Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Prelude

Frank had never been one for goodbyes. He felt that the idea of having to announce that you wanted to get the hell out of somewhere, that you were tired of everyone, was just plain awkward. So for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why he felt so guilty about not having said goodbye to Mel before going to rehab. Sure, she had visited him when she found out where he had gone (she had to practically waterboard the information out of Santos), but that didn't stop the feeling of guilt digging into his bones and making a home there.

Present Day

“I mean, really. You're telling me that he never once asked you to bring him porn or something? Don’t lie to me, ER Barbie. It’s not a good look,” Santos teased, peeling her gloves off and dropping them into the bio- hazard bin.

Mel grimaced, not wanting to imagine that. “No, he never asked me that. I-I don’t know if i would be permitted to bring that, anyways.”

Mel had always had a love- hate relationship with Santos. She was a great doctor and she was amazingly smart, but she could also come on very strong sometimes, particularly with Mel.

“Well, I'm sure he was at least thinking about it. 10 months in prison equivalent with no material? Dude must have been going nuts. Ha! Hey, I'm gonna take the guy in South 20. Splitting headache. Hopefully I'll get something cool, like a sub- arachnoid tumor or something,” the black haired girl made finger guns at her as she walked to triage, holding a hand up as Mel attempted to correct her.

“Were supposed to take them in the… order that they arrived.”

It’s no secret that Mel had been visiting Frank in rehab. Sure, other coworkers visited him sometimes, especially Robby, when he was feeling extra guilty. Mel was different. She had always been different. He knew that. He didn't give her that pitying stare, and the fake kindness and consolation. It was real with her, always. While in rehab, he would email her back and forth, constantly. He just needed some semblance of normalcy; to feel as if this reality wasn’t the one he was in. So, they talked. Often.

They would talk about cases that Mel had gotten (while carefully avoiding hipaa) and she would get his opinion on them: she had always felt better about a treatment plan when he agreed with her: she had a tendency to doubt her decisions, even when others had agreed with her. She never truly felt 100% in her decisions unless it was him that approved of her ideas.

Mel plopped down in a seat, swiping her ID badge in the computer and started to chart. Well, that is until her phone rang. It startled her but she fished it out of her pocket, checked the screen, and holy shit, it was Langdon. She quickly stood up, taking her phone and hurrying outside to the ambulance bay to answer it. She picked up the call as if fate herself was dialing, fumbling with the phone and pressing it against her ear.

“Hey, Langdon!”

She cursed at herself internally for sounding too giddy while answering it. Though, at the same time, she knew Langdon, and she didn't have to be embarrassed.

“Hey, Mel. Thank god. Today's been hell. I've been stuck in damn HR meetings all day, and my back is killing me. Anyways, sorry. You get off soon, right?”

She knitted her brows at the mention of his sore back. She made a mental note to bring him some Tiger Balm later. “Yes, I get off at 7. Uh- are we still planning on dinner tonight? At my place?”

“Of course. It’s the one thing I've been looking forward to all day. Do you want me to pick anything up on my way over there? Is Becca eating with us?”

Mel loved the way that Frank was with Becca. She didn't have to tell him how to act, and he wouldn't judge them, at all. Most people have decent intentions, but she never misses the looks they get, or how people tend to baby Bec. Frank never did that with Bec, and he would listen to her, without pretense. That caused the warm feeling in Mel’s chest to spread. It always seemed to be there with him. “Uhh, no. I don’t think we need anything. And no, Bec is staying at a friend's house tonight.”

“Ah, okay. How was the shift? And hey, how’s Robby?”

“It was alright today, it just never slowed down. Oh! I had a little girl that had a bunch of porcupine needles in the sole of her foot, and more up the anterior side of her leg from when she fell onto it and I got to pick each needle out. It was awesome!”

That was one of Frank’s favorite things. Hearing her get excited about the things that other doctors would find boring, and slough off to a nurse. He smiled, big, and he was sure she could hear it. “Well, damn. It looks like you hit the jackpot. I have to go now, but text me if you change your mind and need me to get anything, okay?"

“I will! I'll see you tonight!” She gave a quick goodbye and hung up, turning around to return inside. The noises didn't seem so loud, and tucked away in her thoughts, she thanked Frank for that.

Chapter Text

Prologue

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, Abbs. Where the hell is my jacket? Come on, man.”  Shit, shit. Langdon couldn’t find them. Fuck, his back was killing him. He needed them. Damnit, where did he put them?  “Frank, what the hell is wrong with you! Why do you need your jacket so damn bad?” Her words barely registered in his mind. His focus narrowed to a single point, all he could think about was those little blue pills, about his head, about that child that got brought in, how she was so burnt, and oh God, the smell-

Present Day

Mel never claimed to be a good cook.

She stood on a kitchen chair, waving at the smoke alarm with a rag, and also trying to turn off the oven so that the baked ziti she made- or, at least tried to make- didn't go up in flames and get them another trip to the emergency room. As she was trying to not burn down her entire apartment complex, she heard Frank’s knock at the door, and groaned in frustration.

“One sec!” She struggled to get down from the chair, and absentmindedly let go of the rag that was separating her bare hand and the 400 degree oven. 

All at once she felt the searing hot pain on the palm of her hand and yelped, dropping the glass pan onto the floor and quickly stepping down from the chair, stumbling to get her balance. “Oh- damn.” She hissed in a breath, the alarm still blaring, and she heards Frank’s knuckles rapping at the door once again, and his muffled voice. “Mel, what the hell is going on? ” 

Mel quickly ran to the door and opened it. It felt like everything was too much- the dragging of fabric against her skin, the incessant beeping from the alarm, the heat from the oven, the searing pain from her hand-

“Mel, Mel, Mel- Hey, look at me. Breathe. You're okay.”

Frank’s hand on her shoulder, and his other gently cradling her burned one, pulled her focus back to the moment at hand.

“Mel, you’re okay. I need you to sit down, I'm gonna get a wet rag for your hand. Just sit down, okay? It’s okay.”

She stared at him, eyes wide and unblinking, her body frozen, her mind unable to catch up to what was happening. He said nothing, only moved with quiet urgency, guiding her backward until the backs of her knees met the couch. The pressure of his hands were barely there—gentle, almost weightless—but it carried an insistence that made her sit, breath caught in her throat, heart pounding loud in her ears. She pressed her non- injured hand against her chest, a calming mechanism that she had learned long ago in therapy.

She watched Frank move with urgency, but a calm one- he turned off the oven and picked up a kitchen towel that hung on the rack above the sink, turning the faucet on and running the towel under cool water.

She sat on the couch, trying to catch her breath. She could feel the burning in her hand, but more she felt the burning of smoke in her nostrils and the pounding of her heartbeat in her ears. She felt staggered, not being able to catch her breath.

“Jesus, Fuck, Mel- hey, your fine. Let me see your hand.’

She felt the weight of him as he sat down on the couch next to her, feeling his hand gently envelop her burnt hand. He pressed a cool, wet rag to her burn, and she hissed, closing her eyes tight. “I didn’t.. We should probably o-order in, I think it’s.. Too burnt,” she said. She felt unstable, shaky. Why were her hands shaking?

“Okay,  okay. I'll order some food. Mel, you're shaking. I need you to take a deep breath. Where is your first aid kit?” He knelt on the ground in front of her, cradling her hand, gently pressing the wet rag to the burn, his other hand on her knee, thumb smoothing out the fabric.

“Um, It’s… It’s in my bathroom, but it's messy. I-I can go grab it.’ She went to stand up but he used his hand on her knee to softly push her back down.

“I got it, It’s okay. I'm used to being messy. Just hold the rag against your hand, okay? I'll be right back, stay here, don't move.” Frank stood and, with some reluctance, lifted his hand from her knee before heading toward the bathroom. As he moved down the hallway, he instinctively knew which door was hers—he’d been there before, back when she was sick and he looked after her. He tried not to think about that too much, about how hard it had been to see her like that. He opened the door, and she was definitely right, her room was a bit of a mess. He walked into her bathroom and saw a few pieces of clothes on the floor, and one of which was her bra. He felt his face heat up a bit as he tried not to think about it too much.

He opened up the cabinet, grabbing the first aid kit and quickly walking out, back to a scared looking Mel on the couch. Fuck. Seeing her like that, eyes wide, scared, her hand starting to blister- it made him feel helpless. He went through four years of medical school, he’d seen countless burns, most of them worse than this. But seeing her like that made his hands feel useless. It knocked the breath out of him. He didn’t think too much about that.

He took a deep breath and walked his way back to the living room where she was still sitting, looking completely out of it, like she wasn’t even there. “Hey, It’s okay, I got it. Let me see your hand.” He kneeled back down in front of her, gently taking her hand and laying it palm up, resting on her thigh. He gently examined her hand and clocked a second-degree burn on her palm and the middle fingers. The skin was starting to blister, and there was some swelling around the area. She most likely didn’t need to go to the emergency room, but he already knew he was going to make Robby look at it, just to be safe. “It’s okay, it's just second degree, about partial thickness. I can just fix it up with the first aid kit. Breathe, Mel. You’re okay.”

Chapter Text

Prologue

“Um.. Hi. My name’s Frank.” Frank stood up at the AA meeting, his first time sharing. His hands were trembling, unable to sit still. He rubbed the small space between his ring and pinkie finger, attempting to calm himself. “I'm a drug addict. Benzos, specifically. Im- well, I was married. I have two kids, they’re four and three. Um.. I don’t really know what to talk about. Maybe about how I would steal drugs from patients? Or how I fell in love with a resident, who’s the exact opposite of my ex wife? I-I don’t know.”

Present Day

“Ouch.”

It had been about thirty minutes after the whole hand burn/ burnt baked ziti fiasco had gone down, and Mel felt a bit better. She had Frank to thank for that. She hadn’t had a panic attack like that in a while, but when she did have them, they would usually come silently, and were mostly unnoticeable. To anyone but Frank. He knew the look on her face- more so, the look that wasn’t on her face- meant that her heart was racing and thumping so hard in her chest that she felt if she spoke, It would leap right out.

He knew how to help her, and so when he walked in and saw her burned hand and that same look on her face, he jumped right in. He was good for the most part, calm and steady: but seeing her hand, her actually in danger, chipped at his demeanor. He didn’t want to think much about that. 

They both sat at her kitchen table, and he was changing her dressing, applying a touch of Neosporin and some Vaseline, and reapplying the gauze. He looked at her through his lashes, still finishing up his hands. “Hey. How are you feeling?”

“Oh, um.. well, my hand is still kinda painful, but the Ibuprofen helped some.” The corners of her mouth turned up, watching Frank tend to her hand.

He smiled a bit, laughing slightly. “Well, that’s great. But I meant emotionally.”

She looked down, sniffling a bit. Her head always felt all foggy after a panic attack, and honestly all she wanted to do was put her headphones in and stare at the ceiling until the uncomfortable feeling passed. Nevertheless she smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Yeah, I’m okay. I think it just shook me a little.”

His eyes met hers and he noticed right away, the tone of her voice, the way she was staring at her hand, instead of at him, or at the space beside him. “Mel.”

Damnit.

He saw right through her.

“It's just.. I haven't had a panic attack in a while. I feel like I.. messed up somehow, I don't know, like I-I failed myself. It’s silly.”

“It’s not silly.”

His words caught her off guard. She was not used to people understanding her. If she didn’t know and trust Frank so well, she’d think he’s lying.

“It’s not silly. And you did not fail yourself. Mel, you didn’t. You had a panic attack, you didn’t relapse on benzos.”

She shot him a look. He knew how she felt about him joking about his addiction.

“Sorry, sorry. But you know what I mean. You didn’t relapse; something scary happened and you got scared. That’s normal. It’s okay.”

Mel sniffled, quickly wiping a tear that threatened to fall with her non injured hand. “Thank you, Frank. You’re kind.”

He looked down and finished up her bandages, not letting her see the way his face flushed at her sentiment. “Okay, well, you’re all done. I'll have Robby check you out at work tomorrow- no, don’t say no- to make sure that everything is good, and I’ll change your dressings every day. Got it?”

She nodded, wanting to protest about making Robby check her burn, but she knew he would make her.

He stood up, throwing away the trash and clapping his hands together. “Okay. I am gonna run down to the store and get that stuff that gets dried food and crap out of anything, and I mean anything. Having 2 kids under the age of four taught me a lot about cleaning. Anyways, I’ll pick something up while I'm out to eat. Do you need anything before I go?”

