idiot4idiot
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Evelyn realized Varric had caught her gapping at Cullen and smiling. She blushed profusely and looked even redder than usual.
"You should tell him, Freckles. He's way too oblivious to figure it out himself.""I don't know what you are talking about," she told him while taking a big gulp of her mug and trying to look innocent.
"Fine, keep lying to yourself, but if you don’t tell me the details I’m gonna have to make something up for my upcoming book."
“Trust me, you don’t want that,” Hawke said with a cautionary tone and his characteristic smirk. "I was lucky I stole the first manuscript. I omitted some of the smutty details the first time I told him about it, so you wouldn't believe the things he made up... It gave us a few good new things to try, though," he added with a wink.
No matter what Varric says, Evelyn does not believe him when he insists Cullen has feelings for her.
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Martin searched Jon’s face, or what he could make out from the faint light from the kitchen. He looked almost adorably grumpy. His brows were furrowed harshly in discomfort, but any effect this may have had were offset by his quite noticeable bedhead and rumpled pajamas. He looked endearingly soft around the edges. Vulnerable, in a way that Martin had only recently become privy to.
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Obedience is Bliss by Apricotbuncakes for QualifiedMartin
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
05 Jul 2022
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Martin Blackwood, archival assistant at The Magnus Institute, professional piner for Jonathan Sims, is horny. Unfortunately he’s not so lucky in the love department as of late.
But when he finds an audio online, he’ll see that his whole life gets switched around.
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got what it takes (tell me why can't this be love) by nosferreals
Fandoms: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
24 Aug 2022
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The guy who wrote the ad certainly painted a vivid image, that’s for sure.
“23 years old, accused of murder once, acquitted because I never actually killed anyone. No high school degree :( but I do have a dirty old van one year younger than me painted like Eddie Van Halen’s guitar.”
That alone was enough to get Steve to almost die choking on his frosted flakes.
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a terrible guide to sex pollen in the workplace by djsoliloquy for madness_and_smiles
Fandoms: The Terror (TV 2018)
04 Dec 2022
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James has a strange reaction to an alien pollen. The first thing he does is kiss Francis on the mouth.
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Stede decides to take his new remote controlled vibrating butt plug for a spin in public, but he loses the remote. A handsome stranger finds it...
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Stede Bonnet is an exhausted and heartsick anesthesiologist, stuck in a rut in his job and his marriage. When he meets a brilliant transplant surgeon after one of the worst cases of his life, he thinks everything might change.
Series
- Part 1 of surely you will be saved one day
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Tell Me "Don't", So I Can Crawl Back In by KiaraMGrey
Fandoms: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
04 Dec 2023
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When Steve finds himself without friends, following his breakup with Nancy, he decides what he needs is a distraction. Maybe some new friends who don't remind him of the bullshit life he gave up. When he literally runs into Eddie Munson, school drug dealer and self proclaimed freak, an idea begins to form. Who better to show him what life outside popularity can be like, than someone who doesn't give a shit what anyone thinks?
And Eddie? Well, Eddie is just bracing for impact.
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“We have to do something about Ed and Bonnet,” Izzy tells them. “This stupid infatuation is getting out of hand.”
“But the boss likes him,” Fang argues, frowning. “He’s always smiling around him.”
“Yeah, he’s laughing a lot more,” Ivan adds. He eyes Izzy suspiciously. “And you want to break them up?”
“What? No!” Izzy is taken aback. Why would he want to do that? It’ll just make Ed mope even more and that’s the last thing he needs.
In which Izzy is tired of Ed pining after Stede and decides to get Fang and Ivan involved in a plan to play match-maker. But Ed's got a plan of his own. And so does Stede.
Series
- Part 7 of Draco's AU-pril and AU-gust Collection
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Of course, Steve is going to go support Robin when she lands the role of Mustardseed in Hawkins High's production of A Midsummer Night's Dream, there's no question about that.
He isn't expecting Eddie Munson to be playing Puck, and definitely isn't expecting him to jump off the stage and sit in his lap partway through the show.
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something that happens to other people by chryysaskk
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
03 Jul 2023
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"Jaskier, you can have anyone you want. I've seen you." Then, a smile, almost fond. "You fall in love with everyone."
Everyone, everyone. Anyone. Anyone there is. Anyone who looks like maybe, maybe, they will stay, or he is just too careless at this point that he tries anyway.
He smiles, bittersweet, and lowers his look. "Yes, indeed. Everyone." Everyone, she sent a letter today. Never to meet again, never to be seen. Jaskier shakes his head. "And me? Who of all them has fallen in love with me, Geralt?"
