor. Her hand shaking the entire time.
“Thanks, I’ll get him settled.”
“I-I’ll see you tomorrow then.” As she heads off to her own room on the complete other side of the hall, she doesn’t turn her back on them until the very last second. The entire time she’s trying to force herself to smile but it looks more like a grimace.
Once her door is closed they stand there for a few moments, closer than normal in the tight passageway but still just far enough apart to not quite touch. Hovering in one another's space.
“Is she okay?” Nagito whispers quietly enough that the others in the communal area can’t quite hear him.
“None of us are. But she could be worse.” He mumbles, the images of Hiyoko crying and throwing up still fresh in his mind.
It makes sense that he still hasn’t seen her still but at the same time it makes his stomach churn. Mahiru is surely taking good care of her but it doesn’t help that they haven’t seen or heard of anything from her.
“That’s true I suppose…”
“Come on then, lets get you sorted in your room.” He clears his throat and carefully opens the door. It’s better to focus on what’s ahead than on things they can’t control.
But instead of following Hajime forwards, Nagito is looking back down the corridor longingly, “Which one is your room?”
“My room?” He frowns, trying to get a read on Nagito, “We took rooms one at a time starting from the beginning so my room was one right at the front.” From over here they can't see his room anymore but he still points to it as if they can.
Its funny that despite everything, he doesn’t actually know which rooms are everyone’s now. Of course he remembers the rooms of the five of them that had survived as well as Mahiru's (and Byakuya’s wasn’t hard to figure out) but most of the other ones are unknowns. He could guess a general area for each one but when it comes down to the specifics he has no idea. Maybe they should get name plates again just like back then…
“Come on, the rooms are pretty fine all things considered.” He coaxes Nagito forward and slips into the room, holding the door open as Nagito follows him.
There really isn’t much to show when it comes to the room. Clothes are still neatly folded in the draws but other than that, it’s mostly empty. Nevertheless Nagito follows him about the room as Hajime points out each and everything he can.
“It’s pretty empty but the beds are okay.”
He’s not too sure what kinds of beds Nagito has had in the past - he was rich once upon a time if the files in the library are to be believed - but even so after months of living with the warriors of hope this must be a luxury. The entire time Nagito is smiling, examining each and every thing they pass. As they move past the bed he runs a hand against the fabric absentmindedly.
“And they have given us all private en-suites in the room so you don’t need to go far for a shower.” He clears his throat and gestures into the small bathroom.
But instead of heading in to explore Nagito collapses onto the bed, laying back and letting himself get enveloped in the fabric. He sighs warmly staring up at the ceiling.
“Shall I leave you alone?” Hajime asks tentatively, moving towards the door, “I know you are probably in need of a good rest.”
“Actually…” Nagito sits up for a moment, his hand reaching out towards Hajime, “Never mind.” He shakes his head, his eyes flickering with something dark writhing underneath.
“What is it? Do you want me to get you something?”
“No, it’s nothing. I was just wondering if you could turn the light off before you leave.” It’s obvious that he was lying but Hajime simply nods along anyway. There’s no point in bringing it up now. If he wants to say something then he needs to choose to say it himself.
“Sure. Anything else?” He asks tentatively as he clicks off the light but Nagito just gives him that sickly sweet smile again.
“No that’s all fine.” He can hear Nagito’s voice hitching as he answers but still he refuses to elaborate.
For a moment he almost considers turning the might back on and sitting himself right at Nagito’s side until he decides to finally talk but he stops himself. The last thing he needs to do if Nagito is getting overwhelmed is force himself on the boy. He just has to trust that he will come to Hajime when he needs to - not that people have been very good at doing that so far.
“Okay. I’ll come and check in with you in the morning.”
He offers meagerly before sliding out of the room and pulling the door closed until it clicks. He’s not sure how long he stands out there listening, trying to see if he can hear anything from the white haired boy but there’s nothing. Not even the sounds of breathing are audible. No matter how long he stands there nothing is going to change so he turns around and heads back into the common room to check on the others.
As he travels down the corridor he starts to pick up a few voices talking. Not that it’s hard. Clearly no one ever taught Ibuki or Nekomaru the concept of indoor voices.
“We need lotsssss of food. Maybe Teruteru will finally come out!” Ibuki shoots out the words rapid fire. He could swear he can hear her excitedly clapping like a hyper toddler.
“Yes, that would be ideal. We cannot keep relying of Hajime for everything.” When placed next to Ibuki’s excitable chatter, Sonia sounds positively somber.
As he enters the room he wracks his brain trying to decipher what they could possibly be talking about. Knowing Ibuki it probably isn’t too surprising that she would have such a different reaction to Sonia but that doesn’t dissuade his curiosity at all.
“I saw Teruteru earlier today and I don’t think ya wanna get your hopes up.” Akane sighs, leaning closer to the others as they’re all huddled up over the coffee table.
“What are you guys talking about?” He frowns and creeps slightly closer, getting a good look at the group now gathered in the common room.
All their bowls have long since been abandoned as they all lean over the coffee table. They might as well all be rubbing their hands together given the vibes they’re giving off. He’s never seen a group look more like they’re plotting and he knew these people as ultimate despair. He can only hope its a more…positive kind of plotting this time.
Thankfully Byakuya is still reliable as they lean back from the huddle and begin to explain, “It's Mikan’s birthday tomorrow -”
“So we wanted to make a bombtastic party that will blow her socks off!” Ibuki screeches, throwing her hands up in the air. Byakuya has to slap a hand over her mouth to try and smother some of the words before everyone in the building catches wind of the plan.
“We thought perhaps it can also be a chance for everyone to get together again.” Sonia hisses under her breath. As she does so her eyes dart around the room anxiously as if Mikan is going to suddenly round the corner.
“A party?”
“A party? Yes foolish mortal, have you never been cursed to hear such declarations before? Or do you need us to eviscerate the plague that fills your ears? If you hold still I will do so for you!” Gundham cackles almost as loudly as Ibuki. As he does so Sonia winces next to him, torn between giving Gundham space and trying to shut him up just like Ibuki.
“Hmmmm! Hm hm hm.” Ibuki tries to speak but her words are too muffled and smothered to even be legible at this point. He’s not even sure why she’s attempting but questioning anything Ibuki does is an exercise in futility.
He looks around at the room slowly, drinking in the sight of the people all around. As nice as a party sounds they might be getting a little ahead of themselves. It’s not like he wants to skip over Mikan’s birthday - hell they could do with something light-hearted - but it will be even more depressing if people refuse to show up. How can they ask people like Hiyoko to come out and celebrate after everything?
Doing his best to keep his voice even he asks, “Are people going to want to attend a party though?”
However, judging by the casual shrugs moving around the room, he isn’t the only one who had this thought, “We will only know if we try.” Byakuya sighs as they finally release their hold on Ibuki’s mouth.
Akane leans back in her chair, folding her arms behind her head, “If we have a party then they others might come out.”
The last thing he needs is to be a complete buzz kill. What harm could it do after all? “It could be worth trying.” He shrugs and slips back onto the couch he had been on earlier, “What are you going to do for the party?”
Even though he had only been gone for a few minutes with Nagito they have a surprisingly detailed plan already set out. Everything from food to music to decorations is already covered. It’s honestly impressive all things considered.
There’s still a pit in his stomach thinking about everything that could go wrong but he resolves to ignore it. Even if it all goes terribly, at least they tried. Imagine if he had never tried to heal the others. They’ve earned a little party, no matter how he feels about it.
For the entire evening of party he keeps up his smile and does his best to offer solutions to all their plans. It’s only when he finally flees into the quiet of his own room that he lets his smile drop as he buries himself in his covers and bunks down for the night.
Notes:
This was one of the times where I did change the scene ever so slightly from the anime version. However it's only a small change so it's not like it makes a difference (most people probably wouldn't notice).
Also, yay me for finally figuring out how to upload picturessss! This map was supposed to be uploaded ages ago when they first started exploring but I was too baffled by the picture uploading process, now seems like as good a time as any though. It's a little small but hopefully names and stuff can all be read!
Chapter 18: 12th of May
Summary:
Time for Mikan's birthday...what could possibly go wrong?
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
12/05 - 08:23
“This is a terrible idea.” He hisses to Fuyuhiko in the chair next to him. Gritting his teeth the whole time.
“You’re probably right.”
Him, Nagito and Fuyuhiko are all gathered at the head of the table, watching everyone else potter about to put the finishing touches on everything. Not one of them dare speak in more than a whisper, just in case they attract unwanted attention. Although their voices might not be loud, he can't say the same about the rest of their activities. The sheer amount of sound coming from all the setting up and clattering must have been noticed by Mikan by now. And yet she still hasn’t made any moves so far.
No matter how much they knocked, Teruteru never did come out of his room (he probably would have been more surprised if he did come out at this point). They even sent Akane in to talk with him but nothing. She wouldn’t even tell them what they talked about or what was going on when she saw him yesterday - not that he wants to be the one asking about it.
With him refusing to show up, Hajime had been stuck on food duty once more. Thankfully Fuyuhiko and Nagito had offered to help him as they slowly pieced together a few small finger foods to litter about the table - although he's not sure why Nagito offered considering how little he can do at this point. Even though they’d finished a good ten minutes ago, everyone else hadn’t even looked in their direction, still busying themselves as much as possible.
Peko had accompanied Fuyuhiko out of the room and is now helping Nekomaru and Akane string decorations up on the ceiling of the room. Her eyes constantly flicking back to Fuyuhiko every other second. The decorations are nothing fancy of course but Ibuki and Sonia had stayed up all night last night making them. Countless small paper butterflies and presents in purple and white all made with tender care. They’re a bit lopsided and you can clearly tell Ibuki’s from Sonia’s but he would be lying if he said they weren’t some of the sweetest things he’s seen despite everything.
Byakuya and Kazuichi weren’t able to avoid her gaze either. As soon as they stepped into the room she had roped them into dealing with the lights before Hajime has had a chance to even think about trying to check up on Kazuichi. They’re both forced to fight Akane, Nekomaru, and Peko for space on the ceiling and walls as they string lights up all over the place. While it certainly does look magical with sparkling light everywhere, when put alongside everything else it’s a little…busy. Not that he’s going to tell Sonia that.
With everyone else busy, Sonia and Gundham had sat down to start making party hats and origami swans. It’s no surprise that Sonia folds the paper with elegant ease, however beside her Gundham is still fumbling with the paper. Without his usual bandages to protect his hands he has been destroyed with paper cuts. Doing her best to help him, she leans over trying to show him all the folds but it does very little to make an actual difference. It does manage to save his fingers a little though so he supposes that's good at least.
“Everyone is working well together though.” Nagito smiles but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Something else brewing beneath the surface.
“For how long?” Fuyuhiko sighs, leaning back in his chair until he’s practically tipping back in the chair.
“I guess we’ll wait and see.” Hajime sighs and reaches to grab a few small grapes from the bowl in front of them.
Apparently he wasn’t as slick as he thought he was though, “Hey! We cannot eat the food until the birthday girl is here!” Sonia yells across the room making him flinch. Good, because that’s totally not going to give anything away to Mikan.
“Fine fine!” He hisses under his breath, “When are we bringing Mikan in?”
“Ibuki will bring Mikan in as soon as we give her the signal.” Byakuya repeats the instructions as if he hadn’t been right here when they were going through the plan.
“Yeah, but when are we ready? The food has been sat here for a while now and we have plenty of decorations up and about. I think Mikan would prefer just spending time with us for her birthday.” He scans the room, looking for anyone to back him up. They must know he’s right.
Thankfully he always has Fuyuhiko right there ready to support him, “He has a point.” He’s never been more glad to have the smaller man around.
“Hmmmm, how about we put the finishing touches on everything and then we call it a day.”
A sigh of relief ripples through the room. It takes everything he has to stop himself from grinning smugly.
Thankfully, when she meant the finishing touches she really meant it. Kazuichi and Byakuya work at lightening pace to throw up the last lights, all of their neat placement suddenly gone out the window. Even Gundham is moving faster although it doesn’t make him any more efficient. By the time they all step back from their work the room is looking suitably festive. It’s like a fairy had thrown up on the walls and ceilings given the sheer number of glittering lights and butterflies scattered about but regardless of how it looks he’s sure Mikan would love it. It’s impossible for her not to.
“This is going to be the best birthday party ever!” Sonia claps her hands excitedly as she examines the room. He bites his tongue and turns away from Sonia as casually as he can. He just can’t bare standing there watching everyone get so excited when the knot is quickly tightening within him.
“Hopefully Mikan enjoys it.” Peko mumbles as she slinks back to Fuyuhiko’s side. Her footsteps almost completely silent.
Without her sword slung over her back she practically looks naked. While the loose casual clothes looks less than impressive on everyone, it looks even stranger on her. Her usually neatly braided hair loose and hanging freely around her in waves. She almost looks like a normal person. The only thing breaking the illusion is the stiff way she stands behind Fuyuhiko, never quite letting down her guard.
“Of course she will.” Nekomaru chuffs, folding his arms proudly.
“Okay, I will go and give Ibuki the signal then!” Sonia practically starts skipping on the spot. Her excitement leaking out of every pore, “Everyone get in position!” She hisses quietly as she turns around to start skipping down the hallway to Mikan’s room.
They had decided against a proper surprise party - jumping out and scaring the poor woman didn’t feel appropriate for the situation - but that didn’t mean they were fully abandoning the idea. All of them form a herd in the center of the room, making sure they’re in full view of the entrance. With all the walkers in the room the space which had once seemed relatively large now feels surprisingly cramped. While Byakuya and Peko are pretty stable on their own now, Gundham, Nekomaru and Nagito need all the help they can get. He can only imagine how much more cramped it will feel when Ibuki and Mikan are here too. Nevertheless they all get as close to each other as they possibly can, readying themselves for the moment Mikan reappears.
Each and every one of them are holding their breaths as they slowly hear Mikan draw closer and closer. Footsteps dragging on the ground. From here they can hear every single creak and step. Every breath that comes from all three women, not to mention all of Ibuki’s mindless chatter.
Mikan must have been given some warning before heading over here but you'd never be able to tell from just looking at her as she rounds the corner into the room. Even as they all throw their arms up excitedly, they get to watch her face light up until it outshines all the lights around them.
“Happy birthday Mikan!!!”
It sounds more like a zoo enclosure than anything else. He knows what they’re saying but even he can barely understand them. And yet that still doesn’t stop Mikan grinning from ear to ear. He’s never seen someone look so red before in their life, small tears bead at the corner of her eyes.
Before she can even say anything, Ibuki throws herself onto Mikan’s back. Whispering something in her ear which only makes Mikan cry even harder.
“Do not -” Sonia steps forward to talk but stops herself as soon as she catches sight of Byakuya and Nekomaru shaking their heads.
“Look! Baby gangsta and the other dudes made a ton of snacks!” Akane makes her way over to the main table, seemingly unaware of the sharp gaze Fuyuhiko throws her way. Grabbing an apple from the pile of fruit and throwing it towards Mikan without so much as a hint of a warning
As such Mikan just ducks out of the way of it with a screech. Hands flying up to protect her head, not even considering trying to catch it. If it wasn't for Sonia standing behind her, catching it without so much as a second look, it would have smashed into the wall.
Still that doesn't bother Ibuki in the slightest, even as Mikan whimpers meekly, “C’mon let’s sit down and eat.”
At once everyone kicks into action. Chatter disperses around the room as they all find their way into chairs around the table. Hajime is one of the first to take a seat at the table near the door, Nagito and Kazuichi taking seats either side of him once again.
Across from them are Akane, Nekomaru, and Byakuya who are already locked into a conversation about the food in front of them. Meanwhile at the opposite end of the table Sonia and Gundham take their seats across from Ibuki and Mikan - although he gets the distinct impression Gundham was dragged over.
Finally Fuyuhiko and Peko slink into chairs that are slightly separated from everyone else. Always maintaining a few empty chairs between them and everyone else.
Sitting here everything seems so easy and normal. Sure there are still a few empty chairs but he imagines this was how everyone used to eat together when they were still at Hope’s Peak academy. Did everyone sit with each other in the canteen or did they split up into smaller groups? Right now it’s hard to imagine they were ever separate.
“What are you eating Izu - Hajime?” Kazuichi whispers, leaning in close to him to make sure he can be heard over all the chatter around the table.
“Hmmm…just give me whatever you're having.” He hands Kazuichi his plate gently. With his head resting on his hands he watches Kazuichi get stuck into the food, piling it high on both of their plates.
Its not just Kazuichi, everyone is filling up the food on their plates. They move like a well oiled machine, reaching for plates and passing things across the table until everyone has a large selection in front of them. Even Akane has a decent plateful of food in front of her as she turns to laugh at Nekomaru beside her.
“Sooooo, how does the birthday girl want to spend her birthday?” Ibuki hums as she leans towards
“U-Ummm, w-w-well y-you’ve all al-already d-d-done enough.”
“Nonsense!” Sonia shakes her head violently, sitting up a little taller, “it is a birthday so we must celebrate to our hearts content!”
But of course all that does is make Mikan cry more. Her sobs filling the room until he can hear nothing else. Normally that would probably be a point of concern and yet instead he can see people around the room smiling ever so slightly as they look over at her. Drinking in the sight as if they have found water in the desert.
“Ibuki wanted to plan the grandest birthday party ever but this place is boring.”
“We have cards and alcohol. They might even have Monopoly hidden away here somewhere.” Hajime sighs, but even as he says it he’s not sure if he’s joking or not. Maybe this is really what they’ve sunk to. Is every celebration just going to be them getting completely wasted? That is assuming they didn't just drink all the alcohol the other night...
“Truly a grand birthday!” Although Nekomaru smiles and laughs, even he can’t hide the emotions bubbling just beneath the surface.
“We shall find something fun to do.”
“As we were setting up we did talk about getting you a present but -”
It’s as Kazuichi says that that Mikan looks up. Her head snapping to meet Kazuichi’s gaze as she waves her arms frantically. Shaking her head so much that he’d be shocked if she could see anything.
“I-It’s fine! J-Just being here i-is the b-best present I c-c-could have!” She frantically wipes at her eyes with the heels of her hands. Digging them in so hard that her eyes must be burning but she doesn’t react more than letting out a muffled sniffle.
“Do you remember the time when we snuck out of school for your birthday to have a picnic in the park!” Ibuki rubs her hands together, a mischievous grin playing over her lips as she does so.
“The forests shall remember those tales we spun until the universe itself comes to it’s withering end.”
“Oh, what about the time when -”
Hajime listens quietly from the sidelines as people begin recounting tales of birthday’s long past. Each story sounding like some kind of mystical fairy tale that he will never be able to comprehend. Although Peko, Fuyuhiko, and Nagito remain silent throughout, his worries about this whole thing gradually seem to leave his mind. Fluttering up as the atmosphere grows lighter and lighter.
Of course it’s not like they can actually forget about everything but it’s about as close as they’re going to get. If he strains himself hard enough he can almost pretend they’re just a group of friends celebrating together and nothing more.
However that was never going to last. As if the universe is specifically trying to prove him wrong, it’s at that moment another familiar voice begins to fill the room. Popping the bubble that had begun to descend over them.
He should have known better than to jinx this whole thing…
“Why are they here?!” Hiyoko shouts from the doorway with an accusatory finger aimed at Fuyuhiko and Peko. Her finger shakes - no, not just her finger, her entire body is trembling. If he didn’t know they were indoors right now he would assume she was caught up in a strong wind.
Of all the people he was expecting to show up, Hiyoko certainly wasn't one of them. Honestly, he didn't even realise they had been invited. The idea in itself is preposterous and yet there is no way he's hallucinating the sight in front of him right now.
“Hiyoko…” Mahiru tries to reach for Hiyoko's arm she snaps it away before she can grab a hold.
Taking charge Ibuki jumps up from her chair and runs over to greet the two newcomers. As she does so she picks them up two plates, grinning the entire time.
“Hiyoko and Mahiru! You came!” She presses the plates into each of their hands enthusiastically, “Here come and grab some food!”
That does nothing to wipe the disgusted look off of Hiyoko's face though. She doesn’t lower her finger but she does look at each of them in turn, giving each of them a scathing glare.
“You heard what I said, why are they here?!” She spits the words out with an unprecedented hostility. Friendly isn't usually the word he would use to describe her but still…
Everyone around the table stiffens. No one dares say a word but they can all hear the sharp clattering of cutlery as people suddenly drop everything they were holding back onto their plates. You could hear a pin drop.
In the end Gundham is the one to step up and break the silence, “Hiyoko cease your heckling. Sonia has dared to host a banquet and we do not wish to cast you aside.”
“What the fuck does that mean?!” Hiyoko sneers, wrinkling up her nose as she glares as Gundham. Flames and fury washing over her in waves.
Fuyuhiko looks down the entire time. Shrinking away from her gaze. His chest rises and falls rapidly, absorbing each and every word. When he finally does raise his head he’s met with Hiyoko’s burning eyes.
“I…we…” He does his best to hold Hiyoko's gaze. But even then he bites down on his lower lip, trying to squeeze out any words at all.
Luckily Nekomaru is there to save the day. Holding an arm out as if gesturing to the entire table before him, “Peko and Fuyuhiko are our friends too, just like Mikan.”
At the mention of Mikan, Hiyoko’s entire body stutters, her shoulders rippling like a wire that has been pulled taut. For the first time since entering she lets her eyes fall onto Mikan's still sobbing form.
At once the other woman shrinks down in her chair, trying to hide away but without Ibuki to act as a barrier she’s fully exposed. For once her tears are completely silent other than the sound of the droplets splattering on the table beneath her. The sounds gradually getting closer and closer together.
As if trying to match the pace, Hiyoko's chest rises and falls faster and faster and faster and faster with each droplet. Pupils widening. The more she stares, the more her eyes begin to glisten.
It’s at that moment that Mahiru reaches forward, interlocking her fingers with Hiyoko firmly, “We came here to pay our respects, Hiyoko.”
Her fingers tug at Hiyoko softly. Soothingly. Every motion carefully calculated. Bit by bit Hiyoko breathes slower and slower until she finally tears her eyes from Mahiru. As she does so she finally blinks, fat tears trickling down her face.
Clenching her jaw she brings her attention back to Fuyuhiko and Peko again, “That was before I knew those guys were here too. At least Teruteru was smart enough not to show his face around here.” Her hand swings back to point at Teruteru's door behind her, “What do you have to say for yourselves?!” With every word more tears begin trickling down her face.
“Hiyoko you were able to sorta handle it in the program. Why d’ya have such a problem now?” Akane sighs, rolling her eyes. He doesn’t even bother hiding his wince as he tries to shift as far back as he can with the chair keeping him pinned in place.
It’s not like she’s completely wrong, those of them that were there aren't going to forget the events of Fuyuhiko’s recovery party. Yet even then, her showing up to that in the first place was a miracle. It would be unfair to hold her to her choices back then for the rest of time. Conditions have changed since then.
However, once more she’s adamantly avoiding even catching a slight glance of Mikan in her peripheral vision. It doesn’t take a genius to start piecing things together. It wasn’t Fuyuhiko and Peko that had her vomiting on the floor. It wasn’t them that caught her breath in her lungs.
“Have you forgotten what he did to m - to Mahiru?!” Veins are slowly starting to pop on her forehead as she screams at Akane. And then her neck snaps to address Mahiru, “To Sato!”
At that Mahiru flinches back. Her fingers pull at her nails desperately, as if trying to peel them off. Unlike Hiyoko she’s not hyperventilating but she looks like she’s swallowed a rock, nursing a huge lump in her throat.
Fuyuhiko’s head falls down until he’s staring into his food. His chin is practically pressed against his chest but it does nothing to hide the ragged stuttering of his rib cage. His exposed eye instantly screws shut as if that’s somehow going to hide him from the world around him.
However, Peko isn’t quite as closed up. In fact quite the opposite. Her palm slams down on the table, the force making everyone’s plates jump up for a moment. At the same time she shoots to her feet, sending her chair scattering out beside her. Without her sword to cling onto, she grips the fork in front of her, bending the metal with her grip alone.
“Have you forgotten what was done to Natsumi?” She hisses through clenched teeth.
“Don’t you dare say a word you foul faced bitch!”
They all freeze at once. Maybe if they just stay still enough this will go away. He isn't going to pretend he truly knows Peko but her words catch him completely off guard. The person he'd known in the program had been quiet, calm, measured. Even as a despair she was never the type to yell like that. No matter how much his mind struggles to piece together the images of her in his mind and this current person, he is unsuccessful.
When he said he had a bad feeling about this party this wasn’t quite what he meant. It's clear that this is something they have to figure out between the four of them and yet everyone else is also trapped here watching. Unable to escape. Anything they say is going to go over poorly at this point.
Peko and Hiyoko both raise their hackles, their hair practically standing on end. Neither of them is making a sound but just watching them staring at each other is like a siren blaring in the room. They might as well be on their hind legs hissing at one another. It doesn't matter how much Fuyuhiko and Mahiru are tugging on their arms, trying to drag them apart, it seems like they don't want to be the first one to look away.
“Hiyoko.” Mahiru hisses, tilting her head so she doesn’t need to look at Peko or Fuyuhiko and she can fully focus on Hiyoko, “Look, we just came to not be rude.”
Kazuichi subtly turns to him, “It seems to be going well...” He mutters in the quietest whisper possible so only Hajime can pick it up and yet the tone does nothing to alleviate the pressure building in his chest.
Honestly, at this point he’s not even sure why they came. Sure they might be fighting with Fuyuhiko and Peko but they can’t pretend that is the real issue here. This entire party was a losing game from the start when it comes to Hiyoko. If they already knew that then why bother in the first place? Mahiru never seemed that short-sighted before.
Ibuki tentatively begins creeping forwards. She holds her hand out towards Hiyoko as if she was approaching a wild animal, “C'mon. Why don’t you just take a seat and we'll give you some yummy food. You can’t stay sad when you’re full of yumminess!” Her voice is softer than normal. It lacks her usual flair and personality. He had no idea she could ever be subdued but there is no other word to describe her right now.
She slowly walks closer and closer until she’s fully blocking Hiyoko’s view of table. Not just covering Peko and Fuyuhiko but also blocking her view of Mikan.
“Come on Hiyoko.” Mahiru is still turned towards Hiyoko, leaning close to her ear. With Ibuki in the way he can’t fully see Hiyoko to analyse her body language but he can here the ragged way she sighs before she finally replies.
“Fine. But I’m not sitting anywhere near them.”
They don’t need any more of a signal than that. At once they all shoot up from their chairs, grabbing their plates. Silently communicating they all shift about the table until Fuyuhiko and Peko have shuffled all the way down to the opposite side of the table, leaving a few chairs free next to Ibuki.
Silence sits heavy between them as they wait cautiously behind their chairs for Hiyoko and Mahiru to make the first move. It’s only when they finally pull out their chairs and sit down with their plates that anyone else dares to take a seat. Of course the first person to take jump is Ibuki as she slides into the seat beside Mahiru, helping the other woman fill up her plate with food.
“Hajime did a great job with all the food so you’ll love it!” She somehow manages to smile as she carefully explains each of the dishes on the table.
One by one they all retake their seats, quietly taking a few bites of their food. With no one else speaking there is nothing they can do except listen in as Ibuki chatters away at Hiyoko and Mahiru who might be the only people in the room not listening.
As everyone else slowly relaxes, Fuyuhiko and Peko shuffle their chairs closer together so they can whisper to one another. No matter how much he strains his ears he can’t for the life of him pick up on anything they’re saying but at least now they’re entirely hidden from Mahiru and Hiyoko’s line of sight. Hopefully that will be enough for now at least.
Sonia is the one who finally breaks the ice, elegantly clearing her throat before she sits up as straight as she can physically manage, “I was talking to the doctors that were working with Naegi and the others today.”
Hajime feels his heart skip a beat. He had some food in his mouth but he stops chewing at once, his shoulders tightening at once. The doctors? Since when were they here? How did he not know about this?!
This is stupid. He knew the doctors were likely going to come again. Naegi already made it clear that it was important for people to be checked over after leaving - these guys even more so considering everything. But it still feels like a stab in the gut as he fights to keep himself from doubling over just like that. Would it really be so bad if Hajime just checked everyone over himself.
Nevertheless he shakes his head clear. Hiding himself. He needs to grown up. These are the doctors Naegi trusted - these aren’t the people that used to work at Hope’s Peak. This isn’t logical in the slightest. But that doesn’t get rid of the lump in his throat.
He can feel the eyes of Nagito burning into him but he does his best to ignore the man. Instead he tries to focus in on the conversation echoing through the room.
“- were here when we first woke up and Naegi said they would be returning.” Kazuichi fills everyone in as casually as he can. Even though he’s right beside Hajime he doesn’t glance Hajime's way even once. Instead he mutters, waving his fork about nonchalantly.
“They’re back then?” Akane raises one eyebrow.
“Yes. They wanted to check in but I suggested they start tomorrow.”
Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.
He breathes in steadily and digs his nails into his palm until he draws blood. The warm liquid drips down his arm but he embraces the warmth.
Somewhere in the distance he can hear Byakuya saying something with a sense of absolute conviction but the words roll over him with ease. Part of him might have been listening but nothing has made its way into his memory.
The next thing he remembers is Nagito leaning closer, his brow tightly creased. “Izuru -” He mutters as quietly as he physically can.
But Hajime never gets the chance to hear what he wanted to say as Kazuichi suddenly lurches towards him. As he gets closer he drops a spoonful of curried rice on Hajime's plate.
“Oh, I wanted to apologise, Hajime.” Kazuichi blurts out even though he has a mouthful of food. Still entirely oblivious to Nagito's presence.
As soon as Kazuichi starts speaking Nagito flitters back to his old positioning as if hard resetting. He turns back to his food but Hajime gets the distinct feeling he is still listening to every word.
“You wanted to apologise? What for?”
“For leaving like that. I know I kinda disappeared for the last few days. It wasn’t fair for me to ditch you like that.” Kazuichi lowers his gaze as he speaks, forcing out every word.
He quickly waves it aside, “Ah, that. It’s okay. It’s fine. I was able to handle it and the others helped out.”
As annoying as it was, it really wasn’t a big deal. Sure they made these big plans about having two people around all the time but they managed with just him so it didn’t even matter in the end. If something had gone wrong it might have been another issue but as it stands there was nothing to worry about.
“It still wasn’t fair.”
He sets down his food and fully turns in his chair to address Kazuichi, his expression hardening. “Well thanks for apologising. Did you learn what you needed to?”
“How did you -?” Kazuichi frowns for a moment before shaking his head clear, “Never mind. Yeah, I think so.”
He doesn’t even need to force the smile that rests on his face, “That’s all that matters then.”
“Thanks. You’re a good friend.”
Before he can return the sentiment he’s cut off. An ear piercing yell echoes through the room. He has to hold himself back from clamping his hands over his ears. Instead he stands up as fast as he can and peers down the table to the source of the noise.
“Hiyoko! Are you okay?” Mahiru is yelling, reaching over to Hiyoko and gripping her shoulders firmly.
Hiyoko is hunched over in her chair, her legs pulled up onto it so she’s bundled up in a small ball, her entire body shaking. Sound alone is enough to tell him that her breaths are dangerously shallow as her arms remain tightly wrapped around her knees. Just when he thinks they can't get any faster she somehow manages to prove him wrong.
Is she having a panic attack?
“Hiyoko?!” Ibuki calls out desperately, searching around the table for anything she can use. “Here, breathe into this.” She picks up a napkin and folds it into a weak looking ‘bag’. It’s more of a pocket than anything else.
Thankfully Mahiru knocks aside the napkin pocket and turns Hiyoko to face her, crouching down to her height. “Here, copy my breathing.”
The two of them stare into each others eyes as they begin breathing together, slowly trying to bring down her heart rate and breathing rate as much as possible.
While everyone is occupied with Hiyoko, he takes the time to look around the room to try and piece together what had happened. Everything looks normal from where he is sitting though. All the food and plates look completely normal. The only thing that is out of place is the cup of water that has been knocked over onto Hiyoko’s plate, the water slowly drowning the small amount of food that had been sitting on it.
Well, almost the only thing.
Mikan is stood up, breathing almost as fast as Hiyoko. She’s always been pretty pale but she looks even more sickly than ever as she tries to stumble towards Hiyoko.
“I’m s-sorry, Hiyoko. I didn’t mean to -” Her arms are flailing about desperately - he's not even sure she realises she's moving them at all.
And then she makes the biggest mistake. She reaches towards Hiyoko, her arm resting on the Hiyoko’s shoulder for the briefest moment.
At once Hiyoko spins around, glaring daggers into the nurse, “Leave! I don’t want to look at you! Can’t you just disappear forever?!” The words blur together, squeezed out between panicked breaths but the effect is the same nonetheless.
Mikan jumps back as if she had just been burned, her fists pulling at her hair, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’M SORRY!” She practically screams the last words, frantically looking around the entire room as if she’s pleading to them not Hiyoko.
“Mikan -” Byakuya tries to reach towards Mikan but she’s already gone.
Before anyone else can take a single step she’s left the room at top speed, leaving the communal area entirely and disappearing down the main corridor. One of them should probably chase after her but they’re all frozen to the spot. Trapped between Mikan and Hiyoko and unable to do anything.
What even happened? Sure things hadn’t been great earlier but Hiyoko had seemed to calm down somewhat. As calm as she could be given the circumstances. What could have happened between them in such a short period of time? He can’t imagine Mikan doing something to Hiyoko - at least not on purpose.
“Hiyoko? Are you feeling better now?” Ibuki’s words snap him back to Hiyoko at once.
Her breathing has stilled slightly but her hands are now clamped around her head, hiding her face from view. Without warning she jumps up, shoving even Mahiru aside. Just like Mikan she suddenly takes off sprinting, the only difference being that she heads the opposite way. Running off towards her room at once. As she runs he just about catches a glimpse of her face, it’s still stained with tears, every inch of her skin bright pink and tightly screwed up.
“Leave me alone!” She screeches at the top of her lungs, slamming her door closed behind her.
“Hiyoko…” Mahiru sighs as she stares down at the ground, “I’m going to check on her. You might want to check on Mikan…” But despite her words, she doesn’t once raise her head. Her shoulders are hunched over, making her seem smaller than ever.
None of them make any moves to stop Mahiru as she slowly stalks off to Hiyoko’s room. If anyone can help Hiyoko it will be Mahiru. He feels bad for always putting this on her but if anyone else went in there he can only imagine how much worse it would be. All they can do is stand there as Mahiru disappears, leaving them alone in the heavy awkwardness.
“This party went well…” Akane mumbles, dropping her chopsticks onto her plate with a clatter. It’s only then that he notices, unlike everyone else, her plate is still basically full. Even though she had grabbed a decent amount of food, barely more than a few bites is gone from it all.
“You can say that again.” Kazuichi sighs, pushing his food aside so he can face plant onto the table.
“We should try to find Mikan. This was meant to be her birthday after all.” Sonia mutters, biting her lower lip. He'd expected she would be the one to take charge and check on her but instead she seems to gradually shrink in on herself.
Ibuki moves to volunteer herself but Hajime holds a hand up before she can, “I’ll go and look for her. I know this place pretty well so I’ll be able to find her quickly.”
Ibuki stiffens and her smile drops but she nods anyway. Regardless of how close they are even she can hear the logic in Hajime's words.
“We’ll leave it to you then.” Nekomaru clenches his jaw and gently pulls Akane along by the shoulder.
Not wanting to waste a second he shoves his hands in his pockets and flees the room. It’s a big building but he already knows exactly where he’s going. There’s one place he often saw Mikan when she was a despair. If there’s one place she would go when she’s upset then it’s definitely there…that is if someone told her how to access it already…
Sure enough, she’s right there.
He has no idea who would have told her about this place but maybe she just stumbled upon it on her own. Clearly someone left the door off the latch since the key card wasn't needed to get up here but that’s hardly one of their top ten concerns right now.
As he approaches she’s right there, crouched on the edge of the roof. Both legs tucked up tightly until she’s nothing more than a small ball perched right on the edge. Silhouetted against the red sky she looks much smaller than usual. A feeble animal curling in on itself. Sinking away into nothing.
Her jagged and slightly matted hair is swooping around her almost elegantly as the wind dances with her. With the wind like this you could pretend she’s only shaking from the force of it. Pretending is what she needs right now…what they both need.
“Mikan?” He takes a cautious step forward, “Mikan? Is it okay if I join you?”
She doesn’t say anything but her shoulders tremble ever so slightly. Each of his footsteps are as loud as he can make them but she never once tells him to go away. Maintaining a good distance from her he sits on the edge of the roof, letting his feet dangle freely.
“I always love it up here. It feels so freeing. Like the rest of the world doesn’t exist.” He breathes in heavily and tilts his head up to the sky. He can only imagine how fresh the air must have tasted when it actually was fresh and wasn’t polluted.
Mikan hums softly but he doesn’t dare turn towards her. He can hear each and every meek and muffled sob as they shake through the very core of her being. When he closes his eyes he can even hear the sound of her tears smacking against the roof and the sound of her fiercely rubbing at her already raw eyes.
“I’m sorry for what happened down there.”
He’s not really sure why he’s apologising to her, it’s not like he did anything wrong himself. Maybe he’s just apologising for the sake of it. Or maybe just so she hears someone say it, even if it isn’t the person she would want to hear it from. It would be unfair for any of them to demand that from Hiyoko though. In spite of everything, he doesn't blame her at all.
“N-No…It’s…It’s okay…” She can barely choke out the words. After each one her breath catches so badly he almost thinks she’s about to throw up. With every passing word her voice gets louder. More desperate. More pleading.
“It’s not okay.” The unspoken: ‘it’s your birthday’ sits between them like an unwelcome guest.
Birthdays have always baffled him. Why would anyone want to celebrate the day you were born? It’s not like you did anything special worth celebrating. And yet, warm feelings still soak through his bones at the thought of a birthday. Probably some relic from the Neo World Program. Back when he had a birthday - the first of January. Of course. In way he supposes it just a way of taking a day to show someone how glad you are they’re in the world but they royally messed that one up today.
The thought takes him back to a few days ago when they had last brought up the subject. At this point he honestly can't tell which of the two 'celebrations' was more depressing which is saying something.
Mikan finally raises her head from her arms, her head snapping around look at Hajime properly, “It…it is….H-Hiyoko i-is right-t.” Her chest rises and falls dramatically with every word she speaks. Her shoulders tremble and her teeth chatter.
He’s seen blood shot eyes before, more than he would like to remember, but there’s something so visceral about seeing Mikan like this. He had never noticed just how big her eyes were before. It’s like they contain an entire ocean which is currently spilling out onto her raw red cheeks. He can barely even see the soft gray colour of her eyes through the thick waving layer of tears clinging to her. Tears are all that is left.
Who is he to contradict her? It’s not like he can say Hiyoko is wrong. No matter how much he wants to make her feel better, he can’t just go around lying. What would that solve? After everything, it’s not like they can expect Hiyoko to just move on, it’s a miracle that Ibuki could really. Nekomaru and Byakuya too. If they aren’t expecting Mahiru to forgive Peko then how could they ask that of Hiyoko?
Without anything else to say, he raises his arms and turns himself slightly toward her, “Would you like a hug?” He had seen her clinging to Ibuki a few times now and it always seemed to soothe the woman but it’s not like he can just go over and hug her without a warning. Not when she’s like this.
For a few seconds nothing happens. They both sit there listening to the wind rush between them. But then, instead of speaking, Mikan slowly shuffles towards him, folding herself into his side. Forming a cage around her, he brings his arm down, holding her close to his side.
At once she breathes out a deep sigh, her tears staining into his shirt. Each of her breaths rattles through him but he only hold her tighter. The hand that’s wrapped around her gently brushes against the side of her head, matching the pace of her shakes.
For a while they just sit there. Not moving. Not speaking. He simply watches the sky in front of them as she cries into him. He’d always assumed tears were a finite resource but sat here now there’s no way that’s the case. Either that or Mikan has managed to cultivate a far larger reserve than the average person.
It’s only when her shaking dies down and she starts to turn her head out towards the sky before them that he dares to speak. Breaking the perfect silence they had cultivated.
“Did Sonia fill you in on what happened after you died in the Neo World Program?” He hums as quietly as he can, his head resting on top of hers.
She flinches at the motion for a second before settling once again, her head tilting ever so slightly to look further out at the sky. Instead of speaking she simply shakes her head, jostling him ever so slightly.
“Would you like to know?”
A pause. Nothing. He waits, holding his breath until he feels a gentle nod.
“Well, first Nekomaru was brought back to us as a robot.”
Mikan stiffens instantly, pulling away from him so she can properly look at his face. The tears might have stopped but her cheeks are still glistening and her eyes are still completely bloodshot. However, instead of the crumpled and shivering expression he had seen before, her eyes are wide with disbelief. Studying him curiously.
“I know, it sounds crazy but it was a program after all. Anything was possible.” That seems to settle her somewhat. Although she stays sat up, watching him curiously, her body relaxes somewhat into him again, “And then we got tricked into entering this crazy fun house and Gundham killed Nekomaru. And after that Nagito went off the deep end, he figured out that we were all the remnants of despair and he tried to kill us all by setting up Chiaki to kill him and trying to make it so we wouldn’t be able to figure out she did it.”
“Chiaki…” Her voice cracks painfully as she utters a single word. The one word that seems to hang over all of their heads.
“Yeah. She sacrificed herself so we could all survive.”
It feels strange saying it aloud. She was just an AI program - an NPC of sorts - and yet it’s the only word that fits her actions. No matter what it still felt like a true sacrifice. They had never had much time to process what happened to her in the program but now…knowing she is gone for good unlike everyone else…he almost wonders if it would have been better if they had all died instead. At least they were able to be re-awoken but Chiaki…
“I…is she…?”
“She died years ago when Junko…” He swallows the lump that is rising in his throat. Even just saying the words brings the images of her broken body back into his mind. A ghost forever haunting him. His punishment for never stopping Junko. It’s not like he couldn’t have. If he had wanted to he could have put an end to her at any point in time. But he didn’t and now here they are.
He clears his throat and tries to chase the thoughts away, “She was just an AI program built from our memories of Chiaki. And yet she knew the entire time who we really are. Unlike the rest of us she knew why we had been put there that entire time and she was willing to break her protocol to save us. She believed in us all and wanted to do everything she could to save us. She was able to forgive us for what we did.”
“W-What are you-u trying-g to s-say…?” She stutters, tightening her grip on his shirt as if it her last life line in this world.
“Look, it wasn’t just you that hurt people in there. Teruteru killed Byakuya, Peko killed Mahiru, Gundham killed Nekomaru and Nagito tried to kill everyone. This wasn’t just you attacking people.”
With each name he speaks into being, the images of their bodies flashes before him. No matter how much he tells himself that they’re still here despite everything, the images refuse to leave.
“I-I know but I r-remember how it felt. I really wanted to kill them both. I-I needed-d t-to go back t-to Junko.”
To remember all that, he can’t even imagine how that feels. Even remembering the things he did while working alongside Junko sends a chill down him and those were strangers he had never met. How would it feel to have actively enjoyed doing those things to people you cared about? It isn’t just Mikan either. Junko was right, they had butchered and tortured their own families while working with her. Everyone must be feeling this in someway or another - even if they don't show it on the surface.
“Yeah well fuck Junko.” He spits the words out with all the power he can muster.
“But -”
He shifts his position slightly so he can grip her shoulders and hold her at his eye level, “Look, if you think you don’t deserve forgiveness because of what you did to Hiyoko and Ibuki then that’s fine. I can’t argue that you do deserve forgiveness. But if you don’t forgive yourself then remember we’ve all done equally terrible things as remnants of despair. When you killed them both you were the despair version of yourself again. By that logic we need to remember all the terrible things we did, not just that one. We’re all in the same boat unfortunately.”
“W-We’re all going-g to hell, a-aren’t we?”
That makes him chuckle for a split second. As if it was even a question at this point. It’s not like he believes in a god - what god would design the world they live in? - but the thought is amusing nonetheless.
“Probably. But at least we’ll go together right.” He releases his hold on her slightly, letting her fold back into his side with ease. “Was this how you wanted to spend your birthday?”
Mikan burst into tears once again but this time it feels different. Between the heart wrenching sobs are what almost sounds like laughs. Even though she’s clinging to his side, he can almost catch her smiling a few times.
It might not be the fantastic birthday party they all had planned but as he sits there holding onto her, he lets himself smile for a moment. Nothing has changed and yet he feels lighter. He just holds Mikan tighter, watching the red sky hovering above them.
Notes:
Happy Birthday to Mikan! Even if this birthday wasn't quite as smooth as one would hope for...
Chapter 19: 13th of May
Summary:
The dreaded day of the doctor check ups arrive once more.
Chapter Text
13/05 - 09:12
“Can you pass the juice?” Sonia asks, clearing her throat.
They’re all gathered around the table once again. If he had thought their last meal together was the most awkward it could get then he was sorely mistaken.
The silence alone is deafening, let alone the side looks being thrown less than subtly around the table.
“Here.” Kazuichi sighs but he slides the jug over without much hassle.
No one is surprised that Hiyoko and Mahiru didn’t show up to breakfast today. Sonia had been hopeful and coerced Hajime into cooking again but even the warm scent of food didn’t do the job.
However, much to his relief, Peko, Fuyuhiko, and Mikan all still showed up. Sure, Fuyuhiko and Peko are pressed so close together they might as well be sitting on each other and Mikan is just barely pretending to play with her food but at least it’s something. Sat next to Akane, it's hard to not drawn the comparisons between the both of them. Mirror images. Both if them fiddling with their food, gently pushing it to and fro on the plate.
The atmosphere probably isn’t helped by the complete mess that surrounds them. Decorations still litter the room from yesterday and the fairy lights Byakuya and Kazuichi had strung up are flickering away weakly. Bit by bit the batteries are slowly dying off until eventually they will be gone too. Thankfully Sonia and Gundham had had the foresight to clean up the plates at least, but everything else is practically untouched from the day before.
When him and Mikan had finally ventured back down they had found the communal area empty. Everyone had fled back to their safe spaces as fast as they could. It’s not like he can blame them though. The only problem is now they need to deal with everything that happened. Not just that, there’s the other thing to deal with.
“So you mentioned the doctors wanted to check us out today?” Byakuya hums between bites of food. Their ex.pression is as stoic as ever. All hard edges and firm resolution.
He clenches his chopsticks harder but feeling Nagito’s eyes burning into him he refuses to let anything show on his face. Or at least he hopes he does. It's hard to be sure if he's successful or not without being able to see himself.
He knew this was coming. He had been bracing himself all evening for the thought of what was to come. No matter what he feels, they need to be checked over. The images of Nagito’s slowly decomposing arm, Fuyuhiko’s rotting eye and Mikan’s..alterations…all flash before him. Let alone whatever they’re going to say about people like Akane. Living like that can't be good for any of them.
“Yes. They said the sooner the better.”
“All of us?” Kazuichi frowns cautiously, his eyes darting over Hajime, Akane, and Fuyuhiko before settling on Sonia.
“Yes. I believe we all could do with a check over.”
Fuyuhiko throws down his chopsticks, letting them clatter loudly against the smooth china. As he does so he leans back in his chair, Peko’s hand sneakily winding under the table to cling onto his arm, “Fine, what’s the plan then.” He doesn’t even bother trying to hide the way he clenches his jaw.
It’s almost a relief to hear other people being less than happy at the idea. For a moment he can trick himself into believing its a completely natural reaction.
Taking none of Fuyuhiko’s shit, Sonia clears her throat and sits up straight. Her eyes burns but she maintains a cool and relaxed posture, “I will go and communicate with them. I presume they will call us over as they require us.”
“Ummm, would you like Ibuki to accompany you?” Ibuki asks tentatively. But even as she speaks she leans into Mikan, letting Mikan cling to her for dear life.
“Only if you would be willing to.” Beside her Gundham breathes a sigh of relief.
And that’s that. No more questions. No more offers. They all just continue eating quietly, all doing their best to ignore the elephant in the room.
In the back of his mind he wonders if Hiyoko or Teruteru are even going to be willing to come out for the doctor. They’ll just have to pray that they understand how important this is. Especially given what was happening yesterday - although he doubts the doctors will be able to help with that.
As soon as he has shovelled in as much food as possible he gets up, chucking his plate in the sink, and he stalks off to his room. With every step he can feel Nagito and Kazuichi watching him but he doesn’t dare look back. Not even once. He just needs to be alone in his room for a little while. Just for a little while…
~~~
13/05 - 12:45
“Gundham Tanaka?” The doctor calls out, stepping into the communal area with his clipboard diligently in his hand.
A pen has been tucked behind his ear, barely covered by his mess of brown hair. A neat pair of sleek glasses perch on his nose but he doesn’t even look up at them. His eyes are firmly locked on the clipboard and whatever notes he has been given.
After talking with the doctors, Sonia had gathered them all in the communal area as if trying to mimic a real doctors office. All of them crowded together on the couches, trapped listening to the tapping of feet and out of tune humming that echoes around the entire room. If he didn’t know better he would assume they were trying to drag this out as long as possible. Purposefully keeping them all stuck listening to the names getting called out one by one.
Much to his surprise, absolutely everyone showed their face. Most of them had been cramped onto the couches in their little groups - Fuyuhiko and Peko claimed a small couch all to themselves and no one lifts a finger to argue. Giving them both space as they hunch over and mutter together.
Gundham and Byakuya both got in early and grabbed themselves armchairs before anyone else could stake a claim. However, while Byakuya sits in it all prim and proper, Gundham drags his legs up until they're pressed to his chest. Making him into a small ball as he surveys them from his arm chair perch.
At the same time Sonia, Ibuki and Mikan have all been squished onto one of the smaller couches with Akane sat on the floor at their feet. Her head leaning back to rest on the edge of the couch between Sonia and Ibuki. Her matted hair fans around her as she glares up at the ceiling.
That leaves him stuck on the corner sofa with Nekomaru, Kazuichi. Fortunately they’re both making enough noise with their chatter and foot tapping that it drowns out any sound of his own teeth chattering.
Despite everyone else being gathered in the sitting area there are a small handful of people quarantined off. Nagito, Mahiru, Hiyoko and Teruteru had all chosen of their own free will to sit as far away as possible - although he supposes it wasn't like there were an abundance of seating spaces but they didn't need to sit all th way across the room.
Nagito remains sitting on the floor with his back pressed up against the wall near the corridor to the rooms. At first he had had his head down but it wasn't long before he was sitting upright again. Surveying everyone and everything in that subtle way of his. Only tracking people in his peripheral vision.
Meanwhile the others have at least opted to sit up at the table of nothing else. Mahiru and Hiyoko have staked a claim at the dining table, staying as near to the bedrooms as they can without so much as glancing in Nagito's direction. Their heads are lowered, almost pressed together, as they mumble to each other.
Across from them, at the opposite side of the dining table is Teruteru. Although he is physically here, he spends the entire time lying on the table, his face hidden by his hair. If he didn’t know for a fact this was Teruteru he would have a hard time believing it. He’s not sure he wants to know how much weight the boy has lost in the last few days. Akane might still be more skeletal but at this point it’s a close match between the two. Seeing him look so decrepit is a foreign feeling. Like the life force has been forcibly sucked out of his body.
Has he eaten anything since waking up here? Akane did say it was him she saw in the kitchen but she never did tell them what he was doing.
He’s agreeing with the idea of seeing a doctor more and more with every passing second.
After hearing his name called out, Gundham slowly drags himself out of his chair. Without having his scarf to sink into he just hangs his head as far down as he possibly can until his neck practically disappears into nothingness. He’s always been relatively tall but right now he’s never looked smaller. All they can do is stare at his back as he’s marched away down the hallway - disappearing until even his footsteps are gone.
With every person that disappears the tension gets thicker and thicker. Slowly smothering them. First it had been Mikan but even though an hour had passed and she still hadn’t returned. Byakuya had disappeared after and had quickly returned to
their own room after a short check up. Then it had been Ibuki and even she returned - although she had simply retaken her seat back beside Sonia. No matter how long they wait for there is still no sign of Mikan anywhere. None of them dare ask though.
Instead they all wait patiently, counting the seconds until Gundham returns. Somewhere in the back of his mind he’s aware of the others mindless chatter, but he tunes them all out. He tries to distract himself by focusing on Kazuichi beside him who is taking apart and rebuilding a small alarm clock over and over. It might be repetitive and predictable but there’s something soothing about seeing the same motions repeated. Even though Kazuichi is still tapping his foot on the floor, every movement of his hands is smooth and well practiced. A perfectly oiled machine.
He only tears his eyes away when Gundham steps through the doorway. He doesn’t even look their way before he stalks through the room, making a beeline towards his own bedroom.
Still no Mikan.
“Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu.” The doctors calls out the name with a monotonous tone.
Fuyuhiko puffs up his shoulders and shoves his hands in his pockets but he’s not hiding anything from Hajime. Not when he can see the awkward way Fuyuhiko swallows and how his hands shake right before he hides them away. However. even as he’s being lead out of the room, he never looks back. Always focused on moving forwards.
Peko shuffles forward, perched directly on the edge of the couch but even she can’t do anything. It’s not like she can just chase after them. She’s as powerless as the rest of them, forced to sit there and wait. Part of him wants to sit next to her and say something but he has no idea what he would say. And he gets the distinct impression she wouldn’t care for his presence. Especially not now.
However when the doctor next return Fuyuhiko isn’t with him. Just like with Mikan he has completely vanished into thin air.
“Peko Pekoyama.” The words sound almost like a death sentence at this point. The more people that vanish, the harder his heart thunders in his chest.
And yet Peko still disappears, following the doctor diligently. In fact, she practically runs out of the room. The entire time her hands are balled into tight fists. Just like everyone else she disappears around the corner and they’re all just left waiting.
Once more no one reappears when the doctor next shows up. He has half a mind to turn around and demand answers from Ibuki but before he can say anything the doctor calls out the next name.
“Ha - Izuru Kamukura.”
His breath catches. His heart thunders in his ears so loudly he can’t help but wonder if everyone else is able to hear it too. There is no way they can’t.
Every inch of his body wants to turn around and run be he doesn’t. Following Fuyuhiko’s example he simply tucks his hands into his pockets and allows himself to be marched out of the room.
Although he always follows diligently behind, he makes sure to keep a few steps between him and the other man no matter what. Even when the doctor stops in front of the medical room he makes sure to stay well out of arms reach. Only stepping into the room when the doctor has started fiddling with the equipment in the room.
“Take a seat, Kamukura.” The doctor clears his throat as he pulls up his gloves.
Cautiously Hajime steps closer to the chair, taking barely more than pigeon steps. It’s the same chair and medical room he had seen with Kazuichi days ago. He should have known he would end up in this chair after everything. He always does.
“Kamukura? Is something wrong?” The doctor narrows his eyes. The calculating gaze fixated on Hajime as they look him up and down.
Shaking off his discomfort he closes the distance between himself and the chair, hissing through his clenched teeth, “No, nothing’s wrong. I just want to get this over with.”
“That’s okay. This should be quick.”
“I was already examined when I first woke up by one of the doctors.”
“I understand but we just need to be extra sure. Just in case there have been unexpected long term side effects.”
“Yeah well, you said you'd be quick.” He grumbles and leans back in the chair. Giving himself up to the mercy of the doctor.
Like he’s moving on auto pilot he blindly follows all the doctors instructions. Lifting up his shirt. Breathing into the equipment. Having blood drawn. Standing on the scales. Letting the doctor poke about near his scar.
The entire time his head aches and buzzes like he’s been stuffed full of live bees. Even though he’s moving his body, he almost feels like a puppet on strings. Each of his body parts numb and moving on their own without his consent. And yet he stays silent and still, letting the man do everything he needs to.
Even as he starts peeling off his gloves, turning his back on Hajime finally, the fuzziness doesn’t fade. It clings to every inch of his skin. Claws dug deep within him.
“You’re in relatively good condition. A little underweight for our liking but it could be worse all things considered.” The doctor brushes himself down, not smiling even once, “Your surgery scars have healed well, you clearly had some good doctors.”
Good doctors. He almost wants to laugh but his body doesn’t respond to him. Instead he just mutters, “Yeah…”
“Just make sure you’re eating three meals a day and try to take some multivitamins with your meals for a little while until you’re back to top health.”
As the doctor runs through the instructions he scribbles something down on his clip board. It takes everything Hajime has to not try and peer over the edge and get a peek at the words. It’s probably not even anything interesting and yet his mind burns with curiosity. Just one peek couldn’t hurt, right? But the clipboard has been turned away and hidden before he can make any moves.
“You can head back now. I need to grab the next person.”
“What happened to the others?” The words spill out before he’s even realised he’s said them.
The doctor freezes for a moment, brow furrowing sternly, “The others?”
Sliding his feet off the chair, he folds his arms and scowls at the man. A red hot poker of anger sparks through him. He’s not even sure why he’s angry but now he is it rages through him, setting every nerve alight.
“My friends. Mikan, Peko, and Fuyuhiko. They never came back from here.” He spits the words out, taking a single step towards the doctor. Yet the doctor doesn’t relent any ground, he stays firmly rooted completely ignoring Hajime.
“Ah, we had some worries about Mikan and Fuyuhiko so they’re being kept for observation for a few hours until we determine the best solution. And your friend Peko asked to stay with them for a little while.”
“Can I see them?” He holds his head up high, refusing to back down. While he might phrase it as a question but it’s not a matter of asking. It’s politeness, nothing more.
There is no reason to doubt the doctor - this is the person Naegi and the others decided to trust - but his bones still ache. His stomach is ready to walk out at a moments notice. Maybe just seeing them would settle him slightly. Hopefully.
“Of course. The patient room is through here. You can stop in and say hello to them all before heading back.”
With an easy casual flick of the wrist he gestures towards a door at the side of the room. It looks completely unassuming. Just a plain wood door without any kind of label.
As Hajime makes his way over the doctor doesn’t even give him a second look. Instead he has gone back to his clipboard, scratching more notes down on the paper. Hajime does his best to ignore the man, pulling open the door instead and stepping into the dark corridor beyond.
Immediately the door swings closed behind him, sealing off the source of light and leaving him in almost completely darkness. The low light somehow seems to cast shadows that dance around him. Taunting him as they grow closer. Despite all the obvious differences, it still summons images of the hospital in the Neo World Program to the forefront of his mind. The itchy, eerie atmosphere bringing him back to that twisted placed.
Without a proper light source he has to stumble through the room, hand brushing against the wall until he can feel it shifting into a wooden door. Of course he doesn’t linger there though. Instead he pushes forward, crossing his fingers that this is the right room.
At once he is smacked by a blinding light hitting him full force. Blinding him right as he peers his head around the doorway, unsure of what he’s about to see, “Fuyuhiko? Peko? Mikan?”
However, instead of some sinister looking surgery room or another horror-esque place it looks surprisingly…normal. A few beds laid out in large empty room with blue curtains strung up between the beds offering meager privacy. In front of the beds are two couches, TV’s propped up above each one but they both seem to be unplugged, the wires hanging loosely out the back.
Peko is hunched over on one of the couches, her entire face firm and sharp. She might not have her sword on her right now but he almost expects her to whip out a weapon at the drop of a hat.
Unlike Peko, Mikan and Fuyuhiko have both been tucked into bed, their clothes swapped out for flimsy blue hospital gowns. Mikan has sunk down into the mattress, pulling the covers tightly around her. Meanwhile, Fuyuhiko is still sat up in the bed, his arms folded tightly and his head turned away from the doorway.
“Did they send you in here too?” Fuyuhiko grumbles.
“Not exactly. I just asked if I could check on you both.”
Shifting his weight from side to side, he awkwardly stands in the doorway. Part of him wants to walk in and take a seat on the couches but with Peko glaring at him he doesn’t dare take a step forwards. He’s starting to wonder why he even bothered coming here in the first place if this is all he's going to do.
“T-Thank you…” Mikan mumbles, pulling the covers even tighter around her.
“What happened? Why did they have to keep you in here?” Given that these are the two people who were pulled aside he suspects he knows exactly why they’ve been chosen, but he asks anyway.
“They want us to have surgery.” Fuyuhiko snaps as if it’s a completely unwarranted suggestion.
“The doctor said if we don’t r-remove the b-body parts we could…we could…” With the curtain hanging between them Mikan thankfully doesn’t notice the way Fuyuhiko rolls his eyes.
“He thinks we’re going to get blood poisoning or whatever.”
“Sepsis.” Mikan sinks further into her mattress as she speaks, “He’s n-not wrong…we’re l-lucky we have been o-okay so far.”
Honestly, she has a point. Sewing body parts onto your own amputated body should have killed them a long time ago. It’s a miracle they lived this long, especially since the body parts have been relatively safe from rot so far. Even in death Junko refuses to truly leave.
“I’m not having a fucking surgery in this place.” Fuyuhiko crosses his arms and turns like a sulking child. His entire brow is creased - or at least the bits Hajime can see.
Mikan twiddles with her thumbs, staring at the curtain as if hoping she’ll somehow meet Fuyuhiko’s eyes, “But what if he’s not wrong…”
“I don’t trust him. He gave me a weird feeling.”
It’s not like he can disagree. No matter how much Naegi and the other trust him, he feels too…familiar for Hajime's liking. How can you trust someone like that? However when you get desperate enough anything is possible he supposes.
“I know what you mean but Mikan and the doctor both aren’t wrong. Is it really worth the risk of dying from this?”
They’ve been lucky with miracles so far but how long can they rely on that luck? They have seen first hand from Nagito how messy that can get. It’s better to put your faith in logic.
Fuyuhiko finally turns to glare at Hajime. His eye burning bright, almost threatening, “Would you let him operate on you like that?”
His heart skips a beat but he keeps his expression flat and stern. If he starts giving in then Fuyuhiko will have all the ammunition to try and avoid this forever - or at least as long as Peko allows him to which judging by the vein popping on her forehead is not much longer.
He takes a deep breath in and relaxes his posture, “Look, just think about it. I’ll let the others know you’re in here.” He gives up on Fuyuhiko, turning to Peko instead, “Do you want me to bring you anything?”
“No.” Her jaw twitches as she readjusts her posture. Straight backed and tense she waits. Ever the diligent bodyguard.
“Okay. I’ll come around and check in later then.”
“G-Goodbye H-Hajime-e…” Mikan doesn’t even bother attempting to smile, her eyes glistening softly.
He gives them all a weak wave but he can feel Peko’s eyes on him the entire time, even after he has closed the door behind him. Only once the door is closed does he dare let out a shuddering breath, goosebumps rippling up his spine.
~~~
13/05 - 23:28
To no ones surprise, it isn’t just Fuyuhiko and Mikan who are kept behind. When Nagito heads into the room he stays gone, being scurried away by the doctor. But outside of that, none of them get any news from the others that are secluded back there. No matter how long they wait, Peko never shows her face. He doubts she will move a muscle until Fuyuhiko is cleared and sent back here.
Outside of those three, he never did find out what the doctor had to say about each of them. They were all released back to their rooms though so it can’t have been too bad at least. Either that or the doctor just had nothing he could do to help them.
As more and more people disappear into their rooms the communal area just grows quieter and quieter. The only people that wanted to stick around were Ibuki and Sonia. As soon as everyone has had their appointment with the doctor even he makes an excuse to leave and flees to his room. It’s not that he doesn’t want to spend time with the two of them but after everything that has happened recently the peace and quiet of his own room is starting to look more and more appealing.
Neither of them bother trying to make him stay, wishing him well and waving him off as they sip at their tea. As soon as he’s back in his room he throws himself onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling silently.
Every bone in his body aches to its core. It’s not like he even did anything today - most of his day was spent sitting around waiting for things to happen. Yet he still feels like he’s run a marathon.
He doesn’t even bother changing his clothes, laying on top of his covers and knotting his hands into his hair. Laying there he does the only thing he can, screwing his eyes closed as he prays for sleep but still it eludes him. Anything - even the nightmares - would be better than the boredom of just laying there doing nothing but it’s like his entire body is purposefully working against him.
The more he lays there, the more he could swear he’s hearing chatter and muffled footsteps outside but he doesn't move an inch from his bed. He just wants to sleep. Tuning out the others as best he can. It's times like this that he wonders what it's like having normal ears and hearing.
Yet all he can think about is Mikan, Fuyuhiko, and Nagito a few rooms away. Fuyuhiko's words earlier rattle around in his mind. Have they already come to a decision? It sounded like Mikan had when he was there but what about Nagito and Fuyuhiko?
Grumbling to himself he gives up, jumping out of bed and heading over to the bathroom. He’s only half aware of what he’s doing as he starts flashing water in his face. Bit by bit his hair gets wetter and wetter until it’s laying flat against his head, sticking to his scalp.
For a few minutes he stands in front of the mirror, staring as his own reflection as droplets of water start trickling down his face. Even now with his hair short, his stomach aches at the sight of piercing red eyes glaring back at him. Sharp and bright and so very foreign. He’s not sure he even wants to know how they made them this colour…
Grabbing a towel he buries his face in the material, practically smothering himself. His hair still sticks awkwardly to his head but at least his skin is mostly dry now. He doesn’t even bother hanging up the towel, simply chucking it onto the floor as he turns on his heel and leaves.
He’s not sure where he’s going. He’s just leaving. Anywhere. Everywhere. It’s not like there’s that many places he can go. He settles for the communal area, creeping out silently in search of anything to distract his mind.
In spite of the lateness he's of course not the only one there. He should have known… Apparently Sonia and Ibuki had cleared out - their tea cups still sitting beside the sink - but there is no sign of them anywhere. Instead Byakuya is stood in front of the sink, sponge in hand as they gently wipe the cups and abandoned plates down.
Of course, since they haven't had their Byakuya disguise on for a while they haven't resembled the ‘affluent progeny’ for a long time but the blonde hair still remains. It’s easy to forget sometimes they aren’t actually that person anymore, even when they're dressed in the same black joggers and a white shirt. However as they stand there now, water splashing on their shirt and sleeves rolled up, Hajime is more aware than ever of that distinction between the two.
“Are you okay Hajime?” From the kitchen they begin to lower their hands. Allowing the cup they had been cleaning to fall back into the soapy water once again.
“Yeah. I’m fine.”
“What are you doing out here? Rest is a vital part of recovery.” Byakuya's eyes pass over the clock above the doorway as if they aren’t stood here themselves.
Hypocritical much?
“I just couldn’t sleep. I wanted to clean up this place before I tried again.”
He makes up an excuse on the spot but looking around it’s somewhat believable. How much longer can they really keep the room like this?
“Clean?”
“Yeah, the birthday decorations don’t leave the most positive memories.” He waves his hand about at the mess hanging around them.
“Hmmm, you might be right.” They grab a nearby towel and wipe their hands down. Strolling over to Hajime's side instantly, “I’ll help you.”
“Are you sure?”
“I wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t.”
“Okay then.” They don't bother trying to smile at least, instead opting for a stern nod.
They both crack on with work quietly. Cautiously shuffling about the room, gathering everything in their arms. He does his best to roll up the lights neatly as he gently pulls them down. There’s not much that can be done to completely prevent them knotting but he does his best. For a moment he considers keeping the decorations stored somewhere but in the end they settle on shoving it all in the nearest bin. That doesn’t stop him from sneakily shoving a few into his pocket when Byakuya's back is turned though.
For the most part they work in silence, enjoying the mere presence of one another more than anything else. However as they both pull butterflies off of the walls Byakuya finally speaks, “Hajime, I realised yesterday that I never asked if you wanted me to call you Hajime or Izuru. I heard Nagito and Kazuichi calling you Izuru still and I realised I made a bit of an assumption about you.”
“It’s fine.” He doesn’t even think twice before waving it off casually.
“No it isn’t.” Byakuya snaps back without a second thought. Stopping cleaning entirely to fully turning around to address Hajime face to face, “You asked me what I would like to be called but I didn’t give you the same courtesy. What do you want to be called?”
Want? The word feels foreign on his tongue. Considering everything that’s going on it seems silly to think about. Do people just go around choosing their own names?
“I haven’t really thought about it properly.” He hums out loud, “I’ll let you know when I figure it out but for now Hajime is…nice…” It takes a few seconds for the word to come. Even after he’s said it, it doesn’t feel right but Byakuya smiles warmly so he doesn’t bother correcting himself.
The same issues from before still stand and he doubts they are ever going to change. He doesn’t really want to be called Izuru - anything that ties him to Hopes Peak makes his skin tingle. And yet somehow being called Hajime doesn’t feel right either. Like two misfitting socks. Both wrong but in different ways. Perhaps this is just a dilemma he needs to live with for the rest of his life.
“I’ll look forward to it, Hajime.” Byakuya chuckles slightly, their head dipping to stare at their feet, “Look at us. Two fools without our identities.”
“We’re a bit of a mess, aren’t we.” He finds himself laughing along too even though he probably shouldn’t be.
“A little bit.”
Chapter 20: 14th of May
Summary:
The surgeries begin to take place to undo as much damage as they can.
Chapter Text
14/05 - 12:43
Sighing, he leans against the window sill. His head is mere millimeters away from the glass. It takes everything he has to not press his head against the cool surface until the glass cracks and he can burst through. Keeping himself frozen to the spot.
Beside him is Peko, her nails chewed down to the base. He’s pretty sure she hasn’t blinked since Fuyuhiko disappeared into the surgery room opposite the patient room. Every ounce of her focus directed solely at the room beyond the glass.
This place looks so different to the day before when he had stumbled through in the darkness. With the lights turned on all he can see is the blinding, sterile whiteness drenching everything. Light shimmering off every surface. It’s only a small thin corridor and yet it seems to go on forever. Desolate and plain. The only thing breaking it up being the large pane of glass in the middle of the room.
Despite Fuyuhiko's grumbling yesterday, they still ended up here in the end. He had come to the medical room to deliver breakfast to everyone only to have most of it confiscated by the doctor. Only him, Peko and Mikan had been allowed any of the food while Fuyuhiko and Nagito had been trapped watching them eat. Their stomachs slowly growing louder and louder.
As much as they might want to, there’s nothing more he can do for them. Not when their surgeries had been booked in for today, although even that had no forewarning leading up to it. While he understands the need to be prompt, it does feel like it came out of nowhere.
“He'll be okay.” He offers Peko the meager support that he can. In spite of how pointless it all feels, it only feels worse to not say anything at all when it’s just the two of them out here.
“Yes. This will be better for him.”
The further away they all are from anything Junko related the better. There’s nothing they can do for his sight but at least he won’t be putting himself at risk if they cut out the eye now. Removing it for good. At this point he must be used to only having sight in one eye though. It’s as if fate has it out for that eye specifically.
With the window here he can see the entire procedure as a gaggle of doctors all gather around the operating table. Standing here on the other side of the after all this time sends goosebumps rippling up his arms and a shiver down his spine. Was this what he would have looked like back then? Pale and washed out but the bright lights and fluorescent clothes. His memories don’t begin until after that moment so it’s impossible for him to ever know for sure.
Part of him wants to leave and walk as far away as he can where he won’t be able to see the procedure but the other half keeps him standing there. While he could leave, there’s no way Peko would join. He’s not even sure she's physically capable of moving, every limb locked tightly as she stands there. She would probably be happy to dismiss his company but that doesn’t change the fierce thundering of her heart or the weak way her breath rattles. No matter what she says she needs someone with her. She isn’t as indestructible as she likes to believe.
He can feel every second passing as they stand there. Ticking, ticking, ticking. His arms slowly turn numb from the weight of him leaning on them but still he doesn’t move. The imprint of the window sill left on his skin. Red marks marring his skin.
The entire time Peko remains as still as a statue. Only when the doctors start backing away an hour later does she finally move. At first he almost thinks he's imagining it but sure enough she’s blinking and backing away from the window.
“Did it go okay?” Her voice is higher than normal and she grips onto the window sill even harder. Knuckles turning whiter and whiter.
“It looks like it.”
“So he'll be okay?” She whips her head around to Hajime, her eyes wide. Wild. A feral look haunting them. Standing out harshly against the sterility of the rest of the world.
Looking at Fuyuhiko from all the way out here it all seems fine. Sure, with this angle it’s hard to get a good look at the eye itself but the relaxed postures of the doctors tells more than enough. Surely if something was wrong there would be panic running rampant through the room, right?
“I’m sure he will be fine.”
However Peko doesn’t say anything else. As they both watch intently, waiting for Fuyuhiko to be wheeled out, they remain entirely silent. From the corner of his eyes it’s clear that Peko isn’t breathing or even blinking. The glass must be one way otherwise there is no way the doctors would be able to avoid the pressure oozing off of her as she glares straight at them all.
It’s only when the door finally opens and the noise of the doctors and the bed clattering that she finally sucks in a breath. However, instead of rushing towards him, they both linger back. Giving them all space as they begin to lead him back into the patient room to join the others.
Only once they have made their entrance do Hajime and Peko follow behind. Arriving just in time to see them gently lift him back onto the bed - bandages wrapped tightly around his head tightly. Tugging the curtain around to shield the bed from Mikan and Nagito just like that.
But this time, once the doctors have fled, Peko hovers right by him instead of retreating to the couch. Hunching over his unconscious form as Hajime lingers back, trying to give them as much space as he can given the tight quarters of the patient room.
“H-How did it go?” Mikan mumbles as soon as the doctors disappear. Her hands knotted together as she sits up in bed. Craning her neck to try and get an idea of what happened while the three of them were gone from the room.
The curtain is still carefully pulled around Fuyuhiko's bed, hiding Peko and Fuyuhiko from view, but the curtain between Nagito and Mikan's beds has been pulled back. Both of them are neatly sat up, covers pooling around them and pillows propped up behind their backs to support them.
“He’s still asleep right now but, yeah; he’s going to be fine.” He says with complete certainty. It’s not like he’s even seen how they did it but he’s not going to admit that. If Fuyuhiko is looking generally okay then it can’t have been too bad.
“That’s good.” Nagito smiles but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. Something else bubbling just beneath the surface.
It’s only now that he looks around the empty room curiously, “Has anyone been around yet?”
Based on how Ibuki had basically been surgically attached to Mikan for the last few days he would have thought she would be sat here if nothing else. Sonia too. And yet there’s no one here except him and Peko and no one has any misgivings about who she’s here for.
“No, it’s just been us.” Nagito shrugs casually. Barely even giving it a second thought.
It sounds…lonely, and yet Nagito and Mikan are both happily smiling. At least they had each other he supposes. It’s not much but it’s better than nothing.
Wanting to give Peko and Fuyuhiko some space he shuffles further into the room, dropping onto the couch in front of Nagito and Mikan's beds. At once they both shuffle in slightly so they can fully face him, still sitting cross legged against the back of the beds.
“Have you tried using the TV’s yet?” He cranes his neck upright, examining the perfect looking screens hovering just above.
He’s not sure why he finds them so strange to look at, he’s seen plenty of TV’s in his time. But somehow seeing it here in a room like this feels…out of place. It’s just a patient room, it’s not like it needs amenities and yet this place looks about as nice as the rest of the building.
“Y-Yes…Fuyuhiko did try them last night but it was j-just static…” Mikan answers somberly. Wriggling where she sits as she continues wringing her hands.
He doubts anything that would be playing would be worth watching anyway. Probably just depressing new channels reporting on the chaos of the world. Even without Junko around stirring the pot things haven’t exactly been going well.
“They should have brought some books in here for you then.”
If they’re going to keep them in here for god knows how long then what’s the harm in bringing a little entertainment. In fact…maybe he should go and fetch some bits. In spite of everything he doesn’t actually know what kinds of book any of them like though. He could make some educated guesses but still…there isn’t much point in knowing that Nagito likes to read if he has no idea what genre he is even interested in.
Luckily, he never ends up getting that far though. Nagito wastes no time shaking his head and gesturing over to Mikan, “It’s okay. Mikan has just been telling me about all the types of medicine she likes.”
At once Mikan flushes, every inch of her skin glowing. Or at least every part that he can see. Her pupils widen dramatically, her eyes practically watering. Pleading with her eyes for dear life.
“N-no! I-It was s-so silly.” Her arms wave about manically, tears touching the edges of her eyes. You’d think she was being tortured instead of just conversing casually.
“It sounds interesting to me.” He shrugs casually, “Why don’t you tell me too?”
At those words her hands stop moving and she narrows her eyes. She does her best to try and read him, anxiously leaning forwards. Trying to figure out of this is some kind of trick or something no doubt, “B-But…”
Much to his relief Nagito is ready to jump in and support without missing a beat, “He’s asking to know, you know.”
With that, there’s nothing left for Mikan to argue against. Who is she to turn down their requests after all? While she doesn’t exactly look…enthused, her tears dissipate ever so slightly as she nods ever so slightly.
“I…I see…”
With that they both settle down, happy to listen to Mikan ramble for as long as she can. He’s not even aware of time passing as he listens. For once he allows himself to sit in the moment. He couldn’t care less about medicine - if anything he dislikes the thought of them - but hearing Mikan chattering is oddly calming. It’s a far cry from the girl that had sat on the roof top with him the other day and right now that’s all that matters. Even Peko says nothing from across the room. If she’s willing to talk then they’re willing to listen and that’s all that matters.
However the peaceful moment is never allowed to last. Why would it be? After a few hours of leaving them be, the door swings open without any warning. One of the doctors Hajime recognises from the operating room earlier steps in, walking past Peko and Fuyuhiko to examine everyone else with a cool expression. As they enter they wheel in a neat looking wheelchair. The black frame glimmers ominously in the bright lights of the room.
“Nagito Komaeda, it’s time for your surgery.”
While Hajime isn’t sure why they’d need a wheelchair of all things, he isn’t going to question it. Fuyuhiko had just been walked out, somehow seeing the wheelchair here just makes his mind spin more. That uncomfortable knot settling in his stomach once more.
“I see.” Nagito swallows deeply. His hands curl into fists, slipping nonchalantly under the covers as subtly as he can manage to.
However, even as the doctor draws closer, ready to help transfer him into the wheelchair, he doesn’t make any moves. The entire time Nagito just sits there as still as he physically can. Not even helping to pull back the covers.
“I’ll accompany him.” The offer slips out before he’s even considered what he’s saying. Who else would be accompanying Nagito though? Even just the thought of him going there completely alone makes his stomach churn. Its not like he'll even be aware, he’s going to be unconscious the entire time, and yet…
“Okay then.”
He follows closely behind the doctors as they begin wheeling Nagito out. Just like Peko had done earlier, he hovers as near to Nagito as he can, his hand in reach of the other boy just in case. As they begin to leave Nagito looks back at Mikan one last time, trying to offer her a feeble smile over his shoulder. And then she disappears from view as they step out into the hallway.
It must only be just barely over a meter between the patient room and the surgery room but somehow it suddenly feels like it’s never ending. Every step is a mountain to climb. The more they move, the faster Nagito’s breathing becomes. Even though he’s doing his best to keep his breathing as quiet as possible he can hear the awkward way his breaths catch in his throat each time. The thin raspy noise grating against his ears. Yet the doctors keep moving forwards, pushing him closer and closer to the sealed off room.
Before his brain has caught up with his body he is holding his arm out in front of the wheelchair, grinding them all to a stop right before they begin to enter the door. Gritting his teeth as he stands his ground.
“What do you -?” The doctors starts complaining incredulously but he completely ignores them.
He slowly steps into Nagito’s field of view and he crouches down so he’s eye level with the other boy, “Nagito. Nagito! Look at me.” He keeps his voice calm but speaks as sharply as he can. Thankfully after a few seconds Nagito lifts his head enough to meet Hajime’s gaze, “You’re having a panic attack. I’m going to help you, okay? Can you tell me three things you can see around you?”
It takes a few seconds but eventually he manages to stutter out words between wheezing breaths, “I-I can see…you…the…the wheelchair…and the d-doctors…”
“Good. Now tell me three things you can hear.”
Nagito’s eyes screw closed for a moment, his entire face crumpling. You can practically see the cogs turning inside his head as he tries to absorb the world around him. Thinking slowly.
“A clock…ticking….the wheelchair….your…your breathing…”
“Perfect. You can hear my breathing, right?” He waits patiently until Nagito gives him a wobbly nod, “Then try to copy my breathing.”
They both sit there, locked together and carefully breathing. Nagito’s eyes study him constantly but he only allows himself to focus on breathing steadily. In the background he can see the doctor watching them but he does his best to ignore her too. The last thing they need is to start thinking about her right now. At least she’s giving them space and not trying to get involved.
It takes a few minutes but eventually Nagito’s breaths start to steady. He’s still wobbling in the chair and taking shallow breaths but at least they’re relatively stable now. It’s not much but he’s going to take whatever he can get.
Keeping his voice as calm and steady as humanly possible he explains slowly, “The doctors needs to help take off that arm to keep you healthy. Fuyuhiko went in and came out fine. I’ll be just on the other side of this glass the entire time.” He points at the glass he’d been looking through just hours earlier with Fuyuhiko.
“But -”
He immediately holds his hand up. “No buts. You believe in me, right.” He commands sternly, leaving no wiggle room at all. Nothing he can worm his way out of.
“Of course.”
“If I’m saying its going to be okay then you know it’s true.” His eyes plead with Nagito, praying that part of Nagito that had idolised him and ultimates isn’t completely gone. Is it bad to try and manipulate his friend? Maybe. But right now he couldn’t care less. Anything will work to settle Nagito, “I’ll be right here when you wake up and I will step in and stop them if they do anything wrong.”
“Okay.”
He rests his hand on the arm rest, ready to push off and get back onto his feet. But before he can remove it, Nagito’s cold trembling hand reaches over, settling on top of his hand. Instead of saying anything he turns his hand over, letting it capture Nagito’s. Their fingers knit together perfectly. Somehow Nagito’s hand is both icy cold and slick with sweat but he doesn’t dare let go.
The doctor says nothing as they walk together into the surgery room and he’s never been more thankful. The entire time Nagito clasps onto his hand with all the strength he can muster. It strangely soothing to be holding Nagito’s hands for once. His mind keeps bracing, ready to feel Junko’s sharp nails digging into him like every other time but it never comes.
It’s only as the other doctors begin to appear, ready to lift Nagito onto the surgery table, that he lets go of Nagito’s hand. Pulling it free as tenderly as he can. For a few seconds Nagito still desperately tries to cling to him but then logic kicks in and he willingly lets his hand drop. However the doctor doesn’t even wait to let them part ways before she’s waving him out. Continuing to guide Nagito up onto the table without so much as a second look towards Hajime.
It’s only then as he watches the other doctors begin to crowd around as they continue to guide him away, that his mind seems to notice where he is. The scent of the room hitting him like a truck. The sanitised stench of chemicals pressing in on him from all sides.
While he doesn’t remember leaving the room, the next thing he knows he’s stood by the window, hands shaking. Watching from a distance as the needles begin to come out. Nagito’s still, small form laying perfectly motionless on the table as the doctors prepare the equipment they need. From out here he can no longer hear them but even so the sounds still somehow seem to reverberate through his skull.
As Nagito lays there, his head tilts towards the window. Eyes searching anxiously but always drifting straight past Hajime. His heart drops into his stomach for a moment as he remembers the one way glass. Nevertheless he still stands directly in front of the window the entire time that they are putting Nagito under. His head lolling as the light behind his eyes disappears and the doctors are crowding around and shielding him from view for good.
Only once then does Hajime feel his legs buckle under him. He hadn’t noticed his uneven breathing before but now the lightheadedness hits him all at once. Unlike before with Fuyuhiko, this time he can’t even support his weight by the window. Instead his legs trip over themselves as he stumbles back until his back hits the wall behind him. With his legs too weak to support his weight, he just has to let himself slide down the wall until he’s on the floor. The stiff, hard surface jolting through him, bringing a dull ache with it.
From this angle he can barely see into the room anymore but he can still make out the tops of the doctors heads as they glide about the room. Lost in their work. He tries not to let his mind wander to the doctors at all, keeping all his focus on Nagito. Settling down he prepares himself for the long haul.
At first he’s all alone, his eyes never once leaving the glass even though there is nothing to see. Flashes of Nagito and Fuyuhiko laying on the table refuse to leave him be but that does nothing to shake his resolve. However, after about twenty minutes pass the door to the corridor swings open and a small group of people shuffle through.
Ibuki is at the front, marching along with her long hair swishing from side to side. A splash of colour throughout the plain white corridor. Right behind her is Sonia and Kazuichi, their heads tilted together as they mutter something that he can’t make out. However, as soon as they catch sight of him they light up before his very eyes. Ibuki notices first, grinding to a halt so fast that Sonia and Kazuichi go slamming into her back, almost sending all three of them scattering to the floor.
Any annoyance is quickly forgotten though as they bound towards him, Sonia grinning ear to ear, “Hajime! You are here. We were looking for you.”
At that he has to swallow the lump in his throat. Forcing the best smile he can manage. “Oh, sorry. I was just keeping the others company.” He nods his head forwards towards the glass. Gradually making himself get up until he is standing eye level. The sight of the surgery room filling his peripheral vision.
Ibuki frowns, leaning forwards and peering through the glass. But as soon as she does she turns sheet white, twisting her head away as fast as she can, “Ah! Is that Nagito?!”
“Yeah, he’s in surgery right now.”
“Ibuki can’t imagine having people poking around in her like that.” She rubs her hands up and down her arms, forcing a dramatic shiver, “Ughhhh, goosebumps.”
“They didn’t have much choice.” He mutters under his breath, tilting his head down to try and hide his lips from the others. The memory of Nagito trying to cling to his hand still filling his mind making his throat close tighter and tighter as if trying to choke him.
Sonia gently nudges Ibuki and clears her throat. Standing up straighter than ever, “We will leave you in peace then. We were just coming to check on everyone.”
“Mikan, Peko, and Fuyuhiko are just in there. I’m sure they would appreciate the company.” He plasters the best smile he can onto his face as he says that.
Mikan might enjoy it, but he doesn’t want to know what Fuyuhiko and Peko will say if everyone comes traipsing in. That is if Fuyuhiko is even awake… While he doubts they’ll kick them out, he can already see the rolling eyes and grumpy expressions from all the way out here.
“Thanks, Hajimeeee! Time to bring some cheer and music!” Ibuki throws her arms up enthusiastically. Clearly no one ever told her this is far too much energy for a hospital.
He winces but waves them goodbye anyway. As long as it doesn’t interrupt the surgery it should be okay…right?
However, even as Ibuki and Sonia march off towards the patient room, Kazuichi remains where he us. Hovering near Hajime even though he hasn’t looked his way a single time. The only hint that he even realises Hajime is there is the twitch his legs gives off every time Hajime’s eyes pass over him.
For a few minutes they stay that way; Kazuichi stood to the side, staring down at the ground, and Hajime waiting patiently. Eventually he simply gives up, sliding back down onto the floor once more as his legs begin to buckle under him once more. The rush of blood thundering in his head even as he sits down.
Time seems to have become entirely incomprehensible, it could be seconds or it could be minutes that they’re stood like that. Only when Kazuichi finally begins to shimmy over towards him - plopping himself down on the floor beside Hajime - that time finally starts to tick once more. Their breaths hovering in the enclosed space that is the hallway.
Was it always this cramped and tiny?
“They’re taking off the arm right?” Kazuichi mumbles, looking over at Hajime cautiously. Biting down hard on his lip until a tiny bead of pink begins to hover there once more.
“Yeah. It’s too dangerous to keep on any longer.”
Whistling, Kazuichi leans back, doing his best to avoid looking at the window ahead of them. It seems he has chosen Hajime to be his distraction from the surgery, “Sounds about right… It’s crazy to think that it’s been on that long.”
“Yeah. It’s a miracle all three of them have been okay so far.”
“I’m really glad I never ended up chopping off any of my body now.”
“What, you don’t want to be a peg legged pirate or something?” He chuffs and rolls his eyes. For a moment he could almost imagine the ghost of a smile reaching his lips but it never comes.
“No… Ugh, can you imagine?”
He doesn’t think he wants to imagine. Any one of them could have been crazy enough to start doing this sort of stuff. In a way they should be glad it was just Mikan, Fuyuhiko, and Nagito that actually committed. He doesn’t want to think about what other parts they could have scavenged from the body if they really tried.
“What are they going to do? Their bodies are going to be wrecked…” Hajime sighs, dropping his head between his legs and massaging his temples slowly.
He’d thought sitting here like this would make the feeling face but as he lowers his head the pulsating in his skull only gets stronger. His skull itching painfully but of course there is nothing he can do to ease the sensation. Nothing is ever going to chase those images or thoughts out of his mind now. Another thing they can go and blame on Junko.
“I was actually thinking about that…” Kazuichi mumbles, keeping his voice as quiet as possible as if he thinks Sonia or the others are going to try and eavesdrop in.
Frowning, Hajime can’t help but sit up slightly. Trying to read Kazuichi’s expression, “You were?”
“I was thinking I should make Nagito a prosthetic or something. I can’t really do anything to help Mikan or Fuyuhiko, but Nagito…Nagito I can help.” The last words are spoken with a stern confidence which seem strange rolling off of Kazuichi. If there was anything he could do though it would be this.
“I think that’s a good idea. Let me know if you need any help with any of it.”
“Thanks…I will do.”
Even though they can hear Ibuki and Sonia’s muffled chattering from out here, Kazuichi never moves an inch. The entire time that Nagito is in surgery he stays plastered to Hajime’s side. He knows he should send Kazuichi away, he shouldn’t have to stay here keeping Hajime company, but he never says a word. And if that makes him selfish then he doesn’t care. At least not right now anyway.
Chapter 21: 15th of May
Summary:
With two surgeries down there is only one remaining.
Chapter Text
15/05 - 08:25
He slowly drifts into consciousness, his neck aching from the awkward way he’s laying. Yawning deeply, he stretches out. Arms clicking loudly as he does so. It’s like his entire body has been pulled through the ringer, every joint and muscle burning and tense.
It’s only when he opens his eyes that he remembers where he even is - everything hitting him all at once like a tonne of bricks. Instead of being wrapped up in his own bed he’s propped up in one of the dining chairs. He hasn’t even changed out of his clothes from yesterday. He can already tell he's starting to smell but he's beyond caring right now.
In front of him lays Nagito, his hair rumpled and his skin tinged slightly grey. His eyes are still closed but Hajime can see his eyes flitting about underneath his eyelids. With the covers tucked up around him, the stump and bandages are completely hidden. If he didn’t know better he would never know there was anything wrong with him at all.
He doesn’t remember when he fell asleep last night but the entire room is still and silent now. There’s no sign of Sonia, Kazuichi, or Ibuki. Leaning back he peers past the curtain only to see an empty bed where Fuyuhiko and Peko had once been. It seems they really did flee without a word. Part of him feels like he should be frustrated but instead he just yawns at the sight.
They had never bothered pulling back the curtain between Mikan and Nagito’s bed so he has a clear view of the woman from where he sits. She’s curled up on her side, twitching in her sleep. The covers must have been pulled up around her at some point but now they’re bunched together in a pile on the floor beside her.
Last night, after returning with Nagito from the surgery room, he had found Sonia and Ibuki sat on Mikan’s bed. The three of them chatting together and eating a selection of snack that he hadn’t even noticed them bringing in earlier. Fuyuhiko had finally been awake but his curtain was still tightly drawn. His ever present guard standing watch at the foot of the bed.
And yet now they’re no where to be seen.
Rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand he gets up out of the chair and stretches out properly. Why didn’t he just sleep on the damn couch? Why did he have to sleep in the chair of all things? And yet, although his entire body is screaming, his mind feels oddly still. There’s no lingering panic. No tiredness clinging to him. He feels….rested.
Frowning he peers over at the clock, trying to gauge some sense of whats going on. Much to his surprise it’s not the middle of the night. 08:30 am. How the hell had he slept in this late?!
His first instinct is to jump forward as if he need to rush of somewhere but he stops himself. What’s the point? It’s not like he does need to do anything. He could just sit here for the rest of time and it would be about as useful as anything else he could be doing.
Instead, he slinks back to his chair and leans back. Grabbing the book he had been reading from the bed side table next to Nagito. It’s not anything revolutionary, a murder mystery book of all things, but at least it passes the time as he waits around for something to happen.
Sighing to himself, he props his legs up near the foot of Nagito’s bed. Doing his best to make sure he stays well clear of Nagito, giving him all the space he needs. The last thing he needs is to start kicking the recovering boy.
Hours pass as he sits there, slowly leafing through his book. His reading is accompanied by the gentle ticking of the clock overhead. An orchestra playing alongside him. The only other sound is the soft rustling of Mikan and Nagito as the twist and turn in their beds.
Only when his stomach starts grumbling does he even consider getting up and leaving the room. Part of him doesn’t want to leave just in case they come in for Mikan while he’s gone but he knows that’s illogical. He needs food and Nagito will undoubtedly need some when he wakes up too. Leaving now when they’re still asleep and won’t even notice he’s left is best.
Stretching out and book marking his page he begins the short trek over to the communal area. As he leaves the patient room he closes the door as quietly as possible, letting it gently click closed.
However as he steps out into the corridor he starts seeing more and more activity. There aren’t many doctors all things considered but compared to the stillness of the other room it might as well be a whole damned party out here. They’re all bustling about the place, entering and leaving the surgery room as they prep equipment. Not one of them even glance his way, all solely focused on their job as they glide about with ease.
He does his best to stay out of their way, trying to avoid probing curiously. This isn’t the time for him to be getting sucked into investigating. They’re just setting up to get ready for Mikan…
And yet and as he makes his way over to the communal area, he digs his nails into the heel of his hand. A constant reminder of what he is supposed to be doing. Dull pain sending a fresh spike of adrenaline running right through him. Not wanting to waste any time he begins grabbing a few snacks at random. Mostly bits of fruit and other easy things to carry.
However before he can finish and leave the room a soft coughing catches his attention, “Did ya sleep well Haji?!”
Ibuki is leaning against the door frame, her hair neatly pulled back into two pigtails. She’s grinning ear to ear, mischief sparkling in her eyes. Her clothes are slightly rumpled and creased but she manages to pull it off better than she should.
“Haji?” He arches an eyebrow and folds his arms. The nickname doesn’t even sound good. Can’t she come up with anything better than that?
“Yeppers! You looked so tired that we didn’t want to wake you!”
“Thanks. I slept very well surprisingly.” He clears his throat awkwardly, “Did you see where Fuyuhiko and Peko went?”
“Ughhhh yeah…” She rolls her eyes dramatically and walks over to his side, leaning over to examine his chosen food, “The doctor came in while you were asleep. We thought they were coming for Mikan but noooooo. They just told Fuyuhiko that he could crash out in his room.”
“Hmmm, makes sense. It’s not like it’s far to go anyway in case something did come up.” It’s not like a real hospital where help could be miles away when it’s needed. Regardless of whether they’re in their rooms or in the patient room they’re still barely a minute away from the doctors at any time. Why not let Fuyuhiko recover in peace away from the loud chattering of people in the patient room? Maybe this way Peko will actually be able to get some rest.
“But it makes Ibuki so mad! They sent Fuyuhiko and Peko back but still Mikan is waiting still!” Ibuki growls.
As she does so she grabs a banana Hajime had put in the pile and crushes it in her fist just like that. She doesn’t even blink or give it a second look. For a moment he wonders if she’s even aware of what she’s doing.
“Well it looked like they were preparing the surgery room as I came over here.”
Her grip on the banana falters for a moment as she drops the skin back onto the counter, “I see…”
Without looking back she shoves her hands in her pockets and begins leaving the communal area just like that. Abandoning Hajime with all the food. She might as well be marching due to the ferocity with which she moves.
“If you’re heading over then why don’t you help me carry this stuff.” He calls after her desperately, waving his hands over the stack he has laying on the counter. The crushed banana skin now sitting atop it all.
Thankfully she grinds to a halt and turns back around grinning. At least she doesn’t need to be asked twice before she’s skipping over to Hajime's side, “Okie dokie!”
Together they organise the snacks between the two of them, carefully stacking everything up. Is this too much? Maybe. But Nagito hasn’t eaten in a day - maybe more now - so the more the better. Besides, who knows how long they’re going to keep him in there. Perhaps it will be like Fuyuhiko and he’ll be sent home before the day is over but if that was the case then why wouldn’t he have been sent back with Fuyuhiko earlier. Better to be safe than sorry.
As they walk along he cautiously turns to Ibuki, “Did you see Nagito wake up while I was asleep?”
Considering how long its been since he was put to sleep it’s somewhat worrying that he’s not woken up yet. Fuyuhiko had woken up at some point during Nagito’s surgery and yet Nagito is still sound asleep.
Much to his relief Ibuki replies, “Yep! Nagito was awake for a bit but he didn’t really talk much. Ibuki and Sonia tried to get him to talk but he was being uber boringgggg.”
“Hmmmm…”
At least he knows it’s just normal sleeping now then. It does make him wonder what time Mikan and Nagito ended up going to sleep though. How long were they sat there watching him sleeping in his chair? He’s starting to wish they had woken him up after all. Warmth beginning to build on his cheeks.
“Are you worried about him?” Ibuki cocks her head to one side as she readjusts the snacks in her arms.
He casually shrugs, “A bit I guess. He’s Nagito though, he’ll be fine.”
At this point its hard not to worry about everyone. After everything it is just a natural response. But this is Nagito they’re talking about, ultimate luck is a powerful thing. Things are always going to end up okay for him. At least he hopes so.
“That’s true. He gives me the shivers sometimes though.”
He almost chuckles at that, “You wouldn’t be the first.”
He half wonders what Nagito would say about that. For a normal person he would assume they have to already know but with Nagito nothing is ever clear.
As they get closer and closer they both duck their heads low. However, just like before, the doctors drift past them as if they don’t even see the pair. In a way he’s almost impressed by their focus. Thankfully it means they don’t say anything as he walks past with food this time. The silver lining in all of this.
Only when they’re back in the patient room with the door firmly closed behind them does Ibuki rush forward, chucking all the food on the couch as she runs past. Without even waiting for Hajime to catch up, she launches herself onto Mikan’s bed, shaking the girl awake.
“Mikannnn! We brought you snacks!”
Running as fast as he can he abandons his stuff on the couch with Ibuki’s, biting on the inside of his cheek. As Mikan starts sitting up he rushes over to Ibuki and grabs her sleeve, “Ibuki, she can’t eat.”
Eyes wide Ibuki turns to face him. Her incredulous look cuts into him.
“Whaaaaat? Why not?”
“I-I have s-surgery…I can’t eat before the surgery…” Mikan steps in to explain. Even as she does so she rubs her eyes with both hands, yawning the entire time.
To his knowledge a good six hours of fasting is needed before going in to surgery so it’s not worth the risk of eating now. Not when it seems like they could come in to collect her at any second. All that would do is delay her possibly life saving surgery by another six hours.
Although she does her best to smile, he doesn’t miss the longing gaze she throws towards the food. Her stomach already grumbling loudly.
Ibuki rests a hand on her arm, doing her best to comfort the woman, “Oh, well I will save them for after the surgery then! You can’t miss out on the yumminess.”
“Thanks…”
Despite how both his and Ibuki’s stomachs growl, neither of them dare to make any moves towards the food. Knowing Mikan she wouldn’t mind that they were eating, but it feels needlessly cruel anyway. He resolves to just eat when Mikan is taken away. It’s not like he can’t hold on for a bit longer.
Instead they stay occupied by using Hajime like their own personal audio book. He had tried to just settle down and do some quiet reading but he should have known that wouldn’t be an option with Ibuki around. There had been no choice when she demanded he go back to the beginning to read out the book to them both.
Normally reading the same thing over again is far too boring but with the additional commentary from Mikan and Ibuki it’s surprisingly refreshing. He has to hold himself back from correcting all their incorrect assumptions about the mystery though. He probably shouldn’t be surprised about their bewilderment though since he’s seen how they were in the Neo World Program. Nothing compares when you’ve actually had first hand experience.
Unfortunately they never end up getting far enough into the book to reach the interesting parts. They’re barely five chapters in before the door is swinging open and the familiar doctor strolls in. Once again she has a wheel chair with her, her lips pressed tightly together.
“Mikan Tsumiki. Are you ready?”
Just those words alone are enough to send Mikan into a state. Her shivers are violent enough that even the bed underneath her is rocking back and forth. Poor Ibuki is forced to reach out to stabilise her.
“Y-Yes…” Her teeth chatter, small tears bundling up in the corners of her eyes.
As the doctor approaches, she pulls the wheelchair up to the side of the bed. The entire time she doesn’t even give Ibuki a second look. Instead she’s focused on Hajime. Practically looking down her nose at him.
“Will you be accompanying her too?” She nods over at Nagito.
He hadn’t even considered it until this exact moment. The mere thought of that sends a shiver of shame down him. How could he not have even considered it?
However before he gets a chance to agree Ibuki has darted in. She doesn’t allow any room for doubt as she speaks. Only absolute determination, “I’m gonna be with Mikan.”
“Are you s-sure?”
“Of course! I’m your friend after all!” Her hands rest either side of her hips, striking a power pose. She holds her head high and closes her eyes. Confidence radiating off of every inch of her.
“T-Thanks…” Even though Mikan’s smiling, tears fill her eyes. For once it he completely understands though.
Seeing them together like this sends a warmth shooting through him. But even in spite of that, seeing this room so empty feels…wrong. After the birthday party they had held it’s strange to have no one here for their friends. As nice as it is having Ibuki here, it will never fully make up the the rest of the lingering emptiness.
At least no one had to force her to be here. She just wants to be supporting her friend. After everything Mikan deserves that if nothing else.
“I’ll keep an eye on Nagito while you’re gone. Come and grab me if you need anything though.” He gives them both a thumbs up.
As much as Ibuki would enjoy the company, someone should probably be here for Nagito. After how he reacted going into the surgery it would feel wrong not to, especially since he wasn’t even awake when Nagito did wake up. It’s time he made it up to the other boy.
“Okie dokie.”
The doctor coughs, looking between each of them as if she’s just waiting for them to shut up. She wriggles the wheelchair even closer, trying to jostle Mikan along.
“Come on then. Would you like hel-?”
Mikan doesn’t even let her finish her sentence though, “No.” She snaps without a second thought before suddenly flushing pink, “N-No, I’ll be o-okay…”
Despite her resolve to handle it alone, Ibuki ends up taking her hand. She supports Mikan as the woman shifts from the bed into the wheelchair. The second she makes contact with the frame she tenses but her breathing remains relatively stable. At least when compared to Nagito.
Seeing Ibuki stuck to Mikan’s side as the doctor begins wheeling her out fills him with a sense of déjà vu. All he can see is himself and Nagito sat there again. But then they are wheeled away and the door closes behind them, leaving just him and Nagito behind.
~~~
15/05 - 12:23
“Izuru…?” The muffled words snap him to attention.
Over an hour had passed since Mikan and Ibuki left but still the room was empty and quiet. Given how long the surgeries of Nagito and Fuyuhiko had taken he keeps expecting the door to open and for Mikan to come rolling in but still there’s no one. It’s been so quiet that even the sound of Nagito speaking is able to catch him off guard.
“Ah! You’re awake.”
“How long was I asleep for?” Nagito asks blearily.
He’s still yawning, pulling the covers tighter around himself. His eyes are barely even open, only just cracked open to let the bare minimum amount of light in. With his hair flopping over his face and his constant yawning he looks surprisingly innocent. Not a word he thought he would ever be pairing with Nagito.
“Umm…I’m not too sure. I didn’t see when you fell asleep but it’s midday now.” He points up at the clock as if Nagito is going to assume he’s lying or something.
Thankfully that’s enough to make Nagito widen his eyes though. Perhaps he wasn’t up as late as Hajime had been expecting then, “I guess I was just very tired.” He frowns, his jaw tense and stiff.
“Probably. Your body has been through a lot in a short period of time.” They say that your body heals when you’re sleeping so if anyone would need copious amounts of sleep it would be Nagito. What’s the harm in a little more rest when you’re fixing an entire arm?
Slowly Nagito sits up, keeping the cover pulled up over him as much as possible. His arm still hidden away for now. Every breath laboured and slow but his shoulders are loose and relaxed which he’s going to take as a win. They need every win they can get now.
Now he’s sat up he begins to look around the room, studying all the empty beds that now surround them, “Where are the others?”
“Fuyuhiko and Peko went back to their rooms, and Mikan and Ibuki left for surgery.”
For a second Nagito tenses but he relaxes again so quickly that he could almost pretend he was imagining it. A smile falls back onto his lips like nothing had ever happened, “Hopefully it all goes well.”
“Of course it will.” He nods decisively before quietly giving Nagito a once over.
Nagiti looks fine. No, more than fine, he looks better. But without being inside the other boys head it’s hard to be sure, “How do you feel?”
“I feel fine. It’s nice to have the arm gone.”
For the shortest moment his eyes dart over towards where the missing arm would be. Only the hint of bandages are visible peeking over the edge of the covers.
He can only imagine how much better it feels to not have rotting flesh clinging onto him. He has no idea how they three of them were able to do it for so long. He can barely stand even touching the stuff, let alone having it grafted onto him.
“You can say that again.”
Nagito pauses, rolling his shoulder experimentally. The movement causes the covers to fall ever so slightly revealing a few more of the bandages. When you can’t see the stumps it’s easy to pretend he’s just covering stitches and not an entire missing limb but they both know better than that.
“After all this time it feels strange to not have it though.”
Cautiously he leans forward, making sure every movement is slow and clearly advertised, “Can I see the arm?” He asks as tentatively as he can. Given the way Nagito is hiding away the arm he probably shouldn’t have even asked but if he doesn’t ask then he’ll never know what Nagito would have said.
After a few seconds silence Nagito chokes out a single word, “Sure.”
Moving slowly and deliberately, he carefully lifts his arm out from under the covers. They fall away with ease and only the bandaged arm is left. Up until his elbow everything is completely fine. However a few centimeters away from the elbow the bandages stop as the arm suddenly disappears. In a way he supposes they should be glad it was just the forearm that’s missing. It’s lucky this much of the arm is still perfectly functional.
Nagito slowly rotates his arm, bringing it closer and closer to Hajime. It’s not like he can take off the bandages to examine the doctors handiwork but at least the bandages seem to be holding up well. There’s no hint of blood marking the fabric at all. Just pure pristine whiteness all over.
“Does it look okay?”
He clears his throat and leans back, giving the arm some space, “Yes. They did a good job.”
“That’s a relief.” Nagito smiles, scrunching his eyes closed and sticking his arm back under the covers without a second thought. Shivering as he does so.
Jumping up from his chair he shuffles over to the couch and gestures to the pile of food he and Ibuki had brought over. He had eaten a few bit while he was waiting but there is still a full banquet of things to choose from left, “I brought some food. It’s been ages since you had anything so take your pick.”
“Thank you.”
They sit in silence, slowly working through the food. For the first few minutes Nagito keeps moving his stump forward, ready to pick up food with his missing hand, but bit by bit he does it less and less. Every time he does so his smile wavers ever so slightly.
He chooses not to say a thing as Nagito turns his head, trying to cover up the tears that are slowly creeping down his cheek. Silence swelling around them.
Chapter 22: 16th of May
Summary:
Ibuki has a big plan she wants to put into action.
Chapter Text
16/05 - 04:08
Grumbling to himself, he readjusts the box he’s carrying, shifting the weight over a little. For a box that contains a bunch of paper and office supplies it is surprisingly heavy. The sooner he can get back to Ibuki’s room and put it down the better. He’s starting to wish they had some handles on this damn thing.
His footsteps echo as he walks down the empty halls. Every sound magnified over and over. In the back of his mind he knows that Mikan and Nagito won’t be able to hear them from all the way over here but he still winces with each one.
Even now he wishes he could still be back with Mikan and Nagito in the other room. If he was he wouldn’t be lugging all this around. One of the days he’ll learn to not get involved in Ibuki’s plans. One day…
She had recruited him as soon as Mikan and Nagito had drifted to sleep. Without any warning she had dragged him out and demanded he assist her with setting up a recovery party. Apparently they still haven’t learnt their lesson from the last three parties they’ve had. Is it even possible for parties to work out? They might just be cursed at this point. Nevertheless here he is grabbing all of her supplies. Forever at her beck and call.
He’s not sure if she just wanted to keep it more low-key this time or if she wanted it to be a surprise for everyone but she had only recruited Byakuya and Hajime into her schemes this time. The three of them working all alone. And of course he is the one charged with all the manual labour and heavy lifting. A misuse of his skills if you ask him but of course no one did.
In spite of everything, he does his best to force a positive expression as he finally arrives at the communal area. It’s a good thing that it’s early enough in the morning that no one else is awake and around because there is no sneaking in this state.
Stumbling the last few steps, he throws himself into Ibuki’s room. As he steps in she’s still sat cross legged on the floor, Byakuya at her side. They’re both looking in a large cardboard box and fiddling with something that he can’t see from this angle.
“I’ve got the stuff.” He grumbles and gently sets the box next to Ibuki. Even then she doesn’t look up from whatever her and Byakuya have found, “What are you doing?”
Only then does Ibuki finally tears her eyes away, flailing excitedly and point into the box, “Look what I found!”
“What is it?” He moves forward cautiously, ready to flee at the drop of a hat.
Thankfully he never needs to though. Instead of being some horrific creation it’s just a small metal box. It looks a little rough, small dents and scratches on the once smooth black surface, but other than that it looks decently well put together. Just well aged. He doesn’t need Ibuki here to tell him exactly what it is.
“It’s a speaker! Ibuki doesn’t have instruments here but with this we can have still have music!” She claps excitedly, her eyes sparkling the entire time.
“If we are having a party then it is a necessity.” Byakuya is as stern as ever but even though they’re not actively smiling, Hajime can hear the grin in their words.
“Where is the music going to come from though?”
Apparently this was a stupid question to even ask. He should have known that Ibuki would already have a plan for this. While there are something she can’t help but drop the ball on, music certainly isn’t one of those things.
“There were CD’s upon CD’s upon CD’s down there! Ibuki much prefer the natural vibrations of proper live music but music is still music. When stranded in a place like this we need to find whatever we can!” Her hands dramatically fly about as she explains. Poor Byakuya is left to just elegantly dodge out of the way of her hands to avoid being smacked in the face.
Part of him wants to disagree but for once he can’t. It would be nice to hear something. Anything. Perhaps this will set a better tone for the party than they’ve had for the last few…
“It sounds like a good plan.”
“Yayyy!”
“What are you going to do with all this then?” He asks as she nudges the box he had carried all the way here with the side of his foot.
She had sent him on his merry way without giving any room for questions. Even if he had tried, he doubts Ibuki would have given him anything to work with. Based on the last party he had assumed it would be for decorations but that’s not exactly a specific category. With Ibuki at the helm it could go any number of ways.
And yet the answer she gives still catches him off guard,
“We need to make invites of course!”
Even Byakuya frowns, crossing their arms, “What’s wrong with just telling everyone. It would be much faster.”
“Faster schmaster.” She rolls her eyes and huffs, “If it’s a party we have to do it properly!”
He can’t believed he lugged all this over just for some invites! She couldn’t have just asked him to bring a few sheets? She needed to ask for an entire stash.
It’s Ibuki, you can’t be mad. It’s Ibuki, you can’t be mad. He repeats the chant over and over in his head.
Retraining himself he simply sighs, forcibly keeping himself under tight control, “Shouldn’t we have the party stuff ready before we do invites?”
“We’re gonna make the invitations now then give them out when everything is ready.”
“Okay, okay.”
Both him and Byakuya sigh, relenting to her without a fight. This is her idea, they might as well follow along with her vision for the party. Besides, it’s not like it really matters.
Sufficiently worn down they both help her set up and invite making station. Pencils are scattered all about the room and paper shreds end up literally everywhere but she’s grinning and laughing the entire time. Neither of them fully understand her vision but they do their best to follow her instructions.
Although they come out looking like a mess with random scraps of paper glued all over the front and a chaotic mess of colours scribbled everywhere, Ibuki holds them up lovingly as if they were the most beautiful things in the world. Who are they to tell her otherwise? They do their best to replicate the design for all twelve of the invitations but each one still manages to look wholly individual.
It’s only when they’re all finished and neatly set out in a line that Ibuki finally steps back and nods happily. All in a days work.
“They’re perfect! Everyone is going to love them.” She practically squeals, examining each one in turn. Through all the chaos it’s hard to even make out what is said on each one but hopefully it will work well enough.
“So are we setting up the party now?” He rubs his hands together.
The longer they sit here, the more time passes. And the more time passes, the longer Mikan and Nagito are alone in the patient room. At least they have each other for company but he can’t shake the feeling that he’s abandoned them somehow. What are they going to think when they wake up and find Ibuki and Hajime no where to be seen.
Much to his relief Ibuki grins, “Yep!”
“We were discussing this and we want to set up the party outside.” Byakuya patiently explains.
“Outside?”
He hadn’t even considered that they could to that. It would make sense, they have access to the whole building and presumably that would include the front door. It’s not like they need to stay inside all the time. And yet the thought of actually going out sends a chill down his spine. It’s shouldn’t be different to going out on the roof so why does it feel so different?
“Yep! Everyone needs to go outside and see something different. Being cooped up is driving Ibuki crazy. If we can find some fireworks then we could make it a proper party.”
He almost wants to laugh at the mere thought. Fireworks?! How long would it take the Future Foundation to find them if they started shooting bright fireworks all over the skies? He can only imagine what Naegi and the others would say if they found out that they gave away their location by partying too hard.
He scratches the back of his neck as he carefully explains, “We won’t find fireworks but I guess going outside could be a good idea…”
Apparently that’s all Ibuki needs. Without another word she’s jumping up, energy oozing off every inch of her body. There’s nothing Byakuya and him can do except follow her as she marches them downstairs. Of course not before loading themselves up with the string lights, boxes of food and the speaker. Thankfully this time it isn’t just him though. Although he does end up with more to carry both Byakuya and Ibuki also help out, carrying anything left over.
He lets Ibuki lead the way, traipsing behind her like a diligent little steward. His entire body is stiff and ridged, preparing for whatever they are going to find downstairs. Even when they’d first arrived here he never did get a good look at the other floors of the building. Naegi and the others had simply marched them through the building towards the staircase, never giving them space to breathe or examine their surroundings. He shouldn’t be surprised to see the floor is just as dull and boring as their floor though.
Ibuki clearly already knows the place like the back of her hand, swiftly moving down the halls until they find themselves at yet another kitchen. Things are still littered around the kitchen; pans on the drying rack, mugs left on the counter, a packet of rice open next to the oven. Everything left as if someone was expecting to come back. He can’t help but wonder if this is where Naegi and the others had been staying before they had to leave suddenly.
“Here, we can do the cooking and preparations down here.” She chuffs, holding her head up high. Pride seeps from her every expression.
“That is a good idea…the others won’t accidentally walk in on us cooking.” Byakuya hums, setting the box of food they were carrying onto the counter.
Although he’s hearing ‘we’ in relation to the cooking, he gets the distinct feeling that it won’t end up that way. Maybe he needs to start dragging Teruteru out of his room so they will start leaving him alone when it comes to food.
In spite of his annoyance he doesn’t make a complaint when Ibuki starts shoving food his arms. At least they both help him out which is something at least… He’s not sure how useful their help actually is but it’s better than nothing he supposes. Only when all the food is ready, either set up on the counter or hidden away in the fridge, do they start heading outside to examine the location of the party.
Somehow being out here on the ground floor feels entirely different to being up on the roof. Instead of being up high, separated from the rest of the world, they’re right in the midst of everything. Sure, the building might still be isolated on this island but it feels fast less distant than it did before.
The towering headquarters for the future foundation is shines through the darkness and fog that hangs over the water. The bright lights from the tower illuminating it despite the thickness of the night. He can’t help but feel like the future foundation is staring right at him. The wrong person looking this way at the wrong time could be the end of them.
“This is perfect!” Ibuki sighs, her hands on her hips as she stares out across the water.
Is she seeing an entirely different scene to him? Sometimes its hard to tell if he’s the one being weird or if he’s just the only one with any sense around here. Or maybe he’s just completely overthinking everything. It wouldn’t be the first time.
Byakuya hums, his hand rubbing his chin soothingly, “Hmm…it is a little gloomy.”
“Gloomy is one way to describe it.”
“When we put up the lights it will look perfect.” She speaks with absolute certainty.
Her hands wave dreamily at the front of the building, picturing how it will all look in her minds eye. He can’t see what difference a few fairy lights will make but he’s not the one with the plan here. Both him and Byakuya help her drag out some furniture and the fairy lights as they crack on with work. They leave Ibuki to string up the lights as they try to arrange tables and chairs. It sounds like an easy job but Ibuki immediately vetos all their set ups. Nothing is ever ‘party-esque’ enough for her.
And then it happens.
He sees it all happening as if in slow motion. The chair starts to wobble. Legs slowly coming up off the ground as she leans forward. But in spite of the shifting, Ibuki hasn’t notice though. No instead she is still reaching up. The light’s shaking as she tries to string them around the door frame. Her entire face is contorted as she stretches further and further.
And then she falls.
He doesn’t need to think before he’s moving. Within a second he’s at her side. Before she can hit the ground he grabs onto her. Without having enough time to fully think about his actions he simply grabs whatever he can reach. One hand rests on the back of her neck as the other one cushions her body as she falls onto him.
For a few second she’s entirely frozen. Her body as still and stiff as a board. And then he hears her breath hitch as she throws herself as far away from him as humanly possible. Both her hands jump up to her neck, scratching at it desperately.
“H-ha…T-thanks Haji…” She tries to speak but her words come out breathy and stilted. Even as she speaks she keeps backing further and further away.
“Are you okay Ibuki?”
“O-Of course. I’m always doing amazing.” She tries to hold her head up high but it isn’t as convincing when she’s carefully guarding her neck with her hands. Even her laughter sounds scratchy and out of character.
Dropping everything Byakuya runs over to both of them, their brow furrowed and concern written across their face in bold. However the closer they gets, the more Ibuki backs away. Her wobbly smile does nothing to hide what’s really happening. Not when she’s practically tripping over her own feet.
Unable to get any closer, Byakuya slowly comes to a stop next to Hajime. Neither of them dare to even try and close the distance. Not when she’s like this. She might not be saying anything but her body language might as well be screaming.
“That was a close call.” Byakuya tries to soften their face as much as possible but it doesn’t seem to make any difference to anything.
“Y-Yep.” She forces another chuckle, her shoulders stiffening with every movement, “Oh yeah! I need to grab some more cups for people to use! Ibuki will run as fast as her legs can to get back here quickly!”
She doesn’t give either of them a chance to speak before she’s running off. When she said ‘as fast as her legs can’ she certainly wasn’t lying. She runs right past them both at top speed, almost slamming into the front door as she tries to barge back into the building. As she runs by he can just about catch sight of the way her eyes glisten. Tears slowly drowning them.
It takes everything he has to stop himself from running after her. No matter his intentions it will only make things worse if he goes after her now. Space is what she needs.
“Is she -” Byakuya whispers, keeping their voice as low as possible, as if Ibuki is somehow going to overhear them.
“I think so…”
Neither of them say a thing to Ibuki when she comes back smiling even brighter than before. You could almost be fooled into thinking he imagined the entire interaction. Her eyes aren’t even red. She looks exactly the same as every. Grinning. Bright. Sparkling. Just Ibuki.
And yet she still finds the first opportunity to disappear again, constantly leaving to fetch more food or drinks or plates. Anything and everything. Him and Byakuya are trapped. Stuck between a rock and a hard place.
It’s a relief when Ibuki finally decides everything is ready and they can start handing out invitations ready for the morning. Before either of them get to add their own input she has called ‘dibs’ on giving the invitations to Mikan and Nagito. That leave Hajime and Byakuya to do their rounds around the different rooms. Part of him wants to argue - after spending so long in the patient room with the two of them leaving them to Ibuki now feels wrong but he holds his tongue. Fear of making a wrong step coursing through him.
Instead they loyally follow her instructions, sliding an invitation under every doorway. They each take one half of the hallway, splitting the work as evenly as they can. For a moment he considers knocking to ensure everyone actually sees the damn things but if anyone is actually managing to get some rest then he probably shouldn’t interrupt that. There is still an hour left until the party according to the invite after all. He’s starting to regret letting Ibuki set up all the food outside already…
When he comes to Mahiru’s door he freezes. The invitation hangs loosely in his hand. He can’t bring himself to move his hand. It’s not hard to know what the logical choice would be. There isn’t even a question. And yet as he hears Byakuya pattering behind him he bends down and slides the invitation under.
They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different result. He supposes he’s just going to have to wait and find out for himself.
~~~
16/05 - 11:23
“Where are Fuyuhiko, Mikan, and Nagito?” Sonia mutters, tapping her glass on the table dramatically.
It has been twenty minutes and the guests of honour were still no where to be seen. Byakuya and Hajime had come back down before everyone else to keep an eye on lights and food while they waited but they haven’t seen hide or hair of Ibuki or the others she was supposed to be fetching. He’d have thought she would be the first one here and yet…
As the time drew nearer and nearer, more people showed up. There was no surprise when Sonia showed up first - that wasn’t even a question. Nekomaru and Akane showing up right after had been a little more surprising though. He supposes Nekomaru is able to keep her somewhat punctual.
It had taken longer still for Kazuichi and Gundham to show up and much to his surprise the two men had showed up together a few minutes after the party was meant to start. They’re lucky Ibuki wasn’t here on time to give them a proper lashing.
Of course, Teruteru, Mahiru, and Hiyoko were still no where to be seen and he suspects they will never show up. The same seems to be true of Fuyuhiko and Peko at this point. Probably for the best… he mutters to himself.
“They’ll be here.” As Nekomaru hums he takes a bite of the food on his plate. Under normal circumstances he would be pulling the plate away immediately but at this point they might as well. If Ibuki has a problem with it then she needs to come out here and do something about it. The guests of honour might be missing but how long does she expect them to wait?
“If they do not have a satisfactory reason for keeping Gundham Tanaka, the supreme overlord of ice, waiting then we shall cast them into damnation.” Gundham grumbles. His arms are crossed and his jaw is tensed but instead of glaring at them or the main building he’s staring off at the ocean. Not even deigning to look their way.
Sighing to himself he stands up, tapping his foot on the ground. “Look, I’m going to go and check on them.” He can feel his sigh vibrate through his entire body.
Sonia jumps up next to him, “You do not have to do that!”
“It isn’t like Ibuki to show up late, especially when she organised this whole thing. Maybe something is going on.”
“That might be for the best.” Byakuya nods approvingly, “Would you like us to accompany you?”
“No, it’ll be faster and easier alone. Just start enjoying the food - it’s better than letting it go to waste.” They’ve already left the food out for too long, there is nothing good going to come from letting it sit out even longer, especially now the sun is shining.
He waves them all off as he makes a beeline towards the door. As soon as he’s out of view he shoves his hands into his pockets as deeply as he can. Gundham isn’t wrong, if Ibuki doesn’t have a good explanation for all this he’s going to be mad. However as he marches up the stairs he does his best to push his frustration down. Putting all those thoughts far out of his mind until he has more information to work with.
When he gets to the top of the staircase he doesn’t head straight into the medical area though. No, instead he takes a quick detour over to their rooms. He doesn’t need to think twice before he’s in front of Fuyuhiko’s door, his fist slamming into it, “Fuyuhiko. Peko.”
But even as he knocks the other side of the door stays silent. Could he be wrong? Maybe they’re in Peko’s room not his. No, that doesn’t seem right. They must be in Fuyuhiko’s room. Not only has Fuyuhiko set himself up in his room already but Peko’s is right by both Hiyoko and Mahiru. There’s no doubt in his mind they’re in here. They’re just not responding.
Maintaining a commanding tone he calls out through the door, “You need to bring your arses down to the party. I know the last ones have kind of sucked but you’re not doing yourselves any favours staying up here. Everyone wants to see you and be there to support you.” He pauses, straining to hear any motion beyond the door but there’s still nothing, “If you don’t come down I’ll back up here to drag you to the party by the ear.”
With that he turns his back on the door and walks away. At least he’s tried, all he can do now I hope that he convinced them. Sure he could come back up and drag them out later if they don’t show up but that sounds like more effort than it’s worth. Besides, he’s not sure he wants to be attacked by Peko today. Lets just hope they don’t call his bluff.
His fists return to his pockets as he draws closer to the medical area. A million situations run through his mind as he gets closer and closer. It’s hard not to let your imagination run wild when faced with situations like this. Could Mikan or Nagito be in trouble? Could their stitches have come undone? Did Ibuki lost track of time? Is it related to Ibuki’s reaction earlier?
“Ibuki?” He calls out tentatively as he pushes open the door to the front facing medical room firmly.
It’s only as he steps further in that the voices start drifting into focus. The voices are raised and stern. Arguing. And they both sound familiar.
“- can’t let you.” He instantly places the voice of the doctor that had been collecting Fuyuhiko, Mikan, and Nagito from the patient room over the last two days. She’s not quite shouting but she’s definitely mastered the stern head teacher style talk.
He narrows his eyes as he draws closer. Instinctively, crossing his arms as he glares at the woman without even knowing what all of this is about, “What’s going on?”
As soon as she sees him, Ibuki breaks into a smile. Not wasting a second she rushes over to his side, darting behind him just like that. But even then she makes sure to leave enough space between them to keep them just out of arms reach of each other. As soon as she’s safely hidden behind them she points an accusatory finger at the woman.
“Hajimeeeee! They aren’t letting us go to the party.”
“Tsumiki and Komaeda are recovering from major surgery. They shouldn’t be attending parties while they’re still weak.” The woman growls exasperatedly.
Slowly he’s starting to realise what must have been happening for the last half an hour. In a way he almost feels bad for the doctor. Not quite bad enough though.
“But its a party for them! They’re going to explode from boredom up here!” Ibuki dramatically grabs two fistfuls of her hair, miming pulling her hair out. Then again it is Ibuki, maybe she’s just pulling her hair out for real.
“I understand but it is not worth the risk of damage or infection.”
“Ibuki is great at looking after people!” Ibuki frowns, putting both hands on her hips and shuffling slightly closer to Hajime, “Haji can confirm that they’ll be extra safe with me!”
“I’m sorry if I don’t find that comforting.”
Without knowing Ibuki he can see why she would feel this way but Ibuki actually is kinda right. There isn’t a single shred of doubt in his mind that she would make sure they are well cared for the entire time. Perhaps that’s just because of how fresh the Neo World Program is in his mind but it seems impossible to think any differently. He suspects the doctor won’t accept that as an answer though. He’s going to need to take a different approach.
“Look, I understand that it is important they don’t get injured. I’m sure someone has told you about me and my…abilities. I promise I will keep an eye on both of them the entire time so they stay in perfect condition. If anything does happen I will take responsibility. I do believe this will be good for them though.”
He refuses to break eye contact with the woman. They both just stand there, glaring at each other. A true standoff. They are both stubborn enough to keep standing here for as long as it takes. Neither of them can afford to let the other win. He can’t believe he’s ended up being the one defending this.
“Fine.” She finally turns away, clenching her jaw, “But there better not be so much as a scratch on either of them.” She points at each of them in turn, practically hissing as she does so.
He has no idea what she’s going to threaten them with if they do come back injured but it doesn’t matter because they’re never going to find out, “I give you my word.”
Apparently that’s all she needed. Still scowling at the walls the woman turns on her heel and stalks off. Her shoes click rhythmically as she storms off. Both him and Ibuki watch silently as she disappears from view, leaving the medical room and turning off down the corridor.
Only when she’s fully gone from sight does Ibuki start jumping up and down, letting out an ear piercing squeal, “Eeeee! Haji that was soooo cool! You were like pow-pow-pow!” She mocks punching the air, her eyes twinkling.
He shakes his head disapprovingly, doing his best to hide the tiny smile gracing his lips. The last thing he needs is for Ibuki to notice that.
“Come on let’s just get them downstairs before the doctor changes her mind.”
Ibuki leads the way to the corridor and then through into the patient room, skipping ahead of him without so much as a glance back. Her hair swings gracefully from side to side with every bounce. A flashing array of colours dancing in front of him.
As soon as the door opens Nagito sits up in bed, greeting them with a smile, “Ibu - Ah, Hajime.”
Dark bags are starting to underline Nagito’s eyes but his hair looks freshly brushed and neat for once. Or at least as neat as Nagito can look. His waves still splay about awkwardly but it looks more bouncy and less scraggly than normal.
His amputated arm had been pulled up into a tight sling that holds it close to his chest. He suspects that when it had been applied at most a few hours ago it was in perfect condition, however now that is no longer the case. Stickers have been dotted all over the white fabric and someone has attacked it with an assortment of rainbow colours. If he’s being honest it looks like a unicorn has thrown up on it. Maybe that’s exactly how Nagito likes it though.
On the bed next to him is Mikan. Her hair has also been neatly styled like Nagito but it has gone a step further than just neatly brushing it. While most of her hair hangs down choppily as usual, two small space buns now sit on top of her hair making the choppiness look more stylised and purposeful. It probably shouldn’t suit her as much as it does but he would be lying if he said it didn’t work for her.
“W-What’s going on?” Mikan bites her lip. Her very first instinct is to look over to Ibuki warily but the other woman just gives her a crooked grin that already gives away her mischief. He’s starting to think Ibuki wouldn’t be good at poker.
Clearing his throat and doing his best to draw the attention away from Ibuki he announces, “We made arrangements for you to come and get some fresh air.”
Mikan’s eyes immediately widen, her shoulders relaxing at once. Nagito on the other hand…
“Hmmm, I see.” He smiles but as he meets Hajime’s gaze he can see the cogs turning. There’s going to be no pulling the wool over his eyes.
“A-Are we going up to the roof again?”
Not wanting to actively lie to her he simply answer, “You’ll see.”
Sensing her time Ibuki jumps forward, skipping across the room to take her place at the foot of Mikan’s bed. As she makes her way over she grabs onto the wheelchair at the side of the room, bringing it along with her. However, as soon as she reaches the foot she stops, not making any effort to fully stand at Mikan side. The most she does is push the wheelchair slightly closer, holding tightly onto the handles.
“Come on! It’s going to be bombastic! Let’s get you in the wheelchair! Ibuki will push you so you don’t need to worry.”
Mikan and Nagito don’t bother even trying to argue any further. He’s not sure if they’ve just learnt to accept Ibuki’s strangeness or if they already know exactly whats going on. Either way as long as they’re heading down that’s all that matters.
With Ibuki pushing Mikan’s wheelchair, Nagito filters over to Hajime's side. They both follow a few steps behind making sure to stay well out of the danger zone of the wheelchair. The thing might as well be a death trap with Ibuki behind it.
As soon as they get out into the main corridor there is nothing that can stop Ibuki anymore. Mikan can just squeal as Ibuki glides down the hallway, stood on the back of the wheelchair to let it roll freely on the smooth floors. In the back of his mind he knows he should probably stop her instantly - the doctor would have an aneurysm at the sight, but he can’t bring himself to. As long as they’re not slamming into walls or giving Mikan a heart attack what’s the harm. Besides, it does make for some good entertainment.
“You guys really are kind.” Nagito leans close, whispering softly. With Mikan screeching it’s almost too quiet to hear at all. He has to read Nagito’s lips to be fully certain of what he’s saying.
“I don’t know what you are talking about.” He turns away staying stoic, but there’s nothing he can say to convince Nagito. He already knows.
“Ah, my bad.”
Thankfully the conversation is interrupted by Mikan and Ibuki grinding to a halt at the top of the stairs. The wheelchair sits right at the edge of the top step. Hanging precariously. Clearly accessibility wasn’t considered when they made this place. For a moment he thinks Ibuki is going to simply try and bump her down the stairs but she doesn’t. She just stands there frozen as he mind grinds to a halt.
Not wasting a second, Hajime jogs over to her side. Making sure not to accidentally brush Ibuki with his shoulder as he shuffles past the wheelchair, “Here, let me carry Mikan while you take the wheelchair.”
“But -” Mikan starts to complain but he shuts her down immediately.