Mel listened to him talk fast, eventually catching up and shaking her head back and forth. “Um, no. I’m good. But, Frank you don’t have to do that for me, I-”

“Lah lah lah, I can’t hear you, I’m already gone.”

He grabbed his wallet and headed out the door to his car. On the way to the store he put the order in at the chinese place around the corner he knew was her favorite, so that it would be ready once he got done shopping. Frank made it to the grocery store, grabbing a cart, just to be safe. He went down the aisles, making it to the one with all of the cleaning supplies and grabbing the paste he mentioned, and also a nice brush, and a new pack of sponges. He also went down the silverware and dish aisle, grabbing a new glass pan to replace the one that had shattered. He also got her another pack of the pink sugar free Red Bulls, since yesterday she was complaining they were always sold out, and she couldn’t find them. He also grabbed her another pack of gum, the same kind he saw her chewing at work and in the car all the time, and before he knew it he had a cart full of groceries, of stuff he’d seen in her fridge, of stuff he knew Becca liked, and even a few things she’d been meaning to try, but she didn’t want to waste money on, because what If she didn’t like them-

Oh, wow. Frank needed to get back.

He made it out of there quickly, avoiding other things he’d be tempted to grab and loaded the bags into the car, driving to the chinese place and getting Mel’s favorite things and then loaded all of that into the car, and finally made his way home- back to Mel’s, he meant,

As he made his way up to the apartment dorm, all of the many bags around his forearms and hands, he noticed the door was still unlocked, and there was some shuffling going on, so he gently nudged it open with his foot and saw a sight to behold.

Dr. Mel King, in pink fuzzy socks, a hoodie and Mickey Mouse pajama pants, hair down and flowy, with her Airpods in and blasting music, singing into a wooden spoon that he was sure was meant to be a microphone, singing a song he’d recognized, Catfish by Doechii.

“Tell a bitch, Hoorah! Step up in this bitch, I look too fly! Copped the Dior shit o- Jesus!”

Mel turned around and saw him standing there, her eyes going wide and face flushing, completely embarrassed that he saw her like that, but also more concerned with how many bags Frank was holding.

“You scared me! Frank, what did you get! I thought you were just going to get something for me to clean with!”

“You listen to Doechii, huh? I mean, I don’t blame you. She’s great, and Catfish is catchy.”

Chapter Text

Prologue

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. Fuck. Robby knew. The look on Santos’ face, the remark that Collins had made about being a junkie, they knew, they all knew. He pressed his back against the door of the bathroom, ensuring the door was locked before digging through his pockets, looking for the little baggie he had snagged from his locker before heading to the bathroom. He popped one in his mouth, filling up his hands with water from the sink and taking a big gulp. He stared at the man in the mirror. He didn’t recognize him.

Present Day

“Well, I’m just saying, no judgment here.” Frank laughed, amused at seeing her so embarrassed about having been caught in the middle of an impromptu dance party.

She flushed, her eyebrows threading a bit and glaring at him. “Don’t judge me, It’s how I relax. Hey- what did you get? I-I thought you were just going to get cleaning supplies and some food. That’s a lot.” She walked to the front of him, opening one of the bags that hung off of his muscular forearm. “I- is that Pink Redbull? How did you get that?”

She smiled, and it made the almost 100 that Frank had spent look meaningless. “I just saw a few things you needed, I saw they had those stocked, and a few other things. It’s no big deal. I- Mel, stop it.”

She had walked to a few hooks on the wall that held her purse, coat and a few other things and fished out her wallet. He dropped the bags down, walking over to her and putting a hand over hers, closing up her wallet and dropping it back into the bag. “Mel, don’t give me your money. Come on. Don’t worry about it.”

She wanted to protest, to give him her money, but the way he put his hand over hers, warm and firm, rendered her unable to do anything but slowly nod and look into his eyes. Beautiful blue. Mel felt her heart thump, thump thump in her chest as she felt his hand on hers, unmoving. Surely, she didn’t feel this way all because of a simple gesture. “Are you sure, Frank?”

He felt his heart stutter at the name. It was always Dr. Langdon or Langdon, only Frank when she was upset with him, worried about him, or that one time when they got smooshed together on the couch too much, and her arm pressed against his felt like it could pull him out of the darkest places. “Mel. I’m sure. Honestly, you have nothing to worry about. Now, I got food from that Chinese place you love so much, so please, sit down and eat while I put all of this away.”

“Frank. You don’t have to-”

“Mel. I'm going to.”

“... Did you at least get-”

“Yes, extra duck sauce. It’s all in the bag.”

She looked down and smiled, trying to avoid him seeing her face as her cheeks flushed.

“Thank you.”

“Of course, Mel. Sit down and eat, please, you look like you're about to keel over and pass out.”

—--------------------------------------

Hours later they were on the couch, under one blanket which felt strangely intimate, watching 10 Things I Hate About You again, but neither of them were complaining, because they could watch the movie 100 times over and not get bored. Have you seen Heath Ledger?

Frank glanced over at Mel, still facing the screen, but his eyes roaming lazily over her side profile. The way her eyebrows fluffed together a bit as she focused on the movie, the slope and tip of her nose that he strangely wanted to bite, which he didn’t think much about, and the curve of her lips, and the slight natural pout of her lower one. He thought about how at work, when she was stitching someone up or charting something, the tip of her tongue would rest between her lips and stay there. He didn’t know why he paid so much attention to her lips. 

He pulled his attention back to the screen, albeit grudgingly. 

After a while, the movie is almost over and he glances over at Mel. Her head is dropped to the side, half on her shoulder and half hanging off, lips slightly parted and breathing through them, lightly snoring. He smiled, reaching out to push a stray piece of hair that had fallen out back behind her forehead. He felt her fall to the side slightly which caused her to subsequently drop her head onto his arm. He tensed up, feeling her soft breaths against his bicep and he tensed his jaw, looking down at her.

Shit.

She’s beautiful.

Chapter Text

Prologue

His key slotted into the door, the heavy weight in his stomach unmoving. Abby had told him she needed to talk to him when he got home, and ever since then, there had been this heavy concrete weight in his stomach. He pushed the door open and Abby was sitting at the dinner table, and he felt his heart beat against his ribs as if it was trying to escape when he laid eyes on the small baggie of blue pills in front of her. “Abs, I-”. She held a hand up, not daring to look at him as she spoke. “Tanner found them. In your drawer. If I wasn’t there, he would have taken them, Frank.” He sat down next to her, her black hair pulled back into a neat, smooth braid, which he knew she only did when she was exhausted, or furious. He couldn’t tell which it was.

Present Day

Oh, wow. Her hand really did hurt. Mel’s eyes fluttered open, searching around the room. She felt something warm under her head and on instinct leaned into it, taking a deep breath and willing her eyes to stay open. After a few more moments she rubbed her eyes and sat up, feeling a few joints in her shoulders and neck pop as she did, bringing a hand up to rub absently at the side of her neck. She looked around.

Oh.

Fuck.

She had fallen asleep on him. He was fast asleep, half laying on the couch and half sitting up, and she was previously laying in front of him, and she noticed a red mark on his bicep where her head must have been. Huh. Her eyes drifted to his face, giving herself the grace to inspect his face for a moment. A jawline that she was sure could cut, that she wanted to run her fingers down. Soft lips, that she found her eyes often drifting to. A little bit of stubble on the sides of his cheeks that she found herself wondering how it would feel scratching against her neck, or her chest, or her thighs-

No, Mel. Not right now. That’s inappropriate.

His dark hair swept over his forehead and stood up in crazy ways and she smiled, finding her fingers itching to run through it and clean it up. She gazed at him for another moment before letting out a breath and standing up, heading to the kitchen. She opened her fridge and her eyes caught on all of the groceries that he had got her, and the guilt ate at her. He had told her not to worry about it, but she did. How much would that have cost? She had to pay him back one day, soon, or else he’d be expecting something, and God, she hated that feeling. She knew Frank wasn’t that guy. He’s respectful and kind and she felt safe around him and Mel, he’d never do that, he’s Dr. Langdon. She swallowed the lump in her throat, or at least tried to and closed the fridge, wanting to just pee instead, and get back to sleep. She checked the clock and saw that it read 2:44, and ugh, she was tired, and her hand was throbbing, and she just wanted to get back to sleep, to his bicep as a pillow.

Mel eventually turned around to the bathroom door after thoroughly inspecting herself and her hand in the mirror for at least ten minutes. She pulled open the door and stepped out, being met with something hard and warm and something that smelt good, like men's cologne, and oh, would you look at that, It’s Frank again. “Oh, I- sorry. Did I wake you?” She took a step back, more so for her own sanity than actual willingness to.

He looked down at her and she felt him reach out, steadying her with a soft hand on her arm. Not pushing, not pulling, just… there. She didn’t move away. “No, no. Just wanted to make sure you’re okay. Are you?”

She swallowed hard, nodding, having to look up slightly to make eye contact with him. “Yes- Yeah, I am. I just had to pee.” Why did it feel so difficult to speak?

He nodded, eyes scanning over her body. She only had on a t- shirt and shorts, but it might as well have been a bra and panties, the way his eyes felt on her. She suddenly felt so self aware, self conscious.

“Come back to sleep. You look exhausted.” He squeezed her arm with his words and let his hand drop, walking away and back to the couch they had been sharing. She took a deep breath, closing the bathroom door behind her and walking back to the living room where he was laying down again. Mel suddenly wondered if he wanted her back there, if she should lay back down next to him, or if he was just staying like that to be nice, or if she made him-

“Mel. Lay back down, It’s okay, I don’t mind.”

She blinked a few times as he patted the spot in front of him. He was laying on his side like before, his arm out again for her to lay on. She muttered an apology, or something, and walked back, laying down in front of him. Her heart was racing, she felt her pulse fluttering against her wrist. Mel laid her head back down on his arm and sighed, her eyes drifting closed. The last thing she felt before she fell asleep was his arm resting on her hip.

Chapter Text

Prologue

“Well, for starters, I can't sleep for shit. And when I do, I get the craziest nightmares. Feels like im always fuckin’ shaking, can’t sit still. When i even think about eating anything i get nauseous as fuck, and when i do eat, i throw it right back up. Sweatin’ all the fucking time, i can’t even breathe.” As he rattled off his symptoms she named them in her head, as if it would be easier to deal with. Insomnia, hallucination, restlessness, loss of appetite, lethargy, nausea, vomiting, sweating. Any half decent doctor would recognize this as withdrawal from 10 miles away.

Present Day

“Uh, uh- H-Heart rate is 62, blood pressure is, um, 64 systolic and 41 d-diastolic-” Damn it, why couldn’t she think? She knew this, she knew what to say, so why wasn’t it coming out?

“Dr. King, this is damn vitals, are you a resident or a med student? Get to it, or get out of the way.” Dr. Hughes snapped at her and she flinched a bit. Mel blinked hard, feeling her eyes burn. She took in a deep breath, her lungs burning. “Sats are 90 on room air, temp I-Is 101.2.” Dr. Hughes stepped beside her, bumping her a bit. She glanced at Frank next to her, who was glaring at the doctor, his jaw clenched and ticking a bit.

The patient was a 6 month old female, who had been brought in by a frantic babysitter when the parents were not responding to their phones. She had a fever, her lungs exhibiting rhonchi sounds on exhalation.

The new doctor that Gloria had hired to, quote, “help speed things up around the department” was very educated, Mel thought, but occasionally not patient with her, and the other doctors, and a bit snippy with everyone. Mel immediately felt bad for thinking that, though, since she didn’t really know him well. Sorry, Dr. Hughes.

“Dr. Landon? What do you think?” Both Mel and Frank glanced up at the doctor, and Mel cleared her throat.

‘Its, um, Langdon. Dr. Langdon”, Frank said, a look of disdain on his face.

‘Langdon, yeah, whatever. Differential?”

“Um, yeah. Could be RSV, but there’s no trouble feeding, and no straining of the chest on inhalation. Could also be pneumonia, but there’s no-”

“Yeah, order a chest x-ray and labs. Let me know when they’re in.” Dr. Hughes walked out and shoved the chart into Mel’s chest, and she grabbed it, hands trembling. Frank looked down at Mel as she cleared her throat a bit, turning around to walk to the bathroom. 

She walked past Dana quickly, keeping her head down as she heard Dana shout, “Hey kid, you okay?” Mel nodded a bit, her chest tightening and eyes burning. Damn it. She was frustrated. 