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Wolfwood puts a lot of effort into being gentle and Meryl would actually like it a lot if he could be a little less!
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Good intuition, left at the shore (ORCAWOOD FIC HEHEHE) by Albedothighs
Fandoms: Trigun Stampede (Anime 2023), Trigun (Anime & Manga 1995-2008)
19 Oct 2023
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“Fine, we’ll share the beach. Just keep it down with your tools while im out there, ‘kay?” He crosses his arms and gives the blond his best ‘not up for negotiation’ look.
“Fine by me. And you wont be throwing anymore octopus in my face.” The man tries to mirror Wolfwood, which just makes him look like he’s pouting.
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ORCAWOOD FIC THAT HAS BEEN COOKING IN MY NOTES FOR A MONTH NOW AHHSeries
- Part 1 of Drawn to the ones who never yawn
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"Ed finally saw why the club was called Bottoms as they were led into a larger room. There were rows of people with their lower halves on display, just ready to be fucked, their upper halves and faces hidden by what looked like some sort of private pod attached to a wall. Some were standing bent over, while others were laying down, their legs up in stirrups. The light was dimmed down to a soft glow, and there was music playing loud enough to muffle the sounds of skin slapping against skin, but not so loud that they’d have to yell to hear each other."
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Ed's had a crush on his boss Stede ever since he started working for him a year ago. When he gets the perfect opportunity to get the crush out of his system, he takes it. He doesn't count on it being such a good experience that he can't stop thinking about it.
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Either this guy has a crush on me or he's planning to eat me, will post with updates~ by Zizzani
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
03 Apr 2024
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Some day, Shang Qinghua will stop falling ass over tit into situations like this.
But it is not this day. Nor does it seem like it’s going to be any day soon, considering he’s woken up naked and clamped under the thick arm of one Mobei Jun, i.e. the most handsome man on Earth, rugby captain, and starring role in many of Shang Qinghua’s right-hand fantasies.***
After a night of getting black out drunk, Shang Qinghua wakes up next to the guy he's been crushing on for most of his college life. Naturally, Shang Qinghua is ready to pretend it never happened and forcefully continue with his studies as usual, except now Mobei Jun won't stop following him around.
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STWG prompt March 3, 2024: air mattress
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- Part 10 of Daily Drabbles & Tumblr Ficlets
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All those eyes on them and no one ever sees Ed’s heart, pinned to his sleeve, and bleeding all over Stede’s hand.
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An angsty one shot about the culmination of a 15-year-long affair between actors Ed Teach and Stede Bonnet.
Series
- Part 3 of Original Sin
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In the months after Vecna, Eddie had all kinds of nightmares. But this one? This one takes the cake.
He spent the last five days agonizing about whether his dinner-and-a-movie plans with Steve on Saturday night are supposed to be a date or not.
He knew better than to get his hopes up, though there is a part of him that really wishes this could be the exception, not the rule.
So when Steve picks him up at his door with a shy smile, and ogles him as he puts his leather jacket on, he's almost almost certain he is about to get everything he wants. He can almost feel it.
“Ready, Munson?”
He nods, not wanting his voice to shake.“Come on, dude! The girls are waiting.”
If there was ever a record-scratch moment in Eddie’s life, that was it.
The what now?!
His prospect of a date with Steve turns into his worst nightmare: a double date with two girls he’s never seen before.
But Eddie is no stranger to turning the sourest of lemons into lemonade. -
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r/Relationships
u/elpaso-dad • 40dMy (M30) best friend (M27) came out as bi, and I think I’m homophobic. HELP
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Eddie Diaz takes to Reddit to figure out why he hates his best friend’s new boyfriend so much.
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Chay tries to break into Kim’s room. And promptly gets caught.
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Bookmarks which have used it as a tag:
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Markus learns that attraction scrambles his circuits a little when one of the cutest grown men he's ever seen walks into the meeting room of Jericho, looking like a puppy who had been kicked until it bit back, and the first thing Markus can think to do is to throw out a bunch of stupid pick-up lines to cheer him up.
Connor, meanwhile, is a little too literal for most pick-up lines to make sense, but finds that he's oddly enjoying himself anyway.
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Eddie's not gay. He likes to kiss his best friend, even though said best friend has a boyfriend. But he's not cheating because Eddie's not gay.
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“Someone referred to me as your wife the other day.” Buck started.
