121 - 140 of 174 Works by scrapheapchallenge

Navigation

Listing Works

  1. Tags
    Summary

    An angel and a demon turn up on your doorstep to dispense some care when you're not feeling great.

    Written by request for a couple of people on our Good Omens discord server who are feeling rotten right now from injuries and chronic illness. CousinSerena started the idea of customised comfort porn, and more was requested, so it was my turn to do one. I also suffer from chronic pain so I know what it feels like to be like this. This one goes out to anyone who needs some one on one NSFW pampering from everyone’s favourite demon and angel. There isn’t any plot, it’s pure indulgent Porn Without Plot.

    For this one, the reader will have a vulva, just a CW in case that’s not your cup of tea.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,129
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    70
    Kudos:
    431
    Bookmarks:
    55
    Hits:
    7,170
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale has certain fantasies about snake sex. He wants to experience it with his serpent lover firsthand, while in snake form himself. Crowley happily obliges.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,767
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    70
    Kudos:
    466
    Bookmarks:
    62
    Hits:
    5,356
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Perhaps because the almighty had a peculiar sense of humour, angels and demons could come into heat. Some would get an irresistible urge to nest. Aziraphale was prone to this. He’d start buying soft furnishings like they were going out of fashion (and the ones he bought usually already had gone out of fashion, it was like an explosion in chintz in the upstairs bedroom from the last time he’d had the urge to line his nest.)

    The angel would become addicted to going on shopping trips to Laura Ashley, John Lewis, or lately, Ikea. The bookshop would become a riot of throw cushions and fluffy blankets. Crowley had seen him do it now and again, fortunately never at a time when Crowley, too, was being influenced by his avian aspect.

    Like now.

    Because when he brought his wings forward for preening, he saw that this wasn’t a normal moult. His new feathers were rather more colourful.

    Oh fuck, not now...
    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    In 6,000 years angel and demon had never had never co-incided during their cycles, but they're about to find out what happens when they do. More comedy smut.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,637
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    163
    Kudos:
    1,309
    Bookmarks:
    228
    Hits:
    16,931
  4. Tags
    Summary

    From the weekly prompt on the group Ineffable husbands-Fanfictions Reader and Writer- AO3 on facebook. The prompt was this:


    Aziraphale, watching the news:
    “Crowley, have you heard? Somebody tried to fight a squid in the local aquarium!”
     

    Crowley, covered in ink:
    “Well maybe the squid was being a dick."

    NEW! Quefish did a (very) drunk reading of this (and "Gabriel and the Sofa of Sin") one after the other on youtube, go watch! I set the video link to start at the beginning of this fic but feel free to watch it all: CLICK HERE

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    437
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    71
    Kudos:
    301
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    1,897
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Stick with it and please don’t hate me, this isn’t going to turn out how you expect, there’s always a happy ending.
    Crowley is desperate for his angel’s love, he’s never been able to have it, so he’s made do with other ways of imagining what it would be like.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,297
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    178
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1,732
  6. Tags
    Summary

    An angel and a demon fall in love, and an angel yearns for something more intense from his demon, who happily obliges, with unintended consequences.

    includes CONSENSUAL "non consent" play.

    CW, mention of someone hurling homophobic abuse (but not what he said), Crowley shuts it down rapidly.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,160
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    53
    Kudos:
    407
    Bookmarks:
    66
    Hits:
    5,897
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Love hurts, especially when you’re not allowed it. Aziraphale struggles to cope with his feelings about his god given abilities, and Crowley tries to help him see something important about it all.

    “That’s the problem with having a thousand eyes. When you cry, it can get messy.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,470
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    243
    Bookmarks:
    37
    Hits:
    2,090
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley confesses his love to Aziraphale, and reaffirms what he’s been feeling for thousands of years. There may be a surprise in store. Please don’t hate me, this wasn’t my idea, but it was too funny not to use. It's all explained at the end.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    917
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    78
    Kudos:
    126
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    1,418
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Human AU, Crowley is a horticulture student, and Aziraphale is studying theology. They become best friends and make a promise that if neither of them is married by the time they’re 40, they’ll get hitched. Both think the other has forgotten. Cue a couple of decades of pining and missed opportunities before fate finally brings them together.
    Concept by foulfiend1984.

    I've tried to do a condensed slow burn, to get their story into a shorter format while still hopefully doing it justice so it doesn't feel rushed. It is longer than the other valentine's prompts, but it needed the length to make it work for the concept.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,089
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    74
    Kudos:
    426
    Bookmarks:
    56
    Hits:
    3,519
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Gift for ExMarks , and others from the Good Omens NSFW Party Fun Room on facebook, for the inspiration of this prompt. A couple of us are writing our take on this, here’s mine. Obviously, NSFW. Gabriel pays a visit to the bookshop, and Aziraphale can’t help but sit and stare at him on the sofa, and think of all the things that poor sofa has seen, all the dubious stains on the upholstery, all the sexy demonic shenanigans…. Poor Aziraphale.