She pushed the bathroom door open rather aggressively, and locked it behind her. She stood in the middle of the room, closing her eyes, taking deep breaths as she felt a few tears roll down her cheeks. She pressed her hands to her chest and flapped her hands in a butterfly motion, something that her therapist had taught her to help her regulate her nervous system.

For a few minutes she stood still, doing exactly that and felt her mind calm, her eyes drying and her breaths even out.

A soft knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. She wiped the remaining tears on her cheeks and opened the door, seeing Dr. Langdon standing there, looking down at her with a concerned face.

“Oh, hi. Sorry, did you need to use the bathroom? I didn’t mean to h-”

“Mel, are you okay?”

She felt his hand on her arm and she jumped a bit and his eyebrows threaded together, rubbing her skin gently with his thumb. 

“I swear to god, I will beat the hell out of that asshole. He was a dick to you.”

She sniffled, wiping at her nose, inhaling a shaky breath. “He- He was just a tad bit impatient, but I-”

“He wasn’t just impatient, Mel, he was a bully. Hey, It’s okay. You’re okay. Come on, sit down. I’ll help you, you need a minute.”

Mel nodded and shut the door behind him, and promptly sank to the floor, bringing her knees up to her chest and resting her head in between them, encircling her arms around her legs, her chest burning with every breath.

God, why was she feeling so shaken up by this? Well, she did know, but that was something she did not want to unpack right now. She sniffled, closing her eyes tight. She felt Frank’s hand on her upper back, gently rubbing against her skin through her scrub top, as if he was an anchor in the water that was this damn hospital. She sniffled, her voice raspy. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“No, no, no. There’s nothing wrong with you. Mel, you’re perfect. I mean that in literally every sense of the fuckin' word.”

“Why do I get like this when I'm frustrated? Why can’t I be like you or Santos, or Abbot, and act normal when I'm mad, not cry like a baby.”

Frank frowned, a deep frown. Normally, Mel’s voice was his favorite sound- next to his own kids, and Becca’s- it always had soothed him. Soothed the dull ache in his bones that the pills had once filled. But now, hearing her talk about herself like this, it was like nails against a chalkboard to his ears.

“Mel. Can you look at me? Can you do that for me?”

She sniffled, lifting her head and wiped her tears. She leaned her head against the wall, turning it to look at Frank.

Fuck.

Her eyes, the tears in them had nearly taken the breath right out of his lungs.

“Mel, listen to me. I am not lying to you. There is nothing wrong with you. Do you hear me? Not a thing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the way that you process your emotions. Honestly, I think you’re better for it-” he looked right into her eyes, his expression calm and steady but heart racing- “you have such a unique ability to be so empathetic to anyone, even when they may not deserve it. Don’t ever be ashamed of that. Do you hear me, Mel? Do not ever feel ashamed for feeling so deeply. It Is one of, if not your best, qualities.”

Mel just stared at him, that kind of stare when she was perfectly tuned into someone.

She had never been good with words. She didn’t know how to express that she felt Frank’s words so deeply that it felt they materialized and dug in between her ribs, that she actually felt it in her chest when he frowned at her. Instead of trying to find the words, she leaned forward, throwing her arms around his neck like a fishing net and hugging him. She leaned forward on top of him, her head on his shoulder, her forehead pressed against his neck. 

“Thank you, Frank.”

He stayed still for a moment, but only for a moment because he knew he didn’t want to waste this absolutely precious moment. Frank pressed a hand against her lower back, pulling her closer, and looped his other arm around her waist. His face was pressed right next to hers, his mouth very close to her ear. 

He felt his face heat up, his voice trembling just a bit, “You’re welcome, Mel. You’re so welcome.”

--------------------------------------

Once he had ensured Mel was okay (by repeatedly asking her if she was, and letting her hug him for a few more minutes), he got her a protein bar and watched her take a few bites before stalking off to go find Robby, and give him absolute hell about this new senior resident that made Mel, his Mel cry like that.

After interrogating Dana about his whereabouts he found Robby in the break room, sitting with Heather and gushing over photos of their new baby- yeah, yeah, she’s cute, we get it. He walked in, swinging the door open with less intensity than he had meant, but It still felt nice.

“Robby. We need to talk.”

Frank glanced at Heather who sighed, shoving her phone into her scrub pants pocket and shooting a look at Frank for interrupting them. “I guess I have.. patients to check on or something.” She walked out behind Frank and he shut the door, pulling out a chair in front of Robby.

“Oh, no, please, go ahead and sit down, kick my wife out of her seat.”

“Oh shut up, she’s fine. That new resident, Hughes? You need to fire him.”

Robby rolled his eyes, dragging a hand down his face. “And why is that, Frank? Did he make mean eyes at you?”

“Robby, this is serious. He’s a bully. He made Mel cry.”

‘Wait, what? Okay, what happened?”

Finally, he gave a shit.

“He was an absolute ass to us, both. First of all, he called me Landon- that’s not even close? He shoved the chart at Mel, and yelled at Mel to move when she couldn’t get through vitals because he was intimidating and an ass-”

“Frank, Jesus, man, slow down. First of all, Dr. King okay?”

 “Yes, I made sure of it.”

“Okay, well, unfortunately I can't do much of anything about that, but just.. Just watch out for Mel, okay? And let me know immediately if he says anything like that again, or anything else. Okay?”

Frank rolled his eyes on instinct, upset that Robby couldn’t just fire the idiot right now, but he understood. He clenched his jaw, nodding.

“I'll let you know. But seriously, I am not responsible for what happens if he makes her cry again.”

“Get the hell out, Frank.”

“Yes, sir.”

Chapter Text

Prologue

“Hey, man. Are you good?” Damn it, not now. Where were the damn pills? He was getting married in 5 fucking minutes, and he needed to get high. Pathetic, right? “Yeah, man, I'm good, just trying to find my, um, chap stick.” He walked past Robby and he could still feel his eyes burning a hole into his back as he took each step. Damn it. He finally found a vacant bathroom, locking the door behind him and fumbling with the hand inside his pocket. He placed one of the blue pills onto his tongue, using his hands to cup water from the faucet. He splashed some on his face, looking into the mirror. He did not recognize the man looking back.

Present Day

Mel didn’t like trying new things. She disliked spontaneity: she had her routine that she stuck to. Pick up Becca after work, either pick something up on the way or cook at home, depending on the day, take a shower, braid her hair, watch Elf on the couch with Becca until she falls asleep, and then go to bed. That was her routine, and she rarely deviated from it. It was comfortable, and she loved being able to predict and control the rest of her days, when her time in the ER was always so chaotic and unpredictable.

But today, this Friday morning, Becca was begging to do Mel’s hair for work, some french braid she had learned at the center. Mel obliged, wanting to see Becca happy. She sat down in the chair at her vanity and Becca stood behind her, brushing through her hair (Mel had already brushed it and gotten all of the little tangles out, since she hated when other people brushed them out for her). 

“Mel, um, is Frank going to come over tonight? He told me the next time he came over that he would help me finish my Lego set!” 

She smiled, the feeling of Becca’s hands in her hair quite soothing. “Well, I’ll ask him, he’ll probably want to.” 

Becca smiled big, and the corners of Mel’s mouth turned up, her eyes shining.

—----------------------------------

“Who’s next up, Dana? I'm thinking something cool, like a-”

“Well damn, girl, look at you!”

Frank’s brows furrowed, putting his coffee down and turning around, and holy shit . 

Like, literally, holy shit. 

“Oh, uh, thank you. Becca wanted to do some hairstyle she learned, and I figured it was okay. Does it look okay?” Mel turned around and Frank clenched his jaw. She looked like fucking Rapunzel, golden streaks of hair all weaved together perfectly, a few pieces of baby hair falling in front to frame her face. He cleared his throat, his pulse fluttering. ‘You- It looks great, Mel. She did a good job.”

She smiled and he felt it in his chest, he actually felt it in his rib cage, the breath of air getting stuck in his throat. Dana caught on and she smirked, looking up from the tablet to eyeball him. “Something wrong, ER Ken?”

He shot her a look, one that said don’t-fucking-go-there. “Nope. All good. Just figuring out who to take back next.”

Dana laughed under her breath, muttering something before walking away and suddenly Mel was standing next to him and she could smell her perfume, damn it. “Hey, so, Becca was asking if you were gonna come over tonight, she misses you- well, we both do- and she wants you to finish her Lego set with her.”

His heart definitely didn’t skip over the part where she mentioned she missed him too and he quickly nodded. He was a fool, surely, but he wasn’t about to give up on an opportunity to be let into her life, the part that she reserved for herself and Becca, and sometimes him, if he should be so lucky. 

“Yeah, yeah. Of course. I’ll come over. Should I pick something up on my way?”

“Oh, are you sure? You don’t have to, I can always grab something-”

“No, It’s fine. Really, I don’t mind. I’ll see you after shift?”

“See you after shift!”

—--------------------------

Don’t spill it, don’t spill it, don’t spill it- Frank walked up to Mel’s apartment door, kicking on the door lightly to knock since his hands were currently occupied with trying not to spill the take out bags and drinks he had gotten.

Mel opened up the door and the corners of her mouth turned up, reaching out to quickly take the drinks and set them down on the counter. “Frank, you could have made two trips to the car.”

Frank set the rest of the bags down, laughing a bit, spotting Becca on the living room floor, working on the Mine-craft Lego set Mel had gotten her for her birthday a few months ago. “Yeah, I could have, but then I would've looked a lot less cool.”

Mel laughed a bit, although he noticed that the smile didn’t exactly reach her eyes all the way. “That’s right. You would have lost your coolness.”

“Exactly. Hey, are you okay? You tired?”

She nodded, turning to face him. Smiling and nodding her head, she clasped her hands together in front of her. Something was off. “I'm okay. I'm just gonna change.”

Mel walked away, and Frank watched her. Something was wrong. Normally she would have already been changed, but she wasn’t, so that suggested she was moving slower than normal, which meant she was upset, and he couldn’t let that slide.

Frank unpacked the food, saying hi to Becca and making her and Mel a plate before sitting down on the couch. A few minutes later Mel sat down next to him, wearing just a hoodie and sweatpants.

They watched Elf for a while, but Frank’s eyes were on Mel most of the time, observing her. She hadn’t eaten much of her food, claiming to have already eaten at work, which he already knew wasn’t the truth. When she would laugh at the movie, it wouldn't be a full laugh; just a little chuckle that never really met her eyes. She looked dead, and upset. She was also bouncing her knee a lot, something she did when she was in her head about something.

Becca was on the floor in front of the TV, completely in her zone, building her Lego’s and watching Elf. While making sure to keep his voice down, Frank leaned over to Mel, tapping her shoulder a bit which subsequently made her flinch a bit and she looked at him, her eyes a bit wide. He looked genuinely concerned for her, which made her chest squeeze. He kept his voice low as he talked.

“Mel. You can tell me anything, you know that, right? What’s wrong?”

She pursed her lips together, shaking her head. “I’m okay. I'm just tired.”

He sighed, looking into her eyes as she looked down, fiddling with the strings of her sweatpants. “No offense, Mel, really, but.. you’re a shit liar.” 

She shook her head and stood up, bringing her plate into the sink, before walking towards the balcony. “I think I'm gonna get some air.” Mel stepped outside, sliding the door closed behind her and he saw her stand outside in the cold, looking up in the sky. He sighed, and after a minute of fighting with himself he stood up, walking to the doors and sliding them open and standing next to her.

He didn’t say anything for a few minutes and just let himself be next to her, letting her know she wasn’t alone.

“Hey. Mel. What happened?”

She looked down, her eyes closed tight, like she did when she was trying not to cry. He saw her nails digging into her palm and he gently took her hand in his, unfurling her hand and smoothing out the crescent shaped marks her nails had left on her palm. He didn’t let go. They stayed like that for a while, Mel’s eyes closed tight, her hand in his, until she spoke.

“Something happened at work today. I don’t know how to talk about it.”

Frank let out a breath, nodding. “Okay. Well, why don’t you just tell me what happened, and we can go from there?”

He heard Mel suck in a deep breath, her eyes remaining closed. “Dr. Hughes and I were working on this patient together. That, um, mom with the burn on her hand. I was debriding it, and- and he stood behind me and watched. But he was super close, and it was making me super uncomfortable. Eventually I was done, so I stood up- but the stool that I was sitting on slipped a little, so I tripped some and he caught me before I fell, but he.. He put his hand on my butt, and- and grabbed me. I froze. I didn’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do. I'm scared."