“It’s no problem. It’ll be faster and easier this way. Sling your arm over my shoulder.” He bends down beside her, offering her a comforting smile.
For a few seconds the both stay frozen like that, waiting for something to happen. He’s acutely aware of Nagito and Ibuki watching them quietly but he doesn’t push Mikan to hurry up. But much to his relief she eventually reaches out and clings onto him, letting him slide her out of the wheelchair and into his arms.
Carrying her bridal style, they carefully make their way downstairs. He has enough faith in his balance to be perfectly comfortable running down the stairs with Mikan but chooses to take his time anyway. Even if he’s confident in himself, he can feel how tense Mikan is. Her eyes are tightly screwed closed at this pace so he doesn’t even want to imagine how she would be if they were running.
Behind them Ibuki and Nagito follow, letting the wheelchair violently bump down every step. Ibuki giggles with each one, trying to lighten Mikan’s mood to little avail. As soon as they reach the bottom step he carefully lowers her back into the wheelchair, letting her lean into it. Her hands close tightly around the armrests, as if trying to lock her in there.
“Th-thank you Hajime.” She smiles sweetly, instantly relaxing. Every ounce of tension instantly evaporates instantaneously.
“We have made it! Our adventure is successful.” Ibuki declares before storming forward with Mikan once more. They’re left with nothing but her screeches as they whip through the halls once again. At this rate Mikan is going to be too sick to even eat the party food.
Despite their head start, Ibuki pauses in front of the main door, giving Nagito and Hajime time to catch up. They both step past her, each taking one of the two doors and casually pulling them open to allow the soft winds and bright red sky to overwhelm Mikan. And of course there is the cheering faces of their friends too.
“CONGRATULATIONS!” Like an orchestra reaching the crescendo, they all shout at once, practically knocking Mikan over.
So much for not trying to shock her with the surprises. It seems all of that went right out of the window at once.
Her eyes instantly begin welling up, “E-Everyone….” Both her arms reach up to ferociously scrub at her face, trying in vain to dry them before she becomes an absolute state.
Everything is chaotic as they’re overwhelmed by a storm of people shoving food and drinks in their hands - or hand in Nagito’s case. In the chaos Ibuki slips away, disappearing into the back as Mikan is doted on by everyone. Even Nagito is dragged forwards by Akane as she tries to shove a meat skewer into his mouth. It’s a miracle he doesn’t choke. Instead he smoothly takes it from her grasp and lets her sling an arm over his shoulder.
Mimicking Ibuki, Hajime steps back from the group to watch from a distance. Keeping a close eyes as they all fall over each other. In the background he’s faintly aware of music playing but he simply lets himself get slowly enveloped by the wind. The chattering voices drown out the sound of the everything else but he thinks it’s better this way. He can’t even hear what they’re talking about but it feels comfortable.
“Here. You have been avoiding the banquet you set up yourself. Lest we think you are trying to secretly poison us you should have some yourself.” Gundham suddenly barks, shoving a plate into his hands.
He hadn’t even noticed the man was there. Blending into the background far away from the others. No one is even looking their way, not even Ibuki who is still hanging slightly back from everyone else.
“Thanks, Gundham.”
However as soon as he says those words Gundham crosses his arms and scowls, “Hmph, I care not for you but it would be troublesome for me to have to deal with.”
Yet he hangs by Hajime's side anyway. The two of them people watching as their friends mill about the table. Neither of them say anything so they might as well be alone but somehow it feels warmer with Gundham beside him. Listening to every huff and grumble fills him with a sense of comfort.
As they watch Ibuki, Akane, and Sonia dance around the table excitedly. It’s not exactly a graceful dance, it’s not even in time with the music (if they can even hear it), but they’re smiling the entire time. They do their best to drag others into it to little avail. The closest they get is a blushing Kazuichi bopping his head before he shrinks away. Retreating into his food.
Nagito and Mikan are sat side by side, watching everyone with smiles lighting up their faces. Even when a bird flies by and poos on Nagito his positive mood isn’t interrupted. For once nothing can ruin the feeling.
From here he gets a perfect overview of everything everyone does. The others might not be able to notice it but he sees the way Ibuki avoids passing by Mikan as she’s dancing. Always keeping the woman in her sights. Every movement is so natural and smooth and yet somehow her back is never turned to Mikan. Not once throughout the celebrations.
He must look insane or like a stalker as he tracks Ibuki around the table but luckily the only person that might be able to notice is Gundham and Gundham is already far too busy people watching to give Hajime any attention.
Less fortunately, he’s so caught up in keeping he almost doesn’t notice the door silently opening behind him. Two shadowy figure slink out from behind it, trying to stick close to the walls as the begin to loiter.
“Fuyuhiko.” He spins around and instantly grins at the pair as the sound of their footsteps summon his attention.
But as soon as he does, Fuyuhiko winces, flinching back slightly. For a split second he frowns, wondering why, but as soon as the thought crosses his mind the answer becomes apparent. Their sneaky entrance is instantly destroyed by Akane charging forwards, practically throwing herself onto Fuyuhiko. Peko instantly tenses, her entire expression darkening, but Akane couldn’t care less. Instead her hand reaches up, rustling through Fuyuhiko’s slightly long and floppy hair.
“C’mere baby gangsta.”
“Get off me.” He tries in vain to shove her off but he’s completely trapped at her whim. Nothing he can do will ever free him. Not until she chooses to let him go.
“Nah, I don’t feel like it.” She cackles and only rustles his hair further.
“Akane!”
Peko doesn’t smile (who knows if she’s even able to at this point) but she does clear her throat as she backs away. Abandoning him to his suffering, “Would you like me to fetch you some food, young master?”
“Whatever.”
He pouts but gives up on trying to push Akane away. Submitting to his fate. There’s nothing else he can do at this point. Even Fuyuhiko isn’t quite a good enough actor to hide the hints of a smile that cling to him though. Especially not good enough to hide it from Hajime.
Even with the others here, Hajime is more than happy hanging back with Gundham. Simply watching the others is enough. It feels like if he takes a single step forward everything will fall apart. Even the food sits uneaten on his plate.
People drift in and out of the building as they refill drinks, bring out more snacks and use the toilet. Bit by bit the food vanishes and everyone runs out of energy. As they do so they slowly migrate from the table and chairs and onto the grass around the building. Laying on the grass they all stare up at the foggy red sky. They even recruit Nekomaru to gently lift Mikan from her wheelchair to lay her beside them all.
He’s not sure what they’re all seeing as they look up with pollution drowning out practically everything but he makes sure to stay silent to not interrupt them. Music is still playing in the background but he doubts anyone is listening anymore.
Him and Gundham might be trying to sink into the background but they’re not allowed to get away with it for long. They both already know what’s happening when Sonia starts approaching them.
“Come on! Join us!” She grabs both of their sleeves, ready to take them by force if necessary. And it most certainly is.
“I -”
But regardless of Gundham’s protests she forcibly drags them both without so much as a second thought, “Come!” There’s no point in them speaking at all. It’s not like she’s able to hear a word they say. No, action is the only thing that works.
As such he yanks his arm out of her grasp as he skips back. His plate wobbles in his hand but he manages to keep it balanced enough to prevent to food falling as he move. It’s not like he feels like eating but cleaning it up off the floor would be a pain.
“I just need to head to the toilet first.” He offers weakly.
It might be a lie but it’s not exactly a harmful one. He just needs to get rid of this food and he suspects Sonia wouldn’t take too kindly to the idea. It’s not like anything is wrong but right now he shouldn’t give anyone any reason to be worried. Not when he already knows they're going to blow it way out of proportion.
Thankfully that seems to do the job though, “Fine. You must return though.”
There’s nothing he can do to save Gundham as the man is dragged off to join everyone else. He tucks his head into his neck, shying away from everything, but he doesn’t do anything to fight Sonia off. Instead he just shuffles after her, their hands knotted together as she pulls him along.
Not wanting to give Sonia the chance to change her mind, he darts away back into the building. Unsure of where the bins even are in the building, he first makes his way over to the kitchen. Even if there aren’t bins in the rest of the building there has to be one in the kitchen, right? Much to his relief he’s completely right. Tucked away in the corner is a small bin. It’s not amazing but it’s a bin, it doesn’t need to be.
However as he scrapes the food away he can’t help but notice the pile of food already sat there. Fresh food. Their party food. An entire plate must have been dropped in here. Nothing more than small nibbles taken from it. He doesn’t need to stop and think about who’s food this could be. There’s only one person…
His stomach drops.
~~~
16/05 - 21:12
They stay laying on the grass for hours. The sun dips lower and lower until it’s kissing the horizon. Even with the sky bright red, they’re still gifted with a beautiful spread of colours that splay out from every spot that the sun touches the horizon. Reds. Yellows. Oranges. Pinks. It looks like someone has set the world ablaze and yet it soothes his heart.
With every passing second the it gets colder and colder. Or at least as cold as it can get here. When they’re trapped inside it’s easy to forget they’re on a tropical island ‘resort’. Well, what used to be one anyway. Compared to normal standards it must still be pretty warm but right now after basking in the warmth of the sun all day it feels more like standing in front of an open fridge than laying by a tropical coast.
Part of him wants to grab blankets and let them all bundle up out here but then he turns to his side and sees Nagito and Mikan laid out on the floor. Mikan is curled on her side in a way that probably isn’t great for her recovering abdomen. Her forehead pressed against Sonia’s arm with her eyes fluttered closed and mouth ever so slightly open.
In the excitement of everything they might have forgotten that their friends are actually recovering. Pretty ironic considering this is a ‘recovery’ party. The doctor would probably bite his head off for keeping them out this long. No matter how much he wants them to stay out here all night, a proper bed with nearby medical care might be more fitting.
Yet even knowing that, he can’t bring himself to disrupt anyone. Instead he turns on his side to face Nagito who is laying next to him, staring up at the quickly darkening sky.
“Nagito?” He whispers tentatively, watching Nagito carefully. Only when Nagito tears his eyes away from the sky and rolls to the side to face him does he continue, “I think we should head back and put Mikan to bed.”
Nagito hums and props himself up with one arm to peer over the sea of people to try and find Mikan. Hajime can see the moment he catches sight of her, his body relaxing somewhat and his eyes softening at the sight of her sleeping.
Instead of replying verbally, he quietly stands up. Practically gliding across the grass towards her. Not wanting to waste a moment Hajime follows behind him, practically glued to Nagito’s side.
As they start moving, people begin looking up. Watching them closely but both of them just ignore the others as they maneuver around the laying bodies. Thankfully it only takes a few seconds for people to lose interest and go back to their whispering and relaxing once more.
As soon as they reach Mikan Hajime crouches down at the woman’s side while Nagito grabs her wheelchair. At first Sonia tries to wave him off but he just shakes his head and pleads with her with his eyes. It takes a few seconds but eventually Sonia leans back, giving him free reign. Surrendering control just like that.
“Mikan. Mikan, can you hear me?” He whispers under his breath as he taps her gently. She stirs at the sounds but just buries herself deeper into Sonia’s side.
“Mikan, you need to get up now.” Sonia joins in, her voice as soft and melodic as a lullaby.
But even then she just hums in her sleep, curling up even further. Not wanting to bother her any more, he gently pulls her into his arms, letting her curl up into him instead. Sonia shivers, suddenly being exposed to the air again but she still offers a weak smile as he carefully gets up with Mikan bundled up in his arms. Part of him expects her to immediately wake up but even now she remains dead to the world.
Gently readjusting her, he begins walking towards the building and to Nagito who is trying his best to manage the wheelchair. As soon as he catches sight of Hajime and Mikan he stops and frowns, “Izu -”
“Can you push the wheelchair yourself?” He leans in close to Nagito so he can whisper as quietly as possible, “She clearly needs rest so I’ll just carry her up.” Besides they would have needed to carry her upstairs anyway so this always would have ended up being the plan.
Without needing to give it another moments thought, Nagito nods, “Okay.”
But even in spite of that Hajime isn’t too sure. With only one hand he does his best to maneuver the wheelchair, gripping it in the middle in a weak attempt to make it work. But in spite of his attempts it looks more like he’s wrangling a wild animal than pushing a wheelchair. He couldn't have picked a worse person to help him. Fortunately Hajime isn’t the only one watching his struggle at least.
“What’s going on?” Ibuki calls out in a sing song voice as she gets closer.
Hajime can’t stop himself wincing at the loud noise, feeling Mikan stirring slightly in his arms. Being as careful as possible, he pulls her even closer. Trying to shield her head and ears as much as possible.
Without having any free arms, he has to rely on Nagito to shut up Ibuki. Thankfully Nagito's hand instantly flies to his lips as he shushes her softly. At first she just frowns, raising one eyebrow and darting her eyes past all three of them. It takes a few seconds for everything to click. It's then that Ibuki chuckles awkwardly and dips her head.
“Awww, she’s all tuckered out!” Ibuki giggle quietly as she hop closer, peering over at Mikan. “Gimme the wheelchair! I wanna push it.”
She doesn’t give any room for Nagito to argue back, sliding into his spot and gently prying the wheelchair from him. Nagito awkwardly scratches at his arm as he stands around at Hajime's side. Without anything to do he just looks lost.
“You can grab the door.” Hajime nods down at his full arms and at Ibuki who is already pushing the wheelchair around in circles enthusiastically.
Working together the three of them eventually manage to stumble their way upstairs. With every step he tries to cushion Mikan as much as possible but he slowly starts to wonder if he even needs to bother trying. It’s not like she woke up from the tapping, Ibuki calling, or even him picking her up. At this point she might just be out for the count. Nevertheless he does everything he can to keep her comfy and stable despite all the movement.
Nagito leads the way and Ibuki brings up the rear, walking backwards to drag the wheelchair up behind her. Unlike on the way down she does her best to move it slowly, reducing the sound from it bumping on the stairs as much as possible. Although she doesn’t speak for most the journey that doesn’t stop her humming a familiar song under her breath the entire time. No matter how much he strains he can’t place it at all though.
As they reach their floor Ibuki begins to follow them through to the patient room but Hajime stops in his tracks and turns to her before she can get any further.
“I’ll stay with them tonight.” He whispers firmly.
Both Nagito and Ibuki stop at once, frowning at him from both sides. Almost as if they’re a single hivemind they both cock their heads in sync, trying to read him.
“What -?”
Hajime doesn’t even need to hear her ask the question before the lie has flown from his lips, “The doctor requested they only have one visitor tonight.”
Knowing how the doctor was earlier she probably would be happier with a one visitor limit (especially when the second visitor is Ibuki) but she never said a thing. Lying might not be the best solution but he can’t forget how Ibuki has been today. No matter how smooth and secretive she thinks she is he isn’t going to forget easily.
Ever since she’s woken up he’s been more than happy to let her stick by Mikan's side. At this point she might as well be Mikan’s carer. But just for tonight he needs to put his foot down. Someone needs to because it isn’t going to be Ibuki.
“Hmmm?”
“I think she wants it to be as relaxing as possible.” He explains casually, pleading to any god that could possibly be out there that she buys it.
Apparently they heard because she simply huffs, “Awwww, but they shouldn’t be all alone.” Pouting she crosses her arms and taps her foot on the ground but she doesn’t appear to be thinking twice about his words.
“They won’t be, I’ll be with them. With my talents I can make sure they get anything they need.”
“Hmmm, okay then!” She breaks out into a grin. It seems even she can’t argue with that kind of logic, “I’ll come and check on you tomorrow then!”
Humming happily she turns on her heel, leaving the wheelchair behind, but Nagito manages to catch her right before she darts off. Not wanting to grab onto her he instead calls out after her, “Thanks for looking after us today.”
At once she grinds to a stop, her body stiffening. But within a second she’s spun around, grinning brightly with her hands proudly on her hips once again, “It’s no problem for Ibuki Mioda!”
And then she disappears back downstairs to join the others. As soon as the door to the stairs closes the sound of her distinctive humming is sealed away leaving him, Nagito and Mikan alone with their silence. Well, silence except for the sound of their own breathing.
“Come on then. We’ll leave the wheelchair out here for now.” He nods towards the door.
It’s not like someone is going to come in and steal the thing. In a place like this where it’s just them they don’t need to worry about that. What they need to worry about is getting Mikan settled in a proper bed. It’s not that he minds holding her but he suspects her neck and back would appreciate a little more comfort.
As soon as they get to the bed Nagito pulls back the covers letting Hajime gently lower her onto the mattress. Once she’s settled they pull the covers back up, tucking her in tightly. Only when she’s fully settled do they both finally flop backwards onto Nagito’s bed. Laying side by side and staring up at the ceiling.
Chuckling to himself, Nagito slings his arm over his eyes, his body shaking the bed slightly.
“You okay?” He asks cautiously, turning his head to the side to he can examine the man. With his arm slung over his face it’s impossible to read his face. All he can see is the way he vibrates, his shoulders loose and relaxed as he sinks into the mattress.
“Of course. It’s just funny.”
“What is?” He racks his brain to try and figure out what he could be talking about but nothing comes to mind. No matter how much he thinks his mind is blank. He tries to run through everything he know about Nagito but still nothing.
Nagito shifts his arm, tilting his head towards Hajime. For a few seconds they lay there like that. Both staring into each others eyes, trying to read the others mind. But no matter how long they stare nothing becomes any clearer.
Eventually Nagito just shakes his head and turns back to stare up at the ceiling, “Never mind.”
Clearing his throat, Hajime sits up sharply and announces, “We should probably get to sleep too.”
Regardless of how hard he tried he doubts he would be able to fall asleep even if he wanted to right now but logical reminds him they should probably at least try. Especially Nagito. Sometimes it’s a little too easy to forget he’s been through surgery. Not just him, Fuyuhiko too. If anyone needs a much rest as possible it’s going to be them.
Apparently Nagito agrees too as without much argument they both get up off the bed, stretching out slightly. They both know they should probably brush their teeth or get changed but neither of them make any moves to. Instead, Nagito kicks off his shoes and starts pulling back the covers.
Without even thinking twice, Hajime begins moving towards the chair that is still perched by the side of Nagito’s bed. It’s like he’s moving on instinct.
“You know you can take the bed over there.” Nagito asks cautiously as he points over at one of the empty beds in the room.
Logic would dictate that he probably should take the bed - after all why not when you know it’s going to be superior - and yet the mere thought sends a chill down his spine. He sees another bed. Another place. Another room. No matter how long he look he can’t unsee it.
“It’s fine.” He shakes his head casually, keeping his voice steady and relaxed as ever.
“At least sleep on the couch.”
His first instinct is to immediately shut the man down but he quickly catches himself. It really would be stupid to sit on the small dining room chair when they have two perfectly decent couches.
Settling on the compromise he nods, “Okay.”
He even allows himself to grab some covers and a pillow from the bed, carefully setting up a little makeshift. He can only imagine how strange he must look to Nagito but he tries not to let his mind drift to those thoughts. Instead he just sinks into the pillow, focusing on the soft sounds of Mikan snoring and Nagito settling himself into his bed.
“Good night, Nagito.”
“Good night.”
Chapter 23: 17th of May
Summary:
When cleaning up from the party, Nekomaru makes a discovery.
Chapter Text
17/05 - 09:57
Hajime sighs to himself, wiping his brow with the back of his sleeve. If he thought yesterday had been warm then clearly he had no idea what was in store. The sun is high in the sky, slowly roasting the back of his neck. For the first time since he cut off his hair he’s starting to regret it. Sure the black hair would get incredibly warm on hot days but at least his neck was covered.
Maybe it’s selfish of him but looking at Nekomaru and Gundham in front of him does make him feel a little better. Poor Gundham already has a red burn on the bridge of his nose and sweat is slowly soaking through his white t-shirt. Him and Nekomaru are either side of the large table, holding it up off the ground. While he isn’t in as bad a state as Gundham, Nekomaru is sweating heavily. Beads of sweat line his hair line and his tanned skin, glowing in the shimmering sun.
The three of them were the only ones who drew the metaphorical short straw. Someone had to put away all the tables and chairs from yesterday and they were left holding the bag. However, as much as he complains, it’s not all bad. Even if they’re not actually on the beach, the warm weather, tropical trees and the sound of the crashing ocean definitely give the feel of a beach side holiday. Even with the dark red sky the holiday atmosphere can’t be broken.
Nevertheless he has a job to do. Nekomaru and Gundham won’t let him get away with just standing around while they do the heavy lifting (literally). He rolls up his sleeves with one hand and huffs drowsily. As the two get closer and closer he pulls open the door, letting Gundham and Nekomaru into the building first.
Working together they’ve already made good progress, though there wasn’t actually much for them to sort out in the first place. Once this table is done they’ll just have some chairs left to deal with. And then they’ll be free to hide away indoors once again. Willingly sealing themselves back up.
Once Gundham and Nekomaru have disappeared inside he moves about the area, carefully stacking up the chairs into four decent sized stacks. He hums to himself as he moves about, the song Ibuki had been humming yesterday now trapped in his head. Only when he has the stacks fully made does he finally pick up one up to start transporting it.
However, right as he’s about to open the door to the building, the front door slams open and Gundham shuffles out alone. His hands are shoved deep into his pockets but Nekomaru is no where to be seen. Hajime frowns and peers through the doorway but even then he can’t see the other man.
“Where’s Nekomaru?”
“Ha! That man is useless. Once more he was distracted from his mission to relieve himself.” Gundham huffs and turns his head away grumpily.
It’s not like he doesn’t get the frustration but they can’t exactly hold that against Nekomaru. Nature calls when it calls.
“Come on then. We only have a little left now.” He nods over to the stacks that are still lined up. While having Nekomaru around would be nice they most certainly don’t need him. Between the two of them they’ll only need two more trips.
Even though Gundham scowls and huffs grouchily he still helps Hajime with the chairs. They bring both stacks into the dining room where they’d originally found them, taking the time to set them out neatly around the table. He’s not really sure why they go to all the effort when they’re likely the only ones who will end up seeing them - actually thinking about it he still has no idea where the doctors have all been staying while they’re here. Nevertheless it feels nice when they can finally look upon the neat room.
However, as they go back for the last two stacks they’re interrupted as they start picking up the chairs. The door crashes open, slamming into the wall as Nekomaru bursts back in.
“Look what I found!” Nekomaru announces, holding up the bag in his hands.
For a moment he just narrows his eyes as if he’s somehow going to magically develop x-ray vision to stare through the fabric. But then Nekomaru pulls a handful of fabric out of the bag.
“My scarf!” Gundham rushes forwards at once, not even giving Nekomaru a second look as he drops the chair like a hot potato. Practically shoving him aside, he pulls on his scarf, cradling it with both hands. He doesn’t need to think for more than a second before he’s slung the scarf around his neck, breathing into the material softly.
It’s not just Gundham’s scarf though. He would recognise that dark green coat anywhere. Those blue and pink thigh highs too. But the one that stands out most it the yellow kimono hanging from Nekomaru’s hand.
Like a feral animal Gundham scrounges through the bag, throwing all the clothes out haphazardly. He doesn’t stop until he’s located all his own clothes, tugging on his coat over the dull clothes he had been wearing. It’s strange, he never thought that clothes mattered that much but somehow seeing Gundham once more swaddled in his scarf and jacket completely changes his mind. He hadn’t realised just how wrong Gundham had looked until this exact moment. It’s like suddenly the world had been made right.
“Where did you find these?” Hajime mumbles, shuffling closer to try and peer into the mass of fabric now littering the floor.
“Someone just folded them all up in a draw in the living room by the kitchen.”
Probably Naegi and the others. They did confiscate all their stuff before putting them in the machine. Not that that had stopped Hajime sneaking in the USB stick. Part of him had just assumed they incinerated it all though. Either that or that they at least threw them away. Clearly her was wrong. Perhaps they just forgot about them which is why they never received them again after waking up.
“Here’s your suit.” Nekomaru grabs some black fabric and throws it Hajime's way without warning. Even so he catches it with ease, letting his fingers dig into the soft material.
God, he had forgotten how nice these felt. After spending so long in plain cotton t-shirts and sweatpants he had almost forgot how nice clothes could feel.
Yet as he stands here holding them he doesn’t feel the rush he thought he would. He had been so sure that he would instantly want to strip down and change but instead he just stands there like a deer in the headlights. Just a few weeks ago he had been desperate for his suit but now…
Turning to the side he examines Gundham again. The man is breathing in the fabric desperately. Soaking them in. Perfectly molded into them despite weeks apart. But Hajime feels out of place even just holding his damn clothes.
Forcing a smile he tucks the fabric under his arm and gives Nekomaru a nod, “I can’t believe you found all these. I’m sure everyone is going to want them back immediately.”
“We must return them at once!” Gundham announces vigorously, tugging his scarf closer than Hajime had previously thought possible. Here's to hoping he doesn't choke himself.
“Ha, I agree!”
Although they both want to instantly head up and give the clothes to everyone, he manages to wrangle them both long enough to get the chairs in if nothing else. This time they don’t bother setting them out properly though. As long as they’re indoors that’s all that matters.
As they arrive back in the communal area they kneel down around the coffee table. Their knees burn but none of them complain as they neatly set out the clothes on the table. Nekomaru and Gundham instantly dive in, sorting out everyone’s clothes with nothing more than a glance.
At first he moves to help out but he quickly leans back, taking the time to just watch them. They both work perfectly in tandem, passing the clothes out to each other without even looking up. Even the most obscure pieces are organised without a second thought. Never in his life did he think he get would see Nekomaru and Gundham like this.
“Here, you two take these stacks. We can split up to hand them out.” Nekomaru groups together the clothes and shove the stacks into each of their arms.
Given how close the rooms are to each other it seems a little silly to split up like this but he keeps his lips sealed. What’s the harm in knocking on a few doors alone? This can’t even be considered alone as Nekomaru and Gundham will be within throwing distance.
Following behind Nekomaru, they both grip onto their stacks. Neither of them speak but they both thumb through their clothes to figure out who they are going to. Nagito, Hiyoko, Peko and Mahiru. Clearly Nekomaru was well versed with where everyone’s rooms are. It’s not just all his rooms that are close together, but the same is true for Gundham and Nekomaru too - although Nekomaru's seems to have been split into two distinct areas. Each of them taking their own region of the corridor.
He’s forced to squeeze past Gundham and Nekomaru, pushing deeper into the corridor. Looking down at his stack he wonders how many he will actual be able to deliver. At this point he would be surprised to find out that Peko had even stepped into her room before. Not to mention Nagito is still in the patient room. Even Hiyoko and Mahiru aren't sure fire bets. Both of them might as well have been sewn together since waking up but he never actually determined if they’ve been holing up in Mahiru or Hiyoko’s rooms.
Hopes not very high, he stations himself in front of Peko’s room first. He does his best to ignore the sounds of Gundham and Nekomaru smacking on the doors behind him as he firmly knocks on the door. Patiently waiting. And then he knocks again. And again. Nothing. He doesn’t even have the energy to pretend to be sad.
For a moment he considers bringing it over to Fuyuhiko’s room (there’s no point in pretending she’s anywhere else) but in the end he settles for gently laying out the clothes in front of the door. Hopefully she will get the hint when Nekomaru knocks on her door. If not he can always bring them over later.
There’s no point in him walking around to Nagito's door so he focuses on Hiyoko’s door instead. Stalling in front of it for as long as he can. But of course he can’t put it off forever. No matter how the interactions with Hiyoko have gone so far he can’t back off now.
Bracing himself he gently raps on the door. And then he knocks again. Just before he starts to turn away the door slowly swings open. Standing in the doorway is Hiyoko, her arms pulled close to her to hug her tightly.
“What do you want?” She scowls but the effect is ruined by her soft voice and the dark bags under her eyes.
“Here.” He holds her clothes out so she can clearly see it, “Nekomaru found them in a draw downstairs.”
At once Hiyoko darts forward, clinging onto the clothes for dear life. Her fingers knot into the fabric, holding it as close as humanly possible. Before replying she turns around, hiding away her face. All he can see is her back silhouetted against the darkness of the room behind her.
“Thanks.” If he wasn’t listening as hard as he physically could he wouldn’t have been able to hear it. He’s not even sure if Hiyoko wanted him to be able to hear it.
Right before she closes the door on his face he gets a short look into the darkness beyond. Even now he half expects to see Mahiru sat down on the bed or something but it really just is Hiyoko alone. All the lights have been kept off which makes it hard to make out much of anything but he does notice empty sweet packs littered all around the room. Clothes are strewn everywhere and all the draws in the room are hanging open. Clean clothes hanging over the edges like they’re bursting out from the seams.
And then the door is slammed in his face. He only just darts back quick enough to avoid getting hit in the face. And then that’s it. He just stands in front of the door as if watching it long enough is magically going to make it open. Of course it doesn’t…
In the background he can hear Nekomaru and Gundham talking but their voices are distant and fuzzy. Subconsciously he holds onto Mahiru and Nagito’s clothes closer. Pressing them into his chest.
Just like with Peko and Hiyoko he knocks on Mahiru's door but no one answers. Only silence remains. Just like with Peko he settles for setting the clothes down in front of the door as he turns back down the corridor.
There’s only one place he has left to go now then. If he’s not going to find either Mikan or Nagito in their room then he’s just going to have to go and hand deliver the clothes to them. After all who knows when the doctors are going to allow them to go back to their rooms. And he suspects they wouldn’t be happy with him bursting into their rooms to put the clothes away himself.
Readjusting the clothes in his arms he straightens up and begins walking out of the corridor. As soon as he passes Gundham turns around, scowling at him.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
He holds up the clothes for Gundham to clearly see, “I’m giving Nagito his stuff.” He explains with a sigh that comes deep from within his soul.
“Hmph.”
“Since I'm heading there I can take Mikan's too if you want? It'll save you the trip.” He turns to Nekomaru as he says that. Stretching his arms out in offering.
“That’s very kind of you!” Nekomaru flashes him a toothy grin as he rearranges the clothes to slide Mikan's over with ease.
“It’s fine, I couldn’t really hand my ones out in the first place anyway so it only makes sense.”
With a passing goodbye he leaves the men alone and wanders off. The sounds of their voices still echoing in the back of his mind as he begins to (admittedly short) trek across the building.
As he walks he finds it hard to stop looking at the long dark green coat now in his grasp. His mind keeps adding in the pink splatters that were present last time he saw it. No matter how stupid it is, he keeps expecting to catch sight of a large hole in the back but of course there’s nothing. His mind is just adding in useless information. Trying to compartmentalise all the information inside his head. He has to swap it’s position with Mikan’s clothes, hiding it away as much as possible.
“Ah, you’re back Hajime.”
As usual they both greet him enthusiastically as he steps into the room. They’re both sat exactly the same way he left them. He wouldn’t be surprised to find out that they literally haven’t moved since then.
“Is the cleaning already done?” Nagito asks softly, doing his best innocent smile.
“Yeah, we finished a little bit ago.” He grumbles as he steps into the room, closing the door behind them. “I came to bring you these.” As he speaks he throws the stacks of clothes onto the foot of each of their beds.
Both of them instinctively dart forwards, frowning as they slowly piece together what they’re even looking at. It’s only after a few seconds that everything suddenly clicks in their mind. You can see the exact moment when they figure it out. The cogs in their brains hard at work.
As soon as she realises, Mikan shuffles forwards and gathers up the pink, white, and blue fabric in her arms, “Our clothes?!” Her hands instinctively smooth down the clothes as if she’s petting them.
Nagito, on the other hand, stays firmly sat in his spot. His hand doesn’t even twitch towards the stack. The clothes just stay there. An unwanted stain upon the neat white covers.
“Where did you find them?”
“Nekomaru just found them tucked away in a draw.”
He shrugs casually and heads back over to the couch he had slept on the night before. Almost as if mimicking Nagito’s lack of interest he throws his own clothes down on the couch at his side, not even giving them a second look.
But while him and Nagito are barely even looking at their old clothes, Mikan is brushing her hand over them ferociously.
“Do you want to change?” He asks tentatively, waiting for someone to yell at him.
He’s not convinced it’s even an appropriate question to ask but it’s not like she can change herself. Well, she probably could but not without the doctor somehow finding out and yelling at her. That’s probably a situation they’re going to want to avoid at all costs. Especially after yesterday…
“Ummm, yes…maybe you sh-shouldn’t be the one h-helping though…” Although she doesn’t yell, her entire face is illuminated by her own blushing cheeks. He does his best to block out the memories of her like this from a different hospital room all together.
Given how she's been in the past he almost expected her to start skipping there and then but much to his relief she seems to be thinking along the same lines. The last thing they need is an awkward atmosphere in here.
“You have a point. When Ibuki comes I’m sure she’ll be willing to help though.”
“Y-Yes…”
Ibuki always comes. If they can rely on anything they can rely on that. No matter how she’s feeling she always ends up right back here. And sure enough within the hour she’s happily humming in the room, sat on the bed in her old clothes, helping Mikan tie the apron around her.
Only Nagito and Hajime remain, still dressed in plain white and black.
~~~
17/05 - 15:45
Silence spans across the room. All fifteen of them are sat here and yet somehow it’s quieter than ever before. Only the stilted sound of people breathing and the soft clinking of Sonia stirring her tea are audible.
All of them are sat around the table in the middle of the room, forced into close proximity. Somehow Hajime ended up being sat in the middle of the table, Nagito and Kazuichi either side of him as usual.
Akane is opposite him, her feet pulled up to rest on the table without a care in the world. At first Nekomaru had done his best to try to knock them off but after a while he just had to give up. They’ll just need to remember to clean the table before eating on here next.
While the rest of them came to the silent consensus that doesn’t stop Sonia wincing from Akane’s other side. Even Gundham is doing his best to not look that direction, focusing on the small tea cup Sonia had forced into his hand.
Remembering the issues they’d had just a few days ago, Ibuki and Mikan had strategically placed themselves at one end of the table with Fuyuhiko and Peko, keeping Mahiru and Hiyoko as far away as is possible given the limited space. His hopes for it making any difference are low but at least it’s something. But even with that distance, the tension burns through the room.
It certainly doesn’t help that Byakuya and Teruteru are seated practically to next each other right in front of Mahiru and Hiyoko - only a single empty seat separating them. Hajime had practically had to bust down Teruteru’s door to get him out here and he had instantly take a seat closest to the corridor of bedrooms. As physically close to his room as possible.
The entire time he's been here his head has been resting on the table. Hair flopping into his face and covering it from the world. When Byakuya casually took a seat by Teruteru he had half expected the man to sit up and freak out but he hadn’t moved an inch. It does make him wonder if he’s even aware that Byakuya is there. He certainly hasn’t looked at them if nothing else.
“Why’re we all here?” Akane groans and taps her foot casually on the table.
Kazuichi is the one to jump in to explain, “It’s a meeting, we can’t do it without everyone here.”
It hadn’t exactly been his idea. At least not entirely. Of course a meeting was necessary if they’re going to try and make any of this work but he had raised the idea more as an abstract concept. Apparently Kazuichi hadn’t take it that way.
However, right here and now it doesn’t feel like such a good idea. They’re all just walking on egg shells as Hiyoko huffs at one side of the room, her arms tightly folded and her glare cutting through the wall she’s staring at. While Mahiru isn’t looking quite as viscous, her jaw is still clenched as she looks down at the table in front of her.
“Can we just get on with it?” Mahiru hisses through gritted teeth. For a moment her gaze flickers over to Hiyoko, quickly checking her over before going back to staring at the table.
Sighing deeply at the sight around him he finally opens his mouth to speak. “I know people don’t want to be here-”
“Understatement.” Fuyuhiko mutters under his breath. Hajime can’t see his face from this angle but it’s not difficult to imagine exactly how it looks right now.
“- but,” He leans forward to glare over at Fuyuhiko, “we need to discuss what people want to do from now on.”
A soft murmuring breaks out around the room with those words. They’re all just quiet enough to make it impossible to clearly make out what they’re saying but not quiet enough that it doesn’t ripple around the room annoyingly.
Only Nekomaru raises his voice as he folds his arms, “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know how much everyone knows so I’m going to lay out everything as clear as possible: the future foundation is still out there and they want us dead. Naegi, Kirigiri and Togami left days ago to try and delay them but we haven’t heard from them since.”
He dreads every word that leaves his mouth. It’s not like his friends are stupid. They must be well aware that the future foundation isn’t exactly their fans - even if they hadn’t been told the entire situation. But being aware of the likelihood and being told someone wants you dead is different. The word are barely out and he can already feel the swelling of tension gather around the air.
Voices call out over each other. The murmuring before has ascended into outright chatter which drowns out everything else in the room.
“The future foundation….of course.”
“We ain’t got time for them!”
“Do you think the future foundation got to them?”
“The cursed cloud of such a fate does not pass easily.”
“I knew they were gonna get themselves killed.”
“If they’re gone then we really are alone in this.”
He can just about make out some of the conversations burning around him. Every word feels like a poker jabbed into his brain. Searing. They all might as well be allergic to letting each other speak. They have to be the next one opening their mouths. It’s only when he slams his fist down on the table, that they all shut up for a moment. Each of them staring wide eyed. Waiting for him.
For a few seconds he holds the silence, regarding each of them in turn. At this point it feels like there’s nothing he can say to stop the panic. The desperation. He can’t blame them but that doesn’t make his head burn any less. If only they weren’t so…predictable.
When he does open his mouth to speak, he keeps his tone measured and calm. Soothing. Or at least as soothing as he’s able to muster, “Well, we don’t know for sure that something has gone wrong. They promised to let us know if something went wrong.”
“That doesn’t seem like something they can promise.” Folding her arms, Peko looks up at him through her thin glasses. Everything about her expression is sharp. Cold. Determined.
He holds out his arms like he’s fending off wild animals, not calming down his panicked friends, “Look, it’s possible - I’m not saying it isn’t. But we need to prepare for both cases.”
He would be stupid to not even consider the idea. It’s not like he hadn’t questioned Naegi’s logic when he left. Chances are they’ll get no warning when the future foundation does come. They aren’t that kind of lucky. But right now they don’t need his honest feelings. They need something calm and reasonable. He can be calm and reasonable.
Unfortunately based on the growling of Hiyoko, not everyone agrees, “What are you suggesting then?”
She’s still not even looking his way but he can feel her gaze. She might as well be directly spitting in his face.
“We need to decide if we’re staying here or if we’re preparing to leave.”
As expected another ripple moves through the room with their words. There’s no way he was the only one considering leaving but actually saying it aloud is like ripping off the band aid. Exposing the fleshy bleeding wound sitting below.
“L-Leave…?” Mikan’s bottom lip wobbles as she not-so-sneakily reaches under the table to grab onto Ibuki.
She might have been successful at hiding her movements if Ibuki hadn’t almost leapt out of her skin at the sudden movement. However, as usual, she recovers in a split second, giving Mikan a reassuring smile.
At his side Nagito finally sits up straight, tilting his head to one side. A single finger reaches up to rest on his chin as he hums softly, “Hmmm, if we were leaving where would we go?”
“I have no idea.”
“Ughhhh! That seems bad!” Ibuki releases Mikan’s hand at once, yanking on her hair dramatically.
“I agree with Ibuki. There are not many places we are free to go to. And even less where we will not be recognised and found by people or the future foundation.”
Honestly, there aren’t many places left for them - if there are any at all. While working for Junko he was able to see a good portion of the world and it was equally shit no matter where he went. Even if it all began in Japan with the help of them no where was safe. War. Trauma. Terrorism. They fucked up any possible safe haven. If they did choose to leave where could he even lead them to? They really dug their own graves during the last few years. Karma is a bitch.
Ever calm and collected, Byakuya leans forward. Their hands press onto the table, creating a commanding presence as they leans towards everyone, “But if we stay we are sitting ducks for the future foundation.”
“It’s not like they’ve found us so far though…” Kazuichi offers up meekly but it wouldn’t be enough to convince even Mikan. If anything it might actually do the opposite.
“How long will that last for?” Byakuya shakes their head disapprovingly which only makes a pink blush crawl up Kazuichi’s cheeks.
“If we step out into the open it will draw their attention though.”
They both freeze, eyes locking and bodies tensed. Neither one of them is ready to back down. Each waiting for the other to take the first step. He knows who he would be betting on though.
Slowly Mikan looks around the room. Even her head is stuttering as she moves, her lip still trembling weakly. Her nails painfully pull at each other as she begins stuttering once again, “B-But Naegi-i and the…the others told us t-to stay, r-right?”
And that is the last straw that breaks the camels back.
BANG.
A sudden smack thunders through the room.
Each and every one of them slowly twists to face the other end of the room as Hiyoko stands there. Her hands are curled into fists, her knuckles pressed against the smooth surface. The long fabric sleeves of her kimono droop down her arms and pool around her hands, almost completely hiding them from view.
“What's your point?” Hiyoko hisses, face seething red. Not one of them dares say a word. The memory of what happened last time is still a little too fresh. His heart thunders in his chest, every muscle ready to react at a moments notice.
If Mikan had been shaking before then she might as well be in an earthquake now. He had no idea it was even possible for someone to vibrate that much. At a moments notice her eyes are already swimming with heavy tears. Her own shaking body betrays her, knocking the tears free to let them tumble down her cheeks and onto the table below.
“Eeek! I-I just mean-n that we need to trust th-them.”
He’s already wincing before she’s even finished speaking.
“That’s the dumbest dog shit answer I have ever heard.”
“Hiyoko.” Mahiru does her best to step in, reaching over to gently tug on Hiyoko’s sleeve like she had done last time but the woman doesn’t react at all. She doesn’t flinch, or knock her aside, or even look her way. Only one person exists in her vision.
“It’s true! They’re useless! We can’t do anything to look after ourselves here.” She doesn’t bother trying to hide the tears welling up in her eyes.
Logically he knows her and Mikan couldn’t look more different. Sure, they’re closer in height now but their hair, eyes, skin, face, clothing, everything is completely different. And yet they look like perfect mirrors of each other right now. Down to the very last detail. He somehow doubts Hiyoko would appreciate hearing that though.
Realistically there is no way the air in the room has actually gotten hotter but he can’t shake the feeling anyway. Hiyoko’s mere presence is setting the air around them ablaze. Anger seeping off of her into the atmosphere.
Someone needs to intervene. If they don’t this is only going to get worse and worse.
But before he gets the chance to do anything, the sound of Gundham chuckling cuts off his thoughts. His entire body relaxed and casual despite to the scene before them, “However it is not as if we have much more power out there. We would be leaving our fortress to wander into the enemies kingdom. Is that what you want Hiyoko?”
“Shut up! Byakuya is right, we’re sitting ducks here. We’d just be waiting to die.” Hiyoko is addressing them all but even now she can’t take her eyes off of Mikan. Every word is spat towards Mikan with all the malice Hiyoko can muster, “Unless that’s what you want.”
With every word Mikan grows smaller and smaller. It’s like she’s trying to curl into a ball while still remaining in her chair. Her legs slowly coming up onto the chair so she can full curl in on herself. Bit by bit her chair is shuffling back as if those extra few centimeters are somehow going to shield her.
They can all see her shaking, the entire chair might as well be vibrating with her but they sit frozen. Lumps burning in their throats. Hajime could swear there’s a high pitch ringing echoing through the room but no one else seems to be reacting to it. No matter how loud it, he appears to be the only one hearing it.
The only person to stand up is Ibuki. Her hands are shaking but she’s still smiling as brightly as ever. But instead of forming a wall between Hiyoko and Mikan she runs over to the counter top to fetch Sonia’s teapot and a selection of cups. If anyone couldn’t tell her hands were shaking earlier then they would certainly be able to tell now as the cups hanging off her fingers clatter together, the sharp and shining sound of the china clinking burning heavily in the air.
“Ibuki thinks that maybe we could all do with a tea break.”
She sets out the small selection of cups out in a circle around the tea pot and begins gently tipping a little bit of tea in each one. As she does so the spout of tea shakes and wobbles but only a few small splatters end up on the table cloth.
“Hiyoko? Mahiru? Byakuya? Hajime? Peko?” She looks around at them each in turn as she calls their name. It’s as if trying to search for someone, anyone, who will save her from the moment. Only him and Byakuya reach forward and take a cup though.
It’s not that he wants tea - actually quite the opposite right now - but Ibuki deserves this from him at the very least. However based on how heavy the air is around them still he is starting to think this isn’t really helping the situation either. Instead he tries to look around the table for anything at all that can change the topic.
And as he looks, his eyes find Teruteru who is still laying with his face in his arms, “What do you think Teruteru?”
As if he’s been shocked with electricity he sits up, jumping out of his skin. His eyes are completely red and his skin is blotchy and red in patches which only adds to the unkempt look. Not to mention the feral way in which his eyes dart around the room desperately.
“Huh? What do you mean?”
Hajime clears his throat, suddenly feeling warm ripple down his neck. Okay, maybe picking on Teruteru of all people wasn’t the best call. Everyone around the room - with the exception of Mikan who is still a ball in her chair - is staring at him like he’s lost his mind.
“We’re all sharing what we feel. Do you want to stay here or leave?”
“I…” Teruteru’s eyes finally stop moving, settling on staring down at his own hands, “I don’t know. I don’t care.” Waves of dejection roll off of him. Exhaustion personified.
When his head finally drops back into his arms there is nothing left. None of them even try to stop him. What could they do? It feels impossible to connect this person he’s seeing now with the lively person he had known both in the program and real life. They might as well be entirely different people and he’s not sure how he’s supposed to handle this new person in the midst of them.
Apparently he isn’t the only one.
“This ain’t goin’ well…” Akane tries to mumble under her breath but with no one else speaking it might as well be a shout. The words ring sharply through the room, stabbing into each and every one of them. Teruteru only buries himself deeper thought. As if he could drown out her words if he just sank far enough.
Clapping her hands, Sonia is the next one to make any attempts to break the tension in the room.
“I know, how about we all raise our hands if we would like to remain here for the time being.”
She suggests it with such enthusiasm but that excitement doesn’t extend beyond herself. Nevertheless none of them have any better ideas. With nothing else to work with they reluctantly follow along, raising their hands.
Most of them anyway.
Either side of him Nagito and Kazuichi hold their hands high but while Nagito still sits tall, sneakily taking a cup of tea for himself, Kazuichi drop his head as much as possible. Both his eyes screw tightly closed as he tries to bury his face in his neck.
Across from them Sonia, Gundham, Nekomaru and Akane all lift their hands - not to mention Ibuki with her hand raised while the other grabs Mikan’s wrist, holding her hand up for her. Given the situation he doesn’t feel like that should be allowed to count but none of them dare to say a thing. At this point they’ll take what they can get.
There’s no surprise when Teruteru, Hiyoko, and Mahiru keep their hands down. As if trying to beat her point into their heads, Hiyoko even tucks her hands under her armpits, keeping them firmly pinned down.
He isn’t even surprised to see Fuyuhiko and Peko sat stiffly, their hands still kept down despite the look being shot their way by Sonia and Ibuki. Byakuya though…that surprises him.
It’s not like he truly knows them - sometimes he wonders if anyone knows them - but he always got the feeling they had a good head on their shoulders. Reasonable. Reliable. Rational. And yet they show no intention of ever raising their hand.
Nevertheless they have the answer they needed. Even if some of them disagreed the will of the majority is clear. As far as they’re concerned that’s all that truly matters.
Clenching his jaw Nekomaru takes the reins and nods around the room, “That settles it then.”
“Yes, it would seem so.” Gundham mumbles, unconvinced.
Hajime struggles to say he disagrees. Even if they know what most people want it doesn’t exactly feel ‘settled’. Neither him nor Gundham raise their opinions though. He doubts the others truly feel like this is done, they are all feeling the same thing right now. But with everything running this hot maybe it is better to just settle the conversation for now until they get more information.
“I can’t believe this.” Hiyoko huffs grouchily, turning away from everyone - even Mahiru.
“Hiyoko this does not need to be forever.” But no matter how much Sonia tries to reassure her, the words might as well just be bouncing off of Hiyoko. He doubts that anything would be able to get through to her right now.
Everyone tries to be encouraging, planting the seeds of compromise, but it’s all meaningless.
“Yeah, we can give it a bit of time and see.” Kazuichi is, of course, ignored.
“Yep! If something happens we can totally run still!” So is Ibuki.
Regardless of what they try the truth still remains. They’re stopping the others from pursuing the course of action they want to. They’re keeping them trapped here. Nothing will change that.
Part of him almost wonders if they should just encourage everyone to just do whatever they want. But the other part of his brain is fully aware of how badly that could go. He can’t in good conscience send them out into the world alone. He’s not having more deaths on his hands. Especially not these ones. At least if they’re together he can try something to help them. Anything is better than nothing.
Of course none of this does anything to settle Hiyoko though, “If you really believe that then you’re dumber than I thought! We’re going to fucking die before we can do anything!”
As she speaks her breaths get shorter and shorter. Each one creeping into the next. Panic burning hot through her. At this rate they’re going to have another panic attack on their hands. He has to do something, anything, to defuse the situation.
“Hiyoko, I know how you feel but this isn’t suicide.” Hajime tries to appeal to her rationality - even if it is well and truly out of reach right now.
Even Nagito tries to help out and he takes a sip of his tea, “We’re just putting faith in Naegi.”
“Can you shut up Nagito!” Hiyoko finally turns around, snapping at Nagito. A vein is slowly bulging on her forehead. With every pulsation it feel like they’re only getting closer and closer to having everything on fire around them, “I’m not listening to this crap anymore!”
“I get what you’re trying to say, but Hiyoko isn’t wrong.” Mahiru raises her head slowly, shifting her gaze to meet Hajime specifically.
She might look deflated and sucked dry but somehow she still sounds the same as ever. As certain. As determined. As firm. Always right there with Hiyoko.
“Mahiru…” Ibuki’s shoulders deflate, her voice dropping softly. All of her energy is gone with that one word.
“I’m not trying to be contrarian. It’s just being realistic.”
Across from her Byakuya nods along, keeping their gaze firm and resolute even if it lacks Hiyoko’s burning passion and energy, “It is realistic to not put utter faith in them.”
He’s not sure if he can say anything to convince them. It’s not like they sat and talked with Naegi or Kirigiri. Not even Asahina and Togami. To them they might as well just be blurry figures on the horizon. The people that got them in this situation in the first place.
Who knows, maybe he is the one who has been corrupted. It’s not like his mind has been in the best space. Perhaps he’s insane to be relying on Naegi of all people - they all saw how he could be unreasonable in the killing game on TV. But this isn’t the time to be questioning that.
In the end he isn’t the one that breaks the silence though - at this point he can’t help but wonder if he’s doing anything at all. Gundham is the one to sit up, firm and resolute as ever. Some might call it stubbornness but right now he’s just relieved.
“You fools. You are merely acting out of a burning fear which sears through your veins. While your fear is warranted - this world has teeth bared for us - we cannot turn and submit to this fear. Waiting for sufficient knowledge before making fate altering choices is only smart.” Gundham holds his head high, practically looking down upon them all. His voice booms as loudly as ever. Reverberating through them all.
Somehow, despite his words, he’s speaking more sense than anyone else here. At this point he shouldn’t be surprised though.
However in spite of that Fuyuhiko just shakes his head, closing himself off, “Damn right it’s fear fuck face.”
“B-But people out th-there really don’t like us. How…how would we hide…? P-People would just hunt u-us.” Mikan’s stutter suddenly snaps everyone’s attention over to her.
He hadn’t even realised she had sat up. Although her legs are still up on the chair, pressed against her chest, her head is upright now. Her shoulders slightly raised. Just enough to let her examine the table tentatively.
But even as she speaks he can already feel everything falling apart. It’s not that he disagree with her - far from it - but he might as well be able to hear Hiyoko seething. And it only gets louder with every broken stutter.
“Why’s that?” Hiyoko growls and they all hold their breaths.
“W-what do you…what do you…mean?”
“I mean why do people want to kill us everywhere?”
Both of them stare into each others eyes. Even Mikan doesn’t dare look away. Tears well up in her eyes but she remains in exactly the same position. As if a single movement will set Hiyoko off. It might be a little late for that though…
“Sit down Hiyoko. We get it.” Akane tries to plead nonchalantly but it’s too little late.
“This is not a productive discussion right now.” Even Nekomaru can’t do a single thing to put out the dynamite now.
At his side Nagito tenses, already feeling everything brewing over. Even Kazuichi back up ever so slightly, shifting uncomfortably in his chair.
“No! No it is!” Hiyoko shouts louder than he thought she was even capable. Around him people begin slamming their hands over their ears but Hajime remains right there, eyes flickering between Hiyoko and Mikan who are still firmly locked together, “They all want us dead because Mikan fucking stabbed us in the back! She lured us into a trapped and stole our lives from us.”
Each word is a stab in everyone's hearts. Each and every one of the them flinches back. Even Teruteru tenses for a moment with his head still tucked away.
The time bomb has blown. Sonia tries to soothe Hiyoko but it’s too little too late, “H-Hiyoko -”
“No! Don’t speak! Because of you we all lost our futures and our families futures! We have to stay hidden here because of you! Chiaki is dead because of you!” Hiyoko yells each word at the top of her voice.
For a moment he loses sight of the room entirely. It’s all gone. The only thing that remains is Junko. He can see her arm draped over Hiyoko as she stands there yelling at them all. Junko is grinning. Or she would be. As he turns his head to look at Mikan the image is replaced by the sight of her claws digging into Mikan’s shaking body. Her shadow smothering the table. Darkness echoing off each of them. Rippling out. Growing. Seething.
As the entire table disappears into darkness his skin begins to burn. Hot needles sizzling across his skin. A thick fog sitting around his brain. Crushing everything.
All he can see now is the bright pink blood forming a puddle at his feet. A small galaga pin spattered in blood staring up at him. Chiaki’s pale hand reaching towards him before finally falling to join the rest of her in the pool of blood.
Mikan. Mikan. Mikan.
He remembers seeing her sat at the desk with Junko. Junko’s weight pressing onto her frail frame as Junko stood behind Mikan’s chair. Staring over her shoulder. Pressing herself into the other girl.
It wasn’t just her though. Izuru was right there, sat on the bed watching them. Mukuro was leaning against the wall, knife spinning in her hand. And in the corner of the room was…him. The blonde boy. Ryota. He was curled up exactly like Mikan is now. Rocking in the corner. Trapped. Cornered. Submitting.
Somewhere in his mind he’s aware of the others talking. Mikan spluttering and people trying to defend her but all he can see is that moment. He had sat there watching everything. Somehow the Mikan from back then seems exactly the same as this one here and yet so different at the same time. The true dichotomy.
“Th-That’s not fair. It’s not Mikan’s fault alone.”
“Junko just reached Mikan first - it could have been any of us.”
But it doesn’t matter how much they try to argue with Hiyoko, she’s as blind as him right now. And she’s armed with poison which she chooses to spit in everyone’s faces, “She’s a fucking crazy cow faced whore! We can’t just shove all the blame on Junko!”
Before he’s even aware of what he’s doing his mouth is open and his brain starts speaking without him, “What do you think about me then Hiyoko?”
Bit by bit he slowly raises his head towards her. He hadn’t even realised he had sunk into the chair. None of that matters now that. The only thing that matters is Hiyoko.
“Huh?”
Taking in a rattling breath he explains again, “I wasn’t brainwashed by Junko like Mikan and you guys were.”
Out of everyone here, he’s the only odd one out. No matter how hard Hiyoko fights to make this about everyone versus Mikan - or even Peko and Fuyuhiko - none of that is accurate. There is only one person who doesn’t fit here. Junko wasn’t the one who messed with him. She wasn’t the one that made him like this.
Scrambling desperately, Hiyoko leans forward over the table, her face quickly growing redder and redder. Her bottom lip trembling almost as badly as Mikan, “Are you fucking defending her after everything!” The tears that had been slowly brewing behind her eyes are now cascading. Dripping everywhere and onto everything.
“No. Not at all. But if you’re mad at Mikan for being the first in your class to succumb to Junko then what do you think about me? She wasn’t the first - I was. And she didn’t even need to brainwash me.”
He half expects her to launch herself at him. To scream. To yell. To call him names. Something. Anything. Knowing Hiyoko why wouldn’t she? It’s not like they were ever close. She couldn’t care less about him. But instead she just stands there. Tears streaming. Eyes red. Bags heavy and dark.
He keeps waiting for an explosion that never comes. It’s like her brain has broken down. Either that or it’s been entirely overloaded. She can barely even push out more than a single stuttered word, “I-”
And then she turns on her heel, her long ponytail whipping behind her. Even with her back turned they can see the awkward and uneven way her chest rises and falls. The stuttered way her shoulders move. But instead of breaking down at the table again she storms forwards, running towards her room.
None of them, not even Mahiru, move an inch until they hear the door slam closed in the distance. And even then when Mahiru does get up, she’s moving at a snails pace. Shuffling down the hall, arms drawn in around each other. All the life and energy gone. Like a zombie she just drag herself down the hall after her friend. Working on nothing more than a frail impulse that runs through her body.
“Is she going to be okay?” Sonia’s nails pull at each other, her half full tea completely ignored in front of her.
Honestly, he’s not sure. He wants to say yes. That mental health can easily be fixed and one day she will be her usual self again but they would be lying to themselves. Given what they’ve seen he doubts she will ever be okay again. Certainly not while they’re all pressed up against each other in this building.
However, ever the motivator, Nekomaru simply replies, “Eventually she will be. For now leave her though.”
“Mahiru will keep an eye on her.” Kazuichi sounds more like he’s trying to convince himself than them though. Regardless, it isn’t working either way.
A thick fog is still clinging to his mind even as he gets up. He must have moved too quickly or something because his entire mind swoops and dives uncomfortably at the motion. Everything in his body swirling painfully and throwing him off balance. He has to subtly cling onto the edge of the table to keep him from falling back over into his chair pathetically. It’s like pins and needles have spread across his entire body, making everything prickle uncomfortably.
“Are we okay staying here for a little bit then?” He does his best to keep his voice stable, looking out across the table as best he can with the world swimming around him.
Even though she had kept her hand down, Peko nods sternly, “This does seem like the most logical course…”
She doesn’t wait for everyone else to reply before she’s getting up, waiting for Fuyuhiko to follow her.
Sure enough he does get up and stalk after her but he keeps his hands in as he grumbles, “Yeah, whatever…”
Even with just four people gone the table feels suddenly empty. Holes filling the space. Emptiness seeping in. It doesn’t help that Teruteru might as well not be here. He’s nothing more than an empty husk sat beside them.
Laughing awkwardly Ibuki gives a wobbly smile, “That was a smashing success!”
“Clearly…” He doesn’t bother fighting the urge to roll his eyes. He knows she’s trying to joke but that does nothing to dissuade the feeling bursting in his chest.
“It could have gone worse.”
It could have gone worse. Even though it’s true he hates the words with every ounce of his being.
It could have gone worse.
Chapter 24: 18th of May
Summary:
Hajime wakes up from a nightmare only to find distraction elsewhere with a new project.
Chapter Text
18/05 - 02:24
Water splashes on his face as he leans over the sink. The fragile silence only broken by the sound of running water. Droplets trickle down his face but he doesn’t bother brushing them aside.
For the first time in days he had woken up from nightmares. Even now as he watches his own reflection he can still see Junko standing behind him. Her long red nails dragging along his throat. A single pink droplet blossoming from his left eye. Of course as soon as he was starting to get used to sleeping without nightmares this happens.
No matter how much water he splashes on his face, the images won’t leave. The only thing he can do is tear his eyes away from the mirror. Away from his glowing red eyes.
But even then he can still feel her long nails brushing against him. Her shadow is wrapped tightly around him regardless of what he does. Even when he sits back on his bed, knees drawn up to his chest, he can feel her weight on top of him. Pressing down. Always on top.
At some point his mind just goes numb. Drifting off. The heaviness slowly turns into a fuzzy fog which settles over him. He can’t feel whats happening to his body but he also can’t feel Junko over him so he’ll take what he can get. Beggars can’t be choosers.
However it means he doesn’t even realise he’s gotten up and walked off until he’s fully left his room and the entire communal area. The first thing he hears is the sharp ringing of struck metal. Hollow and clear in the darkness. Like an alarm bell cutting through the night, he suddenly snaps awake. Instead of staring at his own dark bedroom wall, he’s looking into an all too familiar room. The green glow is the only thing providing any light.
He’s not alone though. A shock of pink hair is laying on the ground, pulling at one of the machines. A mess of wires and metal fragments are sticking out from the side of the chamber. They already hadn’t been in the best condition after all the alterations to wake the others but this looks more like someone had take a sledgehammer to it. Metal fragments have already been pulled free and are now stacked next to Kazuichi.
Bit by bit Hajime moves closer. Although he’s not trying to be quiet, Kazuichi shows no acknowledgement of Hajime’s presence. Quite the opposite. As he lays their, hair roughly tied up into a mess bun, he hums to himself. His hands deftly pull at the machine, quickly and efficiently pulling free different parts.
“Kazuichi?” He calls out as he gets closer, making sure to give Kazuichi as much space as possible, “What are you doing?”
Apparently no amount of space would have been enough though. As soon as Hajime speaks Kazuichi jumps, his head slamming into the chamber unceremoniously. Eyes wide and frantic.
As he sits up, slower this time, he gingerly rubs at his forehead. Nothing can distract from the way his cheeks are alight with a bright pink glow though. It only stands out more now that he’s back in his signature yellow boiler suit, oil already staining the fabric again.
“Ummmm…” He looks around the room desperately, searching for anything he can make a lie out of before finally sighing and giving up, “Okay, fine. I’m getting stuff to make the arm for Nagito.”
“I almost forgot about that.”
God, it feels so long ago even though it was only just a few days ago. He’s not sure how the suggestion could have slipped his mind. Maybe he just didn’t take Kazuichi seriously that he would really want to make it - it’s not like him and Nagito got on particularly well in the Neo World Program.
He probably shouldn’t hold all their relationships to the level they were in the program but it’s hard not to when there isn’t much else to go on. Even more so when the memories feel so fresh and raw in his mind.
“What are you doing here?”
He shakes his head, trying to focus on Kazuichi. The man is watching him through narrowed eyes, looking at him like he’s completely lost his mind. Maybe that’s not actually that far off. Perhaps his brain might have wandered off a little too much…
He tries to wrack his brain to answer the question but he has no idea. It’s not like he consciously chose to come here. In spite of that he can’t exactly just tell Kazuichi that he was just wandering around to outrun his nightmares. If he’s already looking at Hajime like this then he hates to imagine the look he would give if he knew what Hajime was dreaming about. Although he doubts anyone in this place is having nice dreams.
“Just…acting on impulse I guess.” He shrugs nonchalantly, praying it comes across properly.
Apparently it’s effective enough as Kazuichi sighs, letting his shoulders sink. Shaking his head Kazuichi lifts a hand and points over at a small stack of tools to the side.
“Grab a wrench and help me.”
For a split second he considers turning him down to go back to his room but then he comes to his senses. What would be the point of going back? He came all the way out here to try and get away from Junko and her shadow. If Kazuichi is offering to help him distract himself then who is he to refuse.
He doesn’t verbally respond but he heads over to the tools and grabs the wrench before heading over. Kazuichi silently shuffles to the side, brushing aside his salvaged materials to make a little space for Hajime right at his side. Mimicking Kazuichi, he lays down on the floor, holding himself up by his elbows. A shot of fuzziness passes through him every time their arms brush together in the tight space but he simply bites his tongue every time it happens. The short shot of pain grounding his mind again.
Hajime stays silent as they work, merely following Kazuichi’s short explanations. Neither of them explain why they’re here doing this in the middle of the night. They just sit comfortably in each others presence. Breaking down the pieces of the machine bit by bit until there is barely more than a frame left. And then they move onto the next one.
It’s not just wires, screws and cogs he’s pulling out. Metal panelings and scraps are also added to the pile. He supposes it makes sense, the actual arm needs to be made of something after all. Nevertheless the pile seems never ending. Just when he thinks they have enough materials they pull out another fistful of wires.
By the time they step back from the machines they have entirely wrecked two - almost three - machines. In the back of his mind he wonders what Naegi and the others are going to say about all this. Sure, they probably don’t want to use the Neo World Program again any time soon but even an idiot would know these must have cost a small fortune to make. And now they’re a pile of scrap parts on the floor.
Between them they have to make two trips to and from Kazuichi’s room, their arms full of materials. While he does consider grabbing a bag or something by the time they’ve made the first trip it doesn’t feel like much more effort to just make the second trip. Besides, there’s something quite calming about carrying everything around like this. Walking through the empty halls without anyone around in the dead of night.
He half expects Kazuichi to shoo him off after everything has been brought over but he doesn’t even bother asking Hajime if he wants to stay before he’s beckoning him over. He brushes a few pieces aside, making a small island on the floor for Hajime just like the one he has for himself.
He’s not sure how a room can look so different while also looking exactly the same at the same time. Grease and parts have formed a sea around the bed that completely dwarfs the selection of parts he had had last time Hajime saw inside this room. Electronics wrecked and taken apart everywhere. There’s even a large number of pencils a big box of paper thrown unceremoniously across the bed. He had no idea a room could even get this messy and yet it somehow still feels the same as ever.
But in spite of the messiness he stumbles forward and takes the spot carved out for him. He’s not going to turn it down when it’s been so lovingly prepared. Thankfully this time the spot is far enough away that his personal space bubble is maintained even as they work. It’s hard to tell if that was done consciously by Kazuichi or not.
Before Kazuichi had only spoken in short sharp instructions but now it’s like the door has been opened. Any promise of silence has been utterly destroyed. Hajime does his best to listen to everything but sometimes it feels more like an uninterrupted train of thought than anything else as he explains all of his plans.
Kazuichi would probably kill him if he ever said it out loud but it’s somewhat cute seeing his eyes sparkle as he shows off his DIY soldering iron made with a stacks of pencils and some circuitry. Listening to his babbling about all his plans for the arm somehow feels light. All thoughts about his nightmares and Junko melt away. All that is left is Kazuichi and this stupid moment.
~~~
18/05 - 10:29
Hours pass as they work together, slowly piecing together the beginnings of the arm. But even with how long they’ve been working it feels like no progress has been made. Hours sat here, basically in the darkness, and they have a single finger to show for themselves. Not even the machinery behind the finger - just the outer metal frame.
Neither of them are ready to take a break though. They’re both deep in the zone, determined to make any progress. However that flow is broken by a firm knock on the bedroom door.
“Oi! Haji get out ‘ere.” Akane’s drawl is clearly recognisable even through the thick door.
Haji? God, Ibuki better not be spreading that across everyone. Sure he might have said he was fine with being called Hajime but he never would have agreed if he knew this was what it would come to…
Kazuichi is the first one to lower his soldering iron, looking up at Hajime with a furrow brow as if somehow Hajime knows whats going on. Sometimes he doubts anyone knows what Akane is doing.
“Huh? How does she know you’re here?”
“No idea…” He shrugs with a sigh, setting down his tools, “Are you okay here without me?”
As much as he doesn’t want to leave this behind to deal with whatever Akane is here about, he probably doesn’t have much of a choice. Sitting here isn’t going to be enough to make her walk away. Besides, there is the off chance it’s actually something important - although who know why she needs to come to him of all people. Isn’t there anyone else who can deal with issues. What about Sonia or Byakuya? Surely they’re more equipped to handle whatever this is.
Unfortunately instead of encouraging him to stay Kazuichi just nods happily, “Sure, I didn’t plan for your help originally. Its probably important anyway.”
It better be important.
But despite his internal complaints he gets up without a fuss and heads over. Moving as quickly as he can, he pulls open the door and slips by quick enough to seal the door up behind him before too much of the room can be seen. While Akane tries to lean forwards to peer through the crack, he’s quick enough that she barely gets more than a glimpse before the door is tightly closed again.
She frowns at him suspiciously but he just sighs, pulling on the cuffs of his sleeve nonchalantly.
“It’s Hajime, you know.”
“Eh, whatever. Haji sounds cuter.” She shrugs like it’s the most normal thing in the world.
Is this how names catch on? If so then he’s going to do everything in his power to stop this one. Maybe if it was actually nice it would be fine but it sounds awful. He’s going to make Ibuki pay for this. Giving a nickname to him of all people… Hasn’t he already got enough names for one person?
Trying to distract himself he crosses his arms and begins grilling Akane, “Why did you call me out here?”
“Oh, one of the doctors needs ya.” The way she says it makes it almost sound like and after though. And yet the shot of adrenaline hits him like a truck, running rampant through every inch of his body.
Mikan and Nagito!
Did something happen when he left them?!
He knew he shouldn’t have left Ibuki watching them for the night!
He shouldn’t have left them.
But then, as if his brain is finally turning on, he starts to look over Akane. Her casual posture. The lack of urgency in her voice or words. Was he over thinking? Surely if something had happened with Mikan or Nagito she would be a little more determined. Probably… Honestly the more he thinks, the less sure he is about any of this.
“And you came to Kazuichi’s room because…”
“I checked your room first and I checked with Nagito and Mikan.” He breathes a sigh of relief. They’re okay…they’re okay. A mischievous glint lights up her eyes and she leans in close to whisper to him, “You two are workin’ on somethin’ right? I saw both of ya breakin’ up the machine earlier.”
She was there?! God, he’s gotten too rusty since waking up. How could he have fallen so far that Akane is able to spy on him when he’s not looking? Part of him wants to instantly jump to blaming the Neo World Program for ruining him but after this morning it wouldn’t really be fair… He’s just a faulty product at this point. Barely even able to do the minimum.
Sighing dejectedly he takes a subtle step back from Akane, pushing himself up against the door.
“Yeah, we are. Don’t tell Nagito though. We’re making a surprise prosthetic arm for him so it needs to stay a secret.”
He gives up without much of a fight. It’s not like it has to be a secret. Even if Nagito found out it wouldn’t be much of a problem. But while Akane might not always be the most forward thinking or logical he can probably trust her to keep a secret if nothing else. Maybe he is expecting too much from her but it would probably be even more likely to get out if he didn’t tell her.
“Don’t worry, Haji! You’re secrets safe with me!” She winks at him playfully, repeating the damn name again.
“I hate that name…”
“Too bad. The doctors are downstairs in that livin’ room area. They’re waitin’ for ya.”
Being as forceful as ever she grips his shoulders, forcibly twisting him in the right direction and marching him along at her own pace. He can’t help but feel like he’s being kept prisoner. Marched along to the beat of someone else’s drum. He could fight back but he gives up, relenting to her stubbornness. If he’s needed then he probably should go with her. There’s no point in fighting back.
Only when they reach the stairwell does Akane finally release her hold on him as she shoves him through the doorway. With a cheeky smile and playful wave she stands in the doorway, watching him leave. Rolling his eyes he looks back at her one last time before he heads down into whatever is waiting.
“Thanks Akane.”
And then she’s gone from view.
He’s all alone as he wanders down into the darkness below. No one had bothered getting some decent lighting for this, huh? It feels strange to think about meeting with the doctors outside of the actual medical area. It would be stupid to think they only ever live in those examination rooms but that doesn’t make actually meeting with them in a neutral area any less uncomfortable. It’s easier to just pretend he’ll never have to see them if he stays away from medical centers.
He’s not sure what he’s expecting as he approaches the communal area. Maybe a group of them all crowded around, ready to cart him off somewhere. Maybe the future foundation trying to lure them all out. Maybe just another surprise medical examination.
But he certainly isn’t expecting a single doctor, sat on the couch with a phone sat awkwardly on the coffee table in front of him. It’s not the doctor he’s used to seeing carting Mikan, Nagito, and Fuyuhiko about and it’s not the doctor that had done all their examinations after everyone woke up but he does recognise the man. He had been one of the people in the surgery rooms. They had never spoken but at least he’s a familiar face if nothing else.
Still Hajime doesn’t dare move forward. He remains firmly by the doorway, keeping the doctor in full view at all times.
“Hello? I heard you needed me.” He calls out, clenching his jaw and hardening his gaze.
“Ah yes. Izuru Kamukura, right?”
“Yeah. What’s this about?”
And then the doctor says the last thing Hajime had been expecting to hear, “Makoto Naegi asked to be put through to you.”
“Naegi? He’s in contact?”
Is he secretly watching them or something? The timing after their meeting yesterday almost feels too convenient. Just when they start seriously discussing if they need to leave this happens. Of course it’s good to hear that he’s not vanished off the face of the earth but the suspicion is impossible to ignore.
“Yes, are you going to question everything I say?”
He doesn’t bother holding back his scowl. It’s not like he can’t understand the view of this guy and his coworkers but their attitude doesn’t make them any more likable. If they’re going to treat him like this then he’s not putting in the effort for them either.
Holding out a hand he grimaces, “Look, just give me the phone. And can I get some privacy?”
He half expects the guy to just ignore him and demand to be present but instead he gets up and forcibly presses the phone into Hajime’s hand. Hajime doesn’t even need to twist his arm before he’s stalked out of the room, closing the door behind him.
Hmmm…that was…easy?
Nevertheless he shakes his head and brings the receiver up to his ear, “Naegi?”
For a few seconds it’s just silent crackling but then a familiar voice echoes into the receiver.
“Ah, you’re here. I was getting worried we wouldn’t have time to talk.” Even with the crackle of the machine distorting his voice he sounds as chipper as ever. Unmistakably Naegi. Even just that small chunk of familiarity is somewhat comforting.
“Sorry, I was just busy working on something so it took a few minutes for them to pass the message onto me.”
“That’s okay.”
“Is everything going okay?” He asks, the knot in his stomach growing minute by minute.
With Naegi being the way he is it’s impossible to tell what sort of news this is going to be. Logically his mind tells him it has to be good - after all he sounds so happy and isn’t in a rush to give information. But then again given who he’s talking to he can’t use that kind of logic. His hope could keep him sounding positive even if the situation wasn’t great.
“Ummmm…yeah.” The uncertain words certainly don’t dissuade his fears, “I guess so. The future foundation still haven’t caught up with me yet. Kyoko and Byakuya have already headed back to them to meet with Hina and Hiro.”
“Are they all okay?”
He’s not sure if he even wants to know. It’s not like he likes them - he barely knows them after all. They’re not the sorts of people that could be friends with someone like him. And yet it’s impossible to feel completely apathetic with people like them. Kirigiri had done more than she needed to for someone like him and she isn’t even insanely illogical like Naegi. Not to mention the kindness Asahina had treated him with - even in spite of knowing who he was.
“I don’t really know… They can’t contact me at the moment so it’s been radio silence. I believe in them though. They’re smart and resourceful so they’ll be able to look after themselves.”
Believe… It’s the same damn thing he had told everyone else yesterday. These things are out of their power so they do their best to make themselves feel better by relying on belief. Tricking themselves. And yet he has nothing else to offer. If nothing else at least they have Togami and Kirigiri. If anyone is able to successfully handle the future foundation then it would be them.
“That’s good then.”
Awkwardly clearing his throat, Naegi quickly changes the topic. Hajime could swear he can hear the other by shuffling about slowly even through the low quality receiver, “How are things going with you though? I hope you’ve had more luck than us.”
“We were able to wake everyone up without any issues.”
He sticks strictly to the facts. Even if things are feeling like they’re falling apart they have successfully woken them up if nothing else. That has to count for something. Maybe they have been too focused on the negativity of the things that have been going wrong without giving enough weight to the miracle they did manage.
“That’s great news! They’re all doing okay then?”
Okay? He holds back a snort. Now that’s a loaded question.
“Yes, mostly. A few of them needed surgery but they’ve not had issues with recovery yet. The doctors are keeping them cooped up in the patient room.”
He’s honestly not sure how much he has been kept informed by the doctors. Based on his reactions so far it feels like they’ve all been completely in the dark but even then that’s hard to believe. If nothing else he surely remembers the state those some of them have been and he’s smart enough to piece together what surgeries must have been needed.
“I see…”
“But…” He takes a heavy breath. Is he really going to say this? No, he has to. He can trust Naegi so he should be completely transparent. Who knows, maybe he’ll be able to help somehow. Bracing himself he continues, “But… I am a little worried about their mental health. We’ve been doing what we can to try and unite everyone but tensions are just running a little high.”
“That’s understandable given everything.”
“I’m worried it’s just going to get worse though as time goes on. A few of them have already shown that they want to leave this place.”
This entire place might as well just be a powder keg ready to blow. He’s not sure when it’s going to happen but at some point a spark is going to land that he can’t put out. And then…
“You can’t let them leave!” Naegi practically shouts down the receiver. Desperation etched into every part of his voice.
“What do you think I’m doing?” He hisses through clenched teeth, his hand curling into a fist at his side.
“I’ll do everything I can but I can’t hide you guys if you wander out into the world.”
“You think I don’t know that?” He snaps a little too forcefully. It’s only when he hears he sharp silence on the other end that he takes a deep breath, trying to reset, “Look, how long do you need us here for? If I have something I can tell them then maybe it will settle them.”
“I…I don’t know. It’s impossible to be sure.”
“I doubt that’s going to make them feel better.” He rolls his eyes.
He can only imagine how the others would take it if they knew there’s no end in sight. Locked up in here unable to do anything to protect themselves for the rest of their lives. No, he needs something else to give them. Anything else. Something that can make a difference.
“Look, the ultimate therapist is in the future foundation at the moment. I will see if I can get her on side and send her over to you. But for now just let them know we’re in contact and things are going well so far.”
He wants to laugh. The ultimate therapist just waltzing in…that would definitely go well. Even if Naegi could pull it off without getting the future foundation raining down on them it would be like pulling teeth to get anyone to open up the the ultimate therapist of all people. No matter how good she is as a therapist.
He doesn’t say anything of that though. Not right now. There are a lot more bridges they need to cross before they even get there.
“Fine, fine… Is there anything -?”
He never get the chance to finish his question though. From the other side of the phone he can hear a loud horn blaring. Any thoughts he had had before are shattered. He has to move his head away from the phone to protect his ears so he can only imagine how Naegi is right now.
As soon as Naegi starts speaking again he is practically tripping over his own words. Each one shot out like a bullet from a machine gun, “Sorry, I need to get going now. You’re all doing great though so just try to hold strong. Hopefully we’ll be able to find a more permanent solution soon…”
“…Okay…”
A pause. Silence. And then…
“And Kamukura…”
“Yes?”
“You can call me Makoto.”
And with that Makoto hangs up and Hajime is left alone in the living room.
Chapter 25: 19th of May
Summary:
After a nightmare Hajime wakes to a very sudden visitor
Chapter Text
“Hajimeeee!” A voice calls out to him. It’s soft and melodious. More of a sing-song than an actual voice. A lullaby beckoning him close.
“Hajime!” He could swear he recognises that voice from somewhere… “Hajime.”
His brain is covered in a thick fog. No matter how much he tries to pry open his eyes, he can’t. It’s like his body refuses to follow his mind. They’ve been severed from one another. Strings cut off of him.
He’s trapped there, unable to move as a soft warm hand interlocks with his own. For a moment he is certain it’s Junko. Who else would it be? But the hand is missing her sharp nails. It isn’t manicured. It isn’t perfect and cold, it’s soft and warm. The skin of the finger tips is slightly smoother than the rest. Nails are neatly cut back to the bed.
Without his consent, his hand curls around the hand. Completely encasing it. Protecting it. Squeezing onto it.
“Hajime play this with me!”
The hand pulls away from him and he chases after it for a moment before a cool controller is shoved into his hands instead. Laughter echos around him, emanating from the soft voice which is still just out of reach.
His hands move on their own, gliding over the controls with ease. Not even thinking twice before every motion. It feels so easy. So natural. So normal.
“You’re going to win, as usual.” His own voice interrupts. Somehow his voice sounds different. Gentler. Happier. Almost as warm as the other one. Yet there’s still no doubt it’s his own voice.
“You never know.”
“I think we both know you’re going to win.”
“But it’s not about winning. It’s about having fun!” The voice takes on a playful tone, practically giggling to itself.
With every word spoke he feels like he recognises the voice more and more. Yet no matter how much he thinks, its always just out of reach. Right there but too far for him to put his finger on it.
“Okay, okay, okay…”
Laughter shatters through him. Echoing up his chest. Filling his heart. His body. His mind. Everything.
Sure he might not be able to control his body or anything else but he feels lighter now than he ever has before. Like he’s floating in an endless void. His stomach does cartwheels as he free floats but that doesn’t stop him smiling.
Finally he manages to pry open his eyes but as soon as he does the warm feeling is shattered. The soft laughter immediately dissipates. The controller he had been holding is no longer there. He’s left holding nothing. Standing alone.
Not quite alone.
Cold sharp hands run along his shoulders. Tight fingers digging into his trapezium. Practically cutting into his skin.
Even though his eyes are open he’s just staring into a dark and empty room. There’s no furniture. No decorations. No paint on the walls. Just dingy gray as far as the eye can see.
“Izuruuuuu.” Poison drips into his ear, sending goosebumps all the way down his spine, “Come with me Izuuuuu.”
A weight drops onto his back, soft and viscous lips pressed up to his ear. Sharp roaming hands slithering across his body. The pressing weight of her body pushing harshly into his back. Her face is hidden behind him so he can’t quite see her but he can see her thick blonde hair draping over him. Tumbling over his shoulder and trickling down past his chest.
And then he snaps awake.
~~~
19/05 - 01:02
At first he’s not sure what wakes him up. Everything seems still and silent. Nothing out of place. Yet he’s awake. Was it the nightmare? But his heart feels strangely steady this time. No thundering in his ears. No sweat soaked sheets.
Laying there he tries to focus on his dream before it disappears. Clinging onto the last memories of it. In the past he had thought the idea of a dream journal was stupid but right here and now he’s starting to see the appeal.
He’s so caught up in his own thoughts he doesn’t even notice the soft calling coming from the door at first. It’s so quiet you could easily mistake it for a breeze brushing the door. Cautiously he drags himself out of bed, creeping closer and closer to the door. All the while he focuses all his attention on the sound, straining his ears to be sure he’s actually hearing something.
“H-Hajime…” The voice is joined by a gentle tapping on the door, “Hajime…are you awake…? Hajime.” It’s so quiet he can’t actually make out who it is. Barely a breath.
Straightening out and rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, he pulls open the door to examine who’s on the other side. He’s expecting Sonia or Ibuki or Fuyuhiko. Maybe even Mikan or Akane. But instead he sees none other than Hiyoko. Her kimono is hanging off of her awkwardly - more draped than tied - and her cheeks are stained and flushed. Instead of having her hair tied up in a pony tail or even in pigtails, its loose and hanging free. The long locks completely cover her bare shoulder.
“Hiyoko!” He gasps, flinching back from the doorway.
“Can…can I come…in?” She asks between silent sniffles. As she does so she tries to wipe her eyes with her hands, while also trying to hold her kimono up. Trying and failing at both.
“Of course.”
He doesn’t hesitate to step back, holding the door open for her to slink through. Pulling her kimono as tight as possible, she shuffles in and throws herself down next to Hajime’s bed, burying her face into the mattress. Uncertain of what to do, he stands next to the open door for a few seconds just watching her. She doesn’t say anything though. She doesn’t even look back towards him. The entire time her face stays buried, her body still shaking violently.
Of course she has grown over the last few years so she no longer resembles the girl from the Neo World Program, but right here and now, as she sit there hunched over, she doesn’t look a day older. Especially with her hair splayed out like a fan around her head on the bed.
Moving slowly, he gently closes the door, wincing at the sound of it clicking shut. She doesn’t seem to notice though. Never once turning or even shifting, even as Hajime wanders over to her side to sit down right next to her. He makes sure to keep an arms length between them. Still nothing.
“Hiyoko…” He calls out to her cautiously, “What’s wrong?”
It’s only then that she shifts ever so slightly. Although she doesn’t lift her head up completely, she does twist it to the side. Instead of burying her face, her arms become more like a pillow so she can watch him. The entire time she’s biting her quivering lip, tears still freshly streaming down her face even now.
Eventually she manages to stutter out a few words between sniffles, “I…I…Please don’t laugh…”
“Don’t worry, I swear I won’t laugh.”
But even with his reassurance she doesn’t move an inch. With her eyes swimming like that he doubts she can see a thing but her eyes stay locked on him anyway. Trying to read him. Analyse him. Only when she turns her head to face the opposite way does she finally explain.
“I…I…I can’t tie my kimono.” She chokes on the words. He might not be able to see her face but he doesn’t need to to know exactly what she looks like right now.
“I wouldn’t laugh at that, do you want me to tie it for you?”
He waits without moving until he sees the slightest nod of her head. Bit by bit she sits upright, clutching the fabric around her desperately. Having stood up first Hajime holds his hand out to her but he’s taken aback when she grabs onto it without a second thought. He’s not exactly surprised to find it shaking violently but he holds onto it tightly anyway. Letting him do all the heavy lifting to get back to her feet.
Even after her growth spurt he’s still a little taller than her. Trying to come across as non threatening as possible (and to give him a better angle to work with) he kneels down in front of her. Closing his eyes he lets her readjust the kimono before starting the tying process.
But despite his best efforts to make his movements clear and slow, she still flinches every single time he moves. Her jumpiness makes it considerably harder to keep the knot secure but he stays quiet. Focusing as hard as he can on reducing their contact as much as possible.
In spite of her jumpiness she stays completely silent through the whole process. Her body stiff as a board (when she’s not jerking away) up until the very end. Only when he reaches up to carefully straighten out her collar does she whimper, fully jumping backwards until she’s out of Hajime’s range. The unspilt tears that had been building up suddenly begin falling all at once.
“Hiyoko -”
“I don’t…I don’t…know what’s wrong with me…”
Even though her kimono is fully tied up now she still clings onto it as if it’s going to fall away at any second. Her arms wrap around herself, forming a firm shield. Either that or a soothing blanket which smothers her.
After the way she had been flinching earlier he holds his ground as she slowly drops to her knees. The kimono pools around her and the long sleeves droop on the floor unceremoniously. All grace is gone. In her over sized kimono she looks younger than ever before.
Although he doesn’t want to close the distance between them, he does still lower himself to her level. But instead of falling into a heap, he sits cross legged patiently. The entire time he keeps his hands fully exposed, resting on his knees.
“What do you mean?”
Gone are the silent sniffles from earlier, now she’s heaving in breaths just like she had been when she first woke up, “I learnt how to tie my kimono years ago…Mahiru taught me…I…I…n-never had any…problems after that.” Her voice breaks but she looks up, meeting Hajime's eyes. “But now I can’t do it even though I stood in front of the mirror for hours…”
His stomach feels hollow listening to her. After everything in the Neo World Program he hadn’t even thought twice about her not being adept with the kimono. And yet it makes sense. If years had passed of course she would have learnt at some point.
As terrible as it sounds, he can’t help but feel somewhat relieved. At least he wasn’t the only one who’s come out of the Neo World Program with his mind out of sorts. Missing information. A jumbled mind.
“Your mind’s been through a lot. I don’t think you need to worry. Maybe you just need to teach yourself again. Why don’t you go back to Mahiru if she taught you before?” He uses his most comforting voice, praying it will be enough but Hiyoko’s lip only wobbles more. More tears. More redness creeping up her neck.
“I…” Her eyes dart downwards, avoiding eye contact at all costs, “I just don’t want to bother her.” It doesn’t take a genius to know she’s lying but he doesn’t bother saying anything.
Surely Mahiru would be more than willing to help the woman. It wouldn’t be the first time - quite the opposite by the sounds of things. If anyone was going to be there for Hiyoko ready to jump in it would be Mahiru. And yet Hiyoko is here in his room. For some reason beyond his comprehension she chose his room of all rooms to knock on in the dead of night. Hell, even now he has no idea what time it is.
Taking up the mantle he sits up straight and speaks with a firm tone, “I can try to teach you then.”
“You…you would do that?”
“Sure, why not.”
How hard can it be? Since he was already able to do the ‘hard part’ of actually tying it then teaching it should be easy. Even if it is Hiyoko. Besides they don’t need to do it all in one night. They can take as long as they need to.
As Hiyoko lays on the floor, wiping her eyes with her sleeve, Hajime gets up and slowly walks around to the bathroom. He had been intending to grab the mirror but only now does he remember the giant crack running across the surface. Sure, they could probably still use it, it’s not like you can’t see past it, but he probably doesn’t want her asking questions about it. Besides, having the clearest surface possible would probably be better. So instead he simply grabs some toilet roll and leaves the room.
“Here, use this. You don’t want to ruin your kimono after all.” He makes sure she’s looking up at him before he chucks the toilet paper over to her.
At first she just sits there, staring at the roll as if she’s never seen one before. Her nose wrinkles up softly but eventually she pulls a few sheet free with a weak tug and begins scrubbing her face again.
“Th-Thanks…”
“You’re welcome. If we’re going to learn how to tie it then we should probably use a mirror. Mine’s not in the best shape so can we use yours?” He asks tentatively, scratching the back of his neck. But much to his relief she doesn’t even bother questioning the state of his mirror.
“Um…okay.”
“I can go and grab it myself if you want to relax for a minute.”
She doesn’t verbally respond but she gives the smallest nod possible which he figures is consent enough. Especially as she doesn’t make any moves to stop him as he head off towards the door. For a moment he considers just bringing her with him and helping her in her own room but she could probably do with a moment on her own. Besides, maybe she would be more comfortable without having him in her private space.
So without much more thought he ploughs onwards, heading over to Hiyoko’s room. Sure enough it’s unlocked as he approaches it and the door swings open without much issue. He does his best not to look around, keeping his head facing down to the ground as he walks through. He doubts there’s even anything in the room - it’s not like they got given many personal effects - but it still feels wrong to look without her permission.
He only raises his head when he reaches the bathroom as he carefully pulls the mirror up, lifting it from the wall. Despite the size it’s relatively easy to carry - the shape is more awkward than anything else. Soon enough he’s maneuvered out of the room and down the corridor, setting the mirror down on the floor in front of his dresser for them both to look at. Pulling out draws he adjusts the height of the mirror, resting it on the open draws to give it some extra height. Only when everything is set up properly does he head back over to Hiyoko.
“Hiyoko, are you ready to have a go at learning?”
Even though he can’t have been gone longer than a few minutes, she already looks slightly better than she had before. Although she’s now surrounded by a sea of scrunched up tissues, her cheeks at least look dry. Her eyes might still be bloodshot and the pink still hasn’t faded from her cheeks but at least she’s not breathing as heavily and there are no fresh tears.
Half-heartedly sweeping the tissues under his bed with her foot (as if he somehow can’t see her doing it right in front of him) she slinks over towards him. Together they stand in front of the mirror working diligently.
Given the small space they have to work with in front of the mirror he does his best to give her space, while also pointing out what she needs to do. He quickly finds himself wishing they were still in the Neo World Program where they still had extra copies of all their clothes. It would be so much easier if they could both do it at the same time but he will just have to make do with what he has. It’s not like they can do anything about it.
Despite knowing that circumstances are different to the last time he stood before a mirror, he still bites his tongue and avoids looking at his own reflection. Blocking out everything other than Hiyoko. This isn't the time to get caught up in his own mind. Hiyoko needs all his attention and that's what he's going to give her.
The longer they work, the more and more frustrated Hiyoko grows. Her enthusiasm dissipates within a few minutes and within twenty minutes she’s huffing and pouting. The pink in her cheeks might be gone but it’s only been replaced by a righteous red.
“This is impossible.” She growls, angrily blowing her hair out of her face. Both hands are on her hips, hair falling limply back in front of her face.
“No, it’s not.”
“It is!” She turns her nose up, crossing her arms grumpily. Like a pouting toddler she turns her back on him, throwing the cord down unceremoniously.
It takes all he has not to laugh at the scene. He gets the feeling she wouldn’t appreciate that - no matter how funny she looks now, pouty lip and all.
He doesn’t bother chasing after her. Staying firmly in front of the mirror, waiting for her to return to his side, “No, it’s not. You already learnt before so you can definitely learn again.” He keeps an eye on her through the mirror. Tracking her as she paces about.
“This is stupid.”
“We can stop if you want.”
For a moment she freezes where she is. Even her hands don't twitch. Nothing moves at all. In the quiet of the room he can hear the cogs turning in her head. The longer the silence goes on for, the more he thinks she’s going to up and leave instead.
But much to his surprise when she turns around she answers, “No.”
After that, although she groans and grumbles with every failure, she doesn’t try to leave. He can see the frustration brewing in every clenched jaw and muttered hiss. Yet the dam holds.
The longer and longer they go, the easier her fingers flow. The more graceful every movement. The closer they get.
And then she does it.
And she does it again.
And again.
“I did it?”
“Yes you did.”
“I did it.” She lets out a breathy sigh. A half laugh escapes her lips before she locks it down, not wanting to get too excited too quickly.
“Uh huh.”
“Of course I did it.” She flicks her hair over her shoulder nonchalantly. Her smug smile is so convincing that if he hadn’t seen her seconds ago he might even believe it. Lots of practice, clearly.
He’s not sure how much time they’ve wasted stood here. It must have been at least an hour but yet again he finds himself wishing he had a clock in his room he could check. Considering they’re just tying a kimono, an hour is probably too long but even that knowledge can’t smother the pride swelling in his chest. Regardless of how long he took he’s just glad they got here.
After all this he has a newfound respect for Mahiru.
Laughing to herself, she spins and allows herself to fall down onto his bed. Rolling onto her back, she giggles uncontrollably. Looking up at him as he grins. Her long hair is knotted and tousled around her after all the pulling and huffing earlier but she either hasn’t noticed or she couldn’t care less.
Slowly her laughter dies down but her grin remains smugly planted on her lips. As she meets his eyes she tilts her head slightly to the side. Looking at him with different eyes.
“Your hair is different now…”
“Huh?”
“You had that long black hair before.”
He chuckles slightly, a hand reaching up to run through his hair. It’s not exactly a subtle change. Perhaps for people like Hiyoko who have only seen him like this since waking up from the program it feels far less sudden.
“Oh, that…yeah, I wanted to change it up.” He tries to give a casual shrug as he slowly sinks down onto the mattress, sitting side by side with her.
“You look more like you did back then now. Except the your eye…was it always like that…?” As she points to each of his eyes in turn her nose scrunches up. Wrinkles completely taking over her forehead.
For once he has absolutely no idea what she's on about. The hair is one thing but eyes…? Instinctively his hands fly up to his face but everything seems normal. Normally he'd just ignore her but…
Shaking his head he tries to pull them both back on track, “I think it looks better, don’t you?”
She doesn’t even need to take a second to reply, “Yeah…definitely.”
As stupid as it might sound, those words send a warmth through his body. What she thinks shouldn’t matter at all but that doesn’t change his instinctive reaction.
Looking down at her he can’t hold himself back any longer. Sighing he holds out a hand and beckons her upright, “Here, let me sort out your hair.”
“My hair?”
“Yeah, it’s a mess. If you’re going to wear your nice kimono then let me tie it back.” He nods down at the small cat hair tie that he noticed around her wrist earlier.
Instead of turning him down she slowly drags herself up and she spins around so her back faces him. For a few seconds she just pulls on the hair band, letting it slap back and hit her wrist before she finally pulls it off and passes it over to him.
“What hair style do you want?” Gently pulling back her hair, he runs fingers through it tenderly. Being as careful as he can, he separates out the knots, avoiding pulling as much as possible.
“Hmmm…give me a plait.”
He would be lying if he said he hadn’t been expecting her to ask for her usual ponytail. Either way he’s happy to sit there and work on her hair. Although she’s tense the entire time, she’s still humming something indistinguishable.
“Don’t laugh at me but -”
He instantly pauses, still holding her hair, “Hiyoko, I promise I’m not going to laugh at anything you say. You’re not saying anything silly.”
“You haven’t heard what I’m saying yet...”
“I already know for a fact it’s not going to be silly. You don’t need to worry about me laughing.” Sighing, he goes back to plaiting, waiting patiently to hear her response.
“Okay…okay.” She mumbles, probably rolling her eyes but without being able to see he can’t be sure, “Since waking up, do you feel like your body…is….wrong?”
“Wrong?”
Grumbling she rubs her face, frustration etched into her voice, “I’m not saying it right…I just keep stubbing my toe and bumping into things and my balance has been all off. It feel like I’m in someone else’s body…but it’s mine. I know it’s my body.”
Every word she speaks strikes a chord in him. Even just hearing it makes his stomach twist uncomfortably. He should have realised that of all the people would feel this way.
Yet even as she explains she fiddles with her own hands in her lap. He can hear every harsh, awkward as she anxiously shuffles side to side.
Smoothing down her hair he replies with a simple, “Why do you think I changed my hair?”
At once she deflates. Without any warning she whips around, not caring when he hair is ripped out of Hajime's hands. All the progress that had been made with the plait is lost as the loose weaves unravel in the blink of an eye.
“It’s not just me losing my mind then?”
“No…” He gives up on Hiyoko's plait, grabbing some of his own hair slightly to show off his surgery scar, “Do you see this?”
“A scar?”
“Yeah, from my surgery. Even looking at it makes me feel kind of sick. Sometimes it feels like my head is being carved open from here when I think too much about my memories - especially ones inside the Neo World Program.” Every word burns as it comes out but he doesn’t relent. Not if this is what she needs to hear right now.
Sighing he releases his hair and slowly gets up. He can feel Hiyoko watching him as he crosses the room towards the bathroom door. But instead of stepping in, he simply leans against the door frame. From here he can look in at his own reflection in the shattered mirror. Disorganized pieces laying side by side. Broken fragments splitting up his body.
“I doubt all the others had exactly the same feeling but our bodies were so different in the Neo World Program so it makes sense to have a little trouble adjusting.” Hiyoko hangs off his every word. Not a single breath passing her lips.
It’s not just him and Hiyoko though is it? The image of Nagito remains fresh in his memory. Cradling his arm in the sling. What about Fuyuhiko and Nekomaru who were mutilated within the program themselves? And what about Akane?
“Will it get better…?”
“Yes.” Despite how certain his words sound it’s all one big lie, “We just need to give it some time for us to get used to the feeling of these bodies again. You’ll feel better soon.”
He has to assume it will get better with time. If it doesn’t then what is there? There’s nothing else he can tell her. Nothing comforting at least. They were the first ones to go through the Neo World Program so there’s no other data to rely on. But he has to assume it’s just like going through a ‘normal’ amputation or surgery where it just takes time to adjust. That’s what he chooses to believe.
“Thanks…I guess I should go now.” Hiyoko gently rubs her arm with one hand but she doesn’t make any other moves. She doesn’t even get up off the bed. She just sits there. Waiting.
Is he supposed to be doing something? Arguing with his own mind, he allows the question that has been on his mind to slip out. It’s probably a horrible idea but how long can he really ignore the elephant in the room.
“As nice as it has been to see you, why did you come to my room? If you wanted help with your kimono why not go to Mahiru?”
“I -”
Holding up a hand, he stops her before she’s even begun, “I know, you said you didn’t want to bother her. There was more to that though. I know you were holding something back.”
For a few seconds they just stare at each other. Waiting for the other person to relent. To back down. To lose. But they are both too stubborn. Too determined.
Eventually Hiyoko is the one who snaps. Her shoulders slump. Like a puppet with her strings cut, she simply collapses in on herself. Falling to pieces.
“I think she’s getting sick of me…” Instead of crying or getting angry she just sounds…tired. Dejected. All the wind has been removed from her sails Everything has been drained away. And as she speaks she only scratches at her arm harder. Cutting into the skin at times.
“Mahiru getting sick of you? That seems impossible.”
It seems preposterous to even think about. There have been a million times when Mahiru could have abandoned Hiyoko and yet she was still here. What could have changed? He had seen the way she jumped in to help Hiyoko when the woman first woke up. The idea of her dropping off now just doesn’t make sense.
But the tiredness has been quickly replaced by another feeling as Hiyoko begins snapping at him, “You don’t need to lie to me. We all know it would make sense. I’m going crazy!” But even now she doesn’t stop scratching at her arm. If he didn’t know her he would think she was trying to peel the very skin off her bones.
“You’re not going crazy.”
“Don’t lie.” She growls ferociously. Her skin turning deep red.
He has no idea what he can even say to convince her once she has this in her head. Many things have been happening but he wouldn’t call them crazy. If that’s crazy then they would all just be crazy at this point. Actually…maybe that’s not so far from the truth.
“I’m not lying.” Sighing, he softens his voice. Trying a slightly different approach, “Why do you think she is getting sick of you?”
“She’s avoiding me…even when we are together she doesn’t talk much anymore…”
He thinks back to the dark and empty room Hiyoko had been sitting in the other day when he dropped off the kimono. They had all been assuming the two were hanging out in the same room all the time like Fuyuhiko and Peko but he supposes there was never actual evidence of that. Maybe they really have both just been locked up alone like Teruteru since waking up.
For some reason that thought sends a dull ache through his body.
“Everyone’s just struggling with everything they’ve been through. Mahiru is no different.” But despite his best efforts the words sound hollow.
All of them are recovering - even those of them that didn’t actually die in the game. Perhaps expecting Mahiru to look after Hiyoko on top of everything she’s dealing with had been unfair. Not that anything is fair about this situation.
“Maybe…”
“Why did you come to me though of all people? I thought you would hate me.”
It’s not like he’s been on her side as much as he imagines she would want. Hell, after their conversation at the meeting he assumed that he would be the last person on her list. Then again, who would Hiyoko go to? It’s not like she has loads of friends. Once upon a time he assumes she would have gone to Ibuki… However now with Ibuki taking Mikan’s side she would be off the table. Sonia? Akane? Nekomaru? Who is she actually friends with? After spending years with them she must have made friends with some people other than Ibuki and Mahiru.
It feels like it takes minutes for Hiyoko to answer but it could have just been seconds. His sense of time has been well and truly screwed with at this point. When she does answer it’s barely more than a whisper on the wind, “Is it true?”
“Is what true?”
“What you said earlier? Did Junko not brainwash you? You don’t seem the same now as you were before.”
Of course it was going to come to this conversation. Given everything that has gone on he sometimes struggles to keep track of who was actually aware of everything. It’s not like they exactly sat down and talked about their histories when they were all working together.
Taking a deep breath, his hands curl into fists in his legs. Nails dragging against the fabric as he fights against his own shaky voice.
“You saw the scar. Hopes Peak did brain surgeries on me to change me as a person and to get rid of all my old memories and thoughts. So yeah, Junko didn’t have to brainwash me to get me to work with her.”
He's not sure what response he was expecting but instead of shouting at him or throwing him a look of pity she just mumbles a single question, “What do you remember from before?”
“Nothing. I remember waking up from the chamber they were ‘making’ me in but nothing before that. The only parts I remember of being Hajime was my time in the Neo World Program.” He gives her a casual shrug, but even he doesn’t think he’s actually fooling her with his nonchalant attitude.
“Must be weird.”
He chuckles involuntarily, leaning back into the pillows until he’s fully laying down just like Hiyoko had been earlier, “You don’t need to tell me.”
“Mahiru told me that the Chiaki in there was just an AI but she was once a real person you know…”
“I know…” He bristles slightly.
Visions of the recent dream he had almost forgotten suddenly flood his mind. Rushing back all at once. Just when he thinks he’s escaped thoughts and memories of her they’re all dragged right back up. And to think he had once been worried all trace of her existence would disappear…
“Did they tell you about her?”
“Sort of. Sonia told me a lot of stories.”
“Of course she did.” Hiyoko sighs and rolls her eyes at that.
There’s no point in him keeping his knowledge a secret though. He’s already told other people so what’s wrong with talking to Hiyoko about it. With her it’s impossible to tell how she will take it though. Knowing he was right there and he did nothing to stop Chiaki dying. He couldn’t even give her comfort in her last desperate moments.
Shaking his head, he opens his mouth and finally explains, “But I actually remember her a little myself.”
“But you said -”
“Her and Nagito snuck into Junko’s ‘lair’ once before…the end…and I saw her then. I was also with her when she died.”
Her last desperate clawing. Her weak body crawling towards him. Her bloodied hand reaching up to him. That damn pin. Her bright pink blood dripping across the floor. Pooling. Growing. Dying. It’s all ingrained into his mind.
Logically he knows he’s still laying here next to Hiyoko but in the darkness of the room he could swear he can see her body slowly moving towards him. He can hear her whimpers still hanging in the air… Even now he’s awake he can’t escape the memories.
“When she…died…?”
Shaking his head to try and chase away the memories he turns towards Hiyoko, “I didn’t see her…with you guys. But I was down in that place. I was effectively locked down there until Hopes Peak fell into chaos.”
“So you were with her when she made her plans…”
It feels so strange to think back on that time now. After everything that has happened since then, it really shouldn’t stand out. Being cloaked in darkness, sealed up in a single room waiting for something, anything, to happen. Watching Mikan, Mitarai, Junko and Mukuro gathered around the slowly pulsating computer screen. It was barely even noteworthy in the grand scheme of things.
He can still clearly recall the boredom that filled him with every passing second. Yet the longer he stays here with everyone, the sharper the memories become. What had once been a numb and fuzzy recollection, now feels heavy and hard within his mind.
Something gnaws at the memory deep inside of him. Cutting into it harshly.
“Yes. I was with her when she was breaking down Mikan. And Yukizome. And when she made all of her videos. I was always there. Do you see why I said I thought you would hate me?”
“Hmmmm…”
She doesn’t look at him anymore. Instead she fiddles with her hair on her own. Weakly trying to plait it with fumbling fingers. Her clumsy hands can barely keep control of the three strands, letting them fall apart before they’re even weaved together. Small pieces stick out of the plait. Flying away wildly, ruining her usual picture of elegance.
Part of him instinctively wants to jump in and sort it out for her but he holds himself back. No matter how pathetic her attempts are, he doesn’t dare say a word. He doesn’t even sit up from where he’s laying.
Only when she finishes with her hair does she finally move. The sad excuse for a plait swings at her back as she gets up and begins cross the room towards the bedroom door. With every swing more pieces of hair break free, forming a frizzy mane around her.
But even as she begins leaving the room he doesn’t make any moves to stop her. It’s for the best. He doesn’t even say anything. He just keeps looking up at the ceiling, trying to keep out of his own head.
“Thank you…Hajime…”
His brain is so jumbled that at first he thinks he’s mishearing her. It doesn’t make any sense. But when he lifts his head up to look at her he notices her slight smile. She’s not looking at him, her head tilted down at her feet as she stands in the doorway but even with her hair slightly obscuring her face she can’t quite hide the ever so slight
“It’s okay.”
And the bedroom door closes behind her.
Her mirror is still sat in his room but he doesn’t bother calling after her. He can set it outside her room in the morning - whenever that is now.
Instead he slowly gets up and finds the suit he had unceremoniously left piled on top of his dresser. Searching desperately, he digs into the pockets until he feels the familiar tough surface. Gripping onto it as hard as he can. he slowly pulls out his hand, examining the small pin inside his fist.
Even in the darkness of the room it seems to glint. Catching the tiniest amount of light that exists in this space. The colours have slightly faded over the years but it’s still clearly the same galaga pin that haunts his dreams. Small flecks of pink are still staining the surface - even to this day.
Even though touching it makes his stomach churn and gurgle dangerously he doesn’t dare let go. He just stands there in front of the mirror. Swaying ever so slightly as his breath hitches. There is no one else in the room anymore and yet, somehow, he still feels likes he's being stared at from all sides.
As his finger absentmindedly traces over the surface, he drops his hands back to his sides. Only then does his look up, meeting his own reflection in the mirror once more.
It's then that he sees it. The room might be dark but there is no mistaking the sight before his very eyes. Instead of the sharp red eyes he has grown accustomed to seeing reflected right back at him, he's greeted by a different sight. He can't look away from the one soft green eye shimmering in the darkness, gripping the pin tighter and tighter. Letting the sharp sting drown everything else away.
Chapter 26: 20th of May
Summary:
Hajime is still reeling as he tries to figure out his next steps
Chapter Text
20/05 - 04:23
His feet pad against the cold ground. Every step shuddering through his body. Maybe he should have put on some shoes but he can’t be bothered to care right now. Not when silent and empty corridors stretch out before him. There’s only one place he is going though.
However, this time as he steps into the Neo World Program room there is no one lying in wait. Just to be sure he does a quick once over, checking behind every machine. But sure enough there’s no one - not even Kazuichi - in here. He’s all alone. Which means he’s free to do whatever he needs to.
Much to his relief, his chamber is still in one piece. His hadn’t been one of the ones torn up during Kazuichi’s crusade. While he assumes it would be no problem to use someone elses, it feels far more comforting to use his own. Returning to lay in it once more almost feel like going home at this point. A familiar soothing feeling as darkness washes over him.
Once again he’s dragged into the Neo World Program.
He doesn’t need to open his eyes to know when the world has changed this time. Before anything else has shifted he can smell the salty tang on the air and feel the soft breeze brushing through his hair. Not to mention the warm and soft sand forming a bed underneath him. The smooth and hard surface of the chamber long gone.
When his eyes open he has to sit there looking out for a few seconds. Seeing bright blue sky above him feels like a shock after holding their outdoor party.
Before this place had felt all too real but now it just looks too…perfect. The bright sparkling blue is too clear. Golden sand underfoot looks too untouched and still to be real. Not to mention the soft way the sun shines up in the sky. Too big. Too bright. Too soothing. It’s hard to reconcile with the gloomy red sky he knows is waiting for him outdoors.
“You’re back again Kamukura?”
At once his head snaps to the side. Instinctively seeking out the sound even though he knows all too well who will be standing there.
Sure enough the AI is sat on the beach, legs drawn up close to his chest. Head resting on his knees tenderly. It hasn’t been long since he last saw Alter Ego but somehow he looks so different now. While he can’t put his finger on what, the soft glow that seems to surround him takes Hajime aback. Soft colours kissing his cheeks that hints at a non-existent warmth radiating from his body. The sun streaming through his hair almost makes it look like a halo.
Although the rest of the world seems far less real than the last time he was here, he has to keep reminding himself Alter Ego is nothing more than an AI program. The more Hajime looks, the more his head aches.
“Yeah, is that okay?”
“Of course! I just keep thinking I’m not going to see you again only for you to appear again.” Even Alter Ego can’t hold back his smile, instantly lighting up. He closes his eyes softly as he speaks - he truly looks like the cat that’s gotten the cream.
It’s not like he wasn’t aware that Alter Ego valued his company. It’s not like he gets any other company after all. There’s only so much time he can spend here though - he suspects the others would have something to say if he started spending all his time locked away in here. No matter how nice the environment is, after seeing the hassle it has already caused it’s not worth the risks.
He offers a gentle smile anyway, “I don’t try to make a habit of it.”
Alter Ego glows even brighter, his grin sparkling in the hot sun. Lost in the moment. However, after a few seconds have passed Alter Ego regains his senses, clearing his throat and sitting up straight. “Is everything okay then?”
“Yes. Mostly anyway.”
With a sigh he simply raises a hand up to his face on instinct. Cupping the single green eye as if to hide it from sight but it’s already far too late for that. Still it feels like the ground is falling out under him. That sickening feeling as his stomach drops and twists painfully.
Part of him wants to ask Alter Ego about it - how could his eye colour shift?! - but he holds himself back. He’s not sure why, there is no logic behind it, but every time he thinks about asking his body seizes up. Recoiling as he struggles to swallow down the lump in his throat.
But despite of his lack of control over his own body, Alter Ego doesn’t seem to take note. Instead he is still just lost in his own thoughts as his eyes widen drastically.
“Mostly…?” Alter Ego raises an eyebrow. His hair might as well be standing on end, hackles raised like a cat. He can practically hear the AI completely overthinking everything. Maybe he should have been more clear with his words.
“It’s all to be expected. It’s just that not everyone is handling waking up well.” He gives a tentative answer, like he’s stepping on egg shells.
“Hmmm… Mental fatigue and trauma is to be expected.” Alter Ego hums as he rubs at his chin, “What did you want me to assist with?”
Honestly, he was following his instincts more than anything else. Perhaps he should have come in here with more a plan, but either way he’s here now. With Naegi and the others gone who is he supposed to go to? It’s not like he can keep putting these thoughts on the others. Just like Hiyoko, they are struggling with their own things.
“I don’t know really. You were designed to help with mental health, right?”
“Yes, although it didn’t work out well…” Alter Ego bites down on the inside of his cheek.
In fairness, they can’t really blame all that on Alter Ego. In fact, they still don’t actually know how well it would have worked if it functioned like normal. Perhaps they will never actually find out.
“Don’t blame that on the program. As far as we know it should function effectively so what would you recommend to help them?” He crosses his legs and spins around to fully face Alter Ego. Addressing him face to face.
“I don’t know…” Alter Ego mumbles uncertainly, chewing on his lower lip, “When programming this place to help you guys we focused on helping you guys build connections and relationships with each other. I think if you want to help the others then you need to work to build a strong support network.”
“A support network?”
It sounds silly. Too simple. Too naive. And yet he listens with rapt attention. Desperate for any advice, no matter how silly.
“When humans have a tight web of people to lean on they are able to overcome seemingly impossible things. Hope is born from friendships and relationships. When you have dreams for the future and a drive to keep working towards things.”
Hope. There’s that word again.
“So we need to make everyone become friends…?” He drawls, raising one eyebrow. It’s hard not to let his skepticism show, not matter how much he wants to.
Sure, he can see the thought behind it, but isn’t that what they’ve already been trying? Between the parties and meetings it doesn’t seem to be going well. When the entire group is as messed up as this one are they even able to support each other?
But then there was Hiyoko coming into his room yesterday despite everything… Ughhhh he doesn’t know. He wants to pull his hair out but with Alter Ego here watching him he should probably try to keep it together. At least for the time being.
“Uhhhh…I guess… Sorry, I know it’s not the most helpful information.” Alter Ego immediately jumps in, face flushing as he tries to wave the suggestion away just like that.
“It’s fine - I just hope we’re able to do it. It’s harder than it sounds…” But he doesn’t seem to be quite convincing enough.
Even now the flush isn’t dying down but he forces a gentle smile anyway, “Yes…but you guys have a strong base to work on. I know I only got to see you from within here but from what I believe in you all.”
“I’m glad someone does…” He lets his sigh rattle through him - thoughts racing across his mind.
~~~
20/05 - 09:14
“Hello?” He calls out cautiously as he knocks on the door to the patient room. However he doesn’t bother waiting for a response before he gently opens the door, allowing himself in.
As soon as he steps in he sees Mikan and Ibuki sat cross legged on the bed facing each other. Judging by the giggling and hand movements Ibuki is teaching her some kind of clapping game. They barely even acknowledge his entrance; the only greeting he gets is a cheerful nod from Mikan before she’s straight back to clapping alongside Ibuki once again. He supposes he shouldn’t be surprised at this point. The only person who spends more time in here than Nagito and Mikan is him. Even Ibuki hasn’t been glued as much to this place as him.
Nevertheless he sighs and shuffles into the room seeking out Nagito. Unlike every other time, the curtain separating Mikan and Nagito’s beds have been pulled around once more, hiding Nagito away from everyone’s view. As he gets closer and closer he begins to lean, peeking beyond the curtain to get a look at Nagito.
The conversation with Hiyoko was still fresh and heavy in his mind. The sight of her. Her words. Her tears. They still play on repeat. Unable to leave him alone. He just needed someone to bounce ideas off of. Someone to help him work out the best approach. And yet he ended up and Nagito…maybe his brain is really fried.
It’s not like Nagito is the only one who would understand - they’ve all been messed up. But he couldn’t get Nagito out of his head. It looks like he’s going to need to find someone else though as instead of sitting up reading as he usually is when he isn’t talking to Mikan, he’s curled up in the fetal position. Covers tightly wrapped around him. Someone had pulled his hair up into a bun on the top of his head allowing Hajime to get a good look at his sleeping face.
“Wait, your eye!” Ibuki’s voice cuts through to him, almost having him flinch back as he frowns in her direction. Only just coming to.
Instinctively his hand flies to his face once more. Touching the eye but of course there is nothing to feel. Nevertheless it doesn’t ease the frantic beating of his heart as his eyes twitch. Looking over at Mikan and Ibuki uncertainly as their clapping game has ground to a sudden halt.
“O-Oh, that.” He chuckles softly, trying to force a weak smile, “Y-Yeah, it’s weird.”
“I-I think i-it looks nice.” Mikan smiles softly at first until her expression crumbles and her eyes widen drastically, “N-Not that it d-didn’t look n-nice before.”
“It’s fine…” Hajime just clears his throat trying to look back at Nagito.
Of course now when he needs him Nagito's dead to the world.
“If you wanna chat with Nagi then you’ll need to wait.” He rolls his eyes at Ibuki’s new nickname but he doesn’t bother commenting. She’s going to do what she wants and he certainly isn’t going to be able to stop her, “He didn’t sleep well last night so Ibuki stole some drugs for him.”
“Drugs?!” His jaw drops instantly.
He wants to say that he can’t believe she would just steal drugs like that but then he would be lying. The image of Ibuki rifling through all the medical draws - probably grinning smugly - just fits too well.
“Y-Yes…don’t worry though I checked the type and dosage for them though.” Mikan jumps in, trying to do her best damage control as if that was the issue with all this. It’s times like this when they make him start to worry.
Right as he face palms, he feels a sigh resonate through his entire body. At this point he should just be expecting this kind of thing. They can never just make it easy for him.
“Ughhh, just don’t let any of the doctors find out…” He groans quietly.
The last thing he needs is to have to deal with this too. Realistically it probably perfectly safe to use a few sleeping pills here and there but he somehow doubts the doctors are going to be as nonchalant. Especially not when the drugs have been taken without permission.
He can only pray she was sneaky enough when she took them that nothing is amiss. Subtle isn’t normally the first word he would pair with Ibuki. However he had run into the doctors on his way over here and they had said nothing so hopefully that’s a good sign.
“Yeah yeah. Whatever. Spoil sport.” Ibuki huffs and pouts unconvincingly.
Clearing his throat he moves over to the nearest couch, sitting down and leaning back casually, “I was actually talking to them before this. They said Mikan and Nagito can go to their rooms tomorrow after they’ve had a quick check over.”
“Really?!” Ibuki shouts out at the top of her lungs, almost completely drowning out Mikan.
He winces immediately, looking over at Nagito but the man is completely out of it. Even now he doesn’t even flinch. Nothing could pull him out of his sleep now.
“Oh, that’s good to hear...”
“Yeah, you’ll finally be able to have your own space again.” He mumbles, rubbing his aching ears tentatively.
Honestly, he’s not sure why they needed to be here this long in the first place. It’s not like the doctors have been on call here 24/7 and they let Fuyuhiko go almost immediately. But with the end on the horizon he doesnt dare question it any futher. If they’re free now then that’s all that matters.
“Ooooh! We should have a par -”
“No!” He snaps before she can even finish her thought, “We’ve had enough parties in the last few weeks. Lets give it a bit of breathing room before we do that again.” She’s almost gotten too predictable at this point. He’s starting to wonder if there’s any situation she wont come up with a party for.
Sure, Alter Ego mentioned building up friendships but he’s starting to think parties aren’t the most effective ways of doing that. Not to mention he’s always the one who gets dragged into setting up and packing away. No more!
Much to his relief he isn’t alone. Mikan quickly back him up, resting a hand on Ibuki’s arm soothingly, “Hajime is right.”
“Pfftttt boringgggg.” She crosses her arms, leaving Mikan hanging, but at least she doesn’t push it any more. No matter how enthusiastic she can be about her ideas, she’s able to accept a ‘no’ when she hears it. At least he hopes so…
Trying his best to distract her, he drags himself over to Mikan and Ibuki. Without waiting for their permission he shimmies himself onto the bed right next to Mikan.
“What are you two even doing?”
Mikan immediately lights up, all thoughts from before completely forgotten, “Ibuki was teaching me a game she used to play.”
Holding her hands up they demonstrate the little clapping game. It’s not like he’s actually seen someone doing a game like this before but he gets the distinct feeling they’re supposed to be a little faster than this. Compared to Ibuki smooth movements - every movement is second nature - Mikan’s entire face is scrunched up. Working hard to calculate every single movement. Pouring 110% of her focus onto the silly little game.
As she claps Ibuki beams. She even shows off, turning to look at Hajime without missing a beat with her clapping, “Yep! Mikan missed out on allllll the fun stuff people did growing up.”
But as soon as she says those words Mikan’s hands drop down to her side, leaving Ibuki hanging. She’s left clapping into thin air.
“S-Sorry…”
“You don’t need to apologise!”
Lifting his hand up he shuffles even closer, “Maybe you can teach me too. I never played these games either.” It’s not like he even needs to lie to make Mikan feel better. Working alongside Junko didn’t exactly leave much time for messing about and playing clapping games. Although these sorts of things did feel like the sort of stuff Junko would have done - at least while she was pretending to be a normal student.
“Really?” Mikan asks, gently pushing at his shoulder.
Shrugging off her hand he respond, “Well, if I did then I don’t remember.”
“Leave it to Ibuki then!” Like a super hero Ibuki holds her head up high, preparing herself.
Much to his surprise she’s a pretty good teacher. No matter how much Mikan panics and screeches she never loses her cool. The entire time she is patient and calm. Constantly beaming.
But next to Mikan’s panicked fumbling he makes the entire process look all too easy. Graceful even. It’s no surprise that within a round or two his movements are almost as fluid as Ibuki’s. It only makes Mikan stand out more but she doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest. At least when she isn’t screeching.
As they do it he does his best to avoid thinking about his eye and everything else. The ease and familiarity of the movements only leave his mind to wander. There’s nothing to gain by wondering though. Besides, from the tiny parts he knows about his life from back then, he didn’t exactly seem the type to sit here like this playing silly clapping games back then either. Then again, it’s not like Izuru seemed the type either. But looking over at Ibuki’s giggling and Mikan’s panicked movements he struggles to think about where he would rather be.
~~~
20/05 - 23:04
With the bright light of the room overhead it’s easy to lose track of time. It must be well into the night now but neither him nor Kazuichi could care less. Well, almost. No matter how deep he has sunk into his work Kazuichi can’t avoid the yawns that overtake him.
Even now he doesn’t dare ask how long he’s been working on the arm. Knowing how Kazuichi is there’s a non-zero chance he simply hasn’t slept at all since beginning. And given how its gone from a single finger when he was last here to almost a complete arm now.
The longer they work for, the more Kazuichi’s eyes droop but he always manages to shake himself back awake again. He almost considers dousing the man in icy cold water but that feels a little too cruel. They’re so close to the end now though. With just a little more work they can be done before the sun even rises.
They’re almost there.
Almost.
As he focuses in on the machinery it’s like everything else in the world fades away around him. Any thoughts. Any nightmares. They’re all gone. All he can think about is the way his hands move and the careful way he handles the metal.
Sitting there with all the disconnecting pieces laid out in front of him he’s struck by the thought that it’s not exactly the prettiest thing he’s ever seen. Far from it. The metal is dented and chipped in sections- not to mention all the rough ridges running along its surface from the soldering work.
Even the metal doesn’t stay the same colour throughout. Different sections shimmer differently across each and every part. A collage of their work. More steampunk than cyberpunk. But knowing this is for Nagito that somehow works. Besides, given what they have to work with it’s not like they have much other choice.
Knowing all the pieces were there and ready he had expected it to be pretty quick work. How long could it really take to attach a bunch of pieces together. Yet here they are still, hunched over on their floor until their backs scream out.
Even when it’s fully attached it wont be done because then they’ll need to actually adjust it to fit Nagito’s arm. So far they have been using Kazuichi’s arm as a guide but there’s no way it will be perfectly accurate. Turns out it’s surprisingly difficult to make a prosthetic arm as a secret gift…who would have thought?
He doesn’t notice when it happens. He’s too focused on his own work that maybe seconds had passed. Maybe minutes. But when he finally looks over at Kazuichi he finds the other man slumped over. The soldering ‘iron’ is still in his hand, only just avoiding searing the skin of his hand.
There is no way in hell he’s comfortable with his head resting awkwardly on his knees like that - he can only imagine how tired he must have been. Instead of falling onto the floor, he had folded in on himself from where he had been sat on his knees. Now he’s forming a small ball on the floor, his back bent painfully.
Moving quickly, he gently pulls the pencil from the mans hand, disconnecting it and leaving it to the side to cool down away from anything flammable. Wincing to himself, he taps the mans shoulder lightly. Nothing. He barely even flinches. With a gentle hand he pulls Kazuichi towards his chest, slipping his arm under the man tentatively. Just like he had done with Mikan the other day he carefully lifts the man back over into his bed.
But even as he carries the man he doesn’t stir in the slightest. The man has never been this much of a deep sleeper. Quite the opposite actually. It’s almost worrying seeing him like this. He had no idea it was even possible for him to sleep like this.
Smiling to himself he does his best to drape the blanket over him. Although he does his best to be gentle he doubts it would make much difference anymore. Tucking the edges around him until he’s firmly snuggled under. If only Kazuichi could see himself now. He would probably yell at Hajime for not waking him up but it seems like it was much needed. Besides it’s not like he can’t handle a little arm on his own.
So he continues working, gentle snoring providing his backing as he works.
Chapter 27: 21st of May
Summary:
The day has finally come for Mikan and Nagito to leave the patient room
Chapter Text
21/05 - 03:48
It’s times like this that he really wishes he had a camera. Surely Mahiru of all people must have one tucked away somewhere, even under these conditions. However maybe dropping into her room at the crack of dawn isn’t the best idea. Especially when they’ve not spoke properly since right after she woke up. His eyes and memory will have to function as his camera for the time being, much to his dismay.
Over the last few hours of working, Kazuichi had slowly shifted from the neat position Hajime left him in, to whatever this is. Half his body is hanging off the bed, covers knotted around his legs an arms. If you stumbled upon him you’d think he’d been tied up in some hostage situation. The only thing ruining that illusion is the blissful smile on his lips as drool slowly puddles on the pillow beneath him. His long pink hair only just avoiding getting chewed on.
For the first time he’s noticing the black roots poking through, breaking the bright illusion. Of course it’s not like he thought pink was his natural hair colour - the man had admitted more than once to dyeing it - but actually seeing it feels different.
Maybe they should get Akane to dye his hair too… She had seemed all too eager to help Hajime after all.
Groaning he leans back until his back is pressed up against the side of the bed. From here he can hear each of Kazuichi’s soft snores - if they can even be called that given how quiet they are. Each one only reminds Hajime of how defenseless Kazuichi is right now. That does nothing to convince him not to find a pen and draw a small mustache right now while he has the chance.
Realistically he should probably get up and leave. It’s not like there’s anything left for him to do now. He had just finished putting the last pieces of the arm together and it now sits in the middle of the floor. Scrap pieces, oil and grease all surround it like a cage but that only makes it stand out more. Without that to work on what is the point in him even being here? He should go back to his room and get some sleep before the day fully begins.
But he still doesn’t make any attempt to leave despite logic dictating that he should. The most he moves is a few centimeters to lean back further into the bed.
Groaning to himself, he rubs a hand down his face. He can’t just sit here like this. He needs to be doing something. Anything. Almost as if moving on instinct he leans forward just far enough to reach the arm, pulling it into his lap and cradling it carefully.
He’s not sure why he starts doing it - maybe he really is just bored and desperate for something to keep him busy here - but he finds himself sat there, a sharp scrap of metal in hand. It digs into his hand, cutting the skin of his palm, but that doesn’t stop him. Before he realises what he’s doing he’s scratching into the rough metal surface. Only lightly of course but just enough that you can catch sight of the engravings when the light hits the metal properly.
At first it’s nothing but the word Nagito, carved out in his best cursive writing. It’s harder than normal given his tools and the uneven surface but he would be lying if he said it didn’t look good.
But then his hand keeps moving. Guiding itself. Ivy sprouts out from the spots where the shard moves. Wrapping around the arm elegantly. Twisting around the harsh soldering ridges. It all flows so naturally he could almost be convinced it really was just growing out on his own.
Around the ivy small flowers begin blossoming. Filling the empty spaces between vines. Rounded flowers with thick layers of petals. While he might have been the one who etched them, it still takes him a few minutes to even place what kind of flowers they are. Zinnias. He had seen them once on his travels abroad. A vast grassland of them stretching out, untouched by the chaos and destruction. Perfect and unperturbed.
Time seems to both stop and speed up at the same time as he works. A perfect bubble separated from everything. Isolated. All that exists is this arm. These flowers. The writhing ivy.
He isn’t sure when he began humming but soon the room is filled with the muffled music. Bit by bit it begins to drown out Kazuichi’s soft snores. Even the sounds of him scratching at the metal are covered up. Nothing is left but his hums.
At least until -
“Izuru…?” A soft groan drags him back into awareness.
Without even needing to think twice he hides away the scrap of metal he had been using, ignoring the way his hand stings without it’s pressure. It doesn’t make any sense - it’s not like he can hide the etchings he’s made, they’re on there forever - and yet he still does it. His body acting before his head.
“Ah, you’re finally awake Kazuichi.” He forces a smile, leaning back his head so he can see the other man.
From his upside down view he can just about make out Kazuichi blinking blearily, his face still pressed into the pillow. Every blink is a chore. He can barely even move his arms and legs with the blanket around him like that. The most he can do is rub his face against his shoulder grouchily.
“…Awake…” Kazuichi groans softly, his brain slowly breaking out of its slumber. And then suddenly, “Wait! You let me fall asleep!” He forcibly rips his arms free, using them to push him up into a half sitting position.
“You looked like you needed it.”
Kazuichi throws his arms up dramatically like that is doing anything to prove his point, “But…but the arm! We need it ready for today.”
“Here.” Sighing he holds up the arm and throws it over to Kazuichi in the blink of an eye, “I had it all sorted.”
Unfortunately Kazuichi is too busy gasping in horror to even hear him. His hand desperately flail about, trying to grab a hold of it before it falls off the bed. As soon as it’s firmly in his grip he pulls it tightly against his chest. Cradling it delicately.
“I can’t believe you let me sleep like that…” The utter disbelief wafting off of him is almost laughable.
“Look me in the eyes and tell me you didn’t need it.” He raises a questioning eye brow.
“I didn’t need it.”
“Tell that to the soldering iron you almost burnt your skin with.” He chuckles, nodding over to the now disassembled soldering ‘iron’ Kazuichi had been using.
Is he over exaggerating…? Maybe. But it’s not like Kazuichi is going to know. How can he? Besides, it’s not as much of an exaggeration as it probably should be all things considered.
“I -” Kazuichi stalls and stutters. Searching for something to hit back with but he’s left with nothing. Despite his best attempts he has to back off, “…whatever.”
“Look, I’m gonna go and grab us some breakfast. Why don’t you check over the arm while I’m gone. Make sure it’s up to the Soda standard.”
With nothing left to rely on he’s forced to agree, huffing and puffing the entire time. At least it will keep him busy though.
As Hajime slips out of the room he catches a last look at Kazuichi. His hand roam across the surface of the metal, following the countless lines of ivy trailing across the surface. But he doesn’t say a thing as Hajime flees. He simply goes back to his examination silently.
~~~
21/05 - 10:02
“Are you ready!” Ibuki cries out.
As she yells she grips tighter on the handles of Mikan’s wheelchair, pretending to rev it like a motorbike. Poor Mikan is left clinging onto the wheelchair for dear life, her skin a ghostly shade of white. No one can save her now.
With the exception of Nagito, the rest of them are hanging back to watch everything play out. Observing the chaos if nothing else. Sonia is gripping onto Nekomaru’s arm, wincing as Ibuki hangs of the wheelchair recklessly. Even Byakuya is tutting disapprovingly but none of them jump in to save Mikan. Her last remaining hope is Nagito who’s stood beside her but he simple forces a gentle smile.
Despite his and Mikan’s protests about a party, Ibuki had done her best to gather as many people as possible for the ‘send off’. He’s not sure moving across the hall required all the send off of a cross country relocation, however judging by the meager turn out it wasn’t just him who felt this way. Only Hajime, Ibuki, Sonia, Nekomaru and Byakuya had bothered joining Mikan and Nagito for their ‘big’ moment.
For the most part it wasn’t exactly surprising but every time he catches sight of Nekomaru he can’t help but wonder about Akane. She doesn’t stand out as someone who would avoid something like this, and yet she’s no where to be seen. He hadn’t been with Ibuki when she was calling on people but knowing Ibuki he doubts she gave up easily.
