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"...Fuck me!" "...I thought you'd never ask." by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for theycallmeDernhelm (onyourleft084)
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
31 May 2020
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From a prompt on twitter by @stan_gaiman:
Your Good Omens scenario of the day: One of Crowley’s wiles comes back to bite him in the arse.
“Fuck me!” he exclaims at the minor inconvenience.
Aziraphale sighs. “Thought you’d never ask.”Crowley gets, well... exactly what he asked for.
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Good Omens Celebration Prompts all in one place #GOC2020 & GO30Challenge by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge)
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
30 May 2020
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I decided to take on a few challenges this month in celebration of the 30th anniversary of the publication of Good Omens. #GOC2020 and #GO30Challenge.
So rather than do 30 seperate fics like I did for ineffable valentines, I’ll be shoving them all here in new chapters, combining the prompts in one place. I’ll probably add an index here as I go.
I’ve decided, as I didn’t get a head start on this last month like I did for ineffable valentines, that I might do something different, as I have over 60 fics already written, that if a prompt matches something I’ve already done, to share some of that instead, plus a link to the whole fic (if it’s just a snippet) for further reading, to introduce new readers to some of my older stuff. But where possible I’ll write fresh. I know it’s a cheat, BUT, I’m disabled and chronically ill and don’t always have enough spoons (energy) for writing so I need to practise self-care and make sure I don’t burn out.
warnings to be added to notes at the beginning of each chapter as appropriate, there will be some sfw and some nsfw. -
Slithering over... by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge)
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
01 May 2020
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Within about a minute of the official Good Omens Lockdown video Neil gave us today with Michael Sheen and David Tennant on the 30th anniversary of the publication of the book, I had begun bashing out a SFW fluff fic following the phone call. (“Slither over and watch you eat cake.”)
Well here’s the NSFW version. Still involves cake. Enjoy. Here be smut.
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Slither over and watch you eat cake by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge)
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
01 May 2020
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HAPPY 30TH ANNIVERSARY, GOOD OMENS! With a huge thanks to Neil Gaiman, the late, great Sir Terry Pratchett, Rob Wilkins, Doug MacKinnon, Michael Sheen and David Tennant for making us such a sweet little gift on youtube for the occasion, here's my take on what happened after the phone call between them... SFW fluff.
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Guardian Demon by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for theycallmeDernhelm (onyourleft084)
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
30 Apr 2020
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Humans can put themselves in the most awful predicaments. Aziraphale has his work cut out protecting them from themselves, lucky he has a helpful house husband and retired demon to lend a hand when needed.
Originally I was going to call this "Guardian Angel", but Crowley kept being such a helpful husband that I decided to rename it. Just random Ineffable Husbands fluff.
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Needing/Getting by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge)
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
28 Apr 2020
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“You know I’d never hurt you, Aziraphale, and that includes doing anything that might put you at risk of falling. And I’m pretty sure getting mated and marked by a demon alpha would be right at the top of that list. Not that any of us know for sure, but I wouldn’t want to take the risk.”
Crowley has spent thousands of years carefully loving Aziraphale from a safe distance, they put plans in place to keep each other safe, until it all falls apart one day when Crowley is sent a job from below to carry out a temptation that turns into a trainwreck of wrong place, wrong time, wrong person. Crowley owns his mistake and vows to make it right.But how to explain it to Aziraphale? How can he make the angel his at last, and how can he reconcile the hidden aspect of his life with what he wants for himself and Aziraphale?
Angst with a happy ending. While this is A/B/O (Omegaverse), because I’m tokophobic, there is *no* mention of reproduction/pregnancy/kids if that also grosses you out. The dynamics are mainly about bonding and partnership. It weaves around in the background of the events before Crowley is handed the antichrist, while he’s raising Warlock, Armageddon, and afterwards.
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Recipe for success by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for anaeifly
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
27 Apr 2020
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Summary: Comedy crack prompt from a tweet that reads: “Lotta baking going on these days. Here is a tip: if you want to make a cream pie, be sure to include the word ‘recipe’ in your google search. Otherwise, you may be startled by the results. This has been a public service announcement.”
FB Good Omens groups: OMG someone should crack fic this.
Me: did somebody say “creampie?” Oops that’s my kink, I’m on it…. Let’s face it, if it’s comedy AND smut, I’m in.So Aziraphale has been Using The Google, and quite likes the look of some of his search results, both culinary and otherwise. In the meantime, Crowley finds the need to send a desperate tweet asking ‘When your best friend/long time crush asks you for a cream pie, what’s the best way to ask “are you asking what I think you’re asking?” without actually revealing what you think he’s asking?’
