1 - 20 of 364 Works in Phil Watson | Philza is Not Technoblade's Parent
Navigation
Listing Works
-
Give Me A Lever and A Place To Stand... by Goatboo Truther (Fablemonger)
Fandoms: Dream SMP, Video Blogging RPF, QSMP | Quackity SMP, Sleepy Bois (Video Blogging RPF)
05 Nov 2025
Tags
Summary
... And I Will Move The World ~ attrib. Archimedes
“Someone stole my designs.”
“Ah,” Phil sighed, nodding. There it was. “And you want me to find out who took them.”
The other man snorted. “Not even remotely. I know who took ‘em. I just need someone to get ‘em back for me.”
Philza narrowed his eyes, suspicion rising. “I’m not a thief.”
The man slapped the file down in front of Phil. “Don’t need one. Thieves I have. What I need is one honest man. To watch them.”
Ex-Insurance Fraud Investigator Philza Craft is approached with an unusual offer: $800,000 and the chance for revenge against the company that let his son die if he will head a group of thieves in stealing back a stolen set of aircraft designs. But the request turns deadly, fast, and he and his ragtag team of loners emerge from the fire as something new.
A Mastermind. A Grifter. A Hacker. A Hitter. A Thief. Each competent professionals on their own.
But together, they're more.
Together, they provide... Leverage.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,426
- Chapters:
- 1/?
- Kudos:
- 2
- Hits:
- 46
-
Tags
Summary
When Technoblade's twin sister is assassinated five days before her wedding to King Cassius, his parents come up with the perfect solution: to send him instead.
The only problem is, Techno isn't a girl.
Technically he's not a boy, either. Deformity, the physicians had told his parents when he was born. Both boy and girl, yet neither.
He was raised a secret, his shameful existence hidden from everyone. And now, he is perfectly suited to step into his sister's place.Read the tags and content warnings.
-
Tags
Summary
In every life Techno was his.
It was a fact, a simple truth of existence. A constant through his millenia long life.
No matter for how long they were to be together or what form Techno’s soul chose to take, he’d always be his.
Whether that was a particularly mischievous crow in his flock or a stray puppy gnashing their teeth at him in an alley, he could always recognise his friend. His son. His confidante.
or
Phil finds his reincarnating bestie and snatches him up :)
Series
- Part 43 of Dory's Dark SBI
-
Tags
Summary
The SUV stopped hard in front of a sprawling house painted in light blue and green—odd choices for a place this expensive. Wilbur got out of the car and walked towards it, the perimeter was already secured in yellow police tape and officers were placed everywhere like little Lego men in a set, unsurprising — rich people always were such snobs. He showed the two officers at the front his ID and they let him inside.
Or: Wilbur's a homicide detective who got assigned a new case, as well as a new partner.
-
Tags
Summary
The world has always been outside—an unknown, dangerous, and forbidden place. Raised between four walls and closed curtains, the world collapses before one can even experience what it's like to be a normal child. The world has changed, turning the abnormal into routine. Trying to escape his responsibilities, he gains new goals that he can't ignore… especially with two strange children needing him.
Or…
In a dystopian world where hybrids are seen as pests, saving two hybrid children was an impulsive act, but now Schlatt must find a safe home for them and survive the new reality around him.Besides the constant threat of hunters, two immortal beings seem determined to end his life.
-
Tags
Summary
Returning to their parents' home for the first time in a decade, Techno is forced to face too many of the bad memories and broken relationships that he has been trying to ignore all this time. Things like all the reasons they left their parents' house to begin with. And how his twin brother, who he hasn't seen in years, still seems to hate him. The thought of it all is enough to leave him close to meltingdown, let alone actually getting on the plane to go there.
Luckily for him, the plane never gets home.
Unluckily, everything that follows.
—
Technoblade's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad plane crash survival experience.
-
Tags
Summary
“This is Cyrena,” their father says. His expression is oddly pinched. “She’s come to… to perform a ritual to help you both prepare for Wilbur’s departure.”
Techno swallows, nervousness prickling through their bond. His, mostly. Wilbur squeezes his hand reassuringly.