Shaking loose those thoughts, he tries to bring his focus back to Nagito and Mikan. He should be thinking about them not Akane right now.
“Umm, Ibuki…maybe we should -” Sonia finally steps forward, anxiously reaching towards Mikan.
It’s too late now though.
Kicking off the ground, Ibuki fully stands on the back of the wheelchair, sending it careening forwards towards the open doors, “Lets go!” Her battle cry fills the halls instantly.
He can already picture the looks that must be painting the doctors faces as they see this. It’s a miracle none of them have intervened yet. Maybe they’ve just fully given up at this point.
Not wanting to be left behind, Sonia and Nekomaru run after Ibuki and Mikan. Both of them are barking orders but he’s not sure what they think they’re going to accomplish with that. If they think that’s going to stop Ibuki of all people then they clearly haven’t been paying attention.
While everyone speeds off Nagito, Byakuya, and Hajime are left in the dust. As they walk along they can distantly hear the screeching of wheels - or maybe that’s Mikan - but by the time they’ve made it out off the room nothing else is left. If he’s being honest then he prefers it this way. Far less energy is required…
As they move along the corridor they meet the all too predictable glares of the doctor. She’s leaning against the wall, shooting daggers at the three of them as if they were the ones careening around the corridor.
“Keep your friends under control.”
Rolling his eyes he sighs, “We’re trying.”
It might be a lie but he couldn’t care less. It might be annoying but at least they have some zest for life still. Mikan might be screeching but it doesn’t take a super genius to recognise that she’s having fun.
It’s only as they get closer to the communal area that he begins to notice the eerie and unnatural silence around them. No more screeching or running or shouting. And he’s not the only one. At his side, Nagito’s eyes are narrowed, his remaining hand curled into a fist. Ready. Waiting.
The tense feeling only gets heavier and heavier, the closer they get. Whether consciously or subconsciously he can feel Nagito shifting closer to him. Before they had been separated by an arms length but now he could reach out and brush the other man with a single finger. This difference is only highlighted further when he looks to his other side only to find Byakuya half a world away.
But as soon as they step into the communal area -
“Welcome back!”
People jump out from all sides, cheering out at the top of their lungs. Considering the sheer volume you would think everyone and their mother had been rounded up into the room but in actuality it’s almost depressingly empty. The only people present are Ibuki, Sonia, Nekomaru and Kazuichi. You could count Mikan but she’s still firmly sat in her wheelchair, looking as confused about all this as everyone else.
Nevertheless Nagito instantly flinches back at the sound, his hand brushing past Hajime’s arm and gripping onto his sleeve. He has to stop himself from laughing at how cute and innocent he looks. It’s not a look he had ever expected to see on Nagito of all people.
He had been wondering where Kazuichi was and how he was going to go about this but this suddenly makes sense. Sure enough the metal arm is already set out on the table. In the absence of wrapping paper to use they had simply scrunched up printer paper around it, keeping it in place with hopes and prayers.
“Took you long enough…” Kazuichi rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. That’s not convincing enough for Hajime though. After seeing him working to exhaustion over multiple days for this moment this nonchalant attitude isn’t going to work.
“What -?”
Eyes wide, Nagito looks around. His mouth is open stumbling for words but nothing comes. Everyone is simply grinning, even Byakuya.
Hajime takes advantage of having Nagito’s clinging onto his sleeve to drag the man forward. Leading him over to the table and the gift. As they get closer Kazuichi gently pushes the arm forwards, doing his best to keep the paper in place.
“This is a gift for you from -”
Hajime quickly cuts him off with a short and sharp cough, “From Kazuichi. He’s been working really hard on it for the last few days.” He reaches over and nudges Kazuichi’s arm. The man narrows his eyes at Hajime but doesn’t say anymore.
He’s not sure why he doesn’t want Nagito knowing his part in the arm. It doesn’t make any logical sense. Still it’s not like he did most the work, perhaps he just knows he doesn’t deserve the same level of credit. It definitely doesn’t have anything to do with the engravings that he’s starting to wish he hadn’t impulsively added. He has no idea what his sleep deprived mind was thinking with that…
Nagito’s hold on his sleeve is released as he lets his hand hover tentatively over the paper. Waiting there unmoving. Even as everyone gathers in closer, trying to lean over to get a better look, he makes no moves to pull the paper off.
“Trash like me doesn’t deserve a gift from people like you.” As he starts rambling Hajime can’t help but roll his eyes. Here he thought maybe they had moved past that after all the remnant of despair stuff. He should have known better.
Growling grouchily, Kazuichi knocks Nagito’s hand aside, “Oh, shut up. I chose to work on it myself so take the damn thing.” And then with a severe lack of fanfare, he yanks the paper off for Nagito. Just like that.
The shining metal arm glistens under the harsh overhead light. Sure enough the light catches on the engravings making them pop more than he had expected. Against his will his cheeks begin to grow warmer and warmer. Much to his relief, everyone is too focused on the arm to notice him at all though.
Everyone leans even closer, almost blocking out the light with their heads. Wide eyes expression reflected in the distorted surface. Heads almost smash into each other as they all vie for a good position. All of them except Mikan anyway.
“Ooooh! It looks beautiful Kazuichi.” Sonia claps excitedly, barely holding herself back from sweeping it up in her own arms. Only as Nagito’s shaking finger brushes along the surface - following one of the ivy strands - does she back off.
“That’s to be expected for the Ultimate Mechanic!” Nekomaru bellows, thumping Kazuichi on the back. The hit sends him stumbling forward until he headbutts Byakuya, sending them both reeling. Hands clamped over their aching foreheads. He probably should feel bad for them but a bubble of laughter fills his chest instead.
Ibuki shuffles as close to Nagito as she can, sneaking her hand in close so she can brush against the writing tentatively, “It’s so pretty! Ibuki had no idea you were able to write in cursive and draw flowers like that!”
Still rubbing his sore head, Kazuichi lifts his gaze to meet Hajime’s. A slight flush fills his cheek as he bites down on their lower lip. Not a single word is said but he knows exactly what Kazuichi wants to say. He might as well be able to hear Kazuichi yelling at him. But even so he gives the smallest shake of his head possible, eyes pleading with Kazuichi. God, he’s so glad he can’t see his own cheeks right now…
“An arm…”
As if he hasn’t noticed Ibuki reaching her hand over, Nagito grips onto the metal and lifts it up. Examining it from every angle. Checking it is actually there and not just a figment of his own imagination.
“Yeah, I couldn’t really do much to help Fuyuhiko or Mikan but I figured you could probably do with a replacement arm if nothing else.”
“I see…” Even as Nagito nods his eyes remain fixed on the arm. Too terrified to even blink. As if the second he takes his eyes off it it’s going to vanish completely.
“We’ve gotta fit it for you but it should be working well. We - I - checked it over pretty well.” Kazuichi quickly corrects him with the least subtle cough he could possibly manage. He’s not sure he’s ever wanted to smack Kazuichi upside the head more. He forgot how bad Kazuichi can be at keeping secrets. Only Nekomaru is worse.
“Thank you Kazuichi.”
“Y-Yeah…whatever.” Gently brushing everyone else aside, he firmly plants himself in front of Nagito. Prying the arm from his hands. “Hold up your arm.”
As diligent as ever, Nagito pulls off his sling and holds his arm out for Kazuichi.
Everyone else takes a seat around the table, giving Kazuichi and Nagito all the space they need. Even so, they still can’t tear their eyes away from the process. Even as Kazuichi’s cheeks light up with colour they still stare at every movement. Watching how fluidly Kazuichi works, a screwdriver perched between his teeth as he gets to work. It’s impressive how still Nagito can remain with Kazuichi pulling and prodding at him.
It only takes a few minutes of tightening and pulling before Kazuichi steps back, slowly releasing the arm. Not ready for the new weight, it falls limply to Nagito’s side for a moment before Nagito’s brain catches up and he lifts his arm back up again to examine his new arm.
“There you go!” Kazuichi wipes his brow with the back of his arm. As soon as he’s done he carefully tucks his screwdriver behind his ear, using it to unintentionally pin back some of his hair.
Everyone immediately gets up, leaning towards Nagito once again. He holds his arm up for everyone, letting them crowd around him without argument.
“It suits you.” Mikan hums sweetly.
She’s not wrong. He knew the scrappy style would suit Nagito but now it’s actually on and properly attached he’s only more certain of that. He probably shouldn’t be surprised since it was literally made for him. Somehow it looks entirely new and like he’s always had it on at the same time.
Nekomaru guffaw’s, hands on his hips, “Yes, it looks much better on you than -”
Before Nekomaru can finish that sentence Hajime jumps in, drowning out Nekomaru’s words to the best of his ability, “Why don’t you try flexing it?”
He forgot how socially unaware Nekomaru can be at times.
Thankfully Nagito either hasn’t processed what Nekomaru was going to say or he just doesn’t care as he excitedly begins flexing his fingers, wiggling them about in front of everyone. While they aren’t quite as fluid and natural as his actual hand, it’s far beyond anything he was expecting. Beyond the talents of anyone else. Yet Kazuichi looks totally nonchalant, like this isn’t even worth being proud of. Just another of the many things he’s made.
He doesn’t even bristle as people begin complimenting him and his work. He just perches on the edge of the table, eyes drawn somewhat downward. Eyes drifting off into the distance.
“Wow!” Sonia gasps, holding her hand up to Nagito’s to intertwine their fingers.
Ibuki leans over Nagito’s shoulder again, trying to get a good look at the hand which is now interweaved with Sonia’s, “That’s totally sci-fi!”
Coughing unsubtly, Kazuichi raises his head and addresses Nagito, “Does it feel okay?”
“Yes, it’s a wonderful gift Kazuichi. I’ll have to repay you somehow.”
Nagito’s eyes sparkle magically as he stares at the hand. Bit by bit he frees his hand from Sonia’s grip. Allowing him to drink in the sight of every movement and flex. The more he stares, the more his eyes seems to shine and sparkle. Shimmering in the harsh light. Unless…
“No repayment needed.”
“You really are generous.”
Sure enough as the light catches his face Hajime just about makes out the watery shimmer of tears building up in his eyes. As is to be expected with Nagito his facial expressions and posture give nothing away but the eyes are the windows to the soul. Even he can’t hide that.
Swooping in, Hajime darts between Sonia and Nagito. He carefully places himself right at Nagito’s side, an arm placed on his back to usher him forwards. Before anyone else can notice, he guides Nagito away from Sonia and Ibuki, moving casually and gracefully.
He prepares himself for Nagito dragging his feet or questioning Hajime but nothing of the sort happens. Quite the opposite actually. He simply deflates, leaning into Hajime’s guiding arm as he is brushed away from everyone else with ease.
“Maybe we should let Mikan and Nagito go to their rooms to rest. It’s been a long day.” Hajime explains as he sweeps Nagito away with complete ease
Thankfully that’s all the convincing they need to nod along with him. All at once they back off, making way for Nagito and Hajime to move through towards the corridor.
“Yes. That sounds like a good idea.” Sonia answers firmly, directing Ibuki over to the wheel chair so they can bring Mikan back to her room.
Hajime and Nagito completely ignore the others though. They are both solely focused on the door at the end of the corridor, half walking and half jogging over to it. Even as they walk now Nagito can’t stop himself from opening and closing his fist experimentally. Testing out the full range of movements while he can.
He simply allows Hajime to guide him along until they make it to Nagito’s room. The door clicks shut behind them, separating them from everyone else. Only then does Hajime back away, giving Nagito his personal space back.
Slowly his hand lowers as he examines the empty room. Everything untouched. The bed covers are still perfectly laid out. Not a single crease marring the surface. If he didn’t know better he would assume the bed had never been slept in at all.
“Hmmm…I almost forgot what this place was like…” Nagito mumbles, trying to force out a gentle laugh.
That isn’t enough to stop Hajime from frowning though. Not when his eyes are still glistening, even in the darkness of the room.
“Are you okay Nagito?”
“Of course.” He furrows his brow at once like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Like he wasn’t on the brink of tears seconds ago.
He wouldn’t even blame Nagito. He can only imagine what this is like for him. How overwhelming it must be. His talk with Hiyoko the other day is still fresh and heavy in his mind. There isn’t exactly a right or wrong way to take any of this but pretending it’s all fine and normal certainly isn’t right.
“Are you sure, because…”
“I’m sure.” Nagito snaps out a little too fast. Uncharacteristically harshly. He must see something change in Hajime’s face though because he forces a smile and stands up even straighter. His arm falling back down to his side limply, “It’s too nice of a gift for me after everything... Fuyuhiko and Mikan deserve all this - not me.”
“You were just lucky it was something Kazuichi could help with. You don’t need to worry about owing him, he likes doing things to help people. That’s all the payment he needs.”
He doesn’t even need to lie. They’ve all seen how he will tears things and build them up again when he’s bored far too many times. It’s basically his modus operandi at this point. Stress relief. Honestly, he’s just glad its a productive and non harmful method of dealing with the anxiety. Or at least as healthy as it can be when he skipping out on sleep.
“I understand.” Nagito nods firmly but Hajime doesn’t feel like he believes him. At this point he might as well just be talking to a brick wall though. Nagito isn’t going to listen if he doesn’t want to.
Sighing and rubbing his arm, he shifts his weight from side to side. He hadn’t exactly thought about what he was going to do at this point. It’s not like he’s in the patient room anymore. He can’t just settle down in the corner of the room to keep the mancompany. This is his private space. Not some social hangout spot.
“Will you be okay on your own?” He clears his throat, tilting his head slightly towards Nagito. Nagito doesn’t look up though, his sole focus is on the arm he’s now holding up in front of him again.
“Yes, I’ll be fine.” His finger traces the name etched into the metal once more. Searing the etchings into his skin over and over and over.
Sighing and shaking his head, Hajime turns to leave. There’s no point in him being here. Shoving his hands in his pockets he nudges the door open with his shoulder, ready to step back out into the corridor.
However right before he can kick the door closed behind him a soft voice calls out, “Thanks for helping me, Izuru.”
“You’re welcome.”
A smile ghosts his lips but he closes the door behind him and stalks off to his own room.
Chapter 28: 22nd of May
Summary:
While having a group discussion they notice Byakuya caught up reading something
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
22/05 - 14:07
The pages of his book flutter gently as he brushes through them. He knows he should be reading but the words are meaningless squiggles on the page. It doesn’t matter how much he tries to focus nothing changes. At this point he’s just given up entirely. Merely flicking through the pages to maintain his outward appearance and to avoid having to pay attention to everyone else’s conversation.
He’s leaning back on the couch, his legs raised up and draped over Kazuichi’s lap. Despite his initial protests, he’s succumbed to his fate. Besides, he would be lying if he said it’s wasn’t at least slightly comfortable. If Kazuichi wants to keep him here then who is he to deny him?
Although all the bickering around him is playful he doesn’t have the mental energy to listen to them right now. All his mind can think about are the images from his dream that are swirling around in his mind. The same images over and over. Every night. You would think they would get a little more creative with time but apparently not. Even if the circumstances change slightly its always basically the same thing. Chiaki calling out to him. Reaching for him. Bleeding out. Junko’s hands. Sharp nails. Her shadow still hanging over him. After all this he thought he would be rid of her but clearly he was stupid to even entertain the thought. Like a fungus, she just clings on.
But even if he isn’t paying attention to the words being spoken, it’s impossible to ignore Akane’s snorting as she cackles at whatever Kazuichi was saying. She’s sat on the floor, at the foot of Nekomaru’s arm chair, leaning against his legs with her head on his knees.
Tucked away in the corner couch are Sonia and Gundham. Sonia is curled up, her legs tucked up close to her chest, as she rests against Gundham who’s long lost in a book just like him. He has the sneaking suspicion the other boy is paying just as much attention to the book as Hajime is paying to his own.
Poor Byakuya is trapped on the same couch - stuck as a third wheel to what he assumes is basically cuddling when it comes to Gundham. Nevertheless they don’t look all too bothered pressed up against the arm rest, giving the pair as much space as possible. Just like Gundham and Hajime, their head is locked in a book but unlike them they actually seem to be reading. Completely lost in their own world.
It’s not just the seven of them though. Ibuki, Mikan and Nagito are sat on the floor, peering around the coffee table and doodling on the wood with marker pens. He did briefly consider stopping them but a little vandalism is fun from time to time. They don’t really need to be precious with the furniture or anything.
The loud voices crashing over each other make for a vivid backdrop - even if he isn’t actually paying attention to anything that is being said. Part of him wishes they had provided a functional TV to keep everyone distracted but he doubts there would be anything worth watching on the TV even if they did have one.
Clenching his jaw and gripping the book, he tries his best to focus on the words again. Pushing aside any memories of his dreams for as long as possible. But at this point none of the words on the page make any sense. He’s too deep in now to go back to the beginning though.
Only when Kazuichi taps his foot, calling his name, does he finally start paying attention to all the talking around him, “Hajime?”
“What is it?” A sighs, setting down his book as if he was actually paying any attention to it in the first place.
“We’re just talkin’ about where we’d want to go most in the world.” Akane grumbles. As she does so she leans back even further, letting her head dig deeper into Nekomaru - not that he complains or even flinches.
Where they would want to go in the world? What sort of question is that? He starting to think maybe he should have been trying to pay a little more attention to whatever they were talking about…
But before he can even start thinking about how to formulate an answer Ibuki has jumped in, huffing with her head held high, “You’re all crazy! Only crazy people don’t want to live in Hawaii!”
Everyone groans at that.
After everything he’s surprised any of them would want to be on a tropical island again. Their perception has forever been ruined. But in spite of him saying that he’s the one who has gone back over and over again into the program. Perhaps it isn’t quite as strange as he would like to paint it.
Nevertheless they all shake their heads, ready to jump in with their own opinions.
“No, obviously America is the right choice. New York seems like a great place.” Nekomaru is the first one to chime in, his arms crossed.
“I can’t believe you’re actually talking about this. I thought we decided not to leave this place?” He frowns. Keeping his legs on Kazuichi’s lap, he sits up a little straighter, narrowing his eyes.
It’s not like they’re actually going to be able to flee to America or even Hawaii without being captured. It would take days to flee that far by boat and there’s no way the future foundation isn’t keeping an eye on the waters. Besides, of all the places to go into hiding those are their choices.
“Yeah, yeah. We know.” Kazuichi rolls his eyes, waving aside Hajime’s worries, “We’re just talking theoretically. You know, if things were different.”
If things were different, huh? He can’t imagine what it would be like to travel around the world back before everything went to hell. At this point he wouldn’t even know where to start. That world only exists in books and films. A separate world to this one.
Sonia suddenly drops her legs back down, shuffling forwards energetically until she’s perched directly on the edge of the couch. Burning eyes alight with enthusiasm.
“Like Akane, I still believe Japan is the best choice. There is something so special about the nation of Japan. You must agree,” Sonia positively sparkles with every word before she looks around, searching for anyone to back her (and apparently Akane) up, “Mikan…?”
But if she’s looking for that with Mikan then she was clearly barking up the wrong tree. Pulling at her nails, Mikan’s eyes dart away from Sonia, instead searching out Ibuki.
“I…I don’t know…I think I would like to live on an island like Hawaii too…” Her cheeks flush and her eyes begin to well up with tears. But still she manages to get out her opinion in spite of that. It’s actually kind of impressive all things considered.
Her tears are quickly brushed away though as Ibuki squeals, leaning into her and sweeping her into a crushing hug. Poor Mikan can only wheeze as she tries to survive the attack.
“Ha! Ibuki is drawing with Sonia now!” Ibuki cackles, still not releasing Mikan.
Searching desperately Sonia turns her gaze on Nagito instead, “Nagito?”
“Hm…Japan would be pretty nice. I don’t know where else I would want to be.” Nagito hums, smiling a sickly sweet smile. But the words feel empty and hollow. A sweet sounding platitude, nothing more.
Regardless of how empty the words sound that doesn’t seem to change Sonia’s stance. Pumping her fist she gives them a crooked grin, “We are winning again now.”
He had never pictured her as the competitive sort. It does make more sense than he would have thought though. Ambition oozes off of her. He gets the feeling that Ibuki is going to have her work cut out for her trying to take on Sonia.
“I always enjoyed the land of Madagascar on my travels. If any land was fit to reign supreme as my true kingdom that that would indeed be the only fitting place.” Out of nowhere Gundham suddenly speaks up. He had almost forgotten the man even existed, too wrapped up in Sonia’s exploits. His cackles are impossible to ignore though.
However he’s caught off guard as Kazuichi taps his foot once again, almost making him jump out of his skin. “Hajime never gave us his answer, there must be somewhere you would want to live.” Once again throwing him under the bus…
For a moment he considers just shutting the other man down, refusing to answer but then he catches himself. Where would he want to go? The first place that comes to mind is Japan but after everything that has happened it would feel…wrong. While he didn’t spend all his time there, the entire country is littered with memories. Could he really go and live there like nothing ever happened? But if not Japan, where would he go?
Clearing his throat and keeping a stoic face he grumbles, “I don’t have a preference. They all seemed the same to me…”
Apparently that isn’t a sufficient answer though.
“Boringggg!” Ibuki snores grumpily and releases Mikan so she can fall backwards onto the floor. Splaying out dramatically.
“Where did you choose then Kazuichi?” He raises an eyebrow at Kazuichi and crosses his arms. There’s no way he’s just letting Kazuichi pick on him and not share his own opinion.
“LA, of course.”
“Of course…” He rolls his eyes. In all honesty, what was he expecting. He should have already known where Kazuichi would choose.
He’s distracted from Kazuichi though by a soft sigh from Akane. He’s never associated her with any soft feelings - with the exception of when she was fixing his hair - but right now there’s no other word to describe her. Instead of laying back on Nekomaru, her head now hangs down so her chin almost brushes against her chest.
“I know the world is kinda fucked now an’ all but it’d be see some stuff before we all die… I never gotta see anythin’ before all this went down.” She mumbles weakly.
Even though he travelled over almost all the world he somehow still understands exactly what she means. They’ve not gotten to experience the world. They likely never will. It’s the consequences for their actions so he can’t exactly be bitter about it.
“I…I know what you mean…”
Kazuichi’s hands settle on Hajime’s feet, pulling at his trouser leg absentmindedly. He considers brushing the man off but he holds himself back at the last second. It’s not like he’s doing any harm.
“I don’t even have a passport…” Kazuichi mutters quietly, still picking at Hajime’s trousers.
Sonia’s gasp snaps through the room as her hand flies up to her mouth, “You do not have a passport?!”
“Didn’t exactly have money to waste on holidays or trips.” Kazuichi shrugs casually. He hadn’t actually expected him to take it so well but the words simply roll off with ease.
The words are enough to make Sonia blush though. It’s not often that they see Sonia embarrassed like this, “I see.”
Ibuki puffs up her cheeks, sitting up again to rock back and forth, “I know what we said before but maybe we should run off. Explore the world before we’re hunted down. We might not have long left after all.”
Every time he thinks things have died down, the desperation wells up again. They always end up scrambling, ready to dart off at a moments notice.
“Nae - Makoto actually got in contacts a few days ag-” He starts explaining, determined to keep them here for as long as possible. But he’s cut off before he can even finish his sentence by incredulous shouts.
“WHAT?!”
“You did not mention this sooner?!”
Almost everyone tenses at once, sitting up dramatically in unison. They all stare directly at him - mouths hanging open and eyes wide. All of them except Byakuya at least who is still too involved in their book to even look up at the commotion.
He honestly hadn’t realised that he hadn’t told them. With everything going on he just hadn’t really considered calling a meeting. It’s not like there was much information to pass on anyway.
“Akane was the one who dragged me off.” He points a finger over at Akane as if that’s somehow going to make everything better.
Kazuichi shoves Hajime’s legs off his lap so he can stand up on his knees to lean towards Hajime. Trying to stare into his very soul, “That’s where you went?!”
Awkwardly scratching his neck he can feel his cheeks start to warm. Maybe he should have kept his mouth shut after all…but the longer he kept it quiet the worse it would have gotten. At least they all know now…
“You fiend…what did he say?” Gundham hisses, book long since abandoned on the couch beside him.
“Not much. Togami and Kirigiri were brought back into the future foundation but Makoto was still free for now.”
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.” Kazuichi pouts, twisting his head to the side. It’s hard to take him seriously with an expression like that.
“There was a lot on my mind.”
But not one of them is willing to accept that. They all cross their arms and frown at him grouchily. Even Ibuki is scowling at him, pouting almost as much as Kazuichi. All things considered he can’t say he would feel differently if he was in their shoes though.
“That’s no excuse for keeping the juicy gossip to yourself!”
Clearly he isn’t up to date on what counts as juicy gossip at the moment. He thought that maybe they had a slightly higher standard for this stuff.
Nevertheless he forces an awkward smile, “I’ll keep that in mind next time then.”
Nekomaru shakes his head slowly. His disapproving gaze is able to be felt even from all the way over here. There really is no escape at all, “We all need to be kept up to date with changes.”
“Look, I wasn’t asking them to come to me with the information. You guys can talk with him next time for all I care.” Grumbling and pouting he turns away from them all. Sliding his legs off the couch until he’s sat normally, pressing himself into the arm rest.
They’re all being far too dramatic about all this. Sure, he should have let them know but it’s not exactly revolutionary information. The only thing of note was that he got in contact at all.
Thankfully Sonia is there to jump in, “We must not begin arguing.” She breathes heavily, taking in the silence of the moment before she continues, “That is good news to hear though. Although that does mean we should probably not leave for a holiday any time soon.”
“Prolly…” Akane replies but her sigh and frown aren’t exactly convincing.
However the one he turns to isn’t Akane. He instead looks over past Sonia and Gundham at Byakuya who is still deeply engrossed in the book they’re reading. Even after everything, all the shouting and grumbling, they haven’t looked up a single time. Not even a flinch.
Narrowing his eyes further he tries to get a good look at what the book is but the cover is perfectly hidden by Byakuya’s hands. He can’t even get the slightest glimpse. But what could be keeping them this focused despite everything?
“Do you agree Byakuya…?” He calls out loudly, praying its enough to finally get his attention.
But even then, nothing. Not so much as a batting eyelid.
Only when Gundham reaches over to tap Byakuya’s shoulder do they finally look up from their page, “Huh?”
Blinking wildly they look around the room. For the first time they look wide eyed and innocent but it isn’t exactly an expression that fits them. Instead it feels completely out of place.
Leaning towards them uncertainly, Ibuki calls out, “Did you hear what Haji was telling us?”
“What was he saying?”
“Ughhh, you need to listen more.” Kazuichi face palms, groaning into his hand, “He was telling us that he spoke with Naegi.”
At once Byakuya flinches back. It almost feels like they’re going through a loop. Never escaping the repetitive questions. Just like all the others, they sit there wide eyed, asking exactly the same questions, “He’s made contact?”
Sighing deeply he resigns himself to his fate, going through the series of events all over again. Thankfully everyone stays diligently quiet through the entire thing. Practically hanging off his every word.
As he finishes Byakuya nods slowly, their brow furrowed in thought, “I see. I guess that is the most reasonable course of action then.” They might as well be rubbing their chin as they mumble more to themselves than to anyone else.
But even now they’re still clinging onto the book, clenching it in their fist. As they mutters they tuck the book down at their side, trying to hide it away as subtly as they can. But unfortunately it does quite the opposite. All it does is draw more of their attention towards the book they’ve been so engrossed in.
“Wh-What are you reading…?” Mikan is the first one to broach the topic. She stutters through her words as she leans around to try and sneak a peek at it.
“Uhhhh, nothing.” Their casual and stern expression is broken as their hand instinctively moves to cover it. It wasn’t just a coincidence, he just can’t tell if that’s a good thing or not.
What on earth could they be reading that they want to hide this badly? What would embarrass Byakuya of all people?
Ibuki doesn’t let the moment pass her by. Giggling to herself she smirks mischievously at Byakuya, “Oooooh! Nothing…huh…” She sing songs playfully. He almost feels bad for Byakuya…
“It really is nothing.” Byakuya flushes as they speak. Their hands grip onto the book, covering the spine diligently. Ready and prepared for whatever Ibuki is going to attempt.
It’s not just Ibuki they need to be ready for though. Akane is already rubbing her hands, eyes twinkling worryingly. For the first time in what feels like forever, she pushes herself up away from Nekomaru. Shuffling closer and closer to Byakuya. Menace written across her features.
“We’ll be the judge o’ that.” She smirks more and more with every step.
Voice raising with panic, Byakuya holds out a hand towards Akane. Trying to stop her as if she’s a wild beast on the loose, “Akane.” It does nothing to stop her onslaught though. She keeps pressing forward despite all their attempts.
While they’re distracted with Akane, Ibuki seizes the moment and launches herself at Byakuya. Her hand scurry forwards, grabbing onto the book and yanking it away before Byakuya can make any moves.
“Yoink!” Her giggle echoes around the room.
With all the energy of a hyperactive toddler she sprints across the room, holding her prize up high. For a while she darts about the room giggling until she hops up onto one of the counters. The book falls onto her lap where she can leaf through it at her own discretion.
Although Byakuya jumps up, ready to give chase, it’s already too late. Before they can make a move, Kazuichi, Mikan, and Akane have descended upon Ibuki. Heads bent over to read the pages upside down. Even if they tried to pry the book the the damage has already been done.
“Lemme see!” Akane bumps shoulders with Kazuichi. At this point her head might as well be entirely blocking the book as she stares harder and harder at the pages. Trying with all her might to decipher them.
For a moment he wonders if the book is in a foreign language or something. Why else would they be staring like that, wide eyed? But before the thought can even fully solidify it is smashed apart by Mikan's confused stutter.
“B-Baby names…?”
Almost immediately everyone jumps up from their seats. All previous thoughts completely abandoned in the dust. In their hurry they all push right past Byakuya, ignoring their beet red face. It’s hard not to feel sorry for them as they just look like they want to melt into the floor right then and there.
Hajime would be a hypocrite if he looked down on them for it though. Just like all the others he rushes right over, shoving past everyone to try and get the slightest glimpse of the pages. Each of them bash against everyone else. Trying to knock people aside with their shoulders. Vying for the limited space.
Sure enough, pages upon page upon page of names are inked onto the paper. Each one accompanied by a list of meanings depending in the Kanji used. Honestly, he’s not sure what they were all expecting to see. Mikan had said everything that needed to be said with those two words and yet they all had to be staring right at it to truly believe it.
It takes a few seconds to process at first. Its probably about the last book be would have been expecting Byakuya of all people to be reading. After all, how could a book of names keep their focus that much? But the more he thinks about it, the more sense it makes. All their conversations burn brightly in his mind. It's like the last puzzle piece has finally been slid into place.
Not everyone catches on quite as quickly though.
“You’re pregnant?!” Ibuki grasps, slapping her hands on her cheeks. The book almost slides off her lap, only saved by the quick reaction of Gundham as he sweeps it up into his hands.
Nekomaru laughs incredulously, “No, that’s clearly not it - he must have found a pet of some kind!”
He’s never wanted to slap himself in the face this much in his entire life. Sometimes he wonders why these were the people Junko recruited into her little schemes. Surely there was more hopeful prospects than these at a school such as that.
“In this hellish landscape. I think not. What cursed life could take root is such a soulless commune?!” Gundham huffs, flicking through the pages leisurely as if that is the only reason his suggestion was illogical.
Sighing to himself he backs away from the gaggle until he's able to catch a glimpse of Byakuya again. They still haven't moved an inch, their face lit up like a Christmas tree and hands curled into fists at their side.
Cautiously, Hajime moves closer, expecting Byakuya to flinch or fun off but they remain exactly where they are. Still as a statue. Only when Hajime is close enough that the others won’t be able to overhear does he address his friend.
“Any names catch your eye?” He gently nudges their shoulder, praying it will wake them up out of their stupor.
Regardless of how red it’s made Byakuya, it makes complete sense to Hajime. It’s nothing to be shamed of in the slightest. All their previous conversations are heavy in his mind. Do they really expect them to just be called Byakuya forever and ever. Forever wearing another’s name. Or have they never even considered it?
“No…” Byakuya gently shrugs Hajime off before stalking over to everyone else. No one puts up a fight as they pushes past them to grab the book from Gundham’s hands. “This is a stupid conversation.” Gundham can’t even blink before the book has been snatched away. It’s not like there was anything left for them to see though. They already saw everything they needed to.
With a beaming grin sat upon her face, Sonia runs to their side, “I think it is wonderful.”
Her hand reaches tentatively for his, letting their fingers interlock. He completely expects Byakuya to wrench their hand away but they do nothing of the sort. In fact…they might even be squeezing gently back. Somehow it manages to be somewhat cute - not that you would catch him telling Byakuya that.
“Yes, it makes perfect sense.”
He tries his best to offer supportive words but no matter how genuine he is Byakuya is unable to accept anything he says. All their opinions are already written off. All they can hear is their own embarrassment, “Hmph…”
It does make him wonder why they chose to read the book in the room in front of everyone though if this was how they were going to react. Surely someone as smart as them could see this eventuality coming to pass.
Humming, Nagito steps forward, his non mechanical hand gently rubbing his chin, “I don’t think a baby name book will help though.”
“What’s goin’ on? Am I missin’ somethin’?” Akane’s head spins about the room at unheard of speeds. Like a dog desperatley trying to get involved in the human conversations.
“Beats me.” Ibuki puffs out her cheeks, exhaling slowly.
At this point is it even worth explaining to them? When do they cut their losses and just give up? He wants to sigh but he doesn’t even have the energy for that anymore.
Luckily Mikan has infinitely more patience than him. And more brain cells at her disposal than the others, “I…I th-think they want to ch-choose a name for themselves.”
Much to his surprise, even Nekomaru is nodding along as if everything only just clicked, “I see! That’s amazing!” Yet somehow his overwhelming cheeriness makes it hard to stay completely mad at him. Even Byakuya can’t possibly write off the pure kind of honesty that oozes from Nekomaru.
However when he turns to check on Byakuya once again he’s met by a very different sight. With Sonia still holding one hand, Ibuki hops off the counter and grips their other hand. The very same one that is still maintaining a death grip on the book. He didn’t think Byakuya could turn any more red but apparently he was wrong. Being pulled in both directions they’re completely trapped. Unable to escape any of their watches. He can’t help but feel bad for them. There’s nothing they can do but listen to everyone’s honeyed words.
“You should let us choose a name for you! Something to suit your overflowing awesomeness!”
“You deserve a legendary title befitting of your stature amongst us.”
“Y-Yes…names chosen by friends are always special.”
Mikan’s voice is so soft amongst the chaos that it almost gets washed away and yet of all the people in the room, she’s the one that manages to catch Byakuya’s fleeting gaze. Well and truly melting them with a single look. He half expects them to spontaneously combust on the spot but instead the flush in their cheeks slowly dies down. Instead of hunching over he stands up straight. Lifting his head up almost as high.
Sensing a good opportunity to sweep in, they tilt their head to one side. Meeting Byakuya’s gaze just like that, “A name of your own is always important.” He speaks up, praying that just this once his words will get through. Praying that they remember some of their conversations for just long enough to let the words to sink in.
Sure enough…
They gently shake off Ibuki and Sonia, letting their arms fall limply back to their sides. No one makes any moves as they slowly walk past them. But instead of running off they stumble over to the couch slouching back down. The book goes tumbling onto the cushions beside him. Bouncing softly before settling, the pages splayed open.
Their head drops into their hands, drooping down awkwardly. The rest of them don’t even dare breathe as they sit there motionless. Each and every one of them simply hangs off their every breath, waiting for them to say something. Anything.
“I…I don’t even know where to start.” They groan, utterly defeated. But the fact they’re even saying that brings the touch of a smile to Hajime’s lips.
With Byakuya’s head turned away from them, the rest of them all the share a quick look. Offering supportive smiles and wink before they finally shuffle over. All of them dropping back down onto the couches.
Ibuki and Sonia cautiously take seats right next to Byakuya, waiting to be brushed off but nothing of the sort ends up happening. Everyone else just filters around slowly. Drifting into free spots without needing to exchange a word.
None of them are quite sure what to say. It’s not like they know how you’re supposed to choose a name. Why would they? When you’ve just had your name since birth it’s hard to feel the weight of such a moment but when you’re given a choice suddenly everything feels much more important. It’s like tying up your identity in a neat little package. Determining everyone’s first impression of you.
He shouldn’t be surprised when Akane is the first one to speak up. Her crooked grin hasn’t broken even for a moment. As always she’s light and sparkling. Always Akane.
“Ibuki weren’t wrong before. If we chose your name for ya it’ll be extra meanin’ful.”
But even as she speaks, Sonia bites down on her lip, hands curling in her lap, “But that is a lot of weight to put on our shoulders. What if we are not up to the challenge?”
“Fuhaha! We must always tackle challenges head on. If you shy away from the battlefield your blade will never be honed.”
Gundham’s laughter is enough to spark them all into action. Before they realise it they’re all gathered around the coffee table. Or at least as ‘gathered’ as you can be given the limited space. Even Byakuya has slid off the couch to join them on the floor. The book of baby names is open on the table in front of them, already looking worse for wear.
It turns out getting constantly pulled between them all doesn’t make for the best treatment. Especially not when they’re all forcibly turning the pages to try and flick to the names of their choice.
When they first started it seemed like a good idea but he’s starting to understand Sonia’s point. None of the names they ever come up with feel…right. More like an ill fitting glove than anything else. It certainly doesn’t help when people are instantly nitpicking each one before they’ve even had the slightest chance to consider it.
“We should call you Niyuki!” Akane cackles, pointing at the strange looking name on the page.
“No thank you…” Byakuya turns up their nose almost immediately. Swallowing hard as they purse their lips as sternly as possible.
“Hahaha! I think it’s cute and suits you!”
“I’m not being called that forever.” Is that a pout? It takes everything he has not to laugh.
As much as he wants to help, he doesn’t even bother looking at the book. There are many things he can do and help with but this isn’t one of them. Not when he’s surrounded by everyone else. He’s never felt more like a distant observer, but surprisingly he doesn’t mind. In fact, he kind of likes it…
It’s not just him either. Nagito is also sat slightly further back. Leaning up against the couch, his head almost completely tilted back to rest on the couch cushion. For a moment he almost thinks the mans eyes are closed but then he catches the slightest glimpse of his iris staring up at the ceiling. Off in his own world.
“Oh, I like the name Akira!” Sonia slams her hand down on the book before anyone can swipe it away.
But regardless of how excited she is, it ends up the same way as everything else, “I don’t feel like that fits me…”
"You could totally be an Akira.” Kazuichi tries to slap Byakuya’s back but all that earns him is a disapproving scowl. And that alone is enough to make Hajime smirk.
“Yes, totes!” But even with Ibuki’s stamp of approval they don’t shift their opinion in the slightest.
Hajime can’t say he blames them. Even if they like it as a name he can’t imagine ever calling Byakuya that. It doesn’t matter how nice the name is, if it doesn’t fit then it doesn’t fit.
“I th-think Rin would s-suit you…” Mikan doesn’t even dare look up as she speaks.
But before anyone can even consider her suggestion, they are all distracted by a soft voice behind them. After minutes of silence, it’s now that Nagito finally speaks up. Offering up a name without even looking at the book. “What about…Kazuma?”
At once silence descends over the room. The name hanging between them. Feeling it turn around in their heads.
“Kazuma?” Byakuya hums gently, brow furrowed tightly.
“With the kanji for ‘peace’ and ‘genuine’ it feels fitting. I think a name like suits you.” Nagito tilts his head softly to the side. He can’t help but wonder if he’s even aware of how everyone is looking at him. Knowing Nagito it’s hard to be sure of anything.
“Kazuma…” They might as well be chanting the name. Feeling it rolling over their tongue. Testing out the feeling of it.
“I like that name too. Its super cool and refined, just like you!” Ibuki squeals gleefully.
He wants to disagree with her but it’s hard to when she’s right. Cool and refined… That does sort of sum them up to a T. Or at least the version of the person he’s known up until now.
However much to his surprise, instead of checking with Sonia or Nekomaru (or even Mikan), the one they turn to is none other than Hajime. Any hint of humor is gone from their face now. Right here and now they look oddly innocent. Wide eyes. Pleading. Hajime can sense they’re trying to read something from Hajime but he has no idea what that could be. There’s no way they’re looking for Hajime’s opinion…right?
Nevertheless he smiles warmly, sitting up a little straighter, “Nagito’s right. That suits you.” He clears his throat, trying to avoid the way everyone else is now looking around at him, “Do you like it?”
“I…” They all wait with baited breath as Byakuya drags out the moment. Their heart beats might as well be the drum roll counting them down. But then with just a few words all the tension is cut away, “I think I do…”
As if they had just run a marathon or cured cancer, everyone immediately starts clapping. Someone, he can’t place who, even starts cheering out loud. Practically shrieking. He can only imagine how this must all sound from the perspective of everyone in their rooms. They must think they’re all insane but that probably isn’t too different to before. Hell, they’ve had to put up with this for years. Maybe they’re just used to it at this point.
“Yay! Kazuma, Kazuma, Kazuma! I can call you Kazu!” Ibuki throws herself onto Kazuma, wrapping her arms around their neck playfully. Kazuma tries to harden their expression to give her a disapproving look but they’re, of course, completely unsuccessful. But he must say he likes it better this way.
A light feeling hangs across the entire room for the rest of the day. Even as they sit amongst the chaos of Ibuki and Sonia running rampant through the kitchen. Nothing can bring down the mood. Most of them are smart enough to steer well clear. Not Mikan though. She is trapped on the dining table right in the splash zone. Neither Sonia nor Ibuki seem to notice her getting sprayed with flour and sugar.
The book of names still rests on the coffee table. They don’t even bother closing the somewhat tattered pages. No one even gives it a second thought.
No one but Hajime at least.
No matter how much he tries to pull his gaze away, his head always turns back that direction. He should be helping Ibuki and Sonia. Or he should be celebrating with Gundham, Nekomaru, and Kazuma. Or even hiding away with Kazuichi and Nagito. But instead he’s just stuck on the couch trying not to look at the damn book.
Names spin around in his mind. Clinging onto him. Digging their claws in.
He should have know this day would come eventually… With Kazuma all sorted with their new path, where does that leave him. What is his name? It’s all well and good talking about names and identities but ever since he’s woken up he’s been running from that himself.
Kazuma had asked him once before what he wanted to be called but he wasn’t sure back then…
Almost as if they can read his mind, Kazuma slowly wanders over, head hanging low as they step closer and closer. Even as they sit down beside him, they don’t say a word. It’s not until they’re pressing a glass into his hand that he seems to wake up and look at the room around him once more.
Clearing his throat he offers Kazuma a gentle smile, “Nice to meet you Kazuma.” Maintaining the smile he takes a small sip of the drink. It’s far too sweet - some sickly fizzy drink - but he takes another sip anyway. Letting it settle on his tongue.
“Nice to meet you too...” Kazuma holds out a hand towards him.
Without a second thought he reaches out to take it. Enjoying the warmth that radiates from their skin. Soft. Soothing. Smothering.
“You can call me Hajime.”
“Hajime it is.”
As he takes another sip of his drink he basks in the uncomfortable sweetness. For a moment he can almost pretend it’s nice.
Notes:
I wanted to give Kazuma a more unisex name but I grew really attached to the name when researching so it's stuck. I think it works either way - the name has become so synonymous in my mind sometimes I call them Kazuma outside of my story too which is awkward.
I don't want to think about how long I spent studying baby names (probably longer than I have ever spent naming anything else 😂)
Chapter 29: 23rd of May
Summary:
Hajime wakes up for an early morning snack only to be dragged into another chaotic plan
Chapter Text
23/05 - 05:56
Yawning he steps out into the corridor, stretching out uncomfortably. It must be early morning at this point but he lets himself be carried forward by his stomach. It’s not like he’s getting any more sleep now anyway. He might as well start getting some food now before the place is crawling with people. For once he’s starting to miss the time before they had everyone awake and about. Back when he could have a silent breakfast.
Still rubbing his eyes, he stumbles into the communal area. Slowly padding down the dark hallways. Shadows stretching out everywhere. Maybe it’s because of the darkness or maybe he really is just far too tired, but it takes a few seconds for his brain to catch up to the world around him. He's already right in the middle of the kitchen before he notices the soft sighing and creaking coming from the dining table. The perfect silence completely broken.
Slowly lowering his arm, he stops in his tracks to examine the room. Sure enough he isn’t alone in the room. A large shadow is hunched over, head resting in their hands. It’s not like he’s been being quiet as he entered but whoever it is seems as unaware that they have company as Hajime was.
As his eyes adapt to the darkness, the figure comes into view. It’s none other than Nekomaru, his head hung low. If he wasn’t still sat relatively upright it wouldn’t be hard to mistakenly assume he was sleeping.
For a few seconds he remains right there. Just watching Nekomaru. But no matter how long he stays there Nekomaru never once sits upright.
Cautiously, he shuffles backwards until he hits the wall, his hand reaching to gently flick on the light. At once the entire room floods with a dazzling - almost blinding - light. They’re both left bearily blinking. Trying to save themselves from the assault on their eyes.
Wincing he rubs at his eyes once again, brow furrowed, “Nekomaru? Are you okay?”
Nekomaru’s arm is still firmly planted in front of his eyes as he groans uncomfortably. He would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a little bad. Some light would probably do them both some good though.
But eventually he does manage to free his eyes. Braving the brightness, “Huh? Oh, it’s you.” He groans once more, tucking his head down until it’s almost completely hidden away, “I’m not okay…”
Of cour - wait…no?
He stares at Nekomaru like the other man is speaking in tongues. He might as well be. Hajime can’t for the life of him remember the last time someone honestly admitted they weren’t feeling okay. Have they ever?
As soon as the shock has worn off and he regains his motor function he slinks forward. Sliding into a chair opposite from Nekomaru. It takes him a few seconds to figure out where he should even be putting his hands. Flailing them about. Stuck between reaching out tenderly towards Nekomaru and keeping his arms tightly tucked away at his side. In the end he lets himself get stuck in this middle. Hands laid out on the table, still a few centimeters away from Nekomaru but far enough out that he looks completely awkward.
“What happened?”
Nekomaru groans yet again. His hand winding into his hair and tugging at the strands, “It’s Akane…”
Of course it is. He doesn’t even need to give it a second thought. Even at a time like this he’s still worrying about her. Then again, who wouldn’t after getting a good look at her?
Even still he asks, “Is she okay?”
Silence. They both sit there, breathing in the moment. The more he sits there, the clearer it is he is hanging off of Nekomaru’s every breath. Reading into his every muscle twitch and stuttering movement.
“She is getting weaker and weaker. She’s letting herself waste away.” A hand runs down Nekomaru’s face as he speaks.
“Well that’s nothing new…” He mutters softly. Keeping his voice as low as he can.
Having her out and about might be slightly less worrying than how she had been before but that’s not enough to distract them from the state of things. Nothing would be enough to distract them from that. It doesn’t matter how much she smiles or messes around, she can’t trick their eyes. She hasn’t even been trying to.
It does make him wonder why the sudden early morning brooding though. If this has been entirely obvious from day one then what has sparked this all of a sudden?
Nekomaru’s sigh reverberates from deep in his soul, “You might be right. It feels wrong though after seeing how she was in the Neo World Program. I almost forgot what she used to be like.”
He can’t say he blames Nekomaru on that one. Bit by bit that version of Akane is drifting back into the past again. Right back to where she belongs.
“It’s not as bad as it could be. Her personality is at least more like it used to be now.” He offers it up weakly but that only makes Nekomaru bark out a laugh. The sound almost makes him jump out of his skin.
“Ha. What a naive thought.”
“Well what more can we do?” He bristles slightly, trying to stop himself from scowling, “You weren’t here when we first woke up but if you had been you would understand. She wouldn’t even come out of her room. At least now she’s spending time with everyone.”
No one else saw how she used to be. It’s a miracle she’s even willing to hang out around them. Only Sonia, Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko can properly understand. Even if they try to imagine it they can never fully appreciate how things could be.
But then his mind finally catches on. Maybe they can understand. After all, isn’t it basically the same thing they’ve been seeing with Teruteru now. Locked away. Sealing themselves up. Refusing food. They’re both cut from the same cloth. The only difference is that Akane is now willing to at least engage with them all.
Of course, even with his explanation, Nekomaru just shakes his head slowly. Searching for the right words to make Hajime understand.
“She’s going to waste away. Last night we were in here after everyone left and she could barely even walk back to her room.”
“It was that bad…?”
Even with everything he’s seen it's oddly hard to imagine. Just weeks ago the same thing had been happening as they were recovering from the program but she had been getting better, right? There’s no way Nekomaru would lie though. What reason would he have?
Sure she was still as thin as ever but she had seemed pretty good yesterday. She didn’t exactly have any issues running about with everyone else. It’s hard to reconcile that with what Nekomaru is saying. It certainly explains the brooding though.
“How did you get her to start coming out of her room?” Nekomaru asks tentatively. As he does he raises his head, resting his chin on his hands as he looks Hajime up and down.
He pauses, trying to recall what had happened. It might have just been a few days or weeks ago but it already feels like years have passed. Everything from before the others woke up is just a distant dream. A nightmare. Blurring and barely visible on the horizon.
“I’m not sure… She just came out one day to sort out my hair for me.”
He doesn’t remember doing anything differently on that day or the day before. One day she had been sealed up, refusing to even look their way, and the next she had been happily out and about. Dragging him off without a second thought. He hadn’t exactly put much stock in it at the time. Honestly, the fact she was out felt far more important than the why.
It’s probably not what Nekomaru wanted to hear though. However if anyone knew a way to coax her into making improvements it would be Nekomaru not him. He’s not shortsighted enough to think talents given to him by Hopes Peak are enough to beat out Nekomaru’s knowledge of the woman.
“Hmmm…”
“It’s not just her either.” Hajime adds, subconsciously running his finger along the wood of the table, “I mean you saw Teruteru, right?”
“You’re right…they are both doing…poorly.”
That’s certainly one way of saying it. Poorly barely even begins to scratch the surface though. And he gets the feeling it might not be a surface they want to be scratching all that much.
He can’t help but feel a little guilty at the thought of Teruteru. It’s not like they did great with Akane - far from it - but they still made more of an effort than they did with Teruteru. There have been no bowls of food left steaming outside the door. No knocking. No calling. No attempting to drag him out. They’ve basically just backed off. Leaving him to himself.
The closest they ever got was when Akane checked the kitchen and found Teruteru but he never even found out what happened that night. It’s soley between the two of them.
“I haven’t seen him eat a thing since he woke up. And Akane’s been throwing her food away. She did it at the party.” He rips off the band aid, already wincing just thinking about how Nekomaru will respond.
It’s not like its the most surprising information in the world. They could probably all have guess that was happening. But still…that doesn’t change the feeling in the moment.
He prepared for Nekomaru to be angry at him for not bringing it up. Or for him to be dejected. Maybe even mad at Akane. But he shows no response at all. Just hard lines and stiff features as he hums quietly.
And then, with no warning at all he suddenly stands up, practically throwing the chair backwards. His focus is wholly directed at the corridor. Immovable and unshakable. Hajime doesn’t even have the chance to stop him before he’s started marching off to do gods knows what. A million possibilities race through his mind and not a single one of them is good.
“Wait! Nekomaru!” He jumps up and makes chase as fast as he can, hot on Nekomaru’s heels, “What are you doing?!” But no matter how much he calls, Nekomaru doesn’t slow down at all. Not until he reaches Akane’s door.
“I’m tired of watching them kill themselves.”
And with that he yanks open Akane’s room. Neither him nor Akane can do anything to stop him barging in completely uninvited. A runaway train headed on a collision course.
In one final last attempt he calls out, “Nekomaru!” But his calls fall on deaf ears. All he can do is watch in horror from the doorway as Nekomaru heads straight for Akane.
Given the time of day he had almost been expecting her to be asleep in bed but that’s not the case at all. Instead she’s leaning against the side of her bed, head resting on her knees. Not asleep and yet still sat there, almost motionless.
But as soon as the door flies open she lifts up her head, eyes wide and brow furrowed. At first she doesn’t move, stunned into complete silence. Those first few seconds are all Nekomaru needs to bend down and grab ahold of her, hoisting her over his shoulder with ease.
Once upon a time it may have required a little effort - he remembers all too well how much effort it had taken to hoist her toned body back in the beach house in the Neo World Program - but not he might as well be carrying a pillow. His legs don’t even buckle as he chucks her over his shoulder and lifts her up off the ground.
Sure, her legs kick back at him ferociously but a single hand is enough to pin her legs down . No matter how much she fights back there’s nothing she can do.
“Nekomaru get the fuck off‘a me!” Her head whips to and fro frantically but Nekomaru doesn’t even flinch, “Lemme go!” She tries to bite at him like a feral animal but it does nothing to slow Nekomaru down as he begins marching her out of her room.
He should probably do something…right? Stand in Nekomaru’s way or demand he put her down. Regardless of his reasoning, forcibly carrying her like that isn’t the right solution.
But even though he knows that, he doesn’t take a step forward to help her. Not even as she bites into his forearm hard enough for blood to start dripping. It’s only when she starts screeching like a banshee that he finally snaps out of it, waving Nekomaru down somewhat.
“Come on, you should probably put her down. You can’t just manhandle her.” He holds out a hand as Nekomaru approaches the doorway. Forming a pathetically flimsy barrier.
God, this would look terrible if someone was to venture out of their rooms now. It’s honestly a miracle no one has. Sure, the walls dampen some of the sound but if he could hear Fuyuhiko having a nightmare way back then, there’s no way they can’t hear Akane’s feral screeches.
It seems even though he’s the least sturdy wall in existence, it’s just about enough to grind Nekomaru to a halt. At least temporarily anyway. He rolls his eyes and his shoulders twitch slightly. Shifting Akane a little until she’s positioned more comfortably on his shoulder.
“Fine, I’ll let you go if you can break free.” He grumbles with a gravelly voice. His voice commanding even over the sound of her screeches.
At first he assumes she hasn’t heard over her own cries but after a few second she falls still and silent. Unmoving. Completely rag dolling over his shoulder.
“What -?!”
“If you are strong enough to break free then I will let you do anything you want.” Nekomaru growls sternly like he’s nothing more than a parent disciplining their disobedient child.
Cautiously, Hajime begins backing away, ready to give them as much space as they need. It certainly helps that he’s going to be out of the kicking and headbutting reach. And most importantly, biting range. He would rather not see Akane make an attempt at him, no matter how unsuccessful it might be.
“So what, I have’ta be stronger than you to be healthy now?” She hisses, still thrashing her head but at least the screeching has stopped.
“The Akane I knew before would have found it easy.” Nekomaru chuckles but none of them are fooled into thinking there is any actual humour there.
“That don’t mean shit.”
“The Akane I knew would have cared.”
That’s enough to make her stop. Like the plug has been pulled in one swift movement. She simply hang there, seething. Tiny, unmistakable tears clinging to the corners of her eyes.
“Fuck off.” She mutters under her breath. Malice seeping off of her in waves.
She’s already said enough though. No more words need to be exchanged. Sure she might not have verbally acknowledged him but her body language said everything that Nekomaru needed.
With his resolve only hardened, Nekomaru marches forward past Hajime. But much to his surprise, instead of heading back down towards the communal area he storms further up the corridor. Planting himself in front of one of the doors. Both hand still firmly pinning Akane down. Even if she isn’t screaming anymore he’s not taking any chances. Hajime gets the feeling that a lapse for a single moment is all she would need.
Growling he nods over at Hajime, readjusting Akane slightly as he stands in front of the door, “Hajime, get the door for me.”
He falls in line straight away, rushing over to the door immediately. Even if he didn’t remember where people were staying he wouldn’t need to ask about this room. There’s only one person who could be staying in here.
The door swings open with ease. Does no one around here bother locking their doors? Part of him feels somewhat honored at the trust they’ve place in them (that him and Nekomaru are now flagrantly breaking…well done). But the other part of him is dumbfounded by their stupidity. It’s a miracle they’ve survived this long…
Unlike Akane, Teruteru is actually in bed. Tucked up unaware of what is about to hit him. If he didn’t feel bad before then he most certainly does now.
Hajime isn’t sure what it is that actually wakes up Teruteru. Maybe it’s the crashing of the door. Or maybe it’s the sound of Akane struggling. Or maybe it’s neither of those and it’s instead when Nekomaru drops Akane like a sack of potatoes onto the mans sleeping form. But either way it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that Teruteru is rudely jolted awake, a squirming Akane writhing in his bed. The poor man is left rubbing his eyes, looking around blearily as his brain tries to slowly wake itself up.
“Akane? Nekomaru? Hajime?” His mouth seems to move before his brain. Every thought stilted and awkward.
“Sorry for the intrusion…” Hajime clears his throat awkwardly but the apology falls a little short given the situation.
“What’s going on?” Teruteru claws at the covers, trying to keep them wrapped around him despite Akane’s sudden movements.
“We're having an intervention.” Nekomaru crosses his arms as he bellows out across the room. He stands directly in front of the bed, forming a rock hard wall between them and freedom. Unsure of what else to do, Hajime slinks into the doorway, blocking it off just like Nekomaru. In for a penny, in for a pound at this point.
He’s starting to regret not stopping Nekomaru sooner. To think, he could be enjoying some nice food right now but instead here he is holding his friends hostage. Not quite how he saw his morning going. He doubts many people do though. Then again this wouldn’t be the first time Nekomaru has kidnapped people so perhaps it’s not as strange as he might have thought.
“An…intervention?” Teruteru raises his eyebrows incredulously. As if he can’t possibly imagine what they might need to intervene on.
“He’s lost his mind!” Akane spits angrily but Teruteru and Nekomaru completely ignore her.
“I refuse to let you both go on like this so me and Hajime are putting our foot down.”
“You and Hajime, huh?” Teruteru looks him up and down once. And twice. Eyes narrowing further and further each time.
“I’m gonna stand here and not let either of you leave while Hajime gets you both some food.” Nekomaru says it with such confidence as if this was something they planned out before hand and not a sudden impulsive choice Hajime found himself wrapped up in.
Nevertheless he doesn’t bother refusing. If he’s gotten to this point then there’s no point in backing out. Besides, maybe this is what they’ve needed all this time. A little tough love. His gut churns in disagreement but he does his best to ignore it.
Following Nekomaru’s instructions he hurries back into the kitchen and begins tearing the place apart, searching for something that would be appropriate for Akane and Teruteru of all people. Given the time he has available he doubts he’ll be able to make anything that appeals to Teruteru’s palate but if he can just find something that won’t destroy their stomachs then they’ll be making progress.
Eventually he settles on some canned chicken soup. Far from gourmet but given the situation its about the only fitting thing. Tipping two cans into two bowls he shoves them both in the microwave, letting the light flicker on as the bowl spin around slowly.
Every second that ticks by feels like hours. He can feel every individual beat of his heart. A metronome hurrying him along. Part of him wants to see how Nekomaru is getting along but he would be lying if he said it wasn’t nicer out here away from the heavy tension.
Nevertheless it’s a relief when the microwave finally dings and he’s free to head back. Logically he knows he should probably take the extra few seconds to grab something to cover his hands but at this point he’s lost the energy to care. The warm enticing notes of the soup already making his mouth water. The sooner he gets the bowls away from him, the sooner he can go back to forgetting the grumbling of his stomach.
And so, gripping both bowls in his bare hands, he carefully stalks down the corridor and back to Teruteru’s room. As he steps in he’s greeted by complete silence. Not even Akane is making a noise now. Have they just been staring at each other the entire time he’s been gone? He swallows the lump in his throat.
“Thanks Hajime.” Nekomaru takes the bowls from Hajime without even asking before thrusting them at Akane and Teruteru. Considering the ferocity with which he thrusts it at them it’s a miracle he doesn’t spill hot soup all over them both, “Eat this. Both of you.”
Without many other options they both are forced to grab onto the bowls, holding them awkwardly outstretched as if they had never come across soup before in their life.
“I’m not eating this.” Teruteru wrinkles up his nose. He holds the bowl as far away from him as he can - which admittedly isn’t exactly far…
“I’m not leaving here until you’ve eaten the entire thing.” Nekomaru folds his arms, casting a harsh shadow over them both. With them both sat down on the bed he is towering over them both even more than usual. Staring them both down menacingly.
But no matter how imposing Nekomaru is, it does nothing to Akane’s defiance, “You can’t make us.”
This really isn’t getting anywhere, Hajime sighs to himself.
Should he really be letting Nekomaru do all the hard work? Maybe it’s time for him to pull a little more of his own weight.
Trying to muster the right words, he steps up to Nekomaru’s side. Surely there’s something he can say that will get through to them. His mind is consumed by Alter Ego’s suggestion. Connections, huh…
“Look, we’re just worried about you both. We’ve finally gotten everyone back and alive but it feels like we’re on the verge of losing you both again.” He tries to plead with them both but they both tilt their heads away, almost perfectly in sync with each other.
Do they still not get it?
White hot rage sears through him. Raging brightly. They’re not stupid - no matter how they may seem at times. There’s no way they don’t understand what this is going to do to the rest of them. The pool of people they can rely on is already so small.
Well if they don’t understand then he’s going to show them.
Without another word he grabs the still full bowls of soup from their hands and thrusts them back to Nekomaru who thankfully steps back, not saying a word. Teruteru and Akane are left to blink at him uncertainly, bracing their frail bodies as much as they can.
They don’t quite brace quick enough though.
He doesn’t wait for permission, he simply reaches his arms out and sweeps them both into a hug. Tucking their heads over his shoulders as he squeezes them tightly.
He might not have known them both amazingly well before all this, but he most certainly knew enough about them to notice the way they sank into every touch. Always chasing after it. How they lapped up even the slightest gentle touch from anyone - not even just Junko. He’s just praying nothing has changed after everything that has happened.
For a few seconds they just sit there. Neither of them move their arms to hug back but he refuses to let go. Clinging on desperately. His eyes subconsciously screw closed as he prays to any god out there. He really has sunk low…
Eventually he starts to whisper softly, letting his mouth lead before his brain. Hoping his instincts are better than his mind right now, “I’m not going to pretend I know what’s going on in your head. It’s impossible for anyone, even me, to understand everything. But we can’t stand here and let you kill yourselves. There are so few people left in our lives that we care about and I don’t think any of us can stand to lose anyone else. I’m not saying you need to change everything but we have let this slide for far too long.”
He forces his eyes open and leans back just enough so that he can actually see Teruteru and Akane’s faces. He needs to look them in the eyes as he says this. If they believe nothing else then they need to believe this, “If you aren’t going to fight for yourselves then we’ll fight for you.” He clenches his jaw tightly, refusing to back down for even a moment.
Nothing.
Even now they refuse to look at him. Teruteru’s eyes are tightly knitted closed. Sealed up as much as possible. Refusing to let him in at all.
Maybe this was all just stupid. Why did he even bother?
Clearing his throat, he tries to pull back. But as soon as he does, Teruteru’s fingers dig into his arm, locking him in. Even Akane doesn’t back away - although she doesn’t attach herself to him the same way. A shot of hope streaks through him, lighting his nerves alight.
“Please, let us.” He lowers his voice as much as possible. Dragging out his best begging voice.
Neither of them says anything but surely the fact they’re still letting him hug them like this means something…right? Right? There’s no way it can’t mean something!
They don’t have time to think about that though. They barely even have time to breathe before it happens. Large arms wrap around all three of them, practically crushing them. Any semblance of distance that had been around them before is squished into nothingness. Arms pinning them as tightly together as humanly possible.
“Come here!” Nekomaru chuffs, holding them all in a death grip.
He could swear he can feel warm tears hitting his arm but from this angle it’s impossible to tell who they’re from. Instead he does his best to pretend he has noticed them at all.
It takes a good three or four minutes for Nekomaru to finally release them. Each and every one of then suck in a deep breath of fresh air as soon as he does, cherishing their freedom for a moment. This time Hajime backs off slightly but he still doesn’t dare fully get up. He simply rocks back off his knees so he’s sat a little further back so he can fully observe both of them.
“Whether you like it or not you are going to drag yourselves out of your room at least once everyday,” He stares down Teruteru even as he tries to turn his head and look away, “and you’re going to have a group meal with everyone.”
“But -”
“No.” He holds up a firm hand, “We’ve done it your way and now we’re doing it our way. A single meal everyday with everyone else.”
Will it put them out of their comfort zone? Probably. Maybe that’s what they were lacking though. Even if its just one meal a day, its better than not seeing them at all. Not just Teruteru either. Hiyoko and Mahiru. Peko and Fuyuhiko. The tension is going to die down if they avoid each other. If he’s choosing to trust Alter Ego’s judgement then this feels like the right step forward. Surely anything has to be better than whatever they have already been doing.
“And if we don’t?” Akane asks, as defiant as ever. However her voice lacks the usual roguish confidence he’s come to associate so heavily with her. It’s hard to maintain the defiant and rebellious facade when your words and voice are weak.
“Then we’re going to bust your room down and keep you under surveillance at all times of the day.” Hajime crosses his arms.
Nekomaru made it more than clear that it’s completely possible. Even if they finally wise up and start locking their doors there’s no way that will stop Nekomaru of all people.
“You heard Hajime.” As if reading Hajime’s mind, Nekomaru leans over him, clapping his back cheerfully.
Akane is scowling, her cheeks puffed out slightly as she tries to pout. The look certainly doesn’t suit her but he couldn’t care less. The only thing that he cares about is the way she huffs, “Fine.” Finally relenting under the peer pressure.
Both him and Nekomaru do their best to keep their cool as Teruteru and Akane finally reluctantly accept the now still hot bowls of soup. They don’t exactly take the biggest mouthfuls but he can’t bring himself to care. As long as they’re eating something. Anything.
He doesn’t miss the fact that Teruteru never actually accepted the terms. His lips perfectly sealed. Still practically hiding behind Akane as he takes shaky bites of the slightly watery liquid. Now isn’t the time to push him on it though. They’ll cross that bridge when they get there…if they get there. For now he just prays it was enough.
Chapter 30: 24th of May
Summary:
Following on from the day before Hajime and the others try to organise a group meal.
Chapter Text
24/05 - 10:34
The heat of the kitchen stove is sweltering as he leans over the hobs. Warm air swelling around the room. It would normally be more than a little unpleasant but the heavy smells of slowly roasting beef wafting up from the oven mixed with the rich smells coming from the soup take the edge off of things. They certainly don’t help his aching stomach though.
Normally if he was cooking alone he wouldn’t have any issues with sneaking a few ‘taste tests’ while he works but with Kazuma and Ibuki working around him he holds back. The last thing they need is Ibuki going to town before they’ve even had a chance to serve up the food.
Yet again he had been dragged into the food preparation for their first attempt at a group meal. All the work that went into giving him these talents and they’ve just been utilised to make him into a glorified dinner lady. It’s probably better than setting Sonia loose in the kitchen again though. Much to their relief, Gundham is keeping her occupied for a bit, saving them all from her culinary attacks.
“Kazuma, Kazuma, Kazuma.” Ibuki sings playfully as she hacks at the veggies on her cutting board with a knife. Each thump of the blade on the wood acts as the drums for her little song. It works almost too well…
Her hair whips back and forth as she brings the blade crashing down onto the unsuspecting chilis, still overflowing with an ungodly amount of energy. If he didn’t know her better he would think someone has been injecting coffee directly into her veins but there wouldn’t be enough coffee in the world to keep that going.
Once upon a time he had thought the name was nice. Soothing even. But now it barely even counts as a word. Or at least he can’t convince his brain it is. It sounds more like a jumble of noise that is digging into his brain. Just want he wants to deal with while he’s toiling over a hot stove.
“You’re going to wear the name out…” He groans and wipes some of the sweat off his brow with the back of his arm.
If he hears that damn name one more time he’s going to rip out his own ears. Maybe they should start checking every draw in the offices for headphones or ear plugs. Better yet, maybe some of the doctors will have some they can lend.
“Pftttttt! I’m just breaking it in, duhhhh!” Her cheer is apparently endless. Or if there is an end then no one has figured out how to reach it quite yet.
“Whatever, come here.” He rolls his eyes and gently reaches towards her shoulder, keeping his hand in fully view the entire time. Much to his relief her smile doesn’t drop as he taps her shoulder. Not even as he gently pulls her in front of the stove, bringing the chilis with her “Add them now.” He nods into the pot. They should probably add them as fast as they can, lest they become a mushy paste on the board.
The three of them drift about the kitchen with ease as they work. Moving around each other without even needing to speak most of the time. Not matter how much noise Ibuki makes, it’s hard to stay even mildly annoyed at her - not that he would let her know that.
“I have cut the onions for you.” Kazuma gently nudges Hajime with their elbow.
“Thanks, Kazu.”
Kazuma beams, suddenly looking about 5 years younger. Exactly how he imagines they must have looked when they first arrived at Hope’s Peak - fresh faced and hopeful for the future.
“You’re welcome, Hajime.” They hold their head high, unable to hide their grin even as Ibuki narrows her eyes at them.
For once she stops moving, tilting her head to one side. Studying them both as hard as she can. Trying to peer deep into their souls.
“What’s going on with you two. You’re being…weird…” Her finger points between them both, her entire face furrowed with thought. It seems silly to explain to her now though. There’s no way she of all people would make fun of them for it - if anything she would be just as happy as them - but that doesn’t dissuade his feelings.
“Don’t worry.”
But nevertheless she keeps suddenly glancing back to them regularly, as if she’s expecting to catch them red handed doing god knows what. They both simply shake their heads, trying to focus on all the preparations that need to be done before lunchtime.
Perhaps they should have dragged a few more people out to help. ‘Too many cooks spoil the broth’ sure, but too few certainly doesn’t help. None of them make any moves to get anyone though so they continue on working together. Slowly making more and more progress.
“Akane and Teruteru are going to love this!” Ibuki hums happily.
Honestly, he’s not actually sure. He might be a talented cook but he has no idea if Teruteru would ever be able to enjoy his cooking. Especially when it’s been made with the assistance of Kazuma and Ibuki. Not to mention he doesn’t exactly seem to be in the right state of mind to be enjoying any food right now.
Once upon a time he would have been certain that Akane would be all over his food but nowadays who knows. It wouldn’t be the first time she’s chucked out food he’s prepared. They can’t just cater to Akane and Teruteru though.
“I hope so…I think it might not be as easy as that though.” Kazuma sighs as they stir the soup on the stove absentmindedly.
“Today can be a kind of trial. We’ll see how it goes…” He tries to shrug casually as if he couldn’t care less. Just this once he needs to their group plans to not be a disaster. They’re owed this one. Surely they’ve built up enough of Nagito’s bad karma to start getting some more positives…
Thankfully Ibuki is there to shove them both playfully, dragging them both back to reality, “Stop being such debbie downers! If you keep your head in the rain clouds you’re only ever going to see rain.” She huffs, holding her head high, “How could they not love all this?! My mouth is already making a waterfall at just the smell!”
“I guess so.”
Positive thoughts…positive thoughts…
He does his best to avoid thinking about everything that could possibly go wrong as they continue on. Listening to Ibuki is probably the smartest thing to do now.
He’s so wrapped up in the cooking he doesn’t notice what Ibuki is doing before it’s too late. Not until he turns around and see the chaos laid out before him. Pots and pans have been strewn across the counter, all upturned with the bottoms of the pans facing up. And behind them all is Ibuki with two chopsticks in her hands. Despite her innocent smile, she’s never looked less innocent. And when it comes to Ibuki of all people that’s impressive.
“Ibuki…” He starts to raise his eyebrows but before he can even finish his thoughts she’s flashed him a wicked smile.
Then her chopsticks come crashing down onto the metal.
Hajime has time to slam his hands over his ears but poor Kazuma who hadn’t noticed what was happening is left exposed. At once they jump out of their skin, whipping around at record speed.
“What on earth are you doing?!” Kazuma barks out, eyes bulging wide.
“Playing drums, duhhhh!”
As if to try and demonstrate her point once again, she brings her chopsticks crashing down. But instead of stopping at the one beat, she keeps going. Crash after crash after crash. Building up the sound until it’s an orchestra roaring throughout the room.
He wants to hate it. He really wants to. But then he would be lying…because even if the volume makes him want to hunch over and cover his ears, the beat is almost too good. In the back of his mind he could swear he recognises the tune from somewhere. But no matter how hard he focuses, it’s always just out of reach. Taunting him.
Even Kazuma can’t seem to summon any complaints. Their mouth hanging open as they watch the way Ibuki’s hand move about with ease. Coaxing the music out more than just making it.
“Hehe! Ibuki has left you speechless with her radiance.” She spins the chopsticks around her finger with ease.
“It's been too long since I last heard your music.” Kazuma hums, leaning back against the counter. Despite their serious expression, the corner of their lip is unmistakably upturned.
He tries to think back on when he would have last heard it outside of the Neo World Program. There were a few times when he passed by the concerts put on by Hiyoko and Ibuki but they hadn’t exactly been appealing. All loud noises and bodies pressed together. Hot air and sweaty people. About the furthest thing from a place he would choose to be.
But in spite of that he still finds himself feeling a little regretful that he’s never truly taken the time to listen to her before. The closest he’s gotten is the funeral for Mahiru and the party for Fuyuhiko in the Neo World Program but it’s not like he was exactly taking the time to pay attention to Ibuki’s playing specifically at those times.
“There aren’t many instruments around so it can’t be helped.” He shrugs and turns his back on Ibuki and Kazuma; trying his hardest to refocus on the cooking. Trying and failing…
“I know! It’s super uber annoying! What’s the point of this place without any music?!” He can hear her growling through gritted teeth. And from the corner of his eye he can just about make out her glaring up at the sky as if blaming any gods above for their situation. There are a few things he would want to blame them for before thinking about the instruments.
“Well perhaps you should make your own instruments.” The words slip out with ease. He barely even needs to think about it.
After all, Ibuki is nothing if not creative and imaginative. If she’s happy using pots and pans as her drum kits then he refuses to believe she couldn’t piece together a few more pieces.
Part of him almost wants to suggest that Kazuichi can help her, but he holds his tongue. He’s put Kazuichi up to more than enough. He should probably not suggest anything without getting Kazuichi’s consent - especially when it comes to Ibuki and her enthusiasm.
“You betcha!”
She seems to take that as enough of an endorsement from them both because she immediately jumps to life. The pots and pans come back in full force, drowning out any other sounds in the kitchen. He can only imagine what the others must be thinking right now. At least it’s blatantly obvious who’s to blame for all the ruckus.
Not wanting to shut her down, him and Kazuma simply go back to work. Kazuma shifts slightly further down the counter until they're almost brushing Hajime’s shoulder. Neither of them even bother trying to speak. They both already know how that will go down. Instead they let Ibuki’s music accompany them. And if they find themselves gently humming along then that can just be their little secret.
Much to his surprise, she’s able to keep up the pace for far longer than he could have ever imagined. Food is prepared and set off in the oven or stored away in the fridge and she’s still playing. Every time he thinks she’s going to stop she just keeps going on. It’s honestly impressive.
It’s only when him and Kazuma brush off their hands and turn back around that she finally stops, still grinning mischievously. Her eyes twinkling the entire time.
“Whatcha think! Are you blown away yet!” She half pants, wiping her brow with her sleeve but she still doesn’t drop the chopsticks. How is she not ready for a break yet?
“I’m jealous. I was never good at music.” Kazuma sighs wistfully, looking far past Ibuki’s shoulder.
“Bahhh! That’s what losers say! Everyone is good at music. You just need to let your soul sing!”
“You make it sound so easy.” They chuckles softly, dipping their head as they do so.
They're not exactly wrong. Ibuki makes it all seem like second nature. Music is her very being. Of course he’s aware that unlike him, they all must have put in countless hours of work to get to where they are now. Surely there must have been a time when music was still a struggle even for her but he can’t imagine it for the life of him. It feels illegal to even consider.
But unfortunately he’s ripped away from his thought by the playful and mischievous call of Ibuki, “Ooooh Hajime should blow us all away with his skills.” She claps with boundless enthusiasm. Completely unrelenting.
He probably should have seen this coming.
“I’ve never even touched a drum.” He turns to Kazuma for back up but of course they choose now to just shake their head. Perfectly mimicking Ibuki’s devilish grin.
“But you’ve got the soul of a musician wriggling around in you. I’m going to free it!” She wiggles her finger as she speaks, inching closer and closer to Hajime. Even when he tries to back off she just keeps chasing him; all the while trying to shove the chopsticks into his hands.
“Hajimeeeee! Hajimeeeeee! Come on Hajimeeeee! Show us your skills!" She giggles wildly as she prances around the room. Every dragged out call chips away at him. Slowly wearing him down bit by bit until…
“Fine, fine. Give it here.” He sighs, forcing a scowl.
Before he can change his mind Ibuki has pushed the chopsticks into his hands. Not wanting to give him any chance to flee, she grips his shoulders from behind and pushes him forwards until he properly positioned. Only then does she skip over to Kazuma, forming a mini audience that is hanging off of his every movement.
“I really haven’t ever used drums before - just a word of warning.”
Of course he knows that doesn’t really mean much. There’s a million things he can probably do perfectly that he’s never tried before. But nevertheless it feels necessary. He’s never had to sit and and be judged by someone he’s taken the talent from. The closest he’s ever gotten is Kazuichi but the other man never seemed to pay much attention to Hajime’s mechanical work.
“Pfffft, I’m sure you’re gonna be amazing!” He has no idea where her unwarranted confidence comes from but that’s enough for him to take his place properly. Rolling out his shoulders experimentally.
Instinctively, his eyes close to let him drift away. His body slowly relaxing, releasing all the pent up tension clinging to him. Shutting down his entire mind he submits to his body. Allowing muscle memory to take over.
From there everything goes dark. He’s faintly aware of his hands moving but everything blurs together. He can’t even hear the sound he’s making. Nothing but the fizzing of static breaks through past the veil into his mind.
He doesn’t even know when his hands stop moving. They are just suddenly at his sides once again, chopsticks hanging loosely.
“Eeeeeee! I’m jealous now. Hajime is too perfect.” Ibuki’s squeal is the thing that knocks his brain free, jump starting him once again. He shakes his thoughts loose, digging his nails into the heel of his palm in an attempt to ground himself.
“Stop that.” He feels his cheeks heat up but he just scowls, shoving the chopsticks back into her hands, “It’s your talent anyway.” He clears his throat and stalks back to the kitchen counter, not looking back at the pots and pans.
That doesn’t stop Kazuma slipping back up to his side again. They stay just about far enough away to make sure they aren’t touching.
With a soft whisper they ask, “What was that song?”
His cheeks only get warmer and warmer. But no matter how much he strains his mind he has no clue what he could have played. There’s nothing that stands out in his mind.
“I don’t know. I sort of blanked it all out.”
“Awww, that sucks! Ibuki wanted to listen to that song more.”
He clears his throat shutting them both down as quickly as possible, “Come on, lets finish plating everything up. I’m hungry now.” He clears his throat shutting them both down.
He doesn’t have the energy to deal with this right now. They just need to get this meal done. That should be all he’s thinking about now. That’s all…
~~~
24/05 - 13:38
Hajime’s mouth waters as he stares out across the spread that lines the table. Sure, he might have made it himself but that only makes him more hungry. But regardless of how much he wants to tuck in, he has to hold himself back. Just for a little while longer.
Everyone is sat around the table and he means everyone. It had taken a little work but honestly, not as much as he had expected all things considered. Even Teruteru and Akane had come along without so much as a question, seating themselves together at one end of the table. United in their solidarity.
He had been hoping for a relatively peaceful meal. They’ve earned it after these last few weeks. But of course it would never be that easy. As soon as he had taken his seat next to Nagito, Hiyoko had strutted forwards, dragging Mahiru by the hand. Without even asking she had plopped herself into the chair beside Hajime, forcing Kazuichi to slink around to the opposite side of the table.
He has no idea what the etiquette is for this situation. Is he supposed to ask why she’s sitting there? Or is he meant to just go along with it…? But as soon as he sees Hiyoko’s devilish grin he holds his tongue. It’s not like the why matters anyway… He just needs to try and ignore Kazuichi’s pouting all meal now.
But even though they’re all there, sat around the table they’re stuck staring at the food, unable to tuck in. Sonia had thought it would be a great idea to start brewing tea for everyone. And apparently it’s rude to start serving food before everyone is sat down and ready. Considering it’s just the group of them eating he doesn’t see why this should matter but he doesn’t bother arguing. He simply sits back in his chair and keeps a tight leash on his patience.
Slowly Sonia potters about, gently cradling the tea pot as she sets small tea cups in front of everyone. More than anything he wants to be mad at her but seeing the peaceful smile on her face makes it unfairly hard. Sometimes he could swear she does it on purpose.
“My apologies everyone. I shall pour everyones tea now.”
Thankfully Nekomaru is there to save them all, “How about we pass the tea pot around as everyone starts getting their food?” He gently pries the tea pot from her hands, taking control for all of their sakes.
“Oh, that is a wonderful idea!”
At once everyone jumps into action, scooping up all the best food onto their plate as quickly as they can. It’s a cut throat battle but Hajime navigates the table with ease. Sweeping up the best bits without missing a beat. Even as he does so he doesn’t miss the way Nekomaru juggles the table, filling three plates as once apparently not willing to give Akane or Teruteru any wiggle room. The good faith still not earned.
“Good nom nom noming!” Ibuki sings, taking in a deep breath of her giant pile of food. Poor Mikan, who is still glued to her side, is forced to stare into the pile as Ibuki presents it like a prize. Displaying it to everyone around the table. Even Fuyuhiko gets a faceful as he rolls his eyes.
“Ughhhh, I thought we left that behind on the island.” Kazuichi sighs. The meal has only just started but he’s already rubbing the bridge of his nose.
“Good nom nom noming is too perfect to be banished to the island! I’m on a one woman mission to bring it back to life!” She says with the utter confidence that only Ibuki would be able to muster.
“Ummm, I-I’m sorry if I m-misunderstood but it’s not morning a-anymore…”
Ibuki waves off Mikan’s concerns with ease, “Good nom nom noming is perfect at all times of day.”
“Sure…” Kazuichi rolls his eyes but Ibuki doesn’t seem to notice, already shovelling her food into her face at an impressive speed. Her cheeks puffing up like a hamster.
It’s not just Ibuki. For a few seconds the entire table falls quiet. Nothing but the muffled sounds of chewing echoing around the room. Most of them aren’t even looking around, all completely focused on their own plates.
Hajime takes the moment to subtly eye up the other side of the table, peering past all the food to try and get a better look at Akane and Teruteru. If they had thought they would be able to get away with pretending to eat then they were sorely mistaken. Hajime might be the a good distance away but Nekomaru is watching them both like a hawk. Probably counting every spoonful of food that they take.
Part of him wants to keep an eye on them for the entire meal. It feels like the second he takes his eyes off of them they’re going to fall apart. However, if he wants them to improve then he should probably at least try to give them a little space. Besides, Nekomaru has it covered. So instead he turns back to his food, taking a big mouthful of beef and leaning back in his chair.
At his side, Hiyoko gently pushes her food around on her plate. Her nose is upturned as usual and she has donned a haughty expression but even she can’t hide the way she’s already almost finished her first plateful.
“Who even made this?” She grumbles, holding her head up high. It takes everything he has not to smile at that moment. He doesn’t even want to imagine how she would react to him laughing or smiling right now…
“Me, Ibuki, and Kazuma.” He nods to his sous chefs, letting them both give Hiyoko a little wave.
It all feels so natural that he doesn’t even realise how confusing that might sound to some people until Hiyoko frowns at him, “Kazuma?”
“Oh yes! The other day we were helping decide on an actual name for them as we cannot go on calling him Byakuya forever. We settled on the name Kazuma. It is most tight!” Sonia jumps in enthusiastically. Hyping up Kazuma with every ounce of her being.
Once again the serious and mature mask Kazuma wears is cracked for a moment as they light up with a startling shade of pink. It certainly isn’t helped by the compliments and smiles that begin to bombard them from all sides.
For the first time in days he sees Mahiru genuinely smile, her eyes crinkling warmly, “That’s a nice name.”
Even Hiyoko can’t avoid being somewhat nice, “I guess it’s not completely terrible…” At least as nice as she seems capable of. Baby steps.
“Thanks.” Kazuma tries to clear their throat seriously but it only makes them look even softer, “Anyway, we should be focused on the food not me. I hope it’s to your standards.”
At this point he’s not even sure if they have standards. Most food is better than things they have been eating for the last few years - perhaps with the exception of Sonia and Mahiru.
“Hajime made it so I’m sure it will be perfect!” Nekomaru flashes him a smile across the table but that only makes his cheek heat up uncomfortably.
“Oh wait! You haven’t had Hajime’s cooking, have you?” Ibuki leans over to Teruteru, poking his arm over and over. Much to his surprise Teruteru doesn’t seem all that bothered by it though. He looks more checked out than anything else. Pushing his food around on his plate in a similar way to Hiyoko, “I can’t believe you’ve been missing out on all this!”
“Hajime does the b-best cooking!” Mikan tries to nod encouragingly but the stuttering doesn’t exactly make her sound the most convincing.
“No…I don’t think I have.”
Reaching over, Akane picks up a small chunk of chicken on her fork, holding it up to Teruteru’s mouth, “You gotta try the chicken. Haji does great meat.”
The poor boy has no choice but to give in, letting Akane shove it in. His face is surprisingly stoic throughout everything but Hajime just about notices the way his eyes begin watering slightly. But within a few seconds all hint of the tears are gone and his face is as cold and distant as ever.
Not everyone is as big a fan of the meats available though. Across the table he manages to catch sight of Sonia gently rubbing Gundham’s back, soothing the boy as he pouts into his meat free plate. Ever the child. He can’t help but feel a little bad though… He didn’t really think twice about how Gundham would feel about all this. He’s a big boy though - he’ll live.
Doing his best to ignore Gundham, he turns back to his food, letting the conversations around him fade away. Voices becoming nothing more than noise in the background.
Slowly his plate gets emptier and emptier and the conversations around them get louder and louder. The only person seemingly not getting dragged into the festivities is Nagito sat at his side. Even now as everyone is talking and eating, he is simply sat with a book clutched in his metal hand as the other slowly works through the food on his plate. Lost in his own world just like Hajime.
“What’s your book about?”
God, why did he say that? His mouth needs to just stop talking without some oversight from his brain…
It takes a few seconds for Nagito to even realise Hajime is talking to him. Too wrapped up in his own book to notice anything around him. But when he does, he just blinks blankly. Holding up the book as if that’s enough to answer the question.
“My book? It’s a murder myste -”
Hiyoko groans, letting her heads drop down until it smacks into the hard surface of the table, “Ughhh boringggg! I can’t believe you’re talking about books at the feast.” He hadn’t even realised she was listening in. He’d sort of just assumed she would be busy with Mahiru but of course she’s snooping in on him and Nagito of all people.
“It’s more a meal than a feast.” He tries to correct her but it only earns him a grumble and an eye roll.
“Why did I even sit next to you boring people?”
“We didn’t ask you to sit with us.” Kazuichi grumbles under his breath, still eyeing up the seat Hiyoko had taken from him. Hiyoko must be able to hear him - even over all the chatter around the table - but she simply turns her nose up at him, crossing her arms grouchily.
“Maybe you should teach us what we should be doing at feasts.” He suggests playfully but Hiyoko just sighs, shaking her head disapprovingly.
“If I have to teach you then there’s no point.” Her haughty tone is almost enough to make him laugh but he holds himself back.
But instead keeping the focus on Hiyoko, Kazuichi turns to Nagito, “What did you used to do at those rich people dinners then Nagito?”
“Nagito?” Hiyoko tilts her head to one side, finally dropping the haughty look.
“Yeah, well he was stinking rich, right. You had the mansion and everything back in the day.” Kazuichi answers flippantly, barely even looking at Hiyoko.
Of course Hajime had been distantly aware of such a past - Nagito didn’t exactly keep it a secret - but even now he can’t quite imagine it. Nagito doesn’t exactly fit into the model of opulence Hajime has gotten to see in his travels. It’s not just his look. His entire personality and being just seems out of place in that kind of world. It does make him wish he could have seen Nagito at that time.
It seems it isn’t just Hajime who can’t quite believe it, “You were rich?!” Hiyoko gasps, mouth falling open.
“Did you remember anything about us?” Kazuichi groans, face palming.
“I didn’t really do much.” Nagito chuckles softly, “My luck normally got in the way so I usually just played with my dog in the corner of the room.”
For some reason that suddenly all fits. Everything else might be unbelievable but that he can visualise. In a way that might as well be what they’re doing right now.
Hiyoko isn’t quite as impressed though, “Ughhh, you’re all useless.” She’s already sinking down in her chair, trying to hide her face. Who she’s hiding from he has no idea - she’s stuck with them - but he decides its probably best not to say anything.
“That’s why you should try to teach us all. I’ll never be as good as you but I can try.” Unfortunately this time as Nagito speaks Hiyoko’s expression begin to shift. Her eyes narrowing as she seems to actually consider the possibility.
“You just had to ask again didn’t you.” Kazuichi hisses but it’s already too late.
“Fine. You have to listen up though.”
With that their fate is sealed. The once exciting meal quickly devolves into a long lecture. Who knew someone could say so much about their posture and tone of voice. And that's before they even get to the way they hold their cutlery. Just when they think they’ve reached the end, she starts pointing the next thing wrong with them all.
At first their ‘class’ is just him, Nagito, and Kazuichi and it doesn’t take long to determine that Hajime is clearly the star student. But considering his competition he probably shouldn’t get too excited.
However as clear as it is that Hajime is the star, it’s equally clear who the worst study is.
“This is stupid…” Kazuichi groans, throwing down his cutlery.
“Just because you can’t hold a fork properly.”
Unsurprisingly Hiyoko’s sneers don’t seem to make for the most effective teaching method. That is unless her aim is to well and truly piss him off. However much to his surprise Kazuichi still sticks around, bowing to Hiyoko’s demands despite the way his vein bulges on his forehead.
Although it’s just the three of them being lectured at first, that doesn’t last long. Mahiru might have escaped by being the teachers pet, no such thing protects Gundham and Sonia when they stop chatting and start paying a little too much attention to Hiyoko. The slightest crumb of interest is all she needs to start roping them into her plans. It’s like they’ve started her on an unending crusade. The dam finally bursting.
As it turns out the addition of Sonia and Gundham adds competition for both Hajime and Kazuichi’s positions in the class.
“Like this?” Sonia holds her hand out towards Hiyoko, demonstrating her perfect technique for holding chopsticks.
“Hmmm…it’ll do.” It turns out, in Hiyoko’s class, that might as well be top marks. Despite the lukewarm praise Sonia is beaming, flipping her hair over her shoulder smugly like she isn’t a literal princess (or he supposes queen now).
But in the end it’s Gundham that saved them all. As skilled as she might be with feasts, her training clearly never covered how to handle Gundham.
“Ha! Gundham Tanaka the supreme overlord of ice has perfect posture!”
Normally Gundham and Sonia couldn’t look more different - their styles are like night and day - but as they both preen themselves and hold their heads up high he’s struck by how similar they are. Their gloating faces shouldn’t look this alike.
Hiyoko’s jaw is clenched hard enough that Hajime can hear her teeth grinding with every breath. Slowly wearing down. Her hands are still gripping onto her chopsticks but he’s willing to bet she would be ripping her hair out right now if they weren’t still sat at the table.
“No! I’m telling you that you need to get rid of that filthy scarf and sit up properly. You’re too stiff.” She just about manages to hiss through her teeth. Bit by bit she’s turning redder and redder. Lava slowly bubbling up behind her skin. Ready to burst at any second.
Not that that dissuades Gundham of all people.
“Fuhahaha! You jest you fiend! I, Gundham Tanaka, shall teach you the true way to hold yourself.”
He should probably feel worse for her but it’s hard not to laugh at the scene in front of them all.
In the end Gundham is the one to save them all. Pulling out her hair she eventually has to throw in the towel. He has no idea if it’s even physically possible to reform Gundham into a model citizen at this point. Dragging Mahiru behind her she eventually disappears, leaving everyone else to clean up the kitchen.
Well almost everyone.
He had been so wrapped up in Hiyoko’s ‘lessons’ that he hadn’t noticed Teruteru, Fuyuhiko and Peko had all slunk off - presumably all back to their own rooms. However, even without the five of them there’s still more than enough people to pitch in and clean up. If anyone’s earned the chance to skip out on cleaning it’s him but he keeps his lips tightly sealed. At this point he’s just glad he’s not being left basically alone to do all the work. Besides, he doesn’t really mind cleaning up.
Bit by bit, people start breaking off, heading back to their own rooms as they finish their assigned regions. As the minutes pass more and more people vanish until just him and Nagito are left pottering about this kitchen.
He knew he shouldn’t have chosen to do the dishwashing duty…
“Ughhh, of course we’re the last ones left.” He grumbles, pulling out the sink plug as Nagito finishes drying up the last bowl.
Even Sonia and Gundham had disappeared, unsubtly slipping off to Sonia’s room without so much as a goodbye. Clearly Hiyoko’s lessons weren’t quite thorough enough.
“It could be worse. It’s actually quite calming cleaning up.” Nagito hums, his expression peaceful. He wants to believe that the calmness is just an act but he would just be deluding himself. Of course Nagito is happy to clean up…
“Yeah, yeah…” He rolls his eyes.
Realistically he only has himself to blame. He’s sure if he had asked people to stick around they would have been happy to. Besides, it’s not like he actually has to do much. He doesn’t want to like it though.
But even when he finishes washing up he hangs about, hopping up onto the table to perch on the surface. From there he watches Nagito move about the kitchen, carefully putting everything away. He has no idea when Nagito of all people had the time to learn the location of everything but he instantly finds the location of everything he comes across, gently sliding everything back into place.
He should probably go back to his room already. It’s not like he’s doing anything to help. But it still feels wrong to leave Nagito all alone like this.
What is he saying?
Nagito probably likes being alone. He’s relatively sure Nagito doesn’t dislike his presence - at least that’s what he assumes from the Neo World Program - but he certainly gives off the vibe of someone who likes his alone time. And yet every time he thinks of leaving guilt washes through him. So instead he just sits there perched until Nagito steps back, drying off his hands properly. Keeping the same put together posture that Hiyoko had taught him earlier he turns to face Hajime, as if waiting for him to do something.
“I suppose we should head back to our rooms now.” Hajime clears his throat, casually sliding his hands into his pockets.
“I suppose so.”
“Come on then.” Trying to smile confidently, he hops off the table and starts heading down the corridor, making sure to move slow enough so that Nagito can follow after him. When he does catch a short glimpse of the man behind him ,his head is ducked down staring at the ground. Since he’s not looking he only just avoids bumping into Hajime as he comes to a sudden stop in the middle of the corridor.
“Iz -” But Hajime simply holds his hand up, immediately silencing the other man.
The door to Teruteru’s room is just barely open. Not even a crack of light is slipping through but it isn’t quite fully latched. Normally that wouldn’t be of note - he was probably just in a rush and forgot to make sure it had fully clicked closed - but he could swear he heard something from the other side of the door. Even now he has no idea what but he’s sure he heard it. If he can trust anything he can trust his ears.
“What’s that?” He whispers, turning around as if Nagito of all people is going to be able to give him an answer. But sure enough all Nagito can do is shrug, keeping his lips sealed.
Creeping forwards quietly, he closes the distance between him and Teruteru’s door, leaning his head in close. Not quite pressing his ear to the wood but getting as close as he can before he does. He can only imagine how creepy he would look right now if Teruteru happened to open the door but that isn’t enough to convince him to back off.
Is it a breach of privacy…maybe. But he doesn’t have the energy or brainpower to care about that right now. He just needs to hope that Nagito doesn’t go tattling.
“What’s wha -?”
“Shhhh!” He hisses, pressing a finger to his lips, cutting off Nagito as fast as he can.
Sure enough, he hears the unmistakable sound of someone retching. Muffed slightly from the distance but still immistakable. His own stomach begins churning at the mere sound but he just purses his lips tighter.
Is he throwing up in there?
It only takes a second to piece everything together. His stomach immediately drops.
“Teruteru?” He knocks against the wood of the door, trying not to actually push the door open. “Teruteru, are you okay?” He calls out loudly but the sound of retching doesn’t die down. He can still hear it as clear and loud as ever. Not just him either. Nagito’s brow immediately crumples as he shuffles closer to Hajime.
“Maybe we should leave him be.” Nagito gently tugs on his sleeve, tenderly trying to pull him away. But no matter how much he tugs, Hajime refuses to budge. Digging his metaphorical heels into the ground.
“What’s the point of getting him to eat if he’s just going to throw it all up?” He growls, pulling his sleeve free.
After all the work it took to even get Teruteru out of his room they should have seen this coming. It was blindingly obvious that this would be the outcome of everything. He was being blind to not even consider it. He wants to tear his hair out but he settles on just digging his nails into his palm instead.
However despite the sudden jerk, Nagito doesn’t move an inch. He stays right by Hajime, staring at him unflinchingly. It’s easy to forget that Nagito can be as stubborn as him sometimes.
“It’s not that easy to fix people…”
“I’m not trying to fix him.” But as soon as he says it he knows its a complete lie. He’s not even sure why he’s lying. At this point he just wants to disagree with Nagito.
“If you want to help him then busting in there now and humiliating him isn’t going to help.” Nagito might as well be pleading with him. He’s is pretty sure Nagito hasn’t even blinked.
“What do you suggest then?” He scowls, crossing his arms tightly.
At this point he doesn’t even want to hear whatever Nagito is going to say. He just wants to shove the door open and give Teruteru a piece of his mind but he finds himself waiting in front of Nagito instead. Giving him the time of day. It’s not every day that Nagito is so insistent about something. Normally he would just go with whatever other people said, having no backbone of his own but apparently not this time.
“Lets just leave it for today and come up with a plan tomorrow with the others.”
It’s not exactly the worst idea. He isn’t going to change Teruteru’s mind by storming in. He would be surprised if he could change Teruteru’s mind at all at this point. But the thought alone leaves a sour taste in his mouth anyway.
Gritting his teeth he digs his nail in even further, “Fine. Whatever.”
Turning on his heel he doesn’t even wait for Nagito’s response. He just pushes past the other man and begins storming back to his own door. He doesn’t even look back as Nagito calls after him. He just needs to be alone.
“Good evening then.”
But he doesn’t reply. Instead he just slinks back into his own room and throws himself onto the bed. Not even bothering to change his clothes before he buries his face in his pillow.
Chapter 31: 25th of May
Summary:
Hajime comes up with a plan involving Nagito
Chapter Text
25/05 - 06:00
In the end he doesn’t sleep at all that night. Instead he spends the entire evening laying in his bed, staring up at the ceiling as if the answer is going to suddenly drop down on him. Of course no such a thing happens though. By the time morning arrives he doesn’t feel any better. His stomach is still churning and his brain is covered in a thick fog. It takes everything he has not to yawn every second.
But despite everything, he can’t help but feel bad for how he left Nagito yesterday. Regret overpowering almost everything else. He had just ditched him out in the corridor without a second thought. Probably not his best hour but he was somewhat justified. Maybe. Nevertheless he should probably apologise. Or at least check up on the other man if nothing else.
In the end that’s what gets him out of bed. He halfheartedly combs out his hair and changes his clothes. He can only imagine how bad he must smell right now after not brushing his teeth or changing his clothes all night. But honestly he’s past caring right now.
Shoving his hands into his new pockets he shuffles out of his room, creeping down the corridor to Nagito’s room. He has no idea where the other man might be but he crosses his fingers and prays he’s still in his room. It is late after all so it’s not like it’s out there to make that assumption. If he’s not there then he’ll just have to go around and check the building. It’s not like there are many places to go in this place. Where can you even hide?
As he reaches Nagito’s door he comes to a stop, simply standing motionless in front of it. Fist hanging in the air. Unmovable. He knows he needs to at least try and knock but he can’t bring his fist to move at all. It just hags there. Breathing in a rattling breath he shakes his head clear and screws his eyes closed.
And just like that he knocks.
And then silence.
More silence.
He knocks again.
Silence again.
Just when he’s about to turn around, readying himself for the search, the door swings open. Out of no where, Nagito’s head peeks around the door, almost flinching back at the sight of Hajime. But after a second he breaks into a smile, opening the door wider. Despite everything he can’t sense any deception lying behind his smile. Not at all.
“Izuru. I wasn’t expecting to see you.” For some reason he’s caught off guard by the name. His brain suddenly stuttering as if he hasn’t heard that name over and over. It’s nothing new and yet knowing that does very little to shake the unease settling over him. Smothering him at once.
“You can call me Hajime.” He clears his throat, hunching his shoulders ever so slightly despite his best attempts to play it off.
For a split second Nagito’s brow furrows but before he can even blink it’s gone and nothing but the sweet soft smile is left, “Okay then, Hajime. What did you come here for?" He tilts his head slightly, leaning forward to peer down the hallway as if expecting to see an entourage behind him.
Honestly, he doesn’t really have a plan from here. Maybe he should have taken some time to think about that before coming all the way over here. How hard can an apology be though…?
Clearing his throat again he shifts his weight from side to side, “I actually came to see you.”
“Me?” Nagito frowns as if it’s the strangest thing in the world. Why else would he be knocking on front of Nagito’s room?!
“Yeah. I just wanted to apologise.” He forces the words out as fast as he can before he backs out.
“Apologise?”
Is he just going to be a parrot now?
“Yeah. For yesterday. For leaving you like that.”
“Oh, that?” Nagito chuckles like it’s the funniest thing in the world, “You don’t need to apologise to trash like me. You were probably right.”
He sighs deeply. Okay, he should have seen this coming. Of course he couldn’t just apologise and have that be the end of things.
“Look, I’m trying to apologise. If I thought I didn’t need to then I wouldn’t. Unless you’re questioning my judgement.” It might not be the most conventional apology but at this point he’s pretty sure the only way Nagito will take it. That is if he even takes it this way.
“I see…” Nagito hums for a moment, thinking things through slowly before he finally settles on how to respond, “Okay, apology accepted then.” He gets the distinct feeling that he doesn’t really mean that but it’s not like Hajime can force him to accept it…right…? No. No, he can’t.
“I thought of something I can do to make it up to you.”
While he had been laying there all night the thought had come to him. There’s a small chance it could actually be a really terrible idea but it’s only a small chance. It’s worth the risk…he thinks. Either way, its probably too late to back out now he’s mentioned it. He can’t leave Nagito hanging like that.
“You don’t ne -”
Before Nagito can finish his thought, Hajime holds out a hand. Almost slapping it directly over Nagito’s mouth. That would certainly be one way to shut him up, “No. I’m doing it. I need to sort some stuff out first but straight after dinner I’ll show you.”
For a second Nagito just stands there, blinking wildly. But after a few seconds he seems to have settled on how to feel, smiling softly once again, “Okay. I’m looking forward to seeing what you have to show me.”
“Good.” He lets out a heavy breath, “See you after dinner then.”
With that settled now he needs to sort out everything else.
No backing out now.
~~~
25/05 - 19:13
“Can I ask what this plan is yet?” Nagito mumbles, following closely behind him. As close as possible without actually brushing up against him.
Basically everyone had disappeared by now, all drifting back off to their rooms after the meal. Thankfully this meal had been slightly less over the top compared to yesterday but he had barely been paying attention to anyone around the table. Him and Nekomaru had been solely focused on Teruteru - staring at him through the entire meal. Everyone must have noticed but no one said a thing.
Even after the meal he couldn’t suppress the desire to keep an eye on Teruteru. For now he’ll just have to put some faith in Nekomaru that he can handle the situation. Sorting out the surprise for Nagito has been the only thing distracting his mind at this point. He just hopes it will get easier to ignore as time passes.
“No, not yet.” He stays strong, refusing to say a word as the head down the corridor from Nagito’s room towards the common room, “It’s still a surprise.”
Thankfully Nagito doesn’t keep pushing though, happy to just chase after Hajime, “Okay, okay. I must say I’m excited to see what you have to show me.”
“It’s gonna be good. I promise.” He says it, more trying to convince himself than Nagito.
It’s going to be really awkward if he hates the whole thing. He just hopes he knows Nagito well enough at this point. He’s under no delusion that he fully understands everything about the other man but through the Neo World Program and the last few days he would like to think he knows a thing or two.
Biting down on his bottom lip, he leads Nagito out into the common room. His arm glinting in the light as Hajime has to tear his eyes away from the sight of it. However as soon as they step out they’re greeted by a face he hadn’t expected to see.
Mahiru is pottering about the kitchen. A tea cup clutched in her hand and the doors of the cupboards around her swung open. They had seen her less than an hour ago but somehow she already looks more tired. Dark bags underlining her eyes, making them look oddly brighter.
“Oh Mahiru. I didn’t expect to see you here.” Nagito gives her an innocent wave like they’re just old co-workers bumping into each other in the city.
Given the small quarters all fifteen of them are squeezed into it shouldn’t really be all that surprising to have bumped into her. There’s a greater chance of bumping into someone than not. Still given that it’s Mahiru and there is no sign of Hiyoko anywhere in sight it’s hard to not be at least a little taken aback.
“Are you okay?” He tilts his head slightly, peering about the room as if expecting Hiyoko or someone to pop up but the three of them are all alone in the room.
“Hmmm? Oh yeah. I just wanted a snack.” She nods towards the counters as if they hadn’t just finished eating all together. He supposes that doesn’t exactly stop someone wanting a snack though, “What are you two doing?”
“Hajime is showing me a surprise.”
“A surprise?” She turns towards Hajime, demanding answers but the best he can offer her is a shrug. He just hopes the warmth smothering his face is only in his head…
“Yep.”
“What is it?”
“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you.” He replies sternly.
At this point he’s not even sure why he’s keeping it a surprise, they’re barely more than seconds away from revealing it after all. But the thought of standing her and verbalising his plan makes him squirm where he stands, so he keeps his lips sealed. Besides, he gets the feeling Mahiru might not exactly approve of the idea.
“You really don’t need to go through all -” Nagito begins to speak, but by now Hajime can see it coming. Without a moments hesitation he just holds his hand up to silence Nagito instantaneously.
For a few seconds Mahiru narrows her eye as Hajime, trying to read his intentions from his face. But eventually she simply shrugs, turning back to her snack search, “I suppose. You’ll have to tell me about it later then.”
“Will do.”
Feeling her eyes still following them, they push out past the doorway and into the room across from them. Nagito follows hot on his heels, not saying a thing even as they step into the green lit room. He simply stands there, looking out at Hajime expectantly. He doesn’t even give the chambers around them a second look. There’s not so much as a single question.
Standing here now he starts to wish he’d taken some time to think about what he was going to say. The idea had seemed great when he first thought of it but he truly does feel a little insane standing here now.
Clearing his throat he decides to just dive right in, “So…can you get in one of the chambers?” He awkwardly nods towards the chamber that he remembers used to belong to Nagito.
“So your surprise is -”
“You’ll see when you get in there.” He does his best to give Nagito a reassuring smile as he speaks. Hoping that will be enough. It’ll all just be easier to explain from inside. At least he hopes it will be…
For a few moments they just stand there. Hajime watching Nagito, and Nagito eyeing up the chambers. But right when he starts thinking Nagito is simply going to turn around and refuse, he nods and offers up a bright smile, “Okay then.”
But before they can start heading over to the chambers, a different voice cuts through the room. None other than Mahiru is stood in the doorway - arms crossed disapprovingly, “You can't really be getting in there.”
He should have known she wouldn’t just leave them alone. Of course the prospect of following them would be impossible for her to ignore, her curiosity winning out. It’s so predictable he doesn’t even flinch at the sudden sound infiltrating the room.
The looks she’s giving is exactly the kind he would expect to see from a disappointed mother. It doesn’t help that she’s tapping her foot on the ground, only amplifying her anger.
Nagito on the other hand…
“Ah, hello again.” Yet again he just waves sweetly like this is all the most normal thing in the world. Sometimes he wonders if Nagito is even seeing the same thing as him.
Mahiru is glaring at him now though. Even though Nagito had spoken to her, she refuses to take her eyes off of Hajime. It’s like she’s peering directly into his soul. Cutting straight into him and digging into his core. He might be fully clothed but he’s never felt more naked.
“Don’t worry, it’s safe.” He holds up a hands in an attempt to settle her but she only glares harder.
“How can you be sure?”
He can’t blame her for feeling this way. If he hadn’t already been in and out this many times he would have a hard time trusting the program. It’s not like they have good memories with the place. Besides, this is all his fault, at least partially, so he’s probably earned this kind of response.
He still does his best to explain, hoping that something will get through to Mahiru, “I've been in it multiple times. Without the AI I installed it has been functioning fine.”
But even he explains, her gaze only gets harder. Her jaw tensed as the sound of her teeth grinding angrily echoes through the room. A million different expressions shift across her face in the blink of an eye.
“But -”
Before she can finish her sentence Nagito interrupts, catching both of them completely off guard, “Would you like to join us?”
If he didn’t know Nagito he would assume the he’d just not been paying attention to the conversation going on around him. However that’s not Nagito. There’s no way he wasn’t absorbing every word spoken. Yet he still made the offer.
Although Hajime was caught a little off guard, that’s nothing compared to Mahiru. Her mouth drops open as she stutters through her words. Thoughts crashing to a stop in her head. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen her caught this off guard.
“I-” She desperately turns to Hajime, eyes wide. She might as well be on the floor begging.
Unsure of what to say, he simply replies, “Only if you want to.”
It’s not like there’s anything wrong with bringing Mahiru. After the way she had started the conversation he can’t imagine her ever wanting to go back to that place. After everything that would make complete sense. Yet her stumbling now speaks to something else. He has no idea what she would want to see there but he’s not going to turn her away. It would make him more than a little bit of a hypocrite.
Neither him nor Nagito move an inch as they wait patiently for her response. But she simply looks between them at rapid speeds. Searching for something him and Nagito can’t offer her.
However, after a few minutes silence, her face suddenly hardens. No longer is she shakily scouring Hajime and Nagito’s faces. Instead she’s focused wholly on one of the chambers in front of her. Her entire body stiffening.
He can already tell what she’s going to say before she’s even spoken. Her choice might as well be flashing over her face in big glowing lights. Screamed out through the determined flame that dances in her eyes.
“I… Okay…” Her jaw tenses but that does nothing to disrupt the new ambition oozing off of her.
Without wasting another seconds he gives her an acknowledging nod and points at the two chambers they will be using, “Both of you find your chambers - they should still be functional.”
Thankfully all three of their chambers had been saved from Kazuichi. It’s not like there would be issues with using someone else’s - Alter Ego should be well equipped to adapt to whoever plugged themselves in - but it’s one less thing they need to think about.
Neither Mahiru nor Nagito say anything as they slowly make their ways over to their chambers. He does his best to pretend he doesn’t notice the way they both shake as they heave themselves in. Nagito doing his best to maneuver with his mechanical arm as delicately as he can. But in spite of that every movement still looks stilted. As soon as they’ve gotten in, they both allow themselves to sink down until they’re fully bathed in the green light.
Both of them hang off his every word as he briefly goes through the safety aspects in hopes of making it a little less daunting. Although judging by the way Nagito screws his eyes shut and Mahiru grits her teeth it wasn’t exactly helpful. Still, neither of them complain as he gives them both the final nod. Sealing their fates as he wanders over to make sure the upload goes properly before plugging himself in.
He can only imagine how they must both be feeling back in the things that had very nearly become their permanent tombs. Trapped once again. The sooner he can get this first bit over with the better.
But once it’s clear they program seem to be running smoothly, he races back to his own chamber. Throwing himself in without any fanfare. Alter Ego should be able to help them both adjust but the sooner he joins them the better. By now he’s had more than enough practice that muscle memory can take over. Within seconds everything is attached and he’s laying down, letting the program consume him once again.
~~~
When he finally loads into the program, he’s bathed in the usual warm sun rays. The familiar feeling of soft warm sand under him is soothing at this point. Like returning home. He knows how crazy it sounds but he feels it nonetheless.
Even though they joined a minute or so before him, Nagito and Mahiru are still sat on the beach either side of him. Although they had both sat upright, neither of them had made the slightest attempt to get up yet. Both just breathing in the salty breeze.
He doesn’t even bother hiding the grin the lights up his face.
“I almost forgot how pretty this place was…” Mahiru mumbles to no one in particular. He doesn’t need to see the way she’s gazing up at the sky above them to know exactly what she’s looking at. Her usually green eyes look almost teal in the soft warm light of the world around them. Almost a perfect match to the soft waves that still lap at the shore in front of them.
“A vast improvement from the red skies outside.” He mumbles, drinking in the sight in front of him.
Even just the single change of the soft blue sky makes everything feel entirely different. For a few moments they can pretend the world around them isn’t on fire. It all just looks…peaceful. Just what the Neo World Program was originally meant to be.
“Red…?” Mahiru frowns for a moment before everything suddenly floods back. “Oh, yes…” He had almost forgotten that she hadn’t gone out with them since waking up in this place. The memory of the real world waiting for them was getting fainter and fainter. If only they could go on believing that this was the world that would be waiting for them when they woke up again.
Leaning past him slightly, Mahiru peers over at Nagito who still hasn’t said a word, “Are you okay Nagito?”
He’s hunched over slightly, staring into his lap where his two hands are resting. Gingerly he stretched out his fingers, running the two flesh and blood hands across each other. Soaking in every feeling. Enjoying the way his arm lights up with feeling for the first time in weeks - maybe even months (if you exclude their time in here).
He is too lost to pay their words any mind. Falling away into his own crashing thoughts.
“Nagito?” He gently rocks to the side so his shoulder brushes against Nagito’s arm gently. Jolting him awake.
“Hmmm?” He blinks frantically before he starts to piece together what they must have been asking, bringing back his innocent little smile, “Yes, I’m okay.”
The smile isn’t even good enough to trick Mahiru but before either of them can question him any further they are interrupted by a new arrival. Their perfect sunlight is disrupted by a small shadow that hangs over them, drenching him and Nagito in darkness for a moment.
He doesn’t need to hear a word to know who’s arrive but he grins at the sound of the familiar voice anyway, “I see you all made it okay. That’s good. It’s so nice to see new faces.” Alter Ego claps enthusiastically, staring down at Nagito and Mahiru each in turn.
He hadn’t quite realised that technically the AI wouldn’t have met any of them. It’s not just Nagito and Mahiru either - he never even met Sonia, Kazuichi and the others that survived the game. The only one from their little group he ever got to interact with was Hajime. Even if he’s peered into their code, this is all still new territory for the AI.
Before Hajime can sort out introductions - or even explanations - Mahiru has scooted forwards. Sand kicking up around her as a result of the violent movement. Her eyes are wider than ever, the peaceful atmosphere of the beach immediately ruined.
“Who are you?!” She points an accusatory finger up at the AI, waving it about to try and hide the way it trembles.
Poor Alter Ego’s lip begins to wobble as he tries to avoid flinching back at the accusation. Probably not the best way the two could have met but all things considered he should have seen it coming from a mile away.
He doesn’t even need to think twice before he’s jumped up. Placing himself between Mahiru and Alter Ego to make a solid wall. Towering above both of them now, “Ah, this is Alter Ego. He’s the AI that the future foundation use to run this place. He’s one of the ones who made it possible to save all of you guys.” He does his best to paint the most positive picture possible, knowing exactly how an AI is going to sound after everything that happened last time.
Sure enough despite his best efforts Mahiru still narrows her eyes, half scowling at the small AI who is hidden behind Hajime. Tucked away behind him softly. Even now Mahiru tucks her legs up, putting as much space as she can between them without actually launching herself into the sea.
However, while Mahiru is launching herself away as fast as possible, Nagito takes quite a different approach. Instead of getting up like Hajime, he spins around on the sand, looking up at Alter Ego with a gentle expression, “I see…that’s wonderful. You were the AI created by the ultimate programmer, correct?”
Of course Nagito of all people would remember that.
That’s all Alter Ego needs to hear though. Without a seconds hesitation, he leans out past Hajime to address Nagito. His eyes positively sparkling with a newfound enthusiasm, “Yes! Do you know Chihiro?”
“Not really. We never met as people but he was an amazing person.”
“He was.” Alter Ego deflates a little, his head hanging down, but it seems more like he’s lost in thought than anything else.
It does make him wonder what he remembers about his creator. They must have been close, but years have passed now. Are his AI memories still as fresh as they day the were created or do AI memories fade over time just like peoples?
Cautiously, Mahiru shuffles slightly closer, one hand clinging desperately onto her other elbow, pulling her arm as close as possible. Almost as if trying to make a wall between herself and the AI.
But even in spite of that, she mumbles, “I suppose we can trust him then.”
“Thank you. I hope we can be good friends.”
Good friends, huh? The thought makes him chuckle dryly. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t consider Alter Ego a friend - after everything he did to help Hajime and everyone else it would be silly to think any differently - but that doesn’t make it any less funny as a concept. He wonders what the future foundation members would have to say if they could see this now. What would Fujisaki say if he knew who his AI was buddy buddy with?
“Come on.” Hajime reaches a hand out towards Nagito. As their fingers interlock he pulls Nagito upright until he’s stood at Hajime’s side. “Let’s go and see some stuff other than this one beach.”
He casually releases Nagito’s hand and moves towards Mahiru, holding a hand out to her as well. She doesn’t even need to think twice before she’s taken him up on his offer, using him to hoist herself up to her feet. For a few seconds she wobbles, trying to find her balance on the soft sand but eventually she settles, pulling her arms around her once again.
With them both on their feet, he starts walking up from the beach towards the rest of the island. He only gets a few steps though before he realises Mahiru and Alter Ego aren’t following behind?
“Are you coming Mahiru?” Nagito cocks his head to one side, narrowing his eyes.
But Mahiru only shakes her head, “Not right now. There was something I wanted to ask Alter Ego actually…”
What on earth could Mahiru want to ask Alter Ego of all people. Only minutes ago she didn’t know - or at least didn’t remember - the AI’s existence but now she suddenly has things to ask.
His curiosity runs rampant but he does his best to rein it in. If she has something to ask then he should probably give her the space she needs to ask it. After all, maybe it will help. If it’s something important then surely Alter Ego will tell him, right?
“Okay, well feel free to join us later.” He forces a smile, hoping it’s convincing enough for Mahiru.
“Will do.” She just waves to them both, not-so-subtly ushering them away and they oblige.
While part of his mind is still consumed with thoughts of Mahiru and Alter Ego, he works hard to squish those thoughts down. Stuffing them down deep to funnel all his attention to moving forwards. Listening out to the sound of Nagito traipsing along behind him.
There's no way Nagito isn’t thinking about them either but neither of them make any moves to go back. Not even once. They both try with all their might to focus solely on the path ahead until they have gotten far enough along the road that they can no longer catch the slightest glimpse of the two.
Only once they’re fully out of view does Nagito finally speak, “Where are we going?”
In spite of it just being the two of them, Nagito still lingers slightly further back instead of falling in step with Hajime. Even as Hajime slows down ever so slightly to close the distance between them, Nagito smoothly manages to maintain the distance. Hovering behind him no matter what Hajime tries.
But even with that strange behaviour, Nagito is practically skipping along. His hands reach out to brush across every branch the lines the side of the path. Making sure not to miss a single one as they pass by. His hair bounces energetically like he’s been shot full of sugar. It feels so different to how he’s used to seeing Nagito.
Honestly, he has no idea where they’re going. None of this was really thought out beyond simply bringing Nagito here. The one place where he can still have two hands. The last place where he can still experience feeling in that hand at least. None of it really mattes beyond that.
“Nowhere in particular. Its just nice to be outside - even if we aren’t really.” He shrugs and keeps walking, not slowing down in the slightest.
“We could go outside in the real world.” Nagito mutters.
Although his tone seems as harmless and innocent as ever, Hajime can feel the tendrils of curiosity which permeate the words. He’s fishing. Hajime keeps his expression straight though, not acknowledging the real question there.
“True,” He hums, coming to a stop so fast that Nagito almost smacks into his back, “…but outside we can’t do this.”
Not even thinking twice, he darts off the path, staring up above him. A decent sized cliff hangs above them, almost entirely covered in foliage. Not waiting for Nagito he reaches up towards the rocks and begins pulling himself upwards. Using the jagged rocks as perfect little hand holds.
However he only goes 3 or 4 foot before he leans back. Holding onto the rocks with one hand, he releases his other hand and flashes Nagito a grin below him.
Climbing hadn’t exactly been on the agenda today but they might as well make the most of Nagito having two hands while they can. Besides, it will probably be a good view from the top. For once they deserve a nice view.
But despite Hajime’s encouragement Nagito vehemently shakes his head, trying to back off, “I can’t climb.” But before he can get too far, Hajime jump back down. He grabs Nagito’s hand before the other man can disappear, and pulls him over to the rocks.
“That’s nonsense. Come on, I’ll show you.”
How hard can it be anyway?
It turns out, much harder than he had expected. Working together they start making good progress, clearing the first few feet. However, somehow Nagito manages to find every loose or weak hand hold. Each and every one instantly crumbling under his hand. You would think that given it’s a computer program they would be able to make a halfway decent cliff but apparently not.
Somehow, despite the fact that the very cliff crumble under his hand, he manages to just about avoid slipping down every single time. Regardless of the failure of the rock, they still manage to just about clamber onto the top of the cliff. Surmounting the challenge as both of them throw themselves onto the grass above. Laying down and embracing the solid ground.
“See! I told you you could do it.” He laughs, turning his head so he can address Nagito from where they’re laying.
“I got lucky.”
He wants to disagree but they both know that would be a lie. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing though. Regardless of how they did it, they both made it up here in one piece. Nagito might have used his luck but it’s not like Hajime wasn’t using one of his talents.
Nevertheless, they both lay there for a while, staring up at the sky above. They’ve still had no sign of Mahiru but he can’t bring himself to go and look for her. Not when it’s so warm here laying under the sun. She’ll go wherever she needs to go. He just needs to have faith in her.
Slowly, bit by bit, the pale below is replaced by a pastel pink that fills the sky. Oranges, reds and pinks all interweave as the sky fades into darkness. And then all the colours disappear, leaving only sparkling specks of white glittering across the navy sky. Stars lighting up the world around him.
“Why did you bring me here?” Nagito mumbles into the darkness, breaking the silence they had built up.
He forces himself to turn his head towards Nagito once more, trying to read his face. He’s still staring up at the sky, not allowing his eyes to drift towards Hajime for even a second. There’s no smile ghosting his lips this time though. Instead his lips are pursed together as if trying to hold something back.
“I told you, to go outside. You could do with some sun.” He mumbles, hoping that will be enough of an answer but it’s nothing but wishful thinking.
As soon as the words leave his mouth, Nagito rips his eyes away from the sky. His entire body twists to one side until he’s laying on his side and staring across as Hajime. It’s like he think’s he’ll be able to coax the answer out with nothing but his puppy dog eyes.
“Is that it?”
He’s not sure if he’s a fan of this kind of questioning. But either way there’s no point in keeping it a secret anymore.
“I asked Alter Ego to make sure your avatar came in with two arms instead of one.” He sighs deeply, rubbing his forehead with one hand.
“I -”
He immediately cuts Nagito off, squeezing in his explanation before Nagito can get a word in edge ways, “Look, I’ve seen how you are with the thing. Despite how good Kazuichi is, there’s a limit to what’s possible. I know this isn’t real or anything but at least for a little while you can pretend it is.”
Silence.
Nagito turns his head away, shifting so he’s looking up at the sky once again. Star gazing.
So much times passes that he starts to assume he’s never going to get a response but just when he’s given up Nagito whispers into the darkness, “Thank you, Hajime.”
“You’re welcome.”
Chapter 32: 26th of May
Summary:
Hajime and the others are surprised once more and Hajime and Peko try to keep themselves distracted
Chapter Text
26/05 - 11:56
Hajime's leg bounces up and down against the hard floor. In the back of his mind he’s aware of how loud he must be being but right now he can’t be bothered to care. If they truly cared they would say something but there’s nothing but silence hanging around them. Everyones heads lowered to stare into their laps.
They’re all sat around the dining room table - at least the ones of them that are left. Only him, Nekomaru, Peko, Mahiru and Gundham are still lingering around. All of them waiting patiently for their turn being seen by the doctors. Unlike last time they’d been given no forewarning, just doctors knocking on their doors and announcing the plan for the day. At least this time they had five doctors on hand, using their bedrooms instead of the medical room. It turns out that was very needed given how long they’ve been taking.
The longer he waits, the faster his foot bounces against the ground. Energy swirling around inside him. He had allowed everyone else to go on ahead of him but he’s regretting that decision more and more with every passing second. No one has left their room since finishing the check up but at least it would already be over. Sitting here and waiting is the worst part.
He’s so caught up in his own thoughts that he doesn’t notice as the chair next to him is pulled out - scraping against the ground. It’s only when a hand reaches out to rest on his shoulder that he finally notices.
“I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Nekomaru is smiling soothingly, his hand warm and heavy on Hajime’s shoulder.
Of course he knows that. It’s not like he’s in bad health. In fact, he’s probably in the best health of his life - well the life he remembers at least. Sure, he might not be getting the best sleep every night but there’s more than enough food and he’s resting in a warm and clean environment. That might as well be unheard of in this day and age.
No, even if he knows nothing bad will happen that doesn’t change the writhing feeling in his chest. If Nekomaru could find a way to let his brain understand that fact then he would be grateful…
“Yeah, I know.” He sighs, pushing the thought out of his head, “How was it yesterday?”
It had been late when him, Mahiru and Nagito left the Neo World Program so he’d had no time to check in with Nekomaru about the Teruteru situation. Now they’re here this is as good time as any to catch up. He looks around the room at the people that surround him - it’s not like any of them will care.
However, Nekomaru just shakes his head, sighing deeply and hunching over his shoulders.
“Same as before…”
Of course it was. It’s not like he had expected anything different. You’re allowed to hope though. Just another thing on their list of stuff to deal with. Exactly what he needed.
But for now there’s nothing else for him to say. No plans. No ideas. He just folds his arms on the table and lays down - resting his head on his arms. Maybe this is a conversation for another time.
Thankfully he’s saved from having to think of something by the clicking of a door and the appearance of a silhouette in the doorway. Just like the last few times it’s one of the doctors, stood with a clipboard in hand looking over the last few documents.
“Who’s next?” The doctor looks around the room, examining the almost empty table. Scanning each of their faces.
She doesn’t need to look for long though. After a few seconds of silence, Nekomaru stands up, rolling his shoulders and standing up high.
“I’ll go next.” He clears his throat and claps Hajime’s back, “We’ll catch up after this.”
His smile is as warm as ever as he’s lead away down the darkened corridor. Disappearing into the darkness. He can’t see Nekomaru once he enters the corridor but they can hear the door click open and shut as he’s sealed away in his room. Another person down.
Despite his regrets, he allows Mahiru and Gundham to go off with the doctors next. Both of them disappearing just like everyone else. Eventually it’s just him and Peko left alone in the room.
She’s sat as straight as ever. There’s no way it can be comfy to sit that perfectly but she hasn’t moved an inch since she first sat down. For once she really does look like a puppet. Pulled up perfectly straight as if being kept upright by strings.
It’s not just the way she’s sat though. As usual, her hair is perfectly styled. Neatly pulled into two braids. Not a single strand of hair out of place. Even her clothes are perfectly neat - not a single crease breaking the surface of the fabric. The only thing breaking her perfect doll-like appearance, is the dark bags that underline her eyes. It seems to foreign to see her face marred in such a way.
When everyone else had been here it hadn’t been strange but now, with everyone gone, sitting here silently feels…wrong. All he can focus on is the sound of her steadily increasing breaths. The frantic way her chest is rising and falling.
“Ughhh, they’re really taking their sweet time aren’t they.” He whistles, casually leaning back in his chair.
“Huh?” Peko frowns, blinking frantically as she looks around the room. Searching for whoever Hajime was talking to. It takes longer than he would have thought for it to finally click in her head, “Oh, yes.”
“I wonder what they’re doing in there.”
“I assume it will be similar to the last time.” Peko mumbles, her shoulders drooping slightly, “Hopefully this will be the last time.”
“Hopefully.”
He knows he shouldn’t get his hopes up though. Every time he thinks it will be the last time and every time they come back. You would think by now they wouldn’t need to examine everyone at least. It makes sense to examine Fuyuhiko, Mikan, and Nagito. Maybe even Teruteru and Akane. But everyone else?
Leaning forwards, he rests his arms on the table. Cradling his head in his hands. From here he can see Peko’s every movement even closer. He can see the way her hands shake ever so slightly. The way her breath catches in her throat. The uncomfortable way she clenches both fists.
As bad as it sounds, he can’t help but feel relief. Sometimes just knowing he isn’t on his own makes things a little more bearable.
“You know we were talking the other day about where we would want to go if we did leave this place.” The words come out as casually as they can. Peko must sense the strangeness but he simply hopes she plays along.
“What is the point of talking about that? It’s not like we will ever be able to leave this place in peace.” She mumbles, crossing her arms.
“You’re probably right. But sometimes it’s good to remember that the world really is still out there. It’s easy to forget in this place.”
“Hmmm…” She hums to herself, rubbing her chin with one hand.
While some peoples choices were obvious, he can’t tell what Peko would say. He would be the first person to point out how pointless the question is but at the same time he does kind of want to know. If for no other reason than to distract them both from what’s ahead, “Where would you want to go if there was nothing stopping us?”
He fully expects her to brush him off. It’s not like she has any reason to answer him. But after a few seconds of silence, she shifts in her chair to mumble, “I don’t know. I would simply go wherever Fuyuhiko desired.”
Wherever Fuyuhiko desires.
Of course she would say that. But even though it’s not surprising, he refuses to accept the answer. It’s not like she can still pretend that she has no desires beyond what Fuyuhiko tells her. More than once she has admitted to her true feelings beneath the surface. This is no different.
“Come on, I know you better that that.” He grumbles, leaning even further forwards, “Lets say you left right now with Fuyuhiko, where would you go?”
This time she pauses for even longer. Fingers brushing against her chin. She doesn’t quite look at Hajime, instead she stares over his shoulder at something in the distance. But at least her hands are no longer shaking.
“I don’t know a specific place…I’ve never left Japan before this trip.” She mutters, the slightest pink tinge touching her cheeks, “However I believe I would like to go to the countryside. Living somewhere far away from the cities, surrounded by nature would be…nice.”
He finds it hard to believe that she’s never left Japan. In a way it makes sense, her and Fuyuhiko had so much to manage in Japan, why would they ever need to leave? But at the same time, she seems like the sort of person who would enjoy seeing the world. A bird that should be flying free.
The countryside…huh?
When he was travelling he never really got to spend much time outside of cities. Of course he passed through plenty when he was travelling - it’s impossible not to - but it was never more than that. Passing glances while he’s moving. Barely enough to even get a feeling for the environment. It always seemed so quiet. So boring. Nothing worth his time.
But now… “That sounds nice.”
This time he’s not even lying. Before when the others had asked where he wanted to go he could honestly answer that he wasn’t sure. After all, most places he visited felt the same. However it’s easy to see the appeal in what Peko has said. The island wasn’t exactly countryside - at least not most of it - but it offered the same kind of peace. At least before Monokuma had arrived. It doesn’t seem like such a bad thing now, a little boredom might be just what they need.
“Hmmm…You wouldn’t want to live in the city?” She cocks her head to one side, as if trying to see him in a different light. Taking a look at him from a different angle.
“No…I think I’ve spent too long there. Too many memories…”
Those tall building standing over you. The way their shadows drifted over the broken streets. People packed in, living on top of one another. The dark grey of a boring metropolis. It all is too oppressive. Too crushing. Seeing cities now only reminds him of everything he’s already seen. All the things he did. No, he doesn’t think he could go back to that. He would rather stay here than go back to that.