Chapter Text

Prologue

“... think i miss him, don't want him a tad bit, if he take a hit of this i know he..” He walked into the apartment, the stench of alcohol and cologne that's way too strong hitting his nostrils and the music that’s definitely way too loud overwhelming his senses. Abby stood by his side as they walked in, but as soon as she saw her group of friends she abandoned him, and he looked around, grabbing an empty cup. This isn't where he wanted to be. He would much rather be in his apartment with Abby, cuddled up and watching some stupid movie. But it made her happy to go to these things, so he put on a smile, and lingered around while he watched her dance.

Present Day

In. 

Out.

In.

Out.

The urge to go kill that motherfucker was strong, way too strong to be safe. He knew, rationally, that going and assaulting him would do no good, and it wouldn’t make Mel any happier. In fact, it would stress her out ten times more. But fuck. He had put his hands on her, on his Mel, how the fuck could he let him get away with it? 

“Frank, I don’t want to make a big deal out of it.”

“Mel, fuck that. He assaulted you. He put his fucking hands on you! I'm not just gonna sit here and let that prick get away with it. Fuck!”

Mel closed her eyes, completely overwhelmed by everything. The nausea in her stomach, the pounding in her head, the fatigue in her bones. She just wanted to forget all about today, to go crawl into bed and cry. “Can you stop yelling, please?”

Mel pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes and pressed against them, and damn it, he knew she was overwhelmed, that he was getting too worked up.

“.. I’m sorry, Mel. I am. I’m not yelling at you, I promise, but that’s not an excuse, I’m sorry. I’m just pissed the fuck off. Hey, It’s okay. You’re okay.”

She sniffled and dropped down into one of the patio chairs, wiping her eyes. She felt Frank’s hand press against her back, rubbing it, soothing her.

“Okay, Mel. It’s okay. I’m gonna deal with it. You’re gonna be okay.” 

He felt horrible. His heart squeezed in his chest, the guilt washing over him. Fucking shit. It was all his fault. If he had been more insistent in getting him in trouble, if he had been there to protect her more, them maybe it wouldn’t have-

“Maybe, um.. Maybe we should call Robby.”

A part of him wanted to just find the motherfucker and kill him, but he knew that would only end up in jail time, so he knew the next best option was to talk to Robby, to let him handle it and do the right thing. The right thing.

But, fuck that.

“Okay, okay. I’m gonna call Robby, and we're gonna tell him what happened. It’s gonna be okay, Mel, I promise. Do you need anything? Water, food? You never finished your food, do you want me to-”

“Frank, please. Please just sit down. You're freaking out worse than I am, and I'm the one that got assaulted.”

He stared at her, not realizing he was pacing back and forth on the balcony.

“Joke. That was a joke, Frank.”

“... Right. Yeah. I need to sit down.”

He sunk to the ground, his back pressed against the railings as he dropped his head into his hands, running a hand through his hair.  “I just feel really bad. If I had stood up for you in that room then maybe he wouldn’t have been so ballsy..”

Her eyebrows crossed, genuinely confused as to why he blamed himself. “How is it your fault? Your not the one who assaulted me. It’s his fault. You didn't make him do it.”

“.. Yeah. I guess you’re right. Um, I’ll call Robby. Do you need anything? Im serious, anything at all?”

Mel smiled slightly, the warm feeling in her chest spreading. “No. Im okay. Thank you.”

He nodded at her, pushing himself off the floor and heading inside to where Becca’s legos were left on the floor, and she was in her room, asleep. He grabbed his phone off of the couch, quickly finding Robby’s number, and calling. He knew it was almost 11 at night, he had a newborn baby and a Wife at home, so he was definitely not going to be in the mood.

“... I swear to God , Frank, you better be dying.”

“Okay, I know It’s super late and you have a baby and a Wife and blah blah blah, but this is serious. It’s about Mel.”

“Jesus Christ, okay. What is it? What is so important that you had to drag me out of my bed?”

“That new attending, Dr. Hughes. He assaulted Mel. He grabbed her ass when they were with a patient.”

“Fucking- what ? Okay, first of all, is she okay?”

Frank’s jaw clenched. Shit.

“As good as she can be. Robby, I need you to do something about this guy. I'm serious. He can’t fucking get away with it.”

“I know, I know. Trust me, he won’t. Listen, just get some sleep, okay? Make sure she sleeps, both of you guys take off tomorrow, but meet me at that espresso place next to the hospital before shift, both of you guys, and we’ll talk. Just get some sleep, and make sure she’s okay. Alright?”

Frank nodded, his chest squeezing tight. He muttered an agreement and hung up then went back outside, to where Mel was staring up at the sky. He stayed behind for a minute, just watching her, observing her from the other side of the glass. 

Her soft hair. Her posture, the way she held herself. 

Oh.

Oh.

He was getting a crush.

Ridiculous, right? Crush . He sounded like a middle schooler. But fuck. He was crushing, and crushing hard. But he knew, he knew that now wasn’t the time for anything. She needed someone, someone for stability. And he could provide that. 

He stepped out, softly closing the sliding doors behind him before walking to her side, making sure to keep his voice calm. “So, Robby told both of us to take the day off tomorrow, but to meet him at the coffee place by the hospital before his shift, so we can talk. And we’ll go from there. Okay?”

She nodded, sniffling, her nose twitching. He traced the movement with his eyes, absolutely entranced by her. 

“Can I, um.. Can you stay the night? Please? I don’t wanna be alone, and with Becca, I don’t want her to worry.” She stood in front of him, pleading with him to stay the night. How could he possibly say no?

“Yeah, yeah. Of course I’ll stay. Don’t worry. Mel, you really should drink some water and go to bed. You look exhausted.”

They walked back into the house together, him shutting off the TV and turning the AC a few degrees lower, because he knew she liked it.

Frank walked over to her, putting a hand on her arm. Fuck. The look on her face made him want to hunt that bastard down and make him fucking wish he hadn’t put his hands on her. It’d be so easy. But, she needed him, and she always came first. “Do you need anything? Water?”

“Um.. I don’t know if it's weird to ask, but.. can you just..” She sighed, a bit frustrated because she didn’t know what the hell to say. So instead, she just unraveled her arms, and looped them around his abdomen, pressing her head against his chest and closing her eyes tight. “I just need a minute.”

He could practically feel his heart trying to escape from his rib cage when he felt her hands on him. He nodded, not saying anything, instead opting to return the favor by wrapping his arms around her waist, tucking her head under his chin and pressing a quick kiss to the crown of her head. They stayed like that for a few minutes longer than they should have, but Frank didn’t complain at all, until she reluctantly let go, but not before he squeezed her one last time. “Get some rest. I’ll be on the couch if you need me. We’ll deal with all of this tomorrow.”

She nodded and gave him a small, sad smile, which broke his heart. She walked off to her room and closed the door behind her and he plopped down on the couch.

It was a surreal feeling. Like he could still feel the weight of her arms around him, could still smell the coconut shampoo she uses religiously. When he closed his eyes, It was her face he met. When he fell asleep, it was her voice he dreamed about.

Chapter Text

Prologue

Frank sat there in that visiting room at rehab, watching Robby sit across from him, attempting to talk some sense into him. He felt like he was watching from the outside, like he was looking in from the windows. “Come on, man. Frank. You have to want this, to want to get better, or you won’t. We all miss you. Cassie, Dana, Mohan, Abbot, Hell, even Garcia misses you. Mel-” That was when Frank lost it, and his fist swung across the table at Robby’s face.

Present Day

After looking both ways like she had always reminded Becca to do, she walked across the road with Frank, the Cafe where they could see Robby waiting inside at a table for them in sight. Mel’s hair was down, the chilly wind blowing it behind her shoulders. She had always found more comfort when her hair was down; like she could hide behind it if everything got too loud, like a curtain. Frank wore a navy sweater and black jeans, and she would have to be blind to not see how damn handsome he looked.

They walked inside, the hot air warming them up. She rubbed her nose a bit and sat down at the table with Robby, and saw Frank pull out her chair for her like it was second hand nature. She filed that in her brain, under the folder she called things-ill-think-about-at-three-in-the-morning. 

“Mel. How are you?” Robby’s voice was warm, comforting. She smiled a bit, glancing at Frank, whose jaw was clenched.

“Um.. I’m okay. For the most part. I think I just needed to tell someone, and to get sleep. So, I just.. Listen, I'm sorry. I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, I-I was just upset-”

“Mel, stop”, Robby interjected. “I'm happy you had Frank call me. I wouldn’t want you to have kept this to yourself. It is in no way your fault, what happened, okay? I just need you to tell me exactly what happened so I can talk to Gloria, and get his ass fired. Are you okay with that?”

She nodded, sniffling a bit. The truth was, she had been through this before. Having to sit across from someone, recount the details of something so terrifying that it made her stomach churn, and bile rise in her throat.

“Okay. Um.. well, we were working on a patient, she was sedated and intubated and he- he was teaching, or at least trying to teach me how to do some suture I had never heard of. He was standing behind me, very close and speaking really close in my ear, and It was making me super uncomfortable. Um-”

Like an anchor in a hurricane, she felt Frank’s hand come to rest on her bouncing knee, squeezing it under the table to where Robby couldn’t see. She took in a deep, trembling breath, Frank’s touch helping her balance herself.

“Um, so, he placed his hand on the middle of my back while I was suturing and he kept it there, which made me even more uncomfortable. Eventually when I went to back up he.. He slid his hand down and, well, he grabbed my ass. I.. didn’t know what to do, I blanked, I freaked out, I just walked out really quickly. I think Dana saw me when I ran out, but no one else saw what actually happened. Im sorry, I should’ve stayed, or went to you, or-”

“Mel, stop. You did perfectly fine. There isn't any rule on what to do in that situation. You’re okay. Just to be clear, you didn’t talk to him for the rest of the shift?”

“No, I-I didn’t. I just kind of kept to myself.”

Robby nodded, running a hand down his face, looking more stressed out than ever, but still empathetic for Mel. She took a deep, shuddering breath and let it out, and placed her hand on top of Frank’s. She kept her eyes down but she felt him burning holes in her side with his eyes.

“Okay, well,” Robby continued, “I’m going to talk to Gloria as soon as I get there, and we're gonna deal with it. I’ll make sure he doesn’t work with anyone alone today, the fuckin’ prick. I have to go or I'm gonna be late, but I’ll call you later with an update, alright? Frank, please just make sure she’s okay. I'll see you guys tomorrow.”

Robby got up and left, and they both noticed the tension he carried in his shoulders.

For a moment, they remained like that.

Frank’s hand over her knee, her hand over his. Just being next to him, Mel thought, was like floating.

Frank cleared his throat and reluctantly removed his hand, standing up. “So, we can go back to your apartment and binge watch your favorite movies all day, or we can go do something, or go to the park, or do whatever you want, Mel.”

Mel smiled, noting the way his face softened when she looked into his eyes. “Can we just go back to my place and hang out all day?”

“Of course. I'd love nothing more.”

====================================

“Okay, but, White Chicks is inarguably the best movie to ever have been made. Can we at least agree on that?”

They were both sitting on the living room floor of her apartment, a barely finished puzzle sitting between them, conversation flowing back and forth like it was a river.

“Well, I’ve never seen whatever White Chicks is, so.”

“I'm sorry, what? What’d you say to me? You have never seen White Chicks?!”

“No, never. What, is it really that good?”

“Oh my god? I feel disgusted. How are we even friends? We're gonna watch it. Come on, get up. I'll make popcorn and you are going to watch a life changing movie.”

Frank stood up and rolled his eyes, but he wasn’t annoyed with her, he was infatuated with her. 

=====================================

Frank flicked up his watch. 7 pm. Just about the time Dr. Hughes was supposed to be getting home.

He sat outside the house in his car, the engine off.

Fuck.

What Mel had said earlier to Robby, the fucking look on her face while she recounted the details of how that fucker assaulted her, was enough to make him sick, the blood bumping through his arteries and veins and his pulse fluttering against his neck. The urge to kill the motherfucker was so strong. It would be so easy. But imagining Mel’s face when she found out; he couldn’t bare it. So, he would just have to compromise with this.

He saw his car pull in- a cyber truck, of fucking course- and he stepped out, carrying a small back pack.

Frank stepped out of the car, and he knew the asshole saw him. “Hey, man, I- dude, aren’t you from the hospital? The fuck are you doing here?”

Without even thinking about it, Frank’s fist flew across the guys face, with enough force to send him to the ground, clutching his nose like a fucking pussy. 