     

    EDIT - see end notes for link to a fabulous sequel by Lyowyn!
    NEW! Quefish did a (very) drunk live reading of this on youtube, she also did "Squid Fight" beforehand in the same video, so I set the link to begin at the start of this fic reading, but feel free to watch it all HERE

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,340
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    85
    Kudos:
    453
    Bookmarks:
    56
    Hits:
    3,093
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley notices that there’s one thing that Aziraphale seems to avoid consuming, and not becuase he doesn’t like the taste. Being curious and mischevious, Crowley takes a gamble on a theory and is proven rather startlingly correct.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,065
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    371
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    4,106
  12. Tags
    Summary

    When Aziraphale embarrasses Crowley, the demon sets out to get revenge in the best way he knows how. If this involves winding his angel up until he can barely hold back, so much the better.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,811
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    161
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    1,625
  13. Tags
    Summary

    After the bus ride home, an angel and a demon face up to their own mortality in fear of what may come next, and decide to make the most of whatever time they have left together. 6000 years of missed opportunities to confess their love for one another culminates in an unexpected result that might just save their lives.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,632
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    258
    Bookmarks:
    29
    Hits:
    2,985
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley requires Aziraphale’s special skills every now and then to deal with a troublesome aspect of living in the pre-automobile age. Devolves into smut at the end. My apologies for this ending up rather like a period drama or Mills & Boon nonsense, but that’s how it turned out. I’m rather too influenced by my own historic collection of equine stories like “Mr Sponge’s Sporting Tour”, “Handley Cross” and Jorrocks’ “Jaunts and Jollities.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,735
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    44
    Kudos:
    176
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    2,131
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Bad luck comes in threes, this time it starts with Crowley's flight reservation gone wrong, and Aziraphale's ferry plans gone awry, then as the third in the set of 3 bits of bad luck, Aziraphale accidentally makes a mistake booking them accommodation on online with a foreign language website, which leads to something Crowley didn't expect.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,615
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    229
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1,878
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Some strange manifestations start happening around Crowley, and Aziraphale tries to get to the bottom of the mystery...

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,154
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    163
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1,159
  17. Tags
    Summary

    In this “lost episode” of Steve Irwin’s Crocodile Hunter, the Australian wildlife expert is exploring the British countryside. While shooting the episode, he discovers a certain exotic non-native snake. To be exact, a red-bellied black snake with yellow eyes who’s just trying to take a nap. Crikey, what a beauty!

    *No sneks were harmed in the making of this fic, although one demon was slightly embarrassed. For the record, examining snakes in the manner described is not painful to them, especiallly when carried out by professionals. Nonetheless please pay attention to tags, thanks :)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,497
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    116
    Kudos:
    364
    Bookmarks:
    67
    Hits:
    2,605
  18. Tags
    Summary

    What happens when a demon curses the sex dice. Crowley is a brat, and Aziraphale is Just Enough Of A Bastard™️ (again). More comedy porn, because apparently this is my niche now, and my legacy, my lasting contribution to literature. I’m not even sorry.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,458
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    160
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    2,178
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Whist being a valentine’s prompt short fic, this may also be considered an unofficial, much demanded chapter 3 of “Not on the plants, dear, we’re British” – a NSFW comedy fic. It didn’t have quite as much comedic value as I wanted for a real chapter 3, but it was pillow talk so I decided rather than binning it, to put it here instead. For context read the comedy fic first.
    Awkward demons aren’t the only people with embarrassing secret wank stories. A certain principality has some skeletons in his own closet…

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,532
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    176
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1,529
  20. Tags
    Summary

    After moving into the cottage, Crowley sets about tidying up the garden. He does it all by manual labour rather than miracles, to give himself something to do. One day he hits upon an idea that will take several months to come to fruition, and lays out a secret for his Angel. One spring day it's ready…

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,358
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    141
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1,079

Filters

Filter results:
Submit

Include

?
Include Ratings
Include Warnings
Include Categories
Include Fandoms
Include Characters
Include Relationships
Include Additional Tags

Exclude

?
Exclude Ratings
Exclude Warnings
Exclude Categories
Exclude Fandoms
Exclude Characters
Exclude Relationships
Exclude Additional Tags

More Options

Crossovers
Completion Status
Word Count
Date Updated
Submit

Clear Filters

Navigation