“I understand. I feel the same way. Most of my good memories came from before Hopes Peak, when we were still living in the Kuzuryu family home in the countryside.”
“I can’t imagine Fuyuhiko living in the countryside.”
The thought almost makes him want to laugh. Imagine Fuyuhiko running through a field, his perfectly tailored suit marred by dirt and grass stains. He seemed strange enough in an island environment. His entire demeanour feels far more suited to the sprawling cityscape than whatever the fields and rural villages provide.
“He was not a fan of all the fields and emptiness. But he seemed happier than he does now.”
He supposes sometimes you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. He can only imagine what Fuyuhiko would give to go back to that time, “Well that’s not unique to him.”
“That may be true…”
“Why don’t you tell me about your favourite thing about the countryside? I barely got to spend any time outside of cities so it would be nice to hear about what I missed out on.” He does his best to smile sweetly, trying to bring the discussion back to something happier.
Besides, he would be lying if he said he didn’t want some stories he could use against Fuyuhiko. Imagine all the juicy embarrassing stories he could squeeze out of Peko. He missed out on getting those stories from her while they were at Hopes Peak so he needs to start gathering some now.
“Very well.” The ghost of a smile creeps onto her face, “I used to love walking in the fields - especially in the evening. We would run away at times and go to look at the sunset. Back before Kotaro died we would take him for walks through the forest whenever we could escape from our lessons.”
“Was Kotaro the dog you mentioned before?” He remembers her mentioning Fuyuhiko’s dog while they were in the program. The same dog that had been scared of her. Despite the impression Fuyuhiko likes to put out to the world, it makes sense he of all people would have a pet dog he doted on. He can only hope it died in a peaceful way….
“Yes. You would have liked him. He was…very sweet.” The smile that had been ghosting her lips has solidified. Her gaze drifting back from over his shoulder and onto him.
Personally, he’d never been a dog person. At least not that he remembers. They always seemed too clingy, always right at your heels. He’d seen more than his fair share wandering about the streets. Abandoned or lost. As soon as the world fell to pieces they were left alone. Unable to properly fend for themselves and searching out love and attention from everyone passing by. Even him. If the dogs weren’t even scared of him then he finds it hard to imagine them being scared of her.
He doesn’t say any of that though. While he might have felt that way once, it doesn’t sound quite so bad now. Undying devoted love. There are some perks to that.
Instead he simply asks, “What kind of dog was he?” Trying to build up an image of Peko and Fuyuhiko’s lives before all of this.
“He was a shiba inu. He was very fluffy but he was scared of me more than anything.” Peko chuckles awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck.
He tries to imagine little Peko and Fuyuhiko running about a field, a small shiba inu chasing after them. Or maybe they would be chasing after the dog - their high quality clothing covered in stains and flecks of mud. That kind of life seems to foreign to the harsh, blood thirsty Yakuza life he knew them to have. He wonders what people would say if they could see the cut throat Yakuza leader and his right hand woman playing around like that as kids. Even people like that had to be innocent children at some point.
However their warm session of reminiscing is rudely interrupted before he can get any more stories. Neither of them even hear the door opening, the first sign the have is the tired sigh of the doctor as she leans against the door frame.
“We are ready for the next person. Which one of you would like to come first?”
Just when they were starting to forget and get to the good stories…this was bound to happen.
“Pe -” He begins to nod towards Peko but she beats him to it, speaking over him.
“Don’t worry. You should go first. I’m happy to be last.”
His gut reaction is to turn her down, to insist she’s the one to go; after all, he can wait. But looking at her now he catches himself. The fierce determination that burns hot inside her eyes.
“Okay then.” If she wants to go last, who is he to stand in her way? He did say he wanted this over and done with as soon as possible.
Shaking himself down he gets up from the chair and follows after the doctor. Preparing himself for what is to come.
~~~
26/05 - 23:09
Everything had been quiet and still since the doctors left. Not a single person daring to venture out of their rooms. All the halls silent as everyone hides away. Not that he can blame them. It’s not like he went wandering about after his check up. Despite everything they’re all still the same.
After the doctors had left he’d simply laid down in his bed; the exhaustion from the day pounding down on him. Yet no matter how long he laid there he couldn’t find sleep. Even when he can already feel his eye lids aching to close and a yawn building in his chest, sleep still evades him.
It's been hours and hours since they left but his heart still seems to stutter in his chest. A cold sweat consuming him and his throat aching as he tries to swallow to no avail. No matter how much it feels like he's about to pass out, his limbs just keep tingling. Numbness fully taking a hold. Overwhelming him entirely.
Was he dumb for thinking he’d actually fall asleep in this place? Hours had passed and nothing had changed. Nothing. No matter how much his eye lids begin to droop.
Eventually he gives up completely. If he’s not going to fall asleep then he’s certainly not just going to keep laying there. He one small rebellion against his traitorous body.
Subconsciously he finds himself creeping out of his room to stand in the darkened hallway alone. Maybe a little walk will show his body just how tired he really is. In the darkness of the night he tries to walk down the hallway but it quickly turns into more of a stumble than anything else. Bashing into the wall he clumsily puts one foot in front of the other, unsure of where he’s even going. With every step his eyes close further and further, unable to keep them up anymore.
When he finally opens his eyes, he’s facing a familiar wooden door. It’s not like any of the doors are particularly different in this place. All the same cheap light brown wood made in the same style. But even so he recognises this door instantly. In his tired state he’d wandered himself right up to Nagito’s room.
Ah yes, he’s sure Nagito will love a little midnight visit to interrupt his sleep. Then again, this is Nagito, so maybe that wouldn’t be so far off.
In his addled state he finds his body moving on it’s own once again. His hand rapping on the wood of the door as gently as he can.
Yeah, that’s right. It’s the lack of sleeps fault. He’s not to blame for his actions, he wasn’t in his right mind.
“Nagito?” He whispers as softly as he can into the door.
The sane part of his mind prays that it was quiet enough to not disrupt the man if he really is sleeping, but the other part of his mind urges him to knock again. Just once more. He should really check in with Nagito after all. Just to see how he’s doing. After all it would be bad if the doctors had told him bad news in the check up and Hajime didn’t know. A quick check in wouldn’t hurt. Right?
No, this is stupid. He finally comes to his senses as he shakes his head firmly.
Given the time of day (or more like night) he should probably just save this for tomorrow. What are the chances of Nagito actually being awake? But his body still refuses to leave. Determined to stay right there despite the logic clawing at his brain.
Pressing an ear to the door he focuses, straining his ears as much as possible. Almost immediately he hears the subtle sound of shuffling from the other side. The creaking of a bed and the soft padding of feet moving across the room. Standing up as quick as he can, he composes himself so he doesn’t look completely creepy when Nagito opens the door.
“Hajime?” Nagito blearily rubs his eyes with one arm, barely holding back a yawn, “What are you doing here?”
“Were you sleeping?” He frowns, wincing uncomfortably.
“Not really. I was trying to but it wasn’t very successful.”
He awkwardly scratches the back of his neck, waves of guilt crashing into him, “Sorry, I can come back later.”
What was he even thinking coming here? Of course he would be disrupting Nagito’s sleep. He was just being delusional to even consider otherwise.
Not even wanting to hear Nagito’s response, he already turns to leave. He was out of his mind coming here at all. But he doesn’t get to take a step before a gentle tap lands on his shoulder. It’s accompanied by the loud creaking of the door as it opens up further.
“No, it's okay. Come in.” Nagito beckons him forwards, stepping aside slightly in as welcoming a way as he can manage given how tired they both are.
He considers still walking away for a moment - it’s not like Nagito is holding him back or anything. He didn’t even grab Hajime’s arm. But before he can dwell on the thought for too long his body takes over once again. Taking charge of the memoment before him.
All things considered his brain might as well just retire for all the good it’s doing. It’s not like there’s much point in leaving now though. The damage has already been done so he might as well make it worth it. Besides, Nagito has invited him in. It would be rude to turn him down.
Trying not to overthink things he turns back to Nagito and forces himself onward. Squeezing past Nagito, he stumbles into the dark room still yawning. It’s as neat as ever, the only thing out of place is the slight rumples on the material of the bed but even that is negligible considering he was meant to have been sleeping on it.
Unsure of where to go, he simply stands awkwardly in the middle of the room. In this state he doesn’t think he trusts himself to choose the appropriate place to sit. Only when Nagito shuffles back over to his bed - sitting on top of it cross legged - does he dare to take a seat on the bed. And even he only perches on the edge, staying as far as he can while still staying on the bed.
In spite of the fact that he’s the one who basically barged in here in the dead of night, Nagito is the one who needs to break the silence.
“What are you here for?” He asks softly. Even now he’s rubbing his eyes lazily.
Honestly, that’s the million dollar question. If only he knew. But he’s not far gone enough to be unaware of how weird it would sound to say he just subconsciously wandered over here. Surely even Nagito would think that was weird.
So instead he gives the second best answer, “I just wanted to see how it went with the doctor today.” But it’s not liken that’s much better. He could have come hours ago or in the morning. It’s the best he can come up with in this state though. He can only hope Nagito is as out of it as he looks right now to not question it twice.
However, much to Hajime’s surprise, instead of answering he simply holds out his arm towards Hajime. Showing it off proudly. Like a badge of honour rather than a war scar. As if putting on a show, he rotates his arm slightly, giving Hajime a better look although he has no idea what he’s meant to be seeing.
“They said it has healed very well. Much better than they had expected. Luck must be on my side.” He smiles warmly, leaning slightly closer to Hajime.
“How has the arm been?” He blinks ferociously as he speaks. Doing his best to focus on the arm in front of him.
“It’s been great. Kazuichi really did a wonderful job as always.” But Nagito’s eyes don’t smile with his lips.
Is he…lying? With his mind like this it’s hard to make heads or tails of what is happening but he’s almost certain Nagito is lying to him. It doesn’t make sense though. Why on earth would he be lying. It’s not like he’s the most honest person in the world but lying like this isn’t something he associates with the boy. Not for no reason at least.
Narrowing his eyes, he looks back at the arm once again. Studying it. Drinking in the details. Focusing as hard as he can in the low light of the barely lit room. It’s hard to be sure but it almost looks like the skin around his prosthetic arm is slightly puffy and swollen. He doubts it would be clearly visible even in good lighting. But now that he’s seen it, he can’t unsee it. Maybe he’s just seeing what he want to see, supporting his own bias. But what if he isn’t.
Before his brain has caught up with his body, he’s reaching forward and grabbing Nagito’s arm. He doesn’t think twice before he’s pulled it close, examining every inch of skin.
“Wh -?”
Nagito never gets to finish his thought though. Hajime looks up suddenly, cold eyes staring through the other man, “Why didn’t you tell us?” He scowls involuntarily. His grip tightening ever so slightly around Nagito’s fleshy upper arm.
“What do you mean?” Still lying - even now?
“Your arm. It’s not fitted correctly. You should have told us.”
“It’s no problem, really. If it was troublesome I would have said something. It’s already better than anything I deserve.” He waves everything off with an innocent smile but he’s stupid if he thinks Hajime is going to fall for that. The way he tries to pull his arm free certainly doesn’t help at selling what he’s saying.
“Give it here.” He growls softly.
He doesn’t have the energy to hold back his eye roll as he swiftly and methodically detaches the arm. He always assumed he could do basic procedures like this in his sleep so he supposes now is the time to put that to the test. All the while he does his best not to think about what he’s doing, letting his body move on its own. If it’s going to take control like that then he might as well put it to good use for once.
Nagito watches him quietly the entire time. Although he never says a word, it would be impossible not to feel his curious gaze - regardless of how enveloped he is in his work. It doesn’t bother him as much as he thought it would though. The curiosity is to be expected after all. The feeling of his sharp eyes on Hajime only spurs him on.
By the time he actually finishes tinkering he’s almost…disappointed. Not that he lets it show on his face.
“There you go.” He hums, weighing up the arm slightly. “Try that out.” He carefully hands back the arm. Doing his best to make sure it gets into his hands safely. Only when Nagito is firmly holding onto it does he release the tension clinging to his body.
“I -” Nagito stutters for a moment, struggling with the words in his mind. But eventually his shoulder relax and he simply smiles, “Thank you.”
Hajime leans back against the wall, his head pressed up against the cool surface. From here he can happily watch as Nagito tests out the new adjustments while still giving him space. Besides, he would be lying if he said it wasn’t comfortable.
Maybe even a little too comfy…
Bit by bit his eyes begin fluttering closed again. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knows he should probably be paying more attention. What if Nagito still needs some help? If nothing else he should be paying attention to make sure the adjustments have done what they’re meant to. But the longer he leans there, surrounded by the somehow familar sounds of Nagito working, the heavier and heavier his bodies feels.
And then before he can stop himself, he drifts away. Finally succumbing to the call of sleep.
Chapter 33: 27th of May
Summary:
Hajime has an idea which might help people's recovery
Chapter Text
27/05 - 09:30
When he first wakes up it takes him embarrassingly long to notice anything is amiss. Curled up with the covers smothering him he only wants to burrow further in. To nestle deep in the fabric and never come out. No bed should be allowed to be this soft.
But even now as he blearily breaks away from the clutches of sleep he knows this would never be possible. Soon enough something would come and they would all be looking for him again. It’s only a matter of time. Cooking, and Teruteru, and Makoto, and everything else. It all builds up. Days off aren’t exactly in the cards. No, it’s better to get up now before he well and truly loses all his self restraint.
Groaning softly he begins to break free from his cocoon. Letting the layers peel away until he’s exposed to the world around him once again. He sighs with every movement but he knows there’s no other choice. Like ripping off a band aid he pulls down the cover and sits up in the bed.
He’s still in his clothes from last night. They’re slightly crumpled now but other than that he looks like he didn’t sleep at all. He should probably stop sleeping in his clothes like this… Then again, it not like they’re going to see anyone that would care.
It’s only as he fully sits up that he realises he’s not in his room.
Not in his bed.
Oh god. He’s in Nagito’s room, isn’t he?
How could he forget coming into Nagito’s room last night? Even more important than that: how could he let himself fall asleep in the other mans room? In his bed even?!
Looking around frantically it doesn’t take long to locate the owner of the room. Hajime must have muscled him out of his own bed as he’s now curled up in the fetal position on the floor. Thankfully he at least took a pillow and thin blanket for himself. It’s something…even if there isn’t anything between him and the floor.
He must have taken his arm off before sleeping as it’s now laid neatly on top of the dresser. In the dim light of the room it’s impossible to see the details and carvings but there’s no mistaking that silhouette. Besides, it’s basically the only thing Nagito has in his room. Then again they didn’t exactly come here with a bag packed full of possessions.
Rubbing a hand down his face, he jumps out of the bed. Feet quietly padding on the soft plush carpet. As soon as he’s upright his eyes instinctively seek out the clock that must be tucked away somewhere in here.
09:34
And they we’re still asleep?! He knows they didn’t exactly get to sleep until late but to sleep in this long. And to take Nagito’s bed all that time. His cheeks warm instantly.
Despite everything, part of him wants to go right back in that bed and drift back to sleep but he can’t even entertain the thought. No, instead he kneels over Nagito’s still sleeping form. Being as careful as he can, he hooks an arm under Nagito’s legs. Pulling him close Hajime’s chest as tenderly as he can given the circumstances.
His amputated arm hangs freely at his side, drooping down as Hajime carefully lifts Nagito up from the ground. It feels strange to see the stump like this now. He’s so used to seeing it covered up in a sling or attached to the prosthetic that it almost looks naked now.
Thankfully he hadn’t bothered to pull the covered back across the bed after he got up. As a result he can easily slide Nagito under the cover. Settling his head on the soft pillows. Draping the cover over his sleeping form, he covered up everything below his neck.
There, that should be more comfy now. Hajime might not be able to get more sleep but hopefully at least Nagito will be able to get some rest. After all, he did give up his comfort all night to an intruder who might as well have barged into his room.
Giving Nagito one last once over, he nods at his own handiwork. Smirking the entire time. He did a good job if he does say so himself.
He probably shouldn’t just be standing over Nagito like this though. The last thing he needs is anyone to catch him like this. There’s no good explanation you can give for this…
Stretching out one last time and letting out a harsh yawn, he finally turns away from Nagito. He does the best he can to flatten out his creased clothes. There’s no real way to save it without an iron though. This will have to do…
Bracing himself he steps out into the corridor - praying everyone had decided to sleep in today. But as it turns out, the gods weren’t on his side today.
“What are you doing…?” Hiyoko frowns. Her sharp and cold eyes narrow at him. Cutting straight through him.
She’s stood right in the middle of the hallway, eyeing up his rumpled clothes as he comes out of Nagito’s room. He doesn’t need to be able to read her mind to know exactly what she’s imagining right now. Bit by bit her frown morphs into a full on smirk. Beaming from ear to ear. Of all the people in this building it had to be Hiyoko…it couldn’t be someone who would keep their thoughts to themselves.
“I was just doing a check up on Nagito’s arm. Making sure it all still fits properly.”
It’s not exactly a lie. He actually did check on the arm - even if it wasn’t his intention. But even if it was the complete full truth he doesn’t think he could convince Hiyoko now. Not when fantasies are roaming around inside her head.
“Oh yeah. Dressed like that.” She arches one eyebrow.
Okay, he’s willing to admit they might be a little crumpled but it’s not that bad. In a place like this shouldn’t they get the benefit of not needing to worry about their clothes - not that he did care all that much before this place…
“It’s the truth but believe whatever you want.” He bristles slightly, holding his head up high. There’s nothing to be ashamed of - except maybe that he made an amputee sleep on the floor of his own room all night. But Hiyoko doesn’t need to know that part.
“Okayyyyy.” She grins wickedly. Already plotting something dastardly no doubt.
Thankfully when it’s just there little group here there’s not much she can really do. Sure, gossip spreads like wildfire in a group like this, but its far from the most conspicuous thing to have happened so far. Hopefully by now they have more pressing things to be thinking about, but maybe that’s just him being optimistic.
“What are you doing out here anyway?” He changes topics deftly, looking around the hallway as he wrings his hands.
It’s not like it’s early in the morning - at least not compared to what he’s used to - but Hiyoko isn’t the sort of person he would picture being up at this kind of time. Much less to be up and about. She definitely seems to be the type to lay in as long as she’s allowed to, even more so in a place like this when there’s nothing for them to do all day but hang around people she despises.
Looking at her now, that’s not the only strange thing. Her pristine kimono is no where to be seen. At a glance it’s easy to assume she’s just in her pajama’s still, after all her long blonde hair isn’t in it’s usual pony tail (or even pigtails). Instead she has it loose so it drapes down almost completely concealing the sides of her neck. However, if he looks for more than a second it’s clear these aren’t her pajama’s. The long jogging bottoms bunch slightly at her ankles but there’s no mistaking the plain t-shirt and joggers that make up their assigned clothing.
He supposes he shouldn’t be too surprised - it’s not like they have many copies of their old clothes. Quite the opposite in fact. With the single set they have it makes sense she would have to go back to the assigned clothing sometimes. At least if she wants to avoid the ‘washing’ allegations from inside the program.
But he can’t ignore the nagging feeling inside him. It refuses to budge an inch.
“Hmmm? I was just getting breakfast.” She huffs, puffing up her cheeks slightly.
“Where’s your kimono?” He asks frowning. Poking at the bear cautiously. Testing the waters.
Hiyoko instantly tenses. Her jaw visibly clenching until her teeth grind together painfully. Someone needs to teach Hiyoko the concept of a poker face at some point… You would think after the lives they’d led she would be a little better at it.
“I just didn’t want to wear it. It’s a hassle.” Her pout looks far more suited to the Hiyoko he had met in the program. As if it’s a habit she had never quite shaken despite everything.
“Did you forget how to tie it again?” He cocks his head to one side, poking a little more. Seeing where she feels most tender.
“What the fuck are you talking about?! I’m not stupid. I remember now you’ve taught me again. I told you, it’s just stupid. I didn’t want to have to deal with it.” Apparently he’s already hit an exposed nerve though. That really didn’t take much.
But despite her reaction, he doesn’t get the feeling she’s lying. Yet her eyes are still welling up with tears. There’s something there…but….unless…?
“Sorry,” He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, “You know you can come to me if you need help with anything though.”
“Pfffft! Whatever.” She scowls and instinctively flips her hair over her shoulder dismissively.
And it’s the biggest mistake she’s made. Her carefully positioned hair is knocked out of place, exposing the sides of her neck for all to see. Dark red marks line the planes of her skin. Hot and raw against her normally perfectly clean cut appearance. Too shallow to be made by a blade but still unmistakable. Finger nails though… It wouldn’t be too shallow to have been made by nails.
His breath catches in his throat for the shortest moment. His brain scrambling to catch up with the rest of him.
She’s not going to wait for him though. Sensing his digging she crosses her arms grouchily and begins storm off. At least she’s seemingly forgotten about him leaving from Nagito’s room… You win some and you lose some.
“Hiyoko…?” He tries to call after her but it’s too late. She simply yanks open her door and slams it behind her. Followed by the tell tale click of the lock slipping into place.
Well, that went well.
But even as he slips off into the kitchen to grab some breakfast the thoughts of Hiyoko and her injuries don’t leave him. The cling onto. Claws well and truly dug in.
~~~
27/05 - 19:38
“I have an idea.”
They’re all sat around the dining room table chatting as they finish off their meals. But as soon as he speaks, they all fall silent. Even Akane and Teruteru, who have once again sat themselves all the way at the opposite side of the table from him. Given how loudly he’d announced it he probably shouldn’t be surprised, but knowing this group it’s still impressive.
He’s been mulling over the plan for hours and hours now. Thinking about the best way to broach the topic. By now he’s just determined that he needs to get it over with. The longer her lets himself mull over the thoughts, the worse it’s going to get. If they don’t like the idea then the worst they’ll do is refuse. It’s not like it can go too badly.
“What’s your idea?” Nekomaru’s loud voice booms across the room. Somehow, despite the cheery tone, it still manages to come across as vaguely threatening.
All eyes on him. Their sharp gazes harshly trained. Never dropping from him.
“Well,” Before he can ever think of backing out, he catches sight of Hiyoko - no longer in the seat next to him but at Akane’s side (still staying as far away from Fuyuhiko and Peko as possible). At once his resolve solidifies, “I was thinking we should have a burning session.”
“A burning session?” Sonia hums, tilting her head to one side, “What’s that?”
“It’s when you set fire to all your old stuff. It’s meant to help you move on and let go of the past. Or at least get out some of your anger.” Before he can even think about explaining, Kazuichi has dived straight in. Leaning in slightly towards Sonia as he explains. A fork still stuck in his mouth even as he mumbles.
“What would we even burn?” Judging solely by the puzzled look on Ibuki’s face you would think he had told them all to fly to the moon. Is it really not obvious?
“Everything. Anything.” He sighs, “Our old clothes for a start.”
“O-Our c-clothes?!” Mikan blushes furiously, her head shrinking back like she’s a turtle curling up into her shell.
“What’re we gonna wear if we burn everythin’?” Akane raises one eyebrow as she drops her fork down onto her plate a little too hard.
He resist the urge to face palm with all his might, keeping his voice level and sane. Or at least as level and sane as he can manage to, “We still have clothes. I just don’t think it’s doing us any good to keep all our old stuff. There are too many memories surrounding it all now. This is almost like a fresh start for us. I think getting rid of some clothes and finding new things for us to wear would do some good.”
“Are you asking me to part with the blessed armor that has protected me from the chaos of the universe for years on the whim of a mere mortal?!” Gundham growls a little too loudly. He had no idea people could be so passionate about something as mundane as their clothes.
“I’m not saying it has to be our clothes. That was just one suggestion - although I think it’s something we would all benefit from even if we like our old clothes. But if anyone doesn’t want to lose their old clothes then there are other things. Our student files could do with being burnt…or we could write down things from our past that we want to leave behind."
“What’s brought this on all of a sudden?” Fuyuhiko mumbles, eyes as sharp as ever.
In all honesty, he had almost forgotten him and Peko were there. They’re both so quiet that even though they’re sat across from him, they blend in with their surrounding perfectly. Especially since they’ve both been dead silent at all the recent meal times.
“It came to me in a dream.” He drawls sarcastically, doing his best to avoid the question.
What should he be saying? He most certainly can’t mention Hiyoko. He doesn’t want to think about what she would say if he did. But at the same time it’s not like it’s just Hiyoko that prompted the thought. None of them are exactly pillars of mental fortitude.
However the last person he would expect to hear from is the one who jumps in, “I think it sounds like a good idea…” Teruteru’s voice is quiet but in the stillness of the room it rings out like a bell.
As if it’s calling out to the others, resonating with them, everyone else begins to chime in too. Quickly falling in line like dominoes toppling.
“Yes, it sounds like it will be most fun.” Sonia does her best to hype everyone up, rallying the troops to the best of her ability.
“Yeah, I guess it could be alright.” Kazuichi shrugs casually.
Even Fuyuhiko can’t turn them down, “Fine.”
That’s how they end up shuffling down the stairs twenty minutes later. Arms full of random assortments of boxes. Each one is stuffed full to the brim. Despite the huffing earlier, each and every one of them is dressed in the basic white t-shirt and joggers now. All of their clothes tucked away in the boxes. His own suit is just about visible in the small box he’s carrying. Hajime’s - or his he supposes - file hurriedly shoved on top.
Walking together they all stumble outside the building, into the cool evening air. Soft red enveloping the world around them. As they step out they all set the boxes down on the floor next to each other to free up their hands.
First things first they need to find some sticks or wood to actually start a fire to begin with. Maybe it would have been good to get an idea of what was available before he even suggested it. Who knew it could be so difficult to find anything flammable on the damn island. He isn’t sure if it’s a result of their own effect on the world or if it’s the way the future foundation chose to build this place but almost every plant has been stripped with the exception of a few palm trees right by the coast. It will have to do though.
Stripping down what they can from the trees they manage to make something which vaguely resembles a bonfire. Under any other circumstance he would be massively disappointed by such an ugly looking structure but for now it will have to do.
Just as he’s ready to step up and do his best to light the mess pile with nothing more than sticks and friction, Nagito steps up. Ready to save the day. It turns out between them all, Nagito was the only one with any forethought. He doesn’t need to be asked before he’s crouched down by the pile with a lighter in hand. Honestly, he has no clue where the lighter even came from but he doesn’t want to ask at this point. It’s already too late for questions. As long as it’s here, that’s all that matters.
Like absolute idiots, they all simply crowd around the pile, watching Nagito work his magic. Within minutes they’ve already given up on standing, resorting to sitting cross legged side by side. He can only imagine how crazy they must look sat around the slowly burning fire in one giant circles. Especially with the small boxes sat in each of their laps.
“Ughhhh! I had no idea it would take this long.” Kazuichi sighs, hanging his head low.
“Good things come to those who wait.” Ibuki smirks, gently rocking to the side to nudge Kazuichi’s shoulder. Trying her best to gently cheer him up. It doesn’t do much more than make him scowl more though.
However everyone is swiftly distracted from the two of them as Akane begins chuckling proudly, whipping out a large bottle of vodka from her box. Giving it a teasing swirl as she holds it high for everyone to see, “I brought this.”
“Where did you get that?!” Hiyoko gasps, leaning over Mahiru and Teruteru to try and snatch the bottle from Akane. She’s no match for Akane’s reflexes though. She doesn’t even get within centimeters of the bottle before it’s been whisked away. Hiyoko might have gained a few extra centimeters but it still isn’t enough to close the gap between her and Akane. Not even when they’re both sat down.
All they can do is watch as she unscrews the bottle teasingly. Still swirling it up in the air. But their expressions quickly morph into looks of horror as her ‘well thought out’ plan comes into form.
“No! Akane!” Nagito tries to call out but from the other side of the fire he’s trapped. Useless.
Vodka is launched out of the bottle towards the fire. They all watch as if it’s moving in slow motion. Most of them completely frozen. Hajime just about wakes up in time to cover his face with his arm but Ibuki isn’t quite as lucky. Her eyebrows lightly singed and a ball of fire shoots out towards them. Flames gobbling up the vodka within seconds. Burning hot and fast.
“Who wants to go first.”
Thankfully, it’s burned away within seconds. The danger subsiding as quick as it began. But even then Ibuki is still frozen to the spot. Mouth hanging open. The only thing that moves are her hands which cling onto the face with her now lightly toasted eyebrows.
“What?” Akane frowns at the sea of open mouths around her. Somehow still not piecing together what everyone is freaking out about. Sometimes he wonders if she has any spatial awareness. Or is she just that dumb?
“Maybe we should do away with such…dangerous potions…” Gundham clears his throat, finally coaxing them all into action. It might just be the smartest thing he’s ever said.
It doesn’t need to be suggested twice before Peko has prowled around the circle, grabbing the bottle from above. Akane tries her best to cling onto the bottle but at this point she might as well have not bothered. For Peko it might as well just be taking candy from a baby. If he couldn’t see the way Akane pouts at the sudden yank then he would assume Akane had just willingly handed it over.
“Yes, that might be best.” Peko holds the bottle close to her chest as she moves back to her spot.
He’s about to suggest that they take it back indoors where it can’t be a temptation when the completely unexpected happens. Fuyuhiko reaches over and grabs onto the bottle. Pulling it free straight from Peko’s hands. Even she is too caught off guard to react. Merely shouting out his name as he brings the bottle to his lips, chugging straight from the neck of the bottle, “Fuyuhiko!”
“What? If we’re going to do this then I think we’re gonna need it. We most certainly aren’t wasting it on the fucking fire though.” He says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. And maybe in some ways it is.
It might be impossible to truly forget the hangover from last time but it stings a lot less now with time sitting between them. And he would be lying if he said it wasn’t at least a little fun. If they’re going through with this then the might as well go all the way.
And it’s not just him that seems to see the logic behind his words.
Akane gives Fuyuhiko a hearty wink. Raising an invisible glass to the smaller man, “Ha! I knew I liked ya for a reason baby gangsta.”
“Ugh.” Fuyuhiko groans but simply takes another swig of the vodka. Keeping him words sealed tightly away behind the impenetrable vault of his lips.
Much to his surprise, Mahiru is the one to speak up. Her hands still knotted together in her lap but her head held high and proud, “Maybe we should start then…”
But as the first rages on in front of them, no one makes a move. Each of them just waiting for someone else to take that first step. No one brave enough to be the first.
Sighing deeply, he already knows what he needs to do. This was his idea so he should be the one to bite the bullet. It’s the right thing to do…
Clearing his throat, he stands up in front of everyone, “Fine, me first.” As he stands he grabs the file from his box, holding it out in front of him.
All eyes are on him as he flicks open the file, letting the pages flutter slightly in the gentle breeze that is blowing past them. Getting caught up in the motions of everything. Building up the tension, he slowly, bit by bit, rips the first page from the file.
With every tear his smile grows wider and wider. Who knew there could be such catharsis in an act of destruction like that? It’s not just him either. The cheers around the group get louder and louder with every tear. Reaching a crescendo as he holds the freed page up in the air.
“Fuck Hope’s Peak Academy.” He shouts out at the top of his lungs as he throws the paper into the fire. It very nearly gets blown away but manages to catch on one of the sticks at the last moment. Fire ripping through the ink an paper, quickly chewing through the image of his face until nothing but flecks of ash are left.
“Fuck Izuru Kamukura.”
Another page ripped.
Another sheet on the fire.
“Fuck what they did to me.”
Another page down.
Another page sizzling atop the flames.
“Fuck Junko.”
Up in smoke.
“And fuck them for not even knowing enough about me to write anything personal in this damn thing.”
With a mighty cheer from everyone around him, he throws the entire file on top of the pyre. In a blink it has been consumed. Roaring heat swelling around it. Completely covering the contents of the paper. Hot burning orange blending in with the crimson sky above.
Part of him had been expecting to feel some kind of loss at the sight. The closest connection he has to the life he lost was in those pages. And now they’re gone. But he can’t bring himself to care. All he feels is a weight off his shoulders. Blown up into the sky along with the dark pillars of smoke now twisting around them.
Good riddance to the fucking thing. All it is was is a reminder of what Hope’s Peak saw in him. Not a person. A thing. An assortment of useless traits they could throw away for something better.
“You feel better?” Nekomaru asks with a smirk. He’s leaning his weight back onto his hands, slouching back easily so he can still catch glimpses of the sky beyond the now steadily rising pillar of smoke.
“Definitely.” He doesn’t waste the energy trying to hide his smile, “Who’s next then?”
They all look around the circle once more but it no longer feels quite as stilted. The tense air has been replaced with a warm buzz. Building excitement.
In the end, the one to rise into a kneel is Mikan. Her hands knotted into the fabric of her dress. Ibuki’s hand stays on her back as she shakily rises, holding onto her dress the entire time.
From the second she started to move, everyone falls silent. All waiting patiently. Following her movements. Well almost everyone is… But despite the way Hiyoko stares down at the ground, she doesn’t say a thing. She doesn’t even start breathing rapidly. She just sits there still as a statue. Waiting for Mikan to begin just like everyone else.
“Ummm…” Mikan’s lip wobbles and her legs shake but she stays standing there. Unlike Hajime, she isn’t looking out at the fire or even the crowd of classmates around her. She’s simply staring at her own hands where they clutch onto the well worn fabric.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to rush yourself. Take your time.” Nekomaru gives her an encouraging thumbs up which seems to calm down her shaking somewhat. But still she just stands there, unable to say a word.
But just as he starts to wonder if he should go to her side, she catches them all off guard. Instead of speaking, she simply curls the cloth between her fists and tears. The fabric screams and shouts as it rips apart but she doesn’t stop. Not until it’s split into two frayed sides.
Then she rips again.
And again.
And again.
Her rips getting more and more ferocious with every tear. the pieces getting smaller and smaller. More and more frayed. Until there is barely even fabric left. Scraps of material that are barely even hanging on.
As she tosses the scraps into the fire she shouts at the top of her lungs, “FUCK DESPAIR!”
Her face lights up bright red as everyone around her cheers. And she only grows more red and Sonia and Ibuki jump up, wrapping their arms around her into one large crushing hug. But it’s impossible for anyone to ignore the way she’s beaming. The sparkle in her eyes that he would have assumed was impossible to witness if you had asked him just a few weeks ago. She somehow looks five years younger older at the same time. Caught up in the moment as the flames lay waste to the fabric. Leaving it smoldering atop the pyre.
“Yes! Fuck despair!” Sonia reaches into her box to grab a handful of scrunched up paper balls. But as soon as she throws one handful on, she reaches down and grabs another. And another. Throwing each one onto the fire with as much strength as she can muster.
A few of the balls miss the flames, gently tumbling along the ground but not for long. Before they know it, other people are stood up to, grabbing the paper that had missed the flames and throwing them right back on. Not a single scrap escaping their watchful gaze.
They might as well have descended into animals. The fire burning within them all is no where near put out by the time they’ve finished with all of Sonia’s scraps. If anything it has been stoked. Burning hotter and brighter than ever before.
Before long everyone is standing, rummaging through their own boxes to rip and tear at their files. While he had felt very little for the loss of his own file, seeing the comments and stories they had added to everyone’s files go up in smoke does fill him with the slightest bit of remorse. Possibly the only positive thing that ever came from the school burnt along with the rest of the remnants.
That remorse is quickly gone though when he looks around at the others. At his friends. This might just be one of the best idea’s he’s had in a long time.
“Thank god Hope’s Peak is gone!” Hiyoko screams, tearing at her file like a feral animal. Any pretense at civility is long gone. Yet somehow, despite him having held her as she cried, this is somehow the most raw he has ever seen her. Mahiru does her best to help Hiyoko throw the loose pages into the flames. Barely even caring about how successful they actually are. No one bothers chasing after the paper this time. All too focused on their own pursuits to even pay attention to the world around them.
“You know who I really hate?” Akane grumbles, standing up slowly, “Junko fuckin’ Enoshima.”
Everyone cheers at that. How could they not. More files go tumbling onto the flames as the passion begins to spread like a contagion. Infecting them all.
“Junko took everything from us.” Kazuichi furiously ties his boiler suit up into a ball, chucking the fabric onto the flames with reckless abandon.
“My fucking eye is gone because of her!” Fuyuhiko launches his old eye patch onto the flames as he says that.
At his side Peko is just standing still. Watching the chaos with a detached look on her face as she lingers on the side lines.
“My arm too…” Nagito mutters, his eyes meeting Fuyuhiko’s across the flames.
As he does so he begins ripping up his own file, all signs of the smile that has seemed to permeate his face since he woke up gone. A chilling, stern expression taking over his face instead. And yet somehow it’s the best thing he’s seen all day.
“We were just tools in her stupid fucking game.” It takes him a second to realise who even spat out those words. The voice is already so unfamiliar and foreign. But when he looks up he’s shocked to find Kazuma. Vein bulging on their forehead and chest heaving with righteous fury. Their eyes perfectly reflect the blaze of the fire. A perfect image.
“She just tossed us aside after everything.” Mahiru’s hair matches her face as she joins everyone else tossing clothes onto the fire. They are probably smothering it more than anything else at this point but none of them can bring themselves to care. Not right now.
“We were nothing to her.” Hajime mumbles coldly.
All his memories of her come rushing in at once. The painful lilt of her voice. Too sweet. Too childlike. A wolf in sheep’s clothing. She had whispers sickly lies into his ear. Tempted him. Manipulated him when he was nothing, and built up his empty shell. He might have been manufactured by Hope’s Peak but she created at least half of him. The joint creation of the two worst things he knows in this world. It sends a shiver down his spine.
“Give me that Fuyuhiko.” He doesn’t even bother waiting for a response before he’s pulled the bottle from Fuyuhiko’s hand. Judging by the ease with which he pulls it loose he doesn’t think he wants to know what his scowl look right now.
As if forming a line they each empty their boxes onto the fire before passing the bottle along taking a giant swig. Even now his mind can’t help but wonder how much bacteria they’ve passed along the line but at least he got in early enough that he only had Fuyuhiko to contend with.
Akane is the first person in the line. Everyone jumps back dramatically as she grips both sides of the box, letting her wrinkled pile of clothes drop straight onto the flames, sending embers spewing out from all directions. A bunch of other papers go flying out with it but he isn’t able to catch sight of them before they’re consumed.
Snatching the bottle from Hajime, she takes a large swig and lets the vodka sit in her mouth for a few seconds before finally swallowing. “I ain’t the same anymore after her…” She hisses seethingly, before kicking the box into the fire with surprising ease. A few of the logs get knocked askew but other than that it stays surprisingly stable.
It's after that the pseudo line begins to form. Without warning Akane shoves the bottle at Mikan. And then she just turns and walks off. Slinking back into the depths of the crowd of people now standing around. Hands in her pockets and head hunched over towards the ground.
Mikan takes on Akane’s mantle very well though. Unlike Akane she takes a heavy swig first before setting the bottle down with a shaking hand. Thankfully managing to avoid knocking over the bottle into the fire.
As she steps forward she tips the remnants of her box into the fire. Letting the file splay out into the fire. Their red writing visible for a split second before disappearing into flame.
“I…I had t-to kill people.” As usual her voice is as shaky as her hands as she passes the bottle along to Kazuichi. But even after it’s been passed along she still hovers at his side, staring into the flames unmoving. Watching the remnants of her old life turn into nothing.
Taking a swig for courage, Kazuichi simply chucks the entire box into the fire, dousing it with a splash of vodka to make sure it all catches, “She made me make the worst killing machines in the world…” He wipes the corner of his mouth with his sleeve and shoves the bottle into Peko’s chest.
He’s not sure why but he finds himself taken aback when she actually takes a swig of the bottle. She is a Yakuza like Fuyuhiko so she should fit right in with that scene and yet it’s the most unnatural thing about all of this.
“She made me lose sight of everything I cared about…”
Unlike the others, anger doesn’t bite at her voice the same way. In fact he doesn’t think he’s ever seen her angry. No one could tell any of them they were wrong to be angry right now and yet she’s the same as ever. Completely stoic as she finishes burning the last of her things and passes the bottle to Fuyuhiko.
“She made me into the person I always wanted to avoid becoming.”
Fuyuhiko doesn’t even look back to see if his things have successfully set alight. All he cares about is taking another long swig and turning back to Peko. The two of them drifting back into the darkness with Akane. Heads almost as low as hers - not that he had thought that was possible.
As they walk away the fire shifts slightly as pieces of wood and burnt debris start to fall and settle. As it does so the file he had thrown on the file splays open for a moment, showing some of the remaining pages that hadn’t been ripped out in a rage earlier. Fuyuhiko’s young smiling face looking out innocently. Two sparkling and youthful eyes meeting his own.
The anger seems to have fizzled out along with Fuyuhiko and Peko. Nothing but embers left in their hearts as Sonia steps up, drink hot on her tongue and tears warm in her eyes, “She made me harm my own people. Turning them into weapons of war…”
He had barely even considered Novoselic since waking up. It was just never worth his time to think about. Almost the entire time he had known it it had been a worn torn country. From the second Sonia returned and her parents ‘mysteriously’ died they had been locked in battle after battle. But after hearing about the country from Sonia herself he can only imagine the weight on her shoulders. Thousands, no millions of lives resting upon her. The weight of war heavy on the shoulders of a girl who doesn’t even have a fully formed brain.
God, he needs the vodka back now. The bacteria doesn’t even matter anymore.
Gundham lightly rest his hands on both her shoulders, casually guiding her to his side without a moments hesitation. She slots in at his side with ease, both her hands burying themselves in his scarf. Keeping him as close as possible as he starts to throw his stuff onto the fire. Still not daring to step away from her.
“My….” Gundham doesn’t take the drink at first. But after stumbling over the first world he takes a shuddering breath in and gently coaxes the bottle from Sonia. Only taking a small sip before burying his face into the scarf, “I do not even deserve to be called the ultimate breeder anymore.” He shoves the bottle into Nekomaru as fast as possible, hiding his entire face away as Sonia curls around his arm. The two almost perfectly intertwining.
For a few moments Nekomaru just studies the bottle. Reading the label over and over as if it’s just going to suddenly reveal the truth of the universe to them or something. After the sour taste of the last few they all wait patiently for Nekomaru. Bracing themselves and hanging off of every word.
No one says a thing to interrupt him when he finally does take a short swig of the bottle and carefully throws each item onto the fire. Only stopping to wrap the long chain around his neck once more, “I too have lost my right to my own title. My life was saved but at the cost of how many others…?” He looks around at them all as if they’re going to be able to give him any answers. If they can’t even deal with their own stuff he has no idea how Nekomaru thinks they’re going to be able to help but it’s a quaint thought…
“She stripped down what little of myself I had and built me up as something pure evil…” Kazuma holds the drink to their lips with one shaking hand, the other already shaking the box out over the fire.
As they pass the bottle to Teruteru, Hajime finds himself holding his breath. Teruteru’s eyes flit about frantically for a few moments before finally settling. Resolve building hard and fast in his chest. Only the sound of the crackling fire remains as he finally takes a step forward, chugging the bottle until there’s less than a quarter of the vodka left inside.
“She made me…” His voice stutters for a second. Each word wet and heavy. But they never get to hear him finish the thought. With swimming eyes he turns away. Jaw clenched as tightly as is physically possible. Letting his teeth grind harshly against each other, “You know what, I’m not doing this.”
He throws the box frantically behind him. Not even caring that it doesn’t make it into the fire; only barely catching the edge of the flames. He can’t run off fast enough, not even bothering to hand the bottle over to Ibuki. Instead he lets it thump onto the sandy floor next to her as he sprints off. The doors clattering loudly behind him as he shoves his way back into the building.
Not one of them chases after him. Not even Akane and Nekomaru move an inch. They all just stay frozen there.
“Nagito?” He gently brushes against Nagito’s shoulder, nodding towards the bottle but Nagito just shakes his head. Stepping back slightly as of hoping he’ll just sink into the darkness like Peko, Fuyuhiko, and Akane. But instead of the depths of the crowd, it’s just Hajime’s shadow he’s hiding in.
In the end it’s Ibuki who is the one to pick up the bottle. But instead of drinking it, she simply holds it at her side as she slowly walks over to her box. They watch with rapt attention as she gently pulls out a crumpled stack of papers, weighing them up carefully. He’s still practically on the other side of the fire to her but even from here he can recognise the papers at once. They’re music sheets.
Instead of throwing them onto the flames, she simply sinks to the floor. Sitting in front of the fire cross legged once again. As if she’s commanding them all, they sink down with her. Waiting in silence just like they did with everyone else. But instead of focusing on Ibuki, they’re all peering at the sheets of music now crumpled in her hands. Sheets worn down with years of use and care.
Sighing with a kind of worldliness he wouldn’t usually associate with her she finally takes the inaugural swig of the vodka. As she does so she rocks back and forth slightly. Her fingers running over the paper in her hand over and over. Tracing every line as if they aren’t all waiting patiently on her. As if it’s just her and the sheets sat here.
“Part of me wanted to keep these. It seems silly but destroying music is like burning your soul. But maybe these parts of my soul need to be burned.”
For a few seconds she just sits there, clutching the sheets even tighter. They had been crumpled from the start but they’re almost completely wrecked now. Nothing but scrap in her fists. Only when they’re well and truly wrecked does she finally release her hold, flicking them into the fire with tears in her eyes.
“She’s tainted the heart of music and dance forever.” Her shoulders sag slightly and she hunches over. Curled in enough that her face is tucked away from view. Disguising the shaking of her shoulders as best as she can.
As raw as it is, it might be just what the rest of them needed to see. Especially Hiyoko.
Ibuki crawls forward in the sand to take a drink of vodka before pushing it over to Mahiru. Shaking herself off as the burning of the vodka begins to bleed into her blood stream.
Dragging the box close to the fire she gently lifts out the precious kimono. With tender hands she holds it out. Admiring the way it shimmers beautifully in the setting sun. Fire flickering in front of it, casting beautiful shadows in each of the creases.
“I…I’m the same. I didn’t want to lose my kimono but…” Without a second look she tosses the kimono over the fire. It spread out over the wood, the edges catching on fire first before the flames begin to lick across the rest of the fabric. Devouring the entire thing.
With tears thick on her cheeks she begins to ramble. Words spilling from her lips without leaving her any time to breath. Just stumbling ramble after ramble, “Fuck my parents, and my grandmother, and Hope’s Peak, and the future foundation, and Junko.” She spits each name desperately. As if still clinging onto them like she had been clinging onto her kimono. Clawing after them.
Mahiru subtly reaches towards Hiyoko. Her hand curling around Hiyoko’s wrist. She pulls Hiyoko into her, letting her cry into her shoulder as she runs a soothing hand down her hair.
She doesn’t even bother picking up the vodka. Nor does she go into her box. Instead she just sits there, Hiyoko pressed into her - clinging on for dear life - and says, “I…I’m just…tired…”
Honestly, he feels the same. It had felt so light earlier but now with the light fading and the fire slowly burning itself out on their ashes he just feels tired.
No one makes a move for the vodka or for their boxes or even for the fire itself. They simply watch as Mahiru carefully pulls a stack of printed photo’s from her pockets. They aren’t photo’s he has seen before - although he certainly recognises the subjects.
Hiyoko and Ibuki performing on a stage dripping with hot pink blood. Kazuichi sat on the edge of some scaffolding, welding the edge of a tall metal structure. A shot from behind Peko and Fuyuhiko as they stare out over a railing at the destruction of Tokyo. The photos of their last few years together.
They sit in silence, pressed up against each other. The warmth of the fire is the only thing staving away the cold. As the fire gets lower and lower, they watch Mahiru slowly toss each picture into the flames. Embers slowly dissolving the images until nothing is left. Memory after memory broken down and remade into ashes.
He slowly finds his head drooping onto Kazuichi’s shoulder. His eyes fluttering closed as he bathes in the warmth of the fire.
And he takes in his first breath of the new air.
Chapter 34: 28th of May
Summary:
As night falls they return to the building in the hopes of finding some peace in sleep.
Chapter Text
28/05 - 00:01
Even as she sun dips beneath the horizon and a chill is brought in with the sea breeze, they don’t move. Hours pass and the fire burns away until not even embers remain but still they sit there. They’re all aware that they should head back indoors. Especially as goosebumps begin crawling up their arms. But still no one moves an inch.
From where he’s laying with his head nestled in Kazuichi’s shoulder he can only see a few of their classmates. However even from that view alone it’s clear that by now a good number of people are just asleep. Using each other as pillows in lieu of actual beds.
He can see Fuyuhiko with his eye closed, leaning into Peko. Not to mention Mikan with her head in Ibuki’s lap, and Hiyoko with hers on Mahiru. When you look at them like this they look far younger and more innocent than they really are.
But as much as they would like to keep laying there, the longer they wait the more the goosebumps spread. Soon the crackle of the fire has been replaced by the chatter of teeth. Even the people sleeping have started to curl in on themselves. Instinctively trying to hide away from the biting cold.
Without many other choices they find themselves slowly shaking everyone awake. Leading their bleary eyed classmates up and off the beach. Together they march back inside, their arms folded tightly to their chests as they seek out any kind of warmth. It seems Gundham had the right idea with his scarf after all…
As they march along Kazuichi sticks right by his side. His feet only just managing to avoid biting at Hajime’s heels as they walk along. After the fifth near miss he considers just turning around and asking Kazuichi to give him some space but he holds himself back. It’s not like he’s trying to get in the way. And it would be a little unfair of him to ask for personal space now when he was using Kazuichi as a pillow for the last few hours.
They are all far too tired to make conversation as they walk. And this is only exacerbated by the stairs as they stumble and fumble their way up each one, lead by Nekomaru and Sonia who seem to be the only people put together and awake enough for this kind of trek.
As usual he’s still sandwiched between Nagito and Kazuichi. Kazuichi still biting at his heels. It certainly isn’t helped by the fact that Nagito keeps stopping in the middle of the stairs to yawn blearily. Although he’s doing his best to stay upright and keep moving, he can’t hide the way he sways and wobbles with every step.
As they draw near to the top of the stairs he leans his head in near to Nagito. Getting close enough to hopefully prevent anyone else overhearing his muffled whisper, “Are you okay?”
“Hm?” Nagito cocks his head to one side as his brain slowly processes Hajime’s question, “Oh, yes. I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about someone like me.”
He waves Hajime off with a casual sense of ease but he’s not quite good enough of an actor to pull the wool over Hajime’s eyes. Not even that innocent looking smile can distract him from the pale pallor of Nagito’s skin. Especially not when he’s wobbling about like that. He didn’t even get involved with everyone else last night. Standing with them and yet somehow standing off the to side at the same time. Absent in everything but his physical presence.
“I don’t believe you.” He whispers even softer into Nagito’s ear. But still he keeps moving. Marching along with everyone else back into the communal area.
Although he doesn’t verbally acknowledge that he even heard Hajime, his stiffened shoulders say more than enough. With them walking like this he can’t see Nagito’s face but he doesn’t need to when everything is so clearly visible from his posture alone.
Unfortunately, before he can say anything more they begin to pull into the communal area and the buzz of chat slowly begins to rise as everyone says their exhausted goodbyes. He can barely even see most of the room through the thick crowd of people milling about. However bit by bit people start to vanish, rubbing their eyes and yawning widely as they disappear.
The entire time he sticks close to Nagito, not bothering to try and disguise the pointed looks he’s throwing the mans way. He’s distantly aware of Kazuichi who is still diligently following behind him; thankfully now far enough away to not be at risk of stepping on Hajime’s feet.
But as everyone else begins to disappear Nagito remains right in the middle of the communal area. Staring off at something far beyond this place.
“Nagito, are you coming?” He takes a tentative step forward towards the rooms, looking back at Nagito as if hoping to coaxing him along.
But Nagito just shakes his head, offering yet another sweet innocent smile. His eyes crinkling up softly, “I think I’m just going to stay up and read. I’m not really feeling tired yet.” He grabs a random book from the shelves and sits himself down on the couch. Completely ignoring Kazuichi and Hajime who are now just standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.
Well two can play at that game. Clenching his jaw he crosses the room and grabs a book for himself. Throwing himself onto the couch next to Nagito, “Sounds nice. I’ll join you.”
Honestly, he’s not even sure why he’s putting in this much effort. There’s nothing wrong with Nagito wanting to avoid sleeping for a little while. It would be hypocritical for him to think any differently. Yet the thought of leaving Nagito in here alone makes him seethe.
“You don’t -” Nagito makes a halfhearted attempt at shooing away Hajime but he doesn’t even need to finish the sentence to know how pointless the attempt is. A mere glance at Hajime’s expression is all he needs to fall back into the couch with a sigh and a fake smile, “Okay. That would be nice.”
“Good.” He reciprocates with a false smile of his own. Not letting it reach his eyes.
Poor Kazuichi is left alone in the middle of the room, yawning softly and shifting his weight from side to side. Stuck between his need to collapse into a warm bed and wanting to keep an eye on Hajime, or Nagito, or maybe both of them. Honestly, he’s not too sure exactly what it is that’s keeping his sticking around like this.
Looking up over the edge of his book he gives Kazuichi a shaky thumbs up. Subtly giving him the hint. But when he doesn’t move Hajime moves onto a slightly less subtle approach, “I’ll see you tomorrow Kazuichi.”
“Oh…okay. See you tomorrow.” He reluctantly slinks off down the corridor, dragging his feet the entire time. The smile on his face is even less convincing than Nagito’s but he ignores it, hoping the other man will at least understand where he’s coming from.
Once Kazuichi’s door has clicked closed behind him there’s no one left in the room except him and Nagito. Both of them sat side by side on the couch, a good thirty to forty centimeters sat between the two of them.
Absentmindedly he flicks along the pages, barely even aware of whats on the page. Even though he’s not looking Nagito’s way, he’s acutely aware of the speed with which the other man flicks the pages. The quiet shallow breaths coming off of him softly.
Should he broach the topic with the other man and actually ask how he’s doing? Or will that do more harm than good. It’s hard to tell. But what if there’s something wrong with his arm again. It’s not like he can trust Nagito of all people to actually tell him the truth about how he’s feeling.
However, the longer he sits there waiting, the less and less inclined he feels to break the comfortable quiet that sits between them. It feels calm and peaceful here. And calm isn’t something he has really associated with Nagito before. At least not since their first day or two inside the program. And yet there’s no denying it. He hasn’t felt this way since Mikan and Nagito left the patient room. He had forgotten how nice it felt to drift away surrounded by other people. A far cry from sleeping in that dark quiet room alone.
Bit by bit, he slowly starts to let his thoughts drift away from Nagito. Sinking into the couch and gently flicking through the book. Finally letting the words stick into his mind. It’s not exactly an interesting book. A murder mystery. A little insensitive considering everything they (and Makoto and the others) went through. He’s surprised anyone would even want this thing around and yet he keeps flicking through anyway. Letting himself get sucked into the bland and predictable story.
He’s so sucked in that it takes him a few minutes to notice Nagito’s head starting to drop. It’s only when the book begins to slowly slide from his hands that he notices his eyes have drifted closed.
“Nagito?” He whispers tentatively. But even with Nagito’s head lolling slightly, he half expects the other mans eyes to snap open at once. They never do though. Not that he dares actually wake him up. Based on how he’s been looking he could definitely do with a little rest, even if he’s too stubborn to actually rest.
So instead of waking him, he simply stays there. In the back of his mind he knows he should probably leave him be and head back to his own room but he can’t bring himself to leave. Not when everything is so calm and peaceful here. In his head he tries to justify this by telling himself he’s just watching over Nagito but he can’t fool himself.
He knows he should probably take his own advice and rest but instead he keeps on flicking through his book. Turning the pages one by one. Going through the motions even though he already knows who the murderer is. He’s so lost in the story that he’s actually not sure how much time has passed. An hour. Two hours. More? Who knows. He can’t even bring himself to care.
Slowly he begins to feel himself drifting away. The words on the page becoming fuzzier and fuzzier until they are no longer legible. Nothing but squiggles on the page. Something in the back of his mind tells him that he should probably go back to his room. Surely that would be comfier. But that still isn’t enough to actually make him get up.
Instead he drifts off next to Nagito. Head sagging into the cushions of the couch and book slowly dropping onto the ground. Thumping softly on the tough surface before he finally falls into the abyss.
~~~
28/05 - 03:12
When he first jerks awake he assumes he’d had a nightmare. It’s not exactly a stretch. Every other time he’s woken up this suddenly that’s been the case. Screaming echoes inside his mind. Ricocheting around the room. It’s only when he realises his throat isn’t burning that he starts to notice that he isn’t the one screaming.
A loose fist comes flying over at him. Slamming into his arm and jerking him upright. Heart thundering in his chest he looks around, still trying to get his bearings.
He’s not in his room. Not in any room actually. He’s still laying on the couch next to a currently writhing Nagito. His metal arm flying around with far too much speed considering how heavy it is.
As it turns out, it wasn’t Hajime screaming but it most certainly wasn’t all in his head. While writhing on the couch, Nagito screams his lungs out. he has no idea how no one has come out of their own rooms yet. It takes everything he has not to slam his hands over his ears as hard as he can.
Reaching out, he grips Nagito’s shoulders as hard as he can in the hopes of pulling him out of his nightmare, “Nagito!” As he calls out his shakes Nagito as hard as he can until his eyes finally flick open and the screaming stops. But even then Nagito is just staring up at him with fearful eyes. Pupils dilated and heart thumping loud enough for Hajime to be able to hear it.
“Hey, it’s okay. You’re here with me. Remember? In the future foundation building.” He mutters as soothingly as he can. Gripping onto Nagito. Bring him back. Grounding him.
Bit by bit, his heart rate begins to slow and his breathing plateaus off. The short sharp breaths slowly evening out somewhat.
“Hajime?” Nagito blinks slowly as if he’s only just noticing he isn’t alone in the room.
Unable to hold back his own sigh, he carefully releases Nagito’s shoulder and leans back. Backing away from his personal space as much as the couch will let him.
“Yeah, it’s me. There’s no one else here.” His shoulders begin to slump slightly as the adrenaline slowly burns out of his system.
Remind him never to get woken up like that again. He must say, he doesn’t enjoy the feeling of his heart in his throat all that much.
As if he doesn’t quite believe Hajime, Nagito looks around the room. Expecting something or someone to come launching out of the shadows. But everything remains as still and peaceful as ever.
“I…I see…” Nagito forces a wobbly smile but even then he doesn’t stop looking around. His head jerking in every direction the second the slightest sound breaks out. Flinching at every sound - both real and imaginary.
Clearing his throat he jumps to his feet. Still feeling his hands and legs tremble with the slightest bit of adrenaline still left in his system. He just needs to walk it off.
“Sit up, let me make you some tea.” He turns his back to hide as much of himself as possible. slinking off into the kitchen where he can hide even better as he flicks on the kettle and prepares two mugs of tea. After that he’s pretty sure they deserve a little tea.
As he works he sneaks a glance or two over his shoulder but Nagito is unmoving. Hunched over on himself so his chest is pressed up against his knees. Holding himself together like he’s something precious about to break.
Thankfully the shaking of his hands have died down by the time the water has finished boiling. With somewhat steadier hands, he finishes up the beverages to the best of his ability. He’s faintly aware of how Sonia would probably pass out at the mere sight of the tea but she’s not here right now and he gets the distinct feeling that Nagito won’t even notice the quality - let alone care.
Breathing in heavily, he braces himself once more. Arms tensing in anticipation as he grips both mugs delicately and carefully carries them over to the couches. Setting his own mug down onto the coffee table before approaching Nagito.
“Here.” He presses the other hot teacup into Nagito’s hands which forces him to sit slightly upright.
Without a second thought Nagito brings the mug up to his lips, taking a long sip despite the scalding heat. He doesn’t even flinch. If you caught a glimpse of him while you were walking fast you might think he was sipping at a nice cool cup of water rather than scalding hot tea.
His teeth clink against the china loudly but Nagito is too out of it to notice or even care. He simply mumbles, “Thank you…” and continues on sipping away.
The liquid makes it impossible to hide the way his hands shake but Hajime keeps his mouth shut. Taking a sip of his own tea and diverting his eyes away as much as possible. Perhaps boiling hot liquid wasn’t the best call for someone who can’t keep a steady hand but Nagito isn’t complaining so he supposes it will do for now.
Neither of them speak as they finish up their teas. The only sounds sitting between them being the awkward sounds of stilted sipping and the chattering of Nagito’s teeth against the fine china.
They sit like that as they both finish up their teas. Letting the burning liquid attack their throats but leaving a warm tingling feeling flowing throughout them. Burning into their very blood.
Setting his cup back down on the coffee table he clears his throat and finally asks, “Did…Did you want to talk about it?”
Silence.
Nagito just sits there. He’s still gripping onto his cup, even taking sips from it, despite all the tea being long gone. Only the slight fading warmth is left clinging onto the mug for dear life. It’s like he’s comatose. Still lost in his own world despite being sitting upright with his eyes open.
Moving as delicately and carefully as he can, he shuffles closer and closer to Nagito. Quickly closing the distance between them. But still nothing. He doesn’t even blink. Keeping his movements slow and deliberate, he reaches up and gently takes a hold of the mug in Nagito’s hands. Prying it away gently and setting into onto the coffee table next to his own. Only then does Nagito seem to wake up. At least part of him.
He blinks slowly, looking around the darkened room for a second before his eyes land on Hajime. Something shifting beneath the surface that Hajime can't quite put his finger on.
“You know. I have nightmares too. Basically every night.” He whispers under his breath as if he’s sharing some kind of top secret. As if he isn’t just admitting what they all already know if true. He would be more surprised to find out any of them weren’t having nightmares honestly.
“What are yours about?” Nagito swallows hard, choking down the lump in his throat. His usually relatively put together voice cracking and breaking with every syllable.
“Junko mostly. Sometimes about Chiaki.” He runs a hand up and down his arm. Trying and failing to chase away the goosebumps that have invaded his skin.
It feels strange to say out loud. Right now Chiaki and Junko feel like nothing more than faded memories. Things from another life and another time.
He isn’t even sure why he’s mentioning those two. He could have mentioned his other dreams nightmares. The ones that include all the bodies of the people he has killed or lead to their deaths. The memories of his past. The nightmares of all of their bodies broken and defeated on the floor. And yet it’s Junko and Chiaki that keep invading his mind. Their silhouettes cast upon every corner of his mind.
“I forgot the two of you were close before…before she died.”
Hajime’s brain stalls for a moment. The words slip out like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Nothing but common sense. And yet this is somehow the first time he’s heard that, “We were?”
Of course he knows he must have known Chiaki in some capacity before…everything. She had called out his name - his real name - on more than one occasion before her death. But so far he’s never heard a single one of the others ever referencing him in relation to Chiaki. It’s like he was nothing more than a ghost even before Hope’s Peak ‘killed’ him.
“You don’t remember?” Nagito frowns as if he’s actually surprised. Like he expected Hajime to suddenly remember all the memories that were taken from him, “I suppose that makes sense.”
“How do you know we were close?” He leans in close suddenly. All thoughts about the nightmare and everything else completely gone. All he needs are answers
“I’m guessing mostly. Do you remember when we first met?”
“In that basement with Junko and the others.” When he tried to shoot Nagito… “How could I forget…”
At the time it hadn’t exactly been memorable but looking back now he can remember each and every second. The beginning of the end for them all. It does make him wonder what would have happened if things went down differently back then. Could anything have been changed?
“She recognised you then. She called you Hajime despite you being Izuru then. Not to mention she always used to stay late to wait in front of the reserve school every day instead of heading to the dorms with everyone else.”
“Every day…” He says the words out loud as if that will suddenly make them all make sense.
How could he have been meeting with her so often but never once met any of the others? Unless they just didn’t want to spend time with someone from the reserve department like him. But if that was the case then how did he even meet Chiaki in the first place? It makes no sense. And yet it makes everything so much cleaner in his mind at the same time. If they met that often then her reaction when she saw him would make sense.
He had thought he would get answers but he honestly feels like he just has more questions now.
“She must have really cared about you.” Nagito hums warmly like that’s supposed to make him feel better. But somehow it only makes him feel worse.
God why can’t he just remember?! The Neo World Program is fine to remember but of course everything else has to be gone. Useless…
“I suppose so…”
Nagito cracks a flimsy smile and leans back so his head almost hangs over the back of the couch. Staring up at the ceiling wistfully, “I wonder what she would think about us all now…”
Now that feels like a loaded question. He’s not even sure that he’s the right person to be answering it. Technically he doesn’t even know Chiaki. At least not the real one. Not anymore.
However as he mirrors Nagito, leaning back into the cushions, he mumbles, “I only remember the Chiaki from inside the program but…I think she would be proud.”
Maybe it’s just wishful thinking and him projecting the Chiaki he knew onto a girl who died years ago. But the Chiaki who had been with them in there would just be glad they were together. Relieved that despite all odds they were all still alive. Her sacrifice meant something as it allowed them to all be here today.
“Even though we lost to despair?” Nagito fully turns his head on the spot to allow his eyes to meet Hajime. In that moment he’s struck by how young he looks. Surrounded by the darkness of the door and with his eyes blown wide he just looks like a desperate child scrambling for any safety in the turbulent sea.
“Well we’ve won now, haven’t we?”
Winning doesn’t necessarily feel like the right word but as he says it now he knows it’s what needs to be said. Thinking about it as a victory is the best way to keep going. Besides, if Junko could see them right now it would be very clear they won against her.
“Hm…”
“It’s funny thinking about my memory of you guys before all this now.” He chuckles ever so slightly.
When they’re all in this place like this it’s easy to forget these are the same people he met back then. Chiaki might be relieved to see how they are right now but he can only imagine what she would say if she saw them back then. At their worst. When Mikan was still foaming at the mouth for Junko and when Sonia and Mahiru would stand about crowds of people, expressions dripping with blood lust.
“I can’t imagine you thought highly of us. Not when you are the ultimate hope.”
The ultimate hope… He shivers at the name. Goosebumps crawling down his spine. He had almost managed to forget they called him that. It feels ironic looking back on it now. He would love to see what those stuck up bastards in white coats would say seeing him now. If he had thought ‘Izuru Kamukura’ was bad then that was clearly only because he had forgotten about ‘ultimate hope’.
“Ugh, I hate that name.” He clenches his jaw, staring daggers into the ceiling above him.
“Sorry…” Nagito’s soft voice is barely even a whisper in the darkness of the room.
He waves it off as quickly as possible. The last thing he needs is to be making Nagito feel worse right now, “It’s…okay. But yeah, I didn’t particularly care about any of you. You all seemed very boring.”
It was hard to see anything beyond his own entertainment back then. Unable to see the enjoyment in life beyond harsh and cold calculations.
“That makes sense.” Nagito chuckles ever so slightly but it sounds more like a strangled wheeze than anything else, “Not anymore?”
“No…” The word slips out before he even needs to think about.
Honestly, it’s not like they’ve changed much. If anything they are more predictable and less chaotic now than they used to be. But somehow boring just doesn’t feel like the right word to describe them anymore. Too simplistic after everything that has happened, “But even if you were, I wouldn’t mind anymore. Boring might be nice now.”
Boring. Once upon a time he had done everything in his power - including allying himself with Junko - to avoid that. Now a boring life almost sounds appealing. It’s the one thing he can’t actually have anymore though. At least not a normal boring life. Not after everything he did of his own free will. He’s dug his own grave.
“I can’t imagine living a boring life.” Nagito mumbles but he gets the distinct impression that he’s not actually saying it to Hajime.
From there they fall into an easy silence. Sat side by side but still far enough at an ocean sits between them. Both mirroring each other, staring up at the same ceiling but not sharing a word. It makes him wonder what the other man is seeing as he looks up. Does he see the same stretching white plains Hajime sees or does he see something different altogether? Is he still here in the same moment with Hajime?
But even as they sit there, a single question still sits on his tongue. Waiting impatiently. Asking to be spoken. How on earth are you supposed to ask a question like that though? Especially when things are easy and peaceful now.
Yet despite all his questioning and uncertainty, he braces himself. Committing himself to ripping off the band aid. With a single sigh he asks, “What was your dream about…?”
The question hasn’t even fully left his mouth before he’s regretting asking in the first place. It’s not like he needs to know. Bringing it up might just remind him of whatever the dream was about in the first place. And that was the last thing he needs.
Unable to hold back his curiosity, he fully turns his head to the side to get a better look at Nagito. Drinking in every aspect of his appearance. Trying to figure out what is going on inside his head.
He’s no longer staring at the ceiling. His head hasn’t move an inch but his eyes are screwed shut now. Any ghost of a smile well and truly gone this time. Every muscle in his face is tensed. Ripples and wrinkles of tension pulled taut across every inch of his skin. He could swear that he can just about see Nagito’s eyes flitting about frantically under his eyelids.
“It was about everything before all this…”
“Before? Do you mean before the program or before Junko?” He asks tentatively. Might as well see how far he can dig before he hits a sore spot at this point. He’s already committed to this path so why not go all the way.
“Before Hope’s Peak.”
He would be lying if he said he hadn’t considered the possibility. It’s not like you become like Nagito if you had the most normal childhood. At least not from what he’s heard. During the program he only managed to get a few snippets of that life out from the other boy but it’s not like any of the things he did hear painted a positive picture. He does wonder what could have happened to cause him to react like that to his nightmares. Would part could warrant that level of terror?
“I remember you mentioning it inside the program.”
It’s Nagito’s turn to whip around towards Hajime now. Eyes finally pulled open as he tries to read Hajime’s expression. A million thoughts visibly whizzing around in his head. Only after a few seconds does it all seem to click and the memories come flooding back. Tension quickly bleeding out of his expression until he’s slumped back down against the couch cushions, “I forgot we talked about that…”
“Was it about your parents?” He narrows his eyes, trying to remember what he heard about the other boys parents.
They never really came up all that much in conversation. In fact there’s only a single thing he remembers being told about Mr and Mrs Komaeda and that was about their death. Dying in a plane crash that Nagito was on does feel like the sort of thing that would warrant endless nightmares. There was a reason Junko didn’t leave any of their parents standing unlike with her own classmates.
Unfortunately he never does end up getting an answer to the question though. Clearing his throat a little too loudly, Nagito simply stands up. Jaw clenched despite smiling innocently.
“I shouldn’t keep you up like this.” His voice is a little shaky despite Nagito’s best efforts. An image that is only solidified by the soft tremble of his legs as he stands there. Unable to hide it by sitting now.
“It’s fine.” Sitting up straight he does his best to reassure Nagito but it’s pointless when he’s already made up his mind. There’s no changing the stubbornness in that man, no matter what he tries.
“No, you need sleep even more than me. I’ll rest in my room now but thanks for keeping me company even after I fell asleep.” Painting his face over with that sickly sweet smile, he turns around and begins making a beeline towards the bedrooms. Moving as fast as he can without actually running - as if that’s somehow supposed to make it look suspicious.
No! He’s not letting it end like this. Not right now.
“Nagito!” He shouts out loudly. Praying it isn’t loud enough to draw the attention of any of their friends. But if they didn’t wake up earlier from the screaming they should be good now still.
Thankfully the shout is still enough to make Nagito stop right in his track. Grinding to an immediate halt, “What?”
He hadn’t quite planned this far ahead. There has to be something he can say. Some way of getting through to the other boy that he will actually listen to. Because it’s clear he isn’t listening to Hajime if nothing else.
Standing up as fast as he can, he stares daggers into the back of Nagito’s turned head, “You know that we didn’t exactly get along inside the program but things are different now. We’re on the same side. We don’t exactly have many allies so we’re all the same now. None of us is worse than the others.”
It feels odd to consider Nagito a friend after everything. He couldn’t stand to see him just a few weeks ago. But all those feelings feel like distant faded memories. Meaningless in the face of everything. It’s hard to hold things against someone like him after everything. Besides, he was starting to think they were actually on their way to becoming friends. Not that Nagito of all people would be able to see that.
Sure enough, the words are still meaningless, “Thanks. You’re too kind to someone like me.” He just smiles that stupid crinkled smile, the feeling never reaching his closed eyes. Only surface level.
“No, you’re not doing that again. I mean it. There’s no ‘someone like me’ anymore. We’re all just the same.” He puts his foot down hard. Anger flaring up inside him a little too powerfully.
Why can’t he just get it? Why can’t he understand?
For a split second the words seem to puncture through as the smile immediately drops. His jaw clenching once more as he peers over his shoulder to meet Hajime’s glare, “I understand, and thank you. But I should really go to bed now.”
and just like that he vanishes down the corridor. Not stopping at Hajime’s calls this time. Getting sucked up into the darkness of the hallway until the door clicks shut behind him and he’s well and truly gone. Leaving Hajime all alone in the corridor.
Chapter 35: 29th of May
Summary:
Hajime is awoken by Gundham who has a one track mind
Chapter Text
29/05 - 07:46
“Hajimeeee!” A loud voice booms at his doorway, accompanied by a thundering knock which rattles the door viciously on it’s hinges.
He pulls his pillow over his head as tightly as he possibly can. If he pulls it tight enough will he be able to smother himself? Now seems like the perfect time to test that out as the knock rings out across the door one more time.
Sleep had once again eluded him all night. At this point he’s not even sure why he bothers when it’s clear that this room is cursed. Every time he tries to sleep in this place he’s either left high and dry or woken up prematurely, still covered in sweat. He can’t just have a nice sound nights sleep… Is that really so much to ask for?
It certainly isn’t helped when people decide that he doesn’t need to sleep. Smacking against his door and bellowing to no end. Sure it’s probably not the crack of dawn any more, but that doesn’t make him feel any more positive towards the situation.
“Hajime, you need to leave your chamber. I will not waste my precious minutes calling for you any longer.” Gundham’s growl is practically deafening, even through the door.
He is yet to hear any explanation for why he should want to open the door but he finds himself groaning and throwing away the pillow any way. One day is all he asks for. Of course that’s too much for this place though.
“Fine…fine…!” He grumbles more to himself than anyone else. Storming over like a stroppy toddler, he throws open the door. Glaring at the unsurprisingly well put together Gundham through his tousled bed hair, “What is it?”
“Come with me. Your presence is needed and the supreme overlord of ice doesn’t wait.” Gundham simply turns up his nose. Walking away back towards the communal area and leaving Hajime stood in the doorway like a fool, still dressed in his crumpled pajama’s. Somehow he feels like he’s getting played. Just being dragged about like a play thing for everyone else to use.
Digging his nails into his palms he seriously just considers slamming the door and throwing himself into his bed. After all, he succeeded in his goal of getting rid of Gundham. With him long gone so there’s nothing else keeping Hajime from his rest any more. But of course the second he even considers it he catches sight of Gundham pacing in the room ahead. His pristine form passing across the doorway every few seconds as he glides from side to side.
Ughhhh, he doesn’t really have a choice does he? How did it become his job to keep an eye on everyone? Somehow he is starting to feel more like he’s been tricked into becoming some sort of parent to the entire gaggle of them.
Running a hand down his face, he submits to his fate and closes the door just long enough to change into some fresh clothes. Smoothing down his hair in the cracked mirror before finally deeming himself to be fit to be seen in public. Not that there’s even anyone around he need to put in any effort for. He could come out with underwear on his head and it wouldn’t matter. Although he suspects Hiyoko would have something to say if nothing else.
Pulling himself together, he finally leaves his own room and stalks down the corridor towards the communal area. This better be worth it… He scowls the entire way, even as other people begin to come into view within the room. It’s not exactly a big group but its still some kind of organisation which does a slightly uneasy feeling rise in his chest. Does he even want to know what’s happening…
Gundham is still pacing across the room, even as Hajime finally steps in, making his presence known with a loud and abrupt cough. Behind him sat around on the couches are Sonia, Nekomaru and Ibuki. All of them clutching little tea cups which they are slowly sipping from. Nekomaru makes it look more like a kids tea party than an actual ‘grown up’ meeting.
“I’m here…this better be good.” He shoves his hands into his pockets grouchily. That’s all he can do to stop himself from pulling his hair out.
“Rejoice, we have come up with a devilish plan.” Gundham finally stops pacing, placing both hands on his hips as he blusters loudly.
He’s not even sure if he wants to know what their plan is now but still he sighs, “Get to the point.”
Thankfully Nekomaru is the one to take the reins of the conversation, “We’re going to look around the other floors. I know you guys already searched this floor well but the other floors are still pretty unknown.”
He hadn’t even really considered exploring the other floors. After the let down that was this floor, it didn’t really seem necessary. What more is there to see. Its pretty clear that this building was abandoned long before they came here. A skeleton of what once was.
“You did mention finding other clothes for us to wear. I believe that is a wonderful idea, however the clothes we have been provided with aren’t…swag…?” Sonia jumps in to explain. All of them working together to try and coax him into working along side them.
“Exactly! Ibuki needs some more fresh entertainment or she’s gonna melt into a stir fry of crazy!”
He raises his eyebrows even higher. Hands curling into tight fists within his pockets where no one else can see them, “You dragged me out for exploring?”
With the way Gundham had been smacking his door down he had been expecting something more. Maybe something that was actually pressing. Certainly not this. But if this was all it was why did they need him specifically. Its not like they need him for any reason. Nothing is stopping them from exploring on their own.
“Well you don’t need to come…” Ibuki deflates, her entire body melting into the ground as the air fizzles out of her with an astonishing speed, “We just thought you might want to…”
Okay now he just feels guilty…great.
Slowly removing his hands from his pockets, he runs a hand down his face, “It’s fine. You’re probably right that there could be some useful things.” Let’s be honest, it’s not like he was sleeping anyway. Rest is out of the picture so he might as well use the time productively. At least it will provide a little more entertainment.
Sonia claps her hands with a little too much enthusiasm, “Oh good! I was concerned that you would not want to accompany us.” He should have realised this would all be her idea.
He must say, he’s a little surprised they wouldn’t have brought Mikan if both Sonia and Ibuki are here. It makes no sense. Certainly he can’t imagine Mikan turning them down if they’d asked her, regardless of her condition at the moment.
“We are allowing you to join us on this expedition. You should show a little more enthusiasm or we shall cleave your very soul from your body.” Gundham holds his head up high, keeping the same haughty expression that he always has. Staring down at them all. He knows it’s all an act, he’s not stupid, but it still makes him want to roll his eyes.
“When are we going?”
“Well, if you’re ready we were thinking of going now. It’s not like there is anything else to do.” Nekomaru scratches the side of his nose casually as he speaks.
“Yeah, that’s fine. Let me grab an apple for the way first.”
So with some food in hand, he joins the others as they begin their little impromptu adventure. All of them traipsing out side by side. He finds himself squished between Ibuki and Nekomaru as Gundham and Sonia lead the way. Completely oblivious to everyone else following behind them.
“Where are we going first them?” He looks between Ibuki and Nekomaru. Wondering if there’s any plan at all - not that there are many choices. When you take out this floor it’s not like there’s really much more left to the building. It isn’t like it’s a skyscraper or anything.
“We should finish looking on the bottom floor!” Ibuki jumps up and down with far too much energy considering how early it must be in the day at this point. Even just watching her is draining enough.
“Yes, after all we have already seen a lot of that floor.” Nekomaru hums, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, before giving Ibuki an approving thumbs up.
Well that was easier than he was expecting.
“Sounds like a plan. Is that okay with you guys too?” He calls out to Sonia and Gundham in front but they only give a sharp nod of acknowledgement before going straight back to their chatter.
Together they all head down the stairs with Ibuki half skipping and half galloping at their side. The entire time she just talks about all the things she wants to find in the building. A list which only gets less and less realistic with every passing second.
“Imagine if they had a giant stage to perform on!” Her eyes sparkle at the mere thought, regardless of the fact that even she must realise she’s going to be let down.
“I don’t think the future foundation would make a stage in their office building.” Nekomaru mumbles, trying to let her down slowly.
“Well, we didn’t think they would have a secret room to host a virtual world. You never know for sure with this place!”
It’s almost impressive that she can keep up this kind of attitude all day every day. No matter how many boring empty rooms they go into, she still just as excited for each one.
By the time they’ve almost gotten to the end of the bottom floor he’s almost entirely given up hope. There are only so many dull and empty office rooms that you can go into before you lose interest entirely. Even the rooms that had seemingly once been home to Makoto and the other are dull and empty now. It’s a miracle when they finally do stumble upon a room which has been stocked with a minimal amount of furniture which isn’t just desks.
“Finally.” Gundham sighs as he steps into the room.
By normal standards it’s barely even work noticing. It must have been a break room one upon a time as there are still a few couches scattered around the room. Unlike the ones in the common room in front of their rooms and in front of Makoto and the others rooms, these couches are covered in a thick layer of dust. Every surface completely abandoned. Sitting in here too long would no doubt damage their lungs but right now he can’t bring himself to care.
After spending so long looking at absolutely nothing, they all jump at the opportunity to examine the few cupboards and shelves scattered about the dusty and forgotten room.
“We should examine this room from top to bottom!” Sonia speaks in her most regal tone as she points straight into the room with a little more enthusiasm than is warranted.
“You got it!” Ibuki cheers, “We should all take a different cupboard or shelf to find everything!”
None of them have any arguments, all splitting off and taking a different section. He ends up examining a tall bookshelf tucked away in one corner of the room. The bookshelf is too big for him to hold his breath the entire time he’s examining but he does his best. Only taking in breaths when he needs to and always making sure to turn his head fully away before taking that deep breath in.
Much like the shelves upstairs, this one has just been stocked with a selection of light reading. Why they would need this in a building like this one, he has no idea. Still he does his best to read each and every spine. Praying for something that will make his time worthwhile. However beyond seeing a few book covers that are a little raunchier than he ever signed up to see, he ends up with a big pile of nothing. All that lung damage for nothing…
It’s a relief when Ibuki finally squeals, snapping his attention, “Oooh! Look what I found!” It’s enough to have them all whipping around excitedly. Searching for something that isn’t a complete waste.
They all run as fast as they can to Ibuki’s side, trying to decipher the plain wooden box she’s holding. Excitement quickly building in each and every one of them. However the closer he gets, the more that excitement begins to die away.
Dominoes… Of all the exciting discoveries he was imagining them making, this certainly wasn’t one of them. Why would any of the future foundation members even bring this to a building like this? He gets the feeling Makoto and the others weren’t exactly devoted dominoes players while they were here. At least not to the level of bringing dominoes with them all the way over here.
Trying to hold back his disappointment, he backs up slightly from the rest of the group. His shoulders sagging a little as he holds his head a bit lower. It’s his fault really for getting so excited at what Ibuki was saying. This wasn’t hard to see coming at all.
But from out here he can see the others expressions fall as they slowly realise what the big discovery was. Thankfully Ibuki is about the only person who doesn’t notice as she’s smugly smiling with her eyes closed. Pride oozing off of every inch of her.
Only one person seems completely lost at the whole situation.
“What is it?” Gundham leans forward until his nose is almost pressed fully against the sleek wooden box. Without even asking for permission he pulls it from her hands and turns it over slowly. Examining it from every side as if it’s suddenly going to sprout wings or something.
That’s all that’s needed for Ibuki to open her eyes, mouth hanging open at Gundham’s words, “Its a game, duhhhhh! Did you grow up at the bottom of the sea!” She looks over at Hajime, Sonia, and Nekomaru for back up. Relying on them to confirm her own sanity.
Normally he might think she’s being a little dramatic but as he pulls off the top and stares at the small pieces, Gundham doesn’t seem to understand any more. Still somehow absolutely lost.
“Ha! I was raised in the deepest pits of hell. Only hell fire and demons remained. I had no need for trivial human appliances like ‘games’!” Gundham spits out the words, holding one of the small plastic pieces up into the light. Examining them for hidden runes or something knowing Gundham. With every turn of the piece, he only frowns harder. Running a finger along the surface tentatively.
It’s not like he ever thought Gundham was normal - you would have to be insane to - but to not have been aware of the game is strange. Just how sheltered was his childhood?
Still not taking his eyes off the piece, he presses the full box into Sonia’s hands. Completely ignoring Ibuki’s outstretched hands.
“Oh, dominoes! I have seen these before. They look most fun!” Nothing he’s heard about dominoes warrants this level of excitement but whatever floats their boat. He’s not going to be the one to tell them to stop getting excited. If it makes them happy then that’s all that matters.
“I didn’t realise people still used dominoes, they’re quite an old choice.” Nekomaru mumbles more to himself than anyone else. That was the same impression he got though.
“Probably not the most exciting of games you could get.” He mutters as he spots an entire stack of game boxes on the very same shelves she had found the dominoes on. Cluedo. Monopoly. Scrabble. Risk. An entire selection of far more interesting games and this is the one Ibuki decided to show them. It makes no sense whatsoever.
“I don’t understand. What do you do with these contraptions.” Gundham takes another piece from the box Sonia is diligently holding, trying to pieces the parts together like a puzzle but getting nowhere fast.
“Its pretty simple, come over here.” He clears his throat and beckons everyone over to the coffee table in the middle of the room. They all hunch around as Sonia sets the box down into front of Hajime. Letting him take the reins, “In the actual game you match the numbers with each other to make a line, like this.”
He takes a handful of the tiles from the box and begins to quickly lay them out. The entire time he can feel everyone watching his every movement but he keeps on going as if he hadn’t noticed at all.
It only takes a few seconds to set all the dominoes out into a little line, all the numbers matching up nicely. It’s not perfect but it’s decent enough to demonstrate the basics.
“See. It’s simple.” He waves a hand over the tiles, “But when you play properly you take it in turns to put pieces down and the first one to finish wins.” It’s not like it’s the most complicated of games. Even if you had never seen the game before it only takes a few seconds to get the general idea.
“Hmmmm, this is too trivial a game to be worth any time.” Gundham huffs, turning up his nose at the concept just as Hajime expected. It’s not exactly the kind of riveting game play he would expect Gundham of all people to be drawn to.
Ibuki doesn’t seem to feel the same way though. She sticks out her bottom lip as far as it can go and huffs with her arms crossed, “Buttttttt Haji is missing the best part.” She gently nudges Hajime aside before sitting each domino upright as carefully as she can. The entire time she holds her breath, so scared to knock them over before it’s ready. Only when they’re all perfectly lined up does she dare take a breath, “When you line them up you can make them fall onto each other like bam clash boom!”
With that she delicately knocks over the first domino and sits back grinning to herself. One by one they knock into each other, creating a perfect little line laid out on the table. The entire time Ibuki is beaming proudly, puffing up her chest as if she had just solved world hunger. Nevertheless he claps along with everyone else, not wanting to be a complete party pooper.
“I see! Like a chain reaction of disaster!” Gundham is grinning now, his teeth glinting a little too much considering they’re just knocking pieces of plastic into each other.
“That’s one way to say it.” An involuntary laugh bubbles from his chest. Leave it to Gundham to frame it that way.
Gathering up the pieces and hurriedly shoving them into the box, Sonia excitedly announces her big idea, “We should make a long domino run together!”
“What, here and now?” He raises an eyebrow and passes a skeptical look along to Nekomaru. But the other man is smiling almost as much as Gundham and Ibuki.
Is he just missing something? Are dominoes more exciting than he was giving them credit for or something?
“Why not?” Sonia gives him her best puppy dog eyes, clinging onto the box of dominoes even tighter, “Much like Gundham, I have never gotten the chance to play with such things and Ibuki makes it look so exciting!”
“If that’s what you call exciting.”
But regardless of his attempts, he is powerless when faced with puppy dog eyes. There is nothing he can do but join in on their little scheme. Ferreting out another two boxes of dominoes from the cupboard, they start getting to work.
“It should go from here to all the way over there!” Ibuki excitedly points at one of the shelves in the far corner of the room and wiggles her finger around the room in an invisible pattern before pointing towards the door that leads out of the room.
“Oh! It should go all the way down the hall.” Sonia’s eyes light up with all the grand plans which are now rushing through her head.
It might be a little ambitious considering the number of tiles they have but he holds his tongue. They’ll just find out how far they can get soon enough. And he would be lying if he said he wasn’t at least slightly interested to see how far they could take this.
Working with Gundham he begins to clear off the shelf that Ibuki has deemed to be the perfect staring place. It doesn’t take long to carefully finish setting up the tiles on the shelf but the ones on the floor are a different story.
“Noooo! You gotta watch where you’re going!” Ibuki gasps, playfully shoving Nekomaru away as he yet again accidentally steps a little too far backwards, knocking over the tiles Ibuki and Sonia had been painstakingly setting up. You would think after the first three times he would have learnt his lesson but apparently that’s not the case.
“Sorry…” He lowers his head and bites his lip but that isn’t going to help reset all the tiles.
“It’s fine.” Sonia does her best to keep up a positive mindset but there’s only so far that can go.
“No it’s not! We have to restart again!” Ibuki grumbles, pouting the entire time, “You’re gonna help us this time otherwise we’re never going to finish.”
While Ibuki, Nekomaru and Sonia are fumbling over each other trying to gently set up the tiles for a fourth time, him and Gundham are happily working away at the other side of the room. Thankfully their tiles have been unconnected from all the others since Nekomaru was working on the section connecting the two. Its the only thing that has saved their hard work from Nekomaru’s clumsy movements.
Gundham buries his face in his scarf as he works, hiding the way he bites his lips as he focuses. His hands are almost as steady as Hajime’s. Each of his tiles perfectly separated from the next.
“You’re doing really well at that.” He hums quietly to Gundham. Offering him a warm smile.
“Of course. Steady hands are needed for the preparation of spells so it is a necessary skill.” Gundham speaks with his usual bravado but he isn’t quite buried deep enough into his scarf to fully hide the way his cheeks flare with colour.
“That makes sense.” He hums thoughtfully. Assuming he’s referring to the way he handles his animals it does make sense he would need to have a steady hand. Probably more so than almost everyone else here.
“It seems even I, the supreme overlord of ice, is inferior to you though.”
“Yeah well not much we can do about that.” He clears his throat artfully, “Where shall we take this then?”
Behind him he can still hear Sonia, Nekomaru and Ibuki arguing about how to set up their tiles. If they’re all occupied then that means its down to him and Gundham to choose where to take the path now. Sure, they could defer to Ibuki and get her to make her wiggly path once again, but where’s the fun in that? If they’ve been able to keep their tiles standing then they’ve earned the right to choose how it looks.
“Hmmmm…” Gundham ponders for a moment, rocking back on his heels until he’s crouched on the ground. Pulling down his scarf a little so he can dramatically rub his chin, “I know!”
Storming across the room, he find a big open space and stands proudly above it. Hands resting on his hips smugly. Hajime does his best to contain his grin as he follows the man over, waiting for his declaration.
With dramatic flourish he waves a hand over the large spot, “We should make a large casting circle!” He says it like its the most normal thing in the world. At this point Hajime shouldn’t really be surprised about that.
“I see. So do you mean a five point star in a circle?” He mumbles, thinking back to the magic circle he had seen Gundham making in the past.
“Yes, if that’s what makes sense to a mortal like yourself.”
Hmmm…how hard can that be to make? Between the two of them they should be capable of this…right? One of his talents needs to be able to make this easier.
So with overflowing confidence he accepts Gundham’s idea and they get down to work. Completely ignoring the bickering of everyone else in the room. The only things that exist in their world are each other and their tiles.
“No! This wont do! That line is not straight enough! The magic cannot work with such poor craftsmanship.” Gundham huffs, waving a disapproving hand at all his hard work.
He might not be able to get a full birds eye view but he thinks it was looking pretty good. There’s no way it can be that skewed! He quickly looks between his own lines and Gundham’s, trying to identify the differences but they both look almost perfectly straight. No matter how long he looks, he can’t see what Gundham could possibly be referring to.
“Show me how it’s done then.” He folds his arms, stepping back to let Gundham take over.
“Hmph! Step aside.” Gundham tires to brush him aside with the swift movement of his arm. Once he has deemed that Hajime is far enough away, he crouches down over the tiles and gently taps a random assortment of the tiles until they have moved a hairs width to the side, “See. Like this.” He sighs deeply and gestures at the new set up as if it’s completely unrecognisable. If you asked him he would say he almost thinks it looks slightly more out of place now but he knows when to keep his mouth shut.
“I’ll do my best.”
Doing his best to stick to all of Gundham’s requirements, he goes back to working. Gundham practically hovering over his shoulder the entire time. Even though he’s still working on his own lines, he never misses a chance to look up and peer over. Hajime isn’t as bothered by it as he thought he would be though. If anything it’s almost funny how determined he is to have everything perfect. He would never let Gundham know but it’s almost endearing seeing this level of child-like passion wafting off of him.
“We’ve -” Ibuki begins shouting but she almost instantly stops with a loud gasp, “Woah! What did you guys do?!”
Thankfully he just about manages to keep himself from flinching back at the sudden loud noise. Keeping the tiles still perfectly in place and intact.
Peering over his shoulder he notices the rest of the domino rally has been set up. Sonia, Nekomaru and Ibuki now hovering behind them, thankfully standing well clear of their painstakingly set up star.
“It looks beautiful!” Sonia gasps, bending down as far as she dares to examine the neatly set up tiles closer. With every centimeter than she moves, he can feel Gundham stiffening more and more. Tensing loud enough that they can all hear his teeth grinding uncomfortably.
“You people were taking far too long, wasting my precious time with your ceaseless bickering. So me and Hajime created a magic circle to dispel your work.” Gundham huffs. As he does so he moves towards the others, flapping his hands to get them all to back away from their handiwork. Hajime almost breathes a sigh of relief at the sight.
“It’s taking a while but I think it has come out well so far. We just need to finish the circle that will go around it.” He tries to draw out the circle that they’ve just begun working on with a finger. Giving their audience the best explanation he can.
Ibuki gasps, slapping her hands onto her cheeks, “You’re both like domino masters.”
“Keep your distance! We wouldn’t want to have to cast your soul into fiery damnation as a result of your clumsiness setting off the magic circle before the time is right.”
Not wanting to take any chances, Gundham herds them far away from the creation and onto the couches where no one can do any damage. All three of them take seats there without any complaints. Nekomaru even gives them both a little salute as he grins, “I accept your terms!”
From there they simply watch as Gundham and Hajime work in perfect tandem with each other. Well practiced movements allowing them to effortlessly breeze around their art piece. With eyes glued onto the backs of their heads, they do their best to work fast. Sensing the building anticipation brewing behind them - not to mention their own anticipation.
As they get closer and closer to the end, he can feel his own heart rate speeding up. He knows its just a silly little activity but even that knowledge isn’t enough to stop the grin which has risen to his lips. After all this hard work he is just ready to see the fruits of their labour.
It feels surreal when they do finally step back to look upon their finished product. Hours of work sat in front of them in a strange pattern on the floor. With a gentle hand he wipes a small bead of sweat away from his head as he stands up straight.
“Done.” He sighs, grinning from ear to ear. Even Gundham can’t hide his smile completely behind his scarf.
“Come on then, let us stand upon the couch to watch.” Sonia beckons them over with the crook of her finger as she drags Ibuki and Nekomaru up until they’re stood on the cushions.
Doing their best to avoid stepping on a single tile, him and Gundham begin to navigate the delicate maze they have accidentally made. Spinning around wildly in their desperate attempts. In the end they have to cling to the wall, walking on their tiptoes then entire time. Only when they reached the couch and successfully clambered onto it do they finally release the breaths they didn’t realise they were holding.
Sonia instinctively grabs Gundham’s hand as he gets close, pulling him up in one swift motion. Poor Gundham is left reeling, clinging onto Sonia and the back of the couch to stop himself from toppling over.
As soon as they’re both stood up and somewhat stable, he looks around at them all with hands on his hips, “Who’s going to start off the chain?”
Silence. They all stare around at each other waiting for someone to speak up.
He had thought they would all be clammering over each other for the chance but instead they’re all watching each other closely. Waiting for someone, anyone, to jump in. If he had known this was going to be how it went he would have offered himself.
But before he needs to, Ibuki raises her hands as if they’re all still in school. Only answering when Hajime nods her way. Giving her permission, “Nekomaru is good at knocking stuff over! Lets let him do it!”
“What an honour. In that case, let me.” Nekomaru puffs out his chest. A giddy smile lining his lips.
Given the distance between him and the shelf on the other side of the couch, they all have to squish against the back of the couch to give him space to pass by. Forming a little road that he can use. But even then it isn’t quite enough. Hajime finds himself holding his breath once again as Nekomaru wobbles slightly as he squeezes past them. Thankfully Gundham is aware enough to quickly grab onto Nekomaru’s arm, holding him upright before he can fall right on top of the tiles that litter the floor.
Only when he reaches the shelf can they breath easy. But even then he can see Ibuki and Sonia gripping each others hands. Sonia’s lip caught between her teeth as she winces at every movement.
It’s a relief when Nekomaru finally taps the first tile. Frantically flying back so he can fully watch each and every tile fall.
They all watch, transfixed, as the tiles fall over one by one. The pattern they had designed slowly coming into form as the fallen tiles make a thick line behind them. The entire time they have a backing track of Ibuki squealing. It takes everything he has to avoid slamming his hands straight over his ears.
As soon as the last tile falls and the last piece of their ‘magic circle’ is complete, Ibuki begins jumping up and down. Half dragging Sonia along as a result of their joined hands, “Eeeeee! It worked.”
“Wonderful! Such beauty and simplicity. I should weave this into all my spell making.” Gundham smirks, tossing his scarf over his shoulder with a casual flick of his wrist.
Even if he wanted to be a party pooper, he can’t right now, “Ibuki was right, that was more fun than the normal way of playing with them.” It’s not like it was the most revolutionary thing in the world - quite the opposite actually - but there’s no doubt that it was more fun than the traditional way. Was it worth all the work? Looking around at the cheering faces of his friends around him, he doesn’t think he can say anything but yes.
“It was like magic!” Sonia gasps, slowly prying her hand free from Ibuki as she surveys the room, “However now we’ll have to clean them up…”
And just like that the magic is dead. They’re faced with the truth that they need to now deal with all the mess. Hundred of dominoes laying everywhere. Logically he knows it won’t take nearly as long as the set up but that doesn’t make him feel better in the slightest.
“Ughhhh, that ruins the moment…” Nekomaru groans, hopping down off the couch sadly. The side of his foot brushing a few of the dominoes to the side.
“My apologies…”
There’s no point in Sonia apologising though. As much as they might not have wanted to think about it, she isn’t exactly wrong. Picking themselves up by their bootstraps, they shove aside their disappointment and spread out around the room. Slowly gathering up the rogue pieces.
While him, Sonia, Nekomaru and Gundham go for the tried and true method of picking up each one and neatly slotting them into the boxes, Ibuki has a little bit of a different approach. Sweeping up swathes of tiles in her arms and dumping them haphazardly into the boxes. Mess overflowing from each of the boxes, not that she appears to have noticed in the slightest.
But regardless of the approaches, they eventually manage to get all of the dominoes back. Some slightly less neatly than others. As long as its in he couldn’t care less though.
Dusting off his hands, he looks around the room sighing, “We should probably get going now then.”
Ibuki’s hands drop to her side instantly. Her mouth falling open, “Awww, but I wanted to make another cool one. This time we could make one shaped like a guitar.”
“Ibuki -”
“You don’t like guitars? What about drums then?” She perks up hopefully even though there’s no doubt in his mind that she knows exactly what he means.
“That’s not what I mean. I was just meaning we said we’d explore right. We should probably try and look at the other floors before the end of today. Especially if we still need to be back in time to eat with everyone else.” As fun as it is sitting here making fun little patterns, he gets the feeling they probably should try to do something productive. God knows how many hours they’ve already wasted here setting up their first little domino rally.
Much to his relief, it isn’t just him feeling this way, “Hajime has a point. Playing with dominoes might not be the most productive use of our time.” Sonia mumbles, looking down at the dominoes wistfully.
“Ughhhhh, fineee. You’re right…”
They’re acting like they’re never going to be able to use them again. As if they aren’t just beneath their own rooms in the very same building. Count on these guys to be dramatic.
“Don’t fret. We will not abandon these small trinkets. We can bring them with us and put them to use for our schemes when we go back to our home base.” Gundham snatches the boxes from everyone’s hands and stacks them up in his arms. Holding them like a precious prize. Cradling them protectively.
“That sounds like a great plan.” Nekomaru claps Gundham’s back, almost sending the other man flying but it’s enough to make Ibuki smile so that’s all that matters.
With everyone on board, he gives the room one last look over and beckons everyone forwards, “Come on then.”
Together they stumble out of the room and begin heading upstairs. Heads held high. They might not have found much on the floor but that doesn’t mean it was pointless. It’s times like this when he’s able to let himself pretend that nothing outside these walls exists and they can just be themselves once more.
Much to his surprise, instead of walking with Sonia, Gundham shuffles to his side. Slinking along beside Hajime. He doesn’t say a word, keeping his face buried in his scarf the entire time, but that doesn’t stop Hajime from smiling softly. Their footsteps falling into sync with each other as they hurry up the stairs. The stairwell just about wide enough for him and Gundham to walk without bashing into each other. Not quite big enough for Nekomaru to stand side by side with Ibuki and Sonia though.
Even when they get onto the third floor Gundham stays right at his side. Peering around to check out the hallway for any danger before proceeding onwards. Acting like their scout he stare into each and every room. Looking about like a diligent meerkat rather than the dangerous warlock he would like to present himself as.
However, the further they move down the hallway, the more they start to notice the soft sound of chatter emanating from down the hall. Cautiously he holds a hand out in front of Gundham. Trying to make a barrier. It takes a little too long for him to notice as he slams into Hajime’s hand. Flinching back at the sudden contact but still drawing to a stop. Before Gundham can ask what’s going on, Hajime presses a finger to his lips. Shushing the other man as loudly as he dares to.
Even though they had been given more warning than Gundham, Sonia, and Ibuki still slam into their backs. Too busy with their own chatter to even notice the sudden stop. However much to his relief the finger to his lips is all the information they need before the zip their mouth’s shut. Standing tensely in the middle of the corridor. Poor Nekomaru hunched over awkwardly, eyes wide waiting to figure out what’s going on.
Not saying a word, Hajime shuffles over to the side of the wall and beckons everyone along. They all crouch down, stumbling along almost on their knees through the halls. The entire time they’re hugging the wall.
They’re still too far away to fully make out the voices. However given they’re in this place the only people here other than their own friends should be the doctors. After all, they do have to be staying somewhere. However he’s not sure they should be taking that risk. What if there is something else going on they’re not aware of? No, they should definitely just make sure they’re certain before they do anything they regret.
Bit by bit they get closer and closer to the source of the noise. Light filtering out from an open door into the hallway. There’s no doubt that that’s where the noise is coming from. Staying hunched over he takes a very short glance into the room.
Sure enough the doctors are sat inside the room, gathered around the dining table. From the short glance it looks like it’s laid out exactly the same as their own common room. Just like how it was on the floor below where Makoto and the others slept.
“Woah! This is where the doctors are all sleep-” He clamps a hand over Ibuki’s mouth as fast as possible.
“Quiet.” He quietly hisses into her ear, waiting for her silent nod before he finally removes his hand from her mouth.
Thankfully the doctors don’t seem to have heard them. Or if they did they’re simply doing their best to ignore the lot of them. Still trying to make the most of their day free from the hassle of having to deal with the lot of them.
Not wanting to make a sound, he simply beckons them forward with a finger when he sees the coast is clear. All five of them loudly scurrying down the hall in front of the door at once. The sound of their clothes rustling far too loud for any kind of stealth mission. He finds himself wincing painfully with every movement but it’s too late now. They’ve committed.
It’s a relief when they’ve finally all passed the doorway. However he doesn’t dare stand up or say a word even one they’re passed. Instead he keeps leading them forwards until they find an empty room, slipping inside. Nekomaru quietly closes the door behind them, letting them all take in a deep breath.
“That was close…” Sonia sighs, hunching over with her hands pressed onto her legs, “I thought they were definitely going to see us…”
“I’m pretty sure they heard us still…unless they’re all deaf.” He mutters, still wincing to himself, “I doubt they’re going to talk to us though. If they wanted to talk to us they probably would have called us out there and then.”
“That’s probably good then…right?” Ibuki asks, giving them all a hopeful smile.
“Yeah, I think so.” It’s not like they even needed to hide really in the first place. According to Makoto they’re allowed wherever so that should include up here. Well if they’re allowed outside onto the coastline then there’s no way this would be where they draw the line.
He’s just relieved they didn’t actually need to talk to the doctors. If they’re willing to stay here and help them then they probably aren’t bad people but that doesn’t mean he likes them. It’s not like they’ve been the most welcoming people since arriving here.
“Nevertheless they should be no obstacle for the rest of our investigation. If they know what is good for them then they will remain in their abode where it is safe and secure.”
“Yeah…hopefully.” He sighs, his shoulders slumping slightly, “Come on then. Let’s look around.”
Still moving as stealthily as they can, they all crouch over and begin to patrol the halls. Making themselves as small as possible as if that’s going to make any difference. Leading the way, he guides them through the halls, sticking their heads into each of the rooms as they pass.
The longer they go on, the harder and harder it is to remain optimistic about finding anything useful though. That’s why he’s almost taken aback when they accidentally stumble into a room stocked full of cardboard boxes. Shelves upon shelves upon shelves line the walls and on them are a seemingly unending supply of boxes. It’s like stumbling upon an oasis amongst the hot desert sand.
“What are they sealing away here…?” Gundham grumbles as he squeezes in past Hajime. Removing his head from his scarf long enough to gawk at the towers surrounding them.
“Looks like supplies if you ask me.” Nekomaru hums, scratching at his nose nonchalantly.
It’s hard to make out anything about the boxes from here. Each one is sealed up tightly and there are no labels written on any of them. Just plain brown boxes as far as the eye can see. They could all just be empty for all they know.
“What would they need supplies for?” Sonia examines the room wide eyed. Drinking in the sights for as long as she dares.
However her trance is broken by a short sharp jolt from Ibuki, “They were providing us with food. Ibuki thinks this is where they must be hiding it!”
“You might be right…” Hajime mutters, moving in closer to the boxes. Curiosity piqued he tries to peek into the nearest one, tearing away the brown tape sealing it off.
Ibuki does make a good point. If they were staying here they must have been keeping a good supply of food. He highly doubts they were bringing in new shipments every other week.
However when he pulls the flaps back he’s greeted by a sight he hadn’t been expecting.
“School uniforms?” He lifts one up out of the box. Holding it up as if to prove he’s not lost his mind to the others.
It doesn’t even take him a second to recognise the logo. Hope’s Peak etched onto the soft brown fabric. The sight is enough to send a shiver down his spine.
Ibuki fakes a retching sound as she doubles over, “I’m not wearing that! All my pretty clothes are burnt and only this is left.”
But ignoring Ibuki, Sonia rushes over to his side. Grabbing a blazer for herself as if to confirm they’re real and not a figment of her imagination. Finger gently brushing over the fabric, “Why do they have these?”
“Well the future foundation is made up of old Hope’s Peak staff and students. I suppose these are a relic of that time.” He hums as he unceremoniously drops it back into the box.
Regardless of why they’re here, Ibuki was right about one thing. They’re not going to be wearing these. They might actually be worse than the plain white t-shirts and black joggers. If such a thing is even possible.
“This feels like an ominous omen.” Gundham sneers.
“It’s just a uniform.” Nekomaru sighs from deep inside his soul. Grumbling he walks over to Sonia and Hajime and pulls the blazer from Sonia’s hands. Sealing the box back up immediately, “Lets see if they have anything more worthwhile.”
None of them have any argument against that. How could they?
Spreading out once more, they move around the room, tearing open boxes left and right. He hates to think about what the next person to come in here is going to think. The once neatly stacked boxes are now all ripped open. Some of the content sprayed across the floor and tape scattered everywhere. It looks like a bomb has gone off but not one of them makes an effort to clean up. They’re all too swept up in their bounties.
The first few boxes at the front of the room were filled with uniforms. But as they moved further in they started to find dried and canned food - mostly pasta and tinned tomatoes though which dampens the excitement slightly. Then they begin finding boxes upon boxes of office supplies. Paper, ink, pens and even guillotines all stacked away neatly. Then they come across the boxes of mechanical parts. Pieces of metal, spare buttons, motherboards. Everything you could need to build something. Even screws and nuts can be found amongst the boxes. Three guesses what those were for…
The most exciting thing though was -
“Look!” Sonia shouts at the top of her lungs. Any attempt at hiding their presence from the doctors now completely gone, “I have found something most exciting!”
That’s all they need to hear to come running. All of them gathering around as Sonia begins pulling boxes upon boxes off the racks. Tension slowly building with each one that comes off the shelves.
“What is it?! Show us you infernal woman!” Gundham growls as she carries the fifth one off the shelf. Still not showing them a single thing.
“Fine fine…” She pouts a little but still yanks open the box. Letting them all push and shove each other to try and get the slightest look in.
“Wait…” He mumbles, staring down.
“Clothes!!” Ibuki’s squeal is almost deafening but they all look down. Completely transfixed.
When they had first floated the idea he assumed it would be a pipe dream but sure enough the boxes are stuffed full of clothes. Each one a different colour size and style. He’s not too sure he wants to know where they all came from but he’s never been more grateful.
Like a pack of wild dogs they descend upon the box. Pulling. Tearing. Desperately yanking at any fabric they can. Sonia merely watches with an amused grin as they hold each piece up to examine it.
It’s far from high fashion. Jeans, shirts, a few colourful t-shirts. There are even a few dresses and jumpsuits which at least provide a little diversity. But even if it’s nothing special it’s a far cry from what they currently have. At this point their standards are on the floor.
“We need to bring these to everyone else.” Nekomaru announces with his hands on his hips. Surveying their finds with an appreciative gaze.
Sweeping everything up, they stuff their finds back into the boxes. Stuffing them full until the clothes are almost busting out of the boxes. Working together they do their best to carry the boxes. Splitting the work out between them. Even if they find nothing else of use from the rest of the searching their mood refuses to be dampened. They’ve found something useful so that will have to do.
Chapter 36: 30th of May
Summary:
They try to keep themselves entertained with board games
Chapter Text
30/05 - 05:22
Leaning back into the couch, he smiles out at the chaos surrounding him. He had woken up at the crack of dawn but somehow he still wasn’t the first one up. Ibuki and Gundham were already out in the middle of the communal area. Surrounded by a sea of dominoes. Apparently yesterday hadn’t been enough.
They’re both already changed out of their pajama’s and into their new clothes even at this time of day. Not that he can say anything as he sits there in a black and white band t-shirt (for a band he doesn’t even recognise) and jeans. The logo of the t-shirt peeling away so only a few loose scraps remain here and there.
However while his outfit is casual, Ibuki and Gundham are less so. They hadn’t been able to find anything Ibuki thought ‘expressed her soul’ but she did manage to grab some baggy ripped jeans that she’s now wearing on top of some neon yellow fish net tights. She also snagged a neon tie dye shirt which is somehow exactly her vibe and not at all her vibe at exactly the same time. With the dyed sections of her hair fading the shirt just about makes up for the lost of colours.
Even Gundham hadn’t been able to fully avoid colour. Although he had managed to wrangle the blackest skinny jeans Hajime has ever seen, the t-shirt was quite another story. The closest to a black t-shirt that he could get his hands on was a baggy black t-shirt with a neon pink cat print across the front. Yet Gundham didn’t seem that bothered. Even sweeping his scarf over his shoulder to fully display the image for all to see. That combined with how his hair flops down in front of his face makes him almost look like an entirely different person now. Somehow…softer. Maybe the fact he’s stood here making a dominoes rally is playing a part in that.
As the two of them work, he lets himself sink into the world of the book he’s clutching in his hand. He doesn’t even know why he picked it. It was simply the first book his hand stumbled upon on the shelf in his dazed state. It’s some kind of cheesy romance book. The sort of book he shouldn’t be enjoying as much as he is. Not that he would ever admit it.
Considering he had woken up drenched in sweat yet again this morning it’s a refreshingly peaceful morning. He can almost pretend the nightmares never happened.
For a few hours it’s just the three of them but as the hours pass and day breaks more and more people begin inching out of their cocoons. The first one being Kazuichi as he stumbles out in his joggers and pajama shirt. Hair still messy and sleep still sitting in the corners of his eyes.
“I can’t believe you’re still playing with dominoes.” Kazuichi sighs, rubbing his face as he wanders in.
“We do not concern ourselves with the opinions of people like you.” Gundham sneers, burying his face in his scarf once more.
Hajime tucks his legs up onto the couch as Ibuki barrels past, setting tiles down as she goes past. He’s almost certain that there’s no way they’re going to be close enough to knock into each other but he doesn’t bother saying a thing. She’ll figure it out sooner or later… Hopefully sooner rather than later.
“Move along.” Kazuichi gently nudges him as he vaults over the side of the couch to snuggle in at Hajime’s side.
Without needing to taker a second to think, he shuffles over to make room, letting Kazuichi squeeze in at his side. For a moment the couch shakes from the sudden movement but thankfully it settles without knocking any of the tiles aside.
Together they lean back and watch Gundham and Ibuki get to work. No matter how long he stares, he has yet to figure out what the pattern is meant to be. And if he can’t figure it out, he highly doubts Gundham or Ibuki have any clue what they’re doing either.
“How long have they been doing this?” Kazuichi mutters to Hajime. Keeping his voice as low as possible.
“At least two hours since I’ve been here.”
“And this is as far as they’ve gotten?” Kazuichi raises an eyebrow.
He winces at the words almost instantly, “There have been a few…restarts.”
He can’t help but feel bad for Gundham. While he might have some of the steadiest hands Hajime has ever seen, the same can’t be said for his partner. Quite the opposite in fact. She might have chastised Nekomaru non-stop yesterday but she’s proven herself to be just as bad. If not worse.
“How long do you think they’ll be doing this?”
“Honestly,” He sighs and shakes his head slowly, “It could be all day.”
It’s like they’re lost in their own world. Drifting about the room with glazed over eyes. It’s a miracle they haven’t knocked into each other yet really. If nothing else they can count that as a win.
“It’s going to be a long day then.”
Long is definitely one word to describe it. Within minutes Kazuichi and Hajime are effectively stranded on the couch. All the floor around them being swallowed up into the mass of plastic tiles. He doubts even he could find a way off this couch without destroying all of their hard work.
Neither him nor Kazuichi mind all that much. They hunker down, settling in for the long haul. With his book to keep him occupied he barely even notices the time passing. The only things punctuating his little bubble being the click clack of tiles being set (and then knocking into each other seconds later) and the soft metallic sound of Kazuichi tinkering away at what seems to be an alarm clock.
Considering the time of day it’s almost peaceful. At least when Gundham and Ibuki aren’t swearing to high heavens. However as time creeps by, more and more drowsy faces filter in. Some people rubbing their eyes. Others still in pajama’s with obvious bed hair. Yet even then its’s an oddly domestic sight when he does take the time to peek out from over his book.
However trapped from over here he can do nothing as people descend upon the kitchen. Kazuma allowing Sonia to get far too involved in the preparation of breakfast. For once he can’t fault Teruteru and Akane as their faces pale at the smells wafting from the kitchen. Nevertheless there’s nothing he can do to help. He simply grits his teeth and tries to go back to focusing on his book. Hopefully it taste better than it smells.
Still unable to leave their spots, Kazuma and Nekomaru carefully lean over the great sea awkwardly to hand them their bowls of what he thinks is supposed to be porridge. Who knew you could make it even more unappealing than it already was? He has no idea why it’s a deep red colour but he figures its probably best if he doesn’t ask…
Nekomaru doesn’t even let Ibuki or Gundham get away with skipping the meal. Even though they’re stuck in the middle of their own mess he glares them both down until they’ve finished every last scrap of the meal. It turns out Gundham still wasn’t as pale as he could be, by the end of the meal he might as well be as white as a sheet.
Nevertheless they all give the ‘chef’ their thanks. He has no idea of Sonia just has a different set of taste buds to the rest of them but she accepts the compliments without even thinking twice.
“Th-thanks….that was d-delicious.” Tears are welling up in Mikan’s eyes but she chokes out the words anyway.
“It was certainly something.” Kazuichi leans in to whisper in Hajime’s ear. Unfortunately Sonia is just a little too close, “Ouch!” His hands fly up to cradle his head where she had hit him.
“Serves you right.” Sonia holds her nose up in the air. Staring with sharp eyes, looking down her nose at them both. The image of the ruthless queen he had once known overwriting the softer version of Sonia he has quickly grown accustomed to.
Leave it to Kazuichi to drag him into this mess…
Thankfully he still manages to avoid getting a smack from her. And even more importantly, he avoids needing to wash up for once. The perks of being stranded a few meters away from any water source. Instead Kazuma drags Nekomaru and Nagito over to the sink, making a little production line for cleaning as everyone else wipes down the tables. In a few minutes everything has been neatly cleaned up like a well oiled machine. It does make him wonder where this efficiency was when he was almost single handedly cleaning up the last few ‘parties’.
As soon as they’re all finished everyone slumps down on the chairs that surround the dining table. Even Kazuichi and Hajime do their best to turn around on the couch so they’re facing everyone else. Doing all they can to ignore Gundham and Ibuki as they continue working. Gundham still clutching his stomach the entire time. Hajime only hopes he makes sure to go the bathroom if he needs to make any unsolicited drop offs.
Slouching down on the table with her head on her arms, Hiyoko begins to mumble, “Okay, so how long are they going to be doing that?” She doesn’t even bother lifting her head to speak so the words come out muffled but at least he can get the general idea of what she’s supposed to be saying.
“Until they finish I suppose.” Hajime sighs, resting his head on the back of the couch.
If you had asked him a few hours ago he would have said an hour or two but given the amount of times they’ve already needed to restart he’s not so sure. It could be anywhere between another hour and infinity. The only thing he knows is that the steely look on Gundham’s face refuses to leave before they’ve finished the damn thing.
“Ha ha ha. You’re so funny.” Hiyoko rolls her eyes. Deigning to lift her head just for that single act before dropping her head back down onto her arms.
“I th-think it l-looks great.” Mikan gives a weak smile but Hiyoko just tuts. Gritting her teeth as she actively turns her head even further away from Mikan until she’s bent at an awkward angle.
They’re all a little too aware of the movement. Tension thick and heavy in the air. Flashes of the last few interactions flick through their minds but thankfully Hiyoko just buries her face deeper into the crook of her arm. Mahiru’s gentle hand rubbing her back soothingly.
Clearing their throat, Kazuma shuffles awkwardly in their seat, “Maybe we should do something all together while we wait for Ibuki and Gundham to finish.”
“Somethin’? Like what?” Akane raises her eyebrows. Leaning back in her chair until the front legs lift off the ground. Letting her swing precariously.
“We did see a few different games down stairs. We could play a game on the table until we can use the rest of the room.” Nekomaru jumps in as if the thought had already been on the tip of his tongue before Kazuma had even brought it up.
Looking at Ibuki and Gundham working on the dominoes does make it hard not to think about all the other games. They’d left the rest of them downstairs, only choosing to bring the dominoes with them. And judging by the incredulous looks from everyone around them, he’s not the only one who thinks it was crazy to only bring the dominoes.
“Like a board game?” Mahiru cocks her head to one side. Her hand that’s still resting on Hiyoko stopping momentarily.
That short stop is all that’s needed for Hiyoko to shoot up in her chair. Mahiru’s hand being knocked down until it’s completely dislodged from Hiyoko’s back. She’s still grinding her teeth but she can still just about hiss out, “Boringggg. We’re going back to our rooms. Come on Mahiru.”
Not waiting for Mahiru’s response she stands up in one smooth movement. Gripping Mahiru’s sleeve, she drags the other girl behind her. Seemingly all the uncertainty about their friendship from the other day completely gone now. She doesn’t even look back at everyone else as she storms off like she’s still a toddler. Mahiru is merely dragged along for the ride.
“Okay.” Mahiru gives them the tiniest wave as she is dragged away. Succumbing to her inevitable fate.
He hadn’t really expected them to stick around for a game session - it’s a miracle they even got her to come down with them and participate in the burning after all. No, they should just take what they can get at this point. Besides, looking around at the sheer number of people they have, it might be a few too many for most games anyway. Even if they do remove Ibuki and Gundham as well as Kazuichi and himself who won’t be able to escape to play (karma he supposes for not needing to cook or clean up) there still might be too many.
He’s so caught up in his own thoughts he almost doesn’t notice Nagito slipping off down the corridor until Fuyuhiko lazily calls out after him, “Nagito? Where are you going?” Fuyuhiko drawls, eyes not even looking Nagito’s way as he slumps down on the table.
Nagito grinds to a halt, shooting them an awkward smile over his shoulder as he scratches at his neck innocently, “Ah sorry. You don’t want me playing a game. You remember how that goes.”
Is he even trying to hide the way he’s lying or has he just lost all his lying skills all of a sudden? At this point he’s not sure which one would be less realistic.
“We do not mind playing with you. It will be most fun!” Sonia gives it her peppiest smile but it’s nowhere near enough. Nagito just waves her off with easy. Not even considering it for a moment.
“It’s okay. I wanted to finish my book anyway.” The excuse falls off his lips with ease.
A shot of uncertainty aches through his gut. This all feels wrong. Is it still related to what happened the other day? He has barely even seen Nagito since their late night chat a few days ago. He hasn’t sat next to - or anywhere near - Hajime since then, let alone looked his way. And now he’s running off again. He can’t help but worry. Maybe that’s his problem though. Maybe he just needs to give the other man some space to sort through his feelings.
Sensing the tides as Nagito vanishes down the hallway, Teruteru tries to get up and make his break away. Slipping up out of his chair with a ‘casual’ stretch. He doesn’t even bother tucking his chair in as he starts to flee, “I should -”
He doesn’t even manage to make it five steps before Akane has latched onto him. Her bony fingers curling around his wrist, keeping him anchored down, “C’mere.”
“Hey!”
He does his best to fight back but even with Akane like this, he’s no match for her. She’s able to drag him back into his chair with a single arm. Barely even flexing her muscles. They might as well strap the poor guy down. It would be more honest at least.
“We’re sittin’ down.” Akane growls Teruteru’s way and he instantly relents. Sinking deeper into his chair and letting the tension drift off of his muscles. Succumbing at the slightest bit of resistance.
Ibuki freezes, standing up straight and abandoning her tiles. Her head spins from side to side, as she takes in the sight of everyone else gathering around. Everyone except the four of them. He can practically hear her thoughts screaming out across the room. Her hungry eyes drinking in the sight of the activity she’s being left out of.
As everyone else starts muttering about who’s going to grab the games, her bottom lip begins to wobble. Her over dramatic pout consuming her face, “Hey waittttt?! Are you leaving Ibuki and Gundham out of this?! What if we want to participate?!” She crosses her arms which only adds the the overall tantrum.
“We’re just playing until you guys finish and we can use the rest of the room.” Nekomaru begins to explain as if that’s going to make Ibuki feel any better.
Looking around at the mess surrounding her, her pout only grows. It’s even more obvious than ever that they are nowhere near finishing. An endless amount of work left to do.
He sees it all happen before it actually transpires. A wicked grin lights up her features. She might as well be an open book.
“Ibuki -!” Gundham calls out, reaching towards her as if he’ll be able to avert the inevitable. It’s a lost cause though.
No one can stop her in time. With a sly wink she gently taps the nearest tile with her foot. Chaos descends at one. Poor Gundham is frozen in place. Watching everything he had built fall apart just like that. Hours of work tumbling down in front of his eyes. All he can do is stand there with his mouth agape. Nothing more than a statue.
“We finished!” She cheers, completely ignoring Gundham’s bulging veins, “See now we can play with everyone else!” Her grin looks so innocent. He hadn’t just seen her with his own eyes he might not even believe it.
Joyfully skipping, she darts over the mess that now litters the floor to grab a seat at the table. Oblivious to the wide eyes all staring at her around the table.
Sighing deeply, he walks over to Gundham’s side. Avoiding any further anguish by stepping between the tiles as much as possible. Rubbing a hand on the mans back he tries to gently coax him back to their plane of existence.
“One day…one day…” Gundham’s face turns a startling shade of red as he hisses through his teeth. Forcing out each and every word with a due level of spite.
Even so Hajime is able to pull him away from the tattered remains of his work, pulling him down into one of the chairs between himself and Kazuichi. Supporting him from either side - at least in spirit anyway.
Everyone offers the grieving boy some consolatory nods and smiles but Gundham doesn’t appear to notice in the slightest. If he does then he certainly doesn’t acknowledge it at least.
The first one to recover is Nekomaru who pushes up from his chair and takes a commanding position at the head of the table. Hunching over with his body weight supported by his fist, “Well if Ibuki is free now she can help me carry the games up here.”
Even though the dominoes, which were the reason for all this in the first place, were gone the plan apparently wasn’t. Not that he’s going to complain. It might not be the most exciting thing in the world but it’s still something to do. Not to mention Alter Ego’s words that still ring heavy in his mind.
“Okie dokie!” Ibuki sings cheerfully, hopping right back up without a second thought.
And that’s that. No one lifts a finger to stop either of them.
“It’ll be fine. You can make another one.” Kazuichi hums as he rubs Gundham’s back. Making small circles in a rhythmic way.
“I wouldn’t expect you to understand.” Gundham hisses sourly. But even so he doesn’t shy away from Kazuichi’s touch. Instead sinking into it as he lays down on the table dramatically.
“C’mon, games are gonna be way more fun than that rubbish.” Akane offers a crooked grin but all she gets in return is a sour glare.
After that no one else bothers saying a thing. Leaving Gundham to his misery.
As they wait a few people get up to gather the carcasses of the dominoes. Stuffing them into the boxes slightly more ceremoniously than the rest of them had yesterday.
By the time Nekomaru and Ibuki get back everything is spick and span. Probably nicer than it had been before Ibuki and Gundham began working - not that Ibuki or Nekomaru even give the room a second look. They’re too busy shaking their bounty enthusiastically. Both of their arms are as full as they can be. Ibuki can’t even see where she’s going past the gigantic stack. Her head craning up until it’s almost vertical. Her chin pressed up against the sides of the boxes.
“We come bearing gifts.” She still skips about cheerily before dumping the stack on the table. The assortment splay across the table top, laying across each other at awkward angles.
“Wow, they really do have a lot…” Fuyuhiko whistles leaning back in his chair, “I know you said there were a lot to carry for one person but I wasn’t expecting this.”
Peko tentatively reaches forward, looking over each of the boxes one by one. Deciphering what each of the games are supposed to be. Her brow furrowed and her nose wrinkled the entire time.
“Which one shall we play?” He hums as his eyes roam over the boxes. His brain tries to jump ahead, doing it’s best to predict what one is going to be chosen. Taking in each of their faces and adding it to the bank of data.
“Ooooh, what about Monopoly! That’s the cats knees!” Ibuki shakes the box as if it’s nothing more than an over sized maraca. All the pieces rattling around like crazy.
“This seems like a bad idea…” Kazuichi mutters but he does nothing to stop them.
How bad can a board game really be?
Famous last words apparently.
There are too many of them to all play the same game so Sonia quickly sorts them out into teams. Him and Kazuichi quickly claim a prime position in front of the board. Kazuichi darting in to grab them the dog piece before anyone else can react.
At his side are Sonia and Gundham. The pair of them claiming the thimble cauldron and setting it right down next to the dog. Akane practically shoves Nekomaru aside as she tries to claim the shoe for herself and Teruteru - he has yet to figure out why she thinks she’s going to have any competition over that one…
Instead Nekomaru and Kazuma end up with the ship as Ibuki and Mikan grab the top hat. Kazuichi doesn’t find it as amusing as Hajime when they try to place the hat on top of their dog piece though. In the end only Fuyuhiko and Peko are left. The two slyly grabbing the car and setting it alongside all the others.
“There we go!” Ibuki rubs her hands together before darting in to grab the dice, “Ibuki needs all the luck she can get.”
Unfortunately, it seems luck isn’t on her side. In fact, luck only seems to be swinging one way today.
“Sorry, it’s a double six so we go first.” Kazuichi puffs out his chest. A snooty expression written across every inch of his face.
“Ughhh I thought we would be fine because Nagito wasn’t here.” Nekomaru grumbles, head hanging low.
“We forgot about Hajime’s cursed fate. His luck will be the demise of all…” Gundham’s hiss doesn’t make him feel any better.
He wasn’t wrong though. It’s a bloodbath. Maybe he should be feeling bad but it’s hard to when victory feels this good. There will be no prisoners taken today - certainly not while Kazuichi is on his team at least.
“I have a ho-”
“We.” Kazuichi sniffles, turning his head and crossing his arms.
“We have a hotel there so that’s 4000.” He holds a hand out towards Mikan expectantly.
“Ughhhhh! You’re bleeding us dry!” Ibuki hisses through gritted teeth. Seething as she pulls at her hair with clenched fists.
“S-sorry.” Mikan weeps as she hands over the money. Tears streaming down her reddened face.
Another property mortgaged… At this rate they’re going to be bankrupt before they even get around the board another time. Normally he would be incredibly apologetic for making poor Mikan cry but after the frantic way she launches the dice into the air each time he can’t bring himself to. She’ll get over it…he hopes.
“It really is like playing with Nagito again…” Peko mumbles, leaning back further into her chair. Juggling the dice in one hand after sliding it off the table in front of Mikan.
“I guess it makes sense he would be a pain to play with in games like these.” He snorts slightly.
While he might be having good luck, he’s starting to think Mikan is just the ultimate bad luck. Whenever she’s the one rolling she lands on a tax square or someone else’s property. And not just the small ones - always the ones that hit where it hurts. He had no idea it was even possible for someone other than Nagito to be that unlucky. And each and every time she lands on one of them she squeals as loud as she can. Her hands shaking to no end.
“You wouldn’t believe.” Fuyuhiko sighs rubbing his forehead, “None of us were ever able to beat Nagito in any games…”
“Eight…” Peko mumbles once the dice clack to a stop. Softly tapping their little car on each square.
Unlike Mikan they have been lucky enough to slip by unscathed most of the way. Nothing more than a little pocket change disappearing here and there. Sure enough even now they’ve managed to skip past Sonia and Gundham’s little road of houses to stop by the prison. Their little car staring through the bars at the small shoe which might as well have started renting a cell in the prison at this point.
“This ain’t fair.” Akane scowls, “You dudes must be cheating!” She throws her head back with a groan. Craning her neck so far back over the back of the chair that she’s staring at the wall behind her.
“We might as well give up…” Teruteru sighs.
Peko does her best to slide the dice over to him but he just pushes it right past him towards Akane. Jabbing her stomach with his elbow grouchily. She doubles over, clutching at her stomach but still manages to weakly throw the dice across the table. Almost throwing it straight into Gundham. Thankfully his reflexes are decent enough as he reacts quick enough to bat the dice aside without even batting an eyelid.
“Another three! These dice ‘re busted. I never lost this bad when I was bettin’ before…”
“At least you can leave the prison next turn…” Sonia’s meager condolences do very little though. She might as well have just been a gnat flying around Akane’s head.
“I suppose it’s our turn. You can roll Kazuma.” Nekomaru gives his partner an encouraging nod.
While Kazuichi, Ibuki, Teruteru and Fuyuhiko had all been pushing the game onto their respective partners, Sonia and Gundham as well as Nekomaru and Kazuma had been the only people actually working as teams. Not that it really matters for Kazuma and Nekomaru. Either way their small selection of unfinished sets is nothing against the titans that are Sonia and Gundham, and himself and Kazuichi. They’re forced to fork over another thousand to Gundham and Sonia, the latter of which is already leafing through the money. Practically inhaling it as she counts each and every note in their little bank.
As usual, as soon as it’s their turn they weave right past each of the others properties. Stopping straight on a chance and sweeping up some ‘birthday’ money from everyone else. He has to pry the money out of Ibuki and Akane’s hands but Kazuichi is more than happy to sit to the side counting where everyone can see him. A smug grin plastered on his face.
When it eventually gets back to Mikan and Ibuki the poor girl is shaking more than he ever knew was possible. Her teeth almost chattering as the anxiety wells up inside her. He almost wonders why she’s still playing, yet she’s the one who swoops in to grab the dice. Not even bothering to ask Ibuki if she wants a turn. Although he gets the feeling she would refuse regardless.