“Don’t you ever put another fucking hand on Mel again. Do you hear me?”

He looked up at him, blood dripping down his chin and he nodded, holding his free hand up in surrender. “Jesus Christ man, okay, shit, I’ll leave her alone!”

Without another word Frank walked back to his car, hopping in and driving away, praying that no one saw him. He knew that before he got back to Mel’s he’d have to clean up a bit. He didn’t want to worry her, of course.

Frank knew he didn’t have a claim over Mel. Not yet, at least. But he wanted whatever he could get, even if it was in small doses. So, for now, being able to just be there with her and for her, was his favorite thing. 

Chapter Text

Prologue

Heat. Cinnamon, spice, mint. That was his favorite scent. Or, at least what he thought it was, because that was what Abby smelt like. They stood in the kitchen, his hand on her waist, her hands in his hair, slowly dancing to the sound of “Mirrors” by Justin Timberlake playing on his phone. He knew he might've gone a little overboard on how many pills he had taken earlier, but he wasn’t a damn drug addict. He didn’t have a problem. He wasn’t his dad.

Present Day

Everything was fine.

She was on her couch, her headphones were on and Pyramids by Frank Ocean was playing, drowning out all of the other noises. She was freshly showered, in her pajamas. She did her skincare. She braided her hair back. She shut all of the stoves, unplugged everything, blew out all of the candles. Mentally, she went down the checklist.

So why did she feel so anxious?

She hadn’t heard from Frank in a few hours. She asked him to stay the night at her place, that she didn’t wanna be alone and he agreed very quickly to stay as long as she needed. But, he said he needed to go check on his dog. But it’s been 2 hours since he left, and while one half of her brain knew he was okay, that he didn’t relapse, probably, that he wasn’t dead in a ditch somewhere, the other half of her brain was telling her the worst. That he overdosed, that he ran away, or the worst option, that he just didn’t want to come back.

The longer she waited without a word from him, the more that the worry dug deep into her gut. What if he actually did overdose? Should she call Robby, or Cassie, or did he-

The door unlocked. Mel could have sworn she actually felt the anxiety melt away from her body. She shot up from the couch, quickly walking to the door and seeing Frank, all in one piece, not overdosed, not dead somewhere. “Oh, thank God you’re alive.”

Without thinking much she let out a huge breath and hugged him, wrapping her arms around him and resting her head on his chest, finally feeling like there was enough room in her body to breathe.

Frank stumbled back a bit, but was extremely grateful for this moment of intimacy. He looped his arms around her, laughing a bit and resting his chin on top of her head. “What, you thought I died or something? I'm all good.”

She nodded and reluctantly let go of him, backing up a bit and fiddling with her bracelet. “I was just.. worried. You were gone for, like, three hours. I thought you got, like, kidnapped or something.”

“Or that I overdosed.”

“Frank.”

“Sorry, sorry. And hey, Mel, I really am sorry about not texting or calling. Cassie called me because she was having a bad night and kinda struggling so I went over there to help, and I honestly just forgot about my phone completely. Hey, I'm sorry. I'm all in one piece, see? All good.”

She examined him briefly, briefly ensuring he wasn’t hurt before automatically clocking the bruises and swelling around his knuckles. She could've sworn she almost popped her own artery. “Frank! What happened to your hand?”

He groaned, hoping she wouldn’t see or that it would be dark enough so that he could just blame it on the shadows or something. “It’s no big deal, really. I'm all good.”

“No big deal? Frank, I-It could be broken, or fractured, It’s swelling and bruised, that’s not good-”

“Mel, I'm okay. Honestly. It wasn’t..”

“Nope. Shut up. Come on.”

She turned around quickly and he caught a hint of her perfume. Vanilla and caramel. Fuck. He followed behind her willingly. Then again, he would follow her anywhere.

Mel walked to the bathroom where she flicked the lights on, opening her bathroom cabinet and pulling out the first aid kit she always kept in there. The amount of things she’d seen in the ER? She had one of these on her at all times.

“Sit on the counter.”

“Mels, Im-”

“Frank, sit on the counter.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She smiled, ducking her head down to avoid the redness spreading across her face.

Frank hopped up onto the counter as Mel stood in front of him, not quite in between his legs but if she took another step forward, she would be. She gently took his injured hand into hers and he hissed through his teeth, and she frowned. “Did that hurt? I'm sorry.”

“No, It’s fine. You can’t hurt me, Mels.”

She felt his stare boring a hole into her skull, she actually felt his eyes on her, and It made her a little anxious, being perceived, but she felt safe with him.

“So.. are you gonna tell me how you ended up with this?”

He closed his eyes tight as she gently pressed against his fourth knuckle, and she muttered an apology.

“You would kick my ass. And hate me.”

“That's not true. I might kick your ass, but I could never hate you.”

Frank knew he’d be thinking about those words later.

“It’s.. the doctor that assaulted you. Hughes. I might’ve ran into him and maybe my fist slipped, and maybe it landed on his face.”

“Frank!”

“He drives a cybertruck, Mel! Not to mention he assaulted you! He deserved it. I know you're upset, and I truly am sorry that I upset you. But I'm not sorry about what I did. He deserved it.”

She bit the inside of her cheek, hard, to stop herself from crying.

No one had ever cared about her like that before.

“Promise me you’ll never do something that stupid and idiotic ever again.”

“I promise. I'm really sorry, Mels.”

She tried to act like that didn’t raise her heart rate.

“.. He did deserve it.”

“Right? He’s such a dick.”

—----------------------------------

“Okay, okay. That was actually very good, I'll give it to you. It was a good movie.”

“I knew you were gonna like it!”

“I'm really surprised it took me until now to see that. It was hilarious. The whole scene in the fitting rooms with the clothes, that was hilarious.”

They had just gotten done watching White Chicks, more so Mel forcing him to sit down and watch it with her, with her quoting every other line and Frank smiling huge at her as she did.

They fell into a comfortable silence, cleaning up the living room and kitchen while Mel shuffled her playlist over the speakers. Ceilings by Lizzy McAlpine came on and she smiled, humming along to it as she cleaned up.

She saw Frank pause in the middle of the living room and put down the stuff he was carrying and just smile at her.

“What?”

“Come here.”

She looked at him confused but obliged, walking to stand in front of him, about a foot away. 

“Let’s dance. Come on, a nice slow dance. This is your favorite song. It'll be fun.”

She smiled a bit, the corners of her mouth turning up and stepped closer to him. “I don’t know how to…”

“Here. I got ya.”

He took her hands, his touch soft and patient as he placed them on his neck and she could have sworn that she saw his face get red in the dark. She felt his hands rest on her waist and her breath hitched, listening to the lyrics in the background.

“Bed sheets, no clothes. Touch me like nobody else does. Lovely to just lay here with you.”

He started to sway her a bit back and forth and she let herself relax, stepping into him a bit more.

“.. Lovely to sit between comfort and chaos.”

She pressed her head against his chest. Warmth. Safety. Consistency. He smelt so damn good, and felt even better. 

“You kiss me in your car, and it feels like the start of a movie I've seen before.”

He pressed a feather light kiss to the crown of her hair and she let out a breath into him, running her thumbs across the skin of his neck, and she could have sworn she felt his heart beat harder.

“And you don’t exist, and i can't recall the last time i was kissed, it hits me in the car…”

As the song fades out she stays there for a minute, breathing him in, now fully pressed against him, eyes closed, Frank’s mouth pressed against the crown of her head. Eventually the song changes and the moment dies.

They both reluctantly disentangle themselves from one another, backing away. She cleared her throat a little bit, feeling the embarrassment creep back in. His hand squeezed her arm a bit.

“Go to bed, Mels. I’ll clean all of this up.”

She smiles a bit, muttering a goodnight and walking to her room. She plopped down onto her bed, staring at the ceiling, skin buzzing.

Holy crap, do I have feelings for Frank?

Chapter Text

There is four things that Mel could confidently say that she hated.

Number one was impatient drivers. She always drove at least the speed limit and people constantly sped past her or flicked her off. She never understood why people had to speed.

Number two was anti- vaxxers- the people who claimed that vaccines gave kids autism and adhd, which has been disproved many times over.

Number three was any type of rag or towel with that specific microfiber texture- the one that made her skin crawl and made her want to take her insides out and reset them.

And number four, worst of them all, was being sick- being fussed over, making people go out of their way to help them.

Which she currently was.

—--------------------------

Frank was almost asleep.

Like he could feel the sleep trying to take over his body. But it couldn’t get all the way there, because something felt missing. Something felt off. He turned his head, looking into the empty space in his bed. Occasionally taken by his dog, in the past his (ex) Wife, and one absolutely sacred time that he still dreams about- Mel, after a particularly bad shift. 

It felt quiet. Too quiet. He could hear the symmetric movement of his fan, and the thumping of his heart in his chest. He had-

The shrill of his phone ringing cut through the air and he sighed, the sudden noise making his heart pound. He grabbed his phone from the table next to his bed, expecting Robby or Cassie.

Becca? Why is Becca calling him at 11 at night? Shit, is Mel okay? Did something happen to her?

Before he could let his racing thoughts get the best of him, he picked up the phone, putting it on speaker next to him as he sat up.

“Bec, hey, is everything okay?”

“Hi, Frank. Im super sorry to call you so late, Mel told me not to call you, she said it 11 times, but i knew we should-”

“Hey, Bec. Is Mel okay?”

“Well, she’s just super sick. And she hates being sick, like, really hates it, and she told me not to call you because she didn’t want to bother you.”

Damnit. Frank knew something didn’t feel right.

“Okay, It’s okay. I'm on my way. How’s she feeling, what’s she like?’

As soon as Becca had called he started getting up, throwing on a hoodie and some sneakers, grabbing his phone, wallet and keys, and hopping in his truck.

“Um, she has a fever, I think she said 103.2, I think? And she's coughing a bunch and is super sniffly and really cold, and keeps throwing up, and it's super gross, and I don't know how to help.”

“Okay, It’s okay, Becca. You did great. I'm on my way. Do you guys have any medicine there?”

“Um, we did, but it's all kind of expired.”

Frank slammed his hand against the wheel, only about 6 minutes from Mel’s apartment.

“Okay, okay. I'll be there in a few.”

—----------------------------

His knuckles banged against the door of her apartment, slightly shaking with worry and anger.

Why hadn’t Mel just called him? Why didn’t she tell him? Did she not trust him anymore?

Becca opened the door, in her pajamas, clearly looking overwhelmed.

“She’s in the bathroom, she says she feels like she has to throw up but there's nothing in her stomach.”

“Okay, it’s okay. You did great. Go to bed, Becs, I’ll take care of her, she’s okay.”

Becca nodded, a sad look on her face as she turned and went to her room.

He walked to Mel’s bathroom, opening the door.

Every bit of anger he had towards her dissipated.

She sat on the floor, leaning against the tub, in a hoodie and sweatpants, shivering slightly, heaving into the toilet. When she looked up and saw him her eyes went wide, and he got a better look of her face. She was pale, with red splotches all over her face and neck.

“Frank? I- what are you doing here? Did Becca call you?”

“Jesus fuck, Mel, why did you never call me? You need help.”

He crouched down next to her and she coughed into her elbow, wincing at the pain blooming in her throat.

“Im fine, It’s just the flu or something, I’ll get over it-”

“You need help, Mel. It’s okay, hey- we can talk about this another time, but please, please let me help you.”

Mel sniffled, conflicted. On one hand, she didn’t want to burden him- he was probably tired and she didn’t want to get him sick. But on the other hand, she wanted him there. She didn’t want to be alone. She always wanted him there.

“But what if I get you sick?”

“Then I get sick, Mel. I'm a grown man. Please. I won’t take no for an answer.”

Mel took a moment to study his face. The true concern in his face, the worry, the fear. It made its way into her bones.

“.. Fine.”

He let out a huge sigh of relief, resting a hand on her cheek, rubbing her hot skin with his thumb.

“You’re okay. What was your temperature when you last took it?’

She thought back, biting her chapped lip.

“103.3. Yeah.”

“Jesus Christ, Mel, that’s high. Okay, It’s okay. You need meds and fluid and lots of rest. I'm gonna get some stuff from the Walgreens down the street delivered. Have you eaten today?”

She sniffled, sitting up against the tub, wiping her nose with a crumbled tissue. Frank’s hand was still resting on her face. She found herself leaning into it, the warmth a nice change from the relentless chills.

“Um.. this- this afternoon, but I threw everything up.”