Eddie choked on air. His cheeks were so pink. Why did he blush like that? Buck was paler than him, and yet somehow he didn’t blush anywhere near as hard as Eddie himself did.
“Do you think of me as your old ball and chain?” Eddie asked, going along with the joke despite the frankly upsetting colour of his cheeks. How was this Buck looking in love with him? Obviously they were comfortable with each other, but still.
Buck gasped, his eyes big, his back straightening out as he got ready to fight with God himself on this topic. Eddie knew immediately the rant he had started, Buck’s mockingly serious voice raising as he stared Eddie down intently.
“I would never refer to my wife as the old ball and chain. You don’t hold me down, you pick me up, you dirty little bitch. You’re the wind beneath my wings. God.”
OR -
Buddie as The Basement Yard boys.
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The one in which there's too much pollen around, Eddie pines, and Buck is oblivious.
Or - Eddie's love language is acts of service, and Buck doesn't totally get it.
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“Which do you think makes you feel most loved?”
Eddie thought for a long moment. Too long, maybe. Then he shrugged, “Honestly, Buck? I have no idea.”
Buck’s brows pinched up. “What do you mean? When have you felt the most loved?”
“Don’t make a big thing of this, Buck. Promise?”
Buck made a show of crossing his heart, brows still raised curiously.
“I’m not sure I’ve ever… really felt loved in a relationship? I’m not convinced that I know what makes me feel loved…”
OR -
After finding out that Eddie doesn't know what his love language is, Buck sets about finding out for him. He begins a five week experiment, one for each love language, to figure out which will make Eddie feel the most loved.
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Heart, I Implore You [Podfic] by ReformedTsunderePodfics (ReformedTsundere)
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
08 Oct 2024
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A recording of 'Heart, I Implore You' by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels
When Buck finds out his best friend isn't exactly human, he volunteers to help keep Eddie from dying.
It's definitely just to keep Eddie from dying.
No other reason.
None whatsoever.
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Steve really does try not to think about it in terms of…time.
Maybe that’s foolish. It’s mostly denial. Lots of it isn’t reliable anyway: the score his body keeps isn’t accurate, too many near-misses with a fucking alternate dimension skewing the results.
It’s been four years. Roughly. Depending on what the start point is. Whether it’s that Spring Break, or the first winter. Or the spring after, when Robin begged him to go with her—there’s still time. Maybe it’s measuring from the graduations, the kids—only Erica’s left at Hawkins High, now. It’s…that could be where the time starts from.
Or it could be the summer, that first summer. The one that taught Steve what it was to have a heart, just to fucking break it.
Could be that. Impossible to say.
(It’s been 3 years, 7 months, and 14 days. Steve had only counted in retrospect, in the wreckage left behind, because while he’d known there was a deadline in it, to it all, he’d thought he could be enough. That he could change a mind. He’d thought…
Foolish things. Bullshit. Didn’t matter.
Could be any fucking date.)
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Or: Eddie gets the fuck out of Hawkins. Steve stays behind. It’s not even messy—until it kinda is.
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r/Relationships
u/elpaso-dad • 40dMy (M30) best friend (M27) came out as bi, and I think I’m homophobic. HELP
or
Eddie Diaz takes to Reddit to figure out why he hates his best friend’s new boyfriend so much.
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Summary
“Are you kidding me?” Tommy interrupts. “You’re both going to sit there and ignore me after whatever the hell that was?”
“Well, you were doing such a good job with all the ignoring you were doing earlier that I just had to give it a go myself,” Eddie says snarkily. “How’d I do?”
Tommy sputters.
“You tell him, bro!” a voice calls out from a few rows back, and Buck snorts out a laugh.
It draws Tommy’s attention, unfortunately.
“You think this is funny?” Tommy asks, towering over them both. “Cheating on me right in front of my face?"
"Does it really count as cheating?" the woman beside Eddie mutters, looking away hastily when Tommy glares at her.
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(Buck's soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend chooses to ignore him every time the kiss cam points in their direction. Eddie does the opposite.)
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It turns out that Eddie Diaz is a slut.
Now Buck is in no way slut-shaming anyone, he would never, not only because it’s completely unacceptable and people can do whatever the hell they want with their own bodies as long as everything is consensual, but because of the old saying and all - those in glass houses, yadda yadda.
Buck knows slutty, he was slutty, but Eddie’s slutty is a whole other kind of slutty, not like Buck’s, which was sad and lonely and done for reasons he’s needed a lot of therapy to come to terms with, but Eddie’s? Eddie’s is fun and happy and joyful sluttiness.