Taking the dice in her hands she begins to shake like her life depends on it. He’s not sure if he should be informing her that shaking more will have absolutely no outcome on her dice roll. However, as soon as she’s about to drop the sufficiently dizzy dice she flinches back - seemingly at nothing at all. As if moving in slow motion, he watches the dice get launched into the air. Flying up and scattering onto the floor. Clattering loudly as they do so.
At once Mikan hunches up. Arms forming a cage around her head as she whimpers feebly, “Eeeeek! I lost it!”
Once she manages to build up the courage to lift her head she furiously looks around all over the table for any sign of the dice. Not even considering looking on the floor. He breathes a deep sigh which reverberates through his entire body and ducks under the table and sweeps them up for her. It takes her a few seconds to even notice he’s pressing the dice into her hand
“H-Here. M-Maybe you sh-should throw it.” Mikan trembles like a leaf in the wind. As she does so she tries her best to shove the dice into Ibuki’s hands but it’s useless. Ibuki simply holds her hands up flat leaving nothing for the dice to rest on.
“Nope.” Ibuki shakes her head firmly, “I have faith in you. You’re gonna lead us to victory!”
Hajime has significantly less faith. But still, with shaky hands, Mikan throws the dice once more. Thankfully onto the table this time (although the dice barrel straight into the shoe, knocking it out of the prison and into the middle of the board).
“Seven…” Ibuki announces the number like a sports correspondent. And for the short moment there is hope in Mikan’s eyes as they breeze past the rest of Hajime and Kazuichi’s hotels. The water works stop as she bites her bottom lip. Calculating the move in her head as she gently taps the top hat along. The moment is only fleeting though.
“I’m s-s-sorry…” Mikan bawls once more as she finally sets the shoe down. Directly onto a tax square…
“Ha! You have succumbed to the whimsy of the feeble government that was supposed to defend your retched soul.” Gundham cackles a little too happily.
Ibuki hisses woefully but is too busy rubbing comforting circles onto Mikan’s back, “I can’t believe we lost. This is so unfair…”
“The rules are the rules. If you had just let us buy your property from you it might have gone differently.” Kazuma mumbles, doing his best not to smile and failing miserably.
“Yeah well Ibuki has a winning strategy and giving you the set would have ruined it.” Ibuki grumbles as if she hasn’t just gone completely bankrupt. Not even a penny to her name.
“I don’t think it was really that winning.” Fuyuhiko snorts, stretching his arms out behind him lazily.
“They did their best…” Peko mutters in what he thinks is supposed to be a comforting way but it only makes Ibuki wince harder and Mikan weep louder.
“Ahhhhh! We’ll get you back!” Ibuki glares up at the ceiling as if cursing the gods themselves. Hissing out each and every word, “I know! A music battle! Ibuki can’t waste her talents on board games, I let it all bubble up into my music!” She clicks her fingers as if she’s made some kind of incredible discovery.
“What, like guitar hero?” Kazuichi cocks one eyebrow and half sneers, still staring over their steadily growing stack of money.
He might be laughing but Ibuki certainly isn’t.
“You and me, right now!” She points a finger directly at Kazuichi, the other hand diligently laying on her hip.
He hadn’t even realised they had guitar hero. Or any video games for that matter. But the steely look on Ibuki’s face tells a different story.
“What, me?” Kazuichi looks around as if some mystical person is going to suddenly appear behind him.
“Yes you, duh!”
“I can’t beat you. Why don’t you challenge Hajime?!” Kazuichi doesn’t waste a second as he reaches over and grabs Hajime’s arm. Yanking him forwards without a second thought. Of course he would throw him directly under the bus…
“No, I wanna challenge you. You, Gundham, and Fuyuhiko,” her finger shifts slightly to point at each person as she speaks, “you better not be big babies and back out.”
She has to grip onto Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi’s wrists and drag them across the room to get either of them to go anywhere. She might as well be fully horizontal as she drags them along with all her might. Her face slowly turning a startling shade of red. Gundham on the other hand saunters over this his head held high. Barely even putting on a show of reluctance.
All of the rest of them squeeze on the one couch, giving the four players as much space as possible to play. Or maybe just saving their own heads from getting whacked. As he sits there getting squished from both sides by Nekomaru and Akane he should probably feel more annoyed but something inside of him can’t bring himself to.
The game of Monopoly sits forgotten on the table. Not even packed up and still completely unresolved. Nevertheless he lays back in the couch and watches happily. A smile ghosting his lips.
Chapter 37: 31st of May
Summary:
Hajime is woken up by some concerning news
Chapter Text
31/05 - 04:49
It all goes wrong at once. A chain reaction jerking him into gear. Kind of like dominoes falling honestly. Poetic…
He’s jerked awake by a hand gripping his shoulder. Fingers digging in just a little too hard as they shake him as hard as humanly possible. For a split second he thinks it’s Kazuichi or maybe even Nekomaru. But then his eyes begin to focus and an unfamiliar figure comes into view. Well not completely unfamiliar to be honest. He recognises the man as one of the doctors he had seen milling around but its not one of the ones he had spoken to - not that he knows the name of any of them yet…
Normally he might brush them away, overwhelmed by hot feelings of annoyance. But not this time. Not when they’re staring at him with eyes as wide as saucers. Hand still gripping Hajime hard enough to bruise.
“You need to get up right now.” The man hisses, looking around frantically like he expects someone to bust the door down at any second.
“What’s wrong?” In a split second he’s wide awake. If he didn’t know better he would think he had been up for hours.
It’s only at this moment as he shakes away all his bleariness that he remembers where he is. Instead of being tucked up in his bed, locked away in his room, as he has assumed he’s sat on the couch. Book still half open and laying haphazardly on the couch cushion.
He doesn’t remember falling asleep. It’s all a blur in his mind now. Distantly he remembers waking up in the middle of the night again and slipping back here to avoid the darkness of his own room. But everything beyond that is just a blur. Sleep must have taken over.
“We’ve heard from the future foundation, they’ve arrested Makoto Naegi.”
Those words are like a bat to his head. His heart skips a beat.
It happened. They’ve made their move…
It’s almost been a month since Makoto set off so he shouldn’t be surprised. There was only so long that even someone like him could last for. They should be thankful it’s even lasted this long. But he struggles to feel thankful at all. All he feels is the hot tingle which spreads through every limb and the ragged breaths that assault his lungs.
His mind is moving at a million miles a minute and yet not a single thought is coming to his brain.
Arrested.
Arrested.
Arrested.
They’ll be next.
How long will it be before they make their move? One day? Less? More?
Mere seconds have passed and every creak already feels like the future foundation knocking at their door.
Get it together! He slaps his face with both hands making the doctor jump back, brow furrowed. He knows he must look absolutely insane but right now he couldn’t care less.
“How do you know this?” He clears his throat and pulls himself together as best he can. This isn’t the time to be acting dramatic. If something is going on then he needs to be on top form. This might as well be life and death for them.
As if sensing the newfound resolve rippling off of him, the man straighten his posture and nods firmly. Eyes sharp and cold.
With a steady voice he begins to explain, “The future foundation sent out a notice. Probably hoping it would reach us. They alerted us that Makoto had been arrested and we needed to hand you in as soon as possible.”
Of course. He almost rolls his eyes right then and there.
“How do we even know they’re telling the truth? They might just be lying to put pressure on you guys.” He certainly wouldn't put it past them. Actually if anything it sounds like exactly something that they would do.
“We tried all of our contact points and there’s no way to speak with Makoto. He’s never left us without a response for more than five minutes when we’ve sent out a message.” He wishes the argument wasn’t that convincing… It does seem like too much of a coincidence for both to be happening at the same time.
“Can you let me reach out to him?” It might be a fools errand but he’d hate himself if he didn’t try. Besides, what if the doctors can’t be trusted. No, he needs to try this for himself.
With a solemn nod, the doctor backs off, giving Hajime some space to hop up off the couch. Stretching out his achy limbs he quietly follows behind the man. Each step feels like he’s walking the gallows. He counts each and every one. The higher the number grows, the deeper his stomach sinks.
He’s not surprised when the man leads him up the staircase and along to the floor they had seen them all gathered on just a day - or he supposes two now - ago. Going through all his memories he tries to piece together what on earth could be the communication device. The most interesting thing they found on this floor was the storage room and there weren’t any locked doors that they came across.
However it all clicks as they turn directly into the common room. The one place they hadn’t been able to check. Of course it would be there of all places. This time instead of being swarmed by people sat around a table, it’s deathly quiet. Too quiet. For the first time he finds himself wishing this place was crawling with doctors of all people. Even with their stupid lab coats on.
If this is a trap and he gets attacked by this guy then he’s never forgiving himself… He deserves it at this point for being this stupid.
Walking silently, they travel down the corridor until they stop in front of a door, “Here.” The doctor holds open the door for him, waiting patiently for him to head in.
But instead of moving in, he simply stands in the doorway. Waiting for the other man to go in. Although he rolls his eyes, he still heads in first not forcing Hajime through the door. Only once he’s fully stood in the middle of the room does Hajime dare breach it.
The room is far from exciting. In fact it’s almost completely empty. The only thing in the entire room is a small desk directly in the center of the room. On top of the desk is a single relatively old looking computer. A swarm of wires stretching out from the back where they are plugged into an extension cord that’s pressed up against the wall. The entire thing is only made more ominous by the dull grey walls that press in from every side.
Now standing in the middle of the room, he realises he has no idea what they’re doing here. From the sheer lack of anything else he can tell they computer must be involved but that’s about it, “What do I do?”
“You type in a message here,” he points to the computer as if that needed to be spelt out, “and it travels through an encrypted line to Naegi.”
“What about the phone we used before?” He narrows his eyes a little too suspiciously.
“We can’t guarantee contact with that. Only this way is sure to get a response - it’s like sending out a distress signal.”
He supposes that makes sense but he only wished it made him feel any better about all this.
“Hmmm…” He glides forward and takes a seat on the chair in front of the computer, his heart hammering against his rib cage. Sweaty hands hover over the keyboard. Looming over the keys but never bridging the gap to actually touch them.
Swallowing a lump in his throat he wipes his hands on his trousers to shake off any lingering sweat, “What’s your name?” He mumbles out the words, not even looking back at the man.
Is he procrastinating…maybe…but it also feels right. After everything he should probably make at least make the slightest effort to get to know these people who are risking their lives for them. And if they do turn out to be tricking him then he knows exactly who he needs to get revenge on…
“Kaoru Suzuki.”
“Suzuki…” He mumbles the name like a chant. Letting it weigh heavy on his lips, “Okay then.”
Bracing himself he taps the keyboard. Almost immediately it lights up with an eerie green glow. A long line of messages pop up on the board, written in a flickering green light.
Older messages show a clear back and forth however the last few messages are all coming from this computer. Judging by the time stamps and the clock in the corner which reads 4:30 am it has been almost thirty minutes and not a single reply…
Naegi come in
Naegi we need a report now
Are you okay?
The future foundation have made a move
Come in come in
If you can see this reply as soon as possible or we will need to inform our visitors.
And then it all falls silent. Makoto never replied…
He takes one final breath in and then places his hands on the keyvboard. He doesn’t even think about what he’s going to say before he types. He just lets his hands move on their own. Words flowing out on instinct more than anything else.
Makoto, it’s me.
Hajime.
If you are still there we need to know.
Should we begin moving out?
After that he just sits there. Some part of him is vaguely aware of his foot tapping on the ground but he makes no effort to stop it. Each second feels like a million years. He’s not even sure what he’s waiting for. It’s not like Makoto is suddenly going to start talking because he’s messaging.
One minute.
Two minutes.
God, he’s hungry. He hadn’t noticed at first but now sat here he can feel it growl and shake uncontrollably.
Three minutes.
Four minutes.
The words on the screen don’t even look like words anymore. They’re just green squiggles. The low quality of the computer making them flicker and dance before his very eyes.
Five minutes.
Nothing. He’s not even sure why he’s disappointed. They had already established that this is what would happen yet somehow it still feels surprising. Unbelievable almost.
“Still nothing.” He says it out loud, even though they can both clearly see the exact same thing.
“They must have been telling the truth. They must have him.”
He can’t rule out the obvious possibility that this was all a trick set up by the doctors to manipulate them. There’s absolutely nothing to confirm that this even goes to Makoto.
Yet looking in Suzuki’s eyes now, not a single cell in his body believes that he could be lying. He would bet his life that this is the truth. In a way he supposes he is betting his life. He’s betting all of their lives.
Finally leaning back from the keyboard he mumbles, “So…what do we do now…?”
~~~
31/05 - 05:16
He smashes his fist against Akane’s door as hard as he can. Yelling the entire time, “Get up. In the communal area now!”
After giving Akane’s door a good few knocks he moves onto the next and the next. Bringing his fist crashing down on each door one by one. Thundering down the hallway as he yells at the top of his lungs. The only proof he needs of his own volume is the way bleary eyed people are slowly wandering out of their rooms, pillows folded over their ears, before he’s even gotten near to their rooms.
Each of them simply stand in their doorways gaping at him as if he’s lost his mind. So they could all hear him enough to come out of their rooms but they could do the most basic thing of actually listening to what he’s saying?
“Communal area. Now.” He claps furiously as he speaks but thankfully that seems to kick them into gear.
Still huddled in their duvets they slowly meander over to the other room. It takes everything he has not to slap them all upside the head. They don’t know what he knows though… He has to remind himself of that over and over. Along with the duvets, most of them have pillows pulled around their heads or tucked under their arms as if this is one big communal sleepover party they’re having.
“This better be good…” Hiyoko growls as she passes him. Unlike almost everyone else - everyone except Peko and Nagito who look completely awake - her head is held high instead of being drooped down to her chest.
One by one they all slide themselves into seats around the table. Bumping into each other unceremoniously left and right but they’re almost all too tired to even notice. All of them just fighting to keep enough clarity to actually find their chairs.
“What time even is it?” Ibuki groans, laying flat on the table until her nose bends awkwardly.
“It’s…” Nekomaru begins to groan as he looks around the room, “5AM?!” His jaw drops open almost at once.
“God…there better be a good reason for all this… I was sleeping just a few minutes ago…” Kazuichi rubs his face, pulling on his eyelids as if trying to pin them open.
“Look I’m as tired as the rest of you.” They’re all acting like he wasn’t also unceremoniously awoken. All of them are in the same boat here, “I was also woken up this morning by one of the doctors who came with some news.”
At once, without even letting him finish his explanation, they break out into unintelligible chatter. Wild theories popping up from every direction. The sheer volume of them all screeching drowns out the small pockets of intelligible words.
Beyond just the shouting, he can see people like Hiyoko and Sonia pressings hands to their chest. As if just pushing down hard enough will be enough to settle their frantic breaths.
“Guys!” He shouts out but even then it’s almost impossible to hear him. They’re all too lost in their own world and fantasies to even notice, “SHUT UP!” He screams until his voice burns. It’s enough to shut them up though.
They all sit there. Eyes wide. Mouths still open, as if they were frozen exactly in their spots as they were speaking.
“You need to listen if we want to make any progress. You don’t even know what they said.” He feels more like a stern parent than anything else. He highly doubts that knowing what was said would change their reactions in the slightest but he would appreciate them at least trying.
It seems to get through to them though as they hang their heads and bite their lips. Each of them avoiding the gaze of their classmates.
“Sorry…” Nekomaru mumbles dejectedly, bowing his head in shame.
“Thank you…” He sighs, trying to find the best way to say what he needs to say without inciting mass panic yet again. Is there even a way at all? But with all these people sat here expectantly, on the edge of their seats waiting, he can’t just say nothing. And more importantly he shouldn’t.
Sucking in a deep breath, he begins to speak as calmly as he can. Hoping his tone will rub off on them all, “The doctors told me that they had received a message from the Future Foundation. Apparently they have arrested Makoto Naegi and are keeping him in custody. Now they’re demanding that we’re handed over as soon as possible.”
“What?!” Hiyoko slams her hands on the table, making almost everyone around her flinch back violently. Only Gundham and Nekomaru manage to keep stoic stone faces.
“He was too optimistic.” Fuyuhiko groans.
He wants to argue back against the boy but what can he even say? It might as well be what they’re all thinking. In reality he has done better than they expected but it was still naïve and optimistic to ever think he would be able to do this indefinitely. Game time is over now. The real thing has begun.
“I knew we shouldn’t have trusted a pansy like him.” Hiyoko scowls but even her blasé attitude isn’t enough to hide what they can all see spray painted across her like a neon sign.
With her jaw tensed harshly, Peko scowls at him. Dissecting each and every one of his words and body movements, “Apologies, but how do we even know this is true. I don’t know if I trust these ‘doctors’, they could just be lying,”
“Th-they were v-very helpful w-when we were i-in recovery.”
“They did take care of us when they didn’t need to. If they were untrustworthy it’s strange they would have helped us at all.”
Mikan and Nagito’s defenses don’t seem to have everyone changing their tunes though. While it would be nice if they could believe in people that easily, the world isn’t really that simple. Not the world they’ve all grown up in anyway.
“Maybe something changed. Maybe they’re just threatening the doctors and forcing them to lie.” Mahiru doesn’t look up as she speaks. Her finger drawing wonky circles on the table with a ragged finger nail which has been chewed down all the way to the base.
“In which case we’re still screwed.” Teruteru growls as he kicks back in his chair.
After looking Suzuki in the eyes he doesn’t believe for a second that he’s lying but even if he was, that doesn’t change the most basic fact about all of this which is that they need to leave this place. It’s less a safe haven and more of a prison at this point. Time to jump ship as soon as possible.
He can’t do anything with everyone panicking like this though. Even if the overall outcome is the same, they need to all be able to to believe this message if they’re going to even entertain Hajime’s idea. And that’s a big ‘if’.
“I’ve confirmed it myself.” He puts his foot down, “I contacted Makoto and it’s clear he is no longer accessible. Something has happened to him and I’m willing to bet it’s the Future Foundation. It’s not like we thought he would really be able to keep them off forever.” Is he being a little vague…maybe. But it’s not like they’re going to feel comforted knowing he saw some typing on a computer. Telling them he just believes based on vibes from seeing the guy isn’t exactly going to be more convincing either.
Thankfully even though the reasoning is as shaky as anything, no one voices any suspicion. They simply all nod and fall quiet. Relenting to his confident tone more than anything else.
Tapping the table, Akane finally mumbles, “What are we gonna do then?”
That’s the million dollar question. What are they going to do? What on earth can they do. It’s all nice and pretty to simply say they need to leave but that’s all it is. Nice pleasantries. Staying here it had gotten a little too easy to simply take each day as it came. Maybe they should have been preparing more for this moment throughout. It’s not like any of them believed this would last forever. The only thing they did determine in their scattered meetings was that there was nowhere safe for them to go. Just the sort of thing they want to be thinking about.
“Have they already charted their ships in our direction?” Gundham grumbles, brow furrowed as he ponders.
“I… I don’t know yet. I tried to see if we could detect them approaching but there’s nothing yet.”
After finishing with the computer, they had both checked every scanner they had available in the building. But no matter how long they looked nothing appeared on the radar. Maybe they still don’t know where they’re all hiding away. Or maybe they’re just giving them as much time as possible to comply with the demands. Either way they’re eventually going to find their way over here. Even if it isn’t happening right now. They should probably take the little victories they can get though.
“Yet…” Peko mutter ominously under her breath. Saying aloud what they’re all already thinking.
“Well I’m not waiting like a sitting duck!” Hiyoko seethes. As she does so she sends the chair scattering out from under her across the floor. Banging into everything it crosses. He’s not sure if that’s supposed to make her point clearer somehow but if that’s the intention then it has been unsuccessful. Her hands are fanned out on the table, pressing down as hard as humanly possible. He could almost swear he hears the table creak under the pressure. Bowing slightly.
“Me neither.” Teruteru doesn’t bother jumping up but his twisted scowls is a perfect mirror of Hiyoko’s.
Sighing exasperatedly, Kazuma rubs their face slowly. Tediously. “None of us are asking you to.”
As far as Hajime is aware none of them want to be sitting ducks. But just knowing that isn’t going to be enough to make actual changes.
“If I may ask, what is the plan then?” Sonia rests her head on her heads, commanding the entire room into a steady quiet with nothing more than a few firm words.
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. This should be a democracy, I want to know what you want to do.” It sounds silly coming out of his mouth. Like a far flung dream. But it only seems fair. Even if it’s going to require hours of arguing it wouldn’t be fair to drag people from place to place without giving them the slightest choice in their fates. After everything they deserve that if nothing else.
“This isn’t going to go well…” Fuyuhiko already senses the danger in the idea but he makes no more complaints. What else can they say?
“I can’t die yet! We need to leave here A-S-A-P! Ibuki doesn’t want to be made into a fancy looking rug!”
“A…rug?” Nekomaru frowns but quickly shakes his head. Completely dismissing anything that spills out of Ibuki’s mouth.
“B-But…wh-where w-will w-we g-g-go?” Mikan’s teeth chatter inside her head but she still manages to just about get those words out.
“As far away from here as possible?” He instantly wants to roll his eyes at Kazuichi’s simplistic solution but he manages to hold himself back. Rolling eyes isn’t going to solve anything. At least not right now.
“We will be on the run forever…” Sonia says the words aloud it’s like she’s speaking the words into being. All of them are unable to hide the implications of that.
Before all this it’s not like they were living the good life. At least not most of them anyway. Not all of them had palaces to sleep in. But back then peace wasn’t exactly something they wanted. After their short stint here it’s hard to imagine going back to that life. Sleeping in dilapidated buildings and slinking around the country - not the world - like a phantom on the breeze.
“I don’t think we’ve had much choice in that for a while. We were remnants of despair after all. It makes sense they would hunt us.” Nagito mumbles heavily. There’s no smile to be seen this time. Nothing he is saying is wrong but it leaves a sour taste in his mouth. Given everything they did he doesn’t really have the right to be annoyed at what the future foundation does but that kind of logic doesn’t change the feelings seething in the corner of his mind.
The future foundation can never be right.
Sighing, Fuyuhiko leans forward. Resting his head in his hands and covering up his mouth. For some reason the position makes him look more like a Yakuza than every before. The suspicious glint in his eyes is impossible to ignore.
“Look, it’s not like they have been doing amazingly at hunting us down so far. It took them years to find us the first time and that’s only because we handed ourselves in. And we’ve been here basically for months now, right under their noses, and they still haven’t found us.”
He…has a point. You’d think sheer dumb luck would prevail at some point and they would stumble upon their hiding place if nothing else. But days, weeks, months have passed and radio silence. It’s not like they’re some genius organisation or anything.
“So we should just take our chances on the road…?” Mahiru finally looks up. Fire hot behind her eyes as she makes eye contact with Fuyuhiko. Something burning between them with a searing unbearable heat.
Fuyuhiko can only endure it for a few seconds before he backs away. Legs swinging up onto the table to rest on the nicely polished surface. He holds himself back from wincing at the thought of this on the surface where they eat their food regularly. Not for much longer now…
“Where would we go though? I think a ship sailing away would draw more than a little attention…” He asks tentatively, feeling out the waters. Testing for who in the group is going to give some resistance. He already knows for a fact convincing Hiyoko is going to be nigh impossible but it would be good to get an idea of who else are going to be the ones to keep an eye on.
“Hajime does have a point…maybe…” Ibuki mumbles unconvincingly. As if she’s trying to figure out her own opinion more than anything else.
“What do you want us to do then?! Die?!” Hiyoko spits at him. Her face is more now red than anything else. The colour sticking out like a sore thumb against her bright yellow hair.
“Of course not.”
“What then?”
“I…” He ponders for a moment, second guessing himself, before he hard commits. Taking the leap before he has a chance to look down over the edge, “I think we should confront the future foundation.”
“Confront?!”
“You lost your mind dude?”
“This is insane!”
“You’re going to get us all killed!” Hiyoko has only grown redder. The vein on her forehead bulging to a worrying degree.
“Eeeek! This is too risky even for Ibuki!”
Holding his hands up defensively, he tries to reason with them. Trying to find some way of letting them see his side in all this. They can call him crazy all they want but he won’t listen to a word until they hear him out.
“Look, I know it sounds crazy but Makoto and the others helped. They’ve been hiding us and drawing away attention for days and weeks now. Maybe even months. From the second we stepped in here they’ve been taking risks for us and while most of you weren’t here, I expect those of us that made it through that fucking game to remember how they saved our arses in their too.”
“So what, we should just lay down our lives for them…?” Peko crooks one eyebrow. Tightly folding her arms around her chest. Cutting herself off from the concept completely.
“That’s what it sounds like…” Mahiru juts her jaw forward as she grits his teeth.
He looks around for any support but there’s no one. Angry faces meet him in every direction. Seething veins popping out of skulls and people pointedly looking away from him in any possible direction.
Even Nagito is quietly muttering to himself, “Sacrificing for hope…”
“Ha! His mind has been fully consumed. The cruel hands of sentimentality weaving themselves through his broken chassis.” Gundham's scoff doesn’t make him feel any better.
He wants to roll his eyes. He wants to scream. He wants to shout. But instead he shoves it all down. Pushing it as deep down as it can go. Because he gets it. As much as he might not want to, he does. Asking them to risk all this for people they don’t even truly know is unfair.
Okay, time for a different approach then, “Even if we don’t do it for them, it makes sense. If we deal with them head on now we can live the rest of our lives without needing to watch out for them over our shoulders. No more paranoia about being dragged away at any second.”
He waits quietly for someone, anyone, to say something. No one does though. They all just avert their gaze, keeping to themselves. No matter how much he looks around the room, pleading, nothing changes.
Taking the job upon himself, he looks at each of them in turn. Staring as hard as he can until they fully turn away. Praying that at least one of them will have the words resonate with them. He’s not surprised in the least that Hiyoko, Mahiru, and Teruteru look away immediately. But Sonia on the other hand… If anyone here was going to back him up he thought it would be her. Instead her bottom lip is caught between her teeth as if she’s holding herself back with all her strength. Guilt oozing off of her. Rippling across the room.
Is there no one that’s going to back him up?
Nagito?
Kazuichi?
Kazuma?
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
He had known it wouldn’t be easy. He would have to be insane to think it would be. But he had counted on getting at least someone. This is just too depressing. His idea hasn’t even gotten off the ground before being shot down.
In a last ditch attempt he rounds on Nekomaru. Putting on his best puppy dog eyes. He only just manages to stop himself from physically reaching out to grab the taller man. The longer he stares, the more Nekomaru sucks in his cheek. Chewing on the inside unconsciously.
And then, “And how are we supposed to do this?”
A wave of relief overwhelms him. It might only be one person but at this point he’ll take anything he can get. Gripping onto what little he has with an iron fist.
With a renewed energy he points over to Fuyuhiko, trying to bring as much energy as possible into his voice. Practically oozing optimism, “Like Fuyuhiko pointed out, we’re an entire class of ultimate students. Ultimates that were already able to out maneuver them for years. If anyone can deal with them, its us. I’ve spent more time than I would ever want to analysing them when I was preparing for the infiltration of this place. Their numbers are already highly reduced. If we can slip in and distract anyone that gets in our way then I can get into their headquarters and deal with their leaders. They will be child’s play to handle.”
The more he speaks, the more people begin to look up. Some of their brows furrowed, others chewing on their lips, cheeks even nails. Anything they can get their hands on. A few of them even looking between each other as if trying to get a read on the feelings of the herd. Doing their best to comply to the majority. Slowly getting drawn in by his overwhelming confidence.
“This sounds awfully optimistic.” Kazuma bites on the corner of their nail. With their hand covering their mouth like that it’s somewhat muffled but there’s no mistaking their words.
“We have two ultimate lucky students. We’ve all seen what Nagito alone can do. Imagine what it would be like with two of us. We might as well be invincible.” He might be hyping things up but its clear someone needs to. Besides, they would be insane to doubt the luck after everything.
Once upon a time he had written it off as a boring talents - after all it simply makes everything fall into your lap without effort. But if that’s been his entire life so far he might as well make the most of it for once. If Nagito’s talent could be used in the plot that ended with Chiaki’s ‘death’ then imagine how much it could do in an infiltration mission.
Kazuichi doesn’t look quite as sold though, “But Nagito's luck always turns on us even if it works out for him.”
“That’s what I’m there for. The fail safe.” Realistically, he has no idea if that’s even how it works but he has to hope. Hope is about all they have left so he’s going to stretch the little he has as far as it can go.
Quiet murmuring breaks out across the room. People begin to turn to each other. Bridging the gap which had been slowly cracking between them. The small phrases he manages to pick up that are calling him ‘insane’ and ‘out of his mind’ aren’t exactly the most comforting but it’s something. It’s more than they had before so he’s not letting go of his hope quite yet. Not until they put their foot down on the whole idea.
But the one who really makes the difference is Akane of all people. Scratching her ear nonchalantly with her pinky finger, she leans back in her chair. Breaking the precarious quiet that was still echoing in the room, she shouts out, “Look, I don’t get all this stuff you’re talkin’ about but Hajime has gotten us this far. I don’t got plans of my own but from what I’ve seen followin’ his plans seems like a pretty good idea.”
His cheeks begin to glow slightly but he does his best to ignore it. He’s not even sure why the words hit him. It shouldn’t mean anything but his heart skips a beat anyway. Thundering in his chest at full speed.
“That’s what got us here in the first place…” Teruteru hisses under his breath as if just saying it out loud will curse them. Bringing misfortune back upon them. As if Junko will somehow overhear them from whatever pit she’s been banished to only to crawl back up and drag them down with her.
“But it’s also why we’re all back to our normal selves again.” Ibuki offers up tentatively. Stepping on egg shells as she studies the reactions of absolutely everyone around the table. Even Hajime himself.
Once again everyone begins speaking but at least there are a few less people calling him insane. Instead they’re calling Akane insane now. Not that she even bats an eyelid. She just goes back to scratching at her ear as if she can’t even hear all their muttering. Given her ears and senses he can’t believe that for a second though.
Trying to pull things back before people start getting too antsy, he reaches out one last time. Stretching out all the hope he can towards though. If they can’t agree that will be it though. He isn’t going to drag this out any further but he needs to at least try one final time before giving up completely. For Makoto and Kirigiri even if for nothing else.
Pleading, he bows his head and mumbles, “I’m not going to force you guys to accept this. If we don’t agree then we can all just go on the run and hope that the future foundation never finds us. I can’t do this without all of us working together. But I think we owe the people that helped us if nothing else.”
If he can’t do this one thing then what’s even the point of all of these talents other than for causing distress and pain in the world around him. So far the only people he’s ever been able to help are the remnants of despair and the ultimate despair themselves… What a great talent for the ‘ultimate hope’…
When he finally looks up he sees a room full of faces - of blinking eyes - all of them watching him intensely. Tearing away his flesh and bones to stare straight into his soul. Burning away at every inch of him.
Swallowing hard, he chokes down the lump that had risen in his throat. Almost choking him. The silence as he waits for someone to make the first move is unbearable. But what can he say? There’s nothing left for him to sway them with. This needs to be their choice now. He is asking them to risk their lives after all.
Seconds before it happens, he realises who’s going to be the first one to speak. Sonia’s teeth are biting down on her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood as her hand trembles on the table. Then all at once she stands up, wobbling precariously but staying standing despite the panicked look Gundham throws her way.
“I…I am not sure what to say. You might believe it to be foolish but I believe I agree with Hajime. If I am trying to change the person I was to make up for the horrors I have inflicted then I must face the metal.”
“I think you mean music.” Ibuki chuckles awkwardly, scratching her neck as she slowly stands up. Facing everyone else head on, “But I know what you mean. It wouldn’t be very rock and roll to ditch them.”
“We did do some appalling things. If we want to work on redeeming ourselves then perhaps this is the first step.” Nekomaru nods with a solid determination as he stands up. Rock solid compared the the almost trembling forms of Ibuki and Sonia.
“Putting our livelihoods on the front lines of the battle. Playing with our very souls…It does sound acceptable.” Gundham stands up, taking his spot next to Sonia and offering out his arm to her so she can steady herself under the harsh eyes of everyone else in the room.
With every person that stands up, he feels lighter and lighter. His soul swelling up. It makes him wonder why he even doubted them in the first time. Of course it makes sense they would be uncertain at first but of course they would see where he’s coming from. Time was all they needed. And maybe a few convincing speeches…maybe…
“What about everyone else?” With a new found confidence with a few people standing behind him he addresses the room with a steady voice, “If you are happy doing this then raise your hand now. I know it wont be easy and we might just go in and get ourselves killed but is there much point in living if we always regret everything we’ve done and are just running forever. If we’re going to keep living then we should make sure they’re lives that we actually want to be living.”
Without wasting a second, everyone who is standing up raises their hands. He even joins in with them to offer his support. Ibuki and Sonia’s hands are still shaking even now but Nekomaru’s supportive smile steadies them slightly. It’s impossible to doubt how genuine he is, even for a second.
After them, Akane, Kazuma and Nagito are the next three to stand up. None of them even looking at each other but all standing up almost simultaneously. After that Ibuki drags Mikan up, letting the girl cling to her side. Then there’s Peko and Fuyuhiko. Finally Mahiru stands up, raising her hand high above her head.
Until only Teruteru and Hiyoko are left sitting. Teruteru looks deflated as he sits there, slumped over in his chair with his lip raw and bleeding from the ferocity with which he’s been gnawing at it. Meanwhile Hiyoko has both her hands stuffed under her armpits. Eyes ablaze as she stares right at Hajime. A million emotions flashing past her.
For a few moments he thinks she’s never going to put her hand up but the more she stares, the more he can read her. Her terror. Her wide eyed panic. The way she’s grilling him. Before she’s even released her hand from it’s death grip under the armpit, he knows exactly what she’s going to do.
Hiyoko’s hand shoots up first. The fire never quite dying down but her hand is solid. Unshaking and unmoving. A few seconds later (and one gentle shove from Akane later) Teruteru’s hand slowly raises too. Shaking considerably more than Hiyoko’s though. Unlike the others, neither of them stand up to join everyone else but that doesn’t matter. The only thing any of them care about is the fact they’re all in agreement.
“That’s settled then. We’re going to save them." Hajime nods solemnly. More than a little aware that he might have just signed their death certificate. All fifteen of them…
As soon as he says that, Hiyoko slams her hand back down. Pinning it under her armpit once again so no one can catch sight of the slight way it begins to tremble, “We’re all going to die, aren’t we…?”
“Hajime will keep us all safe.” Nagito speaks with an absolute unwavering confidence. Similing the entire time.
He wishes he could have that kind of confidence in himself… After everything you would think he would have that - after all if anyone could do this it would be him. And yet all he can think about is the million things that could go wrong. And he was the one that came up with this idea and pressured them all into this. If anything happens it’s on him. Their lives back on his shoulders one again. Not that he can complain. He asked for this. Fought for this. The only person to blame is himself.
“That doesn’t make me feel better.” Hiyoko growls and it almost makes him laugh. It should annoy him but this might be the most he’s ever liked Hiyoko.
Clapping their hands together and bringing everyone back, Kazuma asks, “When are we leaving then?”
Honestly, he hadn’t really gotten that far yet. The first idea that pops into his head is that they leave immediately. After all if they want to get the upper hand they should be making the first move. Acting before the Future Foundation has time to prepare. Except that they have already given the Future Foundation weeks, no months, to prep for this.
“We need to be suitably prepared before we make any rash decisions.” Nekomaru rubs his chin thoughtfully. Tracing something invisible on the table in front of him.
“Oh, you mean like food and supplies?” Sonia’s eyes light up as she tightens her hold on Gundham’s arm which is still laced through her own.
“Not to mention all our stuff.” Kazuichi mumbles, his eyes flicking over towards Hajime for a split second.
Akane slumps back down in her chair, giving Kazuichi a flippant wave, “We burnt all our stuff. Unless you forgot.”
That does make their boat a little less crowded then. Small victories he supposes. He doubts any boat they’ll be able to get their hands on will be large anyway. The less stuff they can bring the better.
Putting on his most commanding voice, he presses a hand on the table and leans forwards. Like a general giving out orders to his troops, “We should pack everything we need onto a ship as soon as possible so we can leave at the drop of a hat.”
Even if he hasn’t decided on when to leave yet, if they’re at least ready he can call on them at any time. For now that might be the best compromise they’re going to get. The safest too…
“Sounds fan-fucking-tastic.” Fuyuhiko scowls but gets up without anymore complaints. His little shadow darting after him. Neither even stopping for a second to listen to the last of Hajime’s instructions. Fuyuhiko’s hands are simply shoved into his pockets as he hunches over and stalks off without another look back.
“I will keep an eye on the situation and let you know when to make our move. For now just brace yourselves.”
Brace yourselves. He has no idea how they are even supposed to brace themselves for something like this. No matter what fanciful lies he weaves, they still have no idea what they’re walking into. Yet brace themselves they do.
Chapter 38: 1st of June
Summary:
They begin preparing the ship to leave the island
Chapter Text
01/06 - 06:06
Sighing, he stares out over the still water. Not a single wave to be seen. Just a perfect horizon line splitting the world. The sun is just about peeking over it. Splaying colours all across the waters surface.
With the water this nice it’s easy to forget what lays ahead of them. To think by tomorrow he might be dead. His intestines splaying across the ground. If this is going to be his last sunrise he should probably make the most of it while it still lasts.
Regardless of how much he wants to though, he can’t waste too long though. It would be unfair to everyone else. No, he has a job to do. No matter how much he hates the job.
Groaning slightly, he grabs the nearest box and hoists it up. Holding it with both hands and giving the bottom of the box as much support as he can. Given how powerful his muscles are it’s almost impressive that it’s giving him this much trouble… What the hell did they pack in here? Based on the metal clanking he has to assume it’s tins of some kind but at this point he wouldn’t be surprised if it was somehow some kind of portable radiator or rice cooker.
Perhaps leaving them to all pack their own things wasn’t a good idea. Already he’d had to throw the china tea set off the ship. No matter how much Sonia complains, they’re not going to be making tea from a fragile tea set any time soon.
Although he stumbles up the ramp under the pressing weight of the box, he manages to make it onto the ship itself relatively safely. Now he just needs to find space for all of this nonsense. There are fifteen of them, sure, but there’s no way all of this is needed. Nevertheless he slides the box under one of the seats until it’s safely out of the way and even Mikan couldn’t trip over it.
Wiping the sweat off of his brow, he looks over his handiwork with a grin. It’s like a game of Tetris more than anything else. Shoving stuff aside carefully to make as much space as possible. He had tried to wrangle a bigger boat but this little thing was all he could get. It's a miracle they even got this to be honest.
There’s a room or two below deck but one of them is already stuffed full of duvets and sleeping bags they had dragged down. And the other is stocked full of boxes of food. Most of which he’s sure will get abandoned as soon as they land on the shore if they survive this first trip. After going through all this he certainly isn’t going to be the one transporting all this stuff. He gets the feeling none of them want to be hoisting this boxes around on their journey either. If they did they would probably be here helping him right now but instead he’s here all alone. Not even Kazuichi or Nekomaru joining him - not that he’s picky, at this point he’d take anyone he can get.
He has no idea where they’re all going to fit in but hopefully it won’t be a long trip. Especially since there’s only a single toilet on the entire thing and not a single shower. Living here has gotten him a little too used to the luxury amenity of a shower. Going back to living in squalor is going to be difficult to say the least.
Shaking himself back awake, he looks back over at the docks where the last few bags still sit on the floor. Looking around at the space left on the deck he resolves to simply throw them into the ‘bedroom’. Surely someone will recognise the bags and lay claim to it when they all get aboard.
So wiping away the slowly beading sweat one last time he cracks back on. Determination flooding his features as he basks in what might be his last sunrise. At least if this is the last one it’s a beautiful one. If nothing else he’ll have this memory.
~~~
01/06 - 10:01
By the time he finished he’s panting…perhaps a little too much. It takes everything he has to drag is legs up the stairs. Moving one by one.
On the floor above he can hear footsteps thundering - probably the doctors dealing with their own emergency plans. He has no idea what they’re going to do to protect themselves but hopefully if they can deal with the Future Foundation as soon as possible the doctors will be able to get away without getting punished. Hopefully… Or maybe they’ll all just get killed and will regret their life choices. Either one is possible.
In comparison, their floor is dead silent. You could hear a pin drop and it would be like thunder in your ears. He wants to say he’s surprised but given everything it makes sense. Not much going on to be talking and cheering about. Only a pervasive sense of terror and anxiety flooding every inch of the building. Just what you needed to bolster your confidence.
As he stumbles onto the floor her drags his feet along the corridor. Enjoying the way his feet drag loudly against the smooth floor.
He should probably check on everyone - making sure they’re not puking up their guts or something equally disgusting. He doesn’t though. Instead he wanders into the Neo World room. Plopping himself down in front of the computer once again.
He has been avoiding this for hours now. Spending all his time trying to formulate the right words in his mind. But with everything else prepared he can’t procrastinate this anymore. If nothing else, Alter Ego at least deserves the slightest explanation. He can’t just dip out without a word after everything he did for them.
Alter Ego?
He types in a message and waits patiently. Watching every second tick by. Tapping his foot on the floor impatiently.
Yes? Is something wrong?
Words flicker on the screen. He can practically hear Alter Ego saying the words aloud as he reads them.
Sort of. The future foundation has arrested Makoto.
Oh no! Is he okay?
We’re going to see of we can help him soon. Hopefully it will all go well.
Okay. I have faith in you all. I’m sure you’ll help him.
His stomach twists itself up. Churning until it’s tied into a tight choking knot. His fists curling up as they hover over the keyboard.
I hope so.
Hope is all he can do. It’s not like he’s going to offload his uncertainty onto Alter Ego of all people. He might be an AI but he’s already so disconnected from everything that happens so he would be left with that uncertainty for far longer than the rest of them will be. Confidence is what he needs right now.
Did you come here to say goodbye then?
Not quite. I came here to suggest that you come with us.
Every second he has to wait for the response feels like it drags on. Like minutes are passing rather than milliseconds. When he had come up with the idea he had assumed Alter Ego would accept without even a second thought. But now he’s sat here again it’s harder and harder to believe. It’s not like he has the best track record with AI’s on a USB stick after all…
Come with you?
Yes. I still have the old USB stick. Junko’s virus was completely destroyed so it’s empty and free now.
He types out the words as quickly as possible. As if hoping that spitting them out fast enough will change Alter Ego’s mind or sway his choice.
You want to bring me with you? Why?
Well, when the future foundation comes here they might destroy you. If we bring you with us we can take you to Makoto.
He’s honestly not too sure what they will do if they get to Makoto and manage to help him. The only thing he does know is that there’s no way anything good will happen if the Future Foundation gets their hands on Alter Ego. The only way he can protect the AI which did so much for them is to keep it with him. Hopefully his luck will be able to protect it if nothing else…
I… That sounds like a good idea. Plug the USB in.
He breaths out a sigh of relief, slumping over slightly.
Will do.
His hands shake slightly as he grabs the USB stick and rubs a finger along the surface. It feels smooth. Unblemished. Not even so much as a nick despite everything it’s been through. The thought of using it now make him laugh aloud.
Thankfully Alter Ego can’t hear whats happening and no one is around to overhear what must sound like his slow dissent into madness. What comes around goes around. Maybe he hasn’t learnt as much as he thought he had. Doing the same thing all over again - although he trusts Alter Ego far more than he ever trusted Junko.
Bracing himself, he runs a hand down the side of the computer until he feels the dip of the USB port. Keeping his hand as steady as possible so as not to scratch up the USB stick, he slides the metal piece in until it clicks. A weird fluttering dance in his stomach uncomfortably.
There, does that work?
Yes, I can upload myself. Please take care.
Don’t worry, I won’t let you get damaged.
I wasn’t meaning me. I was meaning take care of yourselves. The Future Foundation is powerful. They aren’t bad people but they’re determined and they have already justified your deaths. I don’t want you all to die.
A small smile crooks on his lips. He should have already realised that would be how the AI would feel. He’s not exactly unpredictable. Actually if anything he’s reliable and stable.
Alter Ego can’t see his smile but he is grinning as he types out his final message to Alter Ego.
Thanks. I will keep all of you safe. It’ll be fine.
Alter Ego doesn’t type out a response but a small download window pop up in the middle of the screen. The bar slowly filling up millimeter by millimeter. He leans back in his chair, watching it slowly crawl up. Given how big the file must be it makes sense, but it doesn’t make it any less boring.
He considers getting up and making a tea as he waits but even just thinking about walking away makes his stomach lurch. He promised he would keep the AI safe so he shouldn’t leave his post until Alter Ego has been secured.
In then end it takes almost an hour to full move the files. The final pop up message appearing on the screen to announce the completion. Hastily clicking it away he’s greeted with a blank screen. All of their communications completely gone.
Good. The future foundation don’t need to have seen any of their chats. The less they can find the better.
Even in spite of the message informing him of the success, his heart races as he grabs onto the USB. A million worst case scenario thoughts rushing through him. Before he can start twisting up his head even more, he pulls the USB stick loose and clicks the cap on the top. Double and triple checking the seal. Without a second thought he shoves it deep into his jean pockets until it’s completely hidden away from sight.
Straightening himself out and flattening his hair, he begins to walk out of the room. Fighting his every urge to look back at the computer which had once housed Alter Ego. Instead he pats down his pocket. Reassuring himself it hasn’t magically disappeared in the 10 seconds since he slid it in there.
Tearing his hand away from his pocket, he pushes onward to their quarter. Ready to check for any last things they need to bring. Knowing his friends even a situation like this isn’t going to stop them forgetting something here or there.
But as he passes out of the communal area and into the corridor, he’s greeted by the sight of two people stood in the hallway. Heads bowed as they whisper to each other too quietly for even him to hear. Frowning he stops in his tracks for a moment before continuing on towards them.
Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi? Not the pairing he was expecting to see at a time like this in the middle of the dark corridor.
“Is everything okay?” The lines on his forehead only grow deeper the more he looks at them. They’re both stood in front of Fuyuhiko’s room but even when he subtly peers forwards, he can’t see Peko anywhere. Just the two of them as far as the eye can see.
“As okay as it can be.” Fuyuhiko sighs dramatically. Shoving both hands into his pockets once again as he looks Hajime up and down, “How are you doing? Have you slept at all?”
“There’s not exactly time for sleeping. I have to be ready in case the Future Foundation suddenly appear.” He pinches the bridge of his nose, fighting every urge to yawn.
“They haven’t arrived yet so shouldn’t you make the most of the time now before something happens.” Kazuichi says it like it’s the most simple thing in the world. God he wishes it was that simple. Everything would be so much easier to handle.
“If they haven’t arrived yet then it means it’s going to have to be soon. It’s been well over twenty four hours now. There’s no way they aren’t on their way by now.”
“Still, you need sleep if you’re going to complete whatever this vague plan is.” There’s an underlying frustration to Fuyuhiko’s words but he ignores it. This isn’t the time to be dealing with this stuff.
“I’ll sleep on the boat.” Knowing how long the boat ride is he’ll barely even get a few hours sleep but they are right. Something will be better than nothing. If he wants them to have faith in him and his plan then he probably shouldn’t be yawning the entire time.
“That sounds…healthy.” Kazuichi mutters more to himself than to anyone else.
“It’s as healthy as we can afford to be right now.”
“Yeah yeah.” Fuyuhiko clenches his jaw a little, “What about this plan then? Any more ideas?”
“I have no clue what’s going on in the building right now. Without getting into their systems, it’s impossible to account for all variable. But Kyosuke Munakata is their leader. He’s the one tying them all together - always has been. I’ll handle him and if I’m successful we’ll be able to get them to free Makoto even if nothing else.”
Even as he says it he knows how basic it sounds, but he trusts his - and their - ability to adapt to whats thrown at them. There are too many unknowns and variables for them to be successful in any other way.
The others are biting their lips. Neither of them good enough actors to fully disguise their expressions.
“What about Miss Yukizome?” Fuyuhiko’s question catches him off guard. He stumbles for a second, trying to piece together what he’s even asking.
“What do you mean?”
Of course he remembers Yukizome. He had barely even seen her once but it was impossible to forget what happened that night. And even if he didn’t see her, he heard from her more than once. Junko’s little rat on the inside. Pulling at cables and whispering poison onto the ear of the future foundations director. Junko cared for them all in her twisted way, but he always got the feeling Yukizome was the one that amused her most. Even more than Izuru.
“She’ll be there, right? She never left Munakata’s side, not after all the brainwashing.” Kazuichi waves both hands around his head as if trying to give them a front row demonstration.
“True. She’ll be there… We’ll need to account for anything she could mess with.” At this point, he has no idea how she’ll react to them. She’s a smart woman though and her despair will make her want to stay on Munakata’s good side so she can keep sowing seeds of discourse. Even if she did still believe they were in despair there's no certainty that she would help them in any way.
“If we’re saving Makoto then I want to save Yukizome.”
“Save her? How?”
His mind races trying to piece things together. Dealing with Munakata was one thing but touching Yukizome was another. If there’s one thing he knows about people - even logical ones - it’s that they lose their minds when it comes to the people they love. Trying to do anything to Yukizome is going to ruin their relationship with Munakata before things have even begun.
“We’re all here, aren’t we. Alter Ego is still right there. If this is successful and you do whatever nonsense you’re planning then we’ll be free from the Future Foundation. We can capture Yukizome and drag her back here to sort out her head.” Fire begins to burn in Fuyuhikos words. They aren’t even pretending to whisper now. Fuyuhiko dramatically points to the room behind them all as he speaks, causing Hajime to instinctively press a hand against his pocket.
“After everything she did for us, she deserves to be freed just like us.” Kazuichi unconsciously switches on the puppy dog eyes, as if that of all things is going to sway Hajime.
They do have a point though. They managed to all free themselves of Junko so she should be given the same chance. This is their redemption so if they’re going to help Makoto it’s unfair to not help her. Out of everyone in the entire world, they’re the ones that understand what she’s going through best of all. If they can help her then they should do everything in their power to help.
“Okay. We’ll capture her and do our best to help her.” Saying the words out loud is like speaking it into being. Binding them into a contract together. However it’s not one he’s planning of backing out on any time soon.
“Thanks. I know you don’t know her but she means a lot to us.” Kazuichi’s comment almost makes him laugh.
“I might not know what you went through with her but I have heard your stories more than once. I know full well how important she was to you all. So did Junko…” Almost all their school stories started and ended with Yukizome. Hell, they talk about her more than they do their own parents most the time. He’s not dumb enough to forget what that means even if years have passed since any of them interacted with her.
But even though Hajime had agreed to Fuyuhiko’s plan, he still shift about uncomfortably. Scratching at his arm, “I still don’t like this plan - it’s got too many holes.”
He can’t say he likes it either but you work with what you have. Dire situations don’t leave much room for being comfortable, “Without more information I have nothing to work with. All my data is months old now and in a world like this a lot can change in that short amount of time.”
“If you could get into their security system and listen to them you think you could come up with a better plan?” Kazuichi mumbles, not quite looking at either of them but staring at something far off in the distance. staring directly through them.
“Undoubtedly.” He doesn’t even waste a second before replying, “Data is crucial to creating an accurate analysis. Do you think you can get us in?”
“I’ll need to check the boat we’re using but I think so.”
“That’s gre -”
Fuyuhiko begins to speak but before any of them can say anything at all, a shadowy figure appears at the end of the corridor. As it gets closer and closer he begins to notice the two neat braids either side of the figures head. And the stilted cold way they smile. Peko. So she really wasn’t in the room?
“Ah there you are. Oh, Kazuichi and Hajime.” She looks them both up and down. Sizing them up. Considering they’re all living together he’s almost offended at the surprise in her voice.
“Hey Peko. Is everything sorted?” Fuyuhiko stands up straight, as if to attention, and clears his throat.
She nods robotically, thankfully the awkward smile dissipates as she does, “Yes. I have done as you asked.”
“Nice. Let’s go then. We’ll catch you later.”
Just like that, he waves at them both and drags Peko into the room with him. Almost slamming the door in their face. The behaviour only makes Hajime raises his eyebrows even more. It seems almost out of character. What the hell is going on here…
“See ya.” Poor Kazuichi is left waving at the door solemnly. Whispering to the wooden surface as if Fuyuhiko is somehow going to hear. But after a few seconds he straightens up and clears his throat, “I should go too and check the boat. Do you want to come with me?”
Every cell in his body wants to go. He needs to see what the mechanic is going to try and if it will work. But he knows that’s not where he’s needed. With time as short as it is, they can only do what little they can, “Sorry, I need to check on how Kazuma is doing. They need to get some rest and the boats could be coming at any second.”
“That makes sense. You know where to find me.” Kazuichi tries to smile but it doesn’t even reach his eyes. Stilted and feeble. Standing on it’s very last legs. It’s not like Hajime can drop everything just because he’s a little sad though. Kazuichi will do fine. He always does.
Before he can turn away, Hajime reaches a hand forward and clamps down on his shoulder. Locking eyes, “Good luck.”
“Thanks. I’m going to need it.”
And with that they part ways. Each of them heading off in a different direction. He heads to his room to grab the last of his things as Kazuichi heads off towards the stairwell.
The entire time an ominous feeling of dread pushed down on him. But he has no idea what is causing it. Everything. Nothing. Just a visceral gut reaction. But no matter how much he looks around, everything is still and perfect. The image of the eye of a storm comes to mind but it’s too late to do anything about it all now. They just have to make do with what they have and push onward.
It’s all going to be fine.
Right?
~~~
01/06 - 17:54
He hasn’t drunk any coffee today but as he sits in front of the radar, he leg bounces over and over. Tapping with the furious beat of his heart. After four hours of sitting here you would think all the tension would have burnt away but apparently not. It still feels like a million needles are stabbing into every piece of his skin. Digging deep deep down. Cutting hard and fast.
At his side, Kazuma is draped over a chair. Head hanging down as they snore loudly. In normal circumstances he might find the noise grating and painful, but right now its almost comforting.
The sounds of the doctors running from place to place has died down, leaving the same still silence that permeates their own floor behind. The sound of snoring is about the only company he has in the dark room.
He almost wonders if they’re all right. Maybe they should just make their move now. Sail out and take their chances. After all, how long have they already wasted sat here. But pure stubbornness keeps him rooted to his chair. Furiously tapping away as he keeps his eyes locked with the radar.
He’s so out of it that when small blips do begin popping up on the surface he almost assumes he’s hallucinating. He wouldn’t put it past himself at this point. But no matter how much he blinks, the lights stay right there.
Reaching out a hand to the side, while not tearing his eyes away from the screen, he tries to shake Kazuma awake. Not daring to raise his voice above a whisper.
“Kazuma!” He shakes harder, “Kazuma, wake up! Do you see this?” He shakes even harder now, practically yanking Kazuma out of their chair.
“Huh? What?” They blearily mumble. Doing all they can to keep themselves from falling onto the floor.
“Do you see that?” He hisses. Only now does he dare avert his eyes as he tries to stare down Kazuma.
“I…” They blink for a few seconds before their mouth drops open, “Oh my god. It’s here, isn’t it? This is it.”
Hajime can’t even force out words. He simply jumps to his feet and drags Kazuma along with him. Still not quite believing himself, he drags them both towards the stairwell. But instead of heading down towards everyone else, they both sprint up to the roof. Neither needing to even exchange words to know what they’re doing.
Slamming open the door they both race across the rooftop. Barreling into the railing that surrounds the edge of the barrier, they stare out at the water ahead of them. Eyes scanning the horizon line, they search out the ships which must be drifting towards them right now. Sure enough, small dots are visible. Slowly growing larger and larger.
“Holy shit…” Kazuma mutters breathily. Mouth hanging open and hand balanced on their brow to shield their eyes as they stare out at the mess lying before them both.
His heart stops at the mere sight. An entire fleet. They’ve sent out an entire fleet. Well if they didn’t know what the Future Foundation thought about them before then they certainly know now. In a way this is probably good. They wanted to draw as many forces out of the building as possible and this is certainly quite a few ‘soldiers’ they no longer have to distract. The real issue will be trying to get around all the damn ships.
“Holy shit is right… I’m starting to regret this plan.” He mumbles a little too honestly. He’s not really sure why he says it at all. The thundering in his chest leading instead of his head.
“Don’t tell the others that. They’re right on our doorstep now so we need all the confidence we can get. You must have an ‘ultimate actor’ talent or something right?” They pause, waiting for Hajime to nods along, “Then we just put on a show. It’ll make them feel better even if it’s a lie.”
“You’re right.” He sighs, resetting his expression and sucking in as much air as possible. Time to be confident. He has luck, this will all go well. It will all go well. He refuses to believe any differently.
Letting his expression harden, he nods sternly and gently nudges Kazuma’s shoulder, “Time to gather everyone on the ship then. You head straight down and check everything is good with Kazuichi and I’ll force everyone downstairs.”
“Okay. Good luck.” Kazuma mirrors his expression. As they turn to leave they clap Hajime on the back. Jolting him forward awkwardly.
Together they run back towards the door. Kazuma holding the door open as Hajime can sprint straight downstairs without needing to stop for a moment. He runs faster than he’s ever run before. Not even doubting his ability to safely traverse the stairs. In the background he can just about make out the sound of Kazuma following behind him but he tunes it all out. All of his brain power is focused solely on his mission.
The only time he slows down is when he approaches the door at the foot of the stairs. But even then he barges through as quickly as he can. Wincing slightly as he hears the door crash into the wall with a loud bang. He doesn’t let that slow him down though.
Instead he runs at top speed down the corridor. The rest of the world looking like nothing more than a blur as he slides across the smooth floors. As he rounds the corner into the communal area he almost slips, smashing into the door frame, but even that can’t stop him. Not when he can hear his heart pulsating in his head and he can feel every rush of blood flooding through him. Adrenaline burning hot in every blood vessel in his body.
In the back of his mind he’s vaguely aware that he’s lightly panting as he slams himself into the first door. Knocking on the door almost hard enough to punch through the wood itself. He can hear the cracking as sharp as a bell but that isn’t enough to stop him.
“GET TO THE SHIP!” He yells at the top of his lungs as he runs to each door. Knocking on each one with the same level of ferocity he had been using before, “SHIP! NOW!”
One by one he sees people beginning to pop out of their rooms. Some of them shaking. Others putting on very convincing looking mask. The only consistent thing is how they’re all jogging or running out of their rooms as fast as they can. Some, like Hiyoko, still in the middle of tying up their hair. The one side tied up and one side hanging down look isn’t her best one.
He counts each of them as they pass. Keeping track of each and every name to be certain they have absolutely everyone. Sonia. Akane. Fuyuhiko. Peko. Mahiru. Hiyoko. Ibuki. Mikan. Gundham. Nekomaru. Teruteru. Even Nagito. They all spill out and vanish off as fast as they can.
All but Nagito.
With the same god awful cheery smile on his face he saunters out. Lacking the desperate running everyone else has been utilising. Even when everyone elses footsteps have disappeared completely, he still lingers. Hanging back near the communal area, looking back and locking eyes with Hajime.
“Are you coming Hajime?” Nagito asks, his head cocked slightly.
Scratching his arm, he pauses for a moment before speaking, “Yeah, I’m alright. I just need to grab something. You don’t need to wait for me.”
Nagito nods like he understands but still lingers by the doorway anyway. He doesn’t have the energy or time to fight with Nagito though. And it doesn’t really matter either way. Nagito’s eyes follow him the entire time until he’s disappeared into his room.
It’s strange to think that he’s likely never going to come back here. It’s not like he loved this room or anything but it had become a stable constant in his life these last few days and weeks. Constants aren’t something he’s gotten used to yet. It seems he doesn’t need to get used to them either since even this one will go too now.
This isn’t the time to be getting sentimental. He shakes his head clear and races over to the dresser where the galaga pin is still sitting. Almost completely untouched where it sits beside Chiaki’s folder. Shoving the pin into his jean pockets he flees the room. The tough plastic clinking softly against the USB stick which is still hidden away. In the back of his mind he knows he could have put them in separate pockets - in fact he probably should have. But it just feels fitting this way.
For a split second he grabs the file, weighing it up in his hands. He could bring this. It’s not like it would take up much space. But it’s not like they need it. Still he struggles to actually set it down. Eventually he manages to pry it off of himself and throws it across the room until it bounces softly onto the bed.
He never looks back. He just storms out of the room and grabs onto Nagito’s arm. The door doesn’t even close behind him but that doesn’t matter anymore. After a few steps Nagito begins to match his pace and Hajime releases him. Together they race down the stairs. Taking them two at a time as he flies down. Before he knows it they’re aboard the ship with everyone else. And their journey into darkness begins.
Chapter 39: 2nd of June
Summary:
Class 77 finally land on the battle torn docks
Notes:
So this chapter has the worlds most inaccurately lengthed boat trip. I didn't want to make this chapter any longer as it's already decently long and to make the length of the trip somewhat accurate then they'd need to board the boat early this morning (because we see the sun rising in the anime) instead of the evening before. But it's fanfic so who cares how long the boat trip is...right? Let's just pretend they had to sail verrrrrry slowly to stop themselves getting caught. Sure, that's not how boats works, but Danganronpa is hardly realistic.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
02/06 - 03:00
“There…” Hajime leans back with a smile. Beads of sweat still sat on his forehead. Sighing as he rings his hands and finally lets himself relax.
Both him and Sonia have been packed into the tiny room which serves as the bridge for the last hour. Without enough space to stand side by side, they had resorted to having Sonia sit on the control panel - doing her best to avoid hitting any buttons - while Hajime crouches on the ground playing with the wires. Only now does he pull his head out from under the console to grin up at Sonia. Relief overwhelming his features.
Now he’s sitting up he can peek out of the glass window once more to examine the deck of the ship once more. Studying the others stood in the rain as they gradually approach their destination. Nekomaru, Akane, Fuyuhiko and Peko are all stood against the railing. Hair soaked through but none of them even shiver. At this point the rain can do nothing more to them.
From this angle he can’t see Kazuichi but he gets the feeling he’s still probably slumped on the deck where him and Sonia had left him. He’d tried his best to try and help Hajime but there was only so much he could do when he looked like he was about to throw up at any second. Both of them had needed to literally shove him out of the room and lock the door to keep him from filling the already small room with the scent of vomit.
Thankfully everyone else had been smart enough to duck inside, all squishing into the ‘sleeping room’ as best they can. Although he gets the distinct feeling that none of them will be sleeping tonight. Not when their goal is visible on the horizon now. The tall building lit up in the night like a lighthouse calling them. However in this moment with the red alarm lights switched on he can’t help but think of hellfire burning in the darkness of the night.
“Are you done?” Sonia wriggles on the control panel as she tries to peek over Hajime to get a look at his handiwork. Every limb vibrating dangerously as she forces Hajime’s eyes away from the ominous building ahead of them.
“Yeah, should be all good now.” Hajime smacks the side of the console proudly. Wincing a little at the sound as he comes to his senses. He better not have just fucked things up…if this gets damaged he has no idea what they’ll do.
“Let us see what we can find then.”
“Lets.”
He does his best to force a grin but there is only so long it can last for. With the bright lights flashing in the room and the sound of their breaths filling his ears, there’s little he can do to settle his racing heart. Despite his best attempts to hide it, there is no mistaking the layer of sweat covering his palms.
Even as he begins fiddling with the screen on the control panel he has no idea what he’s going to see. Bracing himself as he tentatively pokes at the wires until it comes to life. Lighting up with blurry images that flicker uneasily on the screen.
They aren’t exactly clear - in fact far from it - but they are clear enough to make out a few things at least. Audio crackles faintly but the room on the screen is silent so there’s nothing more than the sound of static softly humming.
“So this is the security footage from in the building?” Sonia’s gaze drifts between the building and the screen. As if comparing the two. Her brow furrowed in an expression he has come to recognise as her focused look.
“That’s the one. We should be getting all the feeds from the building now. We just need to scroll thr -” Hajime flickers between a few different cameras haphazardly until he stops in his tracks. His hand shaking weakly as he holds onto the controller, “What the actual fuck?!”
Hajime doesn’t need to say anything more though, because she’s already seen it too. The corpse of Seiko Kimura pressed up against a wall. Blood still trickling down her body. The camera quality might be shit, but even so he can tell that the blood is fresh. It might as well be steaming as it drips down methodically.
“Wh-What am I s-seeing…? That cannot b-be!” Sonia’s breath catches in her throat as she purses her lips. Her breath stuttering as she back away. Slamming into the door as her skull thuds dully. He has no idea when she even started standing up, it’s only now that she drifts into his vision once more.
After everything they’ve seen he’s almost shocked that Sonia of all people is reacting this way. But he supposes they weren’t prepared for anything like this. Especially not here and now when the despairs should all be long gone.
Well…almost all of them.
His hands clench into tight fists as he can feel his heart hammering faster and faster. Thoughts racing across his brain as fast as humanly possible. Swamping him as he struggles to simply keep his head above the water.
“You’re not hallucinating. I see it too.”
He grabs a tight hold on his faculties and shuffles over in the cramped space to place himself between Sonia and the screen. Blocking it from her view the only way he knows how. His hand settling on the controls so he can flick through the screens again. Another dead body. And another. And another. They’re everywhere. The whole building is infested, “It’s like they’re all killing each other?”
After the fifth dead body he blinks and turns around. Coming face to face with Sonia. Her skin is pale and gaunt as her eyes bulge out of his head. Hajime could swear he can just about hear her teeth chattering as she curls in on herself. Beyond them both, through the glass in the door, he can see the others still happily stood out in the rain. Oblivious. Staring off into the distance completely unaware of what they’ve just uncovered.
“K-Killing each other?” Sonia stutters through the chattering. Tightening her grip on her arms to pull them close around herself, “B-But why? There should be no reason for such things to happen now!”
“I can’t be sure but it certainly seems that way. You know as much as I do…” He’s seen more than enough of this stuff to start noticing the signs. As much as he wishes he could provide the answers she’s looking for, there is only so much he can do.
“You do not think that…” Sonia hisses quietly, as if sharing some kind of forbidden secret. But she can’t even bring herself to finish her own sentence. Too wracked with fear as her throat begins to swell up.
But even if she doesn’t finish her question she doesn’t need to for him to know exactly what she’s asking. The question pressing on the edge of his mind too. Tightening around his throat. Drawing the very breath from his lungs.
“No… She can’t still be around. She’s dead. And I mean dead.”
This feels exactly like the sort of thing she would do but there’s no way in hell that she’s still alive. They’ve seen her body - more than once - and torn it apart in search of scrap organs they could still use. He had been able to smell the rancid odor of her rotting flesh. The metallic tang of her blood. The messy soup that survived. No one - not even Junko - survives that. And he was the one who made her AI, there’s no way it could upload itself all the way over here. He had been sure to check that the USB had been purged so not a single trace of code is left.
But if it isn’t her then what the hell is going on? Yukizome? She’s the only one left who still works for Junko. Maybe she heard that everyone else failed and took things into her own hands. But that only leaves more questions. And questions he doesn’t think he wants answers to.
“However it would not be the first time that she has alluded death. Perhaps once more she has -”
“With my help.” He keeps his voice rock solid as he cuts off her thought process at the root. If there’s one thing he knows then it’s this, “She couldn’t bring herself back again without me helping her and I’m sure as hell not helping her again. Not after everything.”
“I…I believe you. But if it is not her then what could be the cause of this destruction?”
“I have no idea…” It feels wrong to say out loud but there’s nothing else he can say. He’s been out of the loop for far too long. Cogs are turning and he doesn’t even know how they click together anymore.
Once upon a time he had asked for the world to be less boring. Be careful what you wish for he supposes….
Sonia presses a shaking hand to the wall as she tries to support herself. Her legs threatening to collapse under her at any second as she used her other hand to point a trembling finger at the screen, “We are bringing the others into this situation. We are leading them into the middle of this death!”
“Yes we are.”
“But…but” Sonia’s voice wobbles but even she can’t seem to summon the words. Fumbling over herself as she tries (and fails) to find a solution to this.
They knew there was a high chance they weren’t going to make it out of this alive. It’s not like this should change anything, not really. And yet that does very little to ease the thick tension smothering them here and now. Knowing it in the back of your mind and seeing it before your very eyes is a different thing.
“Think of it this way, there are less people for us to deal with now.” He can feel himself wincing even as he speaks but he can’t deny that it’s the truth. The future foundation has already done all the hard work for them.
Unfortunately, of course, Sonia doesn’t quite see it the same way as she blanches even more and hunches over. Her free hand now pressing into her chest - right over where her heart lies - as if that will somehow ease the frantic beats.
“You know what?” He reaches out and sets a comforting hand on Sonia’s shoulder, “You should let everyone else know what we’ve seen as I comb through the screens to see if I can figure out what’s been going on.”
It’s a bit of a transparent excuse but Sonia is either not in the right head space to notice or she is simply grateful to not have to look at any of this. Without another word of complaint she wobbles out of the room. The door gently clicks closed behind her, sealing in Hajime alone.
It’s fine. Sonia doesn’t need to be here for this; this is Hajime’s job. And he’s not going to fail this time.
Grabbing a nearby pen and notepad, he begins taking notes. Writing down everything he can see and everything he overhears. All the details they spout out not even considering that someone could be watching. And piece by piece he formulates a plan.
~~~
02/06 - 04:44
Groaning, he leans back in his chair, flicking through the pages of his notebook. Reams and reams of text fill the pages. Jotted down in the smallest hand writing he can manage but still spilling out over pages and pages. In the background he can just about hear people scurrying about the ship as they get closer and closer to their destination.
The once small tower on the horizon now towers over them. A giant shadow cast heavily over them all. The only respite from the darkness are the blaring lights that still flash all over the building. Now that they’re closer it’s clear to see the building had been badly damaged. Already sinking into the sea slightly as if something had dragged it down deep.
It’ll only be minutes until they dock now. He can already hear the chatter of gunfire up ahead and the loud whirring of helicopters overhead. After staring at it all on a screen for so long, it feels surreal to almost be amongst it all. His brain still hasn’t quite caught up with everything that happened. But if he wants to be of any help to anyone then he needs to pull himself together ASAP.
Part of him still wants to stay here and focus on the screen for as long as he can but he’s seen everything he needs to for now. Instead his focus should be on the rest of his classmates. He only has a few minutes to fill them in on everything that’s happened and that feels like far less than he’s going to need… Beggars can’t be choosers though.
Stretching out he holds his notebook tightly in an attempt to shelter it from the rain he’s about to step into. Gritting his teeth he yanks the door open and steps out onto the deck of the ship.
Everyone is gathered on the main deck now. Huddled around on the small outcrops which form a rudimentary bench. There isn’t loads of space so they’re all cramped in like sardines but given the weather it’s probably better this way. At least that’s what he tells himself.
The sound of gunfire is even louder out here. With every shot, they flinch back. Hands flying over their heads as they shuffle in. Teruteru is shaking so fast it’s almost hard to see. His entire body curled up in a ball as he wheezes. Each shot sends a ripple down his spine and his muscles so contract to make him form an even smaller ball.
Sonia does her best too soothe him with a shaky hand but he only flinches more with her every movement. He looks seconds away from actually passing out. The rain only making him look smaller as his clothes stick to him and his hair clings to his face. More like a drowned cat than anything else.
“What the fucks goin’ on?” Akane shouts as a helicopter whizzes by overhead. Guns aimed at the building as they shoot hails of bullets into the side of the wall.
“I’ll make this as brief as I can. The Future Foundation has been killing themselves because of the same kind of brainwashing video that Junko used on you all. There’s barely anyone left in there now.” They all stiffen at the mention of the video. He doesn’t need to be a mind reader to know exactly what they’re all thinking right about now.
“That doesn’t exactly explain all of this.” Fuyuhiko gestures at the chaos ahead of them with both hands. Arms flailing about as he creates wide sweeping circles. Only just avoiding smacking Peko right in the face with a rogue arm movement.
“There’s a whole situation going on and it all centers around one person. Ryota Mitarai.”
As if moving in sync, they all turn to look at Kazuma at once. All except Mikan who stares down at her own hands. Picking at her fingernails as if she’s trying to tear them out with all her strength. To give Kazuma credit, they don’t balk under the weight of the gazes. In fact, if anything, they seem to sit up straighter. Eye burning hotter as they jut their chin out slightly. Resolve hardening across their entire body.
“Ryota? What does it have to do with him?” Kazuma does their best to sound impartial but they can all see through then. They might be a good actor but in the heat of emotions it’s impossible for anyone - even them - to be perfect.
“He’s made a video - a hope video - to brainwash everyone into living in pure hope. Two different factions within the future foundation are battling each other hence the mess happening in front of us.”
As if to prove his point, a large chunk of rubble comes flying off the building and splashing into the water to their side. A huge wave of water rushing up and dunking them all. Poor Mikan goes flying out of her seat, throwing herself onto Nekomaru before she can even realise what she’s doing.
Only Nagito doesn’t flinch. Staying rock solid as he begins to speaks, “A video of hope? Is such a thing even possible.” Nagito frowns seriously. Staring Hajime down with everything he has.
“Well if they can make a despair video it stands to reason.”
“Ryota could do it.” Kazuma doesn’t hesitate to speak. Their belief in their friend is admirable but given the circumstance not exactly ideal.
“That’s all I need to hear. I have a plan, we need to stop Mitarai as soon as we can. We only have a few minutes before that video is spread out across the world and it will be almost impossible to revert.” He barks out the orders as fast as he can.
He doesn’t need to turn around and look where they’re going to see that they’re about to dock. The growing shadow is enough of a signal for him. If they want to hit the ground running then he needs to explain this all as fast as possible.
“All of us? Not just you?” Peko mumbles as she shuffles slightly closer to Fuyuhiko. Preparing to throw herself in front of him at the first sign of danger.
“All of us. If I’m going to get through to Mitarai then I need all of you there too. He doesn’t know me,” he quickly corrects himself, “Well, he doesn’t know me in any positive way. The people who will get through to him will be the people he knows. His old class. All of us need to be there for us to get through to him.”
Even though he’s talking to everyone, he pointedly throws a glance towards Kazuma and Mikan. Out of everyone here, they’re the only two he knows that actually knew the animator. Everyone else will be nice but those two are vital for his plan.
“We need Kazuma and Mikan specifically to get there beyond everything else. Do everything in your power to get the two of them to the control room at the top of the tower as fast as possible. I’ll probably get their first but I’ll do my best to distract him for as long as I can.”
“I understand.” Kazuma nods their head dutifully.
When no one else responds he looks around once more, “Is that clear?”
No one says a word but they all nod.
“Should we all travel together then?” Sonia hums as she taps her chin. Trying to look casual despite the way her hands are still shaking, even now.
For a moment Hajime pauses, swallowing dryly as his head races at full speed. Eventually he settles his thoughts with a wobbly shake of his head, “Normally I would say yes but there are people we want to help in there. Hopefully stopping Mitarai will be enough to stop the danger but we can’t assume that.”
“So…” Fuyuhiko’s brows knit together once more as he grips the edge of his shirt, “What does that mean? Stop beating around the fucking bush.”
“I’ll head up and clear out the route as fast as I can. I’ll do my best to stall and convince Mitarai while you guys try to help as many people as you can before heading over. Between all of us we should be able to make a good dent in the number of soldiers.”
The others hardly look convinced by as the boat clunks against the dock they just purse their lips. Struggling to find a hold as they’re jerked to the side. Sonia has to reach over and grip onto Kazuichi’s limp shaky form to stop him immediately going overboard.
They’re here.
Chaos is reigning supreme as it always does, and yet here they are ready to throw their hat into the ring. Maybe they have lost their minds. But for the first time in a long time he truly feels proud of what he’s doing. And even if they’re unsuccessful, at least he can say he tried.
“Here we go then.”
Taking in a deep breath, he prepares the leave. Shaking himself down to excorsise the remaining nerves.
“Wait, before we go.” Fuyuhiko grabs onto his sleeve tightly, holding Hajime back, “Remember our promise about Miss. Yukizome. I know it might not be possible but I still want to save her.”
His heart skips a beat for a second. He has no idea what he’s supposed to say. No matter how much he scrolled through the footage, he never once saw her walking around. None of the cameras showed her at all. In a place like that with so many camera’s strewn about, he can only imagine that’s not a good thing. But should he really be telling Fuyuhiko he thinks she’s dead right now before they jump in?
“Miss Yukizome? She’s here?” Ibuki stands up like a meerkat. Expression deadly serious for once.
“It makes sense. It was foolish of her to intertwine her fate with Munakata. Merging their life lines into one.” Gundham scoffs a little.
“I…I will do what I can. But a lot of people are dead in there. You need to keep your expectations reasonable.” After a second or two, Fuyuhiko releases his arm. However even then his Fuyuhiko doesn't allow himself to relax. If anything he manages to tense his jaw further still.
Nevertheless Hajime doesn’t let himself hesitate. Instead he vaults over the side of the ship and feels his legs connect with solid ground.
It has begun.
~~~
02/06 - 05:12
Behind him he can hear gunfire but the deeper he moves into the building, the quieter it grows. It almost feels like he’s stepped into his own little bubble. Within seconds he’d lost sight of the others. Their forms getting swallowed up by the chaos of the battlefield. All spreading out in different directions.
Leaving them behind like this feels wrong in all sorts of ways but he pushes onward anyway. He has his own role to play. He needs to have faith in their abilities in practice and not just in word. The more he can clear out the hallways now, the better it will be for everyone else.
Blood thunders in his ears as he races along, bodies falling all around him as he knocks them out before they can catch sight of him moving through the darkness. With each thud he can hear his heart rate speeding up more and more.
While he did memorise the paths up the building to the best of his abilities, it still feels like a maze as he slide around the corner. Tripping and slipping on the pieces of debris now coating the once squeaky smooth floors. It’s slightly more convoluted than the cameras had lead him to believe but its nothing he can’t handle. He just continues his lonely pursuit.
Most of the halls are already destroyed. Rubble strewn all about the place. It had already been totaled before he even started watching the footage but how everything broke doesn’t really matter. It certainly makes for an atmospheric feeling if nothing else.
At first he had been running into what felt like countless guards but slowly their numbers fade until the only sound left is his own heartbeat echoing. His breaths getting more and more frantic with every passing second.
As he stumbles up the stairs he comes to a large room he clearly recognises from the footage. A giant table sits in the center with a chandelier crashed right in the middle. There's something eerie about the silence in the room. An unnatural stillness. Not just that though, there’s also the strong metallic scent lingering in the air even now. The sort of scent that’s unmistakable at this point. The kind of smell that lingers in your nose long after you’ve left the room.
Even though his mission is still a heavy presence in his mind, that doesn’t seem to make a difference. Instead his body reacts on it’s own, slowing down as his breathing gets louder. Drowing out even the sound of his blood pulsating in his skull.
He never saw a body in this room but as he rounds the table he notices a figure hidden underneath a jacket. Her legs and arms just about visible but everything else covered up by the fabric. Speckles of pinks are seeping into the floor from whatever injury killed her.
Yukizome…
He can’t see her hair or face but he can already tell it’s her. This was definitely a possibility in his mind but he had really hoped he would be proven wrong. Hope wasn’t enough though.
Plucking up his courage he reaches down and lifts the jacket off of her cold rigid body. Sure enough he’s greeted by the sight of her orange hair splayed out around her. Dirt, grime and blood mixed in with the tangled strands.
He’s seen more than his fair share of dead bodies but for some reason this one feels like a kick in the gut. His stomach churns painfully. Crumpling up his nose he tries to keep down the feeling of vomit in the back of his throat. Static filling his mind, stuffing up his head until he can barely even remember why he’s here anymore.
He’s about to toss the jacket back over her when his arm freezes in its position. He cocks his head a little to the side, trying to get a better view of her face one last time. It’s not the first time he’s seen her but for some reason it feels like the first time he’s actually looked at her. She looks so…young. She can’t be more than a few years older than him but she’s ended up here, laying deathly still.
As he stares down at her, another blurry scene comes into his mind. He can see Yukizome leaning towards him, her finger held up in front of his face. They’re sat in front of a fountain and while he doesn’t remember this memory at all, he most certainly remembers that fountain. Hope’s Peak Academy.
Frowning and screwing his eyes closed he tries to remember what she’s saying but it feels just out of reach. No matter how much he reaches forward, it’s always drifting just out of reach. Her words on the tip of his tongue. Yet even just the sight of the memory sends a flash of warmth coursing through him.
“Sensei…” He sighs, forcing his eyes open. Looking her up and down once more, all he can see is the quickly drying blood that has seeped through her clothes. Her skin far paler here than it is in his memories.
Stood here he is hit by the overwhelming desire to say something to her. To explain himself. But he doesn’t know what he would say. He’s not like the others. The only slight memory he has of the woman as she truly was might not even be real. Just a fuzzy image in the dark corner of his mind.
But he can’t make himself leave. Although he refuses to look at her, not wanting to see the wound on her stomach, he still stands right there, frozen as he stares at the wall opposite. In the back of his mind he’s still aware of the countdown which is slowly ticking away but it’s like his body has a mind of his own.
Just like before when he came face to face with Chiaki in that dim hallway as she bled out, his eyes begin to fill with hot stinging tears. For once he wishes he would just know why he’s reacting this way. Why his body is betraying him in this way.
Before he realises it, he’s whispering in the darkness. Speaking to the dead woman he barely even remembers, “I’ve finally found whats important. Talent doesn’t matter… That wasn’t the end goal.” He mutters softly, furiously blinking away his tears, “But… I don’t mind who I am now. Sure, because of my power, I’ve done terrible things. But because of my power I was able to bring everyone back. When you think of it that way, it isn’t so bad. If you want to make a miracle happen, you can, right?”
It feels oddly freeing to say that out loud. He doesn’t mind who he is… In truth, he still doesn’t even know who he is at all. But of all the people he has been in his life, for once he feels like he’s moving towards something on his own. Taking steps without a leash around his neck.
She’ll never get that chance now though.
If he had just done something would she still be alive? Based on the condition of her body this can’t have all happened more than a few hours ago. What if he had reacted differently yesterday morning? They could have immediately headed for this place instead of waiting for a better time. If they had could they have prevented whatever happened here? Or was it too late for his friends old teacher from the beginning.
Coughing softly, he blinks and furiously rubs down his eyes. Scraping every droplet of moisture off his skin. Scrubbing until nothing is left but the pink flare of his skin and red vein popping in his eyes.
“This is stupid…you aren’t even listening to this.” He laughs but the silence that follows is only heavier, “I should probably go now. I have to save the world or whatever. One of those good things I can do with my power now. I don’t really remember you but from the stories everyone has told me you would probably be proud of that. If you even knew me at all.”
Sighing he knows he has no excuses left. He needs to leave and do what he came here to do. But every step feels heavy. Like he’s being dragged backwards. Still chained down to the corpse behind him.
“I’ll remember you at some point, I promise. You and Chiaki. I couldn’t save you but I’ll do that at the very least…” His mouth opens and shuts for a few seconds. Gaping like a fish that’s slowly writhing on the solid ground. And then he simply turns around and leaves the room. Drying his eyes one last time, “Goodbye Yukizome.”
He refuses to look back again. He can feel every inch he’s putting between himself and the body but he fights every urge in his body to return to her side. This isn’t the time for his emotions to take control. The fate of the world is relying on him. If he’s working on not minding who he is now then he needs to do this one basic thing.
With a newfound determination, he grits his teeth and storms forward. Stepping out through the broken wall to stand on a rocky pathway that leads around the outside of the building. Rubble still scattered everywhere but at least it makes for a nice little walkway now.
Up this high the wind blows violently, almost knocking him aside. He simply widens his stance. Refusing to be budged from where he stands. Down below he can still hear the battle raging. Some familiar voices shouting out in the distance. But even that isn’t enough to pull him away now. Not now he’s on his war path. He’s already wasted enough time.
He’s been so alone traversing up the building that it almost feels strange to see living breathing people again. Soliders covered in thick armour. Their faces hidden as they bark orders. Waving their guns around like stubborn children.
He’s not even listening to their words. He’s just pushing further and further forwards. Not even bothering to run. Simply strolling across the rubble towards the guard. Beyond them he can see his goal. Close enough to taste at this point.
All of them raise their guns at him, barking out some orders that he completely blocks out.
“Move please.” He mumbles as he keeps moving forwards. But that only makes them angrier as they furiously wave their little guns around.
Well they can’t say he didn’t warn them…
He hears the crack of the gun before anything else. Without even blinking he ducks out of the way, feeling the bullets whizz overhead. They catch on his hair slightly but he doesn’t flinch. Instead he runs straight forward and kicks out his leg. Swiping at the legs of the nearest guard. As soon as the guard begins to fall, Hajime grabs his shoulders and pulls him around to form a shield between Hajime and the other guards.
Looking between themselves, they hesitate for just a second as they’re forced face to face with their little buddy. That moments hesitation is all he needs.
Before any of them can react he twists the gun out of the hand of the guard he’s holding. Gripping it with a single hand he unloads the clip into guards in the blink of an eye. Aiming each bullet into the cracks of the armour around the neck.
In a split second they’re down on the ground. Blood spilling out from their throats across the rubble until it has formed a river that trickles down the edge of the building. Their very life dripping down onto the broken concrete far far below.
The guard he’s holding onto pushes against his feverishly. Trying to break free from Hajime’s iron grip. With the helmet in the way he can’t make out the guards expression but based on his panting and movements he already knows everything he needs to. He’s seen this expression more than once.
It isn’t going to be enough to save the mans life though.
“Sorry. I’m in a hurry and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.” He sighs and throws the man to the ground.
But instead of running off to save his own life, he begins crawling through the hot sticky blood to grab one of his friends guns. Predictable as ever. It’s almost like he doesn’t want to live.
His death is sealed at that moment. The guard might be fast, but Hajime is faster. The guard just about manages to grab a gun but by the time he’s turned around to shoot Hajime, he already has a gun of his own. He doesn’t even get to take a breath before the bullet has left the chamber. Digging straight into his neck just like all the others. His dying gargle is all that’s left as his blood mingles with that of his colleagues.
All five dead bodies lay splayed out. Still pulsating blood even as he stands there. The sea growing deeper and deeper.
He knows he should probably feel worse but he’s killed far more people than this. And for once there was a decent justification for it. Besides, if he curls up into a ball and sinks into regret right now he’ll just be wasting more time. Instead he shoves the thoughts of the bodies aside and steps over the pink sea towards the building ahead of him.
Taking the gun out he opens fire on the sealed metal door ahead of him, laying into it with a hail of bullets. As soon as the bullets have run out he chucks the gun over his shoulder as he barrels into the door with his shoulder. His shoulder tears through the metal, bending and smashing it as he storms through. The door falls away, kicking up debris and dust around it as it collapses onto the perforated steel flooring in the room beyond. It clatters with a loud noise, as if announcing his entrance like a bright beacon.
As the dust settles, he catches sight of the man of the moment. Mitarai had seemingly been hunched over the monitor a few seconds ago but he’s not flinching back, turned to face Hajime as he slowly saunters through the room towards the other boy - or he supposes man now...
He had briefly caught sight of the room on the security footage but it somehow looks even stranger in real life. White walls and metal as far as the eye can see. A true sci-fi looking base.
In the center of the rounded room is a large white pillar which is surrounded by monitors on all side. Like a blaring beacon. The only thing connecting the pillar to the rest of the room are long perforated steel walkways. The walkway forms a circle all the way around the edge of the room while four thin strips lead from the outer circle to the inner one that surrounds the pillar. Truly one of the most boring rooms he’s had the pleasure to enter and he’s been living in rubble cities for the last few years.
“Wh-What’s going on?!” Mitarai whimpers, curling in on himself and he backs further and further into the console behind him. Taking slow steps, Hajime moves closer but there’s no where for Mitarai to run. All he can do is shrink down on himself.
“Hey, Mitarai.”
He looks almost identical to how he’d looked last time they came face to face. Most people look worse for wear after everything but there wasn’t much lower for Mitarai to go. He’s still as stick thin as ever, hair stringy and poorly maintained. Not to mention the thick dark bags that hang under his eyes. Sticking out like a sore thumb against his almost translucent, pale skin. Lips are cracked and bleeding somewhat as he chews on them nervously.
Years have passed but right now it feels like they’re right back in Hope’s Peak. Him cowering away in front of a screen. People closing in on him from all sides. It’s like taking a step right back in time. The thought alone is enough to make him want to laugh.
“Izuru Kamukura…” Mitarai’s teeth chatter slightly but he pulls himself upwards. Standing between Hajime and the screen. Hajime isn’t too sure what he thinks he’s going to do. He must see the bodies splayed out beyond the doorway. He gets the feeling Mitarai also has no idea what he’s doing though, “I will protect this hope. I’m sick of sadness and pain! A world without despair is almost upon us!”
Sighing he grinds to a halt, giving the Mitarai the space he so desperately needs, “How boring.” He slumps forwards slightly, “You won’t feel pain or sadness, even if you lose people you care for. Is that…Is that the hope you’re thinking of?” Hajime raises one eyebrow. Praying that Mitarai will snap out of this long enough to just consider the implications of what he’s saying. It’s not like he’s dumb. Naive? Maybe. Definitely. But not completely dumb.
Instead he just spits out, “Someone strong like you could never understand! We’re all weak!”
Strong? Him? If only that was really the case.
He hangs his head slightly. Shaking his head unconsciously. But as soon as he does so, he begins to hear the soft clicking of footsteps behind him. Not just one set either. He counts each set he hears, as they begin to filter in behind him. Eleven, twelve, thirteen. Everyone.
When he finally raises his head, he’s greeted by the sight of his classmates stood around him. All lining up around the edge of the room. Forcing smiles.
They look a little worse for wear, Fuyuhiko’s eye patch missing and blood trickling down Mikan’s arm, not to mention the thick layer of grime and dust which now covers every inch of their skin. But they’re all in one piece. No one is missing. For the first time the entire 77th class is together. Mitarai stood amongst the class he never got to meet.
Well almost everyone… The bodies of Yukizome and Chiaki still seared into his mind even now.
In front of him, Mitarai’s gaze is finally torn away from Hajime as he examines the people in front of him. All beaten up - not the same children they had been in school - but still there. Stood strong and determined in front of him. An immovable force.
With the others support behind him, he takes a single step forward. Holding his head high, “I’m not strong either… That’s why I have regrets. So do you, right?” He tilts his head slightly to the side. Softening his gaze and he reaches out to the other man.
At this point in time he’s not even sure what ‘strong’ is meant to mean. It’s just a word people say. Meaningless amongst everything else. Wouldn’t Nagito be strong to still be here after everything he’s lost? What about Chiaki in those last moments? Or all those times Hiyoko willingly stood in the same room as Mikan? Or Mahiru with Fuyuhiko and Peko? What about Nekomaru? What about Akane? It feels hollow. Just something people say who don’t know what it actually means to be strong.
The only one who truly isn’t strong is himself. If he had been strong he wouldn’t be stood here like this right now. With crappy dyed hair and a scar cutting through his skull.
Something about Hajime’s words hits home as Mitarai lowers his head. Hands clutching at his arm; picking at the skin desperately as if trying to peel back the layers until he’s nothing but bones.
“Yeah…I do have regrets. I was the one who enabled Junko to make her despair video! So many people died because of me! Even now, every day…they’re still dying! If it weren’t for me, wouldn’t you have had a peaceful, happy school life too? It was all because I ran…. It’s my fault!” He frantically looks around at all the faces staring at him. All cutting through into his soul. Refusing to let him hide away.
“If you want to think that way, go ahead. That’s why you’re eliminating despair, right? You want to turn the world into a blank slate and pretend nothing happened?” He takes another single step forward.
It’s the same thing he’s always been doing. Hiding away. The world isn’t that easy though. When you do bad things you can’t click undo, now matter how much you want to.
“Don’t run away.” He pleads desperately. Gritting his teeth and refusing to take his eyes off of Mitarai.
Even from over here, there is no missing the sight of Mitarai digging his nails deeper into his arm. Small beads of blood just about visible as he cuts through the thin skin, “You’re alright with this? Because of me… Because of Enoshima…you turned into despair…” Hajime almost wants to laugh at that.
He sure is giving himself a lot of credit. Was his brainwashing powerful? Maybe. But out of everyone here, he was the one who got to see her before Mitarai was even on her radar. It might not have been for long but even that one meeting made it obvious that it would have ended the same way regardless. She wasn’t going to give up just because she couldn’t easily brainwash people. If it hadn’t been with Mitarai’s ability it would have just been a different way. If she wanted him to then Hajime could have been the one to do it instead.
“Sure, I’d like to be rid of the past. But I can’t.” After everything they’ve done they don’t even deserve to get rid of the past. They need to live with what they did to grow from it, “I can’t pretend Chiaki never existed. Thanks to her we’re alive right now. I can’t pretend none of that ever happened.”
“We survived. So we must atone for our sins.” Nekomaru reflects Hajime’s own words back, making his heart skip a beat. A small grin fluttering onto his lips.
“That is the destiny of those who survived.” Gundham sounds oddly serious as he speaks. Missing his usual grandeur that he had come to appreciate from the man. It almost sounds naked and exposed. The sort of thing he shouldn’t be hearing.
“Atone? I can’t… There’s no way I can. No one will forgive me!” Mitarai flails about, tears spilling from his eyes. Splashing about as he whips his head around. His once pale skin has a deep red undertone now as the emotions begin to boil over painfully.
“You aren’t doing it to be forgiven.” Sonia whispers softly. Saying the unspoken. If they were just doing it to be forgiven then they would never get anywhere. But should that fact stop them from trying?
With that, Mitarai slumps over. Entirely drained and pale with wet tear track glinting in the harsh light of the room, “I don’t understand. I don’t know what to do now.”
Hajime doesn’t bother trying to hide his smile. It’s like they’re pulling the man apart piece by piece. Cutting him down to start rebuilding from scratch. At this point that’s the only way they know how.
“You were wrong. But we’re with you on that. We were all wrong.” Kazuma’s voice is steady. Certain. A rock pulling Mitarai back. As he looks up his swimming eyes drink in the sight of his old friend. A familiar and safe face amongst the sea of danger.
Thick heavy tears start falling until they almost cover his face, “No… You aren’t with me. I’ve always been alone. It’s all my fault, and mine alone!” Mitarai clutches at his chest. Digging into the skin that sits above his heart. As if trying to claw it out with his very own hands.
As he slumps there, sun begins to stream in. The first crack of dawn clawing over the horizon. Yellow light streaming in and hitting his back with the warmth. He can see his own shadow beginning to stretch out, closing the distance between himself and Mitarai.
It’s not just his shadow though. He can see the others shadows beginning to reach out. Even though he can’t turn around and look at them right now, seeing their shadows is all he needs to know they’re stood with him.
That’s why he says what he says next, “Then come with us.”
“Come with you?”
He holds out a hand, as if beckoning him forwards, “From now on we’ll be together.”
They might not have any real plans of what they’re going to do. In this world there are very few things they can control but this is the one thing they can. They can stick together. Through thick and thin stand at each others back. Hold each other together so no one else can rip them apart again.
He might not have actually discussed bringing Mitarai with them to anyone but he doesn’t need to turn around and look at their expressions to know how they’re going to respond.
“Yeah.” He can hear Kazuma’s smile in their words. Joy seeping off of the single word.
“We welcome you.” Even Sonia sounds like she’s grinning.
“Sonia’s right.” Kazuichi chuckles.
Like a choir of voices calling out across the chasm, they all begin to chant out. Welcoming their ‘new’ classmate. With each new voice, Mitarai’s lip trembles faster and faster. His skin becoming deeper and deeper red. Blinking ferociously he can’t seem to convince himself that he’s really seeing this.
“I’m in too.”
“If you want, then come.”
“The Lord of War welcomes all who would walk his path!”
“That’s great!”
“It is, isn’t it?”
“Stop sulking and come with us.”
“I agree with the young master.”
“I think you should come with us too.”
“For a while now I’ve thought that you had a shining talent.”
Rubbing his eyes with his sleeves, he soaks up as many tears as possible. Breath hitching as he tries to squeeze out a few words, “I don’t have the right…”
“You don’t need the right to be our classmate.” Hajime shakes his head without a moments hesitation.
It feels strange to imagine anyone needing the ‘right’ to hang out with them. In fact, most people would probably need to be dragged kicking and screaming to even put up with them for long. After everything they probably need to earn the right to spend time with people rather than the other way around.
Coming up behind him, Kazuichi lays a hand on his shoulder, “Look at him… He’s in the reserve course.”
“Hey!”
“Classmate? Me?” Mitarai sniffles, sitting up straighter and examining them all. Searching for any signs of lying but there’s nothing to find. For once they’re being completely transparent and honest.
“Let’s go, Mitarai.” Grinning softly, he reaches out his hand once more, closing the distance between them both and setting a gentle hand on the mans shoulder.
And just like that, he turns around and sets his hand on the console. The red flashing counter coming to a stop. Flickering as the last few seconds remain glowing on the screen. With just one a single button press it all grinds to a stop.
Who knew it would be so easy to save the world.
Not wasting a second, everyone runs forward, brushing past Hajime as they circle around their ‘new’ classmate. Kazuma reaches out, letting Mitarai lock them in a crushing hug. The two of them clinging onto each other for dear life, surrounded by the warm smiles of their friends.
Hajime backs up slightly. Pulling away from the crowd and breaking out into the open air. Watching the crowd comfort the crying man as best as they can with their…unique skill sets.
It takes him a second to notice he’s not alone. Nagito brushes up close to him. Just about making sure they don’t touch while remaining close enough that he can whisper without anyone else eavesdropping, “I knew you could do it.”
“We all did it. Mitarai needed this.”
“He did… It will be strange having a new classmate. First you and now him.”
“I don’t think we’re going to get anyone else so make the most of it now.” He sighs, “I found Yukizome.” He turns his head to come face to face with Nagito.
“You did?” His eyes sparkle for a second and it’s a crushing sight. He immediately wishes he had phrased it better instead of giving the man unfounded hope.
“She’s dead. Long past saving now…”
“I see… That was always the most likely outcome.” Nagito keeps his face steady as he grins but the fakeness is unmistakable. It’s unfair of him to expect the reaction to be any different though. If Hajime himself had been in that state, he can only imagine how the others will feel at the news…
“I wish I could have saved her.” He whispers without even thinking about what he’s saying. He doesn’t think he’s even really talking to Nagito. He’s speaking into the wind more than anything else.
Taking in a deep breath, Nagito begins to mutter, “You probably don’t want to hear the opinion of someone like me, but in my experience death is just a part of life. We can’t always stop it. We have to keep hope and continue living though.”
“I -” But before he can finish his thought they’re both interrupted.
“Oi! You two! Group hug means eeeeeeveryone,” Ibuki runs up, grabbing both of their upper arms and dragging them over to everyone else, “Get in here.”
Putting them both in a choke hold, she wraps them up in a group hug. All of them crushing poor Mitarai who’s trapped in the center. With everyone pushing in from all sides it’s a little too warm to be comfortable. Still he submits to the entire thing. Finding some comfort in the way Ibuki and Nekomaru cling onto him. Pushing him and Nagito into everyone else.
Gundham is doing his best to break free but Sonia keeps a tight grip on his wrist. Stopping him from escaping too far. Yet from his slightly separated spot he can glare at them all as if they’ve lost their minds. And maybe they have. Specks of blood are still splattered on his shirt and everyone is beaten up but here they are in the middle of the future foundations headquarters just cuddling.
From his spot in the group hug, he just about manages to make out a shadowy figure moving near the doorway. The bright light of the rising sun blocking out most of the features until they’re just a silhouette in the soft light. He doesn’t need to be able to see the features to know exactly who it is though.
Clearing his throat he manages to squeeze his way under Ibuki and Nekomaru’s arms. Elegantly slipping away from the pile of people so he can breathe fresh air again. Stretching out his limbs he looks towards the doorway again but the figure has slipped away. No longer visible in the bright light of the rising sun.
“Heyyyy!” Ibuki pouts but he dodges out of the way of her clammy hands.
“Come on guys, we should probably destroy this thing and get out of here.” He nods over to the console. Given how dedicated all those soldiers were, they shouldn’t risk them starting up the program again. If they’re going to save the world then they need to do it properly.
“How do we destroy it?” Kazuichi laughs awkwardly scratching the back of his neck and looking over towards Mitarai.
“Ummm…if we just destroy the console and my phone it should be all gone.” Mitarai mumbles as he extracts himself from Kazuma’s arms and wipes down his face again.
“Sounds nice and easy.” Nekomaru rolls up his sleeves with a hearty guffaw.
None of them have time to stop him before his fist goes crashing into the console. The glass shattering and electricals fizzling out. Small pieces of glass dig into the skin of his fist causes blood to blossom across the skin of his fist but he doesn’t even flinch.
“Mahiru, may you pass me the phone?” Sonia holds her hand out towards Mahiru who is closest to Mitarai’s phone which had been abandoned on the floor.
All Mitarai can do is sit back and watch as Mahiru throws the phone over to Sonia who crushes it under her foot. Slamming her heel into it over and over. Letting it crunch loudly with each slam.
Hajime can see the smaller man flinch with each stomp, Kazuma’s hands smoothing down his hair comfortingly as they watch the phone be crushed. It doesn’t even end there; as soon as it’s been shattered she pries off the now loose back and starts ripping out the internal pieces one by one. Snapping the sim card in pieces and chucking it all over the barrier into the void below.
“Wow, that was…intense.” Kazuichi winces, pulling back as if they had just watched her mutilate a corpse instead of tear apart a phone.
“This is not the first phone full of data I have had to destroy!” She winks and pumps her fist a little too excitedly. It’s probably best they don’t ask any more questions though…
“Well, with that done, is it okay for us to go now?” Kazuma addresses them all but they’re looking at Mitarai the entire time. Checking him over. Probably having a stroke at the mans general thinness and poor health.
“This seems like the most fortuitous move for now.” Gundham straightens his shirt and smooths down his hair. Doing his best to look presentable despite the dirt that has now ruined his cute cat shirt.
“Off we go then!” Ibuki claps her hands excitedly, slinging Mikan’s arm over her shoulder to prop the girl up.
Letting Kazuma and Mitarai lead the way, they all begin to filter out of the room. Forming a line like they really are just a class out on a school trip.
As they step outside he finds himself closing his eyes for a moment, breathing in the fresh crisp air of a new day. Letting the wind brush through his hair and billow in his clothes. Even if they’re in the middle of what was once a battlefield it feels oddly calming now. There might be hell in front of them now but for now it feels like they’ve made it to the other side of the storm.
He can’t just bask in the sunlight forever though. He can already feel the Teruteru right on his heels so he forces himself to keep moving forwards. Chasing after Kazuma and Mitarai.
Stood to the side of the building is none other than Makoto. Considering the state of everything else around them, he looks surprisingly put together. In fact, he still somehow looks better than the rest of them. To think they thought they would need to save him of all people…
Smiling, he lets himself walk past the other man. There’s nothing more that needs to be said. After everything he did for them this was just them evening out the scales. Part of him wants to stop the man and grill him with questions - or even just to say goodbye - but then he sees the smiling and laughing faces of his friends. This is exactly where he needs to be. His friends need him. Right now, that’s all that matters. Makoto can handle this all by himself.
He can just about hear the others harassing Makoto in the background but he keeps on following the others, leading the way for the rest of their group back down the building. Thankfully its not long before they’re all back following though. Chattering slightly as they walk.
Jogging over to his side, Kazuichi tugs on his arm and mutters quietly, “I don’t want to be a kill joy but what are we going to do if we come across those soldiers again?”
“Hmmm…you’re right they weren’t exactly the most friendly…” Kazuma mumbles, rubbing his chin.
“Oh, the soldiers?” Mitarai stops in his tracks for a second scratching the back of his neck, “Sorry, I brainwashed them with my video…they should be fine now.” He hangs his head in shame, refusing to meet any of their eyes.
But much to his surprise, Kazuichi simply reaches forward and claps Mitarai on the back, “That’s good.” He whistles calmly, “I was really starting to think we were going to have to fight again.”
“But -?” Mitarai looks around wildly but Hajime just offers him a smile.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s all been sorted now.” He gives the other man what he hopes is an encouraging thumbs up, “Do you know any safe areas we can go to for the moment? We need to sort out some things before we leave.”
“Hmmm? Oh yes. I can lead us to a good place to stop for a second.”
With that they all follow Mitarai’s lead. Even Kazuma pulls back, letting the animator take control. They’re all at his mercy technically but Hajime gets the feeling the Future Foundation has bigger things to worry about right now instead of them.
Hopefully.
In the end Mitarai takes them to what seems to be a random room nestled away in the heart of the corridor mazes. He has no idea what this place is supposed to be but as long as it’s out of the way and quiet, that’s all they need.
One by one everyone filters into the room until they’re all safely inside. Nagito closing the door with a gentle click before sitting down with everyone else on the dirty floor.
“What are we doing here?” Hiyoko looks around the room with her nose scrunched up. It might not be the nicest room but given the mess they walked past just now, it isn’t the worst at least. This is probably about the best they’re going to manage in this place.
“Yes, shouldn’t we be aboard our vessel by now to set off into the future?” Gundham scowls as he crosses his arms grumpily.
“I know you want to set off but I have another plan.”
“A plan? What beyond leaving here before the future foundation kills us?” Mahiru looks around the room as if trying to gauge everyone else’s reactions to what is going on.
“I don’t think they’ll make any moves against you now. Most the members are dead and Munakata isn’t the same as he was before. Makoto got through to him.” Mitarai rubs his arms anxiously as he speaks. Keeping his head down the entire time.
“You have your camera right Mahiru?” She reaches for her camera with a suspicious nod. “We need to make a video.”
Notes:
And so the final major cast member has been added. I did consider making all of this first 'act' of the story shorter but I wanted to develop things more before adding Ryota into the mix. I know Ryota isn't a character most people like but I have a soft spot for him and can't imagine the story without him <3
(Also I now like watching these scenes in the actual anime and imagining Gundham in a cat t-shirt 😂)
Chapter 40: 3rd of June
Summary:
After the events of the Future Foundation battle they are now ready to set off to their new lives.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
03/06 - 00:58
Over the day the Future Foundation comes more and more to life as people begin the long and tedious work of clean up. It might be months until they have this place all sorted again but that’s none of their business anymore. That is for Makoto and the others to deal with and to figure out a plan.
Despite the others protests, they had stayed huddled up in the room for the rest of the day, sorting themselves out and fixing up all their injuries before setting off on their long journey to god knows where. And if they had sneakily gone around the place and pilfered a few new clothes, who’s to say…
But now nightfall has fallen again. The midnight bell tolling throughout the building. As nice and…clean as it is here, they should probably not extend their welcome any further. But it’s hard to drag them all off when they look so cozy piled on top of each other in a vain attempt at sleeping. They’ll have time to sleep on the boat now and this would be the best time to slip away when the number of staff moving around the building has gone down.
However before he can get around to waking anyone up, a soft knock echoes at the door. Narrowing his eyes he approaches the door and presses his eye up to the crack to see if he can catch a glimpse of whoever is on the other side.
“Who’s there?” He hisses softly, trying not to wake anyone.
“It's me.” A soft familiar voice calls out in a gentle whisper, “Makoto.”
Sighing, he opens the door and the other man stumbles forward. Almost tripping and falling straight on his face. His entire face burns hot red and he awkwardly smiles and laughs.
“What are you doing here?” He hisses in the softest voice he can manage.
“I…I just wanted to check on you -”
“We’re all okay, you don’t need to worry about us.” He gestures to the sleeping gaggle they have laid out before them.
Poor Mitarai covered in a blanket made up of both Mikan and Kazuma. Both of them clinging onto him for dear life as if they think he will vanish while they sleep. It somehow looks like the comfiest thing in the world and the most uncomfortably thing at the same time.
“- I also wanted to thank you.” That certainly makes Hajime snap to attention, “You came in at the last second and saved everything. I couldn’t get through to Ryota, but you really saved him. People might never know you were heroes but we’ll always appreciate it.”
He pauses for a second, looking out at the smaller man as he slowly gets crushed in his sleep, “He’s one of us now. Always has been really. He was in their class you know.”
“He mentioned it.”
“I wonder if things would have been different if he had actually gotten to spend time with them.” He hums softly. Knowing Junko it likely would have ended the same way but maybe Mitarai wouldn’t have felt so bad. At this point that’s about all they can hope for. “They’re all a bit of a mess but I think they could be good for Mitarai. If nothing else, having Kazuma around will probably do him some good. They seemed to be close.”
“Kazuma?” Makoto looks around the room with a frown. Scanning each of the faces one by one as if doing a head count.
“That’s the name Byakuya or Ryota or whatever you want to call them chose. You know, the ultimate imposter.” He points over to Kazuma, just in case Makoto somehow doesn’t know who the ultimate imposter is.
“That’s a nice name.”
“Yeah, better than Byakuya anyway.” Makoto laughs heartily at that. Throwing his head back and letting his teeth sparkle in the soft light of the room. Peko begins to stir a little a the sound but it’s hard to be mad when it looks like a thousand pounds of weight have been lifted from the mans shoulders.
As his laugh starts to die down, he looks softly across the room at Mikan. Smiling almost protectively, “I also wanted to thank Mikan.”
“Mikan?” He frowns, racking his brain to try and figure out what on earth she could have done. He can’t even remember a time when Mikan and Makoto interacted.
“This morning - or I guess yesterday now - she told me she had given some pills to a body she came across. Kyoko’s body.”
His heart stops beating for a second. In the heat of everything he had almost forgotten about that. With everything else going on it hadn’t felt pressing but he doesn’t need to imagine to know how Makoto felt. He barely knew Chiaki for a few weeks and look at him. Those two knew each other for years. Losing someone like that…
“I’m sorry for your loss… She was a good person, even to people like us.” He hangs his head, trying to push back images of Yukizome and Chiaki from infiltrating his mind once again.
However Makoto isn’t crying. He’s not even frowning. In actuality, he’s…smiling? Okay, he might be one of the most unhealthily cheerful people Hajime has ever met but this is going too far, even for him.
“That’s exactly it though. Mikan came across her dead body and managed to give her something to help revive her. To counteract the posion she had been injected with by the band.”
“Mikan did that?” He laughs slightly, eyes widening. It sounds almost surreal. But given everything else they’ve been through maybe they’re owed a good miracle for a change. It’s about damn time.
“Yes, she saved her life. I thought I ought to thank her.” Makoto looks over to Mikan once more. Smiling fondly the entire time.
“You probably should.” He can only imagine how much that will break Mikan’s mind, “I’m going to wake them to take them down to the ship. You can help me wake them and talk to Mikan if you want.”
He expects Makoto to immediately jump in and except but instead he hums for a moment and rubs his chin thoughtfully, “Oh, I saw your ship. It’s pretty small for the sixteen of you. I can give you access to a larger ship if you want it.”
Moving all their stuff would be a pain but imagining spending hours on that ship again does sound like a nightmare. Between the sixteen of them how hard can it really be to move the boxes… “Thanks, we’d appreciate that.” Hopefully it’ll have more than one toilet on the entire ship…
As he stroll over to his sleeping friends, he shoves his hands into his pockets only to find his fingers bumping into the USB stick he had almost forgotten he’d hidden away in there.
“Wait, before we wake them up, there’s something I wanted to give to you.” He holds a hand out desperately. Stopping Makoto before he can reach down and shake Teruteru awake.
“Something for me?” Makoto frowns with the cock of his head like the thought is entirely foreign to him.
“It’s not something crazy so don’t get your hopes up.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the USB stick. Hopping over Mahiru and Hiyoko’s sleeping bodies to push it into Makoto’s hand, “It seems silly now but when the Future Foundation was coming I uploaded Alter Ego onto this. Just to keep it safe in case they tried to destroy it. I told him I would pass the USB stick to you when we were able to find you.”
For a second Makoto’s fingers curl around the drive. Holding it tightly and giving it a soft squeeze. But then, out of nowhere, he unfurls his hand and releases the drive. Grabbing Hajime’s hand and pulling it close. Forcing the USB stick back into the palm of his hand.
“What -?”
“You should keep it. You and everyone else.” Makoto looks at them all in turn, drinking in the sight of them like he’s lost in the desert. “Alter Ego was designed to help people like you guys but with all this stuff that has been going on recently with Ryota and everything else… I don’t know if this is what we need right now.” Makoto kicks at the ground softly. Bringing up small dust clouds at his feet.
Given everything that just happened, he can’t exactly blame Makoto. Hope. Despair. They’re both kind of a pain. Maybe people just need the chance to be…people again. He wouldn’t even be here like this today if people weren’t obsessed with both Hope and Despair.
Sighing and looking up at the ceiling, Makoto mumbles, “Maybe there will be a day when we need it but not right now. I trust you’ll be able to take good care of it in the meantime. And if you come across a computer on your travels…maybe you could upload him. I think he would really appreciate being able to talk with you guys regularly. We always ended up ignoring him more than we wanted to.”
Hajime’s hand closes around the USB stick. Squeezing it tightly, he slips it back into the pocket next to Chiaki’s pin, “How will we know if you need us though?”
“I was actually going to give you this when we went to the boat but I can give it to you now.” He rummages around in his suit pocket for a moment before pulling out a small metal disc. Barely the size of a finger nail, “This is a communication device. It was developed by the future foundation and is pretty sturdy. It should be able to stand up to almost anything you can throw at it.”
He turns it around in his hand curiously. Examining it from every side. It looks completely unassuming. Just a small black disc with a tiny bulb at the top. Nothing else. No buttons, no screens. Nothing. Just a smooth black surface. Perfect and undented.
“What does it do?” He pokes at it one last time.
“It’s a signal. I can press a button and it will begin flashing with a red light.” He holds up a button that’s hanging onto a set of key chains and gently presses the button. At once the disc begins to flash brightly. Only a second long interval between the flashes, “If I press this it will be a signal that I need you guys. If you go to Towa City you’ll either be able to find me or someone that can get in contact with me.
Towa city. It had a while since he thought of that place. Of all the places in the world for him to choose, it makes sense it would be that place. If he remembers correctly Naegi and Fukawa were working in the city when he left with Junko’s AI. He supposes those will be the contacts within the city. He can only hope that they won’t have a problem with seeing him or Nagito around…
“Hmmm…” He examines it one last time, just double checking for any extra buttons but it’s still completely smooth, “Is there a button for our end? And it’s not going to track us, is it?” He narrows his eyes as he looks up at Makoto suspiciously.
“There’s no tracker, I swear.” He holds his hands up defensively, “It only goes one way but I can see if I can find another before you go off.”
He considers it for a second but then he shakes his head, “It’ll be fine. We won’t need one. Besides, even if we had one it would be useless because you won’t know where we are.” If even they don’t know where they’e going they can’t exactly give Makoto an address. This will be the only way it can work if they don’t want to give the Future Foundation a tracker.
“Okay. We’ll still be there if you need help though. If you need us come to Towa and we will find a way to help.” The cynical part of him can’t quite believe all of this kindness but there’s no hint in his tone or body language that he’s lying at all. Knowing Makoto this is all completely genuine.
“This is very kind of you. Why are you going to all these lengths?”
“You’ve helped more than you will admit. Besides, us Hope’s Peak Alumni need to stick together.” He chuckles at that. Could any of them even count as alumni if they didn’t actually ever graduate. Either way, he can understand the intent there.
“Well, we’ll do our best to come when we’re called.” He nods solemnly and shoves the small disc into the other pocket all alone. He knows Makoto said it should be able to withstand anything but better safe than sorry. He probably shouldn’t be letting it get all bashed up.
“Time for us to get going then.” He claps his hands together and sighs deeply.
“Sounds like it.”
It doesn’t take them too long to wake everyone up. He’d assumed that they would be more distressed to have Makoto standing right there as they woke up but instead they all seem oddly unphased - even those of them who were woken by him. Perhaps it’s just the innocent and unassuming expression of his that settles them all at once.
“Why are you wakin’ us up?” Akane yawns as she stretches out. Her limbs clicking loudly as she does so as if someone has just snapped each of her bones.
“We should really get going -” Hajime starts to speak as he looks out at the crowd of people still half sitting half laying, on the floor in front of him.
But before he’s even managed to fully finish his thoughts, he can see everyone else in front of his shifting their attention to his side where Makoto is standing. Following his gaze he’s greeted by the sight of Makoto bent over in a low bow. His head fully lowers so his face is completely hidden from everyone’s view.
“What the -?!” Fuyuhiko of all people reels back. Narrowing his eye as he braces himself. Hands curling into fists at his side as Peko stiffens. Gripping onto the sword at her side that she must have found lying about the place earlier.
“Before you left I just wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done to help us already. You’ve done more than we could ever have asked and we will never forget everything you’ve done here tonight.”
Even though he’s already heard this spiel earlier, Hajime can feel his throat immediately close up. The memory of the video they filmed a few hours ago still filling his mind. The camera weighing down his pocket.
What will Makoto say when he sees the video broadcast? Would he stop them out of his own naive sense of responsibility or would he too understand the need for it?
As much as he wants to believe that Makoto would see sense, it was probably for the best that they’ve chosen to only broadcast it for the world when they end up leaving this place for good regardless of how annoyed Makoto will be that he won’t get to discuss it with them.
“W-We’re leaving n-now?” Instead of listening to his words, Mikan just begins looking around frantically. Her voice shaking as tears gather in her eyes once more. After all that that’s all she was able to take away from all those words.
“We can’t stay here forever! We need to make our futures!”
“He’s right.”
Despite Nekomaru and Kazuma’s determined and confident words, many people around them seem to instead be lowering their heads. Avoiding meeting anyone else’s faces as they do so. Reclining into themselves one by one.
Unsure of what else to do, Makoto’s eyes just widen as he swallows hard. Immediately looking over to Hajime for support, “I -”
Well that lasted long…
“As the others said it’s probably for the best we get going as fast as we can. Not to mention Makoto is lending us a new boat so we need to move everything over before setting off.” At that he earns himself a long groan from everyone around him - not that he blames them.
Only Fuyuhiko’s fire remains as he keeps his eye locked onto Hajime’s. Pressing into the ground with his fist as he shakily pushes himself up to stand up. Towering over everyone for once.
“We can’t leave yet, we still haven’t done all of the crap we came here to sort out. We’re not leaving with everything still in this shitty state!”
“What do you -?”
Once more Fuyuhiko cuts him off without a second thought. Gritting his teeth, “We said we would help Yukizome the same way we were helped. We haven’t even tried to find her yet!”
Yukizome…
The sight of her bleeding body fills his mind. Cold icy skin. The stench of death permeating her. Motionless. Lifeless. The gaping hole in her body burnt into his retinas. Her once bright orange hair looking drained. A mere ghost of what it once was.
At once a shiver runs up his spine and goosebumps erupt over his skin but there is nothing he can do to ease them. All he can do is sit there as his stomach churns, ready to throw up the nonexistent food in his stomach at any second.
Silence descends upon the group as Hajime holds his breath but he suspects they are quiet for a different reason to him… Instinctively he seeks out Nagito in the crowd only to find him tucked in the corner. Looking down at his hands in his lap to avoid meeting either Hajime or Makoto’s gaze.
Of course he knew this conversation was going to need to happen sooner or later but he’d really been hoping it wouldn’t be right now…
Although he wants to speak, his throat simply closes up. Tightening painfully as he struggles to draw in breath. Biting his bottom lip until his mouth is filled with the warm metallic taste once more.
For the first time, out of the corner of his eye, he can see Makoto recoiling. Shuffling back as he meets Fuyuhiko’s expression. Skin paling even in the dim lighting of this room. Surely Makoto was aware that the other were taught by Yukizome, right?
And yet he can see in real time as the realisation hits him. Bit by bit that realisation begins to spread around the rest of the room too. Makoto’s expression is all the confirmation they need and yet it feels wrong for Hajime to not at least try to say something. They deserve an actual answer. Closure.
“I…When I was making my way through the building I…I found Yukizome but…she had been dead for a long time.”
“I’m sorry for your loss… She was the first person to die last night so there was nothing you could have done to help…”
While it’s clear Makoto is trying to be comforting, there is only so much comfort to be gained from that knowledge. Sure they couldn’t have helped her last night when they arrived but that doesn’t mean there was never anything they could have done. What if they had warned Makoto that Junko had brainwashed her? Perhaps it wouldn’t have been enough to avoid this but still the thought still lingers over their minds like a dark storm cloud.
“I see…” Mahiru swallows hard, dragging her legs close to her chest as she hunches over. Hiding her face as her body begins to shake painfully.
“Oh…” Just like that he watches Fuyuhiko deflate. His legs shaking as he collapses on himself. Falling to the ground unceremoniously as he crumples. While Peko immediately shuffles to close the distance between them, she always hovers just out of reach.
It’s not just Fuyuhiko though, they all seems to have been drained as he looks around the room. Teruteru hugging his arms around himself as he scrambles closer to the wall to shrink in on himself. Gundham buries his face in his scarf and tears tumble down Sonia’s face as she wipes them away desperately. Even Hiyoko looks like she has been frozen, eyes widening as her breath catches in her throat.
Only Ibuki seem to not be reacting as she sits there more still than he has ever seen her before. Her face completely still and emotionless as she sits like an island amongst everyone else.
He wishes there was something he could say to ease the expression on their faces but it would be a foolish endeavour. Nothing can ease the thoughts crashing through their minds right now. Instead he just clutches his hands in his lap, falling as silent and still as he can.
~~~
03/06 - 02:09
The ramp underfoot sways and creaks as Hajime steps on. The old cracked sea wood feels like a stark contrast to the pristine modern future foundation facilities he's been seeing for the last few weeks. They couldn’t cough up for a proper metal dock ramp?
Despite the unsteadiness, it doesn't give out as he begins his trek up and onto the boat. They had considered making plans in the room but with Makoto still stood on the docks watching them, they figured it was probably best to board their new boat before discussing plans they might not want the Future Foundation hearing about. Besides, it should help them set off quicker when they do sort things out. One of their more efficient plans if you ask him.
As he steadies himself on the deck, doing his best to lean against the barrier when his hands are full of boxes, he looks back to check on the others. Like the worlds weirdest school trip, they're all trailing behind. Waiting patiently to move one by one up the ramp. All of them are buckling under the weight of the boxes but at least the luggage is spread out this time. Each of them balancing boxes and their make shift beds over their shoulders. Is it elegant? No. But efficiency is far more important.
Sonia, who had been hot on his heels, is currently trying to move up. Her long golden hair being swept up in her face by the strong night breeze. The moonlight is the only thing lighting up their path onto the ship. All those fancy lights from before broken after the long battle. Either that or they’ve just realised that maybe lighting up their fancy secret base isn’t a good idea.
He makes a note of each of them as they clamber aboard, checking to make sure they have everyone. Sonia, Gundham, Kazuichi, Ibuki, Mikan, Nagito, Peko, Fuyuhiko, Akane, Nekomaru, Teruteru, Mahiru, Hiyoko, Kazuma, Mitarai. All present and accounted for at the very least. Maybe he should consider investing in little trackers for them all…okay, maybe not.
One by one they file past him to gather on the main deck. It's hard not to laugh at their wobbly steps as they sway from side to side on their already weak legs. Their boxes wobble precariously but much to his relief, none of them go tumbling into the choppy water below.
As soon as they're all up safely he pulls off the ramp and knocks it away. It chatters loudly on the dock but they're not exactly going for discretion. Speed is more crucial right now.
Makoto watches them from the docks, dropping down to sit on the edge of the steps. Watching them with a big smile. Everyone else immediately heads downstairs to their now significantly larger ship with the exception of Mitarai who hangs back. Staring over the railing in the darkness at the dark figure of his friend - or maybe just coworker. He’s honestly not too sure how well the two actually know each other. You can only learn so much from security footage and stolen data.
“Are you okay Mitarai?” He asks softly as Makoto begins to wave.
“Hm?” Mitarai blinks wearily as if waking up from a dream, “Oh, yeah. It’s just strange saying goodbye to the Future Foundation. I didn’t always like it but it’s been all I had for the last few years.”
He knows the feeling all too well. If his arms weren’t piled high he would reach out a comforting hand. Instead he has to settle for words, “It’s normal to feel that way. Don’t feel like you have to come with us.”
“No, it’s fine. I should come with you all.” He responds almost immediately, tearing his eyes away from the docks at once. Readjusting the box as best he can, he begins to stumble forwards. Following everyone else as he starts to buckle under the weight.
Together they manage to make it down the stairs and they plop their boxes in the nearest room. They can think about organisation later but now isn’t the time.
Going about the ship he corals the others into one room. The entire time he has to keep hushing their random meaningless background chatter. Wow, he was joking before but he really is a school teacher for their rowdy school trip. Considering the state of Hopes Peak this is par for the course of their kind of school trips.
"Come on guys. We need to get going as soon as possible." He sighs and leans his head back to stare at the slightly rusty ceiling.
"Yeah, yeah." Akane rolls her eyes like a petulant child.
Is it too late for him to turn around and just go off on his own?
"Come on guys, we've got to listen to Iz - Hajime." Kazuichi corrects himself quickly with a cough. Hajime can just about see the redness of his cheeks in the dim moonlight that peeks through the ship windows.
Thankfully after a few seconds it all dies down leaving no sounds but the whistling wind, crashing waves and creaking ship. It's almost soothing to hear. A warm reminder of a time long past- even if it was just a few months ago.
"Thanks guys. Look we just need to decide what to do but we can't have it getting crazy. Let's try to be civil and have only one person talking at once…" He takes a deep breath in. He likes to think it's going to work but he's starting to get to know these people a little too well.
"We promise!" Ibuki over dramatically draws a cross above her heart but somehow that only makes it worse.
"Okay…let's try this then. We clearly can't stay here after everything but where can we go? The facility we were just in is still there. We also have a boat so any country we want is in our reach. We have anywhere in the world we can go." He folds his arms tightly.
"Anywhere in the world. Thanks for simplifying the choices…" He can hear Fuyuhiko grumbling softly from across the room.
"Fuyuhiko!" Peko tries to elbow him into silence but he's not the only one.
"What? He's right!" Hiyoko’s brash voice isn't even attempting to be discreet. Not that it ever is.
It's not exactly a narrow list of places but why settle for narrow. For the first time in their lives they have a choice. Sure, he doubts any choice is going to be good per say but it's better than no choice at all.
"Well I shouldn't artificially limit your choices."
Nagito sits up straight, jumping on the silence before anyone else gets the chance to, "Hajime is right. You guys can go anywhere you like. Isn't that wonderful?"
As helpful as ever.
Ignoring Nagito he attempts to address the issue, "Look let's start with an easy question, put your hand up if you want to go back to the facility."
Only a single hand goes up. Poor shivering Mikan’s hand waves slightly in the wind as she tries to hold it up.
"S-Sorry…S-Should I have n-not put my hand up?" She weakly lowers it, her entire face the deepest shade of red. It's probably the darkest he's seen her complexion since she woken up.
"No, it's fine. Everyone is giving their own opinion!" A giant hand lays gently on Mikan’s back as Nekomaru flashes her a shining smile. It does little to drain the colour from Mikan’s face though.
"Look, we aint goin' back there. It's too near those Future Foundation people. Naegi said it was cool now but I don't trust 'em." Akane leans forward. She's resting her arm on her knee, propped up firmly, "Oh sorry, Ryota." She awkwardly turns to their new addition, scratching the back of her neck with the other arm.
Every head twists Mitarai's way. Almost as if mirroring Mikan, Mitarai flushes and turns away from them all. The poor guy has never looked tinier surrounded on all sides by the rest of this rowdy group.
"N-No. It's…it's fine. I know how they all are. They can be pretty bad…" Ryota never looks up as he speaks.
He's not exactly surprised to hear it. It's not like the future foundation has ever been subtle in their actions. It does make him wonder though... It's not like they know anything about him other than Mikan and Kazuma’s glowing praise. It's not that he doesn't trust them or Ryota but he doesn't exactly know the guy.
"If Mikan is okay with it then we can rule out going back there then." Hajime carefully pushes forward. They can't have the conversation stagnate over this.
To no ones surprise she nods in agreement, sinking down into the ground until she’s fully sat on the floor. In the back of his mind he knows he should probably remind her that she didn't do anything wrong but with Ibuki and Nekomaru practically hugging at her side he leaves it be. Their warm hands and kindness should be more than enough…
"Okay, well if we're not going there then where do you want to go? Any countries you'd prefer?" He asks the question, unaware of the can of worms he's going to open.
Voices and hands go wild as everyone starts shouting out random places. He can barely keep track of who's saying what over the chaos.
"Oh, oh, oh, we should go to Quebec or Haiwai or Costa Rica! Somewhere spicyyyy!"
"No, obviously we should go to America or somewhere cool."
"Hmmm…I would quite like to visit England or France. Wouldn't you?"
"Ha ha ha, of course not! Clearly the dark void of hell is the only fitting place."
"What about Australia. It was a wonderful place when I crashed there."
"Ew, no way! Only trashy losers go anywhere but Japan."
"Who the fuck even cares? They've all completely gone to shit anyway."
He buries his head in his hand, massaging at his temples. This was definitely a bad idea… After all the discussions they’ve already had on this topic you would think they would have an easier time answering this question by now. How else is he supposed to figure out there they all want to go though? He tries to look around for any kind of support but they're all utterly useless. At least he thought so.
"Listen up. None of us can hear anythin' you're sayin' so how're we gonna do anythin'?" Akane has slams her foot down right beside Teruteru's. The shorter man has to flinch back to avoid his toes getting stamped on.
"Akane is right. We need to be reasonable and mature. Hajime is doing his best and you're not making it easy." Peko nods to Akane encouragingly.
Everyone immediately falls still and quiet. It's not like they’re going to back talk her of all people. No one can miss the sharpened blade that now sat ominously on her lap. Especially after somewhat recent events.
"Look. I know you have a lot of opinions but we need to all agree. Does anyone have something other than a random off the cuff suggestion to offer?" Hajime uses his best stern voice. Time to embrace the teacher role. The knot in his stomach tightening at that thought.
Thankfully they all stop speaking and look around at each other. Everyone waiting for someone, anyone, to take the first step. He shouldn't have expected any of them to have a real reason behind their suggestions.
"Well if you ask me Japan is the best choice." Nekomaru's voice bellows. His eyes are closed as he scratches absentmindedly at his chin.
"Whaaaaaaat?! Japan?! Why there? Aren't we known and hated by literally everyone there?" Ibuki gasps and slaps her cheeks.
"People hate us everywhere in the world. Lots of us stayed in Japan but definitely not all of us." Sonia, Mahiru, Ibuki, Hiyoko, Kazuma and Teruteru all turn away, swallowing dryly. "Even if we didn't, people everywhere have heard of and seen us. Especially since Ryota has programmed the video to be broadcast in the next few hours."
"What's your point?" Peko frowns and subtly shifts closer towards Fuyuhiko so their legs are pressed together.
"My point is that we're wanted everywhere. At least in Japan we won't stand out." Nekomaru shrugs softly.
"I told you Japan was the best." Hiyoko snorts and rests her hands on her hips defiantly.
"Yeah…sure." Kazuichi rolls his eyes and mutters under his breath.
"Awwwwww…but wouldn't it be cool to go somewhere new." Ibuki grumbles through puffed out cheeks.
She seems to have deflated, half her weight now pressed against the fragile form of Mikan. Mikan does her best to shift to better support her friend but it doesn't stop the arm that's propping her up from slipping. A red flush lighting her recently bone white skin. Well, at least she doesn't look corpse-like…
"What would be the point of settling in any of those paltry domains when they speak far lesser tongues than ours! Our great spells will be lost on their weak minds!" Gundham scoffs, his voice booming around the ship and drawing all eyes. Hajime hadn't thought they were being quiet before but clearly they were. It feels like a shot to his ear drums.