“God, okay. I'm gonna make you some soup and get you some water, and some meds, and-”

“Frank?”

“Yeah, baby?”

Yeah, baby.  

She repeated the phrase in her mind.

Yeah, baby.

She knew she’d fall asleep repeating the sound of that.

“Can I just sleep, please?”

He sighed, resigning a bit, nodding.

“Of course. I'll carry you, come on.”

He stood up and reached down, looping one arm under her knees and the other across her upper back. She looped her arms around his neck, taking this second to try and smell his cologne and body wash as best she could with her blocked sinuses. 

He brought her to her room, setting her down in her bed, pulling the covers over her, kneeling down next to her. He watched a shiver run through her body and he groaned out of frustration. 

God, please forgive him.

“Scoot over, Mel.”

“What?”

“You need warmth, you need to break this fever. A million blankets won't help. You need body heat. Scooch.”

Her eyes widened a bit.

Yeah, baby .

Oh, yeah, Mel thought. This will be perfectly fine. Cuddling with the guy you think you're in love with when he just called you baby and carried you to bed is a sure fire way to keep your feelings hidden. But, who was she to say no to this?

Mel scooched back some, and Frank pulled down the covers, getting into bed and pulling his hoodie off, placing it on the floor next to him.

If there is a god, Mel thought, now would be the time for divine intervention.

Frank, next to her in her bed, shirtless. Wanting to cuddle with her. 

“I don’t bite, Mel. I just wanna help you.”

She smiled a bit, because how could she not? 

Mel laid down, tentatively laying her head on Frank as he wrapped his arms around her torso, pulling her closer. She threw one of her legs across both of his, letting her hand rest across his abs, feeling the muscles tighten a bit as she did. 

“Thank you, Frank.”

She felt his body heat helping with her chills, almost dissolving them as she let her eyes drift closed, only one thing on her mind.

The words yeah, baby coming out of the lips she wants so desperately to kiss.

Chapter Text

Mel woke up with a sharp pain in her temples.

She sat up, still barely awake, trying to process all that she was feeling.

She glanced to the clock at her bedside- 2:48 am. Great. She looked on the other side of her, a sight she was sure was sent down from God.

Frank Langdon, sleeping shirtless in her bed, his hand still resting on her waist, against her bare skin, tucked under her shirt. She felt warm, still definitely had a fever, and there was a pounding headache in her temples. 

She sat up more, rubbing her eyes and sniffling, looking around. Her vision was a bit blurry and she felt a sudden churning in her stomach, at which she immediately shot up, running to her bathroom and kneeling over the toilet as she threw up, eventually slumping down onto the ground.

“Mel?”

At the sound of Franks voice she groaned and she heard him get up, quickly getting to the bathroom to sit behind her on the edge of the tub to hold her hair back and gently rub her head, soothing her. “Its okay, It’s okay, Mel. Just let it out.”

She coughed again and threw up, clutching her stomach and slumping against the side of the toilet. His hand pressed against her hot forehead, his other holding her hair back in a make shift pony tail in his fist.

After a few more rounds of Mel throwing up into her toilet she groaned, sitting back against the tub, looking down as Frank kept rubbing her hair, muttering praise. She felt embarrassed, she couldn’t meet his eyes.

“You need medicine. And fluids. Your fever isn’t breaking.”

Mel groaned.

Of course. Of course this would happen to her, when she was at her most vulnerable, especially with him, explicitly with him. She knew she needed to figure out her feelings for him, to figure out what this is that she’s feeling, because shit if she knows. 

“I’m fine, i just need more sleep.”

“No, Mel. You need medicine, and water, and then you can sleep. Let me take care of you. I’m not asking.”

Mel looked up at him, and she felt a thousand words unsaid. 

Do you love me like I love you? Do you worry about me like I worry about you? Do you want me like I want you?

“It’s the middle of the night, Frank.”

“I don’t care.”

Her eyes met his. He seemed angry, but not at her; at her sickness. She tried her best to take a mental picture of his eyes.

“.. Fine.”

He smiled a bit, smoothing her hair back from her hairline with his thumb. 

“I’m gonna get you some food, okay? Lay down in bed, I’ll bring it to you.”

“Oh, I can help make i-“

“Mel, I'm gonna bring you to bed and your gonna lay down or watch tv or do whatever you want to do.”

Why was her heart racing so much?

Oh, because she’s in love with him. Got it.

————————————

Taking Benadryl and NyQuil probably wasn’t a good idea.

But Frank was desperate to make her feel better, he was absolutely determined to break her fever.

Mel was laying in bed, mindlessly listening to the TV play re runs of Grey’s Anatomy, again, as she laid on top of Frank's chest, hearing his soothing heartbeat under her ear.

His hand was under her shirt, resting on the part where her stomach popped out just a bit, gently rubbing her there, which, If Mel wasn’t on so much flu medicine, would have made her face heat up and chills rack her body.

The last thing she thought before sleep hit her like a train was, I would be so eternally grateful if I could have this forever. This feeling, this amazing man in my bed that makes me feel like nothing is ever too much. 

Chapter Text

Her eyes fluttered open as she woke, the light from the window piercing through her eyelids. She groaned, stretching out her legs a bit as she gained her bearings.

She felt him behind her, warm and firm and still gently snoring in her ear, but not the annoying kind of snore. The soft, gentle snore that only came from a deep sleep.

His arm was around her waist, tucked gently underneath her shirt, pressed against her stomach, just under her navel, which made her imagine his hand moving lower. 

Before she let that thought fully take effect she stood up, quietly looping out of his hold. He groaned a bit and buried his face into her pillow but didn’t wake up, which she was thankful for. She made her way out of the room, her head pounding in her ears as she walked to the bathroom.

After examining her fever flushed face in the bathroom she went to the kitchen, pouring a glass of water and drinking it, but being met with a scratch in her throat every time she swallowed, so at that point she just gave up on being hydrated.

As she was rinsing out her cup she heard her door open, and Franks worried and way too loud for this hour of the morning voice. “Mel? Where are you?”

“I'm in here.”

Frank turned around, seeing Mel standing in the kitchen, leaning against the counter in her tank top and shorts, and suddenly she felt exposed.

“Hey. How are you feeling? You still look feverish.”

Frank walked in front of her, pressing the back of his hand to her cheek. She unconsciously leaned into his touch.

“Kinda still the same. I'm freezing cold, and I just wanna sleep for days.”

“Oh, here.”

Frank pulled his hoodie off in one swoop and handed it to Mel, with absolutely no hesitation. It fed the flame that was growing in her heart.

“Oh.. thank you.” Mel slipped the hoodie over her head, nearly groaning as she smelt his cologne on it and felt the soft fabric against her skin. She smiled a bit as he saw the happy expression on his face, gazing at her like she was the most interesting thing on the planet. More than medicine, more than the Pitt. More than anything.

“Get back in bed. I called Cassie and Robby, they’re gonna get our shifts covered.”

“I-“

“I took Becca to the center and arranged for her to stay there overnight, and packed her a bag with everything she needs. Yes, she has her blanket.”

Mel stared at him wide eyed, shocked and flattered that he remembered everything.

“.. You remembered.”

“Of course. I always listen to you”

Is it hot in here? Oh, it’s just the longing to run her hands through his messy hair and wrap herself around him? Cool, cool.

“Thank you, Frank. I really appreciate it.”

“You’re sick, Mel. No hesitation. Get back into bed, I’ll bring you some food. Did you drink some water?”

“Yeah, but it felt like swallowing nails and sandpaper, so I didn’t get much.”

He let out a throaty laugh, which Mel didn’t know she could find so attractive.

“Sounds reasonable. Get back into bed, missy, you need rest.”

Mel smiled, looking down as she walked, biting her lip and getting back into her bed.

————————————————

The next thing that Mel woke up to was the feeling of a cool cloth on the corner of her mouth. She sat up, feeling a bit startled.

Frank was sitting next to her in bed, holding a wash cloth that was half wet, holding both his hands up. “Morning, sleepy head. I was just wiping the drool of your chin.”

Mel groaned. Of course she would be drooling. She probably looked like a beached whale while she was sleeping, and she knew if Frank saw that, she had absolutely no chance.

“Well, that’s not embarrassing at all.”

Frank laughed, shaking his head.

“No, it’s cute.”

Mel smiled, a genuine smile.

And he smiled right back.

Chapter Text

Getting so close with Frank.

Letting his relationship develop with Becca.

Falling in love with him

It was all just normal stuff to think about on a Friday night, right?

Especially when you were at a bar, with your co-workers, in some tight dress that your loud friend Trinity had stuck you into to, quote, “get some”.

All of that to say, sitting at a bar was not Mel’s favorite thing to do.

Trinity was next to her, wearing a short flowy skirt and top that she had to admit was really cute, and Samira was on her other side, with low waisted jean shorts and a tank top, that really showed off her legs, Mel thought.

“Ugh. I mean, we kissed on the roof, once. And now he can barely look at me. And the kiss was amazing. I mean, it was life changing. I just wish he would call me or something” Samira said, running a finger around the rim of her glass, her voice slurred from the Long Island she had been drinking.

“Abbot?”

“Mm, yeah.”

“Oh, well, he’s probably just embarrassed he’s older. It’s fine, just give him time to come to you.”

Samira laughed a bit, habitually checking the door every 5-10 seconds, Mel noticed. “I think you’re right. He probably just.. I don’t know. Whatever. So, Mel. What’s going on with you and Langdon, huh?”

Her eyes widened. How did she know? Is Samira a mind reader? Samira, please stop listening to my thoughts.

“I- What do you mean? We're just.. Friends. We spend time together.”

“Uhh, friends do not look at each other like that. I've caught him staring at you from across the Pitt, and there is no way I believe that the look in his eyes is friendly. He looks like he wants to be all over you.”

Mel's eyebrows raised, and she felt her face flush. Did he really do that?

Why was her heart racing?

“He’s just.. He probably doesn’t want me like that. He’s newly divorced, he’s got kids. He doesn’t want me.”

“Hey, don’t put yourself down like that,” Trinity chimed in. “I see how he looks at you, too. I don’t doubt it. You guys are fine if I go talk to that girl over there, right? Kay, great.”

Before either of them could retort she bolted away and they both laughed.

After a while of more drinks and laughing with Samira, she felt the buzz in her system, and felt more confident. She knew she definitely couldn't drive home.

And so like it was habit, like second nature she looked down, fishing her phone out of her purse, dialing Langdon’s contact, and pressing the phone to her ear,

“Hey, Mel. Is everything okay?”

She smiled to herself.

“ Oh, yeah, It’s all fine. Just- Im kinda a little bit drunk at the bar with Samira, and I really don-”

“I'm on my way.”

Mel smiled, looking down and biting her lip. 

“ Thank you, Frank. And, hey, can you do me a favor and call Abbot to come get Samira? They have stuff to work out, and she needs a ride home, too.”

“Playing matchmaker, ER Barbie? Sure, I'll call him. I'll be there in 10. Try not to stumble away and get lost, please.”

He hung up and left Mel with a stupid smile on her face. She paid their tab and pulled Samira out of her seat, who was now what she called “stupidly drunk” and walked them out, settling down on a bench outside of the bar, hoping the cool air would help her sober up.

She surveyed her surroundings. There was a group of guys smoking cigarettes, and one of the guys was eyeing her. Specifically, her legs. She looked at him.

Mid 40’s, stocky, blonde hair, holding a cigarette, and trying to wink at her as his eyes traced her legs.

He looked nothing like Frank, she was automatically uninterested.

After about 10 minutes the guy wandered over to them, reeking of smoke and alcohol.

“Well, hellooo, pretty. What’s your name?”

Mel squeezed her own hand, nails digging into her palm. Breathe, Mel. Frank will be here any second and you can go home.

“Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not interested.”

“Oh, come on. You haven’t even given me a chance. I can be real good.”

Mel shook her head politely, waving a hand no.

“I'm really sorry, I'm just waiting on my, um- actually, my boyfriend is almost here.”

What else was she supposed to do?

“Oh, yeah, right. Like a boyfriend would let you go out dressed like that. I think I'll wait here with you.”

By the grace of God, Frank’s truck rolled up, parking and getting out. Before he could say anything she ran over to him grabbing his bicep and squeezing it as if to say, “just go along with it.”

She cleared her throat, and walked him over to where she was. “This is my boyfriend, Frank.”

She felt him tense up, and take a second before nodding, and slipping his arm around her waist, pulling her close. “Does my girlfriend know you?”