They kneel side-by-side, staring at the woman, confusion and anxiety flowing between them. She begins to speak, in a language Techno doesn’t understand. And then-
Pain rips through Techno’s chest. He chokes, gripping at it, it hurts so much-
Beside him, Wilbur flinches, opening his mouth in confusion.
Techno screams as the bond is prised out of his heart, the horrible burning world-shaking pain sending him toppling into blackness.ai-less whumptober day 27
Series
- Part 27 of ruby's whumptober 2025
-
Tags
Summary
Piglins are known by overworlders for a few key characteristics. Their outgoing social behavior, their penchant for striking a bargain, and their love for anything gold. But did you know that sounders also place high value on the protection and happiness of their runts?
Techno didn't. Until he was mistaken for one.
-
14 year old angel gets a gun in history class by BrotherChomper666 (Experiment666)
Fandoms: Dream SMP, Minecraft (Video Game)
23 Oct 2025
Tags
Summary
Purpled: my past teachers were literal demons bro
Tommy: maybe not literal but definitely with ill intent 💀
Purpled: yeah no shit not literal demons don’t exist buddy
Boobkisser: wrongk
Boobkisser: Demon very real have u met tommyTommy: i am NYAWT a demon tnx
Boobkisser: and also the tall man i see when i sleep i think hws a demon
Tommy: no that’s ranboo
Ranboo: uhm… Tubbo please get that checked out
Boobkisser: psaichosis 😍
Boobkisser: he tells me he is hungry
Boobkisser: he wants me to feed him the souls of the innocentDrista: im telling a trusted adult
in other words:
Tommy, an angel, starts freshman year at Essempi high, but evil spirits come to haunt the students and people are dying all over.
To solve this mystery, Tommy and his friends investigate the strange things happening in the school, while also dealing with their own, non-magical issues.
=
feat. many other characters, some ships, and my terrible humor. and also my totally non obvious character biases. mix of chatfic and oneshot!Series
- Part 1 of 3XY's 14YOA!Universe
-
Tags
Summary
Techno probably should've waited for Phil before entering a sealed temple, but he didn't. Now he has voices in his head and a blind god to help. He should've waited...
Series
- Part 16 of Whumptober 2025
-
Tags
Summary
When the conflict between Skyblock and the Antarctic Empire had dragged on long enough without showing any sign of either nation being defeated, a truce was struck. Skyblock agreed to stop its assaults and negotiate a peace treaty, and in return, the empire would do the same. To show goodwill, Skyblock would even go so far as to hand over its most competent general as a prisoner of war. That way, the Antarctic Empire would know the lengths they were willing to go to for a proper resolution.
Such were the circumstances that led to Phil taking custody of Technoblade: skilled warrior, revered tactician, and current political hostage.
-
Tags
Summary
He jumps back when he hears a squawk. Technoblade panicked, and shoved the bush to the side. There, laid — what he thought at the time — was an injured bird. The zookeeper throws the stick down, checking the bird wings.
Series
- Part 2 of Isekai Techno go brrrrrr
-
Tags
Summary
All he could see when he closed his eyes was the rusted iron anvil dangling over his head, attached to a fraying rope, slowly beginning to draw closer and closer as time moved in slow motion. All he could feel was the steady creeping of terror into his heart and the cold wood of the totem clutched tightly in his hand- his one lifeline, his one shot at escaping with his life.
Or: Post-execution Techno struggles to let his guard down and ends up lashing out. Luckily, his friend will always be there for him.
Ailesswhumptober prompts:
October 11th- Sleep deprivation
October 20th- Before it starts/after it’s overSeries
- Part 1 of Crow’s Ailesswhumptober fics 2025 🩹❤️🩹🩼
-
Free to Download, Pay to Win: help, I was isekaied into an eight year old and everyone wants my sick ass sword! by Anarchy_and_Piglins for miss_universe
Fandoms: Dream SMP
30 Sep 2025
Tags
Summary
From an outsider perspective, Techno has a very empty life.
He’s twenty-one years old, a broke college student who takes all his classes online, a complete social recluse because he hates people, never willingly leaves his apartment, and has sunk almost five thousand hours of his life into a shitty pay-to-win mobile game nobody except him really cares about called Assault Darkness Myths.