Prepare for smut, because c’mon, this is ME.
EDIT: It's sheer coincidence that I wrote this the same week that the Good Omens Lockdown video was released, I've now written 3 cake related fics in a week. Feel free to add this to the Lockdown canon somehow if you wish.
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All Hands On Deck (Dick?) by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for CousinSerena
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
21 Apr 2020
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“Well I didn’t want to have to resort to extreme measures, Sir, but…” he paused, jaw tense. “Sir… may I suggest that we step it up a level?”
Lieutenant Phale went pale. “You don’t mean…?”
Fell was firm. “Yes.”
Lieutenant Phale gulped nervously. “Deploy the sleeves?”
“Indeed.”
“Sir, are you sure?”
Even Captain Azira looked hesitant. “The sleeves? Dear God man, what are you thinking?”
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Remember all those cold war movies where the crew of a nuclear submarine are at the helm, arguing over launching the nukes? Remember the animated movie “Inside Out”? Well mash those together with Good Omens and you’ve got whatever the hell this is. Welcome inside Aziraphale (& Crowley’s) minds as the angel attempts to seduce a demon. More crack comedy porn in the finest tradition of this AO3 account. With thanks to my lovely partner in crime / beta reader CousinSerena for the prompt. -
Sleep Paralysis Demon (ILLUSTRATED) by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge)
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
18 Apr 2020
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Some people are restless sleepers, some snore, some sleepwalk, then there's Crowley, who forgets he's not on the clock any more and sleep *works*...
Just some ridiculous ineffable husbands fluff for you, Inspired by “MayomKun” on Twitter: art here
Please go and give them a follow on Twitter! Many thanks for kindly allowing me to use your adorable art in my fic! -
Oh Lord, Bless this Bentley. by CousinSerena, GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for IneffableAlien
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
15 Apr 2020
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Summary: when Crowley’s beloved Bentley gets accidentally washed in holy water, it undoes over 80 years worth of demonic miracles, with a plethora of unwanted side effects. Cue much chaos and ineffable husbands bickering over how to set things right again.
This epic bit of Ineffable Husbands / Ineffable Idiots comedy chaos is a total of 6 chapters. Co written by GayDemonicDisaster and CousinSerena. A gift for IneffableAlien, thanks for the inspiration, Plant Daddy!
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Cake or Death? Sorry: Cake or Bentley? by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for CousinSerena
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
30 Mar 2020
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Random smutty oneshot, porn without plot, inspired by this tweet by Stan_gaiman:
“you know, I’ve yet to read a fic of Aziraphale shagging White Suit Crowley in the back of the Bentley after Warlock’s party with them all covered in cake and— yeah that’s enough now”My response? “Damn it. White suit Crowley is my favourite, I’m on it like cake on an angel…”
Basing this on book narrative because it sets the scene better - they stand outside the car while the conversation with Dagon takes place. The entire first section is entirely as per book dialogue (eg they don’t say the line “wrong boy.”)
BUT also: like any true petrolhead, in the book, Crowley absolutely does not allow food in the Bentley, so other shenanigans ensued. NSFW, obviously. (*mimics* "oBvIoUsLy")
Anyway, it's a mashup of Book!Omens and TV!Omens. The TV Omens boys with a bit of Book omens canon because no cake in Bentley.
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The trouble with ... tribbles? No : Quails, yes. Quails. Definitely quails. by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge)
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
25 Mar 2020
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Inspired by this comic: Tumblr link
The Almighty needs to send sustenance to the Israelites, and a certain angel is tasked with delivering some mana to them. Except it is rather tasty, and he is rather hungry. After a telling off, Crowley steps in to help the hapless angel.LOOK IT'S JUST POINTLESS FLUFF, OK? Plus look at Crowley, just LOOK AT HIM! He's a softboi.
the lovely Quefish has done a live reading of this over on Youtube
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Hot Rod (Illustrated) by CousinSerena, GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge)
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
25 Mar 2020
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1950s London: Crowley discovers the hot rod scene and likes to push the Bentley to its mechanical limits, no demonic interventions allowed, in high stakes illegal street races. When he asks Aziraphale to accompany him for a big race, the stakes get rather higher, and Aziraphale discovers that she finds this side of him rather hot…
ILLUSTRATED by Miele_PetiteMiele did TWO gorgeous illustrations for us, the 1950s style movie poster and the NSFW pencil sketch futher down in the fic.