The guy rolled his eyes, flicking his cigarette onto the ground and mumbling something before walking away. Samira giggled from her spot at the bench, nearly doubled over in laughter.

As if on cue, Abbot’s truck pulled up next to them, looking confused as he eyed Mel and Frank. “Did I miss a chapter? You guys finally-”

“Umm, just some dude wouldn't leave me alone, I had to lie and say he was my boyfriend.”

Mel could almost see the laugh he held back. Jack turned to Samira, who was still giggling to herself and held her arm, walking her to his truck and settling her into his passenger seat as she attempted a weak goodbye.

They all said their goodbyes and Mel got into Frank’s passenger, but he never let go of her waist. Even as he helped her get in, he kept one hand on her.

As he was trying to buckle her up he got pulled closer to her, his face nearly pressed against her chest.

Oh, jeez. Mel was toast.

Chapter Text

Frank couldn’t seem to sleep. 

His head was heavy. With thoughts of Mel, of course. But, also with his sobriety- the little baggie of blue pills sitting in his bathroom cabinet that he couldn’t seem to throw away, but couldn’t seem to take either. Every time he thought about it, there were 2 things stopping him.

Number one was his children- Tanner and Millie. The thought of Abby taking them away for good, the memory of the time when Tanner found his pills. That was one of the worst days of his life, to date.

And number two was, you guessed it, Mel.

Letting her down. Not being there for her. Not seeing her. Not touching her. 

But right now, all he could think about was the pain in his back, and how much he had missed her.

They had got into a bit of a fight over her health, and so he hasn’t been over there in a few days, and his apartment felt so fucking empty without her laughter there to fill it.

He checked his watch.

11pm. Damn it, she was definitely asleep by now.

He definitely shouldn’t go to her apartment.

—-------------------------------------------

He definitely did go to her apartment.

This was so dumb. She was going to hate him for waking her up.

But he was a selfish man when it came to her.

His knuckles pressed a few times against her door, and after a minute he heard the locks undoing, and the door open. He immediately felt better at the sight of her face.

“Frank? Are you okay?”

He could tell she was tired, and her eyes were red, and her nose was too. Wait- had she been crying ?

“I'm just.. I just missed you, Mel. I couldn’t sleep. Are you okay?”

She nodded, the little nod that she gave to patients when they asked her too many questions, and she was overwhelmed. “Oh- Oh, yeah, I'm okay. Come in. Does your back hurt? Do you want me to put some Tiger Balm on it?”

He knew she definitely wasn’t okay, and that he would ask her again soon, but the opportunity to have her hands on him was not something he could pass up. He was a selfish man, remember?

“Yeah, yeah. That would actually be really nice, thank you. Im really sorry for waking you up, Mel, though. You absolutely don’t have to-”

“It’s okay, Frank. Lay down. I couldn’t sleep either.”

The assurance in her voice felt like a salve on his back, better than any medicine. He walked to her room with her, eyes remaining on the back of her head, not daring to move down.

Frank settled himself on her bed, laying on his stomach so she could get his back. He heard her fiddling around in the bathroom, the faucet running, most likely washing her hands.

“Why couldn’t you sleep?”

Her voice was calm; sweet. There were no adequate words.

“Just.. my back hurts, and I've got stuff on my mind.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Normally, he’d say no, not wanting to annoy her. But the words just came tumbling out.

‘Our fight. Im so fucking sorry, Mel. I shouldn’t have said those things. I understand if you don’t wanna tell me every little thing, hell, i wouldn't wanna tell me everything either, but I just.. I was worried about you being sick, so..”

“I forgive you. Well, I forgave you a while ago, but.. I just thought maybe you didn’t forgive me, and that you might’ve hated me, so I just… 

“ Hated you ? Mel, In what universe could I hate you?”

That made her pause. 

“I just.. felt really guilty, I guess. You have bigger problems, much bigger problems than me. I didn’t wanna annoy you, I guess.”

His heart sunk in his chest. She felt like she was bothering him?

The girl who’s voice he heard in his dreams, in his head on bad days, who’s touch he craved so deeply it felt like every second without it he was going crazy, who he wanted to be around all the time, who he wanted to hear talk all the time, who he was so irrevocably in love with he couldn’t think straight?

“Mel. Sit down.”

He sat up, the pain in his back be damned. She sat down in front of him.

‘Melanie. I want to hear every word you have to say, and then some. I want to know about every single piece of your day. I want to know about what your hyper fixated on this month. I want to know when you're upset, even if you don’t know why you’re upset. I want to hear when you’re pissed at me. You could never annoy me. Fuck- Mel, I need you to know that.”

They were close now. Too close for just friends. Her knees touching his, her hands in her lap, fiddling with her sleeves. She looked up at him.

Frank felt like he was in heaven. His back no longer hurt. She was a natural pain reliever- his own angel. Sitting there, looking into his eyes, gazing. What was a man meant to do when heaven was sitting there in front of him, with brown eyes and a blonde braid.

He took her hand, cradling it in his own, bringing it up to rest against his cheek, audibly sighing when her hand pressed against him, and she stared at him, he swore he could hear her heart pounding. 

He nodded at her. She nodded back. He leaned forward some, his nose brushing hers. He opened his mouth, lips almost brushing, just a little more-

“Hey, Mel? I can’t sleep. Do you think we could watch Elf?”

No, of course. Great. Awesome. He was about to kiss the love of his life, and Becca wanted to watch Elf. Great timing, Becs.

“Yeah, I- just one second, Becca. We can.”

He heard her footsteps to the living room and Mel cleared her throat, clearly still shaky, standing up, fixing her hoodie.

“We should, um, get out there.”

“Mel-”

“I-It’s fine. Let's just go.”

She walked out of her room, and he followed suit.

He was so close to his heaven, Frank thought.

The pain in his back returned.

Chapter Text

Mel didn’t sleep that night.

Or the next.

Or the ones after.

They hadn't talked about it, whatever it was. The almost kiss, the moment that they let their walls down just enough for the other to climb over, and when Becca came knocking, built them back up again.

She kept replaying that moment in her mind. How utterly calm she felt, how he soothed her fears with just one look and made her feel so seen, bathed in daylight.

And as quickly as it was there, it was gone. 

For the next 2 weeks, they hadn't talked, besides when necessary at work.

Another week had gone by, and Mel was upset. Mad, almost. No, mad was too harsh of a word, she thought. Irritated. She was irritated at Frank. Mostly for ignoring her, for letting her get that close to him and not saying anything after. But also for letting her open up to him about her fears, her wounds that had since reopened- and then not acknowledging it.

On the contrary, Mel had also seen the exhaustion in his eyes when he showed up at her door that late, the pure vulnerability, like he was tired of masking it. She was worried about him.

She had never felt so conflicted.

—---------------------------------

It was 1am on a Tuesday night when the call came.

Mel was in bed, laying on her side, wearing the hoodie Frank had given her long ago (she hadn’t washed it since- she didn’t want to get rid of his cologne), scrolling on Pinterest, trying to do anything to keep her mind off of him. Or, more accurately, the absence of him.

Her phone buzzed and she glanced to the top of the screen.

Frank.

Oh, oh wow, okay.

Breathe, Mel. It’s just Frank.

She sat up, giving herself the time to take a steadying breath before clicking the little green button with her thumb, and then putting it on speaker, and setting it on the bed.

“Hey, Frank. Is everything okay?”

She heard a deep shaky breath from the other line.

“Mel. Can I just.. Fuck, can I please come over?

“Frank, are you okay?”

“No, no i'm not. I really wanna fucking relapse right now, can you please just let me come over?”

On instinct, Mel sat up.

“Yeah, yeah of course. Of course.”

“Great, because I've been sitting outside your apartment building for 20 minutes.”

Mel tried not to linger on what that meant.

“It’s okay. Just come in, it’s okay."

She hung up and a minute later she heard his knocking at her door. She opened it and examined him.

He looked pale, sweaty, wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, his hair sticking up in many different ways.

“Come in, please.”

He walked in, eyes dropping to his hoodie that she was wearing. It made her stomach curl.

She knew what to do, what he liked. He liked the calmness, the softness, he needed it right now. He plopped down onto her couch.

She made him tea, chamomile.  A little bit of cream, bit of sugar. 

She walked it over to him, sitting down next to his head, placing the tea on the table.

“.. Mel, i..’

“You don’t have to talk, if you don't want to.”

“No, I.. I need to.”

He sat up, leg bouncing up and down. Mel tilted her head a bit, almost to ask him, what's wrong?

He turned to face her. Their knees bumped and she faltered a bit, but kept steady.

“Mel. I know you're pissed off. You’re mad. You have every damn right to be. I'd be worried if you weren't. I just.. That night, I.. God- Mel, I was so terrified, I really don't’t wanna fuck this up. I don’t wanna fuck you up. You’re so good, and I don’t…”

Her heart dropped.

“You don’t want me?”

“No! God, No, Mel. I want you. I want you. Do you hear me? I want you. Here, just- let me-”

He took her hand and pressed it against his chest.

Holy shit, his heart is racing.  

“Mel. I always want you. Do you understand? Don’t ever think for a second I don’t want you. What's scary is how much I want you.’

Mel was pretty sure she was so pale that she blended in with the air.

“I want to be in every single part of your life. I wanna be here, with you and Becca, on spaghetti Fridays, watching Elf and going to bed with you. But I am truly, so-” he said with a voice crack”- scared of messing you up with my shit.”

Mel was stunned. Flabbergasted. Bewildered. Breathless. Every single emotion ran through her body.

Happiness, at the thought of him wanting her like that.

Anger, for him not telling her and thinking he can make that choice.

Sadness, at him thinking he’s messed up.

She didn’t know what to say. Her mouth hung agape, and he stood, pacing the room.

She looked up at him.

His hair, she had always craved to run her fingers through. Her neck, she had always wanted to bury her face in. His biceps she always found her eyes going to. His lips, she wanted to kiss.

Kiss. 

All rational thought left Mel’s mind. She stood up without a second thought, barely thinking, her legs barely holding her.

She stood in front of him, only pausing for half a second to observe him before threading her fingers through his hair, and pressing her lips to his.

Chapter Text

Frank was sure of 3 things in his life.

Number one was that he absolutely adored his children, that they came first, and he would do absolutely anything for them

Number two was that no matter what happened, he knew he’d always have his job, the comfort of the medicine and be able to just get lost in it.

Number three used to be that Abby was the love of his life. That changed long, long ago, but now, it was replaced with Mel. The fact that he would never want to pull away from her. Never want to be away from her.

As she pressed her lips against his, a soft whisper of a kiss, standing on her tippy toes so that she could reach up against him, her name was the only thing that ran through his mind.

It took him a second or two to catch up. When he did, though, his hands went to cup her waist, pressing forward, opening his mouth a bit, rubbing the sides of her waist with his thumbs. She tasted like mint from her tooth paste and something distinct that he couldn’t quite place, but he knew it quickly became his favorite flavor and he wanted to taste it all the time.

They stayed like that for a few more seconds before he pulled away, not wanting to overwhelm her. He kept their faces close, though, their noses bumping. 

“Is this okay, Mel? I don’t wanna overwhelm you…”

“It is. I promise, it is. It’s not.. I’ll tell you if it’s too much. Please.”

At the very end of her sentence his lips were on hers again, sucking in her bottom lip in between his and running his hands up her sides, placing his hands on the sides of her face to tilt her head back some. She gasped into his mouth, hands coming up to grab at his shirt. He groaned into her mouth, licking into her mouth. 

After a few more minutes of them running their hands over each other and figuring out their favorite ways to kiss, Mel pulled back, catching her breath, hands holding her biceps.

“I don’t.. Not tonight, I-”

“That’s okay, baby. That’s fine. Don’t worry. We can go at your pace, however you want. Just.. let's sit down. Okay?”

She nodded, plopping down onto her couch, folding her knees up to her chest, looping her arms around her legs.

“Hey. Mel. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, no, yeah. I'm just..”

She took a deep breath, her eyes fixed down onto the ground.

“You said you don’t want to mess me up. But I already am. What you don’t understand is, though, that I want your mess. I want every bit of it.”

Mel was scared. But Frank made her feel safe, made that fight or flight feeling that she had always had go away when she was with him, and even when she was thinking about him. 

He swallowed heavy, listening to her voice in his ears.

“I want your mess, too, Mel."