"Yes. Only Hajime, Kazuma, and I speak other languages which could pose quite the issue if we traveled elsewhere. How could I have forgotten such a thing?!" Sonia dramatically rests her face in her hands. Unfortunately she's sandwiched between Peko and Gundham so she's left to suffer on her own.
As if completely ignoring Sonia altogether Akane scoffs, "Does Gundham count as a different language?" She's grinning widely to herself. Is she just unaware or is she outright dismissive. Even he can't really tell with Akane.
"Why you!"
Gundham immediately charges in Akane’s direction. Kazuichi and Mitarai both have to jump back to avoid having their hands crushed under his thundering boots. On the other hand, Akane is already darting off before Gundham has crossed the room. The two of them are locked in a heated chase, narrowly dodging and hopping over their other classmates.
Those fast reacting members back away while the others are abandoned to curl up on the ground to reduce their chances of getting hit by a flying limb.
Hajime casually steps backwards, pressing against the wall of the room to give them space to rush past him. He can feel the wind sway his hair and Akane’s lithe form rushes past like a living storm.
"Settle down! Settle down!" Nekomaru growls, defeated.
It's hard to tell if they even hear him though as they keep running about, shouting teasingly at one another.
"If I am unintelligible that is because you are lacking, you beast." The words are spoken through a barrage of pants as he keeps up his breakneck pace.
Akane, on the other hand…
"Sure, sure. I'm the weirdo." Akane is still grinning, not a drop of sweat tainting her shirt.
"Just because I do not lower myself to conform to the weakened mortal masses as you do!"
They keep sprinting about, making the most of the limited space. While Gundham is sprinting seemingly at full speed, Akane is hopping about leisurely. Even now, in this weakened form, she makes the movements look easy.
Are either of them ever going to stop? Even with Gundham’s red and sweaty face, he's showing no signs of slowing down. It's pretty impressive, all things considered.
A sudden crack sounds across the room. It ripples across the entire ship until everyone is paying attention.
"Stop it, both of you!" Peko is stood firmly in the middle of the deck. Her sword is still sheathed and now resting still on the wooden deck. Everything about her is sharp as she stands to attention.
At her command, Akane and Gundham both grind to a halt. He could swear they had literally frozen to the spot. Only Akane actually turns her head to actually look at the girl in question.
"That's better." Peko sighs and slowly sinks back to join Fuyuhiko on the floor. They settle back like nothing ever happened. Legs pressed tightly together once again, her new sword back in her lap; waiting.
"M-Maybe we should sit down now…" Mikan whispers. Her words drift along with the wind but he can just about see enough of her lips in the dim light to read them. It's hard with her head tilted so far towards Peko.
Although there's a bit of grumbling, both of them drag themselves back to their original spots. Sonia has to cling to Gundham’s arm to drag him back down next to her but at least it gets him sat down with them. Whatever works.
"So, we're going to Japan?" Fuyuhiko grumbles. He's holding his breath, waiting for someone to launch into a complaint. No one says a thing though.
Hajime breaths a sigh of relief and steps forward until he's in the middle of the gaggle of them. Towering above their sitting forms.
"Good. I'm glad we've got that sorted out. Now we can set sail." Hajime stretches his interlocked hands in front of them until they crack satisfyingly. It's like all the tightness keeping him locked down has lifted all at once.
"Wooooo!" Ibuki's loud cheer is impossible to miss, even with the others muttering softly between themselves.
It's dumb and pointless and probably bursts his ear drums but he smiles involuntarily anyway. Even with Mikan slumped against her and her hair and clothes limp and completely lacking her usual bright personality, she's still lively and overflowing with…with everything.
Almost everyone around her has slammed their hands over their ears. Their groaning voices more than audible enough. Even Mikan is blinking ferociously, leaning as far as she dares back.
"As much as we appreciate the energy Ibuki, we should probably get some rest before the day breaks." Kazuma sighs.
"We're sleeping on here?!" Hiyoko violently yanks her hands off her ears. Her incredulous gasp rings out across the room. Her head is twisting around as if expecting people to be standing their with their own mouths hanging open.
Hajime frowns uncertainly. Where did she think they were sleeping? He tries to think back to if he somehow insinuated they'd somehow be spending the night literally anywhere else. He's certain his own memory is far more reliable than Hiyoko's.
"Where else would we sleep?" Fuyuhiko sighs from deep within himself.
His rogue hand is tracing something invisible on the floor. His head might as well be resting on his knees given how low it's hovering.
"Ughhhhh! It was a nightmare when we came here. I can't believe we have to actually try to sleep on it again." Hiyoko groans and crosses her arms like a small child. Once upon a time that might have worked but not anymore.
He can't say he blames her. People have said the rocking is comforting, like being soothed when you were a child, but Hajime has never quite understood it. If anything it seems like it would keep the child's mind too awake for any kind of rest. Is it something you have to have experienced at that age to understand? Was he subjected to that when he was small?
He only has a hazy silhouette in place of a mum but even that hazy silhouette doesn't seem the rocking type. Not that it matters at this point.
Hajime shakes his head a little too violently before addressing Hiyoko, "Look, it’s just for a day. We'll go down and see if there's anywhere we can rest. If you just put up with it for a night then we'll all feel better." He runs a hand down his face and sighs.
One night. One night. One night. He repeats the words as many times as he can bring himself to.
"Whatever…" She pouts but no one but Mahiru makes any move to comfort her. She'll deal with it like the rest of them have to.
"Ooooooookay…" Ibuki scratches the back of her neck awkwardly. "So are we gonna go find ourselves some beds?!"
Hajime straightens up, pulling down his t-shirt as much as possible to try and get rid of any unwanted wrinkles. Even he doesn’t know why he’s even bothering at this point but not trying would feel like giving up. He scans the crowd looking for someone reliable.
"Sure. Can you help them sort out where to sleep, Kazuma? I need to go up and get the boat sorted out." He gestures upwards onto the deck with a thumb.
Kazuma immediately jumps up, ready to help at the drop of a hat. While others are all still seated, blinking blearily, Kazuma has already raced over to the door, pulling it open once again. They stand there, nothing more than a glorified door stopper.
Shaking his head, Hajime moves forward, leaving through the door first to head upstairs. Behind him he can hear Kazuma barking orders as the rest of them groan softly and drag themselves up. One by one, they file after Kazuma muttering softly.
Leaving Kazuma to their work, he heads back up the stairs and pulls himself onto the deck. Behind him the door slams closed. Sealing everyone else in the belly of the ship. When he strains his ears he can hear them all moving about and chattering below him. Even the crashing waves against the side of the boat can't drown them out. It brings a curve to the edges of his lips.
Looking around at the docks, he can no longer see Makoto sat there. Everything is still and empty. When he really focuses he is pretty sure he can see some people moving around deeper on the island but for now they are about as alone as you can get in a compound like this. It’s for the best but after everything he’s almost sad to see the other man gone. His hand slips into his pocket to clutch the USB stick harder.
Pulling himself together, he starts to head to the bridge of the ship. Part of his mind still straining to listen to his classmate below deck. With their voices so close he can almost picture them running about frantically just a meter or so below him. But that doesn’t stop him from stepping into the bridge and examining the console he has to work with.
The console is significantly more complicated on this ship than the last one but he’s pretty sure he can figure it out. He taps the light switch and bends down over the controls. Sussing them out one by one. It's almost enough to distract him from the surprise figure that suddenly appears behind him in the middle of the bridge.
"Kazuichi? What are you doing here?" When did he get here? He looks around anxiously as if expecting everyone else to pop up too but it’s only Kazuichi for now.
"I can help you drive the ship." Kazuichi smiles shakily, his hands resting either side of his hips.
Although the boat hasn’t begun moving yet, his face is already surprisingly pale. He's not exactly the most tanned person on the ship but he's certainly not normally as sheet white as Nagito. His hands are gripping the console as tight as humanly possible even though the ship is still anchored at the dock. Clearly this is going to be a fun boat ride.
"Why don't you just join the others downstairs. All the good sleeping spots will be taken soon knowing them." Hajime snorts, still just about hearing their bickering.
He's never been more relieved he isn't down there dealing with them. He should probably find a thank you gift for Kazuma later… He probably owes them more than that.
"You can't do it on your own." Kazuichi sways slightly with the ship but he's still trying to smile regardless. It's pretty impressive really.
Hajime draws closer, arms folded. He rests his weight against the edge of the ship so he's leaning towards Kazuichi. The soft sea breeze rustle his hair awkwardly, blowing some longer strands in front of his face uncomfortably.
"I think I can manage, Kazuichi."
It's almost like they don't remember who he is now. After everything, he’s pretty sure he can manage a single boat.
He carefully moves forward, waving Kazuichi away from the console. Reluctantly, Kazuichi steps away, his arms hanging loose at his side. As if trying to drill his eyes Kazuichi just leans against the console. His entire presence pushing into Hajime's space.
Hajime pays him no attention as he presses his hands into the console. Pushing his weight down on them. The edges of the metal cut awkwardly into his clammy palms. No matter how much he shifts his hand positions it doesn't relieve the feeling.
"When was the last time you slept?"
Hajime holds back a sigh as he clenches his hands into fists one last time. Who has been keeping track of time anyway? It's not like they have any clocks at all anymore. Sure he can feel the haze still digging into his mind but that doesn't really mean anything.
"I could ask you the same thing." He clenches his jaw, not even looking at the undeniably pale man beside him. No matter what him and Kazuichi argue, you can't fight against their matching eye bags. Sure he got about an hours sleep in the building but is more a nap than actual sleep.
"Look, I told you before." Kazuichi finally shifts so he can scratch the back of his neck, "I get kinda motion sick. It's not like I'm gonna sleep down there so it's easier just to be up here where my stomach's less of a pain."
Hajime can feel him bouncing on the balls of his feet from the other side of the wheel. The slightly wobbling of the deck working pathetically against the opposing force of the waves crashing around them.
He wants to say no, to plant himself right here, but why does he even care? Standing harsh against his pale skin is his raw red lips. Small cuts are just about visible on the cracked surface as minuscule beads of blood seep onto the surface. Despite everything Kazuichi is not normally a very sharp person but his eyes somehow still look softer and more rounded than ever. Is this his version of the puppy dog eyes?
"Fine. I'll start the ship off in the right direction though. If it seems like you can drive the ship fine then you can take over for me." He points an accusatory finger like he's somehow Kazuichi's mother but it does nothing to quell the overflowing energy dripping off of Kazuichi.
It's difficult not to smile as Kazuichi giggles to himself. He does his best to stay fully focused on the ship as he starts fiddling with the controls to start it up. It's not easy in the low light with a ship he's never even been on before but he pushes forward anywhere.
"Thanks, bro." Kazuichi's voice is soft in the wind as he reaches forward to set a hand on Hajime's arm. He grips tighter onto the wheel and only just about dares to lift his head up to give Kazuichi a quizzical glance.
"Bro?"
"Yep."
Kazuichi just keeps beaming as they pull away from the docks. It doesn't even change as his already pale complexion turns an off shade of green. Can he really stand here and steer an entire boat through the night?
"Are you sure you're okay?" He narrows his eyes uncertainly.
"Yeah…" Kazuichi nods his head weakly, "It's better than being down there."
"Instead of staring at me, why don't you try looking out at the water?"
Kazuichi does attempt to twist his head around to glance at the water around them but apparently it's not worth actually moving for. Hajime can't exactly go and drag him over to the edge of the ship. Not while he needs to be helming the ship.
Almost as if in an attempt to distract himself, Kazuichi begins rambling softly. It's hard to make out every word with his head turned and the wind blowing by but Hajime does his best to listen anyway.
It's nothing important, just random stories about an undisclosed time in the past. He'd be lying if he said it wasn't a little interesting. Stories about life in Japan before Junko…he feels like after everything, he should remember more than just his time with her. Something more than her influence but all he really knows about Japan before is second hand knowledge.
How could so much be nothing more than a ghost of other lives in his mind? Sometimes it feels like he has regained himself and his mind but times like this remind him of how much he's still missing.
"Maybe one day Japan will be like that again." He tries out the taste of optimism but it tastes sour on his tongue. Apparently it sounds that way to other people too as Kazuichi leans back, brows knitted together.
"Maybe in years and years…"
He gets the feeling that words are still hanging unspoken in the air but Hajime doesn't reach of them. It's too late - or early - for this kind of thinking.
"Well for now we just need to think about the lives we want to live when we dock. It might not be the same but Japan isn't completely ruined. Some stuff is still functional." Not for a lack of trying on Junko's part though.
While him and a few of the others were roaming around the country for all those years, he doesn't actually know how much Kazuichi really got to see. Junko liked having someone with his skills near for the hundreds of plots she was running at once. If he was sheltered away from it all then maybe that's for the best right now. After everything the future foundation has done the worst of it should have passed by now. Hopefully…
"A life…huh?" Kazuichi sinks down, resting his head on his shaky arms.
"Yeah. It's about time we got one."
He has no idea what's waiting for them when they get off of this boat. This is probably all an awful idea - none of them are exactly the pillars of great decision making - but the words flow freely anyway. It's hard to say anything differently with Kazuichi sprawled out in front of him.
Kazuichi's eyes look glassy as they stare past Hajime at the slowly fading islands they've fled from. What would it be like to read minds at this exact moment?
"Kazuichi?" He asks tentatively. Should he reach forward to check on him?
Thankfully he doesn’t need to, "Huh?" Kazuichi blinks blearily and shakes his head.
"We're in a good spot so do you want to take over now." He clears his throat and steps back ever so slightly without taking his hands off the console.
As if nothing had ever happened, Kazuichi hops forward, his hands vibrating as they stretch towards the console. It's only when Kazuichi's lithe calloused hands have curled around the wheel that Hajime finally pries his fingers off one by one.
Not wanting to go far in case Kazuichi suddenly collapses, he only takes a few steps backwards. His weight sinks into the ship railing behind him, keeping him upright. The view of the back of Kazuichi's straggly pink hair isn't the nicest but he should be able to catch the boy before he ever even hits the floor.
"Do you know how to steer properly?" Hajime asks tightening his grasp on the railing. The mans wobbling form doesn't exactly inspire confidence.
"Yeah. Don't worry."
Sure, don't worry. It's easier said than done…
But despite his reservations, it seems like he might actually be telling the truth. No matter how long Hajime stares, he is always dead straight, never drifting off course. Even though his legs are shaky, he never once falters with the wheel to lean against.
From this position he can't see Kazuichi's face. Now he's helming the ship, he doesn't once look back towards Hajime. The closest Hajime gets to telling what Kazuichi is thinking is the periodic tensing and relaxing of his back as the waves come and go.
Slowly, a tension Hajime didn't even realise he'd been carrying drifts off him. He hops up onto the railing, twisting his legs up and over the railing. It's not exactly comfortable, the thin structure bruising him awkwardly, but he stays perched there anyway.
When he peers down he can see the deep blue water crashing against the ship below. A tumultuous chaos reigning out just meters underneath him. With every rock of the boat it feels like he's about to plunge into the icy depths but he never does. He just balances there. Suspended.
If it wasn't for the the small windows on the lower deck of the ship that he can just about see from here it would be like him and Kazuichi were completely alone out on the waters. Everyone else is silent now, hopefully sleeping but he isn't naive enough to truly believe it.
For a moment he wonders what this would be like if they were just kids going to a school trip like the Neo World Program had made them think. Maybe then everyone would be able to get a good nights sleep.
With thoughts of the others in his mind, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out Chiaki's clip. In the thick darkness he can barely even make out the colours. Nevertheless his thumb rubs against the now smooth and worn surface. Sooner or later it's just going to fade away all together…
It's hard to remind himself that this isn't that same clip that belonged to the Chiaki he used to know. Not the same girl that sacrificed herself for them all in the game… The thought alone churns something deep within his stomach. Guilt has found it's way to gnaw at him again.
Does he even really know the girl who this pin belonged too. How similar was the data reconstruction to the real girl? It almost feels…dirty to be holding her own possession like this - as if he even knew her. Did she have family that this should have gone to but he just took it as Izuru? The theft of the only thing she had left.
Yet he still won't let go of it. He just keeps brushing against the smooth plastic as if it's going to magically transform if he just does it enough. As if the girl will magically appear in front of him in the darkness.
Sighing, Hajime grips the clip in his fist so he doesn't need too see it anymore. The edges have smoothed out like the rest of it but it still aches as he practically crushed it in his grasp.
As if searching out any distraction he stares out at the horizon. Even without a clock, he can tell it must be nearing the morning at this point. The islands behind them have completely faded from view at this point and have disappeared into the slowly lightening sky. The black and navy of the night sky is slowly being washed out until it almost blends into the sea where the horizon touches the water. There's a tiny strip of light bleeding through where the sun is mist likely coming to pop up later.
Closing one eye, he releases his grip on the clip, holding it between two fingers. Carefully keeping a hold of it, he lifts it up until it covers the small strip of light so the light bleeds around it. It almost looks like a halo surrounding the fading plastic.
Somewhere beyond him he can hear someone - probably Kazuichi - humming softly. It's not a tune he recognises at all but he closes his eyes anyway. Embracing the quiet music his foot taps lightly on the edge of the railing in beat. The sweet energetic tune making him think more of Ibuki than Chiaki. He can only imagine how she'd sing it. He knows she's happily alive just a few meters away but he can still see her hanging body dangling right in front of him. Her hair limp. The stage dim and overcast.
He immediately slams his eyes open again.
It's just water and dim light again. He turns slightly, peering over his shoulder and Kazuichi is still there. His hair blowing around him slightly. Still there. Still quietly plowing forwards toward their destination.
He slowly lowers his outstretched hand which had been clinging to the clip until it falls back into his lap.
"What's that?" Kazuichi's voice rings out like a foghorn behind him, "Wait, is that Chiaki's?"
Before Hajime can shift out of the way or tell Kazuichi to back off, the other man leans closer to him to try and get a better look. With all the grace of a newborn deer, his should thumps against Hajime.
Just like that he's wobbling.
His scrambling hands try to grasp at the railing. Shaking and tensing around the metal. His stomach muscles clench at the strain as he tries to battle gravity.
The smooth surface of the clip slides in his moist palms. His finger clasp around nothing as the clip slips. Empty air surrounds them. Completely abandoning the railing entirely he stretches down. Air rushes around him. He just keeps reaching though. Rushing down. Chasing. Stretching. Only a single thought is occupying his mind.
And then his fingers wrap around the slick plastic surface and he's being yanked up.
"Iz - Hajime!" Kazuichi's hand grips around his upper arm, "Are you okay?!" He wheezes.
Before Hajime can even respond he's being forced over the edge of the railing. Once again his hands try to clutch at the railings but it's as useless this time as last time. Instead of slipping overboard, he's dragged backwards until his back slams into Kazuichi's chest knocking them both down to the ground.
What the hell is he doing? Isn't he supposed to be driving the boat?! Why can't he just leave Hajime alone for just a little bit? He always has to be leaning forward or peering over Hajime’s shoulder…
A short gruff groan is squeezed out beneath him as Kazuichi tries to wriggle out from underneath Hajime. Kazuichi's knobbly knee is digging into Hajime's side. It only digs deeper and deeper as Kazuichi tries to wriggle away.
Hajime jabs an elbow backwards and pulls himself off Kazuichi. The boy sprawls out below him, groaning even louder but Hajime just pulls himself up right and stomps away, giving Kazuichi enough space to pull himself up as well.
"That didn't go so well…" Kazuichi half groans and half chuckles.
He hasn't even bothered getting up off the floor. He's just laying there, head resting on the deck and legs sprawled apart. He's not even trying to get up and take control of the ship again.
Shaking his head and keeping a death grip on the clip, Hajime storms towards the wheel and grips a hold of it. He tries to avoid even looking at his pink haired classmate. The most he dares do is slip the clip back into his pocket where it can't be jostled by thoughtless people…
There’s a rustling behind him where Kazuichi is moving about but Hajime stays laser focused on the horizon in front of him. "You okay, Hajime?"
Part of him wants to just stay silent and not say anything but he knows Kazuichi is too annoying to just be quiet.
"I'm fine." He clenches his jaw as tightly as he can.
Kazuichi stops moving for a moment. Hajime can hear his steps and movement faltering. He can practically feel the mans eyes digging a hole in the back of his head.
"I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you." There's a soft brushing sound as Kazuichi seemingly swings his leg back and forth, "It's just wobbly on here so I accidentally leaned too far forward…"
"It's fine." He snaps a little too fast. Even the waves seem to hold their breath after the outburst.
Seeking comfort, he shoves his hand into the pocket just to check it's definitely still there. His heart drops for a moment when he doesn't immediately feel it only to find his hand brush against it a second later.
What the hell has gotten into him?
He should probably be ashamed of his response but he can't bring himself to be. He can feel the clip burning a hole in his pocket even now. It's non existent weight now dragging him down. One little bump and he'd nearly lost it all together.
Does Kazuichi even care? He'd seen how close it had been to falling but he's still just chuckling about the whole thing. They'd nearly lost the last piece of Chiaki.
"Sorry…I didn't mean to knock it out of your hand. You've got it now though, right?" Kazuichi’s voice draws closer.
Hajime immediately wrenches his out of the pocket. He can feel the warmth flooding into his cheeks, setting him alight.
"I said it's all fine now. I’m not mad or anything." He lies straight to Kazuichi's face. What else is he supposed to say though. He's going to sounds absolutely insane if he says his blood feels hot and angry at the thought of dropping the damn clip in the water.
"Are you su-"
"Did you want to keep sailing then?" he clears his throat loud enough to cut off Kazuichi.
As he speaks he whips around to face the boy. Almost at once Kazuichi flinches, almost tripping backwards. The only thing that saves him is the very same railing keeping him upright.
"I…" Kazuichi lifts his foot as if he's going to step forwards but he never moves, "Yeah…I'll sail again."
Without any other words he hands over the wheel to Kazuichi, keeping a fair distance between them both. He doesn't dare move back towards the railing though. His hand clamps down on the outside of his pocket as if trying to artificially seal it.
"You know what, I probably should go get some sleep after all." He clears his throat and tightens his grip on the pocket.
"What?" Kazuichi stiffens behind the wheel. Although he doesn't ever turn around to even look at Hajime it still feels like his eyes are burning holes into Hajime.
"Don't worry, I'll call Sonia up so she can help you. She's good with ships too."
"That's not -" Kazuichi let's out a shuddering sigh, "Sure, hopefully you can sleep well."
Hajime tears his eyes away from Kazuichi as he starts walking off towards the stairs down. His footsteps are like thunder cracks against the silent world around them. He doesn't stop walking though.
He probably should have had Sonia up here in the first place anyway. She's far more suited to sailing than Kazuichi ever was.
~~~
03/06 - 09:03
Sighing, Hajime leans back in his chair. He can barely see straight but the constant rocking of the boat isn't exactly conducive to sleep. Whoever decided you should rock baby cribs to get them to sleep must be out of their mind. It might not be unenjoyable but it certainly isn’t helping him when it comes to trying to rest.
The book he's found discarded in the corner of the room lays open in his lap. Taunting him. He's not sure what he expected from a book in a ship like this but the years of being surrounded by water have made the ink run in spots to the point so that some words or sentences have become illegible. Even when the ink hasn't run they're not much better really though. He'd have abandoned it altogether a long time ago if there was literally anything else for him to do down here.
He came down here a few hours ago but it feels like much longer. He didn't quite remember how long this boat trip was. Last time it had felt like a flash but this time not so much. There has been nothing but blue sea hours and hours. They can’t be too far from Japan at this point, right? It's certainly felt smaller on the map than in real life…
Most of the others headed back up onto the deck over an hour ago leaving him alone with the sleeping forms of Nagito and Hiyoko. Hiyoko is tucked away in the corner, so deeply embedded amongst a pile of blankets that he'd never have known she was there if Mahiru hadn't literally told him she was there before she headed up onto the deck.
Nagito, on the other hand, is fully sprawled out at Hajime's feet. His prosthetic hand as been remove as his other arm is carefully resting under his head as a replacement for the pillows that seem to have all been smuggled towards Hiyoko. Several times, as he's stared down at the exposed and cold body of Nagito, he's wondered if he should try to steal some blankets back from the hoarder. Then again, knowing Nagito they'd probably just fall off or choke him or something. The ghost of a smile still hangs on his lips, barely visible with his head nearly buried in his arm.
A soft groan emanates from the blanket pile drawing Hajime's attention. He can see a small shape wriggling within for a few seconds before settling down. Maybe he needs to be more worried about her than Nagito. Can she even breathe in there? When he strains he can only just spot a tuft of blonde at this point.
Even as be tries to turn back to the weathered yellow pages of the book, he finds himself carefully flickering his gaze across at them every once and a while. Checking casually for a rising chest or wriggling foot.
At some point he probably should go back on the deck… Just to keep an eye on things. Yet as soon as he thinks it, his hand subconsciously drifts closer to the hidden away pin once more. There's no loose bodies of water here waiting to snap away at the one thing he has left. Not to mention it’s better to watch the distant blue smudges of ocean through a window down here in this chair.
He tries to focus on the words on the yellowed pages in front of him but it's all going in one ear and out the other. Who'd have thought people could write an entire 1000 page book on knot tying. It might have a modicum of interest if it taught him anything new, but as it stands it's nothing more than a vessel for passing time. Simply the slowest of it's kind.
However the second Nagito begins to stir, rubbing his eyes and groaning, he abandons the book to the side. All but tossing the book on the floor. He hunches over in his chair to lean over the man as he blinks into consciousness.
“Wakey wakey.” He whispers with a crooked grin. Waving mischievously as his bleary eyed friend.
With an eye watering yawn Nagito mumbles, “What time is it?”
“I don’t exactly have a watch,” he holds his bare wrist out towards Nagito, “however, judging by what little sun I can see from here, it looks like it must be getting near to midday.” There’s no way to see the sun position at this angle and the rocking of the boat doesn’t exactly help.
“Already?” Nagito mumbles in disbelief but it sounds more like an awkward yawn than anything else.
“Unfortunately so.”
“Where are we?” He pushes himself up off the ground with a shaky hand before lazily rubbing his eyes. Even when he’s sat up he wobbles about precariously. Unable to engage his core for long enough to ever fully stabilize. In spite of that he still half heartedly reaches over to reattach the arm as he does so. Seemingly unaware of how much he is swaying right now.
“I’m not actually sure,” Sighing he finally resorts to getting up. Carefully stepping over Nagito to approach the window at the side of the room. Looking out there is still nothing but blue as far as the eye can see. Not even the hint of a hint of land yet, “It seems we’re still a long way off land.”
Nagito groans and flops back onto the ground. Not even flinching as his head smacks against the hard metal surface underneath them. His non-mechanical hand is slung over his face. Draped across his eyes to cover them as much as possible.
“You okay?” He frowns as he leans against the wall, almost completely covering the window with his body. “Do you need anything?”
“No, you don’t need to worry about me.” Nagito waves him off with his mechanical hand but he never bothers opening his eyes. His smile as shallow and painted on as ever.
“Too bad.” He huffs, crossing his arms and he leans his weight even further back.
No matter how much Nagito might try to lie, it’s meaningless when he can see right through it. Even if he doesn’t know exactly what is barreling through the other mans mind, he already knows enough to know something is wrong. And right now, that’s all that matters.
Nagito doesn’t reply though. He just sighs and presses his lips tightly together until they form an airtight seal. Preventing any words or sounds from slipping out.
Fine. If he’s going to be that way then he’s going to be that way. Hajime isn’t going to keep bothering him.
“I’m going to get some fresh air. It’s beginning to get a little stuffy down here.” He clears his throat as loudly as he can. Not caring that Hiyoko groans, pulling the blankets closer around herself. Choking out any last remaining pockets of air left in her little bundle.
Still Nagito says nothing. He doesn’t even move an inch. Frozen solid.
“If you want to join us you’re welcome to. It’ll help pass the time.” He mutters as he leaves the room. Leaving the door slightly ajar as he slips out.
Is it a little hypocritical? Maybe. He’s earned the right to be a little hypocritical though.
Staying as quiet as possible, he begins creeping up the staircase. It's harder than he had expected, his own skill barely outweighing the obnoxious whining and creaking of the metal staircase. It's almost as if it is actively trying to work against him. It's a relief when he finally gets to the end of the stairs and onto the solid ship deck. Thankfully the others gathered on the deck still have their backs turned. All completely focused on whatever they're doing.
He can't quite make out everyone amongst the cluster but a few silhouettes are unmistakable. Considering who they are, they're almost being quiet. Somehow that only makes it scarier.
"Hajime! You're here!" Ibuki's screech cuts across the deck. Interrupting the moment without a moments thought.
For a moment he seriously considering pitching himself off the edge of the ship into the water. At least it would be refreshing. However thankfully he manages to stop himself as he looks across at everyone sitting before him.
Everyone's heads have snapped around now which at least makes it easier to see who's here. It's no surprise to see no sign of Sonia or Kazuichi amongst the crowd. It's not just them though, others like Peko, Fuyuhiko, Teruteru, and Mahiru are all missing from the gaggle. It's not like there's many places for them to go on this thing…unless they already beat him into the ocean.
"Yeah. What are you all doing?"
He looks around at the scene. They seem to be gathered around something, or someone. Amongst the sea of faces he can see the dirty blonde head of Mitarai.
"What does it look like we are doing?!" Gundham’s voice shouts above everyone else.
"I have literally no idea."
Thankfully Ibuki comes to his rescue. She dashes forward and grips his hand, pulling him towards the rest of the group. It's hard to stop himself from pulling away from her colder than usual hand. It seems even she can't stave off the cool sea breeze.
"We're playing truth or lie…" Mikan giggles quietly. Her hands are knotted into the fabric of her skirt as she tugs at it. If he didn't know better he would think she was trying to shred the material completely.
Truth or lie? He didn't realize they were all 14 years old.
Nevertheless he sinks down to sit beside Ibuki who's still gripping onto him. He has no idea how they're choosing who's turn it is for anything with them all in this chaotic blob of people. Then again, it's these guys so the chances are they don't know either.
With his legs folded he peers over the sea of heads to try and look at Mitarai. The poor guy is completely surrounded. Swallowed by the crowd. His entire face is lit up red, colour seeping out of every inch.
"Come on Ryota! Give us some truths and lies!" Ibuki claps beside him and he has to slap his hands over his ears to protect them from the intense ringing. It takes all he has to keep himself from literally leaning away for his own safety.
"I-I don't… maybe someone else would be…I-I don't really know what I would say…" Mitarai swallows harshly. His eyes are almost swimming as they dance around the crowd for any kind of support.
An overwhelming urge to reach over and place a hand on the mans back overtakes him. Clearly Kazuma - and Mikan - didn't brief him about the group well enough. Maybe he should try to whisk him away from the gaggle…nah, maybe not.
"Don't be so shy!" Nekomaru bellows and slaps Mitarai's back. Okay, that's not quite how Hajime was imagining doing it but it works he supposes, "This is how we get to know you!"
"I just…"
"It ain't gonna be bad! You’ll see." Akane offers a wiry smile but even Mitarai isn't fooled.
No matter what Akane says, he wouldn't trust her as far as he could throw her. Not without a better description than nice.
“Ummm…okay then…” Mitarai taps his chin with one finger anxiously. Looking around for support from his friends but Mikan is too busy giggling - or maybe crying, it’s hard to tell - and Kazuma is just giving him a thumbs up, “I have fired a gun…I can’t paint and….and…I….have never played any sports…” Mitarai bites down on his lip as he finishes his list. Desperate eyes scanning the group for reassurance from anyone. Everyone.
Clearly no one ever taught him how to lie within the Future Foundation. You would think that would be lesson one but apparently not. He doesn’t even need to put effort into reading the smaller mans body language to notice the way he speeds up as he mentions not being able to paint. Squeezing out the words as fast as he can possibly imagine. It doesn’t even take a split second to decipher.
However, he keeps his mouth tightly sealed. This might be a worse game for him to play than even Monopoly was. While it might be a piece of cake for him. The others not so much…
“Duuuuh! Ryota has never held a gun!” Ibuki sticks her nose up in the air. Already blocking out anything else anyone could say. Stubbornly fixated on her own idea before anyone has even been able to share their thoughts.
Akane sighs, finger poking at the inside of her ear in a way that makes his stomach churn, “Nah, he looks like the type who ain’t done sports. I can recognize those weak muscles.”
He holds himself back from commenting on that front. At this point she looks almost worse than Mitarai. At the very least he can see far more of her bones sticking up than he can see on Mitarai. Her skin pulled taut over the frail looking bones. Even if she’s a state now what she says does make some sense.
“You’re both wrong!” Nekomaru barks loudly. Hands flying onto his hips like he has just found the cure for cancer or something, “Obviously he’s never painted before. No one can avoid all sports and the Future Foundation probably gave everyone guns.”
“I…I th-think you’re over e-estimating how common s-sports is…” Mikan stutters as she spins her index fingers around each other slowly. Staring at them instead of addressing everyone else around her.
“You need to come to a conclusion or we’re going to be stuck here forever.” Hajime sighs, holding himself back from massaging his temples as he listens to all of them.
“No way! Don’t you remember: Ryota is an art guy. There’s no way he can’t paint. I’m not backing down - Ibuki is sure she’s right. Mikan agrees too.” All Mikan can do is stutter weakly. Nodding furiously regardless of if she actually agrees.
Sighing from the depths of their soul, Kazuma shuffles forward within the little blob that has been created to command the attention of everyone around. Coughing in the least subtle way imaginable, “We should each record our choice by holding up one, two or three fingers. And then those of us that get it right will win and point. And everyone that gets it wrong will get nothing.”
It’s a fair solution and none of them have anything they could possible say to argue against it. As everyone else begins to stick up their hands, he pins his under his armpits. Resisting the urge to flaunt his choice for the sake of the game.
Not everyone agrees with that choice though.
“You have to choose something…” Mahiru mumbles, poking his arm slightly as if he had just forgotten what they were supposed to be doing.
“I know but…”
“Yes! Do not be as indecisive as a meek mouse. You cannot hide away in the darkness like a coward.” Gundham scoffs, holding up two bandaged fingers high about his head.
“I’m not being indecisive. I just don’t think it’s fair for me to be playing.” He mumbles nonchalantly.
“Awww, but that’s no fun….” Ibuki pouts as she waves her finger around sassily, “You gotta play with everyone!”
“But I can already tell which one was a lie.”
Mitarai blanches at that. Eyes wide and jaw dropping open slightly, “Was I th-that obvious?” He bites down hard on his bottom lip. Fear dripping from every inch of him.
“Don’t worry, Hajime is just too good at figuring out when people are lying.” Kazuma explains with the causal wave of their hand. Almost completely ignoring Hajime as if they also aren’t holding up any fingers. A fact that Akane refuses to let go as she scowls grouchily.
“Why ain’t you puttin’ your hand up then?”
“Because I already know which one is true. Ryota told me before.”
“Ah yeah. I forgot you were pretending to be him for months and months.” Nekomaru laughs boisterously, slapping Kazuma on the back a little too hard. Winding him in one fell swoop.
“Can you tell me the answer?” Mahiru leans in close and whispers as quietly as she can manage. Not quietly enough to avoid Ibuki’s sharp ears though.
“Oi! No cheating! Hold your fingers up.” She waggles a stern finger at Mahiru making the photographer flush bright red.
“Sorry…” She meekly holds up a single finger, letting her head droop slightly in an attempt to hide her cheeks which are now almost as bright as her hair.
“Tell us the answer then, fiend.”
“It w-was two. I’ve never painted before.” The latter half of the sentence is drowned out by raucous cheering coming from Gundham and Nekomaru as they scream out their celebration. Mitarai has to slam his palms over his ears to stand any chance and even distant sea birds seem to disappear into the deep red sky.
“Ha! I told you! Never doubt a team manager!” Nekomaru grins smugly. As part of his victory lap he pulls Gundham’s head under his arm. Ruffling the other mans hair with a little more force than is probably needed. By the time he’s released, huffing and puffing, his hair is a birds nest on top of his head. A far cry from the usual perfectly coiffed appearance.
“Release me you hell spawn. One such as you does not lay a hand on one as great as the Supreme Overlord of Ice, Gundham Tanaka!” He splutters out decidedly non intimidating. Clutching his hands desperately over his hair. Forming a make shift little cage as Nekomaru chuckles a little too jovially.
“Of course, of course!” He chuffs but that does nothing to change the sour expression permeating Gundham’s face.
In an attempt to distract everyone, Kazuma calls out and clears his throat, “Who’s next?”
A sea of hands fly into the air within a split second. It’s going to be a long day.
After a few rounds people slowly start to pay less and less attention to him. Slowly beginning to accept that he isn’t going to be able to join in with any of the round. Taking the chance to slip away, he slides away from the rest of the group. Disappearing into the shadows of the ship to slowly creep away. No one even blinks in his direction as he carefully gets up and begins making his way over to the bridge once again.
His anger has all but faded now so all that’s left is guilt for leaving Kazuichi. Considering everything he should have taken the higher ground but instead he just ran away. Leaving Kazuichi in there with his swimming stomach and sleep deprivation. That’s why he’s going to check on the mechanic. Not because he wants to avoid having the plan the stupid game himself. Totally not…
However as he clambers up to the bridge he’s greeted by a less than stellar looking Kazuichi stood just to the side. Leaning meekly against the railing as his hand grips to edge. Despite how hard he’s clenching his fist, it’s not enough to hide just how much his hand is shaking.
To the side he can see Sonia standing by the wheel as she throws tentatively looks back at Kazuichi. Her lip raw red as a tiny bead of blood begins to gather on it. The bright pink standing out on her otherwise surprisingly unmarred face.
"Kazuichi? Have you still not slept?" Hajime approaches tentatively. Every step small and carefully measured.
"Huh? What?" Kazuichi shakes his head rapidly before reaching up to clutch at it with shaking hands.
The pale complexion has faded now. Overtaken by an off green looking colour which has seeped into every cell in his body. With the way the boat rocks and sways it’s easy to miss but Kazuichi is sway dangerously from side to side. Only held up by the way he grips onto the console for dear life.
“You need to sleep.” He puts his foot down, sliding up to Kazuichi as he loses all pretense. Even so Kazuichi refuses to release his grip no matter how much his muscles are twitching, “Seriously. I’m not asking, I’m telling you.” He tries not to scowl as he sighs.
“I can’t sleep…” Kazuichi’s words begin to slur as he tries to fight Hajime off with very little success. There’s nothing he can do to stop Hajime from hoisting Kazuichi’s arm over his shoulder. Carrying the other mans weight as best as he can.
“Too bad. You can’t stay awake either.”
“I’ll throw up.” Kazuichi blanches. His face draining of even more colour if such a thing is even possible.
“Then you’ll throw up. Nothing good is going to happen if you keep standing here. At this rate you’re just going to fall overboard.” He grumbles as he keeps a hold of Kazuichi in spite of the meek way he’s trying to push himself free of Hajime.
Right before they fully move away Hajime throws a last look back at Sonia as he calls over, “Are you good here Sonia? I can try to tag you out soon if you need a break.”
Kazuichi winces and ducks away but there’s only so far he can go to hide away from the sound. Although he shows none of it on his face, he can’t help but feel a little bad for talking so loudly in a sick persons ear but maybe it’s the wake up call he needs. Or maybe he just makes a terrible nurse… Either way it is what it is.
“Yes! I am fine, you do not need to worry about me! It would take more than this to take down Sonia.” In spite of the way she’s smiling, the look never quite reaches her eyes as she scans Kazuichi once more, “Is he okay?”
“He’ll be fine. I just need to make sure he gets some actual rest before we dock.”
The guilt swirls in his belly once more as he looks over at Kazuichi who has fallen still in Hajime’s arms now. Groaning as the swaying of the boat gets worse and worse. It’s impossible to keep himself from wincing at the sight.
At this point they have no idea what they’re going to come face to face with when they dock. All the way out here it’s easy to pretend that nothing has changed. That their little video is still nothing more than a file on the camera. While he still knows they needed to take responsibility for this to preserve the dying dregs of the Future Foundation, it’s certainly starting to feel like a shit move right about now…
“I will keep control of things here then!”
After taking a quick glance at his expression she forces a confident smile, “I most definitely can. Leave it to me.”
Not needing to look back once, he pulls Kazuichi tightly towards him and begins stumbling out of the bridge. Trying to keep Kazuichi as steady as possible, he leads them to the helm of the ship where there’s a small wooden bench. Setting Kazuichi down, he grabs the mans wrist and pushes down on the pressure point gently.
All anger he had been feeling towards Kazuichi just a few hours earlier is nothing more than a distant memory in the back of his mind at this point. Now they both sit there with the salty wind brushing through their hair, Hajime sat on the ground next to the bench and Kazuichi doing his best to stare out at the water. Eyes hazily focused on some point in the distance.
Kazuichi’s gurgling stomach should be making him feel sick but he somehow feels steadier than ever. His eyes fluttering shut as he breathes in the soft wind. He doesn’t even notice when Kazuichi finally drifts off but when he next opens his eyes the boy is still. Chest rising and falling delicately. Still he maintains a soft grip on his wrist. Sitting together as they slowly drift across the ocean.
Notes:
Oddly enough this and the next chapter were the second and third chapters I wrote for this story. God knows why. Three or four years ago when I first came up with the idea and was doing very early plotting I wrote the first chapter and then these two. To this day I have no idea why I chose these chapters out of everything but it was funny going back and seeing a few things I had forgotten to edit out of these chapters when I actually started writing this for real 😂 (hopefully all these old plot lines have been properly removed now)
Chapter 41: 4th of June
Summary:
The ship finally begins to close in on land
Chapter Text
04/06 - 00:19
Hajime’s eyes roam across the horizon as he flexes his stiff hand around the wheel. His entire body is numb and taut at this point but he still doesn't dare move.
Sonia is still wrapped up against his leg, her arms locking his legs in place. She must be cold but she feels firm and still against him - not even the slightest hint of a shiver. It's times like this he wishes they had phones or some kind of communication. He can't exactly shout down to Gundham or the others from up here… The most he dares do is let go of the wheel to bend down and brush her hair out of her face from where the strands have just started creeping towards her mouth.
Thankfully it can't take much longer now. They've almost been aboard for an entire day so the Japanese coast must be somewhere near here. If only it wasn't so bloody dark they might actually be able to see what's going on for once.
Time passes slowly here alone but it's kind of peaceful. Sure, Sonia is breathing softly, some birds are still active far above them and the waves are sweeping by but it still feels like he's the only one out here. Once upon a time he imagines there used to be lots of boats out here. He would have liked to see the ocean active like that but he doubts he's ever going to get to see it at this point…
Small lights have begun appearing along the horizon at this point. He'd been expecting fanfare and rowdy shouts as they got closer to land but there's nothing. With everyone else soundly asleep below there's no one to ruin the homecoming moment. Then again, would they even act like that after everything? It's not like they’re going back to friends or family, just more land and people they've hurt…
He never gets any kind of answer about how everyone else would have reacted though. The soft lights begin ahead get bigger and bigger until they are dotted all along the entire horizon. The dull glow of those pinprick and the stars just about illuminates the silhouettes of broken buildings ahead. They're so destroyed at this point he can't even figure out what port city they've arrived at. Would it really matter if he could?
As the boat draws nearer no one appears on the docks or shores. He has no idea what he would say if they did appear so it's for the best really.
'Ah yes, it's us, the people who destroyed the world, were just here to move back in with you!' That would definitely go well…
Despite the desolate docks, the thought is enough to catch his breath in his chest. It's as if he expects someone to suddenly step out of the darkness but of course no one ever does. The boat thumps softly against the rough wooden decking, drifting along with the waves.
With one hand still trying to steady the boat, he reaches down to carefully pry Sonia off of him. She grumbles softly and tries to squirm back but Hajime isn't dissuaded. No matter how much she tries to move towards him, he keeps firm as he pushes her back. He could probably wake her up at this point but she just looks too peaceful. Just a few more minutes. Just a little more peace.
So, without any one else to help him, he crosses the boat and begins docking it properly. Working swiftly with deft hands he carefully ties up each of the ropes. Muscle memory - or whatever it is Hope's Peak gave him - takes over his own thoughts. Within minutes the boat is secure and steady, the ramp leading off now still and firm against the wood.
It's probably for the best that they've arrived in the night even if it means they need to cut their sleep short. At least they'll have to cover of darkness to start moving. It's better than nothing at least. The part where he actually has to wake up the others is the worst part but he can't avoid it forever.
Sucking in a breath, he moves up the ramp and sets off to wake everyone. Thankfully Sonia doesn't take much to rouse. He gently shakes her shoulder, being careful not to hit her head against the paneling behind her. It's not long before her soft blue eyes are dazedly blinking.
"Hajime…?"
"Heya. We're in Japan now. We need to go wake the others." He isn't quite sure why he's keeping his voice at a soft whisper. It's not like there's anyone else near them. It just feels wrong to raise his voice at a time like this.
"Already?" She sucks in a shallow breath as she begins stretching out awkwardly.
He can only imagine the aches and pains from sleeping upright like that. Maybe he should have tried to carry her down to the others to sleep. Well, it's too late for thoughts like that now.
"Yeah, you ready to get up?" Sonia sucks in a breath before plastering on a sweet smile. It wobbles at the edges as she nods and holds back a yawn.
"Come on then."
He reaches down to lend her an arm. Without even thinking she grabs ahold and he pulls her up onto her feet. For a second she wobbles, her nails digging into him, before she steadies and straightens up.
Arm in arm they head down to the others. Sonia is chatting about something but the words are just going in one ear and out the other. He thinks it's something about a dream she just had but the words don't even seem to make sense anymore. Her voice quickly drops off as they begin to approach the sleeping forms of their friends.
Without needing to speak a word to each other, they split the work in two. Silently agreeing to take half the room each. Clearly he didn't negotiate enough in that process though as he's somehow ended up with Hiyoko, Peko, and Fuyuhiko in his half.
Despite a near miss with Peko - he's never been more relieved to have good reflexes - and an attempted slap from Hiyoko, they manage to work through the group one by one. The room is slowly filled with groan upon groan. The soft shuffling of half awake bodies dragging themselves about.
Sharp eyes dig into him from the corner where Hiyoko has tucked herself away, pressed up against Mahiru. Well, for a short while anyway before they've drifted closed once again. He takes solace in the knowledge she's going to have to wake up when they start walking at least.
"Ughhhh, couldn't we have waited until morning to land?" Teruteru groans, hunched over with his head between his legs.
A chorus of groans ring out in approval across the room. He can't help but rolls his eyes as he looks for some kind of solidarity in the room. Nagito is as chipper as ever, that dazed looking smile still hanging on tightly. Other than him, the only people he can rely on are Mitarai, Sonia, and Nekomaru apparently. Even Ibuki looks deflated as she attempts to keep blinking her eyes open wearily.
"The sooner we dock the better, would you not agree?" Sonia tries to build up some enthusiasm - or even just agreement - with her chipper voice but it's just not happening. Even Gundham shakes his head at the words.
"Alas beasts of the darkness like ourselves need sufficient rest to reach the pinnacle of our magical talents."
"Yeah, what he said." Akane growls with her arms crossed.
Okay, it's time to put his foot down then. He steps closer to them all and holds a firm stance.
"Being low on sleep isn't ideal but we have the cover of darkness now. I don't know how many people know us here but we should be able to move through the area without being noticed for a while this way. I think staying away from other people while we try to sort ourselves out is best and the dark is going to let us do that. But if you want to stay here in this boat catching up on sleep then be my guest." He waves at the boat around them dramatically.
Sure, they wouldn't leave anyone behind at this point but they don't need to know that. In his experience fear always works.
As if proving his point, a few more sleepy faces blink into alertness. People slowly begun getting up off the floor as they grab their meager supplies and prepare themselves. The supplies are never going to be enough to sustain them long but at least they have something for the next few days.
"Here, let me." He reaches over to help Mikan sort out her bag.
"Thanks…" Her smile is wobbly and weak.
By the time it's all sorted most of them have already left the room. Sonia's commanding voice is just about audible as she guides everyone off the ship. The only people left with them are the ones who seemingly want nothing to do with the rest of the group. He can feel Hiyoko and Mahiru's eyes stabbing into him, even with his back turned. And it's hard to miss Teruteru failing miserably at fading into the shadows of the room with his white shirt.
"Come on. We don't want to fall behind." He reaches over and takes Mikan’s shaking hand as the rest of the group disappear off ahead.
Her bag is slumped over on the floor where her shaking hand dropped it. Haphazardly laying there as if taunting them. This is why they grabbed bags with zips…
"Y-Yeah…"
She'd seemed so lively earlier when they were playing truth or lie but now her hands are shivering even when clutched between his. It might be the middle of the night but the air on his exposed skin isn't exactly cold. Nevertheless he shrugs off his jumper and throws it over Mikan.
"Here, I'll carry your bag." He clears his throat and hauls her bag over his other shoulder.
"N-No…it's okay…I can…carry…it…" She has to sniffle her way through ever word. Her thin, almost skeletal, hands are clawing at his jacket and pulling it as tightly around her as possible.
Before she can feebly start reaching for her own bag he starts heading off after the others. He doesn't even look back at Mikan as she scampers after him. Not that he needs to when he can hear her stumbling from a mile away.
"Really…it's…fine…I…can…hold…it…" She squeezes the words out as something between a whimper and a pant. He just grips the bag tighter though. Refusing to let it budge as he keeps them both moving along as fast as he dares.
"Don't worry, it'll just be easier if I hold it."
"Okay…" She sniffles out the final word as they join up with everyone else on the top deck.
Thankfully, as if appearing from thin air, Ibuki spawns next to Mikan. One arm wraps around the other girl, quieting the sniffles. Keeping her close and sheltered as Hajime finally breaks away from her side.
For some reason everyone steps back as he approaches, clearing a path for him to step off first. Typical. It's probably for the best though. Much like when they boarded, everyone files after him one by one. Not a single one speaks this time though. It's more like a funeral procession than a homecoming party. In a way it sort of is…
The ground crackles under Hajime’s shoe as he touches the ground. Small chunks of rubble biting the underside of his shoe. He tries to imagine how this place would have looked before. He imagines a sunny day with the sunlight reflecting off the water and windows of the towering buildings. He imagines flowers and plants in planters, perfectly decorating the smooth neat dockyard.
Instead his shoes crunch the scraps of a forgotten era. The thick cloud of pollution is hovering over everything, smothering any light that emanates off the moon hanging in the sky. The buildings lining the land around them have exposed skeletons in parts. Some of the buildings gutted with their structure and insides peeking through.
Things don't exactly get better the further they go. While the crunch underfoot is ever present, the touches of life grow stronger and stronger as they move forward. They can see soft flickering light coming from some windows in distant buildings. There are even soft murmurs of words being carried on the wind.
Hajime finds his own steps growing quieter and quieter as they draw deeper into the city. Avoiding as much broken glass and rubble as possible with every step. It's like a dial in his mind has been turned up to max as thoughts of the rest of the group drift to the back of his mind. Every muscle in his body and mind is focused on the world beyond.
Even when they're sticking to the dark side alleys, it feels like eyes are watching from above. No matter how much he strains his neck, he can't see any peering eyes. He keeps pushing them further and further forwards- ignoring the prickling feeling that's slowly growing.
Hajime is so focused on moving forward he almost doesn't notice the soft pulling on his sleeve. When he finally turns around to look he sees Nagito's hand tugging against him. Everyone else is hanging back, staring at something. Not just something, they're looking at a poster.
Mikan's face is staring back at them, her eyes wild and unstable. Someone had graffitied over the image with the sprawling word despair messily across the girls face. It does nothing to hide the girls manic expression though. The girl that once was. The girl that this place remembers.
Short sharp breathing cuts through the cold night air. Mikan is hunched over amongst the crowd. Her dark hair hangs in front of her face. A thick tangled curtain. The only thing disrupting the black sheet is the ripples of her breath. Strands break free as her heavy breaths burst forwards.
"Hey, it's okay! It's okay!" Ibuki is fiercely running her friends back. Even Mikan can't be fooled by that smile though.
The once quiet group has rippled out into murmurs. No clear audible words but a soft terror spilling out further and further.
"They know who we are then…" Nagito’s words are as soft as the others. He's not even sure if he was meant to hear it.
It's not exactly a surprise to hear but it's certainly not good news. It doesn't mean they all will be recognised…right?
No, it would be delusional to think that. With the video broadcast all over the world there is no reason to think they’re safe. Not really. Sure they might have just been silhouettes but that does very little to make them feel better about this whole mess.
"What are we going to do now?" Fuyuhiko turns to him with a heavy sigh.
"We can't stay here! They're going to try to kill us all!" Hiyoko’s hiss is somehow both quiet and loud at the same time.
"Yeah! We ain't gonna let'em kill us!" Akane’s eyes haven't left the poster once.
Hajime looks around the alleyway slowly. He watches the huddled group of them shivering in the darkness. The poster strewn up haphazardly. The dark alleyway still devoid of life and attention. What is he meant to say to them?
"We need to find somewhere to spend the night and talk." He slowly looks around at the buildings around them. There has to be somewhere suitable around here.
Sure enough, despite the clear logic, groans erupt through the group. With hushed voices they all move closer, no voice audible amongst the rabble. Still grumbling even now. If he didn’t know better he would think they want to get caught!
"Shut up!" He slams a hand against the poster as he hisses at them all as quietly as he can manage. With just the one hand he fists the poster and pulls it down. The corners are still left hanging dejectedly on the bricks as he drops the rest of the crumpled paper. With one harsh stomp, it becomes nothing more than a stain underfoot.
His glare ripples across the huddle. They don't exactly back away but they aren't chattering over each other which is better than nothing. He could basically slice through the thickened quiet in the air.
"Look, I know you're all worried but we can't just live at sea for the rest of our lives." Kazuichi's face pales at the mere thought, "We need to find somewhere to bunker down for the day so we can come up with a plan. If you disagree you can turn back and get on the boats yourselves but I'm staying here and figuring out what to do."
That seems to do the trick at the very least. They all quietly move to the sides of the alley. Sticking vehemently to the shadows at the walls.
Nagito shuffles beside him in what Hajime assumes is meant to be a subtle way, "What do we do now?"
Despite what he said to them all, he has no idea what he’s doing. Not really. He can feel the sweat slowly gathering on his brow. What are they going to do? How much further do they keep going as such a large group at this point? It's not like there is no one around here. What if him dragging them further into the city gets them all killed?
"We need to find somewhere to stay." He mutters under his breath, hoping Nagito will be able to hear him still.
"Most of them look abandoned…" Nagito hums softly. There's an almost glassy look to his eyes as he examines the buildings around them. Despite everything, the corners of his mouth are still upturned.
His eyes dart back to the group still standing awkwardly pressed up against the walls beside them. With their hoods pulled up over their faces he almost cant tell who is who. Almost. Sunken shoulders and hanging heads are all you can really make out in this low light.
"Hey, Nagito." He slows ever so slightly as he reaches over to tug at Nagito’s sleeve. "Do you think you could go and investigate some of these nearby buildings. Just see if they look uninhabited."
Normally he'd immediately write the places off but he's seen how people can live. Walking right into a building full of people might not be the best idea. At least Nagito isn't as well known by the public. Normally he would send someone like Mitarai or Kazuma who are almost impossible to get picked up but looking at them now it feels cruel to send them both off when Mitarai looks ready to throw up at any second. They've had more than their fair share of bad luck at this point - it's about time for some good luck.
Nagito nods his head slowly before sliding away from the group. With their heads down, barely anyone even looks twice as he disappears.
"Nagito will find a place we can stay and then we'll sort it out from there." He mutters as he nods his head. It's impossible to tell if anyone is even listening though. At the very least they huddle up and don't make a sound
He finds himself staring after Nagito. As if he could just stare enough and summon the man back. Minutes pass with no sign of him though. Realistically it was never going to be that fast but he prays just a little harder anyway. He's never been more relieved to see the scruffy mop of white hair pop up from behind the doorway.
"It's definitely abandoned. We should be safe for at least one night." Nagito whispers softly as he slides beside Hajime.
Finally. He breathes a sigh of relief.
They haven't even walked for an hour and he already exhausted. He has to stop himself from racing forwards. He can't look too enthusiastic.
Abandoned is certainly one way to say it. Dust, dirt and rubble is all around where chunks of the interior wall have been knocked free. He could swear he sees the dark shape of a mouse or insect flicker by the edges of the room. The smell palpable as everyone turns up their noses in unison - not that he can blame them.
As much as he'd like to scold them, it would be unfair. While he constantly slept in far worse places before they went to Jabberwock, he's since learned the simple pleasures of a bed. Even at their worst as remnants of despair he can't imagine Sonia, Hiyoko, or Teruteru sleeping on the floor. What choice is there though? He can't imagine the next time they'll be able to sleep on a bed. Will there ever be one?
"You can't be serious?!" Hiyoko’s wet eyes plead with him.
Before he can even think about answering, a drip splatters on his shoulder sending a shiver down his back. Things don't get much better than this. Sure enough there is a shiny sheen to the floor where small puddles are forming.
"It's barely better than outside…" Kazuichi sighs.
"At least we’re away from people." Fuyuhiko grumbles as he folds his arms. Scanning the room as his forehead wrinkles up as much as it possibly can.
No matter how much they might want to, none of them can argue about that. The poster was a sufficient jolt to them all it seems. In the back of his mind he wonders if they feel the itchy presence of eyes following them too…
So, although their complaints and disgusted looks don't fade at all, they get to work. If they can't find a better building they can at least find some mattresses and cushions to make it a little more bearable.
Spreading out they work in pairs to stalk through the derelict building together. Searching for anything to make sleeping here at least slightly comfortable. However the longer they search, the less hope is left of that ever being possible.
With no one left to partner with, Nagito had ended up tailing behind him. The pair of them squeezing through jagged windows to push through into the adjoining buildings. Holding their breaths as they brace themselves for someone to pop out but of course they never do.
Looking at the state of everything around them he can’t help but question the quality of anything the do manage to find in these buildings. The only thing keeping his mouth shut is the fact that this was his idea in the first place. However there’s no way he’s going to be able to convince Hiyoko or Teruteru - hell even Sonia - to sleep on insect ridden or mouldy mattresses. There is way he can sell that idea regardless of how hard he tries.
He just clings onto the belief that if anyone was going to be capable of finding halfway decent mattresses in this dump it would be the two of them. This is exactly what their talents were for, right?
“Do you think the others are doing okay?” Nagito mutters under his breath. Eyes wide as he looks around the room. Not a hint of disgust flickering past them. Not even for a second. It’s almost impressive if it wasn’t so weird.
Crumpling up his nose, he brushes down a few cobwebs with his hand. Trying not to shudder as the thin strands wrap around his skin. Sticking to every exposed piece of flesh. Even rubbing it off on his shirt doesn’t seem to make the slightest bit of difference.
“No idea. Hopefully.”
How badly can it really go? What is the worst that can happen…? He doesn’t dare say those words out loud though at the risk of jinxing them.
“They’re all beacons of hope after all. I’m sure they’re doing something wonderful.”
Snorting, he smirks into the darkness, “Wonderful is certainly one way to say it.”
Ducking, he slips under an overhanging rebar. Doing his best to ignore the dust which sprinkles onto the back of his neck as he slithers past. The creaking of the building doesn’t exactly spark confidence in any of this. Maybe going back to the Future Foundation facility would have been the best thing to do after all…
He’s just about to round a corner when the soft groans turn into a sharp crack behind him. Not wasting a second he twists around. Almost snapping his neck as he searches the corridor behind him.
Dust is floating in the air. A thick cloud which blocks out all light. Like a swarm drifting through the narrow corridor. It takes his eyes a second to adjust, straining to peer through the mess and debris.
The first thing he is able to make out is Nagito sprawled on the floor. His mechanical hand pinned down but a large piece of rubble. The bar he had ducked under earlier now dislodged, holding the other man tightly to the ground. A long piece of rebar jutting out from the concrete is stabbed through the ground beside him. Piercing through the side of his shirt slightly to pin him even closer to the ground. Millimeters away from his stomach. Just a hairs breadth away from being fatal.
His hair is always white, but with dust clinging to the strand it looks even whiter than ever. You could almost pretend it was delicate flecks of snow instead of filthy ash. Nevertheless, he doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest. Still smiling as he lays out flat on the floor. In spire of the circumstances he doesn’t even try to lift his head up, letting it just linger there in the dirt, dust, and debris.
For a split second he freezes, his eyes clouding over as another scene fills his vision. Pink splaying out across the floor. His stupid grinning face replaced by one of horror. Hollow eyes. Crumpled tape. Iron and smoke in the air. Pale skin. And pink. Pink everywhere. Gradually staining the clothes, skin, and floor all around him.
No matter how much he tries to remind himself it’s nothing more than a memory, he can’t seem to shake the smell away. His heart beating in his throat as he hears Nagito mumble something in the distance. Whatever he says is lost though as Hajime just focuses on the almost imperceptible sound of Nagito’s heart beat echoing through the otherwise desolate corridor.
“-ime?”
Shaking his head clear he clenches his hands into fists until the pressure is almost unbearable. Snapping himself awake as he finally closes the distance between himself and Nagito. Hands shaking as he drops to his knees and grips onto the rebar. Carefully lifting it as he pretends his hands are stable. Refusing to focus on anything but Nagito.
It takes longer than it should considering who he is but he manages to lift it enough to pull it free from Nagito's shirt until the only sign he had been pinned down is the gaping hole in the fabric. As he breaks free, he squirms on the floor and kicks up grime which puffs up into a cloud around him once again. Only once Nagito is visibly free does he gently lower the bar onto the ground.
“Are you okay?” He looks Nagito up and down. Scanning for the tell tale pink splotches decorating his body. Trying to override the images still plaguing his mind.
It's a miracle that there's not even a single hint of pink and yet it does little to ease the knot in his stomach. His mind constantly imagining pink splotches where they aren't there.
“Oh, I’m fine.” Nagito’s tone is completely calm but Hajime can still see the beads of sweat clinging onto his forehead. Shimmering in the dim light of the abandoned room. Beams of moonlight peeking through the cracks in the wall to illuminate him, giving him away as they catch on the sweat droplets.
Although he tries to suppress the movement, there’s no hiding the unstable way his chest rises and falls. Stuttering forcefully as he attempts to casually brush himself off. With all the ash it’s hard to tell if his skin has somehow become paler or if it’s just the ash making him look that way.
Resting a hand against the wall to keep him standing upright, he tilts his head upwards to look at the ceiling which had caved in alongside the pillar. Shaking out his hair casually as he tries to examine what’s above them, “Oh, look at that.” A shaky hand reaches up to point into the hole.
Frowning, he follows Nagito's gaze and peers into the darkness above, “No way…” He mumbles, letting his mouth drop open.
They can’t see much from this angle but he can just about make out a bed hovering over the corner of the hole. One of the legs of the bed hanging over the hole. Tilting slightly as the floor (or ceiling technically) creaks around it.
“Look at that.” He chuffs, resting his hands on his hips, “How many do you think are up there?” He grins as he nudges Nagito gently.
“Depends how lucky we are.” Nagito chuckles but it sounds slightly stilted through his mildly ragged breaths.
Neither of them need to say anything to answer that. Who knows, maybe there will be a perfect 16 beds up there. Or maybe that’s pushing their luck a little too far.
“Come on then. We should look up there.” He carefully shuffles under the hole. Standing atop the shattered pillar precariously. That’s not enough to even start getting him close to the ceiling though. If only a ladder would magically fall out of the ceiling too…
“Can you lift me up?” Nagito shuffles over towards him, looking between Hajime and the ceiling.
“Sure.”
He crouches down as low as he can get. Knitting his hands together to make a little platform beside Nagito’s legs. Without wasting a second, Nagito rests a hand on his shoulder and gently places his feet onto the platform. Or as carefully as he can given that he’s resting his entire weight on Hajime. This is what he was built for though. With very little effort, he stands up straight and begins lifting Nagito closer and closer to the ceiling until he’s fully stood up.
From this position he can’t lift his head up to see what’s going on. His head tilted down towards the ground as he puts all his focus into stabilising himself. But no matter how long he stands like that, Nagito’s weight never vanishes. He can feel him moving about. Reaching. Straining. Small lumps of rock and dirt tumbling down from above to slip down the back of Hajime’s shirt.
“Can you reach?” He strains as hard as he can to push the words out. Hoping it’s legible enough to even make any sense.
“Not quite. It’s just out of reach. This section just keeps crumbling.”
That’s…comforting to hear. The last thing they need is for the whole ceiling to fall down on them.
Readjusting his hands he lifts Nagito as high as he can. Feeling his arms shaking painfully, “Try standing on my shoulders. It’ll get you higher.” Still he grits his teeth and widens his stance in preparation. Stiffening his body as much as possible to give Nagito the best chance he can.
“I’ll try it.” Nagito mutters distantly before raising a tentative foot to settle on Hajime’s shoulder.
It takes everything he has to not cough as a cloud of ash splutters in his face. Forcing himself to be as still and steady as he can.
Nagito’s shoe digs into his shoulder painfully. Cutting off the blood in his muscles and sending searing pain through his shoulder. And yet in the face of all that, he still refuses to let it phase him. Once the one foot is stable, Nagito cautiously lifts the other to set it on Hajime’s other shoulder. With his hands free he reaches around to grab onto both of Nagito’s ankles. Anchoring him down as best he can.
For a second they both wobble precariously, the slightest wisp of wind ready to send them both tumbling down. But, much to his relief, their luck still manages to pull through just long enough for Nagito to reach up.
From this angle he can't make out everything but he can catch sight of Nagito gripping onto the rough concrete looming above them. Amongst the sound of him scrambling, Hajime can just make out a dry chuckle.
“I got it.”
As soon as he says that, the weight lifts from his shoulders. For a split second he could almost be tricked into thinking he has gone completely weightless. Adjusting slowly to the lack of pressure all of a sudden.
Finally able to raise his head, he searches after Nagito. Peering up into the ceiling cautiously. Nagito’s legs are still hanging down from the ceiling - dropping rubble down on him even now - but the rest of him has vanished.
“What’s it like up there?” He calls up a little too brazenly, cupping his mouth with one hand as if Nagito is a meters away. While it might not be shouting, compared to the silence enveloping them it might as well be.
Even in spite of that Nagito barely pays him any mind as he continues to dutifully wriggle along the floor until he’s fully pulled his legs in. The distant sound of him brushing himself off calling back to Hajime.
“Well…” Even though there’s a gaping hole between them, his words sound muffled and distant. Like they’re simply drifting through the air, “This must have been a dormitory or something. They have loads of mattress up here.” The voice gets fainter and fainter as he goes on. The soft sound of his footsteps echoing down from above. He can’t help but wince with each one as the ceiling begins to creak more and more. Maybe he should have gone up instead of Nagito. After all, his luck isn’t exactly the safest.
“How many?” He tries to crane his neck up further but it’s pointless.
“Um…” Nagito pauses for a few seconds to count, “I think around twenty or so…?”
“That’s perfect!” He laughs, “Do you think you can throw them down?”
What are the chances? If he didn't know any better he might even think Nagito was messing with him. It's probably best if he doesn't look the gift horse in the mouth honestly…
Nagito’s head pops back into the hole. Staring down at him as he clings onto the crumbling edge, “I should be able to. There aren’t great pillows but they do have a few. Should I throw those down too?”
“Might as well. We’ll take what we can get for now.” He’s not too sure how nice moldy pillows from a place like this would be but they might as well look. You never know after all, “I’ll go and see if I can find the others to help speed it up.”
Running down the halls, he ducks back through the hole they had come through to get here. Scanning the nearby buildings high and low to find anyone he can. Most of them aren’t too difficult to locate but no matter how much he searches, he can’t find Fuyuhiko, Peko or Teruteru at all. It’s like they had completely dropped off the face of the earth.
Part of him knows he should keep looking for them but he can't be bothered to keep dragging this out. No doubt they will come crawling out of the woodwork once all the hardworking has actually been done.
As he finds people he sends them right through to begin the transport. Mere ants slowly pacing through the crumbling halls. Heads down. Breaths held. Each doing their best to struggle along in dead silence with the overly dusty mattresses.
Unable to carry the mattresses properly, Akane and Mitarai are saddled with clinging onto the pillows for dear life. Poor Mitarai fighting mercilessly against gravity as the pillows begin slipping out of his hands unceremoniously.
Eventually everyone else vanishes, Ibuki dragging a mattress behind her as she walks backward. Straining and groaning the entire time. After that the only people left are him and Nagito. Two mattresses left for them as if they hadn’t already done more than enough work. Only Nekomaru, Sonia and Kazuichi had had the foresight to come back and take an extra mattress though. Without anyone else around there’s nothing else they can do but resign themselves to their fates.
“That should be enough now.” He shouts up into the hole. Hoping Nagito is close enough to be able to hear him.
“Are you sure?” Nagito’s head pops back out like the little meerkat. Hair still messy and rugged.
“I’m sure. I’ll help you get down.”
“It’s okay. You don’t need to go out of your way for me. I’ll find my own way down.” Nagito vanishes again. Not even giving Hajime the chance to respond. But even though he’s gone, Hajime refuses to budge. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Nagito…but…okay, he just doesn’t quite trust the guy to not simply pitch himself off and onto their level.
For a few minutes he simply stands there, staring up at the ceiling impatiently. Tapping his foot against the ground in a rhythmic way as he waits. But eventually a small strand of fabric drops down from the ceiling. Thumping onto the ground over dramatically. Seconds later Nagito comes sliding down. His legs buckling slightly as he tries to stabilise himself to no avail.
Catching his breath slightly, he examines the corridor expectantly. But for course only emptiness and quiet greets him though. The lonely corridor calling back to him.
“Time to head back then.” He brushes off his hands causally and reaches towards the mattress nearest him. Yanking it across the floor with as much elegance as he can muster at this moment.
“I suppose so.”
Hajime goes as slowly as he can. Letting Nagito catch up to walk just behind him. Both of them moving in silence, the only sound being the soft dragging of the mattress on the rough floor.
~~~
04/06 - 06:14
Sighing, he looks up at the ceiling. Tracing the cracks that have permeated deep into the concrete of the building. At first it had been hard to make out much of anything but as the sun begins to rise he starts to catch new cracks stretching out across the wide expanse.
After everything that had happened over the last few days he would have thought it would be easier to sleep. Hell, he can’t remember the last time he actually slept. Properly at least.
Although they have a sea of mattresses around them and he’s wrapped himself up tightly in his thin blanket, he still can’t force his eyes closed. The crumpled up bag he’s using in place of an actual pillow probably isn’t helping matters.
The room they had settled in isn’t exactly the biggest. In fact, quite the opposite. Although they had dragged down sixteen mattresses, they hadn’t quite considered the logistics of actually fitting the mattresses into the room. Doing their best to squeeze everything in, they ended up needing to half fold the mattresses. Making little cradles that everyone is now snuggled in.
Though the night - or dawn - is somewhat chilly outside, the cramped space of the room makes it impossible to believe. He can already feel beads of sweat sticking to his forehead as he kicks off his covers.
Even though they had been sleeping on the boat, they had all crashed almost immediately as they fell down onto the mattresses. No one daring the push the boundaries by speaking as the night drew ever onward. Now he can just hear them snoring softly, barely more than whispers in the whistling of the wind outside the building.
At least everyone except Nekomaru who rumbles and bellows loudly. Practically shaking the room around him. And although Mikan doesn’t snore, the rustling as she twists around her blankets more than makes up for the noise.
Groaning, he jolts upright and stares out across the room. Looking at the chaos they have created in the slowly building light. Sun rays begin to peek through the cracks in the walls. Splaying across everyone sleeping forms. Poor Mahiru has to grumble and duck her head under her blanket to shield herself from the brightness.
Stretching out his arms he gives up even the pretense of sleep. The higher the sun begins to rise, the tighter the knot in his stomach grows. Twisting and choking painfully. It only gets worse as sounds from outside begin to echo up. Muffled conversations and the crashing of metal on the streets below.
Running a hand through his hair and tugging, he slouches over and forces himself up off the mattress. Shuffling across the room cautiously and carefully stepping over the sleeping forms of Ibuki, Teruteru, and Mitarai to reach the window at the other side of the room.
He knew that letting them shove him in the middle of the room was a bad idea.
Each of the mattresses sink slightly, bowing as he rests his weight on them. Teruteru groans and rolls over. Almost wrapping himself around Hajime’s foot but luckily Hajime manages to dart onto the next mattress before he can make his move.
As soon as he reaches the wall, he presses against it. Trying to stay out of the way of the rays as if they’re laser which are going to rip into him at a moments notice. Although the room is already warm, it is gradually beginning to heat up even more as he stands near the sunbeams. It’s easy to forget the summer has begun after being locked inside that building for so long. When he closes his eyes he can almost pretend he’s still basking in the island sun within the Neo World Program.
After building up a little courage, he leans towards the crack as far as he dares to. Drinking in the sights of the world beyond them. Or as much as he can make out from this awkward angle.
When they had been walking through earlier it had looked almost abandoned but there’s no making that mistake now. People are milling around outside. Some of them sat by doorsteps and others marching along with their heads down. Never meeting anyone’s eyes.
It’s not like the place is swarming with people or anything - it’s far from a crowd - but it’s still jarring. After so long of being with the same small group of people anything beyond their little bubble feels unnatural. He had forgotten just how loud things can be. Even with so few people around, he finds his ears ringing slightly. Looking out there somehow feels more claustrophobic than being in here, piled on top of a bunch of other people. A choking smoke wrapping around him.
Maybe coming out here was a big mistake. How will they ever go back out there into a world like that again? He’s never been made for a world like that. Even when he was in crowded cities in the past, he always felt like he was merely floating above everything else. Watching people scurrying about from a birds eye view. Yet now as he actually is looking down on them he feels like he’s being crushed under everything else.
“What are you doing up?” Kazuichi groans from the other side of the room.
How long has he been awake? He’s sat up slightly, resting his weight on his elbows just enough to keep his head propped up. Likely for the sole reason of being able to give Hajime that judgmental little stare.
“I should be asking you that.”
“No, you already forced me to sleep. Or did you forget.” Kazuichi grumbles but flops back down onto the mattress anyway. Bouncing slightly on the old springs as he sighs a little too loudly.
“It was needed. Besides, it made you stop thinking about throwing up - right?”
“Whatever. You never answered my question.”
He’s not sure what he’s supposed to say. There’s no real explanation at all. He gets the feeling Kazuichi isn’t going to accept ‘no reason’ as an answer though. Unsure of what else to do he slides down the wall until he’s sat against the wall.
“I just wanted to look at the world out there.” He sighs, “Do you ever miss it?”
“What? All that?” Kazuichi lowers his voice as if they’re talking about something illegal. He falls completely silent after that. Just laying there. For a minute he thinks he’s just fallen right back to sleep (it wouldn’t be the first time after all), but right as he’s about to get up and go back to his own bed, Kazuichi groans, “Not really. We’re not the same as those people now.”
“Then why did we come here?” The words spill out before he’s had time to really consider what he’s asking. Maybe he was the one being naïve in all of this…
Turning away and pulling his blanket tightly around him, Kazuichi mumbles, “You need to sleep Hajime. We don’t need you passing out on us.”
“Fine.” He sighs, “Whatever.”
That’s that then he supposes. It’s not like he can say anything else to that. So instead he stumbles back to his own bed and buries himself in the blanket. Trying pathetically to find anyway to reach sleep. Yet another fools errand.
Chapter 42: 5th of June
Summary:
Now awake and refreshed they need to decide where to go from here
Chapter Text
05/06 - 00:00
“What…are…we….actually…doing…here?” Hiyoko groans between huffs as she shoves at her mattress with all her strength.
While it had been…fun to sit in the room all day in what might as well have been silence, they had figured since people had started to vanish from the streets and are less likely to overhear, this is the time to move the mattresses to the side to stop themselves tripping on the uneven surface. It's even more important when people like Ibuki are taking to running about. Almost tripping about ten times on the sticking up edges. She was only saved from smashing her face by the mattresses covering literally every inch of the room.
It’s not like they could be bothered to walk each of them right back to where they found them. And even if they could be bothered he’s not sure they actually could get all sixteen back up into the ceiling. Instead they had settled on the far more achievable goal of simply leaning them all up against the wall. Each of them taking their own mattresses which went easier for some people than others.
Case and point Hiyoko who is panting with a red face. Growling as she kicks and shoves the mattress with all her might. Scowling as it wobbles and falls back down every time. The problem with going last when everyone else has already made an insurmountable stack against the wall.
“Let’s not pretend any of us know.” Fuyuhiko grumbles slightly which earns him a less than attractive sneer from Hiyoko. However that might actually be more a result of the way he’s sat on the floor, leaning against the mattresses . Peko hovering behind him like always; pretending she doesn’t notice the way Hiyoko refuses to ever tilt her head up towards the swordswoman.
“She does have a point though.” Hajime sighs, rubbing his temples methodically.
Most people are sat cross legged on the floor by Hajime as they wait for everyone else to finish. Meanwhile Hajime himself as perched on the ‘windowsill’ - or what is now a pseudo-windowsill at least. From here the view was slightly better. Giving him a slight glimpse at the now far emptier streets. Of course it’s never going to be dead still and silent but compared to the hustle of earlier in the day, it feels positively peaceful.
“What d’ya mean?” Akane juts out her lower jaw as she slouches against the wall. A small hacky sack in her hand. He has no idea where she found it - probably while she was searching the rooms yesterday - but it had been wonderful at keeping her and Nekomaru busy for the last hour or two. Ibuki, who has now been robbed of her favourite game, is laying between them both. Her head twisting to follow the ball as if completely hypnotized. Or maybe she’s just lost her mind after all this time.
“I mean, what are we doing?”
“Yeah, that’s really helpful.” Kazuichi reaches up over his head to pat Hajime’s leg from where he’s sat, leaning against Hajime’s legs. Or at least he attempts to. He barely even brushes Hajime’s leg before Hajime bats his hand away. Almost fully knocking Kazuichi aside. It certainly is tempting to fully kick him over…
“Fine, if you need it simplified: do we want to stay here?” He rolls his eyes and leans further against the wall. Wincing slightly as the rotting wood creaks painfully.
“Do we want to stay in the rotten slowly crumbling building that you said almost impaled Nagito earlier?” Mahiru grumbles as she chucks a small stone across the floor. Watching it skitter across the dusty floor before coming to rest in the small pile of stone pieces that had started to accumulate in front of her. Held together by hopes and dreams.
“I’m fine. It was just me after all.” Nagito chuckles but no one pays him any mind.
“Do you want to keep moving on then?” He raises an unimpressed eyebrow towards Mahiru. He can’t blame her though. How long will their luck really hold out. This place is one bad storm away from being nothing but a heap on the floor. No wonder it was abandoned in the first place.
“So we shall set off on yet another voyage into the pits of hell? Stalking the night planes to find somewhere to lay our flag.” Gundham makes it sound far more exciting and fortuitous than he can actually see it going. The aim is just to manage not to die. If they can manage that then they’re getting somewhere.
“Ughhh! We’re not walking again!” Hiyoko groans, kicking her mattress one more time. Somehow that isn’t what was needed to help it balance though. Who would have thought…
Huffing and puffing she simply watches as it falls down once more. Giving up and falling straight down onto it with a pained screech. Doing her best to muffle it in the fabric at least.
“It will not be so bad, you will see. It will be like an adventure. The kind you would see in a fantasy tale.” Sonia tries to comfort Hiyoko but all she gets as thanks is a scowl. It’s not like they couldn’t see that coming though.
Frowning, Kazuma mumbles, “I thought you like Japanese drama’s.”
“Fantasy can be most…tight too!”
Clearing he throat with a wide eyed look of bewilderment, Peko mutters, “Leaving seems like the smartest course of action. This place isn’t the most safe and we are free to entirely go where we please. We should find somewhere we can all be comfortable.” Her cheeks pink slightly as everyone twists to look at her (almost everyone anyway) but she maintains her perfect posture the entire time.
“As usual, Peko is right.” Nekomaru nods encouragingly, “There’s loads of place we can visit in Japan. If we settle now we won’t want to leave later.”
Honestly, he’s not sure he agrees. Regardless of what they choose he can’t imagine them sticking here for long at all. No matter how much they might be willing to settle out of fear now, he knows them well enough to know that likely won’t last long. It’s a matter of when not if.
“Besides, this place is like a death trap for Mikan.” Ibuki cackles, kicking her legs upwards energetically. He’s starting to wonder if he accidentally slipped her some caffeine or something.
“S-Sorry…” Bawls as her lip quivers. Her sobs loud enough to drown out Hiyoko’s loud tutting at least.
“I don’t think she means it that way.” But no matter what Kazuma tries, there’s no consoling her. Not that there ever is.
“So we’re all okay with walking?” Kazuichi calls out, trying to scan the room for the nodding heads.
Looking about, he does his best to read each and every person gathered around. Their faces open books. Hiyoko might be scowling and grumbling now but with Mahiru on board he doesn’t doubt she’ll follow along. Mikan might be sobbing but she doesn’t need to say anything for him to know how she feels.
The only person who seems uncertain is Mitarai. He’s squirreled himself into the corner of the room. Shrinking into the shadows as best he can given the limited space in the room. Fiddling with a long piece of thread which had started to poke out from the edge of his sleeve. Slowly tugging at it and making it grow larger and larger.
“Mitarai?” He calls out tentatively but the mans head snaps up and once. Terror swimming in his eyes, “Are you okay moving on?”
He nods ferociously, ducking his head to avoid everyone else’s eyes. But it’s not enough to sell Hajime. Grilling him isn’t going to do much though. At this point they’re just going to have to go with it if Mitarai isn’t going to speak up.
“That’s settled then.” Nekomaru claps a little too loudly, making everyone around him flinch away.
His karma coming when Akane launches the hacky sack towards him. Smacking it straight into his cheek. a large red mark flaring up almost instantly. He’s left nursing it with firm rub as everyone else slowly drags themselves upright.
Each of them gradually gather up the scraps that are left of their own belongings as they brace themselves. Ready to set off yet again. Unsure of where they’re going or why but for now that’s okay.
~~~
05/06 - 01:06
As they slowly begin to draw nearer and nearer to the edge of the city, they broken and rubble covered streets slowly become smoother and smoother. Less and less damaged by years worth of battles and explosives.
Buildings become smaller and smaller until they’re nothing but single story homes. Each one spread out more and more so they can see all the overgrown fields which spread out in every direction. Once upon a time they probably grew thousands of crops. Food for a nation. But now it’s just glorified grass and weeds. Unkempt and unrestricted. Maybe he’s mad for thinking it but he almost prefers it this way. Feral and wild and free.
But as nice as they fields are to look at, there are no narrow alleyways for them to use anymore. Nothing to hide behind. Emptiness laid out well ahead of them. They’re completely exposed and the feeling doesn’t exactly leave him brimming with positivity.
As usual, he had been pushed right to the front of the group. Forced to be their makeshift map - regardless of if he actually knows how to navigate the area. If he had an actual map maybe but they could be anywhere in the country and he would know no different.
Loyal as ever, Kazuichi sticks right to his side. Clinging to him like a foul odour. Every now and then he will speed up to walk side by side with Hajime but the longer it goes on, the more he wonders if he’s just trying to move away from Gundham and Sonia who are directly behind them both. Peering over his shoulder surreptitiously whenever their voices grow softer.
Almost everyone is dead silent as they walk - most of their heads down to keep an eye out for trip hazards - so it’s impossible to miss the few voices that are speaking.
“Ooooh! The golden fields of Japan!” Sonia squeals as if they can actually see the colours in this low light, not to mention he’s almost certain they are as far from golden as you can get.
Gundham doesn’t even blink twice before responding though, “Yes, the fields of asphodel that haunt our barren lands.”
“They are most wonderful.”
Behind him he can hear Gundham grumble and stumble. The rough sound of his clothes being pulled from side to side telling him all he needs to hear as Sonia seemingly throws herself and Gundham. Knocking him off balance.
It’s almost impressive that they’re able to keep talking for this long given the practically barren land they’re walking across. After walking for an hour or so down the same rural road (and listening to Hiyoko complain) he would have thought the conversation would stagnate but here they are still talking. He wouldn’t admit it but he kind of likes listening to them. Anything to distract him from the monotonous road ahead.
But not everyone is as enjoyable to listen to. Hiyoko’s whining might be annoying but at least she’s drifting at the back of the group with Mahiru and Teruteru which means he doesn’t need to listen to most of her complaints. Ibuki on the other hand…
“If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands!” Only Mikan shakily ‘claps’ but that doesn’t put a damper on Ibuki’s musical serenade in the slightest.
There’s only so long you can listen to the same overly energetic songs before losing all will to live. He tries to put all his focus on the road ahead but there’s only so much that even that can do. Listening to Gundham and Sonia it is then…
Regardless of what he chooses to focus on, it’s not like he can be completely oblivious to the feelings of everyone around him. He might not look back but there’s no way to miss the heavy weight hanging in the air. Somehow heavier than the it’s ever been before.
In the grand scheme of things an hour or so of walking is very little. Back when he was roaming the world there were days when he would walk almost non stop. Yet something about the desolate roads makes everything feel far more dragged out.
Their once tight little group has slowly been spread out more and more. Most of the time he tries to keep his head forwards, however every now and then he’ll occasionally shoot a look behind him. Each time the space between them appears to be growing larger and larger.
But it’s not just Mahiru, Hiyoko, and Teruteru dropping further back. Almost everyone seems to be. The only exceptions being Nekomaru, Peko and Fuyuhiko who have now overtaken everyone else to hover behind Hajime and Kazuichi.
Mikan and Ibuki are more and more hunched over each time. Mikan clutching at her stomach in a less the comfortable looking way. He can feel his own stomach growling slightly with every step.
You would think they would have passed by some kind of settlement by now. Yet all they see are fields upon fields. It probably doesn’t help that they actually have no idea where they’re going - not that there have been many other roads breaking off of this one to travel down.
Sighing, he grinds to a halt without any warning. Holding firm when Fuyuhiko slams into his back. Groaning softly and rubbing his throbbing nose as Peko rubs his back. Ahead of him Kazuichi spins around, frowning deeply so the creases of his forehead swallow his features.
“What -?”
“I think we should take a short rest. We all need some food and water so we might as well stop as we eat.”
There’s some risk in stopping - after all they might realise just how tired they are after resting. But now he can see Mikan up close it’s clear just how pale she is. It’s worth the risk to make sure they aren’t tearing open her delicate stitches.
“Are you sure?” Nekomaru hums as he crosses his arms but all Hajime needs to do is nod towards the group behind them to make their point.
“Come on, lets sit at the side of the road.” He leads the way, stepping off the road itself to find a perch at the edge of the field. Stopping and resting on a low wall that’s half crumbled to pieces.
“It’s not like we’ve seen a single car so far.” Kazuichi complains but still comes off the road to sit right beside Hajime. Slinging his bag off his back to begin rifling through it.
Everyone else quickly follows suit. Some taking more care to find a nice space - like Mahiru and Sonia who brush debris off the wall with matching delicate strokes - while others like Nagito and Ibuki simply throw themselves on the ground. Staring up at the bright moon which is luminous amongst the inky blackness of the sky. Fuzzy through the haze of the pollution which stains the world red.
Kazuichi brings out a small box of crackers, holding it out to Hajime, but he simply waves him off. Bringing out his own bag instead. Flipping open the top to find some water and some crackers of his own.
Looking around he examines the group carefully. Keeping track of who’s eating and who isn’t. He doesn’t even need to look to know exactly what he’s going to see though.
“Here, eat this.” He towers over Teruteru and Akane as they sit right on the ground amongst the dust and dirt. Teruteru is gritting his teeth, his arms crossed as he half hovers above the floor. More crouching than sitting. First he holds out the packet to Akane, shaking it in her face stubbornly.
“Fine.” She rolls her eyes casually but that doesn’t hide the clench of her jaw as she reaches forward and pulls out a single cracker. Part of him wants to stand here and demand she takes another - and that part is incredibly hard to fight against. Instead he turns the packet towards Teruteru, shaking it once again in what he imagines must be an incredibly annoying way.
“I’m okay.” Teruteru refuses to look him in the eye. Turning his head up like an petulant child.
“Too bad.” He answer nonchalantly. Reaching into the packet to pull out a cracker before shoving it into Teruteru’s hand. Even if he has to physically wrench his hand free and shove it into his fist. Luckily it isn’t completely snapped in the exchange. Hanging awkwardly from Teruteru’s uncomfortable grip.
“Good.” He flashes a smile to the two but they both simply scowl at him. But they still nibble at the dry flavorless cracker anyway. At the end of the day that’s all that matters.
No one bothers to hide the way they’re staring at the exchange but they’re all smart enough to keep their mouths tightly closed. Refusing to let anything slip out. Only starting mumbling between themselves again as Hajime returns to his little perch. Grabbing a cracker for himself to snack on first.
“Wow, you’re a real hard arse.” Kazuichi mumbles with a whistle. Thankfully leaning in close enough for the others to not listen in.
“Not hard enough…” He sighs, taking another bite of the cracker. Letting it dry out on his tongue. Leaving his mouth rougher than it had been before. Cooking had been almost annoying before but he is really missing the nice kitchens from the facility now. This isn’t the time to be nostalgic though.
~~~
05/06 - 04:55
Taking a rest hadn’t exactly made them walk faster but it did settle down some of the complaints at least. Considering that the moon is still hanging way up in the sky he figures they don’t exactly need to worry about getting to a place to rest any time soon though.
Now they are fully in the depths of the night he is beginning to feel the chill of the night biting into him. Gnawing into his bones as far as they can go. For once he’s really missing his suit. It might not be the warmest thing in the world but it’s better than what he has now and that’s all he cares about.
However, his despair doesn’t last too long. Although it’s hard to make out much in the darkness, there’s no mistaking what they’re seeing now. Even the people like Kazuichi (who still refuses to wear glasses) can’t miss the towering buildings ahead of them.
A building block sits right on the horizon. A little disjointed and leaning precariously, but a building nonetheless. It might as well be an oasis in the middle of the desert. They don’t exactly run but compared to the pace they had been moving at before, they might as well be.
As they get closer and closer, more and more buildings begin to pop out from the darkness. None of them lit up or illuminated other than the shimmering of the moon on the few reflective surfaces. But each and every one looks worse for wear. Broken into ruins. Even worse than the one they had been staying in last night. If they had come in search of safety then they probably would have been better off staying in the other place. It’s not like he’s going to be able to convince them all to walk back the way they came from. Especially not at this time of night.
Maybe it wont be as bad as he thinks it is though…
Spoiler alert: it is.
He had been somewhat exaggerating about the bomb going off before but he could easily have been right on the money. The place has been completely totaled. Glass shattered everywhere and rubble lining the streets. Piled high enough in the middle of the road that it looks more like a wall than anything else.
“Ughhhh, we’re not sleeping here - are we?” Hiyoko wrinkles up her nose, stumbling up to Hajime’s side.
“Unless you have a better idea I think so…”
By now they should have adjusted their expectations a little but it seems not. If this keeps up then things aren’t going to get better. It’s not up to Hajime to make the likes of Hiyoko realise that though.
He tilts his head up to examine the buildings as they begin passing by. Searching for anything that looks mildly habitable.
“Who knows, maybe there will be some good buildings around.” Kazuichi shrugs but he’s not convincing himself, let alone anyone else.
“Look it ain’t that bad. Could be worse.” Akane nods encouragingly as she surveys the area. She must be seeing an entirely different place to the rest of them though.
Nevertheless, in an attempt to stay positive, they keep pushing forwards. Holding out hope for anything even slightly stable or usable. But the deeper they get into the city, the worse it looks. Everything is charred and ripped to shreds. Dark crimson - almost black - blood is splattered on almost every surface. Cars overturned and shattered on every street.
At least it’s not completely devoid of all life though. He might not be able to see the slightest hint of humans - not even a blur behind a darkened window - but every building is crawling with birds. Their shiny beaks shimmering in the moonlight. From this distance they can’t see the birds eyes but the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. No matter how hard he tries to, he can’t shake the feeling that they’re watching him.
He instinctively turns around to seek out Gundham but the man’s lips are pressed tightly together. Forming a thin white line. Although he’s uncharacteristically quiet, there’s no missing the way his eyes dart about. Scanning the roof tops diligently. Almost too in-tune with everything that’s happening. He wants to ask him a question but he holds himself back. Leaving him to stew with his thoughts - whatever those might be.
Instead he keeps his head down, trying to ignore the feeling of eyes cutting into him. Pushing forward as far as he can while still making sure everyone else is still following behind. The sooner they can find somewhere safe to sleep, the better he will feel. The better they’ll all feel.
But as he steps forward something cracks underfoot. Snapping under his shoe sharply. The sound ringing out loudly around the empty street. Cautiously lifting his foot, he squints his eyes to try and make out what it is in the dim light. Long white fragments scattered all over the street. Small jagged chunks are all that’s left. It’s hard to make out exactly what they used to be but only a second later it’s all made clear.
Acting on instinct his arms flies out in front of Kazuichi and Nekomaru. Holding them back as best he can. Forcing them to ground to a halt as people begin to slam into their backs. It’s too late to stop them from noticing though.
“Oh my god.” Kazuichi chokes out, immediately drawing back. Squirming through the crowd to try and bury himself at the back of the group.
“What -?” Mahiru frowns, pushing herself to the front anxiously. Peering over Hajime’s arm to try and get a good look only to blanche instantaneously.
At least they know why the place is completely empty now.
Thousands upon thousands of bones are stacked on top of each other. The entire road that branches off this one is swimming in bones. Piled higher than Hajime is tall. He can’t even see the other side of the road across it. All he can see are perfectly clean bones. Some scraped clean, a perfect pure white. Others are burnt black - blending in with the night. Not a drop of flesh or rot anywhere to be seen. Just bones.
To the untrained eye the only hint that they’re even human bones are the fragments of burned or tattered clothes mixed into the pile. Shoes carefully laid out at the side of the pile. There can’t be nearly enough shoes to account for the sheer number of bodies much must be within the pile but it’s enough to send a message.
His blood turning into ice in his veins. Shivers chasing down his spine angrily but not at the sight of the shoes or the clothes or even the bones. No, it’s a result of whats perched on top of the pile.
A small, pristine Monokuma plush.
Not even one of the robotic creations that runs about cities causing chaos and grief. This is ‘cute’ handmade plushie sitting atop the bones. Head cocked to one side in in the imitation of a soft lovable mascot. Unlike everything else in this place which is filthy - whether from fire damage or just from dirt and ash - the plush doesn’t have a speck of dirt. The white side completely pristine and the black half as dark as a void. Neither side tarnished in the slightest.
It’s far from the worst thing he’s seen - and he doesn’t even want to think about what the others have seen. Yet there’s something stomach churning about it. Something so purposeful and careful which digs deep into their souls. Even without the gore or violence of other things he’s seen, it manages to be one of the most horrifying.
“What…what happened here?” Nekomaru blinks furiously as if thinking he’s going to wake up any second now, but of course he is unfortunately quickly let down.
“I don’t think we want to know…” He swallows hard but it does nothing to dispel the lump which is now heavy in his throat.
“Someone must have set them up like this….” Sonia mutters, stepping forward just enough to set a solid hand on Mahiru’s shoulder. Steadying the shaking photographer.
Her words are a bell ringing inside their skulls. Sharp as a knife. Hard and cutting deep.
Who would even set something like this up? He looks around at the crowd behind him they’re all turning their backs. Avoiding making eye contact with the bones - or maybe it’s the plushie they’re avoiding. It’s not like any of them have anything to hide though. Not from each other. This doesn’t feel like something they would have done but who else would be using the plushie like this? It’s not like the bones are fresh but it still leaves a heavy uneasiness on his shoulders.
“Can we leave this place now?” Mahiru twists around, ducking under Sonia’s arm and clinging to herself. Fingers gripping her upper arms as hard as she physically can.
“Yeah, we don’t need to stay here any longer. Lets just choose a building and rest as soon as possible.” Fuyuhiko mumbles.
Him and Peko haven’t fully turned around like everyone else but they’re still angled slightly away. Keeping the sight at the edge of their periphery while still maintaining most of their focus on Hajime and Nekomaru who are now at the head of the group.
“What and stay in this place?!” Teruteru snaps, almost making him jump. He had almost forgotten the man was capable or raising his voice. Snapping with a burning anger lighting him up. Letting him burn bright in a way Hajime had forgotten he could. Energy arching off of him angrily.
“Do you have any other suggestions?” Peko steels herself. Stepping out in front of Fuyuhiko. Or at least trying to. She has barely even completed the step before Fuyuhiko’s shoving her aside once more. Keeping a direct line between himself and Teruteru.
“Nowhere else is within our grasp at this moment. Besides, I do believe some members of our…party…have used up their magic reserves. It would be ill advised to keep dragging their lifeless husks behind us.” Gundham huffs but it only makes Teruteru glare harder. Features scrunching up in a look that could be distaste or might just be disdain.
“Look, let’s just stick around for a day or so. We’ll leave as soon as we can but for now this place is the closest we have to a safe pace to rest.” He tries to reason with Teruteru in vain but the man just opens and closes his mouth like a fish flopping around on dry land.
“But -” His shaking finger points at the small plushie sitting atop the pile. Grinning at them.
Carefully reaching forwards to grab Teruteru’s finger, he pushes the had down, “I know but we need food and water and shelter. People need to rest and sleep.” He nods at each of the members of their group one by one. Hoping something will wake up inside Teruteru. Instead his eyes simply begin to well up, refusing to follow Hajime’s gaze. Eyes solely locking onto the plushie.
“Please.” He fully stands in between Teruteru and the pile. Completely cutting off line of sight until he blinks desperately, “I promise you we’ll be safe. Those bones are incredibly old. This place is abandoned by now so it will be fine for a little while.”
Teruteru is still reluctant but he doesn’t let his gaze be drawn back in by the Monokuma doll again. Dipping his head low and turning his back on it at once. Keeping his muscles as taut as he can - not that it does anything to hide his shakes.
As they all turn to begun the search again, a few people shuffle over to try and comfort Teruteru but not one of them dares to lift a hand up to touch the other man. Hovering around him tentatively instead which only works to make him twitch uncertainly. Stalking his every movement, no matter how much it ruffles his feathers.
No longer looking for a palace to rest in, they drag themselves into the first non-creaking building they stumble across. Vaulting over what had once been a bakery counter to sneak up the stairs to the flat above. It must have been a colourful place once upon a time but now it is simply monochrome. Existing between the shades of black and white.
None of them complain even for a second though. Not even Teruteru or Hiyoko. While he can’t help but feel a little bad, he still breathes a sigh of relief at that fact.
This time they don’t even go hunting for mattresses, simply setting up camp on the couches and floor in the main room. Not daring to leave each others line of sight for long enough to find anything of use. They could probably find some beds in the apartment but no one is willing to be the one to volunteer.
As the day begins to break, light streaming in through the uncovered window, they all begin to fall asleep. Or at least they all pretend to.
Chapter 43: 6th of June
Summary:
Hajime and the others start trying to gather supplies in the desolate town
Chapter Text
06/06 - 06:24
Even as day comes and goes, none of them dare to leave their little fort. Huddling together through the night and entertaining themselves with the small trinkets they find around the room. Anything to stave away the boredom. They even try, in vain, to keep themselves occupied with a board game Kazuma had fished out from the back of a bookcase. None of them are even pretending to pay attention though.
In spite of everything, Hajime never joined them. Always sitting on the edge of the window to the side of everyone else. Eyes glued to the road below. Searching for any sign of life but unless you count the few deer’s that galloped down the empty streets, there was nothing. Not even the distant sounds of people moving about. It really is more than likely that it’s just the sixteen of them here in this entire town.
Although they don’t sleep well that night, they at least sleep a little which is progress at least. Better than spending the entire time walking down seemingly endless roads. Comforted by the hope that there really is no one else around. No crazy people waiting around the corner to jump them and add their bones onto the pile.
As their second day break begins, the start of the sunrise drifting into the building once again, Hajime’s eyes flutter open. Face warmed by the soft break of the morning. Given time he could most certainly get used to this… His back aches but it’s a good kind of ache. And his eye lids are no longer heavy and weighted. New day, new him.
It’s hard to imagine what a busy life would feel like at this point. Although he knows that people all around the world drag themselves out of bed to mill around at work all day, the concept is foreign. The closest he ever got was life in the Neo World Program but even then he could simply laze about in bed if he wanted to, it’s just that he normally doesn’t want to. Today he most certainly does though. With the warm sun fanning across his face he’s certain he could stay here all day.
Of course Akane and Nekomaru have other plans though as a firm hacky sack goes flying into his face once again. Disrupting the fragile peace that had been swimming over him.
“Ooops, Sorry ‘bout that.” Akane scratches at the back of her neck with a mischievous grin but he only scowls back. Immediately getting up and storming off to join Kazuichi, Kazuma, and Mitarai on the kitchen side of the open plan room.
They had already combed through the cupboard for any sign of anything the day before but all that was left was an almost empty bag of noodles and some moldy bread which Gundham had instantly thrown out the window and into the street below. He can only hope none of the wildlife will tear into it.
However the trio had placed themselves in the kitchen anyway as they began to go through the rations left in everyone’s bags. Gone were the days of boxes upon boxes of supplies. Now they were down to the few beaten up looking cans and crumbling crackers they had left. Far from a feast - especially when spread between all sixteen of them.
While Mitarai is sat at one of the dining chairs like a sane, civilized person, and Kazuma is leaning against some of the kitchen counters, Kazuichi has instead chosen to perch straight on the table. Sat amongst all the rations like it’s the most normal thing in the world. His legs swing rhythmically under him as he sits there without a care in the world. He can’t fully blame him though - it’s not like they have much space to work with when they have sixteen of them all crowded in here.
The day had hardly begun and already Gundham and Mahiru have taken up positions at the window sills. Both of them sitting on the edges as they dangle their legs out into the open air. Meanwhile Hiyoko is pressed into the darkened corner beside the window sill. Curled up with her head resting on her knees.
A few people - Ibuki, Mikan, and Teruteru - are still miraculously sleeping. Laying back on the tough wooden floor without a care in the world despite the soft chattering around them. And everyone else is trying to squeeze onto the couches. Doing their best to avoid the hacky sack as Akane and Nekomaru relentlessly continue tossing it all over the place.
“How is it looking?" He sighs and grabs the free chair opposite Mitarai at the table. His view of everyone else almost completely blocked by Kazuichi.
“Not great. We can still go for a few days but there isn’t much variety.” Kazuma grumbles as if they had had variety in the first place.
“Is this everything?” He frowns. It looks like so little when it’s all laid out on the table like this. Not wanting to carry all the big boxes they had done their best to stuff the bags as full as possible but it’s barely been two days any it’s already gotten this low.
“Yeppp.” Kazuichi pop’s his ‘p’ aggressively. All the while his arms continue to flap about dejectedly.
“At least it will last a few more days…” Mitarai tries to smile - at least he assumes that’s what the man is attempting - but it might be better defined as a grimace.
Nevertheless he turns one of the cans over in his hand. Pondering all their options. It doesn’t take much pondering though. In reality there has only ever been one option.
“We should go looking for food today.” He mutters as he clears his throat. Looking across at the meager rations they have left.
Look, he loves beans and plain crackers as much as the next person but he might drop dead of boredom if they have to eat them for much longer. Besides, who knows when they’ll next get a chance to find some food. Maybe the next place they find will be even worse or maybe they’ll get trapped without access to a town or city for a long time.
“Do you think we’re going to find food in a place like this?” Fuyuhiko calls out from the couch, nodding towards the window at the wasteland beyond.
The chances of them actually finding food are slim but they aren’t at zero. Right now he’s going to take what little he can get. Besides, although there is no hope of fresh food, canned food should still be around…right? Or maybe he’s just being to optimistic at this point.
“We won’t know unless we try. Not everyone has to come but if anyone wants to join me then they’re welcome to.” He throws down the gauntlet to them all. If he has to go alone then he’s more than happy to - a little peace and quiet might actually be nice. But there’s no doubt a few of them will be itching to get outdoors.
And he’s most certainly right. In fact more people than he had thought begin to trail alongside him. They all traipse behind Gundham as he leads the way, Ibuki and Mikan at his side - both still blinking tiredly. Kazuichi stick close to his side and Sonia drifts along just behind them as she chatters away to Nagito. Talking the mans ear off as best she can over the boisterous grumbling of Akane and Nekomaru behind them. However no matter how much she goes on and on, he doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest.
Even though they had had all the windows open and had been walking around just a day ago - it feels like an entirely new world stepping out now. The hot summer sun beaming down on them as a cooling breeze brushes through the narrow roads. What before had looked like a terrifying wasteland is softer and more vibrant in the morning sun. Sure, destruction is still all around them - littering the scene with rubble and rust - but the vibrant edges of grass are peeking out from the crumbling rocks.
Previously Gundham had been leading them all the way out of the building, however he now falls behind. Too busy staring up at the sky to continue which is probably for the best all things considered. But without his guidance Ibuki and Mikan are left floundering. Scrambling for someone to follow as their heads spin wildly around in every direction. Lost amongst all the possible roads.
Taking up the mantle as usual, he taps them both on the shoulder. Holding himself back from actually dragging them along the road. Somewhere behind him he’s aware of Gundham wandering off but the rest of them keep marching forwards. If he wants to join them he’ll catch up. It’s not like he’s going to get hurt. Probably.
“Come on, lets just go through each building in turn.” He beckons them all forwards as he begins approaching the nearest building.
It’s too dilapidated to tell what it actually is but they all stumble towards it anyway. Pressing a hand against the chipped wooden door until it swings open. The door frame creaks uncomfortably at the motion but as he peaks his head inside he can’t see any sign of the building properly cracking. It seems relatively okay. But still Ibuki gently shoves Nagito forwards towards the door before anyone else steps in.
“Nagito should go first.” Ibuki chuckles uncomfortably, “Your luck will protect you right?”
Thankfully Sonia is there to gently smack her upside the head, “You fool, this is not how we treat our friends?” She tuts chidingly and waggles her finger in front of Ibuki’s face. Gripping onto Nagito’s wrist to pull him away from the door like he is nothing more than a rag doll.
“Oh, whoops.” Ibuki flushes as she chuckles softly.
“Besides, his luck always hurts us in the end too. It’s not worth it.” Kazuichi grumbles and rolls his eyes as he looks at everyone except Nagito.
It’s only out of the corner of his eye but he could swear he can see Nagito flinch back for a split second. But by the time he has fully twisted his head around, the other boy is just chuckling dryly. Half heartedly scratching at the back of his neck while Sonia maintains a grip on his arm even now.
“Sh-should we n-not let N-Nagito in?” Mikan pulls at her skirt, biting her bottom lip.
Nagito opens his mouth to answer but Hajime jumps in first. Taking that first step over the threshold into the building, “Look, it’s fine.” He sighs, delving deeper into the room, “Nagito will be fine as so will we. Fear mongering isn’t going to help the situation. We need all the hands we can get to search every cupboard.”
For a second they all pause, looking between each other. But a second later Kazuichi grumbles and follows him through. As if that was the push they all needed, a train of people immediately begin following closely after him. Finally stepping over the threshold properly.
The only person that hangs back is Mikan as she anxiously hovers at the edge of the building. Looking up and examining the structure as if expecting to see it cracking and bowing. But eventually even she musters up the courage to take that first step. Clinging to her own arms and trembling like a leaf the entire time.
Splitting up, they cover as much of the room as possible. Yanking open every cupboard, draw and compartment. Based on the structure it looks more like a house than anything else - although it’s hard to tell because almost everything has been burnt. Charred remains still scattered everywhere.
Unlike the place they had been staying in, almost every inch of this place has already been emptied out but he refuses to lose hope. Still pushing on and scanning everywhere he can think of.
Although Mikan is still hovering by the door, almost everyone else has already disappeared off into different rooms. Scattered into the wind. Without being able to get a clear look at the furniture that is in the room it’s hard to even tell if this is the right place to be looking for food.
That’s when he hears Nagito’s voice calling out from the other room. Cutting over the high pitched whine of Mikan. His voice sharp and heavy in the warm air, “I think I’ve found some food.”
At once everyone rushes over. Dropping anything they had been doing up to that point. He can hear Ibuki skidding along the floor as she slides around the building but no matter how fast she rushes, she is still seconds behind Hajime to make it into the room.
“What did you find?” He saunters over to Nagito where he’s crouched down on the floor. His body covering what seems to be a counter draw.
With that same hollow smile, he reaches forward and grabs something from within the cupboard. Pulling a can out and waving it at Hajime almost playfully.
When he peers over the boys shoulder he’s taken aback by the sheer number of cans that had managed to be stuffed into the cupboard. A true treasure trove. Trust Nagito to find this sort of nonsense.
“Oooooh! Anything good?!” Ibuki slides over to them on her knees. He can’t hold back his own wince at the sight of it. His knees burning in empathy.
“Not really,” He shrugs nonchalantly as ever, “unless you like white peaches.”
Gasping with a horrified look, she immediately wrenches it out of his hand. Hugging it close to her chest like it’s pure gold. Tears welling up in the corners of her eyes, “What sort of question is that?! Ibuki wouldn’t be a super musician if she couldn’t chow down on her peaches!” He has no idea what that’s meant to mean but he simply smiles her way. Variety will certainly be nice if nothing else.
“White peaches…I remember these.” Sonia tentatively walks over. Trying in vain to pry the can from Ibuki’s arms until Nagito takes pity on her and hands her another. But as she turns it around in her hand she frowns, “These look strange compared to what I am used to though. How does the peach fit inside one of these cans.” She shakes it and only crumples her nose up more at the sloshing noise coming from within.
“They are canned to help preserve them. Just like everything else.” Nekomaru doesn’t even bother coming into the room. Leaning on the doorframe as Akane pushes past him.
“Kids love ‘em. They’re sugary and covered in syrup ‘n’ all. Probably not what they serve y’all at the palace.” Akane cackles as she hits Sonia’s arm playfully. Almost making Sonia drop the can onto Ibuki.
She probably isn’t wrong though. He can’t imagine Sonia ever having to eat food from a can in her gilded palace. Not that he can say anything because he’s never actually tried the things himself. Far too sugary to be anywhere near nutritious.
“You can try one later. For now we should probably just grab as many of these as we can carry.” Kazuichi mumbles from behind Hajime, almost making him jump. It’s not just Kazuichi though. Mikan is also there. Still clinging onto the door frame as if hoping to simply hold up the building on top of them all.
They don’t need anymore encouragement to begin dragging out the cans. Stacking them into a little pyramid in the middle of the floor. They probably should have dragged some bags with them but it’s too late now. Besides, there is only so many cans they can take with them before they’ve completely filled their backpacks. It’s probably better to limit themselves before they get their hopes up too much. It’s not like these should take priority over actually nutritious food but it’s good to get their spirits up if nothing else.
However his work is interrupted as Sonia’s hand grabs at his arm. Yanking him from side to side until the can he was holding slips from his hand. With his blood boiling, he turns around to scowl at her. Gritting his teeth as hard as he can.
“What is -?” He begins to snap but catches himself almost immediately as he catches sight of what she had been looking at outside the window.
Like a scene out of a movie - or a Disney princess film - Gundham is stood in the middle of the road. Bathed in the light of the sun. His arm outstretched as far as it can go. It takes a second for him to be able to see what he’s reaching for but when he does, his breath catches for a moment.
One of the deer has stalked out of wherever it was hiding. Delicately creeping closer and closer to Gundham. Keeping its head bent low as it begins to sniff him out tentatively.
Sonia knots her fingers into Hajime’s sleeve, her other hand camping over her mouth to stop herself from squealing,
“Omgggg! It’s so beautiful. If this was a song it would be called: ‘the beauty of nature in the ruins of humans’!” Ibuki squeals. Biting her fingers as hard as she can - it’s a miracle she doesn’t actually start drawing blood.
“I d-didn’t realise you could get s-so close to them.” Mikan whispers in her softest voice. Any hint of the trembling from earlier completely gone now. All her focus completely fixed on the scene before them now.
All of them - even Nekomaru - are still as statues as the deer begins to lightly nuzzle Gundham’s hand. It’s wet snout brushing against him soothingly. Tail wagging joyously.
He keeps waiting for something to go wrong. For the other shoe to drop. But nothing happens. They all stand there holding their breaths but Gundham just cackles as the deer simply nuzzles into him more and more. Barely even phased by his noises. Egged on by them if anything as a small group of deers trot up behind the other deer. Examining the new intruder to their lands with bountiful curiosity.
Summoning up all his confidence and courage, he takes a step forward. Everyone immediately rushes forward to grab him but he dodges out the way of their hands with ease. Pushing further and forward until he’s brushed right past Mikan into the room they entered from. Everyone is hissing behind him but he completely ignores them all.
“Come on, don’t you want to see them up close too?” He whispers. Crooking his finger to encourage them forwards. Dragging them along like puppets on strings. Every logical part of their brains are telling them to keep their distance but their emotions are winning over as they begin to follow him through. Eyes sparkling wildly.
“B-But th-th-they’re going to be s-s-scared.” Mikan chews on her nails. Pupils wide as she tries unsuccessfully to settle her breaths.
“You have me and Gundham around. We can show you how to do it properly.” He ignores all their complaints and walks straight out of the building. Not even bothering to creep along anymore.
As soon as they step out Gundham’s head spins there way. An ear to ear grin lighting up his features. He looks years younger here. His hair delicately laying across his head. Fluffed up in a magical way. The sun rays almost making it look like a halo around him. A black halo but a halo nonetheless.
“Ah, you cretins have weaseled your way out of your dens.” He cackles, gently rubbing a hand up the deer’s face now as another one approaches to sniff his arm. Brushing against the other deer smoothly.
“Do you think you could introduce us to the deer?” He asks, moving carefully towards Gundham. He doesn’t tip toe or creep but he does maintain a gentle and inviting demeanor. Hunching over ever so slightly instead of puffing out his chest.
Gundham doesn’t even need to think for a second before chuffing, “If you think you are up to the challenge these beast set before you. They can smell malevolent hearts but as long as you are a true kindred soul they will bow before you. Submitting to your magical aura.”
“Sounds good to me.” He grins, mimicking the way Gundham had been holding his hand out before. Not encroaching on their personal space but giving them space and time to wander over to him.
In the distance he can see the others still huddling in the shade of the building. Outside but not daring to move a centimeter away from the building. Keeping it securely behind them like a safety blanket.
Yet sure enough, after a minute or two of standing there patiently, one of the deers on the outskirts begin to wander towards him. Tilting their head to one side and sniffing him curiously. Only taking tiny steps towards him until the space between them is negligible.
This is the closest he’s ever been to an animal like this. From here he can see every flare of it’s nostrils. It’s beautiful narrowed face more elegant than he had imagined from a distance. There’s something about the eyes though. They might be pitch black but when you see them from this close they just look…almost otherworldly.
Finally it closes the gap between them. It’s soft warm muzzle pressing into him almost playfully. He can feel the heat radiating off of it. He can feel the vibrations of every breath right in his bones. Shaking them thoroughly.
It’s not like he didn’t realise they were alive before - he would have to be stupid not to - but there’s something different about feeling it. Feeling the life force rippling off of them. Smelling the slightly musky smell of forest and dew and something distinctly wild. They might be animals but for the first time they feel almost…human.
Like that’s everyone’s invitation, they all begin to creep over. Sticking together like one conglomerate. Inching closer and closer while circling around the deer to approach Hajime and Gundham from behind.
But as they get closer and closer, he starts to notice a single figure still sticking by the building. Nagito. His hands still shoved deep in his pockets as he leans against the wall. He wants to call out and drag the man over, something in his gut stops him before he does it. It’s not like Nagito needs to come over and join them. He probably shouldn’t be forcing the man into situations he doesn’t want.
Instead he puts all his focus onto the others as they stumble over. It takes both him and Gundham working together to help them calm down enough to not completely scare the deer off. Trying to make Mikan’s squealing and Nekomaru and Ibuki’s loud yelling as non-threatening to the elegant creatures as possible.
Mikan looks ready to burst into tears the second the deer brushes it’s nose against her but she stays strong. Containing as much of her shaking as it nuzzles closer. All the while Kazuichi and Sonia take advantage of the moment to gently brush the deers neck.
From a distance he can see Akane peacefully scratching one of the slightly younger looking deer behind the ear like it’s nothing. He could almost be tricked into thinking it’s second nature to her. This is probably the most quiet and peaceful he’s seen her look in a long time.
Nekomaru does his best but even with Gundham’s gentle teaching there’s only so much he can do. He does manage to at least brush his hand along the side of the deer before it bounds away to hide by Gundham instead. For now they’ll count that as a win.
Even though they came out looking for food, he finds himself unwilling to tear himself away from the animals. Gently running his fingers through the smooth coat that runs along the creature. Enjoying the gentle bristles as they scratch at his hand soothingly.
If only they could stay in this moment for a little longer. Just a little…
~~~
06/06 - 21:04
Peko hadn’t said a word from the moment they started walking again. Not that this was the strangest occurrence they had seen so far. The longing look in her eyes is a little more unusual though. None of them dare mention it to her though. All of them holding their tongues as Ibuki recounts the story of that morning once again as they walk down the lonely road. Not missing a chance to act out the moment now she has a captive audience. Even when Ibuki is the one telling the story there’s only so many times you can hear the same story before you start to hate everything about it.
Feeling a little braver they had set out earlier this time. Walking down the slightly more winding road under the light of the sun this time. Enjoying the sounds of the babbling river next to them as they meander along. Only now after two or three hours of walking is the sun beginning to actually start dipping low. Pinks and a purples alight in the sky.
He’s not sure if it's the fact that they’re actually getting sunlight for once or if its because of the bubbly mood of everyone after their encounter earlier, but for some reason everyone is fizzing today. Basically everyone is jumping into the conversation and although they’re walking slower this time, they’re more of a gaggle than a line this time. Even Hiyoko isn’t complaining. Her and Mahiru are hanging back but every now and then he catches glimpse of what she’s saying and it all sounds surprisingly…positive.
“You never actually saw where I lived.” She mumbles as she flicks her hair over one shoulder, “We should go and look at it at some point. You like pretty places you can photograph so you would love it there.”
But Mahiru only hums in response. Head ducked down, barely even acknowledging Hiyoko’s presence. She barely even blinks in acknowledgement of that though. She can’t be totally oblivious but her mask is like iron. Not a crack showing.
Being a subtle as possible, he sneaks a few looks behind him every now and then. Trying to catch a glimpse of Mahiru when she isn’t completely hiding her expression. It’s a harder job than it sounds as she seems completely locked into the ground underfoot. Her short red hair draping in front of her face awkwardly which only casts more shadows on the parts of her face which aren’t hidden entirely.
However, even if he can see her face properly she can’t hide her body language. Every now and then as she takes a step she flinches slightly. Her shoulders twitching painfully. And the interval between these only gets shorter and shorter the longer they keep walking.
But before he can confront her, Gundham shouts loudly. Snapping everyone to attention. He points over towards something ahead of them as they round a corner and the hills ahead of them fall away. Between the hills the unmistakable silhouette of a city begins to form. Small lights popping up on the otherwise dark structures as the evening gets darker and darker.
“Civilization…” Fuyuhiko hums, slowing down his pace ever so slightly. Dropping back further and further into the group as everyone else begins speeding up towards the city. Ibuki leading the charge - running backwards to grin at the them all and beckon them forwards.
But while most of the others are cheering and muttering between themselves excitedly, Kazuma hangs back. Rubbing their chin uncertainly, “That looks like a big city.”
They doesn’t need to say anything else. Hajime already knows exactly what they’re trying to say. He can feel his own feet beginning to drag but he still moves forward. Everyone else barely even seem to hesitate as they charge ahead. For the life of him he can’t tell if they’ve not picked up on it or if they’re just shoving that uncertainty down deep.
“It’ll be fine.” He says it with absolute confidence but he only wishes he actually believed it.
Unlike the last places they’ve stopped in, this one you can hear before you can even make out the actual buildings from the shadows. The sound of cars beeping and people shouting out like sirens cutting through his ears. Why does his feel more painful than the gunshots did when they were at the future foundation?
Even the people like Sonia, Ibuki and Teruteru who had sped up earlier, begin to drag their heels now. Constantly all looking between each other as if waiting for someone to step in and take charge. None of them wanting to be the ones to suggest turning around and leave. As a result they simply end up creeping closer and closer to the city. Holding their breaths for longer and longer.
Their entire group pushing into each other until they almost have no space to move. Waiting for someone else to take the lead. As usual he has ended up at the front of the group but that doesn’t even bother him at this point. At a time like this it actually sort of makes sense.
But even being at the front doesn’t save him from the crowding. He might still have access to plenty of air but he can’t go more than two steps without having Kazuichi treading on his heels. Almost pulling his shoe off more than once. He considers simply walking forwards but there’s no doubt they’ll all just speed up with him.
As they approach the outskirts of the city they start to be able to make out figures. People gathering at the edge of the city with a cloud of smoke surrounding them. The smell harsh and pungent even at this distance. Part of him wants to reach up and cover his face but he doesn’t dare move more than he needs to.
“I…I d-don’t like th-this place…” Mikan mutters dropping back a little.
“It’ll be fine. They aren’t even looking our way. We just need to find somewhere for the night.” Nekomaru brushes aside her concerns as best he can. None of them can really lie to themselves at a time like this, but that doesn’t mean they won’t give it their best shot though.
“I’ve been in cities loads. People don’t give as shit ‘bout you. They’re too busy with their own stuff to pay attention.” Akane’s words don’t exactly fill them with confidence but they all push forwards anyway. Drifting through the narrow dark alleyways as much as they can.
Just a few roads over they can hear the bustling of the main streets but they all simply hold their breaths as the shuffle through. Akane is probably right but a gaggle of sixteen people is probably a bit more noticeable than a single person walking about. It would be smarter to split up but there is no way they can risk that. How would they all meet up again and what if one of them got cornered? The mere thought has him shaking his head. There are some risks not worth taking.
However, unlike the last two places, it’s a lot harder to find somewhere to go. Almost every building is alight. Windows blaring through the darkness. Lighthouses shining their beams upon the small group. But even in this place there must be somewhere, right? It’s not like they can occupy every single building in this place.
The longer they wander, the harder it is not to flinch at every sound. Even though it had been run down with bones everywhere, he’s starting to wish they had never left the last place. People might not be in the alley right now but it still feels like a collar has been locked around his neck. Glaring eyes digging into him from every side. Each of his nerves set alight. Ready to jump at the smallest noise.
Yet in spite of that, he’s still caught off guard as a cold harsh voice shouts out a few meters behind him, “Oi, you!” The voice stabbing right through Hajime’s body.
His heart thundering like its just been struck by lightening, he desperately looks up. Trying frantically to peer past the gaggle of people behind him in search of the noise. As he does so he gives them each a quick once over, keeping a mental headcount of everyone around them. It’s only when he does that that he realises they don’t have everyone with them.
Mikan isn’t with the group.
Panic setting in and his breath beginning to catch, he shoves past everyone. Knocking them aside with his arms to make a pathway between them. After the first one or two they begin to catch on. Parting like the red sea before he can even approach them.
He can hear each of their heart beats. Their blood pulsating in their veins. Throbbing. Bursting. Screaming. He ignores them all though. Storming forward with nothing but alarm bells blaring in his ears.
“Where’s -?” Ibuki begins to asks, looking around ditzily but he shoves her aside too.
He doesn’t have time for this.
Mikan.
Mikan!
Mikan!
The word chants in his head furiously. Screaming angrily as he desperately begins to run forward. Swinging around the corner with a little too much momentum.
Sure enough, as soon as he round the corner, he sees her. Pressed against a wall with nowhere else to retreat to. Two tall men are stood in front of her. Forming an iron wall in front of her as she slowly sinks down towards the ground. Not even screaming or calling out. Just letting heavy tears sit on her cheeks. They just keep closing in. Not even flinching at the sight of her silent sobs as her chest begins to heave.
And then one of them reaches forward and grips her wrist tightly. Squeezing it with everything he has.
Hajime sees red at once.
He doesn’t even remember moving. It all happens in a split second. When he wakes up he’s stood over the man who had been grabbing her wrist - blood on his knuckles trickling down. Sticky and hot over his skin. He can see it oozing over his skin. Long sticky droplets of it slowly curving over each of the ridges on his knuckles. He can smell the thick metallic scent heavy in the air. Sharp and cold compared to the fuzzy pulsating of his mind.
“What the fuck are you doing?!” He hisses venomously. Staring down the man. Only now does he process the crooked shape of the mans nose and the thick blood pouring out of his nose. It’s like someone had turned the faucet and blood was now spilling on the ground. Splashing and splattering frantically.
He can’t see Mikan anymore but he couldn’t care less. The only things he’s paying attention to are the bleeding man on the floor and his cowering friend who’s intelligently put a good few feet between them.
“Dude! What’s wrong with you!?” The man clutches at his nose. Doing his best to clamp down on his nose. It’s a doomed attempt from the beginning though. His hands and nose are already so thick with the stuff that his hand just keeps slipping off his nose. Never able to get a perfect hold of it. At least not enough to fully quell the bleeding.
“You didn’t answer my question.” Red begins to soak his vision once more.
Something must shift in his expression because the guys ‘buddy’ shuffles slightly closer. Reaching a hand forward to try and grab his friends collar. As if hoping to drag him to safety.
“Look, if you knew who that bitch was you would have punched her instead.” The man begins to hiss, trying to sound like he has any backbone at all. Unfortunately his trembling finger gives him away as he points behind Hajime.
For a split second it’s like the spell has been broken. Although he can still feel his own blood pulsating in his head, he regains his senses for a moment. Just long enough to turn his head ever so slightly so he can catch sight of what is just behind his shoulder.
Either he dragged Mikan away when he punched the man or she simply ran for cover but she’s now clinging onto him. Her fingers vibrating hummingbirds as the try desperately to keep ahold of his shirt. Relying on his stability to keep her on two feet as her teeth begin to chatter.
If you knew who she was…
These people recognize them. Or at least Mikan. Barely even a few minutes in this place and they’ve already been identified. In fairness they’re probably lucky they even got this far.
“What do you mean? She’s a young woman and if you lay another finger on her you’ll regret it.” He refuses to let his understanding become visible on his face. If they’re scared enough maybe they’ll just back off. Or is that too hopeful of a thought?
Much to his relief the men do in fact begin backing away. The bleeding man scampering back. Kicking dust and dirt into Hajime’s direction but he doesn’t flinch for a second. As soon as he’s close enough to his buddy the other man pulls him up and supports him. Slinging his friends arm over his shoulder.
But as soon as he is firmly supporting his friend he raises his accusatory finger again, “She’s a fucked up nurse is what she is. A serial killer who butchered and sexually assaulted people. She’s out of her mind and she’s gonna gut you too. You’ll see!” Flecks of spit come flying off as he speaks but Hajime stays perfectly still throughout it. Just praying that the men will know what’s best for them and leave. This is the perfect time for his luck to kick in…
But apparently the others down the alleyway hadn’t been playing close enough attention to what was being said, or maybe they just don’t have enough critical thinking skills. Either way it ends up the same way as they all begin spilling out of the alleyway. Their faces fully visible even in the low light of the night.
“Wait…” The bleeding man’s mouth drops open and his hands drop away from his nose to point at everyone appearing behind them while tugging at his friend’s arm with his other hand. Wobbling as he tries to stand on his own. Of course he knows what the man is going to say before he says it but that doesn’t stop him from praying it’s all a misunderstanding of some kind. “It’s all of those Despair fuckers! Looks like we’ve stumbled on a treasure trove here.”
Definitely not a misunderstanding…
Still Hajime braces himself. Shoving Mikan off of him and pushing her towards everyone else. Hoping someone will jump in and catch her before she thumps onto the floor. Right now all he can focus on is these men and silencing them as fast as possible. It’s just two people. They aren’t even armed. If they had been scared when it was just him then they should be pissing themselves with all fifteen of them here. He’s handled far worse than this.
And yet, instead of running away terrified, a manic gleam begins to sparkle in his eyes. Viscous and twisted and far too excited. If you hadn’t seen anything that led up to this moment you might even think it was Christmas day.
“HEY GUYS! YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHO SHOWED THEIR FUCKING FACES HERE!”
Adrenaline spiking, he runs forward as fast as he can. Kicking the bleeding man in the nuts and grabbing the other man by the back of his head and slamming his face into the wall. A satisfying crack rings through the alleyway but it’s quickly drowned out but the sound of footsteps running towards them. He doesn’t bother setting the man down, letting him slump unconscious to the floor. Blood pooling as his face lands in a pile of rocks.
“Run!” He hisses as he turns around to his friends, sprinting down the alley. It’s not like there was any point in keeping his voice down though. Not when the man with a broken nose groans loudly, clutching at his crown jewels, still soaked through with his own bright pink blood.
Within seconds, people begin spilling into the alley, searching around as they try to piece together what’s going on. Understanding slowly registering across their faces as they catch brief glimpses of peoples faces alongside their bleeding friends who are both slumped on the floor.
Much to his relief almost everyone is already sprinting away at least. All hints of exhaustion after their trekking completely gone. They’re flying along the streets at record speeds. Only Mikan is left hunched over on the floor. Unable to even stand properly on her feet.
Unable to waste a single second, his hand curls around Mikan’s already bruised wrist. Clamping down on it a little too hard in his haste. She immediately hisses and winces at the contact but he keeps dragging her along. Better her be in pain than be dead.
For a second he thinks that might just be him being hyperbolic but then the sharp crash of glass screeches from behind them. Mikan gasps, her steps stuttering for a moment and Hajime turns around only to see blood trickling down her leg. Shards of glass sticking out of her legs as another bottle goes flying past his head. Small droplets of blood trail behind them as they keep running forwards. Mikan’s chest rising and falling erratically now as she begins gasping for breaths. Her skin starting to turn blue.
This is fucking bad.
Screams keep following them but Hajime refuses to slow down for even a second. Not when glasses and rocks and shards of wood go flying past them. Despite his best attempts Mikan continues getting hit. Small pink splotches appearing within her slightly tangled black hair.
Although the others are a little faster, they’re not fast enough. Hiyoko, Teruteru, Mitarai, and Akane who are by far the slowest of the group are assaulted by a barrage of rocks. One of them hitting Mitarai in the back of the head and almost bringing him to his knees. Everyone is fair game.
While the mob is slowly slowing down - struggling to find new things to throw - they're still gradually gaining ground. Eventually they’re going to get a little too lucky for his liking.
Who will be the first one to go down? Mikan who is still sobbing in his arms? Her beaten and bloody body completely defenseless. Akane who was once the fastest person he knew who can barely even keep up with Hiyoko anymore. Or will it be Mitarai who doesn’t even deserve to be stuck in the middle of their mess - regardless of what he says.
They need to find somewhere safe to go and fast before the worst really does happen. But where?! Sure, he might know what city they’re in but that doesn’t mean he knows anywhere safe. Even less so now that conditions in the city have completely changed. This entire place might well be a death trap. Enemies lurking around every corner.
There’s only one option.
He puts all his energy into a last surge, reaching forward and grabbing Mitarai as carefully as he can. The man gasps, desperately scratching at Hajime’s hand over his shoulder like a wild animal.
“It’s me.” He whispers into Mitarai’s ear and thrusts Mikan towards him, “Run with her and find somewhere to hide all together.” He shoves them both forward. Not giving Mitarai a chance to ask questions or question him.
Turning his back on Mitarai and the others, he stands right in the middle of the alleyway as the mob draws closer and closer. The woman at the front throws a glass bottle at the wall beside him. One of the long shards bouncing off the wall and digging into his cheek. Only a few centimeters away from fully slicing into his eyeball. It’s a miracle but he doesn’t even flinch. Remaining a rock solid wall between his friends and everyone else.
“I’m warning you to stop now.” He calls out coldly. Raising his voice enough that they can hear him
“Where have your psycho friends gone?” A random man in the crowd calls out, sneering at him.