But that doesn't mean Techno is unhappy. In fact, he's very happy with his life!
So imagine how pissed off he is when he wakes up in the game's fantasy world stuck inside the body of an eight-year-old orphan.
-
Tags
Summary
Philza is avoiding dealing with his emotional baggage and decides to open a bakery in a smallish town. Unfortunately the meat prices are high. luckily his new landlord that live above his bakery is all too happy to help with that situation.
Though the man does stand a little to close for comfort. -
Tags
Summary
Many years ago, Philza was an expert assassin for an international crime syndicate; dubbed the Angel of Death and known and feared by all. These days, however, washed up, hurt, and lonely, he finds it difficult reconciling his mired past with the everyday chores of a civilian.
A lot changes once he crosses paths with coach Technoblade.
; or, Former Assassin!Philza and Gym Coach!Technoblade AU
-
Tags
Summary
"This is one of the many books you will need to study to become a successful weapon," the trainer says, voice slightly strained as she tugs the hardcover up and away from his greedy little fingers.
The trainer exhales long and hard. They do that a lot with Technoblade. "Technoblade," she continues, voice trying for stern and not making it anywhere close, "You need to get to training."
"Potatoes," he hisses.
It’s a lovely day in the
villagecity, and you are a horriblegoosethree-year-old weapon.Series
- Part 1 of ❄ ♪ ☆ mcyt ☆ graveyard ❄ ♪ ☆
-
Tags
Summary
The Blood God is a young vigilante who sometimes teams up with a friendly hero, Crowfather. After an unfortunate encounter with some villains who mistook Blood God for a hero and thought a truth serum would get him to spill all the hero society secrets they wanted, the young vigilante finds that not only can he NOT lie, he also feels compelled to truthfully answer questions.
Techno, codename Blood God, is NOT happy when his maybe-ally Crowfather has a few important questions for him. He can't be a hero one day if he ends up arrested now, so who can blame him for not wanting to risk revealing his secret identity to the one hero who's actually treated him kindly?
Even if Techno doesn't know it at the time, Crowfather really does want to help his young ally, and he may just have the perfect way to do that.
-
Echoes Of The Untruth by Juice_Of_Clouds
Fandoms: Video Blogging RPF, Dream SMP, Minecraft (Video Game), SMPLive
06 Sep 2025
Tags
Summary
Isolation, in the mortal dictionary, would be leaving something alone for a long time, isolated from all worldly looks and insulting words; peace for many, but suffering for others. Magic users have a different conception of this word: for them, isolation means a state of peace and calm, of reconnection with one's own core. Stories tell of great names that were never seen again. This meditation practice has changed in recent years; Unfortunately, not all magic users are adept at modern knowledge, which emerges and transforms as quickly as the wind. Returning, however, after so much time alone and secluded, without this knowledge, brought obstacles to this witch's new mission.
or...
Schlatt has to deal with the fact that an impostor is destroying his life while discovering what this person did. -
Tags
Summary
You can still play a violin if its body is broken.
...
You can't if its strings are cut."Hey, hey, don't cry! It's okay, I'll help you!" He panicked a little, trying to calm the boy down.
"R-Really?" The kid looked at him with such hope in those big, blue eyes that Technoblade almost immediately wanted to melt from tenderness.
He hummed, nodding. "Really really. I swear on my hair." Technoblade demonstratively put his hand over his heart. The boy giggled, covering his mouth with his small hands. "I'm Technoblade. What's your name, Big Man?"
"I'm Tommy!" Tommy's voice was shaking a little less now. "Your hair is funny."
Technoblade snorted. "Oh, please. My hair is perfect."
OR
Dark!SBI(+Kristin) AU where they are rich people, what he don't actually know, and Techno is just some guy. He helps Tommy when he gets lost, and you won't believe his shock when he finds out that his family turns out to be his new neighbors. They get along quickly. The Crafts are really sweet people!
...
They really don't like losing their things.Series
- Part 3 of Technoblade-centric for the soul
- Part 1 of Rich Bastards