Chapter Text

One time in med school, Mel dated this guy. David. He was sometimes nice to her, which she liked. But he was more experienced than her, in more ways than one. He was very well known, especially at parties. He would drag her to them, even after she explicitly stated she was exhausted and had to study, and she didn’t like to party. She hated the alcohol and strangers and music that was so loud she could feel it in her bones. But, she went, because he said it would make him happy, and, “ come on, babe, don’t you wanna make me happy?”

She ended up dumping him, because he never understood her. Also because he had cheated on her, but that’s another story. 

So that's why she had been ignoring Frank.

Well, that’s not the word she’d use. She wasn’t completely avoiding him. She would just.. not respond to his texts until 2am when she knew he was asleep, sit there and watch her phone buzz with his calls, and avoid him in the hallways at work.

She was scared. The kind of scared that debilitated you, the kind that made you want to lay in bed, take out your brain and chuck it across the room and just.. be.

What was she scared of? Oh, the list goes on.

Number one, and the biggest one, is that she was scared for Becca. Letting him into their life more than she already had, allowing Becca to think he could be a permanent fixture in her life, only for him to pull away when he realized that Mel was too much, and too confusing to understand like she so desperately needed.

Second was, well.. Mel’s a virgin. There’s no other way to put it. She was inexperienced, and she was so very sure Frank wouldn’t want that, wouldn’t want to have to deal with that.

So, for those reasons, she watched his calls go by, his texts went unanswered until the middle of the night, where she didn’t have to face him, to face the fear that was the kiss they shared in the middle of the living room, which was absolutely life changing. She swore she could still feel his hands cupping her waist, running down her back, his lips on hers, soft and reassuring. 

She missed him. She missed his cologne, she missed the way he genuinely listened when she talked about whatever she was excited about, and how whenever she apologized for talking so much, he would say, “no, go on, i love listening to you talk”. 

But the fear outweighed the benefits. She was terrified. And she didn’t think that would change. Until tonight.

Chapter Text

“Where’s Frank? I haven’t seen him in a while, he missed the last two spaghetti Fridays and he wasn’t there to watch Elf with us.”

Mel paused, forkful of spaghetti halfway to her mouth. Truthfully, she didn’t know how to answer Becca. Frank had caught her eyes many times from across the ER hallways and during procedures, way too many words unsaid between them.

I think i'm in love with you

Why are you ignoring me?

I'm sorry.

I'm scared.

Im deeply fucked up, to my core, and i don’t want to mess you up because i care so much about you it tears me apart to see you without a smile.

“He’s just been busy, with his kids and all.”

And dear God, another thing. His children. He’s a single father. A dad, to two absolutely amazing and beautiful kids that she met. How would they feel? Would she be their step mom? How would Abby feel?

God, it’s just too much. Mel just wanted to shut down. She wanted to sit next to Frank, to talk it out with him, which she couldn’t do because he was the one she’s too scared to even look at now. It’s a very vicious cycle, and it keeps Mel up at night. 

—------------------------------------------------------------

It was a late Saturday night when the knock came. Or- well, more accurately, the stone.

Mel was laying in bed, doom scrolling on tik tok and, again, wrapped in his hoodie. She heard a little pelt sound at her window and shot up, eyebrows crossing. What the hell? She sat still and then heard it again.

She stupidly grabbed the bat she kept under her bed because, really, how was that gonna fight against someone 2 stories below her?

She pulled open the blinds, and her breath caught in her throat.

Frank Langdon, standing there. Looking defeated as ever until he noticed her looking down and smiled, waving and jumping, pointing at his phone. 

She nodded, understanding that meant that he wanted her to call.

Her brain was still catching up as she reached for her phone, tossing the charger aside as she sped to her contacts list, pressing on his name and putting it on speaker. “What the heck?”

“Oh, thank god. I thought I was gonna be here forever. Mel, please. I know you might hate me, just- please, I miss you. Let me in. I miss you.”

Her eyes went wide. Hate him? Why on earth would she hate him?

“The doors unlocked.”

The call ended with an aggressive beep and about 30 seconds later Frank was knocking (actually knocking this time) at her door. Before she realized she was still in his hoodie and her underwear that definitely had little cherries on them, she swung the door open,  lips slightly parted as she took in his expression. 

Scared. Petrified.

He looked nervous almost, like they hadn’t made out before and seen the absolute worst of each other, and were still both here.

“Mel. Please, just let me apologize.”

She wanted to interrupt him, to ask him what he could be possibly apologizing for but he cut her off, stepping inside and pacing around her kitchen. 

“I don’t know what I did. I don’t know why you’ve been ignoring me, honestly, and it's killing me. It’s actually killing me. Like, to the point I've been lying awake all night going over every one of our interactions and thinking about what I-I could have said or done or anything to make you upset, Mel, because I am really so sorry. I don’t know what else to do. God, you being mad at me fucking sucks. I don’t know what to do, so please, please, tell me what to do so I can fix it.”

At that moment, one singular thing was made clear to Melissa King.

That Frank was here, he was here and he’s safe, and he isn’t going anywhere. 

She knew that only one thing was left to do now.

In the middle of his rant, she cut him off, three words slicing him in half.

“I love you.”

His eyes went wide. He dropped his phone, the sound of it hitting the floor snapping him out of his daze, fumbling to grab it, mumbling apology after apology and Mel just giggled, watching him.

“Sorry, I just.. I don’t think I really heard you right.”

“You did. I love you, Frank Langdon.”

He just stared at her, eyes wide, processing her words.

She loves him. 

He took a step forward, close enough to really get a good look at her eyes and cupped her cheeks in his hands, searching her face for any sign she could be lying, or anything to make his heart not race like he’s running a marathon.

“Are you going to kiss me, Frank?”

How did he survive one day without this woman in his life?

He surged forward, crashing his lips against hers and pushing her against the wall. It wasn’t rough, it wasn't forceful. It was gentle, loving, in the way he wanted to protect her, to hold her. He put his hand on the back of her head so it didn’t hurt her, moving his other hand to pull her waist to him, pressing her against him. 

It took her a minute but she reached up, threading her hands through his hair that- god, that she had always yearned to run her hands through.

“ Fuck- sorry-”

He kissed her once more on the corner of her mouth, and again before pulling away, pressing his forehead against hers, eyes boring into hers.

“I love you, too. I forgot to say it, I-I just needed to kiss you. Sorry, Mel.”

She smiled and laughed. “It’s okay. Forgiven.”

“Good. I was worried.”

She smiled and snickered. Her eyes examined her face. The blush that spread to his neck, the hair that was falling in front of his eyes. She pushed her hand forward, redirecting that hair back. “I've always wanted to do that.”

“Do what? Push my hair back?”

“Yeah. The way it hangs over your eyes, it’s the first thing i noticed about you.”

He groaned, dropping his head, pressing his forehead to her shoulder. “You can’t say stuff like that, Mel.”

“Why? Do you not like that? I-”

“God, no, the opposite. I love it. I'm just trying to be a gentleman.”

She smiled. It was a small one, but it said everything.

Chapter Text

If he was being honest, Frank used to be a fuck boy, before he met Abby. Frat parties, hookups, booty calls, situationships, all of it, he was in it. When he met Abby, though, he thought she was the one, but then again, he was addicted to xanax, so he wasn’t thinking straight. 

This is different. It felt safe, with Mel. He felt safe. With Abby it had always been that electricity, that spark when they had touched, but he knew that too many sparks led to a fire, and that fire burned their marriage down. 

He loved touching Mel. Even if it was just sitting against her, holding her hand or kissing her (his favorite), it made his heart rate slow, and it muffled his anxiety. And Mel did, too, or at least that was what she told him.

But they hadn’t had sex yet. And Frank was worried. 

Also, he had a hard on every time he would see her getting changed, but was so afraid of making her uncomfortable, so he resorted to his hand, and thoughts of her.

Is she not attracted to me? 

Does she not want to have sex?

He had no idea how to bring it up. Over dinner? At work, in the middle of the hallway? In the middle of the night?

—----------------------------------------------

It was the middle of the night when Mel took a deep breath and rolled over to him. He was half awake, lips against her shoulder, eyes closed.

“Frank?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“Can we, um. Can we talk about something?”

He nodded, planting a kiss on the back of her shoulder and sitting up some. “Always. Is everything okay?”

She sat up to meet his eyes in the dark, fiddling with her bracelets, trying to will the words to come to her. She felt him take her hands, rubbing the inside of her wrist with his thumb. “Hey. Mel, it’s just me. It’s okay, take your time.”

She nodded, taking in a deep break, noting the worry on his face. 

“Okay, so, I've thought about this conversation, like, ten times over and what I'm gonna say, and I just.. Um, I'm a virgin. Like, never had sex before, virgin. And I-I know that guys don’t like inexperienced girls, I'm sorry, so i've been asking Samira and Trinity to- to help me, because I honestly have no clue on what to do, I…”

God, he was never gonna let this girl go, he thought

“Mel, it’s okay. I like- love you. I love you, that’s all that matters. I absolutely do not care that you’re a virgin. Hey, Mel, breathe. We’ll take it one day at a time, alright? You're fine. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Good girl. That’s it.”

Mel nodded, her breathing slowing, the panic leaving her body with every breath she let out. “I just.. felt guilty for never telling you.”

“Don’t. You don’t owe me that, okay? 

“I’ve just always wanted it to be really special. So I waited, and you’re really special to me, so..”

Frank nodded, completely understanding of her words, her feelings, which was extremely foreign to Mel. 

“What if I told you I can think of a way to make it extra special for us?”

She crossed her eyebrows a bit, his hand reaching out for her other one and squeezing it.

“I’ll take you on a vacation. Somewhere nice, pretty. Wherever you want. Make it super special. Just me and you, baby.”

She gasped a bit, processing his words.

Alone, with Frank. 

With a bed. 

Having sex. 

With Frank. 

“Let’s do it.”

Chapter Text

Peace. Something Melissa King had never known. Not fully. With Frank, on their honeymoon, though, it was there. Peace. Love. Everything they knew the other felt, but didn’t have to say, because their actions showed it. For example, the way he tucked his nose into her neck, laying lazy kisses to the spot right behind her ear that he knew was sensitive, holding her left hand in his, thumb running over the thin, golden ring he had put there when he said “I do.”

“Mrs. Melissa Langdon.”

She smiled, looking up at the ceiling. “Are you going to keep saying it?”

“Until I die, baby. It feels unreal.”

“Why?”

“Just..”

He smiled, rolling on top of her, kissing his way down her neck, her throat, the beauty mark on her chest he grew to obsess over.

“Wanna make sure you’re real.”

He made his way down, further down until he reached her stomach, rubbing his nose against her until he reached between her legs, letting out a groan when he saw the damp spot on her cotton underwear. Fuck. 

“Already?”

She giggled a bit, letting her hands come down to thread through his hair. “You know me.”

“Yeah. I do.”

He pressed his nose against her, holding back a moan already.

“Frank..”

“I know, baby.”

He pulled her underwear down and tossed them somewhere in the room with the rest of their clothes and nudged his elbow against her thighs lightly, to which she spread her legs some, feeling the heat rise in her face. 

“So pretty, baby. I know.”

He proceeded to bury his face into her pussy, eating and lapping away at her clit like it was his favorite thing ever, which it was. 

“Please- that feels so good, Frank, oh.”

He groaned around her, bringing one finger up to tease at her hole, taking pity on her and pressing in.

She clenched around him and gasped, arching her back, scratching at his upper back and scalp like she was floating away.

“So good. Tastes so damn good.”

He pushed another finger into her, his index finger. He crooked them forward inside of her, making her back arch off the bed. She whined and babbled a bit, pulling at his hair while he leisurely ate her out.

“Oh, fuck. Fuck, Frank. Yes, y-yes.”

He moaned into her, kneading his fingers into the flesh of her thighs which he would happily die between.

He felt her clench around him and her moans turn into messy whimpers, and he knew she was about to come.

“Come on, sweet girl. So sweet. Come on my face for me. You can do it. So damn good.”

She cried out and her thighs trembled, throwing them across his back as she came with a whine and open mouthed moan.

He ate her in earnest through her orgasm, pumping his fingers in and out while he did. 

Eventually he needed air and came back up, kissing back up her until he reached her mouth, letting her taste herself.

After a while of making out he rolled to his side, resting a hand on her stomach and rubbing with his thumb.

“Are you hungry? We should get something to eat” Mel murmured, running a hand over his chest. 

“I’m full with you, baby. You make my heart feel full.”

She laughed at the cliche, smiling big.

“But I could really go for a grilled cheese right now.”