Logically he knows he probably shouldn’t even be mad at them. It’s not like they’re wrong - they did do all those things they think they did. They can’t argue with any of it. And yet the flame inside him burn hot and bright at the thought of letting them put another injury on his friends.
After everything he has a duty of care. They are his responsibility. He’s not going to let a single one of them get hurt. Not after the way he stood by and watched them get dragged into this situation.
No matter what it takes.
But, unsurprisingly, him standing there isn’t enough to stop the stampede. Although a few of them slow down - most of them keep charging forwards. Rage fueling them just as much as the adrenaline is fueling Hajime.
“He’s just buyin’ them time! Let’s get ‘em!” The man at the front of the group charges ahead, moving to simply dart around Hajime but that’s probably the worst thing he could have done.
Before the man even knows what’s happened, he grabs the mans head and twists it as hard as he can. Involuntarily flinching at the sound of his neck snapping. His body falling limply to the floor.
Something deep in his gut begins to writhe. Curling around his throat and pulling hard until the air is forced out of his lungs.
It works though.
Everyone grinds to a stop at that. All of them forming a line, maintaining a good two meters between the mob and him. All of their bodies braced. Rocks still firmly in their hands. They’re all holding their breaths, watching him.
“You killed him you fucker!” One of the women at the front of the crowd screams. Face slowly turning red as she screeches but she doesn’t take a single step. Doesn’t even lean forwards. No one wants to be the first one to step into the firing line.
“This doesn’t have to end in any more deaths. We were only passing through this place on our way to Tokyo. If you had just left us be then you would have all been fine.” The lie falls easily from his lips. He barely even needs to think about it.
“Like we’re going to believe what you say.” One of the faceless people in the crowd shouts out - earning himself cheers and applause. And yet still no one moves.
“I couldn’t care less what you think. You are just insect to be crushed under my shoes. Believe me or not - I don’t care. But I will kill the next person who steps forward. And I don’t make hollow threats.” He sneers. Letting his voice fill with pure bloodlust.
“You can’t take us all at once.”
“Try me.” He smirks. Showing off his teeth as if he’s snarling. A feral animal on a long leash.
At a certain point this might as well just be survival of the fittest. He doesn’t need to worry about anyone grabbing onto the others now - at least hopefully - so there’s nothing holding him back now.
Five of them all charge forwards at once. Two of them halfheartedly try to throw rocks his way as if that’s going to do anything but he simply ducks out of the way. Kicking them both in the gut and shoving them back into the crowd. The other two try to hold back his arms as the last one grabs a shard of glass. Jerking it forwards into Hajime’s side. The glass meets flesh, digging in and causing searing pain to spread up his side.
But that’s the last win they get.
He might not have his hands free but they’re woefully unprepared as he brings his head back and slams into into the first man. Kicking his legs out under him until he releases Hajime’s arm. As soon as his arm is free it’s all over. Pink washing over him as he yanks the huge glass shard out of his side, spinning it around and slashing it straight through the necks of the other two men around him. Their blood mingling with his own and with the blood from earlier. A sea of blood seeping around him. Licking at his feet.
And as the bodies hit the ground, so does the glass shard. Clinking against the hard concrete as their bodies continue convulsing.
You can hear a pin drop as everyone listens to the two men’s dying breaths.
Two more deaths than needed to happen. Another set of names to add the list in his ledger…not that he knows the names of any of these people. That’s nothing new though, just lives snuffed out under his stiff boot.
“Is that enough?” He sighs, letting his shoulders slump slightly.
It takes everything he has not to reach over and press a hand to his stomach. He can feel his body getting colder and colder as his own blood pulses out of him. Seeping out in waves with the frantic beating of his own heart.
But no matter how much he wants to collapse onto the floor, he refuses to look weak. Not in front of people like these. He keeps his head high and stands steadily on the spot. The perfect image of power, still dripping with blood from head to toe.
No one says a thing. They don’t even move to stop him as he turns around and begins to slowly walk away. They’re a pretty bad mob all things considered. They have full access to his unprotected back but they all hover back. Cowering pathetically as the blood has spread far enough to begin soaking the soles of their shoes.
He’s not going to waste the time he’s been given though. Before the others manage to summon up some more courage, he grabs onto the nearest wall and begins hauling himself up. With every movement he can feel more and more blood oozing out of him but that doesn’t stop his ascent. He can deal with sealing up the wound in a minute. For now he needs to get himself safely away or there’s no point in patching it up at all.
Being as efficient as possible he scales the building. Feeling his energy draining with each step. Still he manages to to pull himself up onto the roof. Laying flat against it and pressing a hand to his stomach as hard as he can.
He just hopes it was long enough of a distraction to buy time for the others to get far enough away. It’s impossible to tell for sure. He simply has to have faith in their abilities. To trust Mitarai and the others to get them somewhere hidden and safe.
Below he can hear the mob chatter for a moment before they begin to disperse. The sound of bodies dragging on the ground making him wince but he simply presses his lips together. Silencing himself.
Once the sounds below have died down, he finally drags himself upright. Still gripping onto his side. He didn’t exactly think it through much more than this. He hasn’t got the slightest clue where his friends could be and he has no idea how he’s going to sort out his injury. It’s not like it’s the deepest cut in the world but he also can’t pretend it’s not an issue.
First things first, the injury. He’s not going to get anywhere if he can’t sort himself out. Not to mention he’ll be nothing more than a burden for the others if he’s slowly dying. The quickest solution is to cauterize the wound but that requires heat - and probably alcohol if he doesn’t want an infection.
Screwing his head on straight, he begins looking around for any nearby flats that don’t seem to have lights on. Surely someone will be out this evening - even if it is slowly getting closer and closer to the middle of the night.
After scanning a few places by hopping along the balconies, he finds one that looks relatively empty. Smashing through the window with an elbow to quickly get entry. Although he winces a little at the sound of breaking glass he still hops through. Doing his best to avoid the shard as he shuffles into the kitchen.
He must be leaving a trail of blood through the place but he’s too out of it to care. His head spinning as he tries to steady himself. Gripping onto the edge of the sink as he scrambles for anything to lean on. Supporting himself before his body can give up entirely.
As he stands there, huddled over the kitchen sink and breathing in shallowly, he does his best to piece himself back together. Dragging out all the energy he had left to turn on the stove and place a long metal knife on the fire. Could he have found something better if he took more than one second to look? Maybe. But as long as it works, that’s all that matters.
It takes a lot of effort to pry himself away from the sink. Swaying and wobbling uncomfortably as he stumbles around the room. Thankfully he manages to stop himself from completely collapsing onto his knees but stumbling around like he’s drunk off his mind probably isn’t much better.
Having already trashed the window and splashed blood around he gives up caring about the state of the place. Throwing open every cupboard he can reach as he chucks all this persons food and equipment around the room in search of any kind of alcohol. And if he snacks on a few scraps of food here and there, who’s to stop him?
Apparently he has earned a little luck after all that as he finds a bottle of sake tucked behind a mountain of dry noodles. Using his teeth to twist off the cap, he spits it across the room and takes a deep swig before grabbing a random square cloth from one of the draws to shove in his mouth. The sake burns as it goes down and for a second it distracts his brains from the searing pain in his abdomen. But as quickly as the pain vanished, it returns. And in full force this time.
Once the cloth has been sufficiently shoved in he begins to lift his shirt and examine the damage. All things considered it doesn’t look that dirty. At least not for someone who’s been walking around without a bath or shower for days now. Blood has soaked through the clothes though so maybe the pink is just covering up all the filth.
Biting down hard on the cloth, he begins the tedious process of washing out the wound. The searing, burning pain clearing his mind for a moment. Dispelling the fuzzy fog which had been settling on him. But no matter how much it stings and burns, he refrains from screaming and just keeps tipping more and more on. Gently prying open the wound to pull out a few tiny shard of glass which had been embedded in the wound. Chances are those weren’t the only ones but there’s only so much he can find.
As soon as the knife is glowing hot he grabs the hilt. Enjoying the heat that radiates off the handle. He suspects the rest isn’t going to be quite as enjoyable though… Bracing himself and sitting down in one of the nearest chairs, he leans back and twists the knife so the non sharp edge is pointed towards his body.
And before he can back out he bring it right down on his abdomen.
Screaming into the cloth as his skin sizzles. The smell of burning meat and blood filling the room. If he wasn’t completely consumed by the pain he might feel bad for whoever owns this place.
Only when the wound it properly sealed does his let his hand release the knife. Dropping it down onto the ground as he slumps back in the chair. Taking another swig of the sake. And another. And another. Until the entire bottle is empty. And then he throws that across the room too.
Every nerve is his body is aching and screaming but he forces himself up onto his feet. He can’t even tell if he’s swaying from the sake or from the blood loss at this point. But whichever one it is doesn’t matter. All that matters is he finds the others.
And so as the clock strikes midnight he carefully clambers back out of the window and starts to stalk the night streets. Half hobbling and half swaying with the breeze.
Chapter 44: 7th of June
Summary:
Stressed and in pain, Hajime locates the others once more
Chapter Text
07/06 - 05:09
Holding back his wince, he stumbles through the door. As soon as he’s through he leans against the door to push it closed. Sliding down the wooded surface until he’s slumped on the floor.
“Hajime!” Sonia immediately rushes to his side, grabbing his shoulders and pulling him close even though he’s soaked through with now drying blood.
After hours of searching every abandoned building in vain, he finally managed to stumble upon the right one. Peering in through the cracks to catch sight of their small group huddled up in a corner of the room. At least they’re trying to stay out of view.
Now he’s inside he can see everyone a little more clearly, or as clearly as he can with the world swaying before him. Most of them are still sat up - eyes wide open. Not that he can blame them given everything that just happened.
The only people actually laying down sleeping are Mikan, who is now littered with bruises all along her skin, and Akane. While Akane is laying near Teruteru - both of them hidden to the side away from everyone else - Mikan is laying front and center. Her head resting on Nekomaru’s lap as Ibuki tentatively plaits the loose strands draping down.
Aside from them, he’s hardly surprised to see Fuyuhiko and Peko sat together with their heads down to one side and Mahiru and Hiyoko both laying down on the floor together. Eyes wide open. But others than those few, everyone else is huddled into an uneven circle. Mitarai sat at the edge of the huddle like a tumor growing on the side.
However as soon as Sonia runs over towards him, everyone that’s awake shifts towards him slightly. Some of them running over while others simply turn themselves to fully look in Hajime’s direction.
Following hot on Sonia’s heels is Kazuichi, “Dude, where were you? Are you okay?” He’s still only whispering but even in the darkness he can see the way his eyebrows lower.
“Are you injured? Where is the blood coming from?” Fuyuhiko and Peko waste no time rushing over but unlike Sonia and Kazuichi who fawn over him, they both stay back. Drinking in every inch of his appearance.
“It’s not mine.” He mumbles with a wince. Shoving the pain and wobbliness down as deep as he can until no one else can see a hint of it.
“Eeeek! You might as well be Carrie right now.” Ibuki’s squeal doesn’t exactly make him feel any better. The world swaying before him as he tries to keep his vision of Ibuki stable.
“Thanks.” He sighs and gently brushes Sonia’s hand off of his shoulder as he slowly stands up. Trying not to groan as he stumbles up with a wobble. The last thing they need after the last night is to be worrying about him too.
“May we ask what happened?” Peko tilts her head as she asks. Already bracing herself for him to shut her down but instead he simply mutters -
“I just did what I had to do. I didn’t want to hurt them but they didn’t give me much choice.”
No one knows what to say to that so they simply nod. Looking away from him in the least subtle way possible.
They are right that he looks a state though. He might not have seen his reflection but he can feel the way his clothes stick to him painfully. The blood soaking into every inch of his skin still uncomfortably sticky. Every movement makes it crack and ooze. A shower would be nice right about now.
However when he says ‘ abandoned building’ he really means it. Once upon a time it must have been a warehouse as it’s a large room with an incredibly high ceiling. The only ‘furniture’ to be seen are a few rusty shelving units. Flakes of rust peeling off right in front of their very eyes. There are cracks all over the walls and small puddles of water can still be seen all across the floor. Considering that it seems to have been a while since it last rained he’s not sure he wants to know any more about it.
The water is far from their biggest problem though. Instead they should be more worried about the shattered shards of glass which are littering the water stained floor. He’s surprised they even allowed Mikan, Hiyoko, Mahiru and Akane sleep on it.
“We did find a toilet and sink in the little room over there.” Kazuma lifts a finger to point to a small inconspicuous door at the back of the room, “It hasn’t got a shower but you could use the sink to wash yourself off a little.”
“As magnificent as the cloak of death looks draped upon you, not all have the same appreciation as Gundham Tanaka, the supreme overlord of ice.” The comment followed by the warm smile feels oddly wholesome coming from Gundham but he simply nods in acknowledgement. Shuffling along to the bathroom as naturally as he can. Wincing at the stinging of his side and the cracking of his clothes with every step.
Thankfully no one follows him as he approaches the bathroom. Making sure to close and lock the door behind him. But judging by the effort it takes to even turn the lock, he’s not convinced it will actually hold up to any kind of assault.
Only when he is fully alone in the bathroom does he breath out a sigh of relief. Leaning over the sink and gripping onto the sink. His teeth biting down hard on his lip only to be immediately followed by the stale metallic taste hitting his tongue. He immediately tries to spit the dried blood out of his mouth but it’s too late. The damage has already been done. The sooner he gets this damn stuff off his face and body, the better.
Before anything else he peels off the t-shirt and ball it up in the sink. Turning on the tap and letting the water dribble onto the shirt. No matter how much he turns the tap, no more water begins flowing. This is going to take a while…
He looks up to the mirror to start working on cleaning only to find himself jumping back at the sight. He knew he must look a state but actually seeing it is entirely different.
Everything is slathered in a layer of blood which has dried deep red. Small pieces already flaking off which makes it look like his skin itself is peeling off. What few parts of his face aren’t covered are an ashy pale. Only punctuated by the deep bags which underline his eyes. The darkness only highlighting just how blood shot his eyes are.
Yet somehow the worst part is not any of that. The part that really captures his gaze is his hair. Just like everything else his hair didn’t escape the splattering but that doesn’t even clock on his radar. Instead he’s fixated on the black roots peeking through. A good centimeter or two of inky black punctuating the nice brown colour him and Akane had worked so hard to get. The sight of it alone takes the breath out of his lungs. It’s like all thoughts of the blood immediately leave him.
He’s not stupid, he knew the dye wasn’t permanent. Without literally altering his genetics like Hope’s Peak did there’s nothing he can do to stop the parade of time. Yet seeing it in person is entirely different.
Unable to think about anything else, he rings out his shirt a little. Watching the water turn pink as it dribbles off the shirt. Then before doing anything else he slings the shirt over the mirror. Tucking it over so it holds firm with no threat of suddenly dropping down.
Working without the mirror, he begins the tedious job scrubbing every inch of his body. Peeling off layers of skin on his face until everything is burning but he can no longer feel the crusty blood permeating him. After that he moves further down the body. Using his nails to scratch at his body as best he can. At least he can see what he’s doing though which is a slight improvement.
The only time he is gentler is when he begins working around his fresh burn. Splashing the water over the wound more than anything else. It doesn’t really do much but the cooling water is pleasant at least. For a few short seconds his abdomen almost feels normal until the searing pain returns in full force.
But no matter how much he scrubs, the blood refuses to ever fully leave. Even the fresh new layers of skin stained slightly pink. It’s like the blood has seeped right down into his bones. Staining his very soul bright pink.
Eventually he has to call it quits. Throwing the towel in before he actually loses his mind. At least he looks somewhat passable now which is a few dozen steps up from what he had been like before.
Needing to clean off his shirt, he does his best to completely ignore the mirror as he scrubs at his own clothes. Not stopping until the water runs clear. By the end his fingers are wrinkled from being soaked for so long but at least he looks presentable when he pulls the t-shirt on. At least if he ignores the way it drips around him. Clinging to his skin unflatteringly.
The only upside is that the wetness allows him to manipulate the t-shirt to try and conceal the slash in the fabric which would reveal the freshly cauterised wound. The last thing he wants to deal with right now is more panic.
But judging by the way everyone’s eyes follow him as he steps out - they don’t all agree with his current assessment of himself.
“How did it go?” Nekomaru asks quietly, trying not to disturb the somehow still sleeping Mikan resting in his lap.
Raising an eyebrow he waves at his body, unimpressed. If anything they’d be better judges than he is. It’s not like there’s much more he can do without a change of clothes and shower though. Who knows how long it will be until they can get that.
“You did a wonderful job.” Nagito tries to be encouraging but it only makes him want to roll his eyes.
Instead he shuffles over to their little huddle. Leaving a small trail of water behind him as he walks along. At least it’s an improvement from blood trails he supposes.
As he takes a seat amongst them he clears his throat and begins his announcement, “I actually had an idea.”
While he had been cleaning himself off he had nothing but time to think. And after all that, there’s only one solution that came to his mind. At least only one which has any hope of actually working.
“Please tell me its a good idea and not one that’s going to end up with us getting killed.” Hiyoko grumbles. If he didn’t feel like he was only half conscious he might be annoyed at her comments but as it stands he practically just blanks her out.
“Well if it goes well it will actually stop us getting murdered.”
“That does sound nice.” Sonia mumbles wistfully like its nothing more than a distant dream.
A little offended at the lack of faith, he tuts, “I’m being serious. I think we need to disguise ourselves. Dye our hair, cut it, change our clothes. Anything. Everything. These people are going to be able to find this place if they give it even a seconds thought. We need to get ahead of them and stop them from catching on.”
“That’s lovely and all but how are we going to do that?” Fuyuhiko grumbles, bringing his arm up to rest on his knee. “We might have stuff to cut our hair but we don’t exactly have changes of clothes or hair dye lying around.”
“And we would be slaughtered like livestock if we dared venture into those forbidden lands. Those vultures will not let us slip between their fingers once more.” Gundham sighs, drawing one leg up for him to rest on.
“Not all of us.” He lets his gaze move around the circle until he lands on Kazuma and Mitarai. Both of them immediately sense his gaze, eyes widening at once. It takes less than a second for the idea to click in Kazuma’s mind but poor Mitarai is left floundering. Staring around the circle. Panic alight within his eyes.
“You do not mean…” Sonia bites her lip. Her finger nails digging into her palm at the same time as if she doesn’t even dare to say the words aloud.
“It’s not a crazy idea. Kazuma has never had a stable appearance so it’s impossible for anyone to recognise them. And Mitarai was never a despair so why would they recognise him?” He says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world - which it is.
“Buttttt, should we chuck them out to be devoured by the hammerhead sharks?”
“I…?” He pauses for a second attempting to process whatever point Ibuki is trying to say before shaking his head clear, “We’re not chucking them out. They would simply slip out and try to by a little hair dye and some clothes. They’ll be coming back or what’s the point?”
“It still feels a little harsh, what if they get hurt?” Kazuichi tugs at his own arm. Pulling at it almost rhythmically as he mumbles.
“Do you have any other ideas?” He grits his teeth and looks around the circle. Waiting for someone to even try and think of something.
Sure they could just try and leave in the middle of the night but they’re not exactly on the outskirts of the city. In fact, they’re more in the center now than they had been when they first ran into the mob. The thought of trying to push through all that again to find any way out of this place makes him feel sick to his stomach. Besides now they know that they’re here, chances are they’re going to be looking out for them even more tomorrow. It’s all they can do to hope they think that they’ve just run away from the city entirely.
But much to his relief, he’s not entirely alone. Some of the others have a semblance of a brain in there, “Hajime is right. It wouldn’t be safe to leave this building without sorting out our appearance.” Nagito explains firmly. Face as cold and stern as possible.
“We can’t risk being caught.” Mahiru finally let her gaze flutter over to Mikan who’s still sleeping on the floor. Her face contorted even in sleep.
The bruise on her wrist has become deep red and has swollen up dramatically. It’s by far bigger than the other bruises littering her body - especially on her face - but they all look equally painful and sore. Not to mention the scabs lining her body from where she got the small fragments of glass lodged in.
“It sounds like a good plan to me. Ryota doesn’t need to come though. I can get everything we need on my own.” Kazuma doesn’t look up from the ground as they speak. Keeping their head dipped low as if to hide their expression.
“No,” Mitarai immediately jumps in like a fire has been lit under him, “I’ll come with you.” He’s doing his best to maintain a serious expression but his mask is nowhere near good enough yet. They can all see the cracks in the mask as clear as day.
“You don’t have to. I can work well on my own.” Kazuma lays a firm hand on Mitarai’s shoulder but the other man refuses to budge.
“I need to do this.”
“That’s settled then.” Kazuichi hums under their breath, leaning back slightly. Sighs deeply and looking around the room, “Does anyone have any colour requests?”
~~~
07/06 - 11:15
They all wait patiently hours and hours for Kazuma and Mitarai’s return. Huddling together the entire time. Trying to stick as far away from any windows as they possibly can. The longer it goes on, the more dark thoughts begin to permeate their minds. Creeping in as the day drags further on.
Logically he knows it’s not a quick job for them to do but that doesn’t settle his nerves. He was the one that asked them to do this so it’s all on his shoulders if anything happens to them. Should he be trying to tempt fate though?
It’ll all be fine… It will be…
As the world outside gets louder and louder and brighter and brighter they only push closer and closer together. They don’t even dare get up and walk around. Even though they all try their best to hide it, there’s no hiding the way they all flinch at every footstep that rings outside the building. Holding their breaths at every passing person.
Are they paranoid? Yes. But that knowledge doesn’t exactly comfort them.
It’s only worse when Akane and Mikan finally wake up. What had been flinching before now becomes full on whimpers from Mikan as she tries to cover up her head with her hands. Even Hiyoko can’t bring herself to scoff at the sight.
When the door finally creaks open, Mikan fully flies back. Launching herself into Nekomaru’s chest who thankfully is stable enough to simply wrap her up in his arms. Setting a heavy hand on her head to try and settle some of her chattering before anyone really does overhear them.
“Apologies, it’s just me. Just us.” Kazuma holds up their hands as if they somehow did something wrong. But even hearing that isn’t enough to calm Mikan’s shivers. She simply buries her face in Nekomaru’s neck as she trembles uncontrollably.
“Come in and close the door quickly.” Peko hisses, beckoning them both forwards.
Mitarai immediately flushes but wastes no time in following her directions. Gently closing the door behind him and breathing out a sigh of relief.
For the first time, Hiyoko jumps up and rushes over towards the other two. Barely looking their way as she makes a beeline for the pairs backpacks, “Did you get what you needed?” She reaches up and begins to pull the backpacks off their backs before they’ve even had a chance to come in and get settled. Tearing into the bags wildly.
“We had to go to a lot of different stores so they didn’t notice us taking so much but we got most of what we needed I think.” Kazuma explains, not even trying to fight off Hiyoko. Letting her unbox the selection they had managed to stuff into their bags.
They all take that as their sign to begin creeping over. Peering forwards to try and get a look at what they had been able to find. It’s not exactly a wide selection as they had settled on only doing blonde, brown and black hair to stand out as little as possible, but there are as decent number of boxes at least. He’s not sure if it will really be enough for them all but if they start cutting off hair they can probably make it work.
“We also managed to grab some make up.” Ryota pulls a few vague looking pallets and bottles of foundation from his pockets to add to the little pile, “It might be enough to disguise our faces a bit if anyone is good at make up.”
“Leave that to Ibuki and Sonia!” Ibuki holds out her fist towards Sonia. Grinning energetically as Sonia gives her a fist bump, making a whooshing noise the entire time. He can’t help but wince at the sudden sound filling the room.
Mahiru takes stock of the pile before she begins frowning, “What about clothes?”
“We didn’t have enough space in our bags…sorry…” Mitarai swallows hard. Almost choking on nothing but air.
Kazuma isn’t quite as quick to fold though, “Neither of us need to dye our hair so we’ll go in a minute while you’re all sorting out your hair.”
Mahiru pauses for a second, opening and closing her mouth, before pressing her lips back together and falling silent. It does sound pretty reasonable after all but he can’t help but feel a little guilty for putting this all on them.
“How are we going to do this then?” Kazuichi asks softly, his eyes not leaving the selection of boxes on the floor as everyone start scrambling to grab their won boxes. His nails digging hard into the palms of his hands.
Akane jabs a finger towards Hajime as she launches into her explanation, “I’m gonna fix up Hajime’s roots while you start cuttin’ your hair. Then we’ll split up to start dyein’ the hair.”
It sounds so simple when Akane explains it but once Mitarai and Kazuma leave again, chucking some scissors their way, they’re faced with the reality. All Hajime can do is wince as everyone begins hacking away unevenly at each others hair. Maybe he should have been giving haircuts instead of sorting out his own hair because he had no idea hair cuts could look this bad.
Peko is lucky enough to end up with a relatively even looking cut since Fuyuhiko was the one cutting her hair and she was only taking a few inches off of her already long hair. It might not be a very big hair cut but it’s still pretty impressive for Fuyuhiko to manage such straight cuts.
Mikan on the other hand drew the short straw. She’s already a state but the short lopsided locks that were hacked away on by Ibuki are far from flatter. While she’s never had even hair, when the hair is so much shorter it somehow manages to look a million times worse. Mikan gets her back though when she starts to take a little bit of length off Ibuki’s hair. Her shaking hands resulting in a jagged look which looks like a toddler has had a field day.
Kazuichi is left with the toughest job though. After wincing through every cut Nekomaru made on his own hair - bringing it from shoulder length all the way up to a similar short length as Hajime - he was left with the task of giving Nekomaru a buzz cut with nothing but scissors. He’s far from achieving the look but it’s short enough and Nekomaru doesn’t seem all that bothered so that’s all that matters.
While Hiyoko ends up with a somewhat passable bob from Mahiru, Mahiru’s pixie cut is painful to look at. He has to physically force his eyes away to avoid the pain which makes him want to rush straight over there with some scissors. Entire chunks of hair that are right next to each other are entirely different lengths. Somehow managing to look worse than both Mikan and Ibuki.
Akane had originally offered to cut Teruteru’s hair - taking his shoulder length hair and tidying it up into something resembling a mullet - but with Akane preoccupied with Hajime’s roots, Peko steps in. Apparently blades in general like her as she glides through his hair with ease making it all look like a walk in the park. Even Teruteru can’t hold back a grin as he looks at the mess around him compared to his own style.
Over the next 30 minutes as he waits for his bleach to finish developing on the roots, he moves around the room cleaning up the hair styles as best he can. It’s not like he can work miracles but at least they don’t look completely horrifying anymore. Given what he had to work with that’s about the best they can hope for.
Once the bleach has been washed out in the sink they start the real project. Splitting into three groups with him, Akane and Kazuichi each taking a colour and working through everyone. Kazuichi armed with the bleach, Akane with the brown dye and Hajime taking the black dye. Small lines forming in front of them as they slather every strand in the dyes. It might be a little bit slap-dash but as they slowly begin developing and washing out the dyes he can’t help but be a little impressed.
It takes all of his focus to not pass out as the world goes fuzzy around him. The scent of bleach and dye filling the room, casting a thick haze over him which only worsens his state even more. Considering just how loudly he can hear the blood pulsating through his head, he’s starting to think that adrenaline is the only thing keeping him upright right now.
Thankfully, even with his somewhat compromised state, he can make out the sight of everyone with their freshly dyed hair. Maybe it is just the chemicals fucking with him but he could swear they already look so different with just dyed hair. Nekomaru almost looks bald with his short, now blonde, hair but somehow he manages to make it look purposeful. At least the blonde colour makes it hard to see the dodgy looking cuts from Kazuichi.
Mikan and Ibuki look completely foreign with blonde hair - especially when juxtaposed with Kazuichi’s short black hair and Sonia who is now grinning with a black bob. She’s still trying to trim off the white patches of Gundham’s hair since he had refused to dye or fully cut his hair. Fighting the uphill battle.
He had jokingly mentioned Hiyoko and Mahiru looking like sisters before but now they both have short brown hair it couldn’t be more true. Even Hiyoko’s hair style is a parody of Mahiru’s old hair style.
At the side of the room Fuyuhiko and Peko are sat opposite each other, both sporting matching brown hair. Peko is sat still as a statue as Fuyuhiko weave his fingers through her hair. Trying to puff it up into a new style without the strands falling straight in her eyes. It’s a hopeless endeavor though.
However as he examines the room of almost entirely new people, Akane runs over to him excitedly. Her hair still dripping wet having just washed out all the dye, “What d’ya think?” Akane smirks as she shakes her black pixie cut at him. Deflating slightly as the hair is unable to swish the same way it used to, even when wet.
“It suits you actually.” He’s not even lying. Some of them look awkward with their new cuts and colours - like Teruteru with his black mullet - but Akane’s looks completely natural. If he hadn’t met her before he would assume she had always had naturally dark hair.
They’re far from being unrecgonisable but hopefully it will buy them a little more leeway if nothing else. Hopefully…
Chapter 45: 8th of June
Summary:
Now freshly disguised they decide to try and sneak out for supplies once more.
Chapter Text
08/06 - 06:49
Another sleepless night. He’s not even sure why he bothers at this point. Who could have known that the cold wet and hard floor was a bad place to try and sleep? The only consolation was that he wasn’t the only one suffering.
None of them dared say a word out of fear of being noticed but that only made the sound of them all tossing and turning louder. Echoing through the hollow room as they all groan and pulled at their measly blankets.
But as bad as the floor is, he has managed to sleep on worse before. The real thing keeping him awake are the images in his mind, the metallic scent in his nose as the throbbing pain in his abdomen. It’s not like it wasn’t hurting yesterday, but it’s easier to forget about the pain when you’re occupied. Now he’s laying here on the floor all he can think about is the tendrils of stabbing pain slowly stretching out further and further. He has to grit his teeth to stop him hissing every time he shifts.
The only relief are the moments when his brain begins to turn foggy. Slowly drifting further and further away from his body. Even that doesn’t last though as he’s immediately dragged back the next time he rolls ever so slightly.
All of their new clothing certainly doesn’t help. It’s not like he’s going to blame Kazuma and Mitarai after everything they have done for them but they couldn’t have found worse clothes if they tried. There was no sense of cohesion in the designs or sizes at all. It was somewhat decent for the girls as they got away with slightly worse for wear looking dresses (although Peko did not seem too fond of the idea of running wearing her knee length dress - especially when she has no where to hide her blade on it). For the rest of them it was a free for all.
Trying to find matching bottoms and tops was impossible so they had to just try and do the best they could with what they were given. Sticking to sizes more than designs but even that has very little variety. Who would have thought that the apocalypse was a bad time to go clothes shopping?
As such Hajime is left laying here in a shirt that is about four sizes too big. Fabric hanging loosely around his body. He’d chosen it in the hopes it wouldn’t brush against his abdomen too much but instead it seem to just tickle his sensitive skin in all the worse way. Sending spikes of static through him like a bullet every few seconds.
Some people like Nekomaru seemed far too happy to be wearing a tank top that is too small for him, but Kazuichi spent all day tugging on the fabric as it clung to every part of his body. Meanwhile Fuyuhiko is slumped over drowning in his long sleeved shirt. The sleeves draping over him unceremoniously. Somehow the only person looking somewhat decent is Gundham but at his point he’s willing to believe that Gundham has managed to cast a spell on himself.
Eventually even he need to give up pretending to sleep, rubbing at his burning eyes instead. Not a single part of his body free from the searing pain apparently. Sunlight is already streaming in through the cracks which just makes his eyes sting even more.
Stumbling a little, he moves straight to the bathroom. Peoples eyes follow him the entire time but he couldn’t care less. He just wants this day to be over already and it hasn’t even begun yet.
Once the bathroom door is closed he finally releases his jaw. Hissing as he rests his elbows on the sink. Low enough so he can’t see his own reflection in the mirror. Focusing only on the trembling visage of his hands instead.
With a trembling hand he reaches down and pulls up his new shirt to examine the wound beneath. Hissing as he catches sight of the red puffy looking skin surrounding the still raw burn. Looking at it in the light of day it looks even angrier and uglier that he thought it would. God, after all that it better not be infected. At what point is it better to just drop dead?
Tentatively he reaches a finger towards it. Inching it closer and closer until the finger makes contact. At once he hisses, almost completely flinching back. Only holding himself somewhat in place by curling his free hand around the sink. Anchoring himself.
White hot pain streaks through his head. Like an iron stabbed right behind his eyes. Throwing back his head he bites down on his lip hard enough to stop any sound managing to squeeze out. Putting himself tightly under lock and key.
At once he releases the baggy shirt and backs up until he sits himself down on the closed toilet. Leaning his head back until it hits the wall. He should probably be more horrified at getting close to - let alone touching - the wall but right now he can’t bring himself to care.
Painkillers. That’s what he needs. Lots of them and fast.
But first he needs to figure out where they’re even going to get them. There’s probably a drug store somewhere out there but it’s not like he can just go meandering about. Not without the others asking questions at least. He doesn’t need to ponder for long to figure out how that question would go.
Instead he settles for the tried and true method of taking a few deep breaths and pulling up his mask. Forcing a confident and stable expression. Refusing to let a single crack shine through.
He can do this. He can do this. He can do this.
He repeats it like a mantra but he’s not sure how much good it’s really doing. Maybe all of this is just wishful thinking and nothing more.
As soon as he feels moderately put together, he wobbles to his feet and stumbles back out of the room. One foot in front of the other. And again. And again. Eyes drawn to the ground beneath him to make sure he’s not going to trip on anything. The last thing he needs is another filthy piece of glass slicing through the raw flesh. He’s had more than his fill of that for the time being.
Only once he reaches the rest of the group does he dare to look up. Grinding to a halt so nothing can creep up and trip him over while he’s not devoting 100% of his energy to looking where he’s going.
Most of them are still laying on the ground. Maintaining the ongoing charade of sleep. However a few of them had take him leaving as enough of an invitation. Slowly rising to sit upright. Still smothered in their blankets, pulling them as tight as possible in spite of the relative warmth of the morning.
Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko turn their heads towards him as he approaches but Akane, Nekomaru, and Mahiru don’t even twitch in his direction. Since they’re not even talking it almost looks like their bodies are completely vacant. Eyes glazed over.
Well if no one else is going to sort anything out then it’s going to fall to him as usual... He begins dragging a few of the backpacks out. Doing his best to hide his wincing with a few well timed head ducks and some subtle hunching.
As he begins pulling out the contents of the bags as few more people start to poke out of their cocoons. Not so subtly peering around the try and sniff out whatever he’s ‘making’. He might not know exactly what they’re all hoping for but he already knows they’re going to be severely underwhelmed. There’s only so much you can do with scraps of stale crackers and canned food. Especially when you don’t have a cooker or pans (or even seasoning but that might as well be a luxury in this day and age).
He does his best, opening up a few assorted cans for people to pass around. Given how little supplies they have he opts for only opening up eight cans for now. Half a can should be enough for breakfast…
Look, they might not been eating like kings but they are eating. It’s not like they thought this was all going to be easy. Hopefully one day they’ll have a safe comfortable place and more than canned processed food. But this isn’t that day and that’s okay. He refuses to let this be their entire future though.
As Hajime fumbles with the cans, Kazuichi slowly approaches from behind. Doing his best to keep his footsteps quiet but failing miserably. It’s probably for the best though because Hajime’s not sure he trusts himself with surprises right now. Not when a hot flush seems to be hitting him like a truck every time he so much as shifts.
“Are you okay?” Kazuichi asks as he sets a hand on Hajime’s shoulder. Hajime just shrugs him off with a tensed jaw.
That damn question again. It feels like they’re always asking this damn question but not one of them actually care about the answer. It’s an ingrained habitual response at this point but he still spouts it out, “I’m fine.”
“Are you s-?”
“Yeah, I’m sure.” He snaps a little too quickly. Probably not doing a good job of selling the point, “I’m just tired.” He turns to look at Kazuichi. Praying the look in his eyes will be enough to sell it.
Much to his relief Kazuichi chuckles. Breaking the weight that had settled over Hajime as Kazuichi’s eyebrows begin to relax. His frown curving up a little at the sides.
“Yeah, this place kinda sucks.” Kazuichi backs off slightly, tilting his head up to try and peer through some of the cracks in the roof. Letting the sun light and soft red of the sky hit his eyes, “I’m starting to miss those beds which is crazy to think about now.”
“We’re never sleeping on beds again, are we?” Hiyoko huffs as she lays there. Her back turned to everyone so she’s simply staring at the wall. Her head resting on her arm in lieu of an actual pillow to use.
“Don’t say that! Ibuki smells feather beds in our future.” Ibuki gives a big thumbs up as if that’s a normal thing people say.
Not wanting to give Hiyoko false hope, he simply presses his lips even tighter together. Never is a big word to use in a place like this but…
“Before we even think about beds we need to think about food.” He sighs, grabbing the nearest can and pressing it into Kazuichi’s hands, “We don’t have plates or bowls still so we’re just passing around the cans again. I’ve opened a variety this time so just pass them around and make sure you don’t take too much of each thing. Everyone is sharing the same can.”
Blinking away the fuzziness that’s slowly creeping into his mind, he starts to hand the cans around the group. Pulling up the people who were still laying down so they can join in before the food completely vanishes.
“From the same can?” Fuyuhiko frowns a little as he takes the can of white peaches from Hajime. Wrinkling up his nose as he peers into the ‘fresh’ can.
“Yeah, unless you have a problem with that.” Hajime sighs slightly. Out of everything they’ve done so far, this is where he draws the line?
“It is not exactly hygienic.” Sonia offers tentatively as she gently takes a can from Nekomaru as he passes it over to her.
Thankfully Gundham is ready to jump in at a moments notice, “Have you forgotten where we have set our flag. No sane life would dare encroach on a poisoned place such as this.”
“None of this is exactly hygienic. We’re making do with what we have for now.” Hajime sighs, taking in a deep breath that rattles dangerously in his chest.
He doesn’t even want to think about what that bathroom is like. Not to mention the water that comes out of that sink. This place is crawling with diseases but beggars can’t be choosers and they are most certainly beggars.
At least after that no one has any other complaints to raise. All just eating their food in silence and keeping their heads sufficiently down.
As they begin scraping at the bottoms of the cans, Kazuma sets down their can and sighs, “While we’re in a town we should probably go searching for food again.”
Their shoulders hunch over slightly as they keep their head down. Refusing to look up and see everyone else’s reactions to the statement. None of them want to be the first person to go out there…not when the memory is still so fresh in their minds.
“Really? I thought you went and got food before we came here?” Mahiru cocks her head to the side a little.
“Yeah, that’s what we were all carrying in our bags.” Teruteru just cradles his can before trying to pass it off to Nekomaru but the man completely tilts away. Refusing to even look at the can that Teruteru is trying to foist on him. Unfortunately Mikan isn’t quite as adverse as she begins nibbling away at a few small beans left in the can.
Sure enough, looking at the spread they do still have a lot of cans. There must be at least a hundred in total but if they can go through eight in a single meal then it is starting to feel like less and less.
“We should probably save those for when we’re travelling though. Cans last after all.” Nagito hums without even needing to stop and think for a second.
“I thought we were travelling today anyway?” Teruteru looks around at them all desperately. Frantically examining each of them as if expecting them to whip around and stab him in the back or something. By now he would have hoped he would have a little more trust and faith in them all.
It’s not just him though.
“Y-Yes…I…I th-thought we were l-leaving.” Mikan bites at her nails. Practically trying to rip them off with her teeth. Thankfully Sonia is there to rest a comforting hand on her arm. Pulling her hand away out of her reach.
Although that had been the immediate obvious plan, he was starting to doubt the idea. And judging from what Nagito said, he’s not the only one. At least they know they have access to supplies here. And with their disguises it’s not like they’re at immediate risk of peril.
“That was the plan but maybe it is better to stay here for a while.” He clears his throat, bracing for the onslaught. Sure enough people immediately round on him. Staring at him, utterly bewildered. You would think he had just told them all to jump off cliffs or something.
“Did you forget what happened to Mikan?” Peko points towards Mikan’s bruised face as if he doesn’t know how to use his eyes or something.
“Of course I remember but I mentioned that we were leaving the city already. They might even think we left straight away. If not they are more likely to be watching the edges of the city for us. Besides, if we just find a better way to hide then we have everything we need here for a few days.” He tries to sound as reasonable as possible but they all just stare at him like he’s mad.
“For a few days?” Mitarai’s eyes flicker around anxiously. Watching every single crack in the wall. Nibbling at his lower lip as if trying to hold something back.
“What’s the point of that?” Nekomaru grumbles. Not even trying to hide the way his hand reaches towards Mikan as if trying to remind himself that she’s still there with them.
“We need time to recover. I know we haven’t been walking loads but it all adds up. Besides I’m sure some of us have blisters by now. We just need a little time to reset and find our feet - maybe even figure out where we want to go - before we head off again.” He does his best not to look in Mahiru’s direction as he says that. It’s not just her though. They’re all probably worse than they’re outwardly looking. It’s not like Teruteru and Akane can support hiking long distances for much longer.
As much as he wants to say it’s all for them, he can feel his body throbbing. The t-shirt brushing against him in the wrong way a fresh sting of pain tears straight through him. He does believe this is the best course of action but he doesn’t want to think about how much of a pain it would be to try to hike now. Just the thought of it makes his head swirl, smothered by a thick heat.
“That makes sense. It won’t be forever after all. Being able to get somewhat fresh food will be nice.” Kazuma hums in response.
Even just the mention of fresh food makes his mouth water a little. Some vegetables would be welcome right about now.
“Fine…” Mahiru sighs, deflating a little but not fighting back in the slightest. Just giving into the entire thing. No matter what she argues, there’s no way she could keep going for another few hours of walking based on how she was reacting just the other day.
With that settled Kazuma slowly relaxes back into their initial position. Rolling their shoulders and sitting up straight, “Well, if we’re getting food who’s going?”
It seems like such an easy question but they all look around at each other. Waiting for someone, anyone to speak. After everything who would be willing to be on the front line testing out their disguises. It’s all well and good him being willing to stay here and go out, but asking everyone else to do it is more than a little cold.
“Ain’t we all goin’?” Akane crumples up her nose as if it’s the most obvious answer in the world. He has to hold himself back from completely face palming.
“That would probably draw too much attention as they’ll remember we were all together.” Nagito phrases it better than he could have. Just the mention of it is enough to turn the air cold though. Breath being sucked out of their lungs as everyone purses their lips at once.
In spite of him just thinking about how much of a pain it will be to walk, he finds himself raising his hand before he can control himself. If he wants to find painkillers then he’s going to need to go out. Besides maybe the fresh air will do him some good…being away from this unhygienic place certainly can’t be bad.
“I’ll go. And having three other people would probably be a good amount without drawing too much attention.” He hums, tapping his chin. It’s sort of an arbitrary number but a group of four just feels right. It’s not like people are going to question a quartet wandering about the city. At least he hopes so.
But instead of offering to accompany him, Peko simply shakes her head with a firm, “No.” Peko
“No?”
She crosses her arms like a stern parent. Shaking him down at once, “No, you haven’t changed your appearance. Not to mention you and Mikan were the focus of a lot of their attention. They’ll remember what you look like.”
Honestly, he hadn’t even considered that. Sure, he was dyeing his hair yesterday but it’s not like that made him look all that different. Touching up his roots did almost nothing. Even the clothes aren’t enough of a change to fully disguise him.
The smart choice would have been to fully bleach his hair - its not like he wasn’t part of the way their already. It would have been a good enough disguise but even just thinking about it now makes his stomach churn. Even if it’s stupid and gets him killed, he doesn’t regret it. Not fully at least.
“She’s right. I’ll go.” Nekomaru scratches the side of his nose causally before pointing over towards Peko and Fuyuhiko, “Peko and Fuyuhiko would you like to join me?” He phrases it like it’s a question but he doesn’t get the feeling it is. Not one with a selection of acceptable responses at least.
Thankfully Peko and Fuyuhiko don’t seem all that bothered. Fuyuhiko nodding steadily with a weak smile, “Yeah, we’ll come along too.”
“I’ll come too since it would be nearly impossible to tie me to you all.” Kazuma puts themselves forward as usual. Shuffling slightly in front of Mitarai as they do so. Forming a wall between the animator and everyone else - not that he needs to as Kazuichi begins to rubs his hands together.
“Well, that’s sorted then.” Kazuichi looks around at them all as if waiting for someone to jump in with a disagreement but everyone is simply nodding along.
“It would seem so. I am a little disappointed to not be coming but that appears to be a good group.” Sonia says it all with a smile. But it never quite reaches her eyes.
“We’ll do some super cool stuff while they’re gone. Don’t worry.” Ibuki winks as if they actually have some amazing plan. He has no idea what she could possibly be alluding to in this place though. It’s not like they even have the board games they used to play. There’s nothing but their cans and each other.
Nevertheless, Peko, Fuyuhiko, Nekomaru, and Kazuma grab their empty bags and begin filtering out. Although everyone does their best to force some jolly smiles, there’s a different energy in the air as soon as the others leave. A sharpness that hadn’t been there before. Everyone is upright an alert. Their eyes constantly flickering back towards the door as soon as they think everyone else isn’t looking.
Although Ibuki had promised lots of fun, it’s not a promise she is able to fulfill. Instead they keep themselves busy by carefully building a ramshackle wall out of shelving units and boxes to separate them from the view of the outside.
In consolation for not getting to go out with the others, Sonia and Ibuki flutter around outside in the nearby alley. Gathering up some boxes to drag back into the warehouse for their endeavors. As they do that Hajime, Kazuichi, Gundham and Akane do their best to gently lift the shelving units without letting them drag loudly on the ground. The sticky feeling of rust under his hand and the metallic scent in the air makes his stomach churn but he pushes through it as best as he can.
As they work Hiyoko and Mitarai stand in front of them. He’s not actually too sure what the pair are doing. Originally Mitarai had been there to direct them but Hiyoko is simply barking unhelpful judgements at them.
“No, that’s too straight. It looks too perfect. Move it again.”
“It’s meant to be perfect though, it’s a warehouse.” Kazuichi sighs, rolling his eyes.
“Too bad. I’m the one looking at it and it looks wrong from here.” She pouts crossing her arms.
They might as well make her a little throne at this point but they still scurry about at her whim. Shifting the shelves to and fro even though she’s smirking a little too much.
By the end it’s far from perfect - not to mention the cracks in the wall on their side would still make it all too easy to see them but at least it’s something, They can all hide in their little hidden alcove, huddled together as they wait for the others to return.
~~~
He has no idea when he fell asleep but there’s no other explaination for the scene in front of him. One minute he had been awake and the next he was stumbling around in a dark alleyway once again. Every brick and stone somehow both completely familiar and entirely foreign.
Somewhere well above him he’s vaguely aware of the red sky beaming down on him. Dark crimson in the setting sun. The last tendrils of light dripping from the sky catching on the sickly neon puddle spilling out around him. Shadows dancing amongst the slowly expanding circle.
Looking down all he can see is pink. Dripping in thick globs from every inch of him. Long strand sticking to him as they slowly ooze off before joining the puddle beneath him.
And then he blinks and bodies begin rising out of the liquid. Pale. Mangled. Grey. Eyes wide and each and every one staring straight at him. Blood shot and crisp even in the light. It’s like the eyes themselves glow. The colour of each eyeball saturated and sharp in a way that the rest of the word isn’t.
Some of their necks have been carved up. Wide slicing cut curving across the slope of their throats. Bloody grins that are still squirting blood. Twisted necks bend far enough back that the gormless body can still stare daggers into him. Others are charred beyond recognition - only their eyes remaining intact. And more still are laying there. Holes blasted through the center of their forehead like a third eye that can join in on the fun.
Each bodies hands are outstreched towards him as if they are dragging themselves out of the ocean of pink. Blood fingernail stretching out as single droplets begin to dribbled off of their hands too.
Clenching his hands into fists, all he can feel is the slippery, sticky squelching of the blood. It’s metallic scent cutting through any other thoughts. A cloud of it engulfing his mind. He exists in a world of nothing more than blood. The floor is blood. The sky. The walls. His clothes. His skin.
No matter how much he scratches at the skin of his palm, he can’t get rid of the blood. He’s unable to cut through the layer to see the colour of his skin. Beneath this layer is another layer and another and another. An endless cycle. There is nothing else within him. Just the same fucking oozing, bubbling liquid. Swelling and bursting from the seams.
In a desperate attempt to distract himself he curls up his hand again. Hiding everything from his view. It does nothing to calm the storm raveging his mind though.
Instead, he gazes upon the sea of faces. Of eyes. Trying to pick out where he’s seen them all before. The alleyway. The rooftop. The ruined city. Towa. The future foundation headquarters. The list is endless. As endless as the sea. They might as well be faceless. Bugs feasting on the bloated corpse of his life. Even with a gun to his head he couldn’t tell you the name of a single one. Only their glassy eyes remain.
So what is this? Some strange torture his mind has cooked up for himself. That sounds about right. And then his mind wonders why he doesn’t sleep…
Bending down, he tentatively reaches towards the nearest body with his warm dripping palm. Squirming fingers trying desperately to close around the other bodies hands. Before he’s even started he knows this is a bad idea but that changes nothing. As soon as he does make contact a shiver runs down his spine. The fluttering in his stomach intensifies. Like a swarm of ants burrowing into every inch of flesh that makes contact with the body.
But that doesn’t stop him.
He only reaches harder. Pulling more. Dragging. Heaving. Tugging. Until the body is at his feet. Eyes finally hidden from view throughout the process. Head pushed straight under. Blood consuming all.
With a firm grip he pulls the body up. Freeing it from it’s liquidy grave.
“AHHHH!” He lets out a scream before he knows what’s happening. Jumping back violently. Shoving the body away as he completely topples over. Legs completely falling out from under him.
The blood doesnt pull the body back under again though. It’s just left there staring at him. Pink hair splayed across its face but still not across those damn eyes. Never.
It’s no longer the faceless people. Instead he’s met with the open mouthed, pale and glassy eyed face of Kazuichi. He’s still in his stupid yellow boiler suit - the only colour punctuating the endless pink. Right now his hair is still long and bright pink but that just makes it impossible to tell where the hair ends and where everything else begins. A single bullet hole in the middle of his head. The shimmering metal sheen of the bullet still lodged within the bubbling wound.
Snapping his head up to try and escape the sight, he’s greeted by something even more horrifying. Every single face has morphed. Nagito with his face carved up. Fuyuhiko’s neck dribbling blood. Akane’s face locked in a permanent scream. A knife lodged deep in her throat. Sonia. Peko. Hiyoko. Gundham. Mahiru. Teruteru. Nekomaru. Ibuki. Kazuma. Mikan. Even Mitarai. They’re all floating here.
Yet even here, amongst everything else, Chiaki can’t leave him. Her face gaunt. Tears still streaking down her face until they slowly drip off to be consumed by the tide around her.
No matter what direction he turns he can’t escape the sight. It’s everywhere. Everywhere.
The only escape is closing his eyes. Without needing to take a single second to think he screws them up as much as humanly possible. Slamming his hands over his ears to block out the sloshing and dripping assaulting him from all sides. Pressing the heel of his hand in as far as it can go.
However as soon as he does something begins curling around his leg. He opens his eyes just in time to see himself get yanked under. Blood swelling over his vision. Blocking everything out until all he can taste is blood in the back of his throat. Reaching down far into his lungs. Scratching and tearing at every cell on the way. Until there’s nothing left.
Only then does he scream.
And just like that the rest of the world comes into focus as he shoot upright into the stillness of the night.
He expects to wake up to a hoarse throat but he doesn’t. He wakes up to eerie quiet. His head feels fuzzier than ever. A static sound buzzing deep inside his ears. Burrowing into his ear drums. Drowning out the screaming of his own heart at least. It might as well be beating at a million miles a minute based on how it feels right now.
Thick sweat soaking him but as he examines himself there is no blood anywhere to be seen. He even sneakily glances up his shirt to get a look at his abdomen but not a trace of pink anywhere to be seen.
He could laugh but he doesn’t. Instead he sighs as he sits upright and pulls the blanket tighter around him. It does nothing to settle the shivers coursing through him though. Chilling him to the bone with no hint of abating any time soon.
As he sits there he almost begins wishing they hadn’t set up this little ‘wall’. Sat here in the darkness with the steadily breathing forms of his companions around him, he can’t help but feel like a bird in a cage. The small cracks in the wall around them are barely enough to get a peek at the world around them. It’s a stupid thought really - the ‘wall’ doesn’t even fully cover the area they’re in. But no matter how much he tells himself it’s irrational, that does nothing to calm the anxiety twisting through his guts.
In a desperate attempt to distract his mind he instead begins counting the people around him. Examining the way they’re all laying there. Steady. Still. Somber.
Exhaustion has been slowly whittling them down. Fraying their edges piece by piece. So he shouldn’t be surprised to see so many of them passed out on the floor now. It’s far easier to count the number of people still up and awake than the opposite. Nightmares and the slightly damp and hard floor can only do so much before their bodies completely collapse on themselves.
In the distance, beyond the ‘wall’ he can hear soft murmuring. Gentle whispers which might as well be the breeze rattling through the warehouse. No matter how hard and long he tries to listen to the sounds, he can’t pick up a single word. But even if he can’t actually hear what’s being said, he can tell exactly who’s speaking. The only two people missing from the little huddle are Fuyuhiko and Peko.
In the back of his mind he knows he should probably call them back - after all they built this wall for a reason. But he can’t bring himself to go over there and interrupt the peaceful sound of their chatter. For a little while he can pretend that they’re just back on the island instead of trapped in this dank and dark room…
Instead he turns his attention on the only other person awake. Nagito. For a few seconds he almost looks asleep too. Laying out on the ground on his back. It’s not exactly the way he usually sleeps but Hajime barely even thinks twice about it at first. Only when the clouds above seemingly pass and a bright ray of moonlight begins to trickle in, lighting up Nagito’s face, does he realise the other man is wide awake. Staring up at the ceiling - or maybe the sky between the cracks - like it has some answers to offer them.
His hair has always been messy - more of a mop than anything else - but it somehow looks even messier now. Tangled until it looks more like a bird nest than anything else. Probably not helped by the now brown tone of his hair.
The few strand which escape the nest are now plastered to his head with sweat. Hardly the most attractive look but it’s not like any of them can say anything. The only people looking mildly decent right now are Sonia and Gundham but he’s not sure if that says more about the two of them or about everyone else. He’s not sure it even matters…
Taking a deep breath in, he clutches the blanket tighter around himself. Practically choking himself with the fabric as he begins to waddle to his feet. The first thing he wants to do is take a shower but it’s not like that’s an option anymore.
His clothes are sticking to him in all the wrong places. Hanging off him in awkward places and enhancing the sticky feeling permeating through him right down to his bones. Some rain would be appreciated right about now which is not something he thought he would be saying while they were trapped in this damn place.
Without anywhere else to go, he creeps his way across the room. Careful to maneuver his way over the sleeping bodies without jostling anyway. People crowding together doesn’t exactly help but he still manages to make it work. Breaking through the huddle until he’s on the edge of the group. Stood right beside Nagito.
The man doesn’t so much as blink in his direction but Hajime still readjusts his blanket before crouching down and laying beside him. Pressing right up to the edges of the mans personal space until he can hear the soft thump thump thump of his heart. The shallow breaths as his chest rises and falls. It’s only when he feels the slight warmth radiating off the other boy that his heart begins to mellow out. Eventually slowly down until it’s nothing more than a gentle petering.
For a moment Peko and Fuyuhiko fall completely silent. Not even breathing. He almost smirks thinking about how they must be looking right now as they fixate on the sound of Hajime. But after a few seconds of silence they go right back to whispering but are even quieter this time.
Once the silence has been broken he dares to speak in a low whisper, “Nagito?” Not looking in Nagito’s direction his hand reaches out cautiously to the side to gently tap Nagito.
“Hmmm? Nightmare?” Nagito doesn’t look his way but the words spill from his mouth anyway.
Hajime sighs as he releases some of the tension built up in his shoulders, “Something like that.” He turns his head to the side until he’s simply staring at the side of Nagito’s face, “You?”
“Someone needs to keep watch.” Nagito waves his finger about as if that’s explaining anything at all.
“Oh yeah? From here?”
He smirks but Nagito remains completely emotionless. His face almost impossible to read in the low glow of the room. His mused up hair shielding parts of his face only making it worse.
“Fuyuhiko and Peko woke up and went out to take over from me.”
“And -?”
“Hmmm?”
“Nevermind.” He sighs quietly. Or as quietly as he is able to. If Nagito doesn’t want talk about it then he doesn’t want to talk about it. That’s all there is to it.
However much to his surprise, Nagito suddenly shifts. He almost flinches back at the jerking movement but he manages to hold himself back. It’s not just a shifting though. Without any warning he fully sits up like a beacon in the middle of the room. Light catching him and reflecting on the pale plane of his face. Casting dancing shadows across him. Illuminating the way his face is scrunched up.
But before Hajime can say anything, Nagito gets up off the floor with a groan. Is he going to the bathroom? Or to get something? Or to talk to Peko and Fuyuhiko? Or what? His mind chases its own tail but as Hajime props himself up on his elbows the answer is plain as day.
He simply shuffles across the room until he find a corner that’s as far away from everyone else as humanly possible. Curling up into a ball almost at once.
Hajime swallows hard and grits his teeth. Message received.
Although he digs his nails into the heel of his hand but keeps his lips completely sealed. He’s not even sure what he was thinking coming all the way over here. It was a stupid idea, he should have just stayed where he was, regardless of how long he needed to lay their stewing in his thoughts.
As if mirroring Nagito, he tucks his arm under his head to create a makeshift pillow and pulls the blanket further up over him. Laying on his side so he can catch the slightest glimpse of Nagito as he lets his eyes close almost entirely. Only allowing a single crack of light in.
He has no idea what he’s expecting to see though. Nagito’s breaths never even out. His chest still rising and falling erratically even as his eyes flutter closed. Both of them simply lay like that. Facing each other meters apart. Chasing after sleep like a long lost dream or wish.
It’s hard to tell how long they lay like that. Staring at each other without ever closing that gap. It might be an hour. It could be two or three. Every second feels like an hour dragging along. Each time his eye lids flutter closed - even if it’s just for a second - those images from his dream come right back. Spilling over the wall from sleep into the waking world.
It’s a relief when the soft padding of feet begin to echo across the room. For a split second he thinks it’s Nagito but then his eyes drift ever so slightly open again and he can see Nagito still laying there. Unmoving. Eyes closed. Instead a form shuffles into view, dragging a blanket behind them. Not saying a word as they step straight between him and Nagito. Cutting off their view of each other completely. Laying down on the ground next to Hajime.
Fuyuhiko.
He’s still yawning, even as he lays there. His eyelids flickering open and closed as he tries his hardest to keep them open. Failing almost immediately. His head lolling a little as he fights the losing battle against the never ending tide of sleep.
As the seconds begin to pass he cautiously build up his courage, cracking open his eyes more and more until he’s sure the other man really is asleep.
It’s still jarring to see him with brown hair but he’s still so distinctly Fuyuhiko. Older. Wearier. More worn down. But still here. When was the last time they even sat down and spoke to each other. Really spoke? It feels like a million years ago but he knows it can’t have been more than a few weeks ago.
The longer he lays there, the more he begins to catch the slightest metallic scent hanging in the air. At first he thinks its nothing more than his mind and senses turning on him again. Dragging up the images from his dreams as if to try and torture him. But that grows harder and harder to believe as time passes. Even for his mind the smell is too…real. Visceral and heavy in the air. Thick and warm.
Internally chiding himself, he shuts down that train of thought. Metal is just about the most normal smell for a place like this. Hell, he should know best after seeing all that rust on the shelves. And then he notices the slightest drops of pink hanging onto the cuff of Fuyuhiko’s shirt. Single specks marring his otherwise neat and perfect shirt.
Chapter 46: 9th of June
Summary:
Fir the first time since disguising they make an attempt to explore the city beyond their walls
Chapter Text
09/06 - 10:18
Sucking in a deep breath, he closes his eyes. Tilting his head up to the sky. Who knew the air could taste this fresh? Something in the back of his mind quickly buts into to remind him of all the pollutants that must be floating around in the air right now but he immediately writes off that entire part of his mind. Ignoring it entirely.
It’s not even like he was inside that warehouse for long but stepping out now is like stepping into an entirely different world. Maybe its because of all the bleach and dyes gassing them all out… Either way its a relief to finally be out and stretching his legs. He can look past the burning in his abdomen if it means not having to sit indoors in silence all day…he’d forgotten just how boring sitting in a dark room like that can be.
“C’mon dude. We’re not waitin’ for ya.” Akane grumbles.
Sure enough she’s already a good twenty or thirty meters away. Not even stopping to shout back at him. He highly doubt she has the slightest clue where they’re going but that isn’t going to stop her.
However even if she’s committed to going on alone, the other’s don’t seem to feel quite the same way. Ibuki and Sonia are only a few steps away, intertwining their hands as they begin to swing their arms to and fro. But even if they aren’t looking his way, they haven’t moved an inch since Hajime stopped.
On the other hand, Kazuichi is still behind Hajime and he doesn’t see Akane yelling at him to hurry up. His hands are tucked into his pockets as he pulls the hood tighter around him. He’s not even sure why the boy offered to come when it’s so clear he would rather vanish on the spot. They had already selected the four that would be going out but Kazuichi had been determined to still join them. Refusing to take no as an answer.
Never mind. It’s too late to ask those questions now.
Mimicking Kazuichi, he shoves his hands in his pockets too. Letting his hand curl around the USB stick and Chiaki’s pin, rubbing the smooth surface with the rough pad of his thumb. Kazuichi is still the only person who knows he has the pin here and he has yet to tell anyone about the USB stick. In the back of his mind he knows he probably should - it’s not like it’s a secret - but what would be the point?
He understands why Makoto gave him the USB to keep on their travels but he’s starting to think it was a pointless endeavor. They can barely find a safe place to hide themselves, let alone somewhere with a computer. Nevertheless every time his hand brushes against it he’s reminded of Alter Ego’s smiling face and the promise they made. Just another thing he’s going to need to sort out…
He deftly shifts his hand in his pocket to avoid touching the USB or the pin as he follows the others. Setting off down the winding streets in search of some more fresh food they can sneakily steal.
When they were choosing who would accompany them he’d tried to catch the eye of Fuyuhiko or Nagito but they had both been hanging out as far from the group as possible. If he didn’t know better he would think they were avoiding him on purpose or something…
Gathering himself he add the thoughts of last night to the pile of things he’s going to leave behind. Another thing to shove deep down while he focuses on the task at hand. He can always catch Fuyuhiko on his own later, it’s not like it needs to be now.
Instead he picks up his feet and begin stumbling forwards. Trailing after Sonia and Ibuki but leaving enough distance so as not to get hit by their swinging arms. Their jovial humming is a shock compared to the brisk jog of Akane up ahead. Her back drifting in and out of sight as she races ahead, dipping between alleyways without looking back at the rest of them a single time. They have to race to have any hope of keeping up with her.
When they had entered the city it had been nighttime and although it was far from quiet, that was nothing compared to the busyness that crushes down on them now. Even when they simply weaving through the alleyways the hustle and bustle is an orchestra descending upon them. Thundering footsteps crashing all around. People yelling to be heard amongst the mounting roar. The beeping of cars all around almost makes him flinch back. After all this time he had almost forgotten what they sounded like.
He doesn’t notice his shoulders tensing until Kazuichi’s hand reaches out to settle on his shoulder. Pressing down on him until his muscles begin to unwind. Looking over his shoulder he’s greeted by Kazuichi’s softly smiling face. It’s probably not comforting in the way Kazuichi wants it to be but the wobbling forced grin still soothes him a little. At least it’s not just him.
Even Akane is no match for the chaos of it all. The closer they get to the main streets, the slower she becomes. Practically grinding to a full stop as they approach the mouth of the street. Forming a wall in the middle of the alleyway to stop them all. Not that they are in any rush to push past.
“Do we know where the shops will be?” Sonia mumbles as she finally disentangles her hand from Ibuki’s. Stepping forward but not quite crossing the line of actually stepping out of the alley. Instead leaning forward and resting her chin on Akane’s shoulder to get a better look at the streets beyond.
“It can’t be too hard to find, right?” Kazuichi mumbles but unlike the rest of them he’s not even looking out at the street. In fact he’s turned completely the other way. His back almost pressed against Hajime’s as he slowly backs down the corridor. Never taking his eyes off the other side of the alley.
He can’t say he disagrees. He’s seen his fair share of cities in his time but none quite like this. This looks almost…normal. At least what he assumes normal looks like. Not just normal but absolutely jam packed too.
While Towa was the only actual normal city left (until everything happened at least), it had never been this busy. At least not while he was there. The buildings might be a little worse for wear but looking at their neatly ironed clothes tells a whole different story.
It’s like stepping into a colony of ants. Everyone is scurrying along the streets. Shoulders pressed together as the jostle past each other, masks plastered over their faces. People standing at the sides of the streets with their wares laid out on the side of the street. There’s no fire. No looting. No viscous fighting. Just people getting about their day as if it was just a normal day in the office.
Looking at them he can’t even tell where they’re going but they certainly know at least. Not even looking at the people around them as they storm off to their destination. It makes him look stupid for considering the place they docked at busy at all.
There’s not a single doubt in his mind that any direction they go in will be some kind of store. It’s not like they’re exactly picky about what they get. At least he doesn’t need to wonder how Mitarai and Kazuma had been able to find so many shops that sold hair dye now. It all suddenly makes perfect sense.
Reaching the end of her rope, Ibuki skips right past them all. Ducking under Sonia and Akane’s outstretched hands to step right into the middle of the path. Only just avoiding getting shoulder checked by a grouchy looking woman holding a brief case.
“Come on! Ibuki can be class president and lead us all to the other side!” Ibuki beams but not an single one of them steps forward to follow her. Sighing she drops her shoulders and hunches over a little, “It’ll be fineeee! We’re disguised. As long as we look like we’re meant to be there it’ll be right as rain.”
He’s suddenly struck by just how dumb he was volunteering himself for this. Sure they might all be disguised but what about him? He can’t even say they didn’t warn him because they did. Multiple times. He just assumed it would feel different when he was stood here. Instead he stands there, dry swallowing as he drinks in the sight of hundreds, maybe even thousands, of people passing by him. Any one of them ready to stab him again. Even he’s not sure how many times he can get stabbed before it actually sticks.
This is all stupid. He asked for this. He can’t back down now. Not when Ibuki is doing her best puppy dog eyes. That shouldn’t work as well as it does.
Letting his head droop slightly, he pulls himself together, “Lead the way then.”
Ibuki’s grin makes it all worth it. Even plastered in make up with bleach blonde hair, it’s impossible to see anyone but Ibuki when she grins like that. A pure childlike joy overwhelming all her features.
Slotting into the crowd they begin to drift along with the tide. Doing their best to peek over the mass of heads bobbing past every second. Searching for any place that will suit their needs for now.
He feels Kazuichi’s lips pressing up to his ears before the man even speaks. His warmth breath fluttering uncomfortably against Hajime’s bare skin, “Is it just me or are people looking at us?”
He really wishes he could turn around and say it really was just Kazuichi being paranoid but if he did he would be lying. Although no one outright says anything, every time someone passes by them, they do a double take. Eyes raking over their faces each time. With every single look he can feel his palms getting slicker and slicker until he can feel his pulse right in the middle of his palm.
Immediately his mind jumps to the worse. Has the news already spread? Is his face plastered all over the town for everyone to pick out. Or maybe the make up and rushed dye job isn’t enough. Maybe the damage they’re already done to their own reputation is too bad. The damage running too deep.
He has to mentally chide himself. Refraining from actually slapping himself. In truth they probably just reek. Not to mention their gaunt pale faces - not that everyone here is the picture of hygiene and and nutrition underneath their masks.
Wait…masks?
Everything suddenly clicks together in one fell swoop.
Sonia ducks her head as she whispers conspicuously earning her a few more concerned looks from passers by, “It is most likely because we do not have masks…”
“Well how’re we meant ta get masks?”
Akane stands up on her tiptoes to peer about the place, only drawing more and more eyes. Hajime has to grip her upper arm and yank her down as he starts to pull everyone forwards. Searching for the nearest exit from the crowd. Throwing a few cautionary glances behind him to check Sonia, Kazuichi and Ibuki are still following along.
“Hmmmm…” Ibuki still manages to find time to hum sarcastically though, “A shop. Unless something has changed they won’t be falling from the sky.” Akane’s resulting sneer is more than appropriate if you ask him - not that anyone is.
Doing his best to block out their bickering, he zeroes his focus in on the side of the street. Searching the hanging signs for some kind of sign for a pharmacy, There has to be something amongst all this uselessness. Surely.
He’s never been more thankful for his improved eyesight as he is now as he catches sight of the lit up blue and yellow sign
It’s already too late though.
As he peers over his shoulder his heart almost explodes in his chest.
Sonia isn’t behind them any more. Her form almost lost completely in the swelling of the crowd. Disappearing behind the bustling backs of the passersby as she stops in the middle of the street on purpose. Turning to speak with a random person walking past.
His body moves faster than his brain. His heart dropping deep into the pits of his stomach as he races towards her. Still dragging Akane along like a rag doll.
“Excuse me, we are new to town and would like to purchase these masks. May you point us in the right direction?” He can’t grab Sonia’s arm quick enough. Dragging her away with lightening speed. Ignoring all her pleas as he tries to wrangle her as best he can. Once upon a time he had been somewhat perplexed about the need for child leads but they suddenly make complete and utter sense.
“Sonia, keep your voice down. You accent only draws attention.” He hisses through gritted teeth. Feigning a smile to all the onlookers who are now shuffling out of the way. Parting around them like they’re infected cargo or something, “Let’s just get inside.”
One hand is clutched around Akane’s upper arm, while the other digs tightly into Sonia’s. Yanking them to and fro like they’re misbehaving kids. Kazuma probably didn’t have to deal with all this when they came out.
At this point they can’t get out of the streets fast enough. Darting and weaving past people as they zero in on the pharmacy. Bit by bit the others begin to notice too. Suddenly speeding up as they eyes lock on. But no matter how much they speed up, he refuses to release his grip on Akane and Sonia. Only dropping their arms as they squish through the door into the pharmacy. Half shoving them through the door as he does so.
As the door closes behind them, he’s immediately struck by the cool rumbling of air conditioning running throughout the store. He didn’t think it was that warm before but as a shiver travels down his spine he allows his eyes to flutter closed for a moment. Breathing in the slightly stale air. They can’t get everything he supposes.
“That was exciting!” Ibuki begins to clap softly. Not even stopping when Kazuichi and Hajime give her synchronized exasperated sighs.
“Apologies I -”
Hajime holds up a finger to her lips, “Lets just be quiet for a little now.” He can’t quite suppress the edge to his voice but Sonia doesn’t let her expression drop at all.
“At least we can buy some masks now.” Kazuichi mumbles, looking around the room while trying to keep his head as still as possible. Hajime can’t quite figure out what he’s attempting because if it’s to be as subtle as possible it’s failing spectacularly.
“We need that cash money first.” Ibuki groans. Pulling at her cheeks until her lower eyelids are fully peeled back. Earning her a well deserved wince from Kazuichi and Sonia. Then, without any warning, she releases her face and snaps her fingers together. Eyes lighting up in a less than convincing way, “I wonder if anyone wants to listen to a busker. That always works.” She sets her hands on her hips. Overflowing with undeserved pride.
The last thing they need right now is to be singing in front of a crowd of people who most certainly know exactly what her singing voice sounds like. There couldn’t be a more obvious way to give away all their identities.
“I don’t - ”
He’s ready to shut her down but before he can Akane grabs Ibuki’s wrist and pulls Ibuki’s hand towards her. Keeping the palm facing up towards the ceiling as she presses a handful of coins and notes into Ibuki’s hand. From where he’s stood he can’t quite see exactly how much is there as Kazuichi is stood right in the way but it must be at least 10,000 yen.
At once Kazuichi and Ibuki’s mouths drop open. Both of them jumping straight to examining the money. Searching for any sign that it’s fake. Although he doubt either of them would even know what to look for when it comes to fake and real money.
“Where did you get that?!” Ibuki hisses, closing her fist like a lock box as tightly as she physically can. With the way she’s talking you would think it was some kind of controversial contraband or something instead of regular boring yen.
“Pickpocketed it.” Akane winks as she slings her arms behind her neck. Looking far too proud of herself as the all too familiar twinkle returns to her eyes.
“Can we not have this conversation in the middle of the shop?” He nudges them both as casually as he can. Sticking both his hands deep in his pockets, “Look just go and grab five masks.” He nods towards the cashier who has just looked up from her newspaper to examine the new group of customers on her doorstep.
Akane sighs but doesn’t complain as she follows Ibuki across the store. Steering well clear of the other girl as she skips along. Practically throwing herself onto the counter she begins asking for the masks. Akane sticking diligently at her side, slouched over a little looking a little too at home in a place like this.
Keeping his ears perked up, he begins to ‘absentmindedly’ wander around the store. Keeping his posture relaxed, shoulders slumped, as he weaves between the shelves. Subtly scanning the shelves for what he really came here for.
Okay, he did come for the masks, but it’s not like those couldn’t be found in any other store. Especially at a time like this when air pollution is worse than ever before. There is one thing he needs from here specifically though.
As the others keep the cashier busy he casually swipes a bottle of painkillers off the shelves. Slipping it deep into his pockets as Ibuki begins telling the cashier about some made up family they’re all here visiting. A little too casual and relaxed with her own voice given the circumstances but
Sonia and Kazuichi are both staring at him as he casually turns back around to continue his ‘aimless’ wandering. Thankfully they keep their lips sealed.
“Here ya go.” Akane dishes out the masks one by one before slipping on her own one. All of them gathered around as they fiddle around with the stiff material. Taking a second to wriggle around and get comfortable.
“She was nice. She wished Uncle Tanaka a speedy recovery.” Ibuki explains as she plays around for a little too long with her own mask. Twisting around the straps incessantly.
“That’s nice of her.” Hajime smiles warmly - pretending to listen to whatever made up tale she was spinning for the poor cashier, “Are we all ready to go now?” He looks around at them but they all just shrug casually. None of them sure what they’re even looking for in the first place. Going wherever the wind - or in this case, crowd - takes them.
With their masks up and ready, they slip back out the door ready to rejoin the swarming crowds. Bracing themselves for the onslaught. However more than the people, the first thing he’s hit by is the overwhelming thickness and heat of the air. It hadn’t seemed bad earlier - in fact it had actually been comfortable - but after the crisp air conditioning the air feels stifling now. Crushing around him tightly. Squeezing him for everything he’s worth.
Kazuichi wipes his brow but no one says a word until then door clatters closed behind them. This time they stick by the side of the walls. Shuffling along the edges of the crowd so they’re near the mini stalls that are propped up here and there. Dotted along the street like tumors that are growing off the sides of the businesses.
Akane and Ibuki lead the way, head tilted towards each other as they mumble about something that Hajime doesn’t even bother trying to listen into. From the corner of his eye he can see Akane strategically slip a thing or two off the stands as the parade past. All fresh fruit and veg which she delicately slides into the pouch in her hoodie.
Part of him is taken aback by the sheer slickness of her movements. Muscle memory taking over as she wanders by. The analytical movements feel almost out of character but he supposes it does make sense. Sort of anyway.
After a few minutes of walking down the street Kazuichi taps at his shoulder lightly, “What did you take that for?” He asks, nodding down to Hajime’s pocket where his hand is still shoved in.
He knew it was coming but he kind of hoped they would just let it slide for once. It’s not like he can just say, hey I was stabbed the other night and just needed something to take the edge off it. Instead he goes for the next best excuse, “Mikan is still pretty bashed up. Besides, it’s always handy to have about.”
“Oh, snap.” Sonia snaps her fingers, drawing a few cursory glances from the people around them, “I did not even think about that. Mikan will surely appreciate such a thing.”
“I hope so.”
Even if she doesn’t they’ll certainly get some use out of it.
~~~
09/06 - 13:45
“I forgot how nice fresh food was.” Mahiru mumbles, setting down her can. As she does so she draws up her legs, resting her head on her knees quietly.
They still hadn’t found bowls or plates that were worth going through the effort of collecting however while they had been gone, Peko and Fuyuhiko had found some clean water and set out on their mission to clean out all the old cans. Fashion the small metal containers into pseudo crockery. It might not be elegant but t’s functional at least. Anything which helps them avoid sharing cans is a win in his books. For once they can eat at their own pace. No longer needing to eat as hungry eyes glare holes into him.
“Fresh food is a requirement for a happy healthy life.” Nekomaru chuffs, taking another bite of the cold noodle dish they had managed to whip up.
He’s not wrong but there might still be a few other things in the way of them and that life other than fresh food. Bedding and shelter from the elements for one… Fresh food goes way further down on the list of problems - it’s the only one they have a chance of doing something about now though.
“Ooooh! We should make a little cooker. I’ve seen people make cans into little stoves before. Eating hot food would be amazing…” Ibuki sighs wistfully. Scraping at the bottom of the can as if it’s going to magically make food spawn. If only it was that easy.
“There’s no point going to all that effort. We won’t be here long enough.” Hiyoko grumbles. Her can is still sat by her side. Almost completely untouched. Nothing more than a few pecks missing from the top.
“She does make a…reasonable point.” Gundham growls from where he’s laying down on the ground. His beanie thrown over his face as if that’s going to do anything. It doesn’t even fully cover his eyes. No one dares to tell him how silly he looks though.
“It’s not like it would take up too much space.” Kazuma mumbles as they tap at their chin. Lost deep in thought.
“Eh? We’re leaving?” Ibuki looks around the room, her face scrunched up, “I thought Haji said we were staying for a bit.”
“Yeah, to recover or somethin’, right?” Akane frowns, rounding on him. Dragging everyone else along with her.
He stops in his tracks. Noodles still hanging half out of his mouth as they all sit there. Waiting impatiently. Judgy eyes never leaving him, “I…I just thought we should let our feet and bodies recover. I didn’t say we had to stay here.” Setting down he holds up his hands. Defending himself from the inevitable onslaught.
“So we’re leaving right.” Hiyoko growls, “The sooner we get real beds the better.” She crosses her arms. Twisting herself away from the others as much as possible.
“C’mon, it ain’t so bad here. Not now we have the disguises.” Akane winces apologetically in Mikan’s direction but the bruised girl simply flushes and buries her face in her arms. The tips of her ears still glowing brightly.
“I must admit, there are some benefits to having real food at our disposal.” Kazuma examines their empty can. Subtly eyeing up the selection of full cans around - even if they would never actually eat any of it. Taking stock of everything around them.
Crossing his arms, Nekomaru leans back, “Maybe giving ourselves some more time to make a real plan wouldn’t be a bad idea.”
Even Gundham is starting to come around to the idea, “This place does not constitute a viable fortress for us to lay our roots. City life is devoid of true joy or solace, however for now it is…acceptable.” At least as much as he can given the situation. He can’t say he feels differently though.
Compared to yesterday it feels like an entirely different vibe. Who knew all they need was some decent food and some sleep? Nothing seems as bad when you have food and shelter.
“We always rush into things. Perhaps while things are still comfortable here we should correct that.” Sonia nods along, feeding off the vibe only to be immediately torn down with a single word.
“Comfortable?!” Hiyoko snaps. Lurching forward towards Sonia as she clenches her jaw. Audibly grinding her teeth.
“You know that’s not -” Kazuichi tries to speak but he flinches back as Hiyoko screeches over him. It’s like she doesn’t even care that they could attract attention. Either that or she’s really reached the end of her rope. Completely unable to hold herself back anymore.
“Look at Mikan!” Hiyoko swings her finger around. Point straight at Mikan’s bright pink face before “Mitarai too. Do you still want to stay in this place? Huh?!”
“I…I…I…” Flinches back violently. His head hitting the back of the wall. The same part of his head which had been bleeding just a day or so ago.
Kazuma immediately flings a protective arm out in front of the two but there’s nothing they can do about this sort of attack. You can’t stop a verbal assault by merely standing in front of the target.
Getting emotional is fine, healthy even, but someone needs to draw a line. If no one else will then it falls to him. Mikan and Mitarai shouldn’t be dragged into this.
Hoping she still holds some kind of positive feelings towards him - no matter what they are - he turns to her and begins to call out. “Hiyoko -” But she doesn’t even let him finish his thought before she’s jumping right back in.
“No!” Hiyoko snaps, rounding on his with a red face. Teeth bared she hisses, “I’m done listening to you.” Venom drips from her every word. Biting down around him.
“Maybe you -” Mahiru reaches a tentative hand forward. Attempting to intertwine their fingers but Hiyoko yanks her hand away. Standing up violently. Kicking her can over in the blink of an eye. Not that she seems to notice in the slightest.
“You too! I’m not listening to all this.” She presses her hands against her ears. Childishly trying to block everything else out.
“To people who won’t do what you say?” Kazuma raises their eyebrow but that only makes the vein pop on her forehead.
“To people who have lost their minds!”
Slowly rising to his feet, Nagito tries to explain, “We’re just thinking about the big picture.” But that only makes her turn more and more red as she starts to snap her teeth. Descending deeper and deeper into madness.
Her voice hitches as she point past them all at the warehouse door. Unable to hide the shaking of her finger, “The people here want to kill us. They want to string up our guts and spit on our bodies. And we’re sleeping in a broken warehouse that doesn’t even have properly functioning walls. This is where you all want to stay. Not the other place that had beds and walls and where our lives weren’t in danger.”
“They’re not exactly wrong.” Teruteru chuffs as unhelpful as ever. He doesn’t have time to deal with both of them right now. They can handle Teruteru later - for now they need to something to de-escalate. He has no idea what to do though. Not when everything is boiling over like this.
But even that doesn’t earn Hiyoko’s approval, “No one cares what you have to say. Some of us want to stay alive.” She growls all high and mighty. Holding her head up high as if that gives her the moral high ground or something.
“We shouldn’t have left those places so quickly. We’re just trying to be more careful this time.” He tries to be reasonable but it’s useless. She’s too far gone at this point.
“I said I don’t want to hear from you.”
Akane doesn’t bother getting up, shaking her head disapprovingly, “Look, you’re scared. Ain’t gonna get anywhere yellin’ at us though. We’re just talkin’, nothin’ more.”
Akane isn’t wrong but it only makes Hiyoko’s breathing more and more erratic. Her chest rising and falling dramatically. Stuttering here and there as she struggles to suck in a breath.
“Why am I the only sane person?!” Hiyoko stares around at them with her wide bloodshot eyes. Spit has begun bubbling at the sides of her mouth. He hates to think what she would say if she could see herself now as they all see her. That might just be the last straw though.
“I….I don’t know why we’re all still here together anyway. Peko and Fuyuhiko only care about each other and will kill everyone else if they need to. Mikan is useless and almost got us all killed. Mitarai doesn’t even know us. I don’t even know why he’s here! Then there’s Teruteru who might as well be dead already. Not to mention the rest of you are completely useless.”
She points at each of them in turn as she calls out their names. Her accusatory finger casting a heavy shadow over each an every person.
Almost immediately, Mitarai curls in on himself. Drawing his legs up to his chest and burying his face between his knees. His arms pulled over his head top form a mini cage. Sealing him away.
Mikan doesn’t bother trying to hide her tears. Shaking uncontrollably as fat tears coat her cheeks. Making the dark bruises on her face shimmer and glint dangerously.
“Hiyoko! Even if you’re mad you can’t talk to people like that!” Kazuma chides her like that’s going to do anything at all.
“Why? Because you don’t like the truth?”
With every word he can feel the static rising and rising around him. Swelling up dangerously. Bubbling at his ears as his pulse begins to screech. He can feel each and every beat of his heart in his neck. The blood pulsating through him. Hot and loud.
“Because we’re in this together. Taking your anger out on us will just leave you alone.” He grits his teeth as he hisses. He just wishes she would listen but she’s in her own echo chamber. Only listening to the thoughts that bounce inside her head.
“I couldn’t care less. Mahiru is the only one of you cretins I care about anyway.” She crosses her arms. Closing her eyes and fully turning from them all.
“I do not believe Mahiru would want you to be acting like this…” Sonia takes a tentative step forward as she speaks. Barely even touching her foot to the ground before she flinches back.
“Don’t open your trashy mouth. Mahiru can speak for herself.”
“Please don’t argue.” Ibuki mumbles meekly. Her hands clasped over her ears as she buries her face deep between her knees.
“Maybe we should all calm down…” Nagito watches Ibuki as he begins to wave his hands downwards. Doing his best to calm the situation but everyone keeps shouting over him. Ignoring Ibuki and Nagito completely if they were even listening in the first place.
“Perhaps you should ask Mahiru then. However the wind tells a different to the story than the one the leaves your poisoned lips.” Gundham storms forward, standing between Sonia and Hiyoko. Aggressively nodding towards Mahiru who is still sat on the floor. Not even lifting her head to acknowledge the scene around her.
“What -?” Hiyoko prepares an argument but as soon as she catches sight of Mahiru in the corner of her eye, she grinds to a halt. Her voice catching ever so slightly. “M-Mahiru?”
“I just want to sleep…” That’s all Mahiru says. And then she turns her head away from Hiyoko. Closing her eyes. Shutting everything off. Shutting off everything around her.
And that’s the last straw.
Just like that they watch the camels back break.
“Whatever.” Hiyoko’s eyes begin to sparkle but she only twists her head away from them all so she can
“Hiyoko, stop this.” Hajime rushes forwards and stands right in front of Hiyoko. Preventing her from trying to block him out, “You’re angry but this isn’t how you handle this. You need to find a healthier way to vent your emotions instead of doing this every time.”
“Fuck off.” She tilts her head up. Fiery eyes meeting his own. Snarling and hissing as specks off spit fly from her mouth. Neither of those are enough to distract from the tear dripping off her cheek though, “I’m not staying here any longer.”
Before Hajime can do anything else, she shoves him aside. It’s only a weak shove and normally would do nothing but blind luck brings her hand slamming down on his abdomen. Crushing his fresh burn.
Searing pain ripples up his back. A white hot poker slammed deep into his spine. No matter how much he tries to command his body, he can do nothing but buckle over. Hunching over to shield the bubbling area of skin. Nails digging into the skin around the wound through his clothes.
Somewhere in the back of his mind he’s aware of Hiyoko darting past but everything is covered in white static now. Crackling burning deep inside his ears. The rough sound scratching at the inside of his skull. Ripping him apart. Everyone’s screams and cries are nothing more than echoes in the wind now. Meaningless as he hunches over, scrambling for the pain killers in his pocket.
“Ha…?” He can distantly hear someone mumbling something but he doesn’t bother even attempting to pay attention to it. Blocking everything else out as he falls to his knees, “H…..? Haj….? Izuru?” The voice is soft in his ear but he snaps up at once as if he had just been shocked. Pulled up by strings against his will.
“Huh?”
“You’re okay…” Nagito sighs deeply. A smile fluttering right back on his face.
Frowning, he blinks in an attempt to clear off the static that’s smothering everything. It does nothing though. All he can make out is Nagito crouched down at his side. Hands hovering around him but never quite touching him.
“I’m…I’m fine.” But even he doesn’t think his croaky groan is very convincing. It’s the best he can manage though…pathetic.
“Dude, what happened?” Akane asks, eyes wide as if he’s lost his mind or something.
“I think she hit a pressure point or something. My vision went all weird.” He pushes the heels of his palm into his temples on both sides. Crushing his head between them but even that does nothing to clear up his vision.
“I’ll take him to the bathroom to sit down.” Nagito offers a muffled explanation as a hand comes swimming into Hajime’s blurry field of vision.
He doesn’t waste a second before reaching forward and taking the hand. Wobbling pathetically as he stumbles forward. Almost falling flat on his face but Nagito wraps an arm under his. Supporting Hajime’s weight as best as he can. His metal hand scratching against the arm that’s now slung over Nagito’s shoulder. Normally he would hate the sharp painful feeling but right now it’s welcome if not pleasant.
Shuffling over, half dragging his legs, they eventually make it to the bathroom. Nagito gently setting him on closed toilet before turning around and lightly closing the door. Making sure it fully clicks shut before he turns back to Hajime.
However as soon as he turns back his smile is gone. Poof like smoke. With his vision like this he could almost be convinced that he had simply imagined the smile in the first place but as the static spots finally begin to clear away, that doubt begins to vanish. His features sharp and cold as he studies Hajime’s face.
“What actually happened there?” His voice is low. Deep and almost rumbling as he leans in closer and closer. Cutting right to the point.
If he had more energy he might argue back. Put on a show. Do something. Instead he slumps back against the back of the toilet. Tingling hand fumbling around in search of his pocket. Relieved when he finally finds the smooth bottle as he grabs three or four pills and dry swallows them. Grateful for the rough way they scratch against his dry throat.
“I know you might not want to talk to someone like me but they can’t help you if they don’t know.” Nagito’s gaze softens for a split second. Something else slipping through. Worry…?
“It’s…” His voice crackles against his rough throat but he does his best to keep his voice low, “It’s not about you…” He sighs but Nagito’s expression doesn’t falter in the slightest. His stony face revealing nothing. It’s like he refuses to even entertain the thought.
If he put his foot down he doubts Nagito would stop him. He might be stubborn but he would never be able to truly stand in the way of any of them. Not in the way he needs to to be effective with his knowledge.
However, instead of doing that he simply pulls up his shirt. Revealing the bloody oozing wound festering beneath. It’s not like Nagito didn’t already know. He’s just putting all the cards on the table. At least that’s what he tells himself.
“It…” Nagito’s voice trails off as his flesh hand reaches forward towards the wound. Pulling back at the last second as Hajime’s stomach rises and falls unevenly.
“Stabbed with some glass.” He pants slightly, craning his neck to peek at the wound for a second only to pull back. Wincing at the raw sight of the inflamed skin.
“The people in the alley?” Hajime simply nods weakly, dropping his head back again and sinking against the toilet. Although he releases the shirt it doesn’t fully drop down. Catching slightly to allow a soft breeze to drift across his abdomen. It might even be pleasant if it didn’t sear with pain at every small gust brushing across it.
“We need to get Mikan.” Nagito immediately tries to get up but Hajime comes to his senses just in time to grab him by the wrist. The metal edges digging into the palm of his hand a little. Yanking him right back so they’re face to face. He sits there, holding himself up by Nagito’s arm. If he really wanted Nagito could detach is arm and keep leaving but he’s a deer in the headlights. Still as stone.
“If you tell her she’ll feel guilty. She was the one they spotted after all. She doesn’t need that.”
Through the slowly subsiding pain, all he can see is her beaten face. Dark purple bruises that have only just begun fading ever so slightly. Barely even beginning their healing journey. The way her legs had been littered with cuts and welts. Marks of surviving. Seeing him injured would be worse than every single one of those marks. At least in her mind. The last thing they can do is tell her.
“I’ll get some antibiotics tomorrow. I was going to today but I was worried about getting caught if I pushed my luck stealing more.” He hopes he sounds more convincing out loud than he does in his own mind.
Slowly, millimeter by millimeter, Nagito begins turning around. Twisting away from the door until he’s fully face to face with Hajime once more. Meeting his eyes with a steely gaze.
“Okay.” As he relents, Hajime lets out a loud sigh, “But will you let me wrap the wound? I… You need to look after yourself.”
Having gotten away with his last request, he doesn’t push his luck anymore. Nodding solemnly and lifting his shirt once again as Nagito gets to work. Ripping up the bottom of his t-shirt to make a poor facsimile of real bandages. He hates to think of what Mikan would see if she could see this. But even if the bandages themselves are poor, Nagito makes up for it by tying it up securely. Firm but comfortable enough. They even stay secure as he hobbles to his feet. Doing his best to stand without relying on Nagito once again.
“There.” Nagito finally smiles, wiping down his hands jovially, “Let me know if you need it retied.”
He doesn’t even need to think about it before he nods. Sealing the pact between them both as they step back out into the main room.
~~~
09/06 - 21:34
Huddling together, they all quietly murmur to each other. Poorly pretending they all aren’t watching the door. Waiting for Hiyoko to storm back through. Hopefully calmer and more put together than she had been when she left.
However the sun set and the door remains firmly closed. There isn’t even a creak to hint at the other girls presence. Just the distant sound of voices bouncing through narrow alleyways.
Surely she would have come back by now? It’s not like it was a simple argument but even Hiyoko wouldn’t want to be alone right now. Not out there. Not without Mahiru. Yet she’s no where to be seen. Could she have gotten lost? Or…?
Examining the room, his eyes fall on Mahiru. Not just him. She must have a million eyes piercing into her but she keep her head bowed. Ducked between her knees. Completely shrouding her face in an impenetrable shadow.
Since Hiyoko vanished she’s been silent. Refusing to say a single thing. Shrugging Ibuki and Sonia off every time they try to rest a hand on her back to comfort her. She just presses further and further into the wall behind her. It’s like she’s trying to merge into the wood itself. Slipping away and vanishing into nothing.
Ever since darkness has fallen, Ibuki has been pacing back and forth. Her footsteps louder than the soft murmuring of everyone else in the room. The soft clacking of her feet like the ticking of a clock. Reminding them of every second slipping away.
None of them are surprised when she suddenly begin tapping her feet on the ground. Her voice hitching awkwardly, “We should go out and find her…”
Tell them something new… He grumbles in his own head. They should have immediately gone after her. Dragged her back before she hurt herself or got into trouble. He doesn’t care what she said or how she acted, this feels wrong.
He has to fight against the tide of memories with every passing second. Trying not to think about the girl that had come to him crying. The same girl is out there now. Alone again. Her fault again, he quickly reminds himself but it only leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.
“We can’t exactly drag her back here. If she doesn’t want to be here it would be cruel. No one can be forced to stay on a team.” Nekomaru groans exasperatedly. Closing his eyes as he slumps over. Subtly tilting his head to avoid catching the glimpse of Ibuki.
“This is not exactly the same as a sports team though…” Sonia mumbles as she pulls at her own nails. Picking at them diligently.
Something is building deep below everything else. Bubbling away dangerously. Rising with every passing second. A rumbling slowly shaking the foundations as people begin itching. Torn between the two halves.
Kazuma is the first one to take a stand though. Lifting their head up to stare at Ibuki as she towers over them. Still tapping her foot rhythmically. A drum beat rallying the troops. Calling them all to action.
“They’re right. We know how dangerous this place can be at night. At least for us.”
Kazuichi bites down on his bottom lip, “What if they have already found her and killed her?!” They would all be lying if they said it wasn’t exactly what they were all thinking. Dreading. Imagining.
“K-K-Killed her?!” Mikan trembles violently. Her hand drifting to her bruised wrist. Cradling it to her chest.
Sighing he runs a hand down his face. Stumbling to his feet. Pressing his free hand against the wall to steady himself. Pretending not to notice the way Nagito twitches, only just stopping himself rushing to Hajime’s side, “Kazuichi, don’t scare everyone.”
“We’d be lying if we said it couldn’t happen…” Teruteru laughs but there’s nothing humorous in his voice. It’s still not helping anyone. What are they supposed to say to that? Are they supposed to just give up and write her off. Maybe that is what they want to do.
“But there’s no point in getting in a panic about it right now.” Hajime holds back a growl as he sways in place. The hand that’s pressed to the wall curling into a fist. Knuckles digging into the rough wooden surface. A single splinter breaking off and digging into the rough skin of his knuckles.
“Hajime’s right. We won’t get anywhere panicking. Statistically she’s most likely still fine.” Nagito only gets himself a few groans with that though.
“I don’t think we want to put all our hope in statistics. Not in a place like this.” Fuyuhiko clenches his jaw as he growls. Lifting his head just enough to stare at the door. Willing it open unsuccessfully.
“If something -” Peko barely squeezes a word out before she’s cut off. A cold voice ringing through the warehouse. Bouncing off the fragile walls. Slicing through everyone else movements until they have all fallen still and silently.
“Something? Like what? Like she’s had her head beaten in?” Mahiru’s eyes are sharp. Bright in the inky darkness.
It’s the first time they’ve seen her face in hours but her cheeks aren’t wet. Her eyes aren’t even bloodshot. Unlike the usually peaceful stillness of her face, she’s not crumpled up. Face twisted and distorted. Wrath etched into every crevice. Her blade sharper than any of Peko’s swords. Lethal.
“I -” Peko opens her mouth for a moment but thinks better of it almost immediately. Turning her head to the side and shuffling closer and closer to Fuyuhiko. Squishing up until they are practically merged into one. Her body separating Mahiru and Fuyuhiko even with meters of distance between them and her. Ever the immovable wall.
“This is not the time for this. Your friend is out on the streets alone with people who will want to kill her if they figure out who she is.” Kazuma looks between both parties with eyes sharp as daggers. Putting their foot down with almost too much ease, “I understand how…difficult, a situation like this is but we need to focus on what’s important.”
“I’m not waiting any more. I’m going to look for her.” Ibuki turns on her heel and begins to sprint off but that’s not what makes him stiffen. No, the thing that freezes his blood is the tone of her voice. She sounds like an entirely different person. Any hint of her light bubbly voice is completely gone. Nothing but stern seriousness is left in it’s place. Cold determination filling her from head to toe. It’s like she’s lost in her own world. Single minded.
Without waiting for, or even listening to, anyone else she makes a break for the entrance. Running at full speed and flinging the door open.
She’s not alone though, “I will come with you.” Sonia follows hot on her heels. Neither of them bothering to close the door behind them as they go careening out into the darkness.
“Wait -!” Kazuma tries to call after them but it’s pointless. They’re already swallowed by the night before they can get up.
Before anyone else can rush out, Hajime dashes forward as fast as he can given his current state. Adrenaline keeping him moving without hobbling or doubling over in pain. Standing between the door and the crowd of people. Creating a weak looking wall with his arms stretched out either side of him as people begin getting to their feet.
Almost everyone is up, ready to sprint at a moments notice. Only Mahiru, Teruteru, Nagito, Peko and Fuyuhiko remain fully seated on the ground. Unmoving and unflinching.
“Stop!” He calls out as loudly as he dares at this time of night, “We need to take a moment and think. Running out there mindlessly is only going to create more issues. We’d just be putting ourselves in danger. Ibuki and Sonia might be gone but the rest of us need to stay here where we’re safe. If Hiyoko is okay then this is where she’d come back to. We can’t abandon it.” He puts his foot down. Crossing his fingers in a silent prayer.
“Hajime’s right. Rushing out there would be reckless.” Nekomaru backs him up but his head droops anyway. Staring down at his feet instead of holding his head up high.
“We can’t leave her though…” Mitarai mumbles, scratching at his arm softly as he shrinks down on himself more and more.
“R-Ryota is r-right.” Mikan nods fervently, “Sh-She might n-need m-medical help…”
Unsurprisingly, Kazuma is the one to step forwards. Always right there when they need him. A stable rock amongst the tumultuous waves, “How about Ryota and myself go?”
Mitarai flinches at the suggestion but doesn’t voice a complaint. In fact he simply hold his head up higher. His body shaking a little as he sucks in a deep breath. Biting down in the inside of his cheek.
“On your own? What if you get in trouble?” Fuyuhiko finally stands up, his shadow following right after him. Gripping at her sword.
“Yeah, we ain’t lettin’ you get hurt.” Akane clenches her jaw. Refusing to back down.
“We’re the only one who…who won’t be attacked or…noticed." Mitarai shakes as he speaks, looking up at Kazuma the entire time but he stays firm. Pushing right through.
“It makes sense. If anyone goes it should be them. I wish I could be more help…” Nagito mumbles. Tracing a circle on the top of his knee.
“I could converse with the winged hell beasts that stalk the night. If they locate our missing classmate they will be sure to lead us to her.” Gundham pitches in.
Where was this suggestion hours ago? He doesn’t say a thing out loud though. Just offering a gracious nod of the head.
“That sounds like the only way this will work…” Kazuichi’s words sound encouraging but he just sounds deflated. Resigned before they’ve started.
He wishes he could say he doesn’t understand why but then he would be lying. He refuses to let his mind think that thought though. Shutting all the negativity down as fast as possible.
People begin shuffling into position. Mitarai and Kazuma organizing bags. Filling up on supplies - both medical and food. Even just doing that feels like giving up but he forces a jolly face. One of confidence and security.
However as he approaches Kazuma’s side, he grabs their shoulder and forces them to meet his eyes, “Make sure you come right back if anything happens though.”
He doesn’t want to think about what they would do if Mitarai and Kazuma disappeared too. Their group already feels so small. Chips slowly being carved off. Whittled down into nothing and they’ve barely gotten started. It’s like this
“Very well… We will ensure we come back with her.” It might as well have just bounced off Kazuma. It’s not like they internalized a single word. What else can he say though? All he can do is wish them luck.
“We promise.” Mitarai’s words are heavy but they’re not the words he wants to be hearing right now. It’s too late for that though.
And just like that Kazuma and Mitarai turn and leave too. Mitarai wobbling slightly as he walks but still pushing forwards diligently. Gundham following after them but he stops at the doorway. Watching the others vanish before calling upon some nearby crows. Allowing them to perch on his arm as he brushes their shimmering feathers. Whispering his request before they flap off, blending into the night sky.
Hiyoko…
Where is she?
If she’s in danger. No, he refuses to even think it.
She’ll be fine. She’ll be fine. She’ll be…fine.
Chapter 47: 10th of June
Summary:
Hajime and the others wait quietly for their friends to return
Chapter Text
10/06 - 06:05
No one sleeps that night. They don’t even put on a show of it. They do their best to keep up the flow of conversation but there’s only so much you can force.
Even if he wanted to sleep he doubts he would be able to. His head splitting open with a throbbing headache which is only matched by the throbbing of his abdomen. Nagito’s eyes digging into the back of his skull doesn’t help. Every second is a battle against the urge to sneak a few more painkillers but if he constantly relies on them he isn’t going to improve his pain tolerance in the slightest. He’s not sure he can deal with becoming addicted to painkillers right about now. He already has enough to deal with.
Gritting his teeth he simply leans his head back and watches the open door as it wobbles in the breeze slightly. Logically they know they should probably close it but not a single one makes a move. He would be lying if he said the gentle breeze blowing through the rickety building wasn’t somewhat pleasant, however the real reason no one moves to close the door is just beyond the doors themselves.
Resting against the outer wall is Gundham and Nekomaru. He can’t see exactly what they’re doing and the soft murmuring of the breeze covers the sound of their words but he can see their shadows through the cracks in the walls. Neither of them showing the slightest sign of coming in even as the sun begins to rise.
While it had still been dark he had been able to write off his concern but now… It’s harder to untangle the knot that is his stomach when the sun rays are beaming down on the empty warehouse. Illuminating the gaps amongst their ranks.
They put preparation of food off for as long as possible. Waiting, hoping, for someone to walk straight through that door. It’s a hopeless endeavor though. At the very least he thought Kazuma and Mitarai would have been back by now but there isn’t the slightest sign of anyone. Eventually they have to begin putting together some food for ‘breakfast’ - if for no other reason than to keep Kazuichi and Mikan busy as they they patter about the place. Pacing until everyone has lost their minds.
As Kazuichi gathers up the ingredients he sends Mikan off around the group. Like a waitress taking their orders she moves from person to person. Stumbling through the same question that could just as easily be asked once to the entire group. Even though their numbers have been diminished, they’re more spread out than ever before. Dispersed in every corner forcing Mikan to shuffle about awkwardly.
“D-Do you want f-food too M-Mahiru?” Mikan asks timidly as she scuttles towards Mahiru who is still slumped at the side of the room. Completely unmoving from where she had been the night before. The only thing that hints that she’s still alive is the soft rising and falling of her shoulders as she’s slumped into her knees.
Silence.
“O-Oh, okay…” Mikan scratches at her arm, her bottom lip trembling as she disappears off again. Nails digging into her pale skin and causing bright red lines to streak along her skin.
No matter how Mahiru is feeling, the whole interaction leaves a sour taste in his mouth. She’s been…off since waking up but the last few days just feel different somehow. Was this what Hiyoko had meant back then?
Acting on impulse he shifts to get up and step in but as soon as he does a numbness rings through his body again. Knocking him off balance immediately. It takes everything has to hold himself upright to avoid falling over like an idiot.
Just when he thought the searing had died down this happens. He’s never felt more useless. It’s pathetic really.
While he’s still useless on the floor, Kazuichi swoops in. Taking Mikan softly by the arm and leading her over to the food. Rubbing a soothing hand on her back he talks her through the ‘cooking’ process. She does her best to pay attention but it might as well be going straight back out of her head. Her arms raw and red which fits her entire vibe right about now.
Hajime is pretty sure a few tears fall in the food as she works but he keeps his mouth closed anyway. Zipping up as Kazuichi slowly talks her through the process for cooking.
As he waits for the food to be prepared, he presses the heel of his hand against his abdomen. Feeling the warmth radiating through his shirt itself. Bracing himself and gritting his teeth as hard as he can, he curls his hand into the dirt below and pushes himself upright. Letting his legs wobble awkwardly under his weight.
For a second people glance his direction as he begins to meander across the room to the bathroom, but as quickly as they look over they lose interest. Their gaze drifting once more to their own little bubbles. Only one person follows his movements but he pretends he doesn’t notice. Blocking everything else out until the door is firmly locked behind him.
He half expects to hear Nagito knocking on the door as he leans his entire weight against it but nothing.
It could just be him but he could swear it’s looking better than yesterday. Or maybe the lighting is just better now, taking the edge off it a little. Or at least mellowing out some of the redness. Perhaps he’s just deluding himself but it’s better than the alternative…
With a shaky hand he reaches to grab a few more pills. Tossing them back as quick as he can and swallowing dry. His throat burning but at least it’s a distraction from the aching cutting through his torso. A heavy pulsating swallowing his mind as he bites down hard. Hissing through clenched teeth.
He knows he can’t stay in here forever - especially if he wants to avoid drawing attention to himself. Tearing his eyes away from his stomach he drops his shirt once more. Wincing as the material drags on the still puffy skin as he bites down harder still on his tongue. The sharp metallic taste swarming his tongue for a split second. Drowning all other sensations out.
It takes more than a few tries to make himself stand once more. Hot flushes crashing over him like the incoming tide. The only positive thing is that he manages to avoid falling and making a loud noise… Oh how his standards have fallen…
By the time he manages to step out a whole line of cans have been prepared. 16. All of them just sitting there as Kazuichi and Mikan over look their work. Kazuichi grins as he sets his hands on his hips while Mikan simply bows apologetically. Whimpering as she tries against all odds to force something resembling a smile even if it looks more like a grimace.
Nevertheless they each grab a can and shuffle over to their respective spots. Eating in silence like prisoners in the yard instead of friends sharing a meal. The silence between them larger than the room itself.
“Well this is depressing.” Hajime sighs, dropping his now empty can to the side as he leans back. Looking at all the untouched cans lined up at the side only makes his stomach twist more.
“I’m sure it will be fine. It’s a big city it’s not easy to search it all.” Nekomaru speaks with such certainty. If he didn’t know better then he might even be convinced the other man believes it. But the taut pull of his lips tells a different story.
“I have not heard word from the dark hell beasts yet. This is an ominous portent.” Gundham hasn’t touched his food yet. Leaving it to one side as he broods at the edge of the group. No Sonia left to sit by his side this time.
They might be able to explain away the disappearance of Hiyoko, Ibuki, Sonia, Kazuma, and Mitarai but when even Gundham has been unsuccessful it feels entirely different. Like a rope slowly curling tighter and tighter around them. A noose closing closer and closer around the skin of their necks.
“None of your birds have come back?” Peko asks, tilting her head to one side.
“They are too powerful to be defeated in the heat of battle, but the wind has not carried them back yet.”
“We made sure we didn’t miss them.” Nekomaru almost sounds defensive. Reassuring them with a strong and determined tone. Refusing to back down.
“I-It’s m-my f-fault.” Mikan can barely even finish one word before another wet sob shakes her voice. Interweaving between every word.
“Your fault? What do you mean?” Kazuichi scrunches up his nose like it’s the most baffling thing he’s ever heard. Hajime has to hold back the urge to face palm at the sound of it. Tact isn’t exactly what he’s known for though so they shouldn’t be surprised.
“Kazuichi -” He holds a hand up but Mikan is already squealing. Her entire body wracked with sobs as she shakes like a bobble head. Unable to control her own body.
“I…I…I…I…”
“You heard what Hiyoko was yellin’ yesterday.” Akane punches Kazuichi hard. Almost knocking him over with the force alone. He has to stumble, throwing his arms out either side of him to stand the slightest chance of stabilising himself at all.
“Sorry…”
“Ha feeble one. You have not the power to manipulate their minds or actions. You are no puppet master. Do not give yourself such credit!” Even though he can understand the intentions behind what Gundham is saying, it might not be having quite the execution he was hoping for.
He had thought she was sobbing before but clearly he was wrong. If that was sobbing he has no idea what this is now. A tsunami blowing past her. Almost knocking her aside.
“H-Hiyoko l-left b-because sh-she h-hated m-me. N-Now sh-she is d-dead.”
“Dead?!” Nekomaru’s jaw drops at once. Waving his hands frantically in front of him.
“That might be going a little too far…” He sighs as he shakes his own head.
How quickly things can completely spiral out of control. It’s like they never actually learn from their mistakes. Simply going round and round the downward spiral. Sometimes it really does feel like they’re trapped in a ground hogs day. Doomed to the same results every time.
Their words do nothing to settle the sobs wracking her body though. It’s not like she’s listening. She’s not even pretending to.
Only as Nagito steps up, grabbing her hands in his own to anchor her down, does she snap out of her daze. Guided back to the shore. Or as close as they can get, “You’re wrong.”
“Huh?”
“Well, Hiyoko might have her problems with you but she didn’t leave because of you. If she had she would have left a long time ago.” They all hold their breaths at that. Unable to disagree with his words.
“D-Do y-you m-mean it?”
“I wouldn’t lie to someone like you.”
Although her breathing is still erratic, her frantic sobs settle slightly. Quieting down until their nothing more than stilted breaths. But even when she stops she doesn’t bother scrubbing the tears from her cheeks. Leaving them on the like a badge.
“He’s right. She was just scared. Everyone is. Someone just needs to teach her how to handle emotions better.” He mumbles, trying to scratch the images of Hiyoko from his mind.
It’s not like it’s the first time she’s flown off the handle from her emotions. He’s well aware that none of them are exactly the picture of mental health but hers are more blatant than most. Certainly more…explosive if nothing else. Yet they haven’t exactly gotten any better at handling it all in the time they’ve known her.
“Many things need to be taught to her.” Gundham sighs with a dejected shake of his head. Letting the sigh ripple through his whole body.
“We’ll beat some sense in’ta her when she’s back here.” Akane winks cheekily. Somehow more energetic than the lot of them despite everything.
Thinking about Akane, his eyes begin to roam around the room. Searching out for the gaunt face of Teruteru but…
His heart drops out of his chest once again.
Is he going blind?
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. Nine. There are only nine people here (not including himself.
Whipping around as fast as he can he examines the bathroom but the door is still wide open. Not the slightest hint of the cook anywhere to be seen.
“Wait, where’s Teruteru?” Hajime asks wide eyed. His heart jumping in his throat.
How can he drop off the side of the earth? How could Hajime not have noticed?! How long has it been?
With the most nonchalant voice possible, Fuyuhiko simply sighs, “He left.”
“What?!” His brain short circuits at once. What the actual fuck? “What do you mean he left?”
In a desperate attempt to convince himself he’s not insane, he looks around the room. Searching everyone’s faces for the slightest hint. Breathing in a sigh of relief as the others match his expression perfectly. It’s not just him losing it then.
“He slipped out of the door while Kazuichi and Mikan were cooking. When you were in the bathroom.” Fuyuhiko nods towards the door.
That was ages ago now. How could they have just kept that quiet?! It’s not like there was no chance to explain what happened but they simply left that out of the conversation completely. He’s never wanted to throttle someone so much.
“Eeeek! M-Maybe he j-just went to the t-toilet in the a-alley way because H-Hajime was using it.” Mikan squeals, biting down on her lip as hard as possible.
If only that was the case. Not a single person in this room believes that for a second though. No matter how much they might want to.
Akane breathes out through her nose slowly. Letting her body rumbles along with the words, “Nah, he’s gone.”
It’s not like it’s the most shocking thing in the world. If anyone was going to break off and vanish it would be Teruteru even more so than Hiyoko. But he had always imagined it with a little more…fanfare. Not a casual drop in within another conversation.
It’s not just him feeling that way though, “Just like that?” Kazuichi mumbles. His voice empty. Hollowed out completely. A shell of itself.
“Let’s not pretend we don’t all understand why he would leave.”
“Perhaps it would be best if you did not loosen your lips.” Gundham snarls at Fuyuhiko. Holding a commanding hand out in front of Fuyuhiko. A giant stop sign straight in his personal space.
Understanding is one thing but agreeing is something entirely different. It’s not like he wants to drag people along with him but this place just doesn’t feel like the best place to fall apart. Certainly not like this.
How are they supposed to know if everyone is alive, let alone well? Could they really live the rest of their lives never knowing what happened. Never being sure if their friends are even alive or if they’ve been gutted in an alleyway. Left to bleed out alone and in pain.
“Leaving on their own won’t end well…” Nagito shakes his head somberly. Lips pressed tight as his skin pales further and further.
Growling, Hajime storms towards Fuyuhiko. Powering through the searing pain. Letting it fuel him on as he towers over him and Peko. Staring them down with a cold hard look. Digging into the depths of their souls, “Why didn’t you stop him?”
If no one else in the room noticed they can’t have put up much of a fight at all. Did they even say a single word? Or did they just watch him stumble away. Slipping off without so much as a parting goodbye. A cursory glance at the backpacks in the corner is all he needs to know the boy didn’t even bother bringing his bag with him. Stumbling out onto the deadly streets completely bare and unprepared.
And Peko and Fuyuhiko allowed this.
This was fine in their eyes?!
“He’s been wanting to leave for ages. We could all see it. Hiyoko just gave him the courage to go through with it.”
“You sound almost like…” Nekomaru narrows his eyes. His words trailing off. No one wanting to finish their sentence.
No one except Peko anyway, “It is time for us to depart too.” Even Fuyuhiko ducks his head away as she speaks. Refusing to catch the slightest glimpse of them. Unwilling to face the people they would be leaving behind?
“Why would you leave like that?!” Kazuichi stumbles back ever so slightly. His brow furrowing like he’s nothing more than a wounded puppy.
“Hiyoko didn’t handle it all well but she’s right. There’s no reason for us to stay together.”
“So you’re runnin’ away?” Akane bites back hard. Anger replacing all of Kazuichi hurt.
“We’re not -”
“You’re abandoning us too.” Kazuichi snarls. All of them flinch back as he holds an accusatory finger out. Pointing it straight at the pair of them. Bringing a spotlight down upon their stiff forms.
But worse than both of those is Mikan’s broken sobs as she finally rubs at her eyes. It’s too little too late though as the damn breaks once more. He’s honestly impressed she even has enough tears left for that in the first place, “D-Did I do s-something wrong?”
Fuyuhiko reaches a hand up and bats Kazuichi hand away. Knocking it down to Kazuichi’s side, “It’s not something you guys did. It just doesn’t make sense to force ourselves together. I…” His voice cracks for a moment but he pushes straight through. Crushing any hint of breaking under the heel of his boot, “I care about all of you. More than you know. But we only draw attention like this. If we really want to mix in with society and live new lives then we need to go at it alone.”
The idea sounds contradictory. Two ideas crudely tossed together into an ugly mismatch. It’s like he’s only looking for negatives. Unable to see anything other than the limited world view he allows himself to see.
“Is this your hope?” Nagito cocks his head to one side from where he sits. Not bothering to make his way the short way across the room to Fuyuhiko and Peko’s side like almost everyone else. His voice oddly still. Quiet almost.
“Yes.”
“Fuyuhiko… Peko…” Hajime grits his teeth harder as he looks between them both. Shaking his head softly, “I can’t stop you - no, I won’t stop you if this is what you want. But don’t pretend you’re doing this for us or for logic. Sure we stand out together but we also have people to back us up together. You won’t get that anywhere else.”
It’s not what he wants to say. Not at all. He wants to grab Fuyuhiko by the shoulders and drag him back. He wants to scream. To yell. To do something. Anything. But it’s all meaningless. Why is he trying in the first place when it’s all so clearly a waste?
Subconsciously his hand reaches down into his pocket. Snaking down until he can feel the smooth USB stick in his pocket.
The promise he’d made to Makoto feels like a million years ago even though it can’t have even been two weeks ago. With the way things are going it’ll just be him and Alter Ego left eventually. Everyone disappearing in smoke. Fluttering away on the harsh winds.
“We’ve made up our mind.”
Those words are like the final nail in the coffin. Sealing it all. Too resolute to even be pried free. How long have they been plotting this? A day? Two? More? It’s impossible to even know. Maybe they never intended to stick around at all.
With that he simply walks away, turning his back on them both. Stalking across the room as fast as he can. Releasing the USB stick to clutch at the pin instead. Letting it dig harshly into the palm of his hand. Yet even with that his hand still manages to feel numb. A tingle itching across the skin like daggers digging in hard. It’s almost as if his mind has been fully cut free to float up, up, up, and away.
Akane chases after him at once. Her hand reaching forward to tug at his sleeve but he knocks her hand away smoothly, “You’re just lettin’ them walk away?”
What do they want him to do? Chain everyone down? Screw it, they can do it themselves if they want it done, “It’s their choice. I’m just tired of trying to keep people together when it’s doomed to failure.”
And that’s what he does. He lets them just walk out. Sweeping up their backpacks and stumbling away. Not even looking back. Not a single goodbye exchanged. Just the hard silence between them.
Hajime doesn’t dare turn around and look as they vanish. Listening to their footsteps trickle away instead. Holding onto the pin tighter and tighter. Only stopping just short of actually cracking it in his hand.
He doesn’t want to think about what Chiaki would say if she was seeing this. Where was the boy who had told them they could be brothers. Bonded for life. Maybe he was just stupid to think those words would still mean anything after everything that had gone down in that time. He said those words to the Hajime in there…out here things are just different. It was foolish to think any different…
“It’s only doomed when you let yourself believe it.” Nekomaru tries to be encouraging but it only makes his blood boil more. Sickening him to his very core.
Kazuichi slumps down, clutching his head in his hands. His fingers knotting deep into his hair to tug at it violently, “So they’re just going to walk off…Everyone is disappearing.”
“They made their choice. It’s time for us to make ours.” He finally releases the pin. Letting it drop into the recesses of his pocket as he lifts his hand out once more. Tightening it back into a fist as he crosses the room towards where Mahiru is still hunched over. Even all of that isn’t enough to deign so much as a glance.
With a firm hand he grips the edge of her sleeve and pulls her arm free of her tight cradle, “Time to get up Mahiru.”
He’s had enough of being useless. This isn’t how this is all going to go.
“H-Hey.” She stutters but does very little to break free of Hajime’s grip as he pulls her up to a standing position. Forcing her to face them all for the first time since everything went down.
She needs to hear this. No more hiding away.
“Look I don’t know what has been going on with you. I don’t pretend to know how your feeling but our friends are out there looking for Hiyoko.” His finger points out at the wide world beyond. The darkness their friends have been swallowed up in, “I don’t know if you care about her at all but if any part of you does then you’ll help us look for her. If she still wants to go after we’ve spoken then she can make her choice but she should at least make that choice in her right mind. Do you agree?”
He’s not sure what he’s expecting. screaming. Shouting. Instead she just tilts her head up towards him. Her mouth falling open for a moment before she thinks better and snaps it closed. The slightest hint of water sparkling in her eyes.
If anyone stands the slightest chance of helping Hiyoko see straight it’s Mahiru. It might not be fair to put this on her but if no one else can come up with a better solution then it’s the best they have.
However much to his surprise, instead of arguing or flat out refusing she simply mumbles, “I… I will help you find her.”
“That’s more like it.” He carefully releases his hold on her sleeve, brushing her sleeves down awkwardly, “Come on. Lets go and find our friends.”
~~~
10/09 - 07:07
In spite of his reservations last night, things were different now. Besides, it’s the day now. What could go wrong...? You know…besides all the obvious…
Even still they can’t leave the place entirely unmanned. Mikan and Gundham remain in the warehouse, holding down the fort as best as they can. Gundham watching out for any of his surveyors as Mikan sob in the corner.
She did try her best to argue her way into coming and being useful but her will might as well be paper. They do their best to comfort her but there’s only so much they can do before they leave her to Gundham. Hoping in vain that he’ll be able to something to calm her down.
Despite his better judgement, they divide up their measly team of six once more. Nekomaru and Akane sweeping up Mahiru without a seconds though as they march her off deeper down the alleyways. Striding with an unearned confidence in a random direction. Neither him nor Nagito or Kazuichi waste their energy to try and argue with them. It’s not like any of them know where to go in the first place so they’re not exactly any better off.
It sound nice and simple to ‘go find them’ but it’s easier said than done. He’s not even sure where they should be starting. It was a sprawling city before but it’s positively overwhelming now. The might as well be looking for a needle in a haystack.
Following Nekomaru, Akane and Mahiru’s lead they pick a random direction and start walking. Hajime leading the way as Nagito and Kazuichi meander behind him. Every time he looks behind him he’s struck by the juxtaposition of the two. Kazuichi peering behind every stone, window and decoration littering the street as if their friends are simply playing hide and seek. Meanwhile Nagito is stumbling about, his hands in his pockets as he patrols the street. Looking more like he’s out hitting the town than actually manning a search party.
As Kazuichi lifts up a rotten plank of wood resting at the edge of the alleyway, he begins to mutter more to himself than anything else, “We’ll find them, right? We have the lucky people so there’s no way we won’t.”
“I’m not as good as you make me sound.” Nagito chuckles, fiddling with a piece of his arm. Doing his best not to actually pry the metal off as he fiddles absentmindedly.
“We’ll find them.” He speaks with a firm confidence which is not his own. The words spilling out before he’s even decided to speak himself.
Those words carry them as they traipse through the city. Trying to imagine where any of their friends would go. Hours pass as they wander through the twisted mazes of alleys. They even venture out into the main streets, Hajime pulling up his hood as inconspicuously as is possible. But still nothing. He had been joking about them falling off the face of the earth before but it really is starting to feel that way.
The more they walk, the harder it becomes to ignore the throbbing in his side and the black spots darting over his vision but he doesn’t slow down. If anything he speeds up. The tingling in his ears and hot flushes make it hard to hear the world outside his head but it’s not like there is anything to hear in the first place.
Every now and then he’s pretty sure he can see Nagito looking his way as he stumbles on a wayward stone or winces as they need to clamber over debris or navigate through tight spaces. But every time he tries to look back over there is no sign Nagito was watching him in the first place. Nothing other than the burning on the back of his head.
The sun rises and falls. The first tendrils of darkness sparking across the sky as the sun begins to dip lower and lower. It feels like they had combed over the entirety of the city but they hadn’t seen hide nor hair of anyone. Not Mitarai and Kazuma, let alone Hiyoko, Ibuki, and Sonia. Even Nekomaru, Akane, and Mahiru never once crossed their paths. Although he knows the city is sprawling - far more so than anywhere else they’ve been to recently - by sheer probability he had assumed they would accidentally stumble upon someone.
The stubborn half of him wants to dig his heels in and press on. If they just look hard enough they must be able to find someone. But the other - more reasonable - half of him pulls him back from the edge.
“We need to head back.”
Just saying it feels like giving up. Like they’re turning around right before reaching their destination. But their promise hangs over his head. They had promised that they wouldn’t wander off and leave everyone hanging so they have to honor that. Regardless of the sour taste it leave in their mind now.
“What?! But we haven’t found them!” Kazuichi gestures wildly around him as if this was a completely unexpected development. They were all in the same place earlier, right? They can all see the same setting sun.
“It isn’t safe for us to stay out at night. If we don’t return the others will worry just like we were worried.”
“Maybe they’ve returned already.” Nagito throws the idea out but none of them grasp onto it. To scared to truly get their hopes up. It feels like the second they allow themselves to hope for it is the moment that it will slip through their fingers.
“Maybe.”
Kazuichi tries to argue but when it’s two against one there’s nothing more that he can do. Keeping his head low and jaw clenched, he follows behind Nagito and Hajime. Dragging his feet and desperately scrambling to check every nook and cranny but still, ultimately trailing after them.
However as they get closer and closer he begins to speed up a little. The hopes visible swelling up inside him. But as soon as they open the door all of that dissipates. Fizzling out as they stare at the almost empty room before them. Only Akane, Nekomaru, Mahiru, Mikan and Gundham remain. Huddled together in the middle of the room which only makes the place look emptier and emptier.
They don’t need to share any words. Instead they all huddle together, draping themselves in blankets and pressing against each other. Seeking out warmth and comfort as they begin the long night.
Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
Chapter 48: 11th of June
Summary:
Unsure of what else to do they continue their desperate search for the others once again.
Chapter Text
11/06 - 05:59
As the sun begins to rise they all sit up blearily. Trapped somewhere half between being asleep and being awake. Tugged in both directions as they rub at their sore eyes. Backs aching and minds still racing. They might as well not have rested at all…
Although he can feel his stomach growling, he does nothing but push it down. Even if he did try and eat right now he doesn’t think he could keep it down. It would be smarter to make sure he’s working at his best before he leaves but just the thought of eating while the others are still out there fills him with dread.
It seems like he wasn’t the only one feeling that way though. Not a single one of them offers to make food or even goes through the bag for snacks. Instead they all break off into the same groups that they had yesterday - ready to set off immediately.
The sun is still rising when they step out. The pink and orange tinges from the rising sun still painted across the deep red morning sky. It might even be beautiful if the situation was different. If being the key word there.
Not one of them takes the time to really admire the sky though. Instead they just get to work. Weaving through the alleyways once again. Trying the same failed technique from the day before. It’s like they’ve truly descended into madness. Blindly charging at the same wall over and over. Hoping something will have changed. Praying that the others simply stumble into their paths.
No matter how hard Nagito tries to fill them with his hope spiel, it does very little to raise their spirits as the day wears on. It almost feels like they’re trapped in a time loop. Repeating the same doomed cycle once more only to find exactly the same results again.
In a desperate attempt Hajime drags them out onto the main street once more. Although Hiyoko might not be brave enough to throw herself into the crowd like this, Kazuma and Mitarai might be less averse. It’s a risk they’re more than willing to take right about now when they have nothing else to go on.
Wandering into basically every shop down the street. Searching for anything familiar and coming up short handed. At some point he just forgets what they’re supposed to be doing in the first place. Going through the motions more than anything else.
However as they stumble along the main road, sticking close to the edges where the shops are, Kazuichi grabs onto his arm. Pulling at it like a child, “Shit.” He’s ready to tear Kazuichi’s hand off him when the man begins hissing like a gas leak, “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
His adrenaline spikes as he whips his head around to try and locate whatever has gotten him so worked up. But as soon as he sees it his blood turns into ice. Freezing in his veins.
Right at their side is a wall of TV’s locked behind the store window. Each one turned on and showing exactly the same scene.
His face. Hajime’s face right there. It might be a sketch but there’s not a single doubt in his mind it’s him.
“…three dead. He was spotted alongside some members of the infamous remnants of despair who recently returned to Japan after wrecking havoc upon the Future Foundation so it is believed he may be a member. Keep you eye out as they may have gone into hiding using disguises.”
“Fuck.”
He swallows hard. Almost choking on the lump in the middle of his throat.
Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. That fucking video.
It had seemed like a good idea at the time. A way to pay back Makoto and the others. Yet here it is getting used against them now. What else did they expect? It’s not like he didn’t consider the consequences but he just assumed they would be able to shed all that behind them. It’s less easy than it sounds though.
The world around him seems to grow louder and louder. The sound of footsteps cascading around him. Crashing. Thundering. Echoing. He hadn’t been all that bothered by the crowd before but now he’s acutely aware of every casual bump. Every shoulder nudge. It’s like his very skin has been set alight.
“What -?” Nagito begins to ask but almost instantly he cuts himself off. The sight of the TV catching the edges of his vision.
As Hajimes’s heart rate spikes and his vision blurs, he keeps waiting for some kind of reaction from Nagito but it never comes. While Hajime can barely force a breath into his lungs, Nagito is just standing there like this is the most normal thing in the world. If it wasn’t for the slightest twitch of his jaw and the icy chill hidden behind his eyes, Hajime would think he just hadn’t noticed at all.
How is he so calm about this?! Doesn’t he understand?!
Is the crowd getting louder? He could swear it’s getting louder. He’s pretty sure he can see Nagito and Kazuichi’s mouth moving but their words are caught up in the tide of the sounds. And yet he can still hear each and every heart beat. Every unsteady breath. Every twitch of his own muscles.
He’s not sure when they start moving but he’s vaguely aware of Kazuichi’s calloused hand gripping his own. There is no way he can miss the sweat clinging to Hajime’s hand but he just grips tighter as they begin to plow forwards.
Nagito must be with them but he can’t see Nagito anymore. Honestly, he can’t see anything any more. It’s hard to see anything through the spots dancing in front of his vision. Marring the world before him.
By the time they finally stop he has no idea where they are. His head smacks into the brick wall as Kazuichi practically shoves him into the darkened alley way. Barely even looking at him as he instead peers back where they just came from.
The spark of pain suddenly rushing through his head, dragging him under, brings the dull ache of his abdomen back once more. If it wasn’t for the harsh sharp bricks digging into his spine he’s not sure his legs would be able to keep him upright.
As such he doesn’t try to stand up and move away. Instead he tilts his head back and drags in a long breath of air. Forcing it into his lungs as he screws his eyes shut. Fingertips gripping the bricks until he can feel the skin tearing. Blood beginning to spill from the tattered skin.
He’s not sure how long he stands there for but he can gradually here the sounds all around him dying away. No…that’s not right…they don’t die but they seem to be muffled. As if someone had thrown a blanket over his head, insulating him from the outer world.
While there is no running from the muffled static that follows him like a darkened cloud, it’s at least a little more bearable as he can hear Kazuichi and Nagito hissing to one another once more - even if he can’t seem to take in their words.
Sure enough, when he finally opens his eyes he can see them both hovering in front of him in the shadowed alley. Kazuichi’s hands and legs twitching as he keeps looking back at where they came from. His teeth practically chattering as his wide eyes scan the area feverently.
Meanwhile Nagito is as still as ever. His cool eyes sharp as they look Hajime up and down before settling on hid mid section. Moving on instinct, Hajime’s hands shift to cover it but there is no point. It’s not like there is anything to see anyway…at least not unless Nagito can suddenly peer into his mind.
His fault.
This is all his fault.
How could he have been this stupid?
People can be dumb and irrational but not him. He’s supposed to be better than that but he dragged everyone into this. He should have taken charge. He should have pushed them all to keep moving. He should have disguised himself. If Nagito and Kazuichi get caught now then it’s all his fault. The biggest threat to them right now is him.
“They know…” Kazuichi murmurs. Still swaying from side to side as his eyes finally meet Hajime’s.
Even though he’s stiller now than he was before, he somehow looks even more feverish. The shaking unable to be contained as the frantic look swallows him whole. Drowning out anything else that had once been there. That alongside the clothes and short black hair almost make him look unrecognisable.
He keeps reaching out for things he can latch onto in his friend and yet the more he tries, the more his head burns. The more the world sways beneath his feet.
“Well, they knew from the second we got here…” Nagito sighs as he leans back against the wall. Slipping his steady hands into his pockets with casual ease, “We shouldn’t get worked up. We should have a little more hope than that.”
“I don’t think either of us want to hear about hope right now.” The bite unintentionally comes out in his words but Nagito’s face remains stoic. You would almost assume he simply didn’t hear at all. Instead he simply hums to himself. Pacing along the alleyway a little as he rubs at his chin almost comically.
“They didn’t mention Hiyoko or any of the others.”