(or the one where Buck thinks he and Eddie are just friends with benefits so he pushes Eddie to date other people because he’s an idiot.)
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[Podfic] Love and Bullets Both Shatter Hearts (But Only One Can Put You Back Together) by Mistchievous for letmetellyouaboutmyfeels
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
29 Jul 2021
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Agent [Redacted] Diaz is the best at what he does. Usually. But lately there's this real pain in the ass* who's been ruining his missions: Code Name "Buck."
*stupidly handsome and annoyingly talented rival spy
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The Rainbow Fish by LolaLand (Lola_di_Penates), strandnreyes
Fandoms: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
15 Feb 2024
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Despite being a big fan of animals, TK Strand has never owned one. He’s never had a reason to enter a pet store, until he gets caught in a torrential downpour.
Carlos Reyes knows a lot about pet stores. It comes with the territory, considering he works at one. That being said, none of his in-store training ever taught him how to help a beautiful, rain-soaked stranger pick up the aquarium rock display they just knocked over.
OR
The Tarlos pet store meet-cute.
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“I love you, you know.”
Buck smiles, and it’s Eddie’s favorite - the one that seems to light him up from within, beautiful and too bright to look at directly for long.
“Of course I know that, Eddie,” Buck replies, easy as breathing, but Eddie shakes his head.
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Or: Eddie confesses. Buck doesn't love him back, but it doesn't matter. He'll keep telling him anyway.
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Re: Buck & Natalia’s Wedding E-Vite
Eddie [email protected]to buckleybuck
Thank you for your email. Here are my two cents:
Cent one: I will NOT be attending.
Cent two: I suggest you hire a better graphic designer than Chimney. This wedding invitation looks like it had been pulled straight out of the first free template on Google and then edited on PicsArt.With warmest wishes to the happy couple,
Eddie Diaz.
___OR Buck and Natalia get engaged, and Eddie flees the state about it. A petty email correspondence ensues.
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“Hen, I think there’s something deeply wrong with me.”
Her eyes grow concerned at once.
“Oh? Do you have an upset stomach from the sushi we had last night? I swear it tasted odd.”
“No, that’s not—” Buck struggles. But then, wait… “Okay, actually, yeah, my stomach is upset but it’s upset at the thought of Eddie dating guys. Got any medicine for that?”
There’s a long pause, during which Hen just stares at him as though she’s never seen him before.
“Are you coming out as homophobic right now?”
_____
OR Buck’s loft gets flooded, making him temporarily move in with Eddie, who’s out and about dating guys now, apparently, and Buck tries to figure out why the hell the thought makes him sick.
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“You haven’t noticed the mole that has randomly materialized under your eye?”
“Buck, I’ve had that since birth.”
“No. You never had that. I would’ve known if you had that mole. I’ve been staring at you for six years straight!” It flies out of his mouth before he realizes what it sounds like. Buck feels his cheeks heat up at the amused glances thrown his way.
“I mean, not, uh, staring. Looking at you. A normal, platonic amount.”
Which is a total lie, but whatever.
____OR Buck grows an obsession with the mole beneath Eddie’s eye.
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“From now on, I won’t try to force myself to be with women. I’m going to try to find happiness with a man.”
Christopher looks at Eddie for a lingering moment until his gaze trails off to Buck and something like a realization dawns behind his glasses.
“Oh!”
“Oh, what?” asks Eddie, bewildered.
His son just throws his head back laughing.
“Dad, you don’t have to. It’s not the same as it was with Ana,” he lets out another laugh that is only met with more confusion from both Buck and Eddie. Christopher narrows his eyes before carrying on, “Well, you’re trying to ease me into revealing that you’re dating Buck now, aren’t you?”
Well, fuck. That’s— That’s definitely not what this is.
_____
OR Eddie learns that you don't come out just once.
Series
- Part 2 of crawling out from under my skin.
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Wisteria /wɪˈstɪərɪə/: associated with devotion, everlasting love, and yearning. In the Victorian language of flowers, the wisteria flower means “welcome” and “attachment,” signifying deep emotional connections between people.
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OR Eddie Diaz slowly suffocates on wisterias as he watches Evan Buckley fall in love with someone else.
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“Will you leave me alone if I redownload Tinder?”
Eddie’s smile falters. “Do you want to redownload Tinder?”
...or, miscommunication is a hell of a thing.
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Phainon gets engaged to Mydei after years of being head over heels for him. The only problem: it’s a political marriage.