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the coffee one shot (of espresso sex) by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge)
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
19 Mar 2020
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Just a thank you to the mysterious anonymous benefactor who sent me a little "thank you" today. I decided to use the source as a prompt to write a quick 1k word sexy custom porn in thanks to whoever you are. Crowley and Aziraphale are undercover scoping out a mafia base at a restaurant by posing as baristas at a coffee shop opposite. Crowley gets distracted by Aziraphale's comparitively scandalous state of undress without his waistcoat and jacket, and decides to give him a good ravishing in the stock room. Obligatory coffee puns at the end.
NEW: Quefish has done a life (very) drunk reading of this fic on YouTube, watch HERE
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Comfort porn for anyone who's feeling sore and in need of some special pampering by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge)
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
18 Mar 2020
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An angel and a demon turn up on your doorstep to dispense some care when you're not feeling great.
Written by request for a couple of people on our Good Omens discord server who are feeling rotten right now from injuries and chronic illness. CousinSerena started the idea of customised comfort porn, and more was requested, so it was my turn to do one. I also suffer from chronic pain so I know what it feels like to be like this. This one goes out to anyone who needs some one on one NSFW pampering from everyone’s favourite demon and angel. There isn’t any plot, it’s pure indulgent Porn Without Plot.
For this one, the reader will have a vulva, just a CW in case that’s not your cup of tea.
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Shake a tail feather (now with ILLUSTRATION) by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for CousinSerena
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
05 Mar 2020
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Perhaps because the almighty had a peculiar sense of humour, angels and demons could come into heat. Some would get an irresistible urge to nest. Aziraphale was prone to this. He’d start buying soft furnishings like they were going out of fashion (and the ones he bought usually already had gone out of fashion, it was like an explosion in chintz in the upstairs bedroom from the last time he’d had the urge to line his nest.)
The angel would become addicted to going on shopping trips to Laura Ashley, John Lewis, or lately, Ikea. The bookshop would become a riot of throw cushions and fluffy blankets. Crowley had seen him do it now and again, fortunately never at a time when Crowley, too, was being influenced by his avian aspect.
Like now.
Because when he brought his wings forward for preening, he saw that this wasn’t a normal moult. His new feathers were rather more colourful.
Oh fuck, not now...
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .In 6,000 years angel and demon had never had never co-incided during their cycles, but they're about to find out what happens when they do. More comedy smut.
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Squid Fight (prompt challenge from Ineffable husbands-Fanfictions Reader and Writer- AO3 on facebook) ILLUSTRATED by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge)
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
02 Mar 2020
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From the weekly prompt on the group Ineffable husbands-Fanfictions Reader and Writer- AO3 on facebook. The prompt was this:
Aziraphale, watching the news:
“Crowley, have you heard? Somebody tried to fight a squid in the local aquarium!”Crowley, covered in ink:
“Well maybe the squid was being a dick."
NEW! Quefish did a (very) drunk reading of this (and "Gabriel and the Sofa of Sin") one after the other on youtube, go watch! I set the video link to start at the beginning of this fic but feel free to watch it all: CLICK HERE -
Collecting all the pieces of you - #IneffableValentines2020 prompt 19 - whatever you like (free choice prompt) by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for Miele_Petite
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
29 Feb 2020
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Stick with it and please don’t hate me, this isn’t going to turn out how you expect, there’s always a happy ending.
Crowley is desperate for his angel’s love, he’s never been able to have it, so he’s made do with other ways of imagining what it would be like.Series
- Part 29 of Ineffable Valentines 2020
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I'm Yours #IneffableValentines2020 prompt 28 by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for Miele_Petite
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
28 Feb 2020
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An angel and a demon fall in love, and an angel yearns for something more intense from his demon, who happily obliges, with unintended consequences.
includes CONSENSUAL "non consent" play.
CW, mention of someone hurling homophobic abuse (but not what he said), Crowley shuts it down rapidly.
Series
- Part 28 of Ineffable Valentines 2020
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All This Time #IneffableValentines2020 prompt 27 by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for Miele_Petite
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
27 Feb 2020
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Love hurts, especially when you’re not allowed it. Aziraphale struggles to cope with his feelings about his god given abilities, and Crowley tries to help him see something important about it all.
“That’s the problem with having a thousand eyes. When you cry, it can get messy.”
Series
- Part 27 of Ineffable Valentines 2020