At the moment his mind can’t seem to piece together what Nagito is trying to say at all. For some reason it feels like all the connections in his mind have been slashed and he just has to stand there. Fighting to stand upright as he squeezes his fists tightly. Tethering his mind the only way he knows how.
On the other hand Kazuichi’s face just grows redder and redder with every passing word, “So what?”
“You don’t need to listen to my -”
Letting out the deepest sigh he can, he grits his teeth and hisses, “Get on with it.” They can have time for his pessimistic rambles another day. This is not the time or the place to be messing around.
“Well, if they had been killed surely it would have been included in the report. There’s no way they would report on Hajime and not mention that they had killed any of the remnants. People would be celebrating all over.”
“What if they didn’t realize it was one of us? Or what if it was Mitarai or Kazuma. They wouldn’t know to report on them.” Kazuichi’s words get faster and faster. He might as well be tripping over his own tongue as his voice devolves into sharp hisses that might as well be unintelligible.
“Then why would they have been killed?” Hajime pauses for a second. He almost feels stupid for not considering it sooner. It does make sense. More sense than he would like it to.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Kazuichi simply sneers. His upper lip curling as he gives them both a baffled expression.
“He means that this place isn’t exactly a hellscape. It’s almost…civilized.” Considering how things were as they arrived it feels odd to say those words but it fits too well. Other than that one encounter it’s actually been…fine. As far as cities in this day and age go.
It was him who killed those people. Him who has the blood still dripping from his hands… Can he really hold it against them for wanting to get revenge? Was there something else he could have done back then that would have stopped this from devolving as it has now…was there some other way of fixing all this?
What if, what if, what if…?
Shaking his head he forces himself to speak once more before he second guesses himself any further, “It’s not like people are running around killing each other. They only want us dead, so without knowing our friends were despairs they would have no reason to kill them.”
His words seem clear and concise in his own mind but Kazuichi just narrows his eyes. Looking between them both as if they’re the insane ones here, “Then why haven’t they returned? It’s been like two days now and we’ve seen nothing. Kazuma and Mitarai wouldn’t just run off. Nor would Ibuki and Sonia.”
He wishes he could answer the question. Everything in his body is screaming that this must be the case. They wouldn’t be dead. They can’t be. But if they’re not where are they?
There are worse things than death in this world…
Hiyoko was right. They should have left this place ages ago. They should have left the second she suggested it. Would they still be in danger if they had left now?
“We don’t know.” It feels sour to hear the words aloud but some of the tension drifts off of Kazuichi at those words. A weight flying off of him. His head tilting up softly to meet Hajime’s gaze, “All we know is we can’t give up hope and assume they’re dead. We do need to find them though.”
“We have a lots of ultimate’s looking so there’s no way we can fail.” For a split second he almost feels himself being swayed by Nagito’s sheer confidence. He’s not even sure where it comes from. It’s not like they’ve done a single thing in this world to have earned the trust he places in them but looking at him now it’s impossible to believe he’s being anything less than entirely truthful and honest.
Kazuichi opens his mouth ready to say something but he catches himself at the last second. Instead simply nodding. Firm. Even if it doesn’t reach his eyes, it’s a start. A start is all they need.
“We’re going to find them but clearly running around like headless chickens isn’t exactly helpful. Besides, being seen as little as possible would be best. Anyone and everyone could recognize me within a second.” He tugs at a lock of his hair. Pulling as hard as he can without actually ripping out the strands.
“What should we do then?”
“We need something more efficient as we might be just missing them if we’re all walking around and not staying in one place.” Nagito taps his foot steadily as he starts to ponder racking his brain for whatever mad plan he’s going to come up with.
However before he can even get a chance to think Hajime jumps in, “What about if we leave symbols?”
“Symbols? How will that help?” Kazuichi looks between them. His voice pitching up somewhat almost excitedly.
“Well if we can leave some kind of graffiti around the city that only they would recognize and we paired it with some sort of message then hopefully the others will notice.” As he says it he’s hit by just how vague it sounds but something deep in his gut tells him that it might have a chance of working. Maybe. Or maybe he’s just being a little bit optimistic.
“Okayyyyy….” Kazuichi drawls, leaning back and crossing his arms disapprovingly. Look he didn’t say it was perfect but it’s an idea at least, “Do you have any ideas what the symbol and message could be?”
“It has to be something everyone in the group would recognize and something no one else would know.” Nagito mumbles softly to himself.
“And something that people wouldn’t assume is a code. Because they’re looking for us so they’re going to expect a code.” Kazuichi points out rather unhelpfully. Maybe it would be more effective to find solutions but he doesn’t say that aloud to Kazuichi.
No matter how much he shakes his brain, the solution eludes him. Perhaps he’s the wrong person to be attempting this in the first place. The only symbols he’ll be able to think of that won’t tie them back to Junko are from the Neo World Program and Teruteru and Kazuma weren’t exactly there for long. It’s not like they can go around sketching Usami or something, she would just look like a normal rabbit.
Wait…Usami…
“What about Chiaki Nanami was here with this shape?” He asks tentatively, as he slowly pulls the pin out of his pocket. Holding it out for them both to examine.
“I didn’t realize you still had that…” Nagito mumbles absentmindedly. Clamping his hands together behind his back. Taking a step or two backwards after a second.
“We can talk about it later.” He clears his throat, this wasn’t the point of the conversation. Not now. “Do you think it would work?” He turns towards Kazuichi as he’ll be the one that’s harder to convince. Besides, if Kazuichi can understand what the signal is meant to mean then it should be understood by Ibuki and the others too.
“I…” Kazuichi bites down on his lip, “I don’t know. There’s no way they won’t know we were here at least.”
“It’s worth a try then. If they are walking around maybe it will remind them that we’re still here.” It feels like a long shot but at this point long shots are all they have.
The others nod slowly. Not exactly the enthusiasm he had been hoping for to give him confidence but it’s something. Beggars can’t be choosers.
Taking a nearby rock he begins to crudely scratch the words into the wall. Creating the best galaga ship he can with the tools provided. It’s not the sort of thing that would win awards but he steps back and brushes his hands off anyway. All things considered it’s good. Good enough to recognise when you read the message at least.
As soon as he finishes, Kazuichi claps him on the back. Offering the most pathetic smile Hajime has ever seen but he takes it anyway.
“Are you ready to do that all over the city?”
“Bring it on.”
Chapter 49: 12th of June
Summary:
As everyone struggles to sleep and rest, something finally appears
Chapter Text
12/06 - 04:31
At this point they might as well have worked right through the night. It certainly feels like they have been. They had done their best running about all the dark alley ways adding their little stamp in each place for the entire day yesterday, but when they’d finally stumbled back to the warehouse at the end of the day they’d been greeted by the same sight from the other day. Mahiru curled up on the floor with Akane, Nekomaru, Mikan, and Gundham gathered around her. Just as empty handed as they had been the day before.
They’d attempted to sleep for a little but within the hour they’d already given up on that plan. Sitting up and watching the door for hours upon hours. Constantly expecting the impossible.
However as they get closer and closer to the morning another sound begins to join them in the barn. The pitter patter of rain marching on the roof. Spitting through the cracks in the roof above them. Bit by bit it whittles down the usable space in the room. Crowding them closer and closer until they’re all basically sat on top of each other. Mikan whimpering with every droplet that splatters around them.
“Do you think we’re cursed…?” Kazuichi sighs as he pulls Gundham’s beanie further down his head. Gundham wincing at the sight of the mechanic stretching his hat but he doesn’t say a word. Not even as Kazuichi begins to pull at the fabric.
“Perhaps it’s karma.” Nekomaru adds rather unhelpfully. Right when he starts to think that Nekomaru can read the room this happens…
“K-Karma?” Mikan has already chewed her nails down to the stumps by this point. Her teeth grating against the beds of her nails. Gnawing on them until their a bright throbbing red which doesn’t help her overall look at the moment.
“It’s the weather. It doesn’t change to spite us.” He rubs a hand down his face as he adjusts his position so he isn’t actually sitting on top of Kazuichi.
They don’t have time to be worrying about this stuff. All he can think about are their friends out there. Trapped in the rain. Hopefully they found shelter that was more secure than this one… It’s not like rain is going to kill them but imagining Teruteru or Hiyoko drenched in water on their own on the streets makes his blood turn cold. Stuck in an alleyway with no food, shelter, or companionship is not justice at all. If this is karma then it’s fucked.
“Maybe we should go looking now?” Nagito leans forward, looking past everyone else until he locks eyes with Hajime.
“Then we’ll just be getting wet too. Better to go when the rain dies down.” Nekomaru nods up to the ceiling.
The thundering is only getting louder and louder. Beating violently against every surface. As it gets louder, the stream of water pouring through gets stronger and stronger. The damp floor slowly accumulating more water. At this rate they’re going to be sat in one giant puddle soon enough.
“We’re leavin’ them all out in the rain?” Akane raises an eyebrow. Giving Nekomaru a sharp pointed look.
“They’re the same age as us. We’re all adults. We need to trust that they can look after themselves and find shelter.”
In fairness, it’s not like they could be trusted to find shelter. This is about the most bare bones ‘shelter’ you could possibly find. He thought one of the main jobs of shelter was to actually shelter you from the elements. Chances are the others were actually more successful than them.
Lacking energy to respond, they all fall quiet again. Waiting for any sign that the rain is going to die down but the longer they wait the stronger the rain seems to become. What if the rain never dies down? At least not today. No matter what Nekomaru says, there’s no way they’re staying huddled up in here all day. Surely if the others are taking shelter this would be the best time to go while they’re unlikely to be moving around, right?
He never needs to cross that bridge though. Because as they sit there, hunched over, a small black figure comes hopping in. At first it looks like nothing more than a shadow but the closer it comes, the clearer the image becomes. It’s a small bird. A crow. It’s black feathers sparkling with water as it hops into the room. Beelining directly towards Gundham.
As soon as he catches sight of it, Gundham shoves Akane and Mikan off of him. Rushing right over towards the bird and setting his arm out towards it, giving it space and time to hop on as it grooms its feathers.
“Ha! My servants of darkness have seen victory!” Gundham gently brushes the crows feathers. Softly brushing the drops off water off as the bird preens.
“D-Did th-they f-find the others?” Mikan leans forward a little. Holding her still slightly swollen wrist close to her chest. It must be stinging with pain but for once there is no moisture clinging to her eyes. She looks sharp and clear - or at least as sharp and clear as Mikan can be.
“Fall to your knees and beg!”
“O-Okay…” Hajime quickly darts in and grabs Mikan shoulder softly before she can actually start bowing. Letting her fold into his side with ease as he eases her out of the conversation.
“Where are they?”
Its’s hard for anyone not to be alert and awake now. All of them full to the brim with questions.
“Who did they find?” Nagito hums as he shuffle forwards a little. Scooting closer and closer to Gundham and bird.
Even Mahiru is sat up, clued into the conversation as she makes herself as small as possible. Barely speaking in more than a hoarse whisper, “Are they okay?”
Gundham doesn’t answer any of them immediately though. Tilting his head close to the bird he just keeps stroking it’s feathers. Listening to its cawing as if it’s actually speaking. All of them watch transfixed, hanging off his every breath as they wait for any information at all. The longer it goes on, the more he starts to wonder if Gundham knows anything at all or if he’s just spouting nonsense but he makes sure to not verbalize it at all.
When he finally does speak it’s been so built up that it’s almost disappointing, “He says he can lead us to them if we follow him.” Not a single question really answered. Without actually being able to speak to the bird he’s not sure what they were expecting but still.
As Gundham finishes speaking the bird stretches out it’s wings as flutters forwards. Swooping between every to clamp down on Hajime’s shoulder. It’s sharp claws digging into his shoulder as gently as it can. It’s feathers rustle against his ear but he stays still and stable. Not wanting to send the bird skittering off out of their reach.
“He has selected Hajime as his perch. Rejoice.” Gundham claps his hand together as if this is some kind of award or something. But if this is what it takes to find the others then he’ll do it.
Mimicking Gundham earlier, he reaches a hand up towards the bird. Letting it nuzzle into his finger as he tentatively shuffles to his feet. Keeping his shoulder as steady as he can throughout the process.
Akane’s cackles don’t exactly help the situation, “You…look….like…a pirate.” She manages to get a few word out between her fits of laughter. For a split second he wonders if he could set the bird on her but he reigns himself back in as quickly as he can. It might not be quite as bad as he’s treating it…
Instead he rolls his shoulders and clears his throat, “We should go immediately then. Whoever it is, the sooner we get there, the better.” If they want answers then they’re not going to get any from the bird or Gundham. They just need to act as quickly as possible while the birds information is still fresh.
Everyone nods their heads in unison. Even Nekomaru. It would be impossible for anyone to tell them not to go looking when a situation like this falls straight into their laps.
“Who should go?” Nagito looks around at everyone in the group in turn. As if sizing them all up one by one. Something darting behind his eyes. A coolness that reminds him of times long past…or perhaps it just feels like that.
“What do you mean?” Mahiru cocks her head to one side a little. Narrowing her gaze in Nagito’s direction.
“I mean, we should still leave someone here in case someone else comes back here. Mikan stands out the most with her bruises so it makes sense for her to stay -”
“S-sorry…” Mikan’s pathetic whimper whines through the room. Interrupting Nagito’s flow.
“- but she can’t stay alone in case a threat arrives.”
Despite him saying that, a shiver still runs down his spine. His arms retracting in close as he grits his teeth. Holding back the words he knows he probably should say.
Mikan isn’t the one standing out the most right now… Surely Nagito isn’t stupid enough to overlook that and yet…
Although he wants to open his mouth, his lips remain firmly pursed. Watching everyone else as they all stare at one another. Waiting for someone to speak first. Even if Mikan wasn’t bruised to hell, her jumpy nature and the fact they might be finding Hiyoko should be enough to leave her behind he supposes, but given the situation they shouldn’t really leave Gundham again. Not when his bird is doing all the work.
Before he can pull himself together long enough to speak, Nekomaru has taken center stage, “Akane and I can stay with Mikan.” He points between himself and the gymnast, holding a hand up in front of Akane’s mouth before she can complain, “It’s less suspicious with less of us walking around. Besides, me and Akane can protect Mikan.” With the well honed manipulation of a pro, Nekomaru twists Akane exactly where he wants her. Shutting her down until she fully slumps down where she’s sat.
“S-Sorry y-you need to p-protect me.” Mikan balls her hands into fists as she desperately rubs the tears which are streaming down her face.
“Are you sure?” Kazuichi frowns, looking between the three of them cautiously.
“It’s the only way that makes sense.”
There’s no more time for arguing though. Not when Gundham is creeping closer and closer to the main door. His foot tapping on the floor impatiently, “Enough of this preamble. We should be moving already.”
That’s all they need to spurn them into action. Offering meager goodbyes to Akane, Nekomaru and Mikan as they run off. Gundham and Hajime in the lead as the crow flutters off his shoulder. Leading them away.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
His heart thunders in his chest as they race down the streets. His teeth chatter in his skull with each heavy thud of feet on the concrete but he can’t tell if it’s from the cold or something else… hails of rain blinding them as they sprint out in a single line. Weaving between the streets frantically.
In the back of his mind he knows they needed to leave but they’re running for so long that his mind has the chance to over think everything. Going over everything that lead them here once more.
Hair is sticking to his face, blocking his vision, but he doesn’t have the wherewithal to brush it away. Even as they run he can feel the chill slicing him down to the bone but he keeps going. Adrenaline refusing to let him turn back. Keeping his eyes open for an unseen enemy he can’t help but see around every corner.
As the bird is much faster than the rest of them it has to keep stopping in perches along the way. Looking back at them every time with his black beady eyes. Completely unbothered by the hail of rain crashing down upon them.
When they left the rain had barely seemed like an issue - he’s dealt with worse than being a little wet before - but with every inch of fabric sticking tightly to his skin a whole new problem begins to swell inside him.
He never took the USB stick out of his pocket.
As subtly as he can, he tries to slip his hand into the pocket to clench it in his fist but that does nothing to settle the spiraling feeling in his chest. It’s not like he can just run back and leave it with the others though. No, this is far more important. If something does happen to it then Alter Ego would understand. He can worry about the USB stick when they find their friends. Not a second before it.
For the entire time he refuses to waste his time wondering who they are approaching. At this point he couldn’t care less. They just need a single victory. Just one. No matter who it is, it’s better than the bitter silence that has existed for the last few days.
The alleyways are so twisted and the bird is moving so erratically that even he isn’t too sure where they’re actually heading. Every time he thinks they’re heading in one direction they suddenly whip around to another alleyway. Racing forwards as fast as they can with Mahiru, Nagito, and Kazuichi all trailing somewhere behind them. The sound of their footsteps the only thing reminding him that they are indeed still there.
However because of the narrow twisting alleyways he doesn’t realise what’s happening until it’s too late. Gundham grinding to a stop in the middle of the alley, “Peko?” Everything is so sudden that Hajime goes careening into him. Almost knocking them both to the ground as is brain struggles to catch up with what’s happening.
Sure enough as he steadies himself by pressing one hand to the nearby wall, a figure comes into view. Peko. She’s sat on the window sill of the ground floor room. Balanced in the open window with her sword resting against the wall below her. Her now brown hair is down, framing her face perfectly. Small smudges of dye sticking to her skin where the rain falls. He still gets the distinct impression she pulls off the wet hair look better than him.
Her hand had drifted to the hilt as they approached but as she takes in the sight of them her hand slowly drifts away. Falling away completely as Kazuichi, Mahiru, and Nagito finally round the corner. Mouths falling open as they catch sight of Peko too.
“You’re here?” Peko frowns, looking around at them all, “What are you doing here?”
“I didn’t think it would be you here.” Nagito mumbles. Doing his best to suppress the sound of him panting. Faking an effortless and casual tone.
Mahiru stops behind everyone else. Refusing to step any closer as she hunches over near the corner of the alleyway, “We…were…following…the….bird.” Mahiru mumbles between pants. Her trembling finger reaching up to point to the crow as it swoops back down. Settling on Gundham’s shoulder.
“My dark servant here caught sight of your trail on the wind and has guided us here to your new abode.” Gundham puffs up his chest. The only thing he’s missing now is the maniacal laughter.
“But I-”
“What’s going on Pe -?” Fuyuhiko freezes at once. His skin blanching as he catches sight of them through the window, “What are you guys doing here?” The words lack their usual bite though. More horrified than angry which is an improvement. At least he thinks it is. It’s hard to be sure.
“We weren’t trying to find you.” Kazuichi grits his teeth. Sneering ever so slightly as he begins to cross his arms. Looking the pair of them up and down slowly.
Moving as subtly as he can, he slides across so he completely blocks Kazuichi from the field of vision, “Sorry, we weren’t trying to intrude. We really were following the bird.” He jerks his thumb in the direction of the smugly preening bird. Fighting to keep his voice from shaking as he holds his ground, “It was trying to help us locate everyone.”
“And it did it’s job splendidly.” Gundham chuffs, resting both hands on his hips as pride oozes off of him in every direction.
Tentatively, Nagito creeps forward to hover by Gundham’s shoulder. Sticking just out of reach even now, “I don’t think they want to be found.” He tries to whisper to Gundham but in such close quarters, even with the rain pouring around them, it’s not enough to actually drown out the words.
“No, they just wanted to leave us all.” Kazuichi growls bitterly, “We said we would stick together and here they are leaving us for no reason.”
Like a fire has been lit under Fuyuhiko, he immediately storms forward. Crossing the small room they had been staying in to grab Peko’s shoulder. Yanking her into the room through the window as she grips onto her sword. Pulling it inside with her.
“We didn’t leave you!”
“What do you call this then?!” Kazuichi’s voice gets louder and louder as he nods at the small room they have clearly set up camp in. Stolen food gathered in one side of the room that has been set up as a makeshift kitchen. It almost looks cozy. At least it would if they didn’t have rubble strewn through the place just like.
“Look we -”
But Fuyuhiko can finish his sentence, Hajime cuts in, “Have you been watching the news on the TV.”
“The news?” Peko narrows her eyes suspiciously. Her hand drifting back slightly to grip onto Fuyuhiko. Practically dragging him behind her forming an impenetrable wall between them and everyone else.
Fuyuhiko isn’t standing for it though. Despite Peko’s best attempts, he side steps her and takes center stage in the middle of the window. Frowning deep enough to crease his face entirely, “Why? Is something going on?”
Just as he thought, they have been well away from everything else. They’re still completely in the dark about everything.
“You could say that…” Nagito mumbles, dipping his head ever so slightly.
Taking a deep breath in, he begins to explain, “We’ve been on the news. Well, I have. A sketch of me done by the people that attacked us a few days ago. They’re telling everyone we’re in Japan and were last sighted here. They’ve also mentioned we might be disguised.”
“I…”
But as Fuyuhiko fumbles with his own words - his brain short circuiting, Gundham steps forward, His hair matted and stuck to his face awkwardly but still somehow maintaining the same commanding tone, “The time to depart from this accursed realm is upon us! But do not mistake our exodus for abandonment—for even the flames of oblivion shall not claim thee while the Supreme Overlord of Ice stands resolute!"
“The ones that want to be around us anyway.” Kazuichi’s comment makes Fuyuhiko flinch back slightly but he doesn’t back down.
Hajime had expected Mahiru to drag them all away or maybe even smile at the jabs thrown in Peko and Fuyuhiko’s way but her lips are pulled tight. Skin pale and expression stoic. No matter how hard he tries, he can’t quite read how she is feeling.
Holding onto Fuyuhiko’s arm, Peko steps forward a little. Keeping them both side by side as they address everyone, “What do you think we can do?”
His blood begins to boil. Not loads but it’s a slow and steady increase in the heat. Gently turning up the flames higher and higher. He can’t feel the chill of the rain anymore. Just the words thundering in his head, “We don’t think you can do anything. We weren’t trying to come to you.”
He wants to throw his hand sup and yell but he reins himself in. Holding himself back from the edge. It’s not like he can just go around yelling. What would that even solve.
He knows Fuyuhiko. No matter what he says now, he refuses to believe that he doesn’t know him. Friendships are forged in fires and they certainly stepped through one together. Regardless of how well they knew each other before, those weeks in the program meant something. He isn’t the sort of person who doesn’t care for people. He cares. He’s just being Fuyuhiko right now. All he needs is a little more sense knocked into him. That is if he’ll even allow it.
Stepping up close to the window, he locks eyes with Fuyuhiko. Resting his hands on the window sill below as he begins to lean forward. Wet hair dripping softly on their dull wood floors. Refusing to break eye contact with Fuyuhiko even as he begins to notice Peko shuffling about. If he just stares long enough maybe Fuyuhiko will wake up. If. Maybe. Hopefully.
He’s not sure how long they stand like that. Staring into each others souls. He can almost imagine he can read the other mans mind. That he can peer in and drag the brave person he used to know kicking and screaming. But he isn’t and he can’t.
Instead Mahiru’s hand curls around his upper arm. Coaxing him away. He’s not sure when she closed the distance. Daring to venture right up to the window sill but he can’t bring himself to care. Not even as she begins pulling him away. Murmuring quietly as her teeth chatter and her body shakes, “Maybe we should just leave… Can your bird find anyone else?”
As she drags Hajime over towards Gundham he catches the slightest glimpse of Fuyuhiko ducking away. Something shimmering welling up in the depths of his eye, “It’s not like we want to abandon you. You’re still our friends but -” He mumbles, calling after Hajime but his words are almost drowned out by the crashing of rain all around them.
Before Hajime can fully turn back around, Kazuichi has slipped in front of him. From here he can’t see the mans face but he can see the rippling of his shoulders. The red tint of the skin on his neck as he spits out, “But what?”
Staring down the alleyways around them he’s all too aware of how loud they are being. The sun hasn’t quite risen yet but it’s only minutes away now. At this rate someone is going to hear them and investigate. At this point it’s a ‘when’ not an ‘if’. It all depends on if luck is on their side.
But even knowing this, no one takes a step. Not Peko and Fuyuhiko, nor any of the rest of them stood outside. It’s like making a single step will shatter the world around them. All they can do is hold their breaths as the tension blows past them. Carried down with the rain and the wind until it crashes on top of them.
The first one to break the silence is Nagito as he starts to whisper, “We should calm down this isn’t helping anything.”
“Shut up Nagito.” Nagito flinches back. Physically withdrawing from Kazuichi’s personal space.
It’s not just him though. Gundham and Mahiru both back away. Mahiru almost stumbling straight into Gundham’s chest as she scurries backwards as quick as she can.
The only person remaining rooted to the spot is Hajime. He refuses to back down even an inch. Kazuichi might be hurting but he isn’t going to hurt any of them. Not here and not now.
“Look, it’s not safe here. I get what you’re saying but eventually someone will recognise you. How many one eyed people are there around here? You stand out.”
Even as he starts to speak, Fuyuhiko refuses to take his attention off of Kazuichi. The two of them inextricably linked together. Reading something in the air between them that no one else can see. Not even Peko as she tries to place herself between Fuyuhiko and the others again to little avail.
“I will not let anyone lay a finger on him.” Hajime can’t sense any form of deceit or uncertainty in her voice but that only makes his stomach twist tighter.
She would. She would do it. He has seen her lay down beside him and accept her death before. But if this happens again he can’t pull her back over the edge. A life like this isn’t what she deserves. Regardless of everything she should be given the chance to live the life she was never given. A life where she can live in a world without needing to defend Fuyuhiko from every side. But at every turn they refuse to even consider taking that route.
The two of them against the world. For ever and ever and ever.
“So you’ll stay here alone forever?” Mahiru shivers, but her voice is somehow sharp. A clear bell ringing through the thick rain. Bringing everyone back from the edge.
“It’s what’s best.” Fuyuhiko finally sighs. Taking a step or two back so the building’s shadows can envelope him. Hide him away from everyone and everything.
“Bullshit.” Fuyuhiko flinches at Kazuichi’s scowl but that’s all. It’s like he’s already resigned himself completely.
Coward wasn’t a word he usually associated with Fuyuhiko. Not in a long time anyway. But no other word seems fitting right now. He’s a coward. Running away with his tail between his legs and bringing Peko with him. Even after everything and all the word Hiyoko has said, Mikan is still right there. And here Fuyuhiko is. A shell of himself.
Plucking up the courage, Hajime steps up once again, “You’re doing the same thing you did before. You’re running away and trying to do things all by yourself. It’s like you never learnt a single thing.” Progress isn’t a one way street but he’d really hoped Fuyuhiko had evolved as a person. He hadn’t just hoped. He’s also believed it. At least for a little while.
But still nothing.
Both him and Peko are stony faced. Unrelenting. Their words are falling on deaf ears. There is only so much you can do to shift a stubborn stone. And he’s not willing to put in more effort when Fuyuhiko and Peko are so closed minded. At some point they need to start making changes for themselves. He can’t be the one doing that for them.
Instead he allows Gundham to pull him away as he lets the bird hop onto his finger. Holding it up high regardless of how much rain begins to fall, “There is no point in trying to speak sense to them. They are lost souls cast adrift amongst the river Styx. We should cast my feathered underling out again to see if we can locate any one else.”
One by one, they form a line as they begin to wander away. Gundham and Hajime leading once more with Kazuichi right behind them. The last ones to begin moving are Mahiru and Nagito. Mahiru clutching at her upper arm as she begins to curl in on herself as Nagito turns around to softly wave to the others as the window slowly disappears from view. Covered by the screen of rain that crashes behind them.
“I wish you the best Peko, Fuyuhiko…” It’s hard to even hear Nagito over the sound but he manages to make that out if nothing else.
A last goodbye. The last time they will see their friends...
Until… “Are Hiyoko and the others really in danger?
Hajime and Gundham whip around immediately. Peering over Mahiru and Kazuichi to focus on the figure in the middle of the street.
Fuyuhiko.
Like a wet dog he somehow looks so much smaller now. The rain pummeling down on him and weighing down his clothes. Coating him in a shimmering sheen as Peko darts out after him. Sword drawn and ready. For a split second he almost thinks she’s going to attack them until she rushes over to Fuyuhiko’s side. Practically glued onto him.
Are they in danger? It seems stupid to need to ask the question at all. Of course they’re in danger. How could they not be in a place like this but all he answers with is, “Almost certainly.”
Neither Kazuichi nor Mahiru turn back to meet Fuyuhiko and Peko’s gaze. Instead they both stare at Gundham and Hajime. Reading their faces as best they can. Analyzing every micro-expression that flutters across their faces as they wait for Fuyuhiko and Peko to finally speak.
“I…I will help you look for Hiyoko and the others.” Fuyuhiko steps forward. Doing all he can to try and keep his head up as he starts to close the distance as much as he dares to, “Me and Peko both will. Getting them back safe is the least we can do after everything.”
“Such radiant hope.” Nagito claps his hands together enthusiastically. There’s no way he isn’t aware that he’s the only one still smiling after all of this.
“But after that we’re going. Its how things should be.”
It’s not exactly what he wants to hear but given what they started with it’s progress. Anything is better than nothing at this point.
“If that’s still what you want.” Hajime nods his head slowly. Sealing the promise between them as they start marching off in search of the others.
~~~
12/06 - 06:41
They had been quiet on the way here but they’re even quieter now. Every now and then the crow will shoot into the air but unlike before it doesn’t start leading them ahead. Instead it flutters right back down to perch on Gundham’s arm or shoulder again. Flicking water off it’s shimmering feathers every now and again.
Every few steps Mahiru shoots a look over her shoulder. She might as well just walk backwards. It would certainly be more efficient. But given her twitchy behavior it’s probably best they don’t bring that up to her.
The only ones making the walk somewhat survivable are Gundham and Nagito as they speak over all the twitching and death glares taking up the back half of their group. He’s got half a mind to fully split the group in two. Walk off with Peko and Fuyuhiko and cleave this tension but so far splitting up hasn’t exactly been doing them a whole load of good.
Although they have the sun to guide them now the narrow streets don’t feel any clearer. Not even with the bird searching the skies above. Hope dwindles by the second.
But right as he’s about to give up and drag the rest of them apart they hear something cutting through the alley way.
His blood turns to ice in his veins.
“HELP!” The scream is bloodcurdling. Like it is is echoing right from the center of someone soul. Slicing through the air fast and sharp. The worst part is that it’s a voice he recognizes.
Hiyoko.
“Is that Hiyoko?” Mahiru shoots forwards, darting straight between Gundham and Hajime with her head held high. Angling her ear forwards as if she’s trying to use it like some kind of sonar.
“That was definitely her.” Kazuichi swallows hard. Not even trying to suppress the panic hitting at the edges of his voice.
“Which direction did it come from?” Mahiru looks around wildly as if she expects Hiyoko to suddenly appear out of thin air.
Instead Mahiru simply flinches as Peko pushes past her to the front of the group. Holding her sword up at the ready as she starts to run forwards, “It was over here.”
They don’t need to take a second to think. The second they see Peko running they all sprint after her. Even Mahiru doesn’t need a second to collect herself before she’s moving at full speed. Egged on by the sound of wailing bouncing down the alleyway.
Despite the screaming not a single person is out. The alleys are deserted as they sprint along. Curtains drawn over all the windows. The emptiness only makes the sounds of Hiyoko struggling clearer and clearer.
“PLEASE!”
Every time they hear her voice they speed up. Peko vanishing ahead of the rest of them leaving them to navigate the streets alone.
But the closer they get, the more things they start to hear. It’s not just Hiyoko’s voice that’s ringing out. Other familiar voices join the conversation. Crying out in ways that cast unpleasant images in his mind.
Sonia isn’t crying in the same way as Hiyoko but that doesn’t give him any peace of mind, “You do not need to hurt her.”
As he rounds the corner into the alleyway he’s greeted by the sight of Hiyoko cornered at the end of the alley. She’s surrounded by a small gaggle of people. Almost completely hidden behind them if not for her screaming. It’s far less than the gaggle they had been swarmed by last time - only four or so - but there’s still more than enough of them to be a threat.
Two of the people are gripping into Sonia and Ibuki. Retraining their writhing forms as they strain and kick to try to get to Hiyoko. Their hair wet and matted. Their clothes scuffed and dirty. They look more feral than anything else.
“Get off -” Ibuki wriggles in the woman’s grip. Trying to reel her elbow back to smack it into the woman’s jaw. But from this position the best she can do is graze her chin. Flailing about as best she can but it’s still never quite enough.
However he’s not looking at any of the others. He’s only focused on the figure in front of them. Cloaked in the shadows of the buildings as she draws her blade. Holding it high and ready.
The never see it coming. One second they’re holding Sonia and Ibuki, they next they’re on the ground. Heads smacking against the ground hard as Sonia and Ibuki drop to their knees. They don’t even have time to look up and blink before another clash. Another crack of the sword as the other two people drop. Crumpling in on themselves and leaving only Peko standing. Sword at her side.
“Peko…?” Sonia half whimpers, blinking up at Peko drearily as she pulls herself back onto her feet. Dancing away from the slumped over body to get to Ibuki and Hiyoko. Only once she pulls the two in close to her does she finally look up and notice the rest of them, “Everyone!” Her eyes light up at the sight of them. A toothy grin shining on her face as she takes in the sight.
Shuffling from one foot to another as she awkwardly watches the three of them. Her fist clenching and unclenching around the handle of her sword. Daring to take the slightest step forward before thinking better of it, “Are you all okay?” Is all she manages to get out.
All Hiyoko can do is open and close her mouth like a drowning fish. Hands subconsciously clinging onto Ibuki. Dragging the girl as close as it’s possible to get, “D-Did you k-kill them?”
Her skin grows paler and paler as she stares at the four people now laying on the ground. He expects her face to look twisted in anger or disgust but she just looks shell shocked. Waiting for her brain to catch up to the situation.
Peko gently nudges the nearest body with the tip of her shoe. Barely enough to even be considered a touch but enough to make the woman’s head wobble. No sign of pink pooling around her, “They should be fine. There has been more than enough bloodshed. We need to get you back though.”
No one can argue with that. If they really are just unconscious then it’s all the more reason to get going. The sooner they get away from these people the better. Avoiding a repeat of last time would be nice if they can help it.
Unsure of what else to do, he slides past Peko and reaches down towards the others. Taking their hands one by one to pull them up to their feet. They huddle together, leaning on each other as they blink wearily. They might as well be pinching themselves.
However as soon as Hiyoko wobbles to her feet, they’re interrupted by a loud call and the sound of feet slapping against the concrete, “Hiyoko!” Mahiru launches herself forwards. Her arms open wide as she scoops Hiyoko up. Pulling the girl into her arms and slowly smoothing down her wet and tangled hair.
“M-Mahiru!” Hiyoko cries out before burying her face in Mahiru’s shoulder. Breathing in her scent as she holds back tears, “I thought you would leave me.”
“I’m not going to leave you.”
As touching as the scene is, just standing here feels wrong. Like he’s stepped into something he wasn’t supposed to be around for. It’s not just him. Ibuki and Sonia both back away. Sonia reaching out and taking Gundham’s hand. Letting him guide her past the slumped over bodies towards the mouth of the alleyway.
Mirroring the two of them, Kazuichi holds his hand out for Ibuki but she hops over on her own. Throwing her arm over Kazuichi’s shoulder as she giggles.
“I thought we were dead! If this was a song it would be: Life from the jaws of death!” Her laughter is giddy as she wobbles about slightly. Putting on her best performance yet as she keeps herself upright.
Even Fuyuhiko and Nagito don’t stay back for long. Nagito shuffling up to Hajime’s side. Or at least he assumes that what he’s doing because he still maintains a good two or three meters between them. Subtly maintaining the same distance even as Hajime shifts.
Meanwhile Fuyuhiko creeps up to Peko’s side. Interweaving his fingers with hers as slowly as he can. Doing his best to hide the movement with his body but failing miserably.
“Peko are you -?” He tilts his head up towards her, gently pressing their arms together but he never gets to finish his sentence.
Before he gets the chance he’s cut off as a figure goes flying towards Peko. Arms flinging around her shoulders in a choking hug. All Peko can do is stand there, stiff as a board, as Ibuki squeezes the life out of her. Speaking into her hair and sending it fluttering up with every breath, “I thought we’d never see you again.”
“I didn’t realise you cared that much.”
Ibuki instantly pulls back. Dropping her arms and staring at Ibuki. Utter bewilderment etched into every crease of her face, “What do you mean?! You’re one of our friends, righttttt! You’re stuck with us for life now.”
He could swear Peko turns a shade pinker but perhaps that’s simply his eyes playing tricks on him. “I -”
Nothing happy is ever allowed to last long though. Things can never be that easy.
“Good luck with that. Peko and Fuyuhiko are leaving so they can’t exactly be with us for ‘life’ anymore.” Kazuichi leans back against the wall as he crosses his arms. Fresh rain trailing down his cheeks. You could almost pretend it wasn’t rain at all.
Every conversation comes back to the same thing. He almost wishes he could say he doesn’t understand where the other man is coming from. But that simply isn’t the case. Looking at Fuyuhiko and Peko here now just feels right. Hugging onto Ibuki. Standing with everyone else. This is how it should be. How it is in his head when the good dreams do come. Instead they have this mess to work with…
Even over the sound of the rain crashing, they all freeze. The words slicing through all other noise. Kazuichi doesn’t flinch at the attention but Peko and Fuyuhiko on the other hand…
Sonia carefully releases Gundham’s hand. Shuffling forwards a little to close the distance between herself and the others. Tensed face studying Fuyuhiko and Peko diligently, “Leaving? May I ask why?”
“They have forsaken us. Their lives have been forfeited to fate itself.”
Hiyoko hiccups slightly as she pulls back from Mahiru slightly. Not enough to actually disentangle them but enough to take in the scene around her, “What does that even mean?”
“It means they have decided they should take their chance on their own. It’s not like we’re the most well functioning group after all.”
“I see…” Ibuki slowly drops her, “You’ll come to visit though?”
“We don’t have a place we can stay in long term yet. It would be difficult to come and visit.” Nagito explains but he’s not watching Ibuki. The entire time he’s eyeing up Fuyuhiko. As if he’s trying to challenge him. But if he is then it’s a remarkably one sided one. Before it’s begun Fuyuhiko has already looked away. Clutching at Peko’s hand tighter and tilting his head lower. As low as it can go without his chin physically touching his chest.
“So that is it? You will simply leave.” Sonia tilts her head, pulling out the puppy dog eyes whether intentionally or not. It would take more than that to crack through.
“They’re not going to change their mind.” Kazuichi twists his head away to make a show of ignoring them both. Refusing to deign them with his attention.
“It does seem like they’ve made up their minds. Even though the city has put out alerts for us all, they are determined that they will be safer alone.” He’s only telling the truth. If they don’t like it then perhaps that something they need to think about.
“That is most horrible to think about. We came all this way to help keep Hiyoko safe only to learnt that we are still losing our precious friends.”
“Human cannot be trusted with things such as affection.” Gundham grumbles, sounding remarkably more like Kazuichi with every passing moment, “They will always abandon us eventually. Only the hearts of dark beasts are truly trustworthy.”
“We’re not trying to abandon you.” Struggling desperately, Fuyuhiko tries to argue. Gently clutching his free hand around the inside of his forearm, he finally plucks up the courage to look them all in the eye as he speaks, “We’re just thinking about the big picture.”
It’s almost laughable but he’s not in the mood for laughing right now. All he wants is to get back safely. The last thing they need is to stand around arguing out here.
“But leaving is not cool! We can look after each other right? Ibuki might not be good at lots of things but Ibuki will look after her friends! That’s what bands do!” But even Ibuki’s speech falls on deaf ears. There’s only so much you can really sway a person when their mind is made up.
Sighing in resignation, Hajime takes a step closer to the mouth of the alley, “People would have heard screaming. We need to go right now before someone else arrives. There’s no point arguing about this here. We can’t force them to stay with us no matter how much we want to.” They are the words of defeat but he knows when to cut his losses. They’re already losing two of their friends. Sticking around here is just going to lose them more people.
Sure enough, the others begin to move. Dragging their feet as they stumble along to join him. Almost everyone at least.
“No point…” Nagito mumbles. Lowering his head a little as the others begin to scurry past him. No one giving him so much as a second look, “What would Chiaki say about that?”
They all freeze. As if time has stopped they all hold their breaths. A million thoughts running around each of their heads.
Instinctively he reaches for the pin once more. Practically crushing it in his hand. He can only imagine how disappointed she would be by the mess they’ve made of all this. The can’t even keep sixteen people together. What hope is there really?
“You don’t need to bring her up.” Fuyuhiko hisses through his teeth. His nails digging into his forearm until a tiny dribble of blood begins to trickle down to the edge of his sleeve. Barely enough to constitute a single drop but still enough.
“I do.” He stands his ground, holding his head high, “She was a true hope. Our hope. And she died. But you can’t let her hope die with her. She would have wanted you to all stick together so you were never alone. Leaving now goes against everything she would have wanted. Even if we all did terrible things, she would have wanted you to remain beacons of hope.”
How many years have passed now? You’d think people would become less and less important the more time passed after their deaths. Yet here they are. Years later still controlled by a single name. If that isn’t eternal life then he doesn’t know what is.
Although the rain is still crashing around them, within the darkness a small beam of light manages to break through. Dancing on the street in front of them all. For a split second he could almost swear she’s right there with them. Stood amongst their broken huddle. Smiling. The light catching in her hair.
But then the moment passes as the small crack of light is swallowed by the rain clouds once more. As the light goes, so does she.
They are all alone again.
Chiaki isn’t here to save them all this time. There is no magic code or programming which can stitch them all back together. If they want to make any progress then they need to save themselves for once.
“He’s right. I said it before and I’ll say it again. We have no one else in this world anymore. Those of us who are left need everyone we can get.” He looks around at their scattered broken group. Still drenched in rain looking like wet cats. But still stood here, “That includes Teruteru, Mitarai, and Kazuma who are still missing but it also includes you two. We kind of suck right now but if we’re going to get better we’re going to do it together.”
“I don’t -”
Fuyuhiko backs away for a second but his hands are immediately captured by Ibuki as she begins to shake them, “Please! Ibuki will sing a million bazillion songs of joy if you don’t leave.”
All of them watch, holding their breaths, as Peko and Fuyuhiko turn to look at each other. Cogs turning in their brains as the rain slowly begins too die down. Tendrils of light poking through the clouds once more as Fuyuhiko fully turns around to direct his attention to Mahiru and Hiyoko who are tucked away at the back of the group. Ghosts within the conversation.
“Are you okay with this Hiyoko?” Everyone turns to Hiyoko now. Not just her, Mahiru too. As everyone locks onto them, they tighten their grip on each other. Pulling each other as close as they can.
“We don’t want to join and cause either of you anguish.” Peko grits her teeth hard. Her shoulders tense and stiff. Even though she’s asked, she barely seems to be listening o
“I -” Hiyoko looks at Peko and Fuyuhiko for a split second before turning back towards Mahiru. Leaning forwards to rest her head on Mahiru’s shoulder. Folding into her like a child would a mother, “I don’t care. I just want to go home and sleep.”
Home. Home. Home… The word chants within his skull like the beat of the war drum. Heavy and hard.
“Very well then. We will accompany you for a little while longer.” Peko nods solemnly. Releasing her hold on Fuyuhiko’s hand until it falls limply at his side.
“At least until we find somewhere safe.”
Even just saying that feels like a far flung dream. Meaningless hopes. But if that’s what they need to tell themselves then who is he to stop them? He isn’t going to be taking away their hope. Not today.
Chapter 50: 13th of June
Summary:
Hajime is woke up in the early morning to a surprising sight
Chapter Text
13/06 - 02:34
He’s woken up my rustling in the night. He’s not sure when he fell asleep. All he knows is that he’s awake now. Half crushed under the weight of Ibuki and Mikan as they sprawl over him, both of them apparently unaware that he needs to breath.
Wheezing, he tries to carefully grab ahold of Ibuki. Wriggling cautiously to try and shift the girl over. Letting her slide off until she’s fully in the floor again and he can breath once more. Sucking in a deep breath while he can. Relieve flooding over him as the cool air fills his lungs. A weight he hadn’t noticed was smothering his mind disappearing along with the breath.
As soon as Ibuki is off of him he moves onto Mikan, sitting upright to shimmy her over. It takes quite a bit of effort to make sure to not to wake up either of them but he manages it. Allowing them to keep each other company for the time being.
Only once they’re both on the ground and no longer crushing his chest does he let out a relieved sigh. Letting his shoulders slump as he rubs a hand down his face. However as his hand drops down from his face he realises it wasn’t Mikan and Ibuki that woke him at all. The rustling was coming from somewhere different entirely.
Kazuma is stood in the middle of the room. Staring down at him. Eyes almost sparkling in the low light of the room.
“Kazuma?” He blearily rubs at his eyes. As if expecting them to suddenly vanish into smoke around him.
But no matter how much he rubs his eyes, they remain right there. Not just Kazuma. Two other figures are behind them. Teruteru and Mitarai are both stood there. Hanging back near the door. Making themselves look as small as possible in the darkness.
Shuffling forwards, Kazuma begins to close the distance between them. Towering over the pile of sleeping bodies as they start to hiss softly, “I was worried you might have left already.” As he speaks he looks around at the huddle of people in the room. Doing a quick head count of everyone before smiling, “I see you found Ibuki, Sonia, and Hiyoko.”
“I…” He stammers, fighting about a yawn which is threatening to take over his tired body, “We wouldn’t leave without you guys. We can’t abandon you all.”
Smiling warmly, Kazuma turns around and beckons Mitarai and Teruteru closer. Mitarai shuffles closer first, hand outstretched - caught between wanting to reach out and drag Teruteru along and wanting to respect the other mans boundaries.
However after a few seconds Teruteru comes to his senses and begins to creep along to. Hanging near the outskirts as Mitarai and Kazuma sit down at the edge of the huddle. Practically mirror images as they both cross their legs and lean forwards to keep whispering.
“What happened? Why were you gone for so long?” Hajime blinks furiously but twists himself around as quietly as he can. Leaning forward to meet them both in the middle.
“We didn’t want to come back without being successful so we stayed out looking. And then we stumbled upon Teruteru and it took a while to convince him to come back with us.”
“We were so worried. You can’t just dip out like that. Not without checking in to let us know you weren’t dead!” He has half a mind to slap them both upside the head but he doubts that would actually help anything. It would certainly give him peace of mind though.
“Sorry… It was my fault. I wanted to keep pushing on…” Mitarai mumbles, his voice beginning to shake as he gnaws on this lower lip.
“Don’t worry.” He sighs loudly, rubbing his temples methodically, “I’m just glad you’re back. Now we can finally leave this place.”
“That might be for the best.” Kazuma shoots a look over their shoulder. Examining Teruteru solemnly.
“We should probably get some more food to stock up before leaving. Do you think you’re feeling well enough to go looking tomorrow during the day? I wouldn’t normally send you out again so quickly but you’re still the best choices available.”
He feels awful just asking. They only just got Kazuma and Mitarai back and he’s already plotting to send them right off again. It feels wrong - like he simply using them both - but there’s no other way. Their disguises aren’t enough to completely hide them. Only Mitarai and Kazuma are safe enough to head out undetected.
Before replying, Kazuma and Mitarai share a look. Glancing over before wincing. If they wanted to fill him with confidence then they’re not doing a good job.
“Well that shouldn’t be an issue but -” Mitarai begins to mumbles. Poking the tips of his index fingers together.
“We actually saw Nagito just before we arrived here.”
“Nagito?” Why are they…?
Freezing in terror, he looks around the room doing his own headcount. Sure enough Nagito is nowhere to be seen.
What the fuck?! Will this ever end?!
Of course as soon as they get the others back Nagito has to up and leave. It’s like they don’t want everyone to leave this place or something. Maybe he really will need to give them all trackers at this rate. If they have to spend days looking for Nagito again he’s going to kill the guy himself. He’s not exaggerating in the slightest.
“Wait! It’s not what you think.” Mitarai furiously waves his hands. Almost smacking Hajime in the face a few times but he’s too frantic to even notice, “He wasn’t leaving or anything. He was just going on a supply round.”
“I promise we wouldn’t have let him go if we thought he was going to vanish too.” Kazuma’s voice is steady and low. Almost enough to convince Hajime…
“I’ve had more than enough running away to last a lifetime.” He grumbles as he tries to massage the frown off of his face, “Why would he be going on a supply run at a time like this?”
With all the shops closed it’ll be even harder to try and get anything. It’s not like they’ll just be able to shoplift from the stalls. He’s not all that sure he wants to know what Nagito is planning though. Maybe it would just be best to wait and see. Hopefully Nagito has it under control for now.
“I’m not sure. We didn’t stop to ask.” Kazuma frowns. Shuffling where they’re sitting. Wriggling about like they’re sat on a bed of ants.
Logically he knows he can’t blame Kazuma, Mitarai, and Teruteru. It wasn’t their choice. But that doesn’t settle his mind. How much effort would it have been to simply ask him?
They’re not the real ones he blames though. No, he’s the one at fault. You would think after everything he would have learnt his lesson. He should be more than capable of keeping fifteen people in one place. How hard can it really be to stop a few people in their early twenties from wandering off? Apparently, harder than it looks.
“Nagito will be fine.” Teruteru growls from the side of the room as he pulls at his sleeve, “He always is.”
He wants to believe Teruteru is right. After all, he has gone through so much and always survived if nothing else. But the image of Nagito’s mutilated body is still fresh in his mind. He can still picture the sour metal scent that hung in the air. Mixing with the acrid scent of smoke and melting plastic, fabric and cardboard.
Nagito isn’t going to die. He can’t. He won’t. He doesn’t have a reason to this time.
Yet even telling himself that does very little to settle his mind. The four of them do their best to settle down, after all who knows when they’re next going to have time to sleep. But no matter how long he lays amongst the puddle of people, sleep refuses to come to him.
Long after Mitarai, Kazuma, and Teruteru have succumbed, their breaths becoming shallow and steady, he’s still here. Eyes open as he stare at the ceiling. He knows he needs to close his eyes to stand any chance of getting sleep but he can’t bring himself to. Not when he knows what images will be waiting.
So instead he quietly sits up and begins stepping over all the bodies. Maneuvering over the sleeping forms of his friends until he’s free of them all. Settling in for the long night, he sits himself right by the door. Waiting for Nagito to return safe and alive.
~~~
13/06 - 06:11
An hour passes. And another. And another. Still no sign of Nagito anywhere. Bit by bit the sun begins to rise and people begin to wake up but he’s no where.
He’s so dead when he gets back…
The only relief is that everyone is too tired or wrapped up in greeting Kazuma, Teruteru and Mitarai that they don’t even clock Nagito is missing. Letting joy carry them through the morning as they prepare breakfast and begin packing up their things.
A few of them try to coax Hajime over - Ibuki going as far as to physically try and drag him over - but he holds firm. Of course, him sitting here isn’t going to make Nagito show up faster but leaving and trying to enjoy breakfast with everyone else wouldn’t be right. Not when Nagito is out there still. He can eat when the dickhead finally returns.
But the more time that passes, the less and less sure he is that he’s going to return at all. It feels exactly the same as it did when Kazuma and Mitarai first vanished and look at how long it took for them to return. At what point should he start going off looking again?
After an hour or so of being swarmed, Mitarai manages to slip away from the gaggle of people. With two cans in hand he shuffles over to Hajime’s side. He doesn’t sit directly next to Hajime but he does set the can down on the floor in front of him before sitting down an arms length away.
“Kazuichi and Kazuma made it.” Mitarai mumbles into the can as he begins picking pieces out of the can with his fingers. Nibbling on each one as slowly as he can without making a complete mess of things.
“Thanks.” He offers the best smile he can before sweeping up the can.
He can’t tell exactly what it is - perhaps some sort of fruit salad made with the last remaining pieces of fruit - but he eats it anyway. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t hungry. The food goes down without touching his tongue but it’s enough to settle his stomach. Right now that’s all he cares about.
As soon as he finishes he sets the can back down beside his foot and stretches out. Glancing across the room for a moment. Not needing to force the smile that comes with it as he watches them all chat and meander about. Slowly making their way through their food.
“You doing okay?” It seems silly to ask at a time like this but what else is he supposed to say? It’s not like he asked a whole load of questions last night as Mitarai and the others returned.
“Hm? Me?” Hajime smirks a little as Mitarai looks around the room.
“You see anyone else around here?”
“Sorry…I’m okay.”
If Mitarai thinks that that’s convincing then the needs to think again. He just keeps gnawing on his lips and pulling at his nails. Barely able to even meet Hajime’s gaze. Given the situation he can’t help but feel bad for the guy. Hajime was the one who dragged him into this after all.
“Well that sounds convincing. I’m sold.”
Mitarai immediately flushes as he starts to stammer, “It’s….I…We…I don’t know…” His hands drop to his side unceremoniously. Like a puppet with his strings cut he simply slumps down against the wall. Shaking his head sadly.
Guilt washes over him at the sight, “Sorry, I wasn’t trying to accuse you or anything. You don’t need to talk if you don’t want to.” He tries to offer a smile but he gets the feeling it was more of a grimace than anything else. Teasing someone like Mitarai probably wasn’t the smartest thing he’s ever done…
Thankfully Mitarai smiles and waves frantically, “It’s…It’s fine. It’s all just…overwhelming.”
“Them or the situation or me?”
“All of it.” He sighs as he leans back. All the energy sapping out of him.
It’s not like can blame the guy. Overwhelming is definitely one way to describe it all. Going from only hearing about them in stories to be thrown into the middle of it might be a little bit too much. Not to mention it’s not exactly the best circumstances to be in.
“You’ll get used to it.” He tries to sound hopeful as he looks across the room, only to be greeted by Akane and Nekomaru on the floor wrestling as Ibuki flings small pieces of fruit at Sonia and Gundham, “Or maybe you won’t…” These are the people he’s tied the rest of his life too…wonderful.
“It’s -”
But before Mitarai can respond, their attention is called away by the sight of Sonia shuffling over towards the one can left in the middle of the room. Looking between each other they swallow hard. Maybe she won’t put two and two together…
However sure enough, she begins to tap her chin as she mumbles, “Who are we missing?” Looking up around the room she starts to count everyone up. Double and triple checking the numbers over and over.
He should have known Sonia would be the one to notice first. He doesn’t bother trying to hide his wince now. They knew this was coming… It’s not like they could avoid it forever.
“Ummm, well…” Hajime scratches at the back of his neck, searching for any kind of plausible excuse but coming up with nothing. Zilch. Nadder.
Sonia doesn’t need to keep looking though because the answer is immediately handed to her, “Nagito is gone. He left in the middle of the night to get food and Hajime has been waiting for him all night.” Teruteru points straight towards him.
Of course he’s going to throw Hajime right under the bus. He couldn’t have just allowed that one to slide. Would that really have been too difficult?
Within less than a second, shit breaks loose. Everyone breaks down almost instantaneously. The carefully crafted stability crumbling in the wind at the slightest hint of turbulence. Can they never catch a break?
“NAGITO IS GONE?!” Ibuki screeches. Slapping both hands on her cheeks as she sits with her mouth hanging wide open.
He tries to shoot angry glares in Teruteru’s direction but the effect is severely diminished by the fact that everyone in the room is now standing in the way. Some horrified. Others angry.
As Kazuichi draws closer he begins to glare straight at Hajime as if it wasn’t clear that Teruteru (and by extension Mitarai and Kazuma) were also hiding this. Of course they’re all going to focus on him of all people.
“Why didn’t you tell us?!” Kazuichi asks, his eyebrows knitting together. Hajime can’t tell what he’s more annoyed by; the fact that Nagito is gone or the fact that Hajime didn’t tell them. At this point it doesn’t matter which one it is though. All that matters is the anger itself.
“Is he okay?! When is he coming back?” Nekomaru rushes over like Hajime is supposed to know the answer to any of this.
Staring across at everyone he makes a split second decision. One he’ll probably regret but by the time he’s said it it’s too late to take it back, “We needed food and he couldn’t sleep so I sent him off. I asked him to get some good stuff so that’s why he’s taking a while.”
It’s probably one of the dumbest things he’s said to date. There was no reason he needed to throw himself into the firing line. At least it manages to dissuade a little of the fear. They might not think he’s run away but now there are a whole different host of issues.
“You…?” Teruteru scowls and opens his mouth but one sharp glare his way from Hajime is all it takes to change his tune, “Never mind.”
That’s what he thought.
But if he thought this was going to end the heat coming his way then he was severely mistaken. The light hearted mood from earlier has been shattered. Instead they’re all united in their goal of chiding him. The only ones giving him any reprieve are Mitarai, Kazuma, and Teruteru, but even they aren’t actually helping. They simply don’t give him more grief that he’s already getting. God, the bar is getting low…
Just as he’s starting to reach his wits end - ready to actually send out a search party - the main door opens. Who else stumbles through than the man of the hour himself.
He’s said he was just going to get some food but he looks more like he’s gone three rounds with a wall and lost. There is indeed a backpack that’s slung behind him but it’s only slung over one shoulder as the other is sporting a large cut which curves over his shoulder. The fabric of his shirt cut open in that area to reveal with still mildly bleeding cut. He still doesn’t look quite as bad as Mikan but there’s a large bruise over one eye and a rough graze on one cheek.
“Nagito!” Sonia throws her arms around Nagito. Holding him close to her chest. Cradling him as she rubs his back.
“What -?”
“What happened to you dude?” Akane cackles as she looks him up and down, “You look like you were hit by a bus or somethin’!”
“I just took a bit of a detour.” Nagito laughs but is promptly cut off as Sonia backs up slightly. Only just enough to grab his chin. Turning his head from side to side so she can examine him from every angle. Narrowing her eyes at every scrape and bruise.
“What, off a cliff?” Hiyoko frowns. It might be hyperbolic but it’s not the stupidest thing he’s ever heard. Knowing Nagito just about anything is possible. Sure he seems to be walking just about fine but that doesn’t really mean all that much given who they’re talking about.
Sure enough Nagito begins to explain, “I did fall off a building -”
“A building!” Fuyuhiko’s mouth drops open as he looks Nagito up and down.
But as Fuyuhiko’s side, Kazuichi simply groans, “Why am I not surprised…?”
“That does seem like the sort of thing you would do.” Peko hums, rubbing her chin as if this is all just normal daily things to do. As long as he’s not literally passing out on the floor then he’s fine. Right?
Before he can escape, Sonia storms over to him, grabbing both of his shoulders. Clutching him with her death grip she begins shaking him as hard as she an. Swirling his brain around in his skull as hard as she can.
“Look what you did to him, Hajime Hinata!” She chides as if he can actually see anything at all right now.
Of course he should have known he would get no relief when they actually found Nagito. Things can never go that easily. No matter which direction he looks, they’re all against him. Just what he wanted from the day. Whatever Nagito was doing better have been worth it…
“It does seem like the journey was not worth the toll it has inflicted upon unfortunate Nagito.” Gundham grumbles as he examines the injured man. Slowly creeping forward to examine the long cut running across his forehead. Frowning as the blood begins to trickle down Nagito’s head.
He wishes he could disagree but it really isn’t looking all that worth it right now. Is there anything Nagito could have been doing that would make all of this worth it? Nagito would probably say it was all worth it but he gets the feeling they wouldn’t all agree.
“You better apologies to poor Nagito!” Ibuki growls at him. Punching his arm as hard as she can. It’s not exactly the hardest punch he’s ever sustained but the rippling sting that echoes through his arm isn’t exactly pleasant. No matter how much he rubs it, it still feels raw and painful.
Nagito is left right in the middle of it all. Looking around at them all as he tries to piece together what they’re talking about. His brain working in overdrive, “Hajime needs to apologise to me?”
“For sending you out to get food in the dark when it’s dangerous.” Hajime quickly supplies, hoping Nagito will catch on. Although he supposes it matters less that it’s a secret now than it did before. Perhaps he should tell them all he was lying to them…then again that might not be the most stable foundation to build off of.
Much to his relief, Mikan quickly swoops in, darting towards Nagito. She brushes everyone else off with a surprising amount of confidence as she drags him away with her, “Y-You need t-to come w-with me!” He can do nothing but follow as she pulls him to an empty spot on the floor and begins examining him with whatever she has on hand. It might not be much but it’s something. Right now Nagito could do with just about anything.
They all try to keep their distance as she works but there’s only so much they can do about their own curiosity. Ignoring all the others, Hajime pushes through and takes a seat at Nagito’s side. Turning his back on everyone else to give Nagito his full attention.
“Are you feeling okay?” Given the way he looks it’s probably a silly question but someone should probably ask it.
Although he winces as Mikan begins to wipe down his cut, he still manages to smile. Keeping his voice steady throughout, “I’m fine. You don’t need to be worried about someone like me. I got some good food for the journey. Hopefully it will last long enough.”
“That’s not what we’re worried about.” Nekomaru tries to shut Nagito down but it’s short lived. As soon as the contents of the bag are out no one gives a second thought to what they had been talking about before.
Breaking away from Mikan for a second he manages to pull off his backpack to tip the contents onto the floor. They all watch as everything tumbles out. Clattering on the floor around them. Poor Mikan has to clamp her hands over her ears as cans rain down around her. Given that it’s only one bag a surprising amount had been shoved in there.
Although there is an interesting selection of food, the real thing catching everyone’s eyes are the notes and notes of yen. It all tumbles out neatly wrapped in small bundles that are held together with elastic bands. It’s like they’re in some kind of action movie. How they hell did he get all of this?!
“Woah, is that money?” Kazuichi’s mouth hangs agape as he stares at everything before them.
Everyone immediately rushes over to examine the goods. Passing the notes around to everyone so they can all investigate. As if expecting it all to be nothing more than fake notes.
“Must be hundreds of thousands of yen!” Akane tosses one of the bundles up in the air before catching it. Treating it more like her dumb hacky sack than what might as well be a fortune to them at this point.
However as everyone fawns over the money, Hajime notices a slight tug on his pocket. He manages to turn his head just in time to notice Nagito removing his hand from Hajime’s pocket. Slyly disguising the movement by leaning back on his hands. Not even meeting Hajime’s gaze. Focused entirely on everyone else as they loot his spoils.
Cautiously, he slides his hand into his pockets. Nagito hadn’t taken anything from his pocket but he had most certainly slipped something in. Without even pulling out he can tell it’s some kind of plastic bottle.
A pill bottle.
He doesn’t dare bring it out in the middle of the room - there have already been too many questions for one day - but he is willing to bet his life on it being antibiotics. He had almost completely forgotten about the conversation they’d had but Nagito had managed to brings some back for him.
If this was the real reason for him sneaking out in the night then he really is going to kill Nagito. This was no worth getting injured over.
Narrowing his eyes he slides his hand back out of his pocket, clearing his throat loudly, “Where did you get all of this?” It’s not like you can find all of this just sat out on the streets. The last thing they need right now is to have a manhunt chasing them for this nonsense.
“Some of the stores were just unlocked so I grabbed a few bits and some money from the register.” Nagito simply shrugs his shoulders. Oblivious to the wide eyed looks he’s getting from every direction.
“Is it okay for us to take from shops like this…?” Mitarai mumbles from the back of the group. Even now he doesn’t dare close the distance between himself and everyone else. Not even to examine the goodies now strewn everywhere.
Given that this is meant to be their fresh start it does feel like they’ve already completely butchered the entire thing. They are just doing more of the same at this point. But what other option do they have.
Kazuma rubs their forehead as they approach the gaggle and pick up one of the nearest cans. Turning it over in their hand slowly, “Probably not but we need to survive in some way. Until we can make an honest living this is the best we can do.”
‘Until’, that’s might optimistic. It’s starting to feel like they’re never going to reach a time like that. After everything could they really all get normal office jobs? Become waiters or waitresses. Cooks, shopkeepers, butchers? It feels surreal to imagine. Surely any place that even considers hiring them will eventually realize. Perhaps the rest of their life will just be thievery and scavenging. But at least that’s better than the alternative. At least that’s what he tells himself now because he has no idea what else they can do…
In a desperate attempt to distract themselves from the ugly truth, they all finish preparing their things. All pretending they aren’t staring at Mikan as she finishes up tending to Nagito. Leaving him a mummy covered in bandages. Maybe not his best look but if it’s enough to get them out of the city then that’s all that matters.
No matter what, they are leaving tonight. This place will be nothing more than a speck behind them. What comes next? He has no idea. But he just hopes the rest of the journey is easier. Or is that too much to hope for?
Chapter 51: 14th of June
Summary:
Hajime and the others begin to head out of the city
Chapter Text
14/06 - 01:14
As soon as they’re out of the city, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off their shoulders. Just like that it’s gone. It’s sparkling lights getting dimmer and dimmer they further they move away. Dissipating until they become nothing more than flickering stars dancing on the horizon. Alluring from a distance.
With that space between them comes a bright cheeriness he hadn’t realised was still possible. Fresh breeze shifting between them. Pulling them up like puppets on a string. It’s not like they’ve done many smart things in their lives but of the few things they have done, this is most certainly one of them.
Even when the rain begins to pour, they don’t duck and hide. Instead Ibuki runs around at the front of the group her head tilted up to the sky and her mouth open to catch each of the droplets. She drags Mikan and Sonia behind her. Showing them ‘the ropes’ of whatever strange game she thinks she’s playing in her head. Cheering when they somehow manage to score points (he’s not going to ask for details).
Akane and Nekomaru kick at the water sending huge waves splashing across the street. Completely soaking poor Kazuma and Mitarai to the bone as they stumble along clutching their clothes close to them but he’s not sure what they think that’s going to do. Mahiru and Hiyoko only need to see it happen one before they have darted out of the way. Dipping behind the others to maintain some semblance of dryness.
Nagito isn’t immune from the excitement either. Hajime suppresses as smile as he watches Nagito jumping from puddle to puddle. Letting the water splash all the way up his leg. Laughing every now and again as he accidentally stumble into a big one.
The only one truly pouting is Gundham as he wanders the streets like a drowned rat. Trying and failing spectacularly to maintain his dignity as he steps in puddle after puddle. Scowling as Fuyuhiko playfully nudges his arm.
“We cannot keep walking in these conditions.” Peko grumbles as she falls into step beside him. Her eyes still following Fuyuhiko as he dips and dodges out of the way of Gundham’s swipes. Eyes sharp as ever, even now.
“They’re having fun.” Hajime justifies it to himself.
Getting wet and cold might not be the best idea but they’re having fun right now. Isn’t that all that matters? At least for a little bit. After the days they’ve spent in what feels like the dark, being able to just smile like this is a breath of fresh air. The weight on their shoulders vanishing even if they know it’s not going to last forever.
“I fear they will not have fun for long.”
“Soon we’re just going to be cold. We won’t want to walk then.” Kazuichi crows from behind them. Jogging slightly to try and match their faster tempo, “We should find shelter soon.”
“Do you see many places we can use for shelter?” He nods at the street around him. Letting their surroundings do all the talking for them.
Sure enough even they can’t deny it’s emptiness as far as the eye can see. Not a single building marring the horizon. It’s not like they’re still in the middle of the city, surrounded by buildings for the taking. Instead they’re once more wandering the abandoned rural roads, fields encasing them on all sides.
Perhaps it would be better to lower their expectations a little.
“Then we should keep an eye out for the next one we see. Even if it’s still dark out we should take cover.”
It’s hard for him to find a reason to refuse. They’re only stating the obvious after all. That little part inside him wants to say ‘fuck it’ and keep moving on but running head first into things hasn’t worked out amazingly so far.
“Fine. I’ll keep an eye out for any shelter.” It’s not like they have to force anyone inside after all. Even if they do find shelter they can still sit around outside if they want to. Breaking up the journey would probably do them all some good.
Unlike the last few journey’s, this one is considerably hillier. The gradual incline draining them for all they’re worth. Already he can see mountains popping up in their path. Yet more obstacles to tackle.
The rain might not have put a damper on their emotions but as they begin to trek up the mountain they start seeing far more resistance from every direction. Not a single person outwardly complains but the higher they get the slower they begin to walk. Water sloshing in their shoes as their bodies slowly begin to shiver.
He half considers pulling them to the side of the road to try and hide underneath some rocky offshoots however that’s barely better than being out on the road itself. Instead, he stumbles forward, holding an arm up against his forehead to try and shield his eyes.
Peko shoots him a stern glance but he does his best to ignore her. Pushing forward further up the mountain. One foot in front of the other.
It takes longer than he’d like for them to begin nearing the top of the path. The gap between each person widening significantly until he can barely see the others lingering at the back now. It certainly doesn’t help that with the rain is pouring all around them he can barely see in front of his face at times.
In spite of that there is still no denying it’s a beautiful view. Rolling hills disappearing into the distance. Small lights flickering in the distance in every direction. The seeds of cities. They look so small from up here as they dot the horizon line delicately.
Of course he no time to sight see though. He has to force himself to focus on the road ahead as the road begins to finally flatten out. They’re left dancing along the edge of the cliff, a little too close for his own peace of mind. It’s not like the entire road is dropping off into the abyss but the side closest to the edge is beginning to crumble.
Despite the crashing rain he takes the time to pause and wait for everyone else to reach the peak before continuing. Pretending he doesn’t notice the chattering of Kazuichi’s teeth as he tries to stand there without shaking. Metnally chiding everyone for taking so long to get up here.
When everyone finally does make it up they all squeeze together on the road. Huddling for warmth or safety as they shuffle down the road. At least they benefit from being slightly shielded from the rain though.
Just when he thinks it can’t get any worse, the distant flash of lightening lights up the road side. Illuminating their faces for a moment before the sharp crack of thunder hits them. Why would they ever think that they can play around and enjoy some rain? It can never be that easy.
Ignoring the pointed looks coming from Peko and Kazuichi, he picks up the pace. Jogging down the road as fast as he dares with all the surfaces are slick with water. With every thud of his feet he can feel his side beginning to ache again but he just grits his teeth. Ignoring the throbbing pain as he just focuses on each step. Taking it one by one.
Despite his best attempts it gets harder and harder to ignore as time goes on. Pressure building up just behind the eye as he struggles to swallow. Given the conditions it’s probably a miracle he’s even able to stay this stable but he’s not going to complain or slow down. Not when he can hear the others following diligently behind him.
Although it’s not easy to hear much over the pounding of rain and cracking of thunder, he can still faintly make out the sound of the others chasing after him. However when he does throw a look over his shoulder they’re meters away. Drifting further and further back with every passing second. He doesn’t stop and slow down though. Instead he speeds up. If they need him to be the scout then that’s what he can be. As long as they find somewhere safe. That’s all that matters right now.
He’s not sure how far he runs before he sees it. For five minutes? Ten minutes? More. None of that even clicks in his head. All he cares about is the rickety looking barn tucked away at the side of the road.
It’s nestled amongst the rocks, almost completely hidden as long strands of ivy trickle down over the rocks. Dangling in front of the building. Realistically it’s far from nice but after their last ‘residence’ it might as well be a mansion as it stands solid against the onslaught of rain. Not to mention the severe lack of holes sticking through the roof.
Adrenaline flooding his veins, he slides towards the building. Flinging himself into the door as he begins to reach for the handle. His heart is still racing as he twists the handle and it slides right open.
Only as he stares upon the dry space ahead of them does he let out a relieved sigh. Screwing his eyes closed as his hand flutters down to his side to press into his abdomen lightly. Allowing the sharp sting to wash over him for a moment before recollecting himself. Leaning firmly against the wall of the barn as he watches the others gradually approach. Covering their heads as best as they can with their arms and sleeves as they shuffle along.
The moon is still way up in the sky but that doesn’t matter right now. Not as he watches the others rounding the corner. Almost unrecognizable underneath all that water which sticks their haphazardly chopped hair to their faces. The group helmed by Nekomaru and Akane who begin speeding up as soon as they catch sight of Hajime through the harsh rain.
“Come on, lets get inside.” He shouts out as loud as he can. Crossing his fingers that they can hear him over all the other noises. Just in case they can’t he waves his arms dramatically. Beckoning them all forwards.
Thankfully they all bolt straight towards him - sheep being herded into their pens. Almost shoving each other aside in their own haste. A few optimistic folks like Gundham and Mahiru have fully removed their jackets to drape them over their heads. Seemingly not noticing how they’re already soaked through to the bone. Is there even a point in trying to keep themselves dry anymore?
“Come on!” The closer they get, the louder he shouts. Diligently watching each and every one of them as race past. Stumbling frantically into the barn as they hunch over, hands on their knees as they breathe heavily.
As they get in a few of them throw themselves onto the ground. Flopping into the piles of straw with a little too much enthusiasm for his tastes. Peko and Nekomaru are the only ones not looking completely haggard as they remain bolt upright. Surveying the room for hidden dangers or something while Nekomaru crosses his arms and Peko’s hand remains on her sword hilt at all times.
“What is this place?” Nekomaru hums as he begins patrolling the room. With the way he says it you would think Hajime had somehow been here before. Haven’t they noticed by now that he’s in exactly the same boat as them.
“A barn of some kind. It didn’t exactly have a sign on the outside but at least it seems to be abandoned.” He says it like he has any real idea.
He’s not sure what would differentiate an abandoned and occupied barn but the lack of inhabitants is a pretty good start. Besides, this place is right in the middle of nowhere. It’s not exactly the most accessible place in the world. If it is occupied then they’ll cross that bridge when they get to it.
“It’s dry! That’s all that matters.” Hiyoko grumbles as she slowly sits down. Unable to fully hide the way her nose wrinkles up as she makes contact with the slightly dirty looking hay underfoot. Nevertheless she forces herself down. Dragging Mahiru along with her.
“You are right!” Sonia gives her an encouraging little nod before she drops down beside Akane.
In an attempt to distract himself from everyone’s panting as they struggle to recover, he begins to patrol the room. Mimicking Nekomaru as he walks the perimeter - not that there is all that much to examine.
Just like the warehouse, there’s not so much as a chair, let alone beds. They’ll have to use the straw to fashion some kind of ‘mattress’ but it will be a step above the floor at least. The closest things to furniture in the entire room are as few hay bales tucked away in the corner. The rest of the barn is entirely empty. A few scattered poles sticking up here and there but nothing more.
Although they don’t find any people hidden away amongst the hay, they’re not exactly the only residents. The soft scurrying of mice amongst the thick hay is unmistakable. They should probably be careful with their food but how bad can it be for a single night?
Once they’re sufficiently satisfied with what they find, him and Nekomaru stalk back to the rest of the group. Dropping down onto the ground to sit amongst the huddle.
They didn’t exactly have space for towels amongst their limited supplies so they make do with what they have. Wringing out their hair and shaking it too and fro like they’re dogs. There’s only so much their can wring out their clothes though before it becomes completely pointless. The nice dry hay they’d had before quickly becomes damp as they empty out a rivers worth of water all over the floor. Some of the hair dye draining out alongside all that water.
The first one to actually suggest anything useful is Nagito as he slowly peels off his coat and tosses it to one side with all the other wet jackets, “We should change our clothes.”
Unfortunately Hiyoko responds the quickest, “Ewwwww! Do you want to see us naked?!” She squeals as she wrinkles up her nose. Backing away from him a little too dramatically, even for her. Kicking away the hay in her mad scramble.
“That’s not -” Nagito tries in vain to defend himself but all his words are lost amongst the protests. Drowned out without even putting up a fuss.
The only one who seems to be taking the suggestion seriously is Mikan, “O-Okay…” As she stammers she begins pulling up her shirt and -
Hajime instantly turns his head away. Scrunching his eyes as tightly as he can. Nope. No. No way. He’s not going to let himself get chastised for this. Not a chance in hell.
Only when he hears Ibuki shouting and tackling Mikan does he dare open his eyes. “Nooo! Don’t get undressed here.” Ibuki is laying across Mikan, pinning her shirt down to her sides. All her exposed skin bright pink as she fully wrangles the nurse. Pulling her up to a sitting position as soon as she’s suitably dressed.
“Of course Mikan would try to flash everyone.” Hiyoko rolls her eyes and turns around but that’s all. Maybe his expectations have gotten a little too low but it’s almost impressive.
“S-Sorry.”
“Calm down!” He raises his voice, rubbing his forehead slowly, “Nagito is right. We need to change out of our cold and wet clothes and put on dry clothes. We can’t light a fire in here so that’s the best we’re going to get.”
The way Mikan was going about it might not have been right but they need to get out of these wet clothes even if nothing else. As long as they can do that without flashing each other they’ll be making progress.
“Yes, that’s the best course of action.” Kazuma nods along - doing their best to hide the flush decorating their cheeks. Still refusing to even glance in Mikan’s direction - even out of the corner of their eyes.
Clearing his throat, Fuyuhiko rolls his shoulders and sits up straight, “Do we have enough clothes?”
It’s not like they brought a whole wardrobe but there should be enough for at least one change of clothes. As long as they can find time to dry off their clothes at some point it should be fine. At least that’s his hope for now.
Everyone begins rummaging through their bags. Chucking out all their food and leaving it littered all across they hay as they hold up their spare clothes. A few of them wrinkle up their noses but no one has any complaints.
“Should do.” Akane hums as she turns the clothes over once or twice. Making her peace with what she’s left with. They can’t exactly be picky right now, “We changin’ now then?”
The last thing they need is Akane making decisions about when they get changed. The only one worse than Mikan might be Akane herself. They’ve had more than enough stripping for one evening - or is it morning now?
“We can’t just change in front of the boys,” None of them miss the way Mahiru’s eyes flicker over to Teruteru for a moment even though he hasn’t even looked in their direction since arriving in the barn, “we can split by genders.”
It seems almost primitive but there’s no point in arguing. As long as he makes sure not to look in the direction of anyone else then it shouldn’t matter. If that split is going to make them comfortable then he’s not going to argue about it. They all nod along with the idea - after all, who would be crazy enough to be the one to refuse the simple suggestion.
“So what, all the boys go first and then the girls?” Kazuichi hums, looking at Mahiru as if she’s the representative for the women. She’s not the one who replies though.
Hiyoko crosses her arms and huffs, “We’re not going second!” Putting her foot down before anyone else can get in a word sideways.
Wanting to avoid an argument Gundham simply grumbles, “Fine. But if you are going banish us then you must be hasty or we shall make you regret your decision.”
Moving as quietly as they can they slowly break off into two groups. All the women migrating towards Hiyoko and Mahiru - Peko pushed out towards the side. Sitting awkwardly on the outskirts and trying not to meet anyone else’s eyes.
Meanwhile the rest of them huddle up around Hajime. Forming what might as well be a wall in the middle of the room. Only Kazuma is left in the middle of the room. Staring between Hajime and Mahiru with wide eyes.
Taking pity on them he nods towards Kazuma, “What about Kazuma?”
“Kazuma may go whenever they please.” Sonia’s tone is soft and comforting but Kazuma still flushes. Opening and closing their mouth repeatedly as they fumble about. Trying to figure out where to go before finally settling on shuffling over to Mitarai’s side.
No one says a word as they wait patiently for the women to finish changing. Pursing their lips as they sit stiffly. While he isn’t looking around at everyone, there is no missing the stillness that ripples through the group of them. Barely a breath passing through their lips.
Only Nagito and Nekomaru are sitting comfortably. Nekomaru’s legs stretched out as he yawns widely and Nagito hugging his arms close to his chest. Tracing a finger over his metal arm as his eyes glaze over. Lost in thought or something.
Somehow the time for them to get dressed comes far too fast. During the moment every second had dragged and yet as Sonia tentatively taps his shoulder and clears his throat, it seems to have passed in the blink of an eye.
Of course he knew this was coming - perhaps it was the lack of sleep getting to him - but only now does it click that there is no where to hide as he gets changed. That was the whole reason they were faffing around like this but the pieces just never came together in his mind.
This means that he’s going to need to get undressed…
His ears feel like they have been stuffed with cotton as he stands frozen. Out of the corner of his eyes he can see the others turning around and beginning to strip off while the still shivering women huddle together in the corner. Muttering amongst themselves.
Somewhere in the back of his mind he knows that getting changed after everyone else is already finished would be worse than the alternative but a shiver still traces down his spine. Catching his breath in his lungs as he bites down hard on his lip.
In the end he scurries to the side. Making sure he’s facing the corner where no one else can so much as glance his way before pulling off his shirt. Shakily yanking the fresh dry one back over as fast as he can - regardless of how much of a strain it puts on his side. A fresh wave of nausea hitting him as he sways ever so slightly. The world tilting before his very eyes.
By the time he’s turned around once more everyone else seems to have finished. Sitting on the floor once more as they keep to themselves. Barely even glancing in his direction. Only two sets of eyes seem to follow his movements and he wobbles back to everyone else. Forcing his breaths out in something that resembles an even fashion. A meager attempt to avoid drawing any more attention to himself.
The eyes only leave his back when they all begin moving around the room like specters. Attempting to find somewhere to hang up their dripping clothes to dry them while they hide out in here. Stringing them over the posts and rafters - anything they can get their hands on honestly. Given the conditions of the room he doubts it will do anything but leave the clothes musty and damp but what choice do they have?
Water drips down off of them onto the ground below but without an actual way to dry them off this is the best they can do. they just make sure to steer clear of all the clothing when they set up their ‘beds’ for the night. Huddling them all together once again. It’s been working so far so why bother changing it now.
One by one they all begin wriggling down into their assigned spots. Tying their hair back where they can or simply brushing it out of their faces and hoping it stays out of the way long enough to dry off in the night. The clothes have done very little to actually warm them up but considering the alternative it could be worse.
However even when everyone else has settled down, one person remains lurking at the edge of the group. Refusing to lay down amongst the musty hay with everyone else. Nagito.
Without any way to actually tell the time he can’t say for sure how long they lay there like that. But Nagito remains entirely still as he sits in the corner of the room. Waiting until people have drifted off completely before standing up. Creeping across the room to the door and slipping out in silence. Softly closing the door behind him.
Honestly he can’t tell if Nagito actually just assumed he was asleep or if he could tell but either way it changes nothing. As he sighs and forces himself to sit upright he already knows what he needs to do. He can never just lay down and rest. Of course, no one is actually forcing him to get up but he can’t exactly let Nagito wander off. Not after what happened last night. He would be lying if he said he didn’t have any questions for Nagito at all.
In the absence of any jackets, he hugs his arms close to himself and gets up. Stumbling across the room as he chases Nagito’s footsteps. Listening the symphony of the crackling thunder and pittering of rain crashing against the roof.
Sure enough as he slips out of the door he is greeted by the bleary world once more. Rain splattering against the half destroyed road. Tiny droplets bouncing up before fizzling out into nothingness. It must have been at least an hour since they arrived and yet the air is still heavy. The rain refusing to relent. It’s almost impressive.
He never used to care for the rain but there is something almost ethereal about the atmosphere it casts around the world. The warm humid smell hovering in the air. The slight fog making everything hazy. He wonders if this is how it would feel to be trapped within one of those little snow globes he used to see decorating the shelves of shitty tourist shops…
Knowing Nagito, he half expects the other man to have wandered off or to be stood out in the middle of the rain but he isn’t. Instead he’s slouched against the rocky cliff that is right beside the building. Taking shelter as best he can underneath the cover of the rocks and ivy beside the barn. A few droplets still slant his way, splattering on his fresh clothes, but at least he isn’t instantly soaked through.
After all that trouble of getting dressed an hanging up the clothes, they’ve ended up here again…typical.
Still the thout doesn’t linger as he instead inspects the other man. Committing the sight of him to memory as he has his knees drawn up to his chest as his head rests on his knees. Hiding his face away under the mat of thick brown hair which slumps over him. Inky black with the darkness of the rain and the night cast over him. Water still dripping off the strands to form a puddle at his feet.
There is no doubt in his mind that Nagito knows he’s here. It’s not like Hajime is trying to conceal the sound of his approach as he tiptoes along the edge of the barn. Avoiding as much of the water as he can. But even so he doesn’t even lift his head as Hajime draws near. Not even as he slides down the wall to take up the spot beside him. Shaking the droplets of rain that had gathered in his hair off nonchalantly. Wincing slightly as a few of the droplets fly straight into Nagito’s face.
“What are you doing out here? We just got into dry clothes.” He asks softly, closely watching the man as he blearily lifts up his head.
“Hm? Oh Hajime.” Nagito blinks at him for a second before lowering his head again. This time laying it sideways on his knees though so he can still keep an eye on Hajime, “I’m not getting wet. I’m still out of the rain.”
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
Nagito chuckles slightly as he mumbles, “Sorry, you shouldn’t waste your time with me. I just like thunder and lightening. I wanted to see it for a little bit longer.” He throws the excuse out as if Hajime is going to believe that. If it was because of the lightening then that doesn’t explain all his other weird behavior recently.
“You’re not as good a liar as you think you are.” He sighs and leans back against the wall further. Closing his eyes and taking in the sound of the world around him. The pattering of rain. the cracking of thunder. The ragged breathing of Nagito.
“You think I’m lying?” The lilt of Nagito’s voice almost sounds amused. Curious rather an offended by the accusation.
“I know it.” He opens his eyes a crack to examine him cautiously. Peering out from the corner of his eye without fully turning his head, “You disappeared last night too. What’s with that?”
It’s Nagito’s turn to sigh now. He lifts up his head and stares out at the rain, actually taking in the sight of the lightening flashing. Pressing his lips together tightly until they become a thin white line, “I just needed some space.”
“That’s fine but you can talk to us and let us know you know.”
But even as he says it he knows the other man isn’t going to listen. When has he ever? Still he feels like he needs to say it. He might not listen now but maybe one day he will change his mind. It might not be likely but it’s not impossible. Perhaps one day rational thought will return to his mind. The thought leaves a dry chuckle in the back of his throat.
It’s only then that Nagito finally turns his head and fully meets Hajime’s gaze. Any hint of humor from before is gone as he stares straight into Hajime’s eyes. Fishing for something that Hajime has no idea how to provide.
“You shouldn’t bother with me.”
“I’ll choose who I bother with.” He refuses to back down. Meeting Nagito with the same cold stare.
“Hmmm…” Nagito tears his eyes away. Setting his head back on his knees quietly, “You can go inside now.”
But still Hajime refuses to move an inch. If Nagito is going to be out here then that’s where Hajime is going to be, “I don’t think I will.”
Nagito doesn’t even try to argue. He simply sits there, breathing softly. They both relax into the quiet of the night. Letting their minds slip away to the sound of thunder ringing around them.
~~~
14/06 - 06:41
As day begins to fall, the rain slowly dies out. It happens so slowly that he almost doesn’t notice. The cracking of thunder slowly dying down. Drifting further and further away until all they can see is the soft flashing way off in the distance.
As the thunder and lightening begins to dissipate, so does the rain. Getting lighter and lighter until it’s barely spitting. A few stray drops occasionally pattering beside him but that’s all.
Him and Nagito stay and watch the whole. Side by side, not saying a word, for the entire night. If it wasn’t for the occasional twitch and tilt of the head he would assume Nagito had drifted off. But every time he looks over it’s clear the other boys eyes are wide open. Seeing something that Hajime seemingly never can.
By the time the sun is fully up in the sky there isn’t so much as a cloud left to hide it. The only sign it had been raining at all are the puddles scattered across the road. Darkened with dirt and debris. That and the beading of water hanging off the grass and foliage around. The scent of fresh rain still warmly wrapping around him comfortingly.
Slowly but surely soft whispers begin to emanate from the barn. Soft groans and quiet mumbles as people are dragged out of their sleep by the shining beams of light. Those noises quickly followed by rustling as food is pulled together once more.
With other people now up and about part of him thinks he should probably head inside and check in everyone else, however he can’t bring himself to move. Especially not now as the sun begins to dip underneath the rocks and ivy to warm his cheek. The gentle warmth almost makes up for the aches and pains that ripple across his body.
In the end he’s not the one who drags himself back inside. Instead the barn door opens ever so slightly and Fuyuhiko sticks his head out. Forehead immediately creasing as he catches sight of Nagito and Hajime sat down against the wall. Tutting at them both as he shuffles out to confront them.
“What the hell have you two been doing?” Fuyuhiko taps his foot against the ground rhythmically. Each one accompanied by yet another tut. One hand on his hip as he looks between them. Not that Nagito even bothers raising his head up from his knees.
“We’re enjoying the morning sun.”
“What you need to fucking photosynthesize now?” Fuyuhiko raises an eyebrow as storms over to stand in front of them both. Casting a heavy shadow over both of them, “Besides, I know you were out all night. Peko saw you both leaving.” Her jerks his head back towards the barn.
Hajime opens his mouth to answer but Nagito is faster. He still doesn’t move but they can hear his muffled response clear as day, “It was my fault. I wanted some fresh air and Hajime was accompanying me.”
Fuyuhiko pauses for a moment. His lips twisting from side to side as he processes what to say next, “We’re not here to police you or anything but it would be nice to have a little more communication.”
In fairness, if Peko wanted to come and check she had every chance to. It’s not like they were more than a stones throw away from the building. Hell that’s what Hajime had done. But he manages to hold himself back from saying anything he might regret… Pursing his lips to resist the urge.
It’s a relief when Fuyuhiko rolls his eye and turn on his heel once more, “Come on, we’re discussing our next steps. You should take part in the discussion.”
“Don’t worry, we’ll come.” He gently jabs Nagito in the side but the man still doesn’t move. Not even the slightest flinch.
“We’ll be waiting.” With that ominous message Fuyuhiko stalks away. Slipping back to the barn and leaving the door swinging behind him.
As soon as he’s gone Hajime turns fully to face Nagito. Reaching a hand out and resting it on his arm as he yanks him forwards. Trying to pull him to his feet.
“Come on.” He hoists Nagito up with all his strength. Patting him down as he stabilizes slightly, “I’m not letting you sit out here being all weird while everyone else starts making plans.”
Not giving Nagito a choice, he curls his hand around Nagito’s wrist and drags him along. Grip tough as iron even though it’s clear Nagito is putting up no resistance. Instead he seems content shuffling after him diligently. Not even trying to wriggle free as they fall in step with one another.
As they enter the building everyone watches them. Tracking their every movement as they stumble in and sit next to everyone else. Their clothes still mildly damp as they sit pressed up against each other. Doing their best not to get too close to one another.
“What took you so long?” Nekomaru hums as they take their seats.
He ignores the comment and leans forward ever so slightly, “Lets just get to business.”
“Ooooh, that sounds so professional.” Ibuki whistles as she rocks back and forth softly. Flicking her now bleach blonde hair over one shoulder.
“Hajime’s right. We should get straight to the point.” Kazuma assumes a command position. Sitting up straight and tall - drawing all eyes towards them without so much as a second thought. Even though nothing actually changes, there’s no spotlight that shine upon them and no fanfare, but something still shifts in the room.
“What is the point?” Teruteru grumbles as he leans back. Fully laying down on the floor with his head resting on his hands. Trapped right at the edge of the group as he lets his gaze drift off to the ceiling. Still trapped between waking and sleep.
“We need to decide what we’re doing now.” Peko holds herself up firmly but the way she solely focuses on Kazuma is almost as telling as her frantically searching around the room.
It feels like they’re all trapped in a never ending loop. Repeating the same conversations over and over yet still getting no where.
“Aren’t we just walkin’?” Akane frowns. Looking around at them all like they’re the ones who have lost their minds.
“B-But we sh-should p-probably know where t-to…” Mikan twiddles her thumbs anxiously. Hiding her face away by tucking it close to her chest.
He lets a sigh wash through him as he turns to Kazuma, “You’re right. But where are we supposed to go?” Its not like they’re going to be safe anywhere. Everywhere they go will be the same so what are they supposed to do?
Clenching her jaw, Hiyoko growls, “We’re not going to a city again.”
After their last experience he can’t blame her in the slightest. Something quiet and peaceful sounds far more appealing. Images of the soft warm beaches of the Neo World Program come into his mind. That sort of quiet is just what they need.
“Actually I disagree.” Everyone turns to look at Kazuma at once, “It sounds counter intuitive but if we want to blend in and start knew lives then going to a city is the best chance. Cities are bigger and the communities aren’t as tight as smaller towns and village. They won’t think twice about new faces coming into town.”
“What would you suggest?” Hajime tilts his head to one side.
After everything they’ve been through in the city it feels almost cruel to drag them back. But his point makes sense. They’re only going to stand out more going into a tight community. As usual they’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. It always ends up the same…
“Well, we can create some new identities for ourselves. I might not have had to create an identity from scratch but how different can it be?”
Everyone falls quiet and still as they listen to Kazuma's ideas. Cautiously taking it all in.
“And what we'll just get jobs?” Kazuichi shuffles awkwardly on the spot. Biting down on the inside of his cheek hard and fast.
“It is better than stealing. Far less risky.” Sonia forces a smile but it can’t even reach her eyes.
Stealing only draws more attention to them and eventually they’re going to be caught. But what other option do they have? It's not like they can just start their own farm to make all their food. Where would they even find the space or materials? Let alone how long it would take to even get it started.
“We cannot simply request a job.” Gundham huffs with a smooth wave of his hand.
“If we want to have normal lives then we might as well try.” Fuyuhiko sounds almost uncharacteristically optimistic.
Even now it’s surreal to simply imagine a life like that. Having a nine to five job. Buying homes. Getting married. Not needing to look over their shoulders. Nothing more than a cute little fantasy - if it can even be called that. It might sound ungrateful but it all sounds so mundane. So boring. So typical.
“The world is messed up. Its not like they’re going to request ID'S and social security numbers.” Nekomaru shrugs in what he assumes is meant to be a casual way.
They might not request all that stuff now but what if the Future Foundation is successful. Surely they’ll eventually start needing that stuff again. Maybe they should drop by the Future Foundation and have a go at pushing their luck a little. If anyone can help craft them new identities it would be them.
“What’s the worst that can happen?” He says as if he doesn’t already know the answer. Sometimes it’s better to just not think about it. If they go in with a positive attitude then maybe it will work out better.
With a positive attitude they all step out into the warm summers day. Barely a memory of the evening before lingering behind.
Working together they all drag out their wet clothes and string them across the rocks. Letting them sizzle in the sun as they lay down and bask in the rays. Doing all they can to avoid the puddles scattered all over the place.
Him and Kazuichi sit on the edge of the cliff, looking down at the twisting river below. It isn’t a particularly large ‘mountain’ but still, everything looks so small down below. He’s never really taken the time to actually look before.
He would be lying if he said he didn’t want to stay here for a little while. But when the sun begins to set they pack up once again. Folding their clothes up in their bags and beginning another long trek. Marching towards the sparkling lights ahead of them.
Chapter 52: 15th of June
Summary:
Another city hangs on the horizon
Chapter Text
15/06 - 04:23
The new city is somehow both entirely different and exactly the same as the last. It has far few winding alleys than the last and less crowds which is an improvement at least. But the effects of The Tragedy are far more pronounced. Buildings still hanging open, the walls blown apart as far as the eye can see.
They must look a state as the wander down the streets. Unable to hold themselves back from peering behind them at every turn. Huddling close together like a tumor drifting down the streets.
The buildings tower higher than the last city. Looming over them as they walk through the streets. Drenching the tight streets in the thick rivers of darkness. Although he doubts the city is anywhere near as ominous as he’s building it up to be in his head, he can’t shake the feeling at all.
They only breathe sighs of relief when Akane manages to locate a safe enough looking building. After hopping up on top of a dumpster to reach one of the windows, Akane manages to pry it far enough open for them all to squeeze through. One by one they all wriggle in as elegantly as they can given the situation. Helping pull each other up to try and preserve some meager sense of being stealthy.
He hates to think about what people would think if they caught sight of them heaving each other into a sealed building, but based on the fact that they’re not being chased out with pitch forks that probably haven’t been noticed quite yet. Already a step up from their last pit stop…although even thinking that feels like he’s jinxing it.
Nevertheless you can never be too careful. In spite of how quiet everything is, he makes sure to linger at the back of the group. Patiently allowing everyone else to go ahead of him. The entire time he keeps his back to the rest of them, listening to the sound of them grumbling and straining as he attempts to put all his focus onto keeping an eye out for any sign of life drawing near.
However it doesn’t take long before Ibuki is hissing at him under her breath. He assumes she’s supposed to be saying his name but there is no way to be sure. It’s only as he turns around that he can see her frantic waving as she beckons him closer.
Gritting his teeth, he silently heaves himself up onto the dumpster. Holding his breath to decrease the chances of him making any noises. Even with his head bowed, he can’t miss the sight of Ibuki holding her hand out to him but he just pretends he doesn’t notice. Grabbing the edge of the window sill on his own to support himself.
It’s not like he doesn’t trust Ibuki, instead it’s himself he doesn’t trust. As stupid as it sounds, this way he has more control. There is no chance she will feel the clamminess of his palm. The shake that seems to have sunk down into his bones.
Without help it takes a little more effort than he would have wanted to heave himself up but he still manages it. Head full of cotton as the world blurs itself before his very eyes. The sharp pain numbing everything else. It’s lucky his body can move on autopilot as his shaky limbs hoist himself up. Tumbling unceremoniously onto the harsh wooden floor below.
It was barely even a fall - less than a meter - and yet the wind is knocked out of him as he flops onto his back. Staring at the water stained ceiling to distract himself as he tries to force his lungs to take a breath (to little success).
If he had it his way he would just lay there until the world stopped spinning. Until the spots dancing before his eyes dissipated and the feeling returned to his legs. But of course he rarely gets to do things his way.
Although he can’t seem to focus on any of the people in his peripheral vision, he still shivers under the weight of their eyes. A shaky hand gripping his knee as he wobbles upright. Everything spinning before his eyes as if they were still on the boat. Stomach already heaving in honor of it.
While he might not be able to actually examine the room, he goes through the motions as he follows the others through what seems - from his position - to be nothing more than a normal basic house. The stench of must and mold is immistakable but he wouldn’t expect anything different at this point.
Gradually as time ticks by, the haziness that had enveloped him begins to loosen ever so slightly. Still he lingers off to the side lines as Sonia takes charge with ease. He thinks she’s talking about spreading out between all three bedrooms but next he knows they’re just piling bedding into the master bedroom so it’s hard to be sure of anything. He just focuses on fluffing up the pillows and blankets as all other voices become mere background noise.
Out of the corner of his eye he can see Teruteru slump onto one of the piles, face first, but he doesn’t dare check on the other man. Instead he wraps himself up in a cocoon of blankets until he fades into the background. No one so much as glancing his way.
Even though they’ve been walking all afternoon and night, they’re not actually tired. They might all be laying there, sinking into the blankets, but not a single one of them has their eyes closed. All of them simply basking in the moment.
“I suppose, if we are making new identities then we should choose new names for ourselves.” Sonia hums, her hair fanned around her head like a halo. Dark and striking against the fresh whiteness of the sheets.
“What, like new names?” Fuyuhiko’s response is slightly muffled as he curls in on his side. However with nothing else to fill the space it’s still hard to mistake.
“It’s not as if you guys can go around calling yourselves by the names which are connected to the Ultimate Despairs.” Hajime clears his throat cautiously. Breathing a sigh of relief when he voice decides it is going to work.
The less connections they provide to their real identities, the better. Why take the risk when they don’t need to?
Kazuichi sits up roughly, tilting his head to one side as he looks Hajime up and down, “You guys?”
“It doesn’t really matter if me, Kazuma, or Mitarai change our names. Our names were never tied to the Ultimate Despairs after all. Hell, I could go around calling myself Izuru and people would never be able to make a connection.” He hums, wrapping the blankets even tighter around himself until they might as well be choking him.
Although his face might have been plastered all over the news, at least he can still maintain his name. In the grand scheme of things it’s meaningless. A name is nothing. Just a random selection of syllables people associate with you. Yet after everything, he wants to hold onto his name as tightly as possible. Crushing it in his hand. As stupid as it sounds, he feels like if he lets it go, even just for a moment, it will flutter off never to be seen again. Vanishing into nothingness once more.
“Not fair…” Ibuki pouts but even she knows he’s right.
“Sorry…” Mitarai mutters softly. His skin turning slightly pink - although maybe that’s just his constant state of being now. It’s hard to tell when he’s paid the other man so little attention since yanking him away from the life he once knew.
“You don’t gotta apologise all the time.” Akane sighs as she rolls her eyes. Grabbing the pillow from over her head to chuck it Mitarai’s way. Thankfully it just about avoids Mitarai’s head. Bouncing off the floor to the side of him before careening off to land smack in the middle of Nagito’s face. The poor guy is left spluttering as he knocks it aside.
“Oi! Save the throwing things for when we have more space.” Nekomaru grumbles like a chiding parent. Confiscating the pillow even if it means Akane has to rest her head on the floor - not that she seems all that bothered by the prospect.
“What should we change our names to anyway?” Nagito mumbles as calmly and casually as ever. You’d never be able to tell he’d just been pummeled in the face.
“The same way we chose Kazuma’s I suppose.” Hajime shrugs. It has as much weight as they allow it to. It’s not like they have to make it a big deal if they don’t want to.
“I will not be allowing mere mortals like you to determine the identity of one such as myself!” Gundham immediately sits up. His hand resting on his heart indignantly.
“I didn’t mean we actually choose for each other - unless that’s what you want to do,” Although he can already see the plethora of issues that would come about with that, “I was just meaning we were able to choose Kazuma’s name. It’s just as easy to choose ones for ourselves.”
For a few moments everyone feels quiet. Quiet enough to hear a pin drop as the air stagnates. Cogs turning all around.
“Well, if we’re choosing names then I would like a wonderful Japanese name like Naomi.” He shouldn’t be shocked that Sonia of all people is the first one to choose a name. Even the name itself doesn’t actually surprise him.
She certainly doesn’t look Japanese - even with her new black hair - but he doesn’t want to shoot her down. It’s not like it’s impossible for someone to look like her and have a Japanese name so he lets it stand. As long as her name isn’t Sonia it’s already a step up.
“Oooooh! I like that one. It fits you like a sock!” Ibuki claps a little too enthusiastically. He finds himself wincing as his eyes dart to the still open window across the room, “Then I want to be called Aika. Aika Aika Aika.” The name slips off her tongue with ease. Like a song dancing through the air. It’s that kind of elegance.
Not everyone is getting into the spirit of it all though.
“I’m not changing my name.” Hiyoko grumbles, crossing her arms as she turns her head from everyone else. He wants to be annoyed but he can’t bring himself too. Not when he knows how he would feel if he was put in her position.
“But if we don’t then we might be in danger.” Mahiru reaches out an arm towards her, letting it flop limply on the blankets, “We need to make compromises sometimes.”
Hiyoko grits her teeth but doesn’t back down from Mahiru’s stare. Emotions flooding hot and heavy through her eyes as the cogs slowly start to turn. But she keeps her lips tightly pressed together. Not saying a single thing.
It sounds so easy when you just say it like that. Compromises. Too simple of a word for how it really feels. This is what they’ve done to themselves though.
Swallowing the lump in his throat he shuffle slightly to get a proper look at Mahiru. Tilting his head to one side as he asks, “What are you gonna choose then?”
“I…I think…” Mahiru pauses, her legs curling up towards herself slightly as if she wants to simply fold up into a ball, “I want to have the name…Sato.”
No one else says a thing after that. They simply let the silence sit as they one by one fall off into sleep.
~~~
15/06 - 16:09
After days of infrequent sleep he’d thought he would feel better once he actually got to fully rest, but instead he’s dragging his feet. Unable to outrun the yawn that’s chasing him. He’d slept for a good ten hours but even that isn’t enough.
He’s so used to being up well before everyone else now that it’s strange when he finds almost everyone else up and pottering about that morning. Well he supposes it’s actually afternoon now. Only Nagito and Mitarai are left wrapped up in blankets as everyone else moves around in the other room as quietly as they can. The sound of their hushed voices still impossible to completely silence even from a room or so away.
He half heartedly flashes them some smiles and lazy waves as he stumbles out of the bedroom to join them. Walking right past them as he works hard to ignore whatever they are trying to talk to him about. There’s only one place on his mind right now. Clutching the pills tightly in his pocket, he stumbles into the bathroom. Softly shutting the door behind him as he tries not to crumple up his nose.
Considering the last few places they’ve been it’s not even that bad. It even has a shower - not that he would trust any water that did happen to come out of it. Not to mention the rusty taps and dusty mirrors don’t exactly inspire awe. Even less so when he cautiously turns the tap and a brown tinted liquid begins to splutter out softly.
Finding a fresh water supply is first on the list.
Not wanting to spend longer in here than is needed, he wipes off the mirror with the side of his sleeve. Wincing as it all sticks to his arm, refusing to be brushed off. It might not be the clearest image but at least he can somewhat see himself as he forces the pills down. Lifting up his shirt to examine the injury from all sides.
Perhaps he’s just imagining it but he could swear it already looks less red and angry. At this point it’s all relative though. He can say goodbye to ever actually wanting it to look good. Yet another scar that will never be purged from his body.
Sighing he drops the shirt and looks up into the mirror. Meeting his own eyes - although that’s not what it feels like. After all this time he would have thought he would be less taken aback by his own reflection. Sure he might not be looking in mirrors daily but reflective surfaces are everywhere. And yet still it looks like a stranger staring back. Those sunken mismatched eyes turning his stomach…
It’s not just his eyes though, even his cheeks are haggard and gaunt. Matted hair sticking up haphazardly. The more he looks the more obvious the dye line is; jagged, and ugly, and entirely unnatural. Perhaps he should have waited until they had semi-matching hair dye to start thinking about handling his roots… Why would he ever take the time to stop and think things through though?
Grumbling to himself, he grabs a fistful of his hair. Pulling it taut and lifting it ever so slightly. Just enough to catch a glimpse of the jagged scar underneath. They might have had the rain to ‘wash’ their hair but without actually scrubbing there’s been nothing to fully take the dye off his skin. As a result the scar is tinted brown which only highlights it more amongst the rest of his skin.
Closing his eyes tight, he drops the fistful and turns away from the mirror. The conversation from last night still heavy on his slowly awakening mind. Everything they talked about still fresh and heavy. Shackle chained tightly around his wrists. As much as he doesn’t want to, there’s only one thing he can do. The only thing that would be fair to everyone else.
But even though, deep down, he already knows he’s made up his mind, he doesn’t head back into the main room. Instead he stumbles along the corridor. Running one hand along the wall as he traces their steps from last night. Locating the window they had pried open to get in here. Even now it’s propped open slightly. Not enough to fit a finger under but enough to let out the slightest breeze.
Peering over his shoulder, he reaches down and grabs onto the bottom. Digging his nails in to get a good hold. Pulling it up as quietly as he can before swinging his leg up to rest on the window sill. Pulling his whole body up until he’s stood right on the edge. Clinging onto the window frame for dear life.
Now he’s out in the fresh air, he can taste the pollution thick and heavy in the air. A slightly acrid scent digging into the depths of his nose. A metallic taste sticking to his tongue. Somewhere in the distance he can hear people chattering. The soft thuds of shoes on tarmac echoing down the streets as the hustle and bustle of the day gets into full swing.
It’s not exactly a windy day - and even if it was the buildings would shield them from the brunt of it - but they is still a breeze blowing through. Gently rustling his hair as he wobbles on the edge. Trying to maintain his balance as he lifts one leg up to drag the window back down. Sealing it up in case any of the other happen to wander out of the room. Not that he’s trying to sneak off but…he just needs some time to think. Alone time isn’t exactly the most common thing nowadays. Even when he is ‘alone’ it’s almost always surrounded by multiple sleeping bodies.
Doing his best not to think he reaches up and begins hoisting himself higher and higher. Resting as much weight on his legs to avoid straining his abdomen too much. Using the chips in the wall and rests for his hands and feet until he manages to throw a hand over the roof. Yanking his entire body up onto the flat roof above.
Unfortunately he miscalculated the journey a little as he’s greeted by the harsh roof edge at the top. The hard, rough stone digging into his abdomen no matter how he angles himself. Bringing with it another cold sweat that sends the world dancing. At this point he’s just grown used to that as the status quo…
This would probably be a whole lot easier if they just put in some stairs and a fire escape. At least it was enough to wake him up a little if nothing else. Brushing himself down he starts to survey the roof around him. Taking in the sky line around him, thinking back to the last time he looked out from a rooftop like this. At least for a split second anyway…
“Oh,” He freezes exactly where he is. Not even finishing brushing off his trousers, “I didn’t think anyone else would be up here.”
Sat right on the edge of the roof with his back to Hajime is none other than Gundham. His hair wild and unbrushed as it blows in the wind. Tangling more. The still untouched strip of white at the front of his fringe whipping back and forth in the light breeze.
At the sound of Hajime’s voice he twists around slightly. Only enough to sneak a glance over his shoulder before turning right back. Staring out across the skyline once again. Not bothering to even attempt to flatten out his hair. Letting it run completely wild.
“Ha! I should be saying that to you.” Gundham scoffs but it lacks it’s usual energy. If he didn’t know Gundham better he would say it almost sounds soft. Like nothing more than an act he’s pulling up in front of him.
Cautiously Hajime takes a step forward. Then another. Then another. The streets around might not be quiet but they’re not loud enough to drown out the sound of Hajime creeping along the roof top. Still Gundham doesn’t turn around to tell him to stop. Not even as Hajime grinds to a stop just behind him. Awkwardly shuffling from side to side as he tries to work out if he should sit down or not.
Looking up and around it’s not like there are no other roof tops to ‘brood’ on. In fact, there’s a whole selection of them to choose from. Yet here he stays. Loitering behind Gundham like a foul odour.
“Oh yeah?” He clears his throat, kicking at a small rock by his shoe.
“I did not believe there were any people with the all seeing eye amongst our…band of sinners.”
A small smile works its way onto his lips. He’s not too sure why he’s smiling - if there’s a reason at all. It’s just Gundham being Gundham and yet it feels like a weight has been slowly lifted off his shoulders. Relieving the pressure pushing down on him.
“What about Sonia. I thought she had the all seeing eye too.”
“Yes…” He takes a deep breath in. Letting it ripple all the way through his body before he continues, “However she is… more attuned to the light and to mortals mannerisms. She is quite content down there while I am in need of some melancholy ponderings.” That’s certainly one way of putting it. Perhaps a more poetic way than what he would have said.
“You’re right about that one.” He chuckles softly as his hands slip into his pockets. Gripping onto the pin tightly as he stares across the skyline.
Last night when they arrived here this place looked so tall. Each of the buildings looming over them. Hunching over to cast shadows across the roads. Reaching higher and higher into the sky. But now it feels far more open. Sure, that might partially be because they literally are closer to the sky - out of the looming presence of the building - but it’s not like they’re on the tallest building around. Far from it. With the wind still blowing through their hair it’s hard to truly feel caged in.
“Can I take a seat?”
Gundham looks him up and down. Narrowing his eyes critically before giving a firm nod. He half expects him to spout out some long monologue at the same time but it never comes.
Still the nod was enough confirmation for him as he takes his place off to the side of Gundham. Keeping a safe distance between them in spite of everything. Slowly swinging his legs over the edge of the building and he takes his seat on the ledge. Leaving a few meters between them both as they stare off ahead. Neither one of them daring to look at the other.
“What has you up here?”
Gundham tuts, “You wouldn’t understand.” He sets a hand behind him, rocking his weight backwards to keep himself propped up as he stretches the other out in front of him. Reaching out for something invisible. Just out of reach.
“Wouldn’t I?”
Gundham whips his head around at once, narrowing his eyes at Hajime once more. Trying to drag something out of him but he’s not sure exactly what. He’s not sure Gundham knows either. He doesn’t say a thing. He just stares. Peeling away the layers of Hajime’s skin.
“I…” Gundham sighs softly, “I don’t wish to speak of it for now.”
“That’s fine. You don’t have to talk. Silence is fine too sometimes.” It would be hypocritical of him to say anything different. Besides, it’s not like he needs to know.
“You are right.”
Gundham half heartedly kicks at the wall beneath them. Almost beating a rhythm into the bricks underfoot. His eyes scanning the skyline once more.
In a desperate attempt to change the subject he mumbles, “Are there many birds here?”
No matter how much he scans the roof tops around them, he can’t see the slightest flap of a wing. Not even the twigs of a nest are visible amongst the nooks and crannys of the rooftops around them. Considering it’s the middle of the day you would think there would be a little more going on but up everything is motionless. What sort of city is missing birds of all things?
“This is a miserable cursed land.” He practically growls as his feet finally come to a stop, “An inhospitable wasteland.”
He wishes he could disagree but the descriptor feels pretty fitting all things considered. What is he supposed to say though? Oh, it’s fine we’ll be gone soon? But they won’t be. For once they’re actually trying to settle down. Put out roots. Although who knows how long that will last for with how things are going.
The best he can offer is, “Perhaps you’re the one to change that.”
“Change it?”
“Yeah. You’re the Ultimate Breeder right? We might need to be sticking on the down low and avoiding using our talents but if anyone can help bring this place to life it would be you.”
“Of course! Do you underestimate Gundham Tanaka?! I cannot ignore such a gauntlet - even if it is you proclaiming it.” He smirks, puffing out his chest as he sit up straight. An almost mischievous glint washing over him, “However, I will not waste my talents on a meaningless colony we will be abandoning.”
“I mean we’ve said we’re going to try and actually settle here if that’s what you’re trying to ask…” He shrugs noncommittally. Trying is about all they can promise at this point. But if they do want actual changes then they’re going to need to put in the effort. Nothing will change if they keep going how they have been after all.
“How unfortunate…”
It almost makes him want to laugh. Unfortunate is one word to call it.
Despite all his knowledge and skills, this is the one true unknown. He’s known nothing but chaos and isolation. How is someone supposed to go from that into a civilised society? Or at least the closest anyone can get nowadays. He doesn’t know what he’s meant to feel about any of it. He’ll just have to learn as he goes - not that the others can be trusted to know anything about it themselves.
Swallowing hard, he finally forces out the words he’s been turning over in his head all night since the discussion, “If we’re going to be staying here should we…” He lets his voice trail off as the world around him drifts out of focus. His mouth drying out faster than he had thought was humanly possible.
Gundham simply tuts at him disapprovingly. Crossing his arms tightly, “Should we what? Do not keep the supreme overlord of ice waiting.”
“I just mean…everyone else has changed their names and their appearance and here we are.” He nods between the two of them. Raising his eyebrows pointedly.
“Your point?”
He sighs and throws his head back dramatically. How much more forward does he need to be? Does everything need to be spelt out word for word?
“Mahiru is right, everyone else is making compromises so we should probably sort our hair our too.” Hajime reaches up and flicks his hair. Letting it flop unceremoniously back down, “It only seems fair.”
“I…” As if mimicking Hajime, he reaches up and pulls at his own hair. Tugging it softly. “I don’t like this plan but…you might not be completely devoid of logic.” He scowls as he says it but there’s no menace behind any of it. Just complete and utter resignation.
“Gotta look presentable for job hunting.” Hajime chuckles softly. Laughing even harder when Gundham winces.
“Don’t remind me of such horrors.”
Plucking up all of their courage, they shake on it. Binding their contract between the two of them right then and there. It’s not like they’re doing it alone. They have each other and everyone else. If they’re all going to look terrible then at least they’ll look terrible together.
Still they don’t say a word to anyone else as they make their way back inside. Holding their tongues as everyone makes small talk. Arguing over the new names they’re choosing even hours later. Not that he’s listening. It might as well all be static for all the good it’s doing. All their doing is buying time until they can make off with some scissors without looking like actual lunatics.
Of course they could simply explain what it’s for. No one is going to try and stop them - in fact if anything they would probably encourage it. But keeping it between themselves makes it feel less real. As long as only Gundham knows it’s not set in stone. It’s just a thing they talk about.
That all falls away when they’re in the bathroom though. Scissors in hand. Locks of hair falling away. Dancing around him until they flutter to the ground. Gathering in a ragged pile all over the floor. Strands distributed everywhere as Gundham bites down on his lower lip focusing as hard as he can.
He’d thought it might feel better when he actually did it but instead he has to simply screw his eyes closed. Doing everything he can to simply keep himself still and straight as Gundham slowly chips away at the hair he’s come to know. He only hopes that will come with time. If not it’s not too bad a price to pay.
At least that’s what he tells himself as he watches his hair fall away. Yet another flat haired stranger left in the mirror.
Chapter 53: 16th of June
Summary:
They attempt to entertain themselves in their new 'home'
Chapter Text
16/06 - 09:12
It takes everything he has to keep himself from running his hands through his hair as he sits by the window. His head pressed against the cool glass. The soft pattering of rain ringing through the thin surface. The entire pane steamed up as it gets slowly coated in droplet upon droplet.
Gundham is sat opposite him. Their knees only a hairs breath away from touching as they try sit there is silence. Heads tilted to face the window. Doing what they can to avoid reminding themselves of their new looks. An entire day has passed since then but it still doesn’t feel any more natural. No matter what he tells himself.
Everyone had been pretty quiet about the looks when they revealed them (with the exception of Ibuki but Nekomaru made quick work of clamping a hand over her mouth before she could say anything too stupid). But since then it had all been completely natural. If only his own mind could be that way.
Behind him he can hear Ibuki moving about the kitchen. Dancing across the smooth floor in her socks. Bashing into every pot and pan as she slides past. Part of him thinks he should probably check in on what she’s making but it’s not like he can micromanage her every second of every day. Especially not when it’s so comfortable here.
They’d sent Kazuma and Nagito out a few hours ago to start sweeping the streets - testing their luck when it comes to getting jobs - but even with their disguises they figure it’s probably not best to push their luck. So another day stuck indoors it is. At least it beats getting attacked on the streets. They’d rather keep the number of bruises and injuries down to a minimum this tiem around.
At least when they’d been in the future foundation facility they had had things to provide entertainment. Now the best they have is watching raindrops race down the pane of glass. Truly riveting entertainment…
Sure, they could entertain each other - that’s effectively what they had been doing for the last few days - but with everyone silently off in their own corners the chances of that actually happening are low to say the least. By now they’ve probably earnt the right to a little space away from each other - or as much as you can get in a place like this.
And so it falls to Ibuki to maintain any kind of energy in the room. She skips too and fro in the kitchen. Humming loudly over the sizzling of the pans on the hobs around her. Bit by bit he can see the counters get more and more full of plates. Slowly diffusing across the counter until almost every free spot is covered. Even the sink is consumed.
Part of him wants to creep over and peek at the plates but the surprise is almost nicer. Although given their severe lack of ingredients he knows he probably shouldn’t start getting his hopes up.
Instead of dishing out the plates one by one, she waits until she has everyone’s plates are ready to start handing them out. Balancing as many as she can on her arms as she skips around the room. Knowing her it’s a miracle she manages to not shatter them immediately. Even he is drawn away from the window to watch in awe as she just barely manages to avoid complete and utter chaos.
She drifts around the entire room that way, coming to a stop in front of Hajime and Gundham last. Holding out two (now slightly cold) plates to the pair of them. Shoving the places in their hands before they can refuse or say anything at all.
“Here you go!” Ibuki beams proudly. Admiring her ‘masterpiece’ with a firm nod.
It takes him a second to clock what they are but he gets the distinct impression it’s meant to be a pancake of some kind. Flat and thin with about the furthest thing from circle shaped that you can get. But when you look at some of the other food they’d had to eat it’s a long way off the worst. Some warm food is a welcome change after the last week or so.
The true icing on the cake is the decorations though. Even with their lack of variety she had managed to scurry away a few cans of white peaches. Cutting them up neatly and laying them out on the pancake as a wonky looking smiley face. The ratio of fruit to pancake is completely off but he smiles and gives her a thumbs up anyway. It’s more effort than anyone else has put into food since leaving the facility. Given what she had to work with she probably deserves a gold medal.
But even so, he simply leaves the plate on his lap. Barely looking at it, let alone eating it. His gaze drawn back to the window as his hand clenches on the plates edge.
Considering how long it’s been since they last ate he should probably be hungrier than this. However, just the thought of eating now makes him feel a little queasy. The worst part is, he doesn’t have a reason why…
In an attempt to distract himself from the plate of pancakes, he looks around the room. Taking in the sight of his friends as they slowly begin to tuck into the pancakes. Heads down as they do their best to navigate the pancakes with their hands. All the chopsticks and cutlery at the bottom of the sink - probably still covered in batter.
Only Mikan and Sonia are actually sat at the table - Sonia sitting neatly upright while Mikan hunches over awkwardly. Both of them working as hard as they can to stay elegant and composed as they take small nibbles to...varying levels of successful.
Much to his relief - or maybe dismay - he’s not the only one leaving his food aside. As soon as the plates had been handed to them, Akane and Mitarai had set them down. Akane going back to ‘sleep’ on Nekomaru’s lap and Mitarai completely lost in whatever he’s sketching on the scrap piece of paper. He’s curled up at one end of the couch. His legs draw up towards him to make a makeshift easel for him to draw on.
Although it’s no surprise to see Teruteru ignoring his plate, he is a little surprised that Peko also sets hers aside. Going back to absentmindedly braiding and unbraiding her hair. Notches now etched into the strands from the constant movement.
He’s snapped out of his surveillance by a foot tapping at his leg. As he looks up his eyes meet Gundham’s, staring straight into his very soul with a piercing glare. However the entire ‘menacing’ look is ruined as half a pancake flops out of his mouth. Hanging on by nothing more than a thread
“What?” Hajime whispers as quietly as he can. Despite that he can still feel everyone’s eyes flicker over to him for a moment. No matter how quiet he is, in such a silent room it’s impossible for him not to stand out.
Gundham forces the rest of his pancake in before mumbling, “To reject a meal so graciously prepared is to spit in the face of fate itself! Such disrespect may yet awaken a curse far beyond your comprehension!”
As he speaks he crosses his arms grouchily and stares between the pancake and Hajime over and over. The lines on his forehead pulling tighter and tighter with every passing second.
His cheeks warm slightly as he catches sight of Ibuki from the corner of his eye. Watching his as her shoulders sink lower and lower.
“Fine, fine.”
He has no other choice but to shovel the food down. Doing his best to avoid catching a glimpse of his own reflection as he smashes through the pancake in record time. Only just avoiding actually choking on the damn thing.
However, even with that Ibuki doesn’t perk up. In fact, she starts to slump down. Dropping onto the nearest dining chair and smacking her head on the table loudly. He winces at the thought of her poor skull but forces his lips tightly together. She’s probably okay…right? How badly could she be hurt by that?
“I-Ibuki a-are you…?”
But Ibuki doesn’t wait for Mikan to finish before she sits up straight and tall once again. Hands pulling on her cheeks hard enough to almost peel back her lower eyelid, “Ughhhh, what’s wrong with you all?!” She shouts out with a loud groan. They all jerk back slightly, unprepared for the sudden assault of noise hitting them.
“What’s wrong with us?” Fuyuhiko raises one eyebrow as he leans back into the couch.
“Yeah! You used to be fun now we’re all boring! I thought us all living together forever would be super amazing but if this was a song it would be call ‘lonely road of disappointment’.” She groans even louder and slams her head down on the table yet again.
They still haven’t checked if they have actual neighbors in this place. Perhaps that would have been a good move before pulling stunts like this… He hates to think about what people would think if they heard all this. The last thing they need is people snooping around and investigating.
“What do you want us to do, there’s nothing around?” Hajime gestures to the room around them as he foists his plate off on Gundham as sneakily as he can.
It turns out that was the wrong answer though. A mischievous glint sparkles across her face as she jumps up and skips into the middle of the room. Clapping her hands together loudly, “We can talk! We used to love talking!”
“About what? We’ve been together for forever. There’s nothing new worth saying anymore…” Hiyoko grumbles as best she can but there’s only so much she can do while she’s still nibbling away at her pancake. Doing her best to keep her hair from fluttering in the way.
“Not all of us…” She smirks wickedly as she starts to creep around the room. Eyes landing on her unsuspecting target.
Poor Mitarai is trapped on the couch. Too locked into his own drawing to notice Ibuki’s shadow drifting up behind him. Casting him into darkness before she reaches over the back of the couch and digs her fingers into his shoulders.
“We don’t know Ryota’s stories yet!”
“M-My what?!” Mitarai panics. Flailing about as he desperately looks around the room. Searching for anyone to back him up but Kazuma is missing. His best chance is Mikan but she’s too timid to get up, let alone protect him.
“Come on!” She eggs him on, resting her head on the back of the sofa. Her cheek pressed into the side, “We want to get to know you!”
“You are living with us, you should be made to feel part of the group.” Nekomaru only encourages it further.
While he agrees with the sentiment, he gets the distinct impression this isn’t going to be helping anything. However he would be lying if he said he didn’t want to know a little about the guy. The most they got was the little game on the boat, since then he might as well have not been here at all.
Despite Mitarai’s squirming, they all begin to creep closer and closer. Closing in on him as they gather around his couch. Even Mahiru and Hiyoko lean in closer (although Hiyoko still pretends to not be looking his way). The only people who stay exactly where they are are Gundham and Teruteru. Both of them acting as if they can’t hear and see anyone else.
“I…I don’t have any stories…” Mitarai is red as a tomato. Pulling his drawing up close to his chest as if that’s going to be enough to hide him.
“You must have one! You were with the Future Foundation all this time! Give us the juicy gossip!”
“Oh yes!” Sonia claps excitedly, “You must know some exciting stories about Munakata and the others.”
“I…” Mitarai slumps over, burying his face in his knees, “I…spent my time with the Future Foundation making the hope video which was terrible and stupid…just repeating the same mistakes I made in school. I’ve only ever been trapped behind a computer or sketchbook. I don’t have any stories I can tell.” His words are muffled behind his knees but they can all still make out each and every word.
It’s not exactly a surprise to hear. People don’t easy change their ways. Especially not in a time like this. And yet hearing it aloud makes his chest ache. It’s not like he’s much better though. With the exception of the stories from in the Neo World Program, he doesn’t really have any positive stories to tell either.
Nekomaru makes the first move, slowly crossing the room and setting a firm hand on Mitarai’s shoulder. Forcing the other man to look up at him.
“Perhaps this is your time to make stories. You don’t want to go to the grave with regrets!” Nekomaru’s normal manly confidence has dissipated now. Despite his sharp angular features, he looks softer. Younger almost.
All Mitarai can do is nod softly. His head tilting slightly to one side as he begins to take Nekomaru in. Properly looking at him for the first time.
“He’s right.” Akane rests her elbow on Nekomaru’s shoulder. Using him to prop herself up as she sets one foot on the couch. Cramping Mitarai in further still, “Life ain’t over yet. We’re great at makin’ stories.”
No one can deny that if nothing else. Sure, the stories might not be great at the moment but even now they’re certainly making stories. Not many people can say they’ve done the stuff that these lot have done. Hopefully they don’t give him a heart attack though.
“So I heard…” Mitarai clears his throat. Ducking his head away from Nekomaru as he stares down at his hands. Fiddling with the edge of his paper.
“Did Kazuma tell you stories of us?” Peko asks as she leans forwards.
The worlds tiniest smile flutters onto Mitarai’s lips for a moment before it’s blown away. His eyes hazing over slightly as his focus drifts to something far in the distance. Far beyond the rest of them, “Yeah, and Mikan too…”
Mikan instantly crumples. Tears welling up in her eyes as they begin to spill over her cheeks, “S-Sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologise for that.” Kazuichi shuffles closer, patting her shoulder, but it only makes her crumple more. Furiously rubbing at her eyes.
“B-But…”
“But nothing. He’s right. That shits all in the past now.” Fuyuhiko flashes her a reassuring smile but Hajime doubts she can even see it through the hazy blur of her own tears.
Sonia does her best to rub the other womans back but although her tears have begun to fade away her breath is still hitching. Practically jumping under Sonia’s tender touch.
With everyone’s attention diverted, Hajime begins to creep forwards. Crouching down slightly. Trying to get a peek at the drawing as Mitarai finally begins to loosen his hold on it. He has to tilt his head to one side to adjust to the orientation but when he does he can see an unfamiliar anime girl. A small crown perched on her head and a bunny at her foot as she raises a hand up in cheer.
“What are you drawing?”
At once Mitarai grips it tight again. Shoving it hard into his chest as if that will simply make it dissolve. Disappear right in front of them all.
Who knew it was possible for him to get any redder?
“You were an artist right?” Mahiru asks tentatively but still Mitarai doesn’t release the tension rippling through his arms.
“A-An a-animator…”
“Same thing, right?” Akane sighs as she scratches her ear. Grumbling more to herself than to anyone else.
It’s not like she’s completely wrong. They’re still artists by every right but they all know the kind of artist Akane probably has in her mind. Although looking at the drawing there’s no doubt he’s as good an artist as he is animator.
However Mikan is right there, ready to jump in and defend Mitarai at a moments notice, “N-No… A-Animators make m-moving i-images. L-Like a-anime.”
“Ohhhh, anime. I ain’t watched that before.”
Given everything he knows about Akane he probably shouldn’t be surprised. When would she have taken the time out of her life to watch anime? And yet he’s still taken aback. Was there never a time when someone strapped her down and made her watch any? It seems like exactly the sort of thing Sonia would have done while they were in school.
Sure enough Sonia is right there, her mouth falling open at once, “You have never watched anime!” Just looking at her you would think someone had told her that Akane had kicked a puppy. Perhaps this is just as egregious in Sonia’s eyes. It’s probably best he doesn’t try to think too much about what is going through Sonia’s head of all things.
“Not everyone has the same passion as Sonia.” Ibuki hums but that does nothing to settle Sonia’s horrified expression. She simply stands there open mouthed. Unable to shake the pure betrayal settling over her.
“You watch anime?” Mitarai cocks his head to one side. Like a switch has been flicked in his head, he slowly begins to release some of the tension built up in his shoulders. Slowly loosening his grip on the paper as he starts to slump over a little.
Sonia’s love has become so well known at this point that he simply assumed Mitarai would know. Of the hundreds of stories Kazuma and Mikan must have told surely one of them brought it up. But perhaps expecting Mitarai to remember that would be a little too much.
“You bet she does.” Hajime chuckles as a smirk rises to his lips. It’s immediately wiped off his face when Sonia shoots him a dirty look. Narrowing her eyes as she glares straight into his soul.
“I am more partial to j-drama, however anime is also wonderful.” She flicks her head over her shoulder as she starts to skip across the room towards Mitarai.
As she gets closer Hajime reaches over and gently grabs onto the paper. Pulling it free in one smooth movement. Not even wrinkling the paper as he lifts it out of Mitarai’s reach, “You should check out the drawing Sonia.”
He holds the sheet out to her. Letting her reach forward and take it as Mitarai is left scrambling. Eyes wide but he doesn’t chase after her. Instead he covers his head with his arms. Completely hiding himself from view. At least his face anyway.
“Ohhhhhh wooooow!” Sonia gasps as she holds up the drawing. Her eyes might as well be twinkling. Her mouth completely hanging open as she gapes at it. Holding it delicately. Complete reverence washing over her.
At once everyone rushes forward. Pushing past each other to try and get a good look as she holds it up to them all.
“Woah, you’re good.” Akane gives him a pat on the back but that only makes him whimper more. Sinking further into himself than Hajime had thought was humanly possible.
“I might not be an artist but it looks very impressive even to me.” Peko looks entranced as she examines the image. Turning around to sing Mitarai her praises, although
Even Hiyoko can’t hide her praise as she crosses her arms tightly, “I-It’s…fine or whatever.” That might as well be calling it the Mona Lisa for Hiyoko.
Rushing to Mitarai’s side, Sonia crouches down and gently hands him the drawing again. Sitting well below his eye line as she asks, “Is this princess Aiko?!”
At once Mitarai sits up, “You know princess Aiko?” Now it’s his turn to let his mouth drop open as he examines Sonia in a whole new light.
“Of course!”
Clearly they didn’t know what they were bringing into the world with this pairing. If they thought Sonia had been crazy about anime before then he has no idea what she is now. They might as well be speaking an entirely different language at this point. Lost in their own world as everyone else fall away.
Yet he struggles to actually find it annoying this time. It’s like something has been unlocked inside Mitarai. He had no idea the man could even speak this much. Every time he thinks it’s ended he opens his mouth again. More words spilling right out.
At least it’s better than the silence